Original subtitles

[ Static ]

♪♪

♪ My dreams are all dead and buried ♪

♪ Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode ♪

♪ When God comes and calls me to His kingdom ♪

♪ I'll take all you sons of bitches when I go ♪

♪ Let her blow ♪

My turn.

Hell no. Hey, man, let me drive

that thing, come on! Do not touch the trim!

All right, y'all. Next space up for auction is number 37.

Y'all go on home now. This'n here ain't for sale.

No, uh, Early, it actually is for sale.

This thing ain't been open or paid for

in over 40 years.

Go ahead, Jolly. All right,

let's start the bidding now... Sold!

Shh! Hush up, Early. Over here! Me!

Shh, shh, shh! Knock it off.

Stop jibber-jabbering those high numbers.

Just give it to me. It's mine.

Stop jacking up the price.

You don't have any money.

Well, that's why I need you to let me some.

Ah, sorry, bitch. This one belongs to the G-dog.

Going twice. Make it a third time.

I'm out. My financing fell through.

Sold to the pear-shaped fat boy!

Yes! All right. Let's open her up.

Come on, Victorian furniture.

Antique coin collection. Let's see.

Oh, there ain't nothing like that in there.

I recall a lava lamp, a hair dryer,

the stuff we stole from the neighbor.

Wait, you used to own this unit?

Nah, we ain't own it. We lived there.

Squatted really.

[ Rats squeaking ] Oh!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Who says you can't go home again?

Screw this. I'm leaving. Burn it down.

Oh, no, Glenn, I'm afraid you're the owner,

so you're gonna have clean it out.

-God damn it! -You've lived here, Daddy?

That's right! It was the summer of 19 and 81.

Ga Ga and Granny was pressing pause

on their volatile marriage,

so Ga Ga would rather live here in this storage space

than apologize to that beeyotch.

Never give an inch. I learned from the best.

Yeah, I remember my daddy saying

y'all was living here.

I slept right here on this stack of urine-soaked Us Weeklys.

[ Laughs ] Your daddy, he wasn't none the wiser.

[ Snoring ]

The lights. My box fan. My lava lamp.

The Russians is taken down the power grid!

[ Pounding on door ]

Sheriff's dad: I know you're in there,

and it's time to leave. Ain't no one in here,

and you're not none the wiser to it.

I heard you say that, Ga Ga.

Damn these corrugated walls!

You can't sleep in here, and you can't run this extension cord

off of Noodle Buddha.

Stop plugging in your power cord into our power socket!

Come on, let's go.

Let's leave here, boy.

Just like the sheriff told us.

And you don't need to come to check

'cause we ain't gonna go back in there once you leave.

See that you don't.

The fool! We sleep here tonight.

And that son of a bitch ain't none the wiser.

Early: We did sleep there that night.

That son of a bitch wasn't none the wiser.

Oh, right, now I 'member.

We slept in jail that night.

And it was the best damn sleep we got all summer,

'cause living in that storage space

was like living in a living hell.

♪♪

Goddamn Noodle Buddha!

Unplugged my juicer again!

Snip, snip, squid man.

I cut your cable, you power thief.

[ Sighs ] Grab a hammer, boy.

I guess we're making onion smoothies by hand now.

Early: I had to make my own fun.

I'd invent games like "Ring around the Rabies"...

Red rover, red rover, send possum right over.

[ Hisses ] Aaah!

..."Name That Tune"...

[ Singing indistinctly ]

Stop me when you know it.

[ Singing indistinctly ]

Come on, boy. Don't you like music?

[ Singing indistinctly ]

That's a good song, Daddy. What is it?

I don't know.

...and "Head Lice Olympics."

Come on, man! Get after it!

Come on, Lucky. You can do it. Get your ass movin'!

Feels like a real horse race up there,

except for it's lice.

I think that's where I developed my vivid imagination.

And this chronic skin condition.

Of course.

Even the stolen shopping cart's a piece of shit.

Damn! Looks like old Ga Ga's whip needs a tune-up.

Ga Ga: There's my ride!

Womarns can't resist a hot set of wheels.

You gonna get you some strange today, Daddy?

Nah, your mama's strange enough for me.

I'm gonna win her heart back today.

[ Hair dryer whirring ]

[ Whirring stops ] Goddamn Noodle Buddha son of a bitches!

Plug back in my hair dryer!

You steal the power again, I calling the police!

I really don't think Mama wants you over there, Daddy.

Remember when she shot you in the back of the head

and said, "I don't want you over here"?

Well, she'll come gliding out on her own juices

like a shuffleboard puck when she hears

the sweet nothings from my silver tongue.

Open up, woman!

I want to live here, not there!

It's hot in there. There ain't no power or running water!

It reminds me of here.

[ Siren chirps ] Leave her alone, Ga Ga.

She ain't here 'cause she know'd you were coming.

I'll shoot you in the front of the head this time.

Ruby, I asked you to stay hidden.

So you are here.

You lyin' bruise-colored skin blob!

I love you, Mama.

Stay with Daddy, honey. I'm enjoying my me time.

You best not be in there doing the horizontal boogie

with Dewey Duvall Sr.

He's not here.

You can't fool my eyeballs.

I see him right there.

-Hey, Ga Ga. -Hey, Dewey.

-She said y'all was done. -We are done.

We're done when I say we're done.

I am the smooth talker here.

I say we've never been better.

Open this goddamn door!

We've never been more in love.

[ Siren chirps ] She'll come around...

when I come around and threaten her more.

That's enough back there.

Oh, I've got more. I'm sure you do.

This is your fault, boy.

She don't wanna date someone that's got a child.

So, uh...

where you stayin' these days, Ga Ga?

Staying out of my business, where you ought to be a-staying.

So the storage space.

I ain't living over there.

So where do you want me to drop you?

Right here's good.

This is the storage space, dumb ass. Ha ha.

I got you again. Hold up, Early.

I know your daddy's got y'all living in that storage unit,

and there ain't much I can do for him

but look the other way.

Goddamn Noodle Buddha!

You unplugged my fish tank!

You stop stealing our power!

But you ain't got to suffer, too.

Early: Your daddy tried to help me. He truly did.

But childhood trauma had already set me on my path.

Hey, Sharif, how about you show my pal Early here

how to play pirate?

Aye, aye, Captain.

Avast, ye scurvy dog.

Daddy, my baseball cards are gone.

What the hell? My gun.

He took that, too.

And Mama's necklace.

I done brought us a gun,

a necklace, and some toilet paper.

Put the toilet paper over there, next to the toilet,

which is that upright piano.

Well, why don't we use the toilet for the toilet?

I'm using the toilet for a chair.

So why don't we use the chair for the chair?

You don't sit where you shit, son.

Ain't you ever heard that spression?

Can I shoot my new gun at the piano?

No. Shoot the chair.

The chair is the target, and the piano is the toilet.

Don't make me go through this again.

[ Gunshot ] Lobba! Lobba! Lobba!

There we go. Now you're getting it.

Lobba. Lobba. Lobba. Focus. Do me proud.

There you go, son. Lobba. Lobba. Lobba.

[ Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" plays ]

Hey, look, it still plays.

[ Music continues ]

[ Sour note plays, music stops ]

Ah. [ Note playing ]

This key's a little muted.

Ah, gross.

The one thing I thought I could save.

You sure you don't want these bones in the corner?

Free bones. No, no, that's okay.

You can keep the bones.

I'll be busy pressure washing the inside of my new piano.

Ha ha ha!

The damn fool! He done throwed the bathwater and left the baby.

Hey, what in the hell are we gonna do

with a bunch of animal bones?

Ol' Ga Ga had a saying --

"You give a man a fish, and he eats for a day."

"But give a man a large collection

of random animal bones,

and he'll rip off this stupid Chinese restaurant."

Scuse me, sir. I got a bone to pick with this meal.

Here we go.

This long bone here with a head on it.

Looks like it comes from a bat. Uh-huh.

This don't look like the menu picture.

Not at all.

What is the meaning of this?! [ Slurps ]

I didn't order no sweet and sour bat skulls.

Is this how y'all do business?

I'm never coming back here again...

till tomorrow.

And you better still have this policy

where you give me a free meal

if I find a bat skull in it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, wait.

I'm a collector.

No! Bones go in trash.

Hey, boy, go plug this in that outlet over there.

You bring me some chow mein, you hear me?

And it better not have one of these bones in it.

The Bone Man, they called him.

He got away with it for quite some time.

But then he got lazy, started mailing it in.

Is this why you call this Peking duck?

I see a bunch of possum bones "peeking" out of it.

They are duck bones. Part of the duck.

So it is.

I suppose this is how y'all do here.

Yes, this is how we do here.

I see.

Run, boy!

Early, you're not thinking of pulling your daddy's old hustle.

Hell nah. I ain't playin' that old man's game.

I'm taking it to the next level.

Look here. I found a possum pelvis

in all four of these steel-belted radials.

Say it.

What is the meaning of this?!

There ya go.

And you expect me to pay for an unlimited data plan

with a rat carcass in it?

I refuse!

And I want this wireless headset.

Is this how y'all do here?

I'm not usually the one to complain,

but I was trying on these here crisp new boot-cut sparkle jeans

and I found a bat skull in the pocket.

Varmints in the garments --

That's what I'm gonna be tellin' everybody about this store.

I also found animal bones in these summer cargo shorts.

And the breast pocket of this hot-ass rodeo shirt.

Is this how y'all do?

Sir, step away from that hot-ass rodeo shirt.

Sorry, guys. Uh, health code violation.

There must be an infestation or something

around Dougal County.

We just had to shut down Noodle Buddha.

But I got a lunch appointment there today.

Oh, you don't want to eat there.

I heard somebody found a bat skull in his cashew chicken.

That was me. We did it.

All you gotta do is put a bone in something,

and then they'll give it to you.

You get that?

Loud and clear. Take 'em down.

Wait, Sheriff. There's plenty of this

to go around...

for those who can stay silent.

Can I cut a deal if I flip on him?

Nunh-unh. He's the one who done it.

He made me do it. You can see it. No, you lie! He's the one that did it.

All these bones in the cell.

Is this how y'all do things?

I ain't giving you shit.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Made in Georgia ♪

Whoo-hoo!