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I want a mortgage.
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Certainly, sir.
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Well, I've seen
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Needs underpinning,
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What's your name?
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RIGHT! We don't want to spoil
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Hurry!
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HURRY UP!
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Thanks a lot.
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You don't do bridging-loans, do you?
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Nearly ten to the hour on
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for two free tickets to Minneapolis
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"Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da." was made
14
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Marmalade!
15
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...give us a call if you think
16
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Who will win those tickets?
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We have Wayne from Elm Park
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Mungo Jerry.
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Was it Pavarotti?
20
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YES!
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IKE AND TINA TURNER was a VERB when
22
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Metropol Hotline. Name and location?
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Putting you through,
24
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Who is it then, Denise?
25
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Well...
26
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Denise?
27
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Or else you'll see what this can do
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Who was it? Marmalade. IT WAS!
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Now, pull out and drive.
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Eyes on the road!
31
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How long are we going to be? What?
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How long is this going to take -
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It's just I've got to pick my
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Bernie doesn't like to be
35
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Excuse me, but if you'd just hear
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All right. Well... All I'm saying
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that's what he means. He doesn't
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I don't want a repeat of last time.
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I arrived early cos Stanstead's good
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Been recently? Well, it's very good.
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I lost my credit card
42
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So the Faro flight docked -
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He drops all his duty-free, trying
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he has a screaming blue fit
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and then gets a taxi and doesn't
46
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Nothing personal, darling,
47
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or Bernie in a bad mood...
48
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Switch that off!
49
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What else you got in that bag, then?
50
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You've done a bank, haven't you?
51
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How much you got? Just keep driving!
52
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Denise - you are in a NIGHTMARE!
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No, no! Still here - unfortunately!
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...On the hour,
55
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News is coming in
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ยฃ200,000! Wow! Now, the raid
57
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Farmer Street? Barclays? Hang on!
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I'm there every day! Fascinating (!)
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Who served you? Nobody!
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Was it Mandy? Piggy... round glasses?
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Brilliant!
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Did you see the deputy manager...?
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Here? This is the station!
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I wish you'd told me! I'd have cut
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One word to the police
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Not at all! Any time! Love you!
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Excuse me, sir.
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We'd like to ask you a few
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GET OUT OF MY WAY!
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He's got a gun!
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Oy! Get in!...Come on!
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What's going on? You were seen. Huh?
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It was on the news. Shite!
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I ask you! From Hamleys, was it?
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Yes, actually!
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I knew it!
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Why are you helping me? Well,
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I'm a Capricorn. And Capricorns,
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like a change of mind sometimes,
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...unnecessary risks.
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Whoooh!
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MANIAC!
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Eat shit, you mothers!
84
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So, what about your husband?
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Bernie? Let him take the train
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If he changes at Bishop's Stortford,
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He'll be through
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He'll be by Menzies, huffing and
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"Where is that stupid bitch,
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Yeah, well, let him wonder for once.
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Maybe I'm too busy to pick him up.
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Maybe I'm bowling.
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in some motel.
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"What, Denise? Nah!!"
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Maybe I've gone for a spin with that
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Why are you stopping?
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Stranraer?...Where's that, then?
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Scotland.
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Scotland! I knew you had an accent!
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You're Scotch! Scotland, yeah!
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Scotland! Jesus!
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I thought we were in for
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I've got a step-class tonight.
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Bernie'll want to go to Homebase in
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What have you got into?
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I wish something exciting would
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I'll have half now and half when
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Cut?!
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Ten per cent. Ten per...
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Drive!
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No. You drive! What?
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Pull the trigger, dump my body.
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You can't drive, can you?
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How many tests did you take?
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They lack the right co-ordination.
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Ten per cent?
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I think that's the going rate
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Thank you! Lovely!
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You wait here.
120
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We're in luck, it's only Sheena.
121
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Denise! Am I glad to see YOU!
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We're out of Vita Cream,
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Coffee break, darling? I've had one.
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Well, take another one. You're
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Talking of time off, there's no
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Yes, yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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Right, well, I think I'll go and see
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That'll be 11 times now...
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You're a dark horse,
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โช Love is in the air... โช
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They've got you down as twenties
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A touch of henna
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We'll have you looking like
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What?
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Did you know? What?
136
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Dermatitis. Dermatitis?
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Red, flaky scalp.
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First sign of stress.
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You are! I'm not!
140
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Shit! I forgot the "Closed" sign.
141
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Wotcher, Denise! Hi!
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It's Gary. Who's he? He's a copper.
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I'm seeing Sheena. Right!
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Gary... can I introduce Marvin?
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All right, Marvin?
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Oooh, Gary, I'm so sorry, Sheena's
147
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No, it's the dance tonight.
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Sorry - no can do!
149
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I'll take Marvin.
150
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I'm sorry, Gary.
151
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Why not? He's... busy.
152
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He don't look it! Come on, Marvin,
153
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Can you give Gary his usual?
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Gary likes it layered, Marvin,
155
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Thanks a bunch (!)
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Come on! I want to shift some cattle
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Can you make me look like that? It's
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Please don't back-comb, Marvin.
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All right, Gary?
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Look, I got to be there by eight,
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Where'd you get him from,
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Hey, hey, hey! Hold on!
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I've just come off shift.
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'All units, '
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'it's about the raid.'
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I'm wrestling Edward Scissorhands!
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'We've got more news. Our man is...'
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'...Adidas bag. Green trim.
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'but keep your eyes open.
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'...One other thing -
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'Got that?
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'Over and out.'
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What is it about you lot? You always
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"He was average-looking
175
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Not happy till you're on Crimewatch!
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It's all right! You look fine!
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Turned out a bit... Jason Donovan,
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Sorry!
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It'll take a bit longer this way.
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Still... nice to see
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Do you know what I REALLY fancy?
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A toffee... There's one in there.
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Sorry about that.
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What's this?
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THAT is a souvenir letter-opener
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from Faro duty free. YOU explain it.
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I fix meters with it.
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Bollocks! Dear!
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Bernie can't relax, either.
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Do you ever stop?
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Then, one day, he's
192
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He's never played golf in his life!
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Now he goes twice a year.
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He stays somewhere called the hotel
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Funny... I called him there once...
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Still, that's probably
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Funnier still... he doesn't bother
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Sorry, what?
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Do you EVER stop?
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Meaning?
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I bet you're incapable
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Of course I can!
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Fifty quid!
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Right. 30 seconds starting... now.
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Obviously, I'll...
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There! That's a long time.
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No! No music, no cigarettes
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All right!
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Thirty seconds starting from... now!
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Wh...
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Five.
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Ten.
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Fifteen.
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Twenty.
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Twenty-five.
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Thirty.
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A cinch, you see!
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Not doing too bad today, are you?
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The bag! Where's the bag?
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Shit!
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Denise, the cupboard's locked
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You all right?
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It's Wednesday. So?
224
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It's Wednesday!
225
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Trucks come in and out all the time.
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But if you want to have a look
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We haven't got time!
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It could be anywhere!
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I'm sorry.
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You won't believe your horoscope
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"You are forced to question
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"as your plans may well go astray.
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"Roll with the punches
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We've still got my share.
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Bernie.
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Come on.
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Let's get out of here.
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Been away on your holidays, then?
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What?! Sorry.
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God!
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Looking forward to Christmas?
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Just shut up!
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It's not what you think...
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...Ireland.
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Beautiful country.
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All that barbed wire
247
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that's just one square mile
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Even then, they never show you the
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It's like Hello! magazine
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The worst thing about Ireland
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It never stops frigging raining.
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I remember, when I was a nipper...
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JESUS!
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Argh!
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What happened?!
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Come on, let's stop off somewhere.
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Ten, twenty,
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thirty,
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forty,
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fifty...
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Would you really have done it? What?
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Kill me. When you got in the car.
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Yeah.
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I don't believe you.
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Why don't you run us
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She made phone contact.
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They're at the Claymore Hotel,
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They're here, all right!
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All units, be careful with
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What's that?
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Urgh.
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Fell down the stairs, didn't I?
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Why don't you leave him?
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You get used to everything
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Even this.
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What...?
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Shite!
278
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What is it? Is this you?
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What?
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Don't be stupid! What's your game?
281
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You've been stringing me along! Me?!
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We're in this together, aren't we?
283
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,319
Get out there!
284
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,959
Get back!
285
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,959
Get back! Right back out of the way!
286
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,959
You got me in this mess,
287
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,799
Anyone comes in, and she gets it!
288
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,959
Back! Stay back!
289
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,959
You're surrounded. Anyone move,
290
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,959
and I'll kill her. I mean it!
291
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,959
Clear the entrance.
292
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,959
Go on, Denise.
293
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,159
You wouldn't do it!
294
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,959
You wouldn't!
295
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,159
Go on, little Denise. Drive.
296
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,959
You're not going to do it.
297
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,959
What did your horoscope
298
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,639
She met a knight in shining armour.
299
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,959
Drop the gun and get out.
300
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,159
Well done, Denise.
301
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,959
Sean Lacey, you are under arrest
302
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,959
for the murder of Bernard
303
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,959
What?! You're also under arrest
304
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,959
and the abduction
305
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,959
Anything you say...
306
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,959
Sean, eh?
307
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,959
Jesus, what a mess!
308
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,799
You all right, love?
309
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:45,999
Yeah.
310
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,959
Did HE do that? Yeah.
311
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,959
I'll have him! I'll have him!
312
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:09,159
Is it true that he...?
313
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,959
You know! That he, erm...
314
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,959
Three times. My God!
315
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,959
I think they should be castrated!
316
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:24,959
Dean says there's this injection
317
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,959
Denise, all those terrible things
318
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:35,959
I feel just awful now.
319
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:40,959
Well, I think you're done now.
320
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,959
It's lovely. There we go.
321
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,959
Thank you very much! Lovely.
322
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:50,959
Have a lovely time. And don't
323
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,959
Best thing for mosquitos.
324
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,959
No-one deserves to go like that -
325
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:02,479
not even him!
326
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,959
Poor Bernie!
327
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:48,959
Yeah.
20583
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