Original subtitles

GRUNTING AND MOANING

Terminal four!

Bob? Sally Fairfax here.

I've remembered that Mr Stafford's

Can you get a porter to meet them?

Oh, and his suits -

And when you go and get the dog...

Steve?

Morning, Eddie.

Morning, Mr Stafford. How was

Still... Thanks for the flowers. Sheena. Flowers? Her mother died,

Sheena. Flowers? Her mother died,

Did Mrs Stafford enjoy it? No idea,

About Swindon. Could you

Done it already. Well done.

Time to shed a bit of fat,

A few redundancies might be

I know, we'll close it down.

I'd hate to break it to them.

Your rise is about to be announced,

Excellent, Sally. Bit of shaving

I found your contact lens and I've

The map shows a depression

Well, Friday was a bit slack.

Excellent, Sally.

Then, you've got

from the EC Central Bank at two.

Yes. Couldn't we make it tomorrow

So if we do the piling...

we could telescope stage one

We're waiting for the geological

I went out and drilled a few holes

That's some PA.

LIVELY CHATTER

Your design does have

For a start, it's cheap.

Simple, functional and a jewel

What?!

Sorry, it's just that

What Miss Fairfax means...

is the design,

Nothing subtle about it. The

Thank you, Sally. I thought

You've last year's

Done that.

Done THAT.

Get the boardroom ready

Know what? I've done that.

This is a very important decision

Who else is in the running?

And Paris. I've been to Paris.

The final choice won't just be...

I bought six of those...

Oh, it's gone! Le Creuset pots.

The Government have assured me

I lugged them all home and I found

So I brought them 400 miles

SPEAKS DUTCH TO HIS PA

SHE ANSWERS IN DUTCH

THEY CONVERSE IN DUTCH

SHE LAUGHS HARSHLY

Same happened to him, y'see,

Right. Right. Yes.

Shall we watch your presentation?

Steve?

Sorry I'm late.

Happy birthday, Sally.

Can you get me a gin and tonic?

Say I don't look a day over 25,

Steve?

Photocopy.

Please, Karen.

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

What's your favourite perfume?

Erm...

Gosh, erm...

Well, Ysatis or Givenchy. Either

Thanks. OK.

Yes. Yeah... Bad moment?

No, not at all. Bye.

Fine.

Look, erm... this is a bit delicate.

You don't have to be a genius

Mrs Stafford and I

What I wanted to ask...

We've known each other so long...

Yes?

Look, I met someone in Florida

She's in London and we want to spend

It's nothing serious,

we all need a change of scene from

I've booked you into the Nanesbrook.

Afternoon rate. I phoned your wife,

I've told her you're

Jerry from accounts is going

He'll keep his receipt as a backup.

Ah, Sally, there you are.

It's 3.30.

Mr Stafford's been looking for you.

What have you been doing? I'm just

You're not going back to work

Look, I am just going to have

Oh, dear!

Oh, God. Hang on. Hang on...

God, my ankle's gone.

BURBLES INCOHERENTLY

That's not the one.

That's the one. That's it.

Come on!

Oh, God!

Come on!

COME ON!

I knew that.

Restaurant bill. You said you'd

Did I? I am. I AM! I've got them

Oh, shut up!

PHONE RINGS

Hello. It's Mrs Stafford. Oh, yes.

Is Harvey there? Yes...

I've got the restaurant receipt,

Receipt? Yes. The one that PROVES

I see. But don't tell anyone,

Putting you through,

YOUR WIFE'S ON THE PHONE!

IT'S YOUR WIFE!

YES?! Oh, yes. Miriam, darling...

Well, look, I can't find it.

Clear your desk!

I'm sorry. We can't go on

Look at the STATE of you!

I'm sorry it has to end this way,

Why on earth do you do it?!

Excuse me,

can I have a passkey for

I've come to get my Filofax.

Here's my security pass,

MUFFLED SHOUTS

I'm phoning Brussels and the DTI!

No. Let's see how YOU like it!

Miriam!

I didn't mean to! I know, I know.

There's still a faint pulse.

Mr Stafford? Yes?

I'm afraid she's dead now.

We've got to get rid of her.

We were on our way to dinner.

and we argued. I didn't mean...

Did anyone see you two come in? No,

Good. We'll bundle her

Take her out to the hallway. What?

Take her NOW.

Yes, right. Right.

I wonder if I'm helping you out

I don't know what came over me this

You just stay here

There!

Why aren't you

I can't follow it, they're mumbling.

Hey! That's that film

She gets her kit off any minute.

There! Coming now! Really(?)

I think Brad Pitt does, in a minute.

'The main evening news on BBC1

So, fire extinguishers,

working just fine.

It's just that we had

and that's really, just fine.

OK. You go home and get HER car.

Past the pub there's a dirt track.

A dirt track? Yes. You keep the map,

Oh, Mr Stafford? Yes?

Come on!

One more time, OK? Right.

When was the last time

Where were you all evening?

The food and wine programme.

How do you make it? Sally! These

Now, what time did I call?

And? Erm... Come on!

BONG! Er, News At Ten. Ten past ten.

You know...

I SHOULD feel something for her,

Six years... we were married.

You know, if you've already got

it doesn't leave room

Well... I, er...

Y'know, I suppose...

Sally, thanks...

...for everything.

Morning, Karen!

Morning, Mr Stafford. Morning.

at 9.30, and pencil in

It's vital we stick

I've prepared a little file for you.

This is your alibi timetable

This is last night's plot

which really was

Here's a list of reactions

One: think it's a practical joke.

Two: disbelief.

Three: shock. And lastly,

I thought you could pass out, but

Meeting a client for lunch.

Thank you.

Thanks very much.

So tell me

Miriam suspects.

Is she the jealous type?

She's even jealous

Really?

Should I be jealous

What? Good old faithful Sally?

She's like a labrador I once had,

wagging its tail, plodding along.

The embarrassing thing is,

She's probably in a wine bar, pining

Bless her.

This is a joke, isn't it?

We reckon she's been dead

Hello. (Mr Stafford.)

I've thought of something

When people go into shock,

their mouths go all dry and their

Ask for a drink. Go on!

Now, Mr Stafford,

we DO need to ask you

What were your movements

I mean, she went to her mother's.

Can anyone vouch for that?

Yes! Miss Fairfa...

She phoned me several times.

Sharon, bring her in.

Can't you take my word for it?

No! Mercy! Mercy!

Hup, two! Am I on? Ha, ha!

Miss Fairfax...

It's awful!

What?

His wife's body's been found,

We only found her an hour ago. Mr

Ah! Well, I could tell.

Tell? Yeah, tell by his expression.

I KNOW this man. I've been his PA

That expression says something

describe what YOU did

WHAT? You're saying

I'm sorry, but that is outrageous!

Not a cross word has been spoken

More recently, they haven't spoken

I swear with my hand on my heart,

that this fine, upstanding man

Please! Movements

Right, OK. Movements. Erm...

I was at MY flat

and I called Mr Stafford

at HIS house three times.

second time was 8.45,

and erm... third time...

third time...

Ten past ten. 10.10?

So I think the longest gap

Not long enough for this LOVELY man

and WHACK his wife over the head,

drive her body out of London, dump

Unless, of course, he chopped it

Miss Fairfax, we are pushed for

While the murderer OR murderess...

...or murderer AND murderess...

we don't know yet,

They could be on a jet,

That'll be all for now.

Thank you, sir.

Mr Stafford, why not go home?

You're in no fit state. Fit state...

I'll organise a car.

Don't worry about me, darlin',

Do you realise...

My God, you're sober!

What exactly do you want from me?

I like Sally, Mr Stafford,

but look at this

She had a bit to carry over.

Eight weeks?

Karen, just handle it, would you?

Did you see Crimewatch last night?

Miss Fairfax, we're arresting you

Anything you say

may be used in evidence.

We searched your car and found

We understand

Apparently, she had a fixation

Sally?

Then the drinking started.

Mr Stafford? Don't forget

Confirm the numbers

Oh, and the final edit

Everything's up to date.

Morning.

CAMERAS CLICK RAPIDLY

Welcome. Ladies and gentlemen,

we are honoured that you have

for Europe's leading financial

a project that gathers

honed in major international

What you're about to see, is, for

the culmination of a lifetime's

AUDIENCE GASPS

If you tunnel due north,

This brings you out

I'll have both in a bag, which

For our honeymoon, I've booked

I hope that's OK with you...

♪ Murder most horrid

♪ As soft as the smoke from a barrel

♪ As cold as the blade of the knife

♪ She's a stranger

♪ Her caress could cost you your

♪ And you wake in the night