Original subtitles

[soft eerie music]

♪ ♪

- I had been, in total hon--

called to the office a couple times

over "relationships with students."

And-- - For what specifically?

- No, just the classic.

It was the, you know,

"girl hanging out in your room," meal time,

That kind of stuff.

You know, and I'm just like, "If you wanna investigate me,

investigate me. Please."

♪ ♪

- Okay.

What's public information is he's under investigation

on the TEA website for misconduct with a student.

We don't know what happened,

and I don't know when we will know what happened.

- He sat down with us.

He's been talking to us about this.

You told him, and we've had conversations

about grooming, inappropriate relationships,

all of this stuff for... - Yeah.

- A long time.

For me, it's pretty simple.

Are these-- is all this stuff true?

Like the--are these real?

Are these real text messages between you and this student?

And what were you thinking?

- I'm just tying myself into knots about this.

- I can't help but think about

the girl on the other end of these allegations...

♪ ♪

Given the whole process that we've gone through.

Everybody who we've met along this journey who's had--

who's been in her shoes.

I'm thinking about you.

I'm thinking about Heaven.

I'm thinking about Alisson.

Yeah, personally, I would not feel good

if we didn't do our due diligence around this

just because of knowing how this cycle continues

is by people not getting to the bottom of it

and not exposing it. - Yep.

- And I'm not gonna contribute to that.

And that's, like, what I keep coming back to

with this Tom thing.

You know?

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

- I made the stupid-ass decision of actually caring.

Kids knew that they were safe,

that they could come and talk to me about anything.

It was all done with doors open

and they told me that I was being insubordinate

by not following procedures, which I don't quite understand.

But I just felt like I was used an example

all of a sudden. Done.

Districts have become over reactionary

and the fact that I'm being singled out

is kind of painful.

For me, grooming is a willful intention

to drag the student into a more intimate relationship.

You know, "Can I see you?"

It could be sending an image.

It could be, you know, an inappropriate text,

if you try to instigate private meetings,

"Send me a picture of you,"

"Oh, my God, that looks hot,"

wanting to talk off-hours--

that kind of stuff.

To me, that would be an instance

of definite grooming.

♪ ♪

- So we saw some posts on social media about

purported to be texts between you and a student.

- Mm-hmm. - I don't know

if those were accurate,

if they were those texts or if they were--

what context they were given in.

Do you have-- have you seen those?

- Yes, I have.

- Were those texts that were between

you and a student?

- Yes, they were.

♪ ♪

I think that what the main problem they had with it

is they don't understand the way

that the Spanish language works.

There is two different ways to say, you know--

you know, "Love you, have a great day, fantastic."

You know, there's te quiero, which is basically used

in front of family and friends.

You know, I say that to all my former students.

Te quiero. And there's the te amo,

which is--that's a bit serious, and you don't want to do that,

um, in any way, shape, or form.

So for me, all those texts that I had--that I'd sent

this particular student,

were basically support.

"Hey, nice hair.

Love the change of hair. Fantastic."

In retrospect, yeah, probably shouldn't have sent them.

But at the same time, any kind of support

I would've be able to give them,

I don't regret that.

♪ ♪

- If my daughter was getting those text messages

from a teacher,

I would be at the school that same day.

Period.

End of story.

Yeah, no, I don't believe him.

I don't believe him.

I can't believe him.

The story with Tom has this greater kind of arc

of not understanding where the line is

and kind of placing the blame on everybody else

because he's not being able to teach

in the way that he wants to teach.

♪ ♪

[light clattering] [beep]

[clattering]

- We've been together for 4 1/2 years now.

I already know, like, that is my life partner.

You know, we are married in our heads,

even though it hasn't happened in life yet.

Heaven is the sweetest person I know.

You know, she's often described as, you know,

like a ray of sunshine and I feel like

that is the true Heaven.

At her core she is just so sweet and loving.

But then no one sees the hours she spends in bed

just, like, crying because there is so much--

or she feels like everything is on her

and she is constantly double-checking

and second-guessing every move that she makes.

She doesn't expect to be believed.

She comes prepared with every single thing

I need to explain to make sure that you are going to trust me

because that is what everyone else showed her

she needed to do.

It feels like it would be chaos

to be in Heaven's head.

[soft sentimental music]

- The teachers had--

[inhales, exhales]

♪ ♪

The teachers and the administration

at my high school really made me feel like it was my fault,

and they played a role

in, like, that psychological, like--

where you can't trust yourself

because you're like, "Did I do something wrong?"

Like, it took me years to understand

that the stuff he had said to me to...

make me trust him,

the "advice" that he was giving me,

was to have me under his wing so that I would trust him,

so that...

♪ ♪

He could get to know what he needed to know about me

to manipulate me, to groom me.

♪ ♪

There were just-- there were just a few things

that I feel like now looking back on it,

it was right in my face.

With what I know now, I just think

he had a motive

and he was willing to do what it took to get his way.

[soft foreboding music]

- The first comment that I can remember

that was, like, off was--

I was leaving one day

and he kind of, like, leaned back in his chair

and was just kind of, like, looking at me

and was like, "I really like you."

And I was like, "Thanks."

Like, "I like you too. Like, cool.

This class is awesome."

And he said, "No, I'm serious. I mean, I like-like you."

♪ ♪

And so I didn't really think anything of it.

I just kept going on.

And then there was another time

where he'd said, you know,

"I don't know if I've told you this before,

but I struggle with insomnia."

And he said, "And you know,

"when the school year starts again,

"that sometimes can ramp up,

"and I have, like, a problem with my insomnia,

"but I haven't been feeling that way

since we started working together."

- Something about the admiration in his eyes

as I was childlike seemed comforting.

Rarely was I rewarded with kindness

in moments of childlike behavior.

I remember being conditioned to grow up

before I knew what growing up meant.

It made us closer.

He coached me through some of this pain,

opened portal to poetry

that allowed me to make friends with pen and page.

I felt he was mentoring me by sharing common experiences

or giving me advice of, like,

"This won't hurt you for so long.

"You'll be able to move away and go to college

"and, like, you'll start to shape your life and these--

"you know, the stress that you're feeling right now

won't be forever," and so I felt like

I was getting a benefit in that.

♪ ♪

He said, "Bring me everything you've written

in the last year."

And a lot of it was, like, gushy and emotional

and, like, very embarrassing if I had to read it now.

He said, "You know, your work, it's really immature."

And I was surprised and a little disappointed.

I went from being good enough that you invited me in

to now I'm immature.

So I kind of, like, put that on myself

of, like, what can I do to be better?

I had been writing a poem where I felt like

a boy I had a crush on didn't like me back.

He's like, "So you're feeling disconnected from this person

"that you're trying to connect with,

"and sex is like a really intimate thing,

and, like, can we maybe write about that?"

I did not write about those kinds of things.

I didn't really talk about those kinds of things.

♪ ♪

And so he gives me this example.

And he says, you know, "I wrote this last night.

I was thinking about you."

And he'd written a line about lips to lips

creating like a double entendre

of lips on your face

and lips on...

♪ ♪

One day he was like, "You can come sit over here

by my desk," and he was like, "You can sit closer."

I was standing and he stood up

and he put his hands on my face.

And, you know, I said no.

Um, not very loudly,

but I was uncomfortable.

♪ ♪

And he kissed me.

And that's kind of what started, like,

a slew of other inappropriate

and very manipulative and exploitive behavior.

♪ ♪

I did things

that I did not feel comfortable doing.

The reason why I didn't scream or run

or tell someone immediately is because...

when he would ask, you know, "Can you go down on me?"...

♪ ♪

It was after an argument

where he had said that I was ungrateful,

that I didn't value the time and effort

and...

energy that he put into helping me.

[sniffs] You know, I was scared that if I said something,

I was going to ruin someone's life

who maybe cared about me,

and at that time, I was certain that he cared.

His cold hands.

The sharpness in his voice.

My isolation.

And during that time, I just didn't know what to do.

Like, way too much for a 17-year-old to carry.

The anxiety, like, really started to kick in.

I was having trouble keeping food down.

I really wasn't eating very much,

not sleeping very much.

He had told me, you know, "Nobody can know,"

and so I was pushing my friends away.

And so this world that I had worked so hard to create,

where I had had friends

and things I was interested in doing...

all of those things went away

because of the pressure and the guilt

and the restrictions that he made me feel like

would benefit me if I did them.

If--if you don't tell, then, like...

things are gonna be okay.

And so I just went along.

I tried to follow the rules as best as I could.

But once he was gone, after we'd been physical,

he was everywhere, lingering inside of me

and I wanted to itch him off my skin.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- Where can you go?

Those are the people you're around

eight hours a day.

Everybody condones this authority

that these men have over you, right?

I'm being told by everybody that these men

who are my teachers

are the ones who are in charge of me.

That power dynamic, in a way, is almost ultimate

because everyone around you is telling you

to trust these people.

I was sort of bred to be this person.

- So if you took sort of the culture of Texas

and you sort of concentrated it down to something,

it was Little Elm. Very small.

I think there were 2,500 people when I graduated high school

in the town. It was run by white men.

Having your education guided by white men

and predominantly taught by white men,

having women's sports teams run by white men,

definitely gave the impression and the idea

that white men were superior.

And when you have a society culture

where white men are sort of ruling and in charge,

it creates an environment

that's not safe for anyone else,

certainly not safe for women and girls,

certainly not safe for people of color,

certainly not safe for people who are different.

[soft melancholic music]

- I had told my friend that things were going on

and she had said, "This makes me really uncomfortable.

Do what you wanna do, but, like, I can't handle this."

And my best friend at the time,

her mom decided to call the police.

And so I was pulled out of my fifth period.

And the police walk in and I'm sitting there thinking like,

"Oh, my God, I know what that is."

And so the police, you know, they bring me upstairs

into their resource officer room

and they start asking me questions

and I denied it, um,

until they said, "This is happening

to other people, and we know it."

And, like, a switch went off.

There were so many other people

that felt that Mr. Meyers had been inappropriate with them.

You know, some of my close friends

that had said he had abused them as well

and I'm thinking, "How was he abusing the both of us

and we're sitting diagonal from one another in class?"

And then I was faced with watching the news media

broadcast the arrest and seeing his picture

and my story in such a public way.

- 40-year-old Jason Meyers has been arrested.

- Palmetto High School teacher is behind bars.

Jason Meyers is charged with sexual battery.

- Meyers accused of having sex with a student.

- A teacher who is accused of sex crimes.

- I was also very upset

when I saw they said my initials.

- Okay, so he's, uh...

[indistinct chatter]

Alleged to have committed a sexual battery

on a minor by an adult.

Let me take a look at this.

The minor has initials H. R.

- Following his arrest,

reporters showed up at my house...

followed my dad on his route to work.

You know, and they come and they bang on the door,

and you don't know what's going on.

You open it and people are just screaming questions

at you and I remember crying.

By the time I was back at school,

everyone knew that it was me.

My world was falling apart, and...

I have to go back to school

because I still need to get into college

and life needs to have some sense of normalcy.

♪ ♪

And I have my teacher, and I sit down

and she starts talking about

"The girls involved with this are lying."

Jason Meyers is a great teacher.

He's a great man.

Very, very quickly it was this culture of, like,

he's with us

and you're not.

[exhales]

[dark unsettling music]

- Nobody knows why there's such a huge protection

with Jason Meyers.

Once a teacher gets arrested,

it has to go to the Department of Education in Tallahassee

for a licensure investigation,

and nothing was done in Tallahassee

with Jason Meyers.

I don't know why.

In 2016, '17, '18, '19, and '20,

his license wasn't even touched.

♪ ♪

Parents have come out to the school board meetings

to talk about the school district's penchant

for not caring.

- There have been teachers who have committed sexual crimes

on our children, and I want to know why

these teachers are being protected

and not being held accountable.

- This is a real issue.

You have kids who are out of the system,

and five years later, they're waiting

to see their abuser in court.

You guys allow this.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

♪ ♪

- It's unacceptable, and it's gotta change.

So we filed a lawsuit under Title IX

to hold the school board accountable

for failing to do its job.

It wasn't to just chase the money,

just get the quick settlement,

and let them sweep it under the rug.

It was to get the point across that the system is broken.

I don't think the school board ever thought

we would see it through.

I think they thought that they could throw money

at the problem and it would go away.

[somber music]

- The civil case happened in fall of 2021.

- The news media followed the case considerably.

- It's a teacher sex case.

- What did Miami-Dade school district leaders know?

- The school got a warning about Meyers

years before his arrest.

- Meyers' former student

has already filed a lawsuit.

- The student has filed suit.

- She is Jane Doe in a lawsuit

filed against the Miami-Dade school board.

- Suing the school board was really difficult

because it was me versus them.

It wasn't the state versus Meyers.

And so they were going to attack me,

and they did.

They victim blame.

They say, "Well, here are all of the other things

"that were wrong.

Wasn't us."

- They would go to any length to avoid accountability,

and so they threw money at the problem

by hiring so-called experts

to support their theory of defense.

They also had a psychologist, Dr. Shelia Rapa,

who evaluated Heaven.

Dr. Rapa was adamant that she was not traumatized

in any way and did not suffer

from any sort of mental health disorder.

The other attack they're making

is social media posts.

They thought that would support their theory

that she's doing fine, that she's not damaged,

just like their experts said.

- It was just a really ridiculous, comical thing,

honestly, to us, because they just tried so hard

to paint that narrative using social media.

- We are in the misogynist culture

where women, if they're not believed,

then, you know, why would you believe a teenager, especially?

You know, there's something ageist about this too

that they couldn't know what's happening

or what did they do to contribute

to that situation?

♪ ♪

- People were victim blaming me.

There's been a lot of that.

But I think I was the number one perpetrator

of the victim blaming.

I was the person who did wrong,

and then I was the person that could take responsibility

for it, and so in a way,

I was taking responsibility for everybody

so that I could make it okay.

- It's just so sad, honestly,

and it just ruins so many girls' confidence

and it's a lot of unlearning for a lot of people.

You start that guilt cycle so early.

It's really hard as an adult to come out of that.

No matter how much therapy you get,

sometimes that guilt and shame just lives inside you.

♪ ♪

- It's hard for me to talk about...

♪ ♪

The sex...that happened.

♪ ♪

I feel a lot of, like, shame and guilt around that.

And the defense team has kind of, like,

really pushed to reinforce this, like,

"Well, you could've screamed.

"You could've ran away.

You could have told someone immediately."

- He gradually progressed the sexual activity.

There were instances of fellatio,

cunnilingus, and sexual intercourse

inside the classroom, behind the closed door,

right under the school board's noses.

- I remember kicking my legs,

right, left, right, my feet unable to reach the ground.

I turned to him, embarrassed,

like a child who suddenly became self-aware

of the space they took, noise they created.

He met my doe eyes with eagerness--

calculated, studious, ready to pounce.

I was a kid.

[sniffles]

[moody music]

♪ ♪

- She had other dreams. She had other passions.

And they took that from her

because they didn't do their jobs.

- They really came after my character

and my family in that,

and so it's turned into something more

than just what happened to me.

♪ ♪

And it has strained relationships

with people in my immediate family.

And now I'm living with the aftermath of that...

♪ ♪

And I don't know where some of the people in my family fall

in my life since that.

- She kind of sacrificed her family by doing this

not knowingly that she was sacrificing her family,

but her family didn't want her

to go through with the civil lawsuit.

And I think in a lot of ways, Heaven is alone right now.

- This stuff is so heavy.

It's, like, hard for me to, like, make friends

or be myself around people

because this is my life right now.

If this wouldn't have happened,

my life would have been very different.

I don't know that I would necessarily wish

for it to be different because I do feel like

a strong sense of purpose with what I'm doing

because I think it will make a difference,

so I'm happy to do it.

♪ ♪

- Once trial is over, we sit down at a restaurant

and we're waiting for the verdict.

And the second we sit down, Mark is calling me

and he says, "We have a verdict."

We ran into the courtroom

and I'm sitting there and it's, like,

very, very, very quiet, and the jury comes out.

The jury says yes,

we found Miami-Dade County Public Schools

to be deliberately indifferent.

It's, like, super reassuring

'cause you're hearing one by one the people

that have watched it from that outside perspective.

They read the verdict, and it was a $6-million verdict.

[upbeat music]

- And honestly, at that point,

I could feel Heaven sitting next to me

have this cathartic moment.

I, myself, was just overwhelmed

with pride and hope.

♪ ♪

- And when we walked outside, it was--

it was like the skies had just opened up

and it just started to pour.

And I started crying,

and I felt like it was my grandmother.

The streets were flooded.

It was raining so hard and it was so windy.

And I just...

[soft sentimental music]

♪ ♪

In a weird way, I felt like it was her saying, like,

"Good job. You saw it through."

- We're inspired that we won in the civil case,

but we are discouraged that it's been almost six years

and yet the criminal trial still has not occurred.

Mr. Meyers was arrested in February 2016.

Criminal charges were filed thereafter.

He's being criminally prosecuted as he should.

And here we are in 2022,

and he has yet to face justice.

They're hoping that they will exhaust Heaven,

that she will lose the will to fight,

that she will lose the courage to come back to court

and tell her story again to try to get a criminal prosecution,

but that's not-- that's not the girl I know.

- Do you think you'll want a whole one of these rolls

or just, like, half?

- Um, just a half, please. - Okay.

- Thank you.

I wish you could come with me to Miami.

- I know, baby. When is that?

A couple weeks?

- Yeah, I am--

I have a hearing in two weeks

to see if it's actually gonna go to trial.

- Okay. Yeah, I was gonna ask you

how confident you are that it actually does happen

as it's planned.

- [sighs] Yeah, that's, um, that's the question, right?

[soft music]

- I'm definitely afraid

that they decide he's innocent,

that it just becomes the antithesis

to what happened with the other trial

because I don't know what kind of effect

that would have on Heaven.

You could argue this is a more significant case

than the other one 'cause this is the actual person

who did this to you, this was the personal connection,

the person that built the trust

and then ripped that away

and was doing this to so many other people.

I'm really afraid of that somehow going wrong,

of somehow they find him innocent.

Our whole relationship I have wanted

these court cases to happen.

They have been the biggest, darkest cloud

hanging over Heaven

for the entire time I've known her,

and it has felt like that is holding her back

from being able to see a future,

to be able to look forward to anything ahead of us.

Like, we talk about a life together, but you can tell

that it doesn't feel real to her.

- Your partner's almost as important as your friends

and--or your therapist or your parents or whatever

and that they're kind of going through this with you.

- When Cheryl told me she was thinking about

doing something, I thought maybe it would be a play.

My first reaction was I wanted to protect her from it.

It seems scary to me to put it all out there.

But then once she started sort of digging into it

and I could see it was a release for her,

it never leaves you.

That kind of violation of who you are,

she'll never be able to forget it.

It'll never leave her, but I'm hoping

she can find some peace.

- The reason why I like to go through these

is because it gives me a good frame of reference

for what's gonna be asked of me again

when I go to trial.

So something that I think the defense will try to do

during the case is try to ask me really specific questions

to have the jury hear me say, "I don't know"

as many times as possible

because if I'm, like, the lead witness on a case

and I don't know,

"She doesn't remember anything," like,

that's like their best shot at saying he's not guilty.

Beyond a reasonable doubt is a hard thing to prove.

I'm the only one that the judge has approved

to testify.

Like, it's on me to carry that through.

And it's a lot.

[melancholic piano music]

♪ ♪

- Good morning, Judge. Jessie Freeman

on behalf of the state.

- We have sounding on Thursday.

You wanna go ahead and let me know

what the status is now?

- Yes, Your Honor. State's ready.

And I do have Heaven, the victim on the case.

She is present on the Zoom as well as my trial partner.

That date does work.

We were looking forward to going to trial now.

- Defense is ready as well.

That said, there are issues

with the practicality of it going on March 14th.

♪ ♪

- Okay, good morning.

- Good morning. - Morning.

- Judge, state's ready to begin trial on 4/25.

The lead detective, Detective Web,

is in a--about a month-long training in Alabama.

What I discussed with Mr. Horenstein

was possibly picking a jury the week of 4/25

and then starting testimony on the week of 5/2

or in the alternative, having Detective Web testify

via Zoom at the trial during the week of 4/25.

- Defense, what's your preference?

- Your Honor, I'll object to both.

- Okay.

- Having the detective-- the lead detective on the case

via Zoom is not going to work.

- I'm gonna be honest with you.

We start Monday.

I don't know that we'd be able to pick a jury in a day.

- Okay. - Tuesday I have to finish

no later than 4:00. - Okay.

- We're all gonna make our best efforts,

but I can't promise you when it's gonna be done.

- The State chose to wait six years

to decide that they wanted the trial

and waited until-- - Right.

I understand what you're saying.

You know, it's last-minute.

I 100% agree, but they're still timely,

so I don't think that I should impose the most

onerous sanction and have her stricken.

♪ ♪

[soft tense music]

♪ ♪

If we're not gonna be in trial,

I already have another trial set second, waiting to go.

[laughs] - Yeah.

- Thank you, Mr. Meyers and...

the rest of the people that are on the Zoom.

♪ ♪

- It's just hard. It's just really hard

on my emotions and...

[cries]

♪ ♪

That's, like, the reality of being victim.

It's...

extensive, unreasonable delays,

lots of back and forth.

Does waiting six years for trial,

is that "speedy"?

♪ ♪

- I think too often we...

we put pressure on the victims to explain to us

their trauma, their experience

to teach us and educate us about what they've gone through

so that we have a better understanding of it.

And that's putting too much of the onus on the victims

to take responsibility for what was, in fact,

done to them by somebody else.

We don't spend enough time pointing the finger

at the perpetrator of the crime.

We need to talk about

how the perpetrators need to change,

not how we need to avoid being victimized.

[moody music]

♪ ♪

You know, people keep asking me

if I feel like I've found resolution

or if I feel healed in any way.

And I look at the different ways

that Heaven and Alisson and I

have all processed through our trauma.

And for Alisson,

she sat in a room and spent time with her journals

and then she wrote a memoir.

And for Heaven, she decided that the legal system

was the way that she was going to process through her trauma.

♪ ♪

For me, I decided to make a documentary

because that was the way that I processed

through my pain, and I'm a filmmaker,

and so that's how I wanted to process my trauma.

♪ ♪

I think in looking at our three very different experiences,

what I've realized is,

at the end of that road...

in a way, there is no resolution

because there is no way to tie this experience up in a bow

and, you know, put it away on a shelf.

[Daniel Farrant's "Who's Gonna Fix It"]

- ♪ Don't you know that you gotta ♪

♪ Take some of the blame ♪

♪ You said those unkind words 'cause you think it's a game ♪

♪ Well, it's not ♪

♪ And it's got real serious ♪

♪ Who's gonna fix it? ♪

♪ Time to give it up ♪

♪ Look around, get found ♪

♪ But it don't make a new sound ♪

♪ No joke 'cause it's broke ♪

♪ Who's gonna fix it? ♪

♪ Who's gonna fix it? ♪

♪ ♪

- This is what we've been living with forever,

so it would have to take something enormous

to change here.

When you think about teaching children about consent,

that's actually a huge thing,

but it's something small that we can do

in our everyday lives

that is radically different from my experience.

♪ ♪

- I think it is incredibly important

for parents, for teachers, for administrators,

for adults to understand how this happens,

to be able to identify the stages of grooming

and to feel confident and empowered

to say something.

- I don't really know what's next after this either,

but I don't feel like I'm done yet.

It's not really what I want to do with my life,

but...

To feel fulfilled within myself,

like, I can't put it down.

I feel like there's still so much more to do.

♪ ♪

- Hopefully, by telling your story,

you can inspire other girls,

you can raise awareness,

you can create a vocabulary.

You might even be able to change some laws.

No matter how you come forward,

it's a difficult, painful, ugly, messy process.

It...it stays with you for your whole life.

♪ ♪