All language subtitles for Squidbillies.S13E02.1080p.HMAX.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,756 [ Static ] 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,049 ♪♪ 3 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:12,095 ♪ My dreams are all dead and buried ♪ 4 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:18,268 ♪ Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode ♪ 5 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:22,981 ♪ When God comes and calls me to his Kingdom ♪ 6 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:28,445 ♪ I'll take all you sons of bitches when I go ♪ 7 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:31,114 ♪ I'll take all you son of a bitches when I go ♪ 8 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,240 My turn. 9 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:33,700 Hell no. Hey, man, let me drive 10 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,577 that thing, come on! Do not touch the trim! 11 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,040 Now, let's all bow our heads 12 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,126 for a moment of silence. 13 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:49,007 Hang on. I-I got a late start. Please don't tell my boss. 14 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,633 Where's the damn hearse keys? 15 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,553 Some shit-for-brains backed it up to the wall over there. 16 00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:55,972 That's right, I'm talking to you, gravedigger. 17 00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,808 I thought it'd be easier to get it out later if I backed it in. 18 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,059 Is that right? 19 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,853 Well, how we gonna get the coffin out? 20 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,355 Through the sunroof?! 21 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,566 Now, you best have that hole dug by the time 22 00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:07,484 preacher man says "amen," 23 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,319 or I'm gonna snatch a knot in your skull. 24 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,654 Yes, sir. 25 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,073 Uh-oh, I think I nicked a rock or something. 26 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:16,367 Rocks don't make a hissing sound, stupid! 27 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,995 You busted the gas line to the crematorium! 28 00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:21,122 Now I gotta relight the pilot. 29 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,874 Pain in my ass! 30 00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,751 Amen, already. Let's wrap it up. 31 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,462 He's as dead as he's gonna get! 32 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,298 Ugh! It's fuckin' hot out here! 33 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:31,925 Ugh. Rusty: Excuse me, sir. 34 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,219 Remember when you said that after I was here a few months, 35 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,304 I could shadow you while you prep a body? 36 00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:38,014 I just wanna pick your brain. 37 00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:40,934 Well, I'm pickin' this fella's brain through his nasal cavity. 38 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:44,270 Ugh. Now, they say it's unnecessary, 39 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,814 but 8 pounds is 8 pounds, and at my age, 40 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:48,691 I'll do anything to save my back. 41 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,485 Now, Rusty, get your worthless ass in there 42 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:51,694 and relight the pilot. 43 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,279 It - It still smells like gas in here. 44 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,781 Gimme that, goddamn -- 45 00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:56,783 Always fuckin' gotta have it your way, goddamn it. 46 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,160 You don't mind if I just crack the window a little bit, do you? 47 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,703 Yeah, go ahead. 48 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:01,955 Typical millennial, always looking for the nearest exit 49 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,749 when there's work to be done. 50 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,296 Oh! 51 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,048 Aw, damn it, I was almost outta here. 52 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:15,093 O-Okay, when do y'all wanna schedule a viewing? 53 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:19,055 Hell, I don't know, Pastor, I'm just the gravedigger. 54 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:23,143 It looks like you've been promoted, Rusty. 55 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,688 Ha-ha, look what the cat dragged in. 56 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,357 Where you been lollygaggin'? 57 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,108 Some of us have to work, Daddy. 58 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,360 Well, they say "Do what you love, 59 00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,237 and you never work a day in your life." 60 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,071 But I say "Don't show up for work, 61 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,574 and you never work a day in your life." 62 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,909 And not working has worked out damn good for me. 63 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,287 I got promoted from gravedigger 64 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,163 so I'mma need somebody to fill my old position. 65 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,206 You think you can help? 66 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,749 Mm, sounds like work to me. 67 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,459 And you know what I say about work. 68 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:52,171 It's 10% inspiration, 90% tax evasion, 69 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,257 and 10% ragin' Cajun. 70 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,260 Whoo! I give 110%. 71 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,428 Granny, how about you? 72 00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,721 I'll pay you 20 bucks a hole. 73 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,723 Yeah, any dumbass can dig a hole! 74 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,182 Hang on, you can't hire a scab! 75 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,601 Get off me! She ain't with the union! 76 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,728 This is a right-to-work state! 77 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,688 Hey guys, it's the DIY Funeral Guy 78 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:09,772 with my top 10 embalming hacks. 79 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,817 With a couple of common tools and some twist ties, 80 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,777 you can do most of the corpse prep right at home. 81 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,154 Come on, I ain't got all day. Do something. 82 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:17,363 Get on with it, boy! 83 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,115 Okay, now we want to make an incision 84 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:21,576 right under the belly button here. 85 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:22,827 You can see where I shave... 86 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:23,786 Aw! Ow! God damn it! 87 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,080 And, uh, you can see why draining the body 88 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,582 in the last step was so important. 89 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:30,627 Otherwise, you'd be covered in blood right now. 90 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,129 That's $20, that's $20, that's $20. 91 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:34,130 I'm gonna be rich! 92 00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,423 What in the hell?! 93 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:36,466 And that school counselor says to me, 94 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,594 "You're gonna end up diggin' ditches for a livin'." 95 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,095 My daddy said, "Don't you go gettin' his hopes up. 96 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,931 He ain't got the brains to go pro." 97 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:46,351 Well, Early, look what I found! 98 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,393 Damn it, woman, I told you not to dig near 99 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,313 those square rocks with the scribblings on them! 100 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,606 What in the hell, Daddy?! 101 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,483 I said one hole -- one! 102 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,526 You think you're making a goddamn golf course?! 103 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,236 What are these, fuckin' foxholes?! 104 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,573 I'm trying to run a business, not dig a fuckin' hole to China. 105 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,867 Well, you said $20 a hole, so I figured -- 106 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:03,826 You figured you'd just dig a half a million holes 107 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,371 and charge $20 million? 108 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:06,996 Uh, sounds good to me. 109 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,247 So, can I invoice that now? 110 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:12,001 We can fill holes, too, if you don't like 'em. 111 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,503 For a fair price, of course. 112 00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,088 Bitch, I'll fill this hole with your body 113 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:15,672 if you queer my negotiations! 114 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,090 $20, that's it. 115 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:20,301 Fill the rest back up. You heard him. 116 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,762 This is your damn deal. Awww. 117 00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:25,473 So, uh, who's done run off to meet his maker? 118 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:26,683 My asshole boss. 119 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:27,600 His funeral's gonna be in 45 minutes, 120 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,478 and I got no idea what the hell I'm doing! 121 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,816 Hand me that formaldehyde. 122 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,195 [ Burps ] Ah. 123 00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:42,031 Formaldehyde-hidee-hoo! 124 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,784 Alright, now, where's the body? 125 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,703 What in the hell? Right in front of you, Daddy. 126 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,371 Ooh, triplets. 127 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,872 What happened here? 128 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,541 Okay, you don't know what the hell you're doing. 129 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,668 I know exactly what I'm doing, okay? 130 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,294 People are just like animals. 131 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,047 Flesh, bones, teeth, tail, covered in hair, 132 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,508 multiple stomachs, spend most of their lives in the forest, 133 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:01,759 and only live about seven years. 134 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,261 Daddy, don't cut his foot off! 135 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,680 Oh, we got us a armchair undertaker? 136 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:06,723 Don't you remember that 10-point buck-cycle 137 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,933 I built for you? 138 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,601 I'm doin' it, Daddy, I'm doin' it! 139 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,895 Early: That's right, boy, hang on to those antler-bars. 140 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,189 Keep your feet on the clavicles, now! 141 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,359 And don't you remember that fancy gown I made for Granny? 142 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,404 Oh, it's beautiful! 143 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,697 Ahh! Ohh! 144 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:23,948 Cider vinegar, to "depungify" the stink. 145 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,659 Now you're ready for church. 146 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,786 I'm a sumbitchin' roadkill Rembrandt! 147 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,913 You just go on and show them folks where to sit. 148 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,248 I'll provide the show. 149 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:34,250 Now, let's get to work! 150 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,421 Whoo! We got 300 graves to fill! 151 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,883 Rusty: This here is my first eulogy. 152 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:42,675 I usually just dig the holes, 153 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,803 but I can tell by this crowd how much 154 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,722 Bubba was loved in this community. 155 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,724 Is that a joke, gravedigger? 156 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:53,311 How 'bout you stop vamping, 'cause it's not about you! 157 00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,437 Come on, Daddy, chop-chop! 158 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,481 They're gettin' restless out here! 159 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,608 [ Singing "Circle of Life" in Zulu ] 160 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:03,279 ♪♪ 161 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,822 Mele "Kamikilaka"! 162 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,909 That's Hawaiian for "Welcome to the great beyond!" 163 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:11,120 ♪♪ 164 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,288 Rusty: Oh, no. Whoo! 165 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,915 No, Daddy! Come on, y'all! 166 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:14,832 Everybody gets lei'd! [laid] 167 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,335 I can't believe it! I'm so sorry, everybody. 168 00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,170 I-I'll make this right, I promise. 169 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,798 Bubba always wanted to be the life of the party. 170 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,258 Yeah, I went full Parrot Head on Bubba. 171 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:27,804 And wait till you see this! 172 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:31,682 I hollowed out his pelvis and jammed a paint mixer up his ass. 173 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,683 What have you done? I love it. 174 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,977 It's so fun. 175 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,729 Now let's all head over to the gravesite 176 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:37,522 for a pig-pickin' luau. 177 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:41,651 Whoo! 178 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,778 Rest in pork, my friend. 179 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,405 May you rest in pork. 180 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,783 I am surprised to say this, but, hell, 181 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,993 I think we got us a business model here. 182 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,580 Suicide was always a tragedy. 183 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,791 But I was able to repurpose the noose 184 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,000 and flip the script on this. 185 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,546 He's filled with candy hearts that say the things in death 186 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,548 that he could never express in life. 187 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,007 No, no, no, don't eat that! 188 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,676 Muy malo! 189 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,347 Granny: Sign up for your Cuyler original! 190 00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:13,349 Sorry for your loss. No pushin'! 191 00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:14,475 Single file, please! 192 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:19,564 The one thing my husband truly loved was Auburn Football. 193 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,023 Oh, Auburn, huh? 194 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,735 We were hopin' maybe you could pay tribute to that. 195 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,029 So, you're pretty much fixed on Auburn, huh? 196 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:31,242 No, no. No, sir! Hell, no! 197 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,702 Point me to the loved ones. 198 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,620 No, no, just stop it Daddy. I'll talk to 'em. 199 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,664 Hey, folks, listen, I'm sorry, 200 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,917 but I don't think we can accommodate your kind here. 201 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:40,877 What? Wait. 202 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:41,961 What "kind" is that, Early? 203 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,588 I think we all know what I'm talkin' about, Glenn. 204 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:47,925 You know, she came all the way from Alabama on my referral. 205 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,136 I'm sorry, but he can't be buried at a Georgia graveyard. 206 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,180 The red Georgia clay will reject him. 207 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:55,016 It's red for a damn reason! 208 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,559 Georgia Bulldogs, baby! Sic 'em! 209 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,060 Woof, woof, woof, woof! Woof, woof! 210 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,354 But -- But I am sure my colleague can make an exception. 211 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,898 Ain't that right, Daddy? 212 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,859 If it was an inferior ACC team -- say, Georgia Tech 213 00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,403 or Wake Forest -- I'd do that out of sympathy. 214 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:08,237 But Auburn? I refuse! 215 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,489 Daddy, this is your job, 216 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,741 so unless you want me to fire your ass, 217 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,159 I suggest you do what I say. 218 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,410 Well, I suggest they take his Auburn-lovin' ass 219 00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:17,622 down the street to another establishment -- 220 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,832 one where they don't care who they mingle with! 221 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:20,541 Get out! Security! 222 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,585 Alright, Early, alright! Fine! 223 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,128 I would say, "Sorry for your loss," 224 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,254 but you're so damn used to losing to Georgia, 225 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,424 I'd be apologizin' you nonstop! 226 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:29,759 Come on. 227 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,969 I apologize, folks. I can prepare the body. 228 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:32,720 It's Auburn Tigers, right? 229 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,598 That's right. War damn eagle. 230 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,434 Wait -- Wait a minute, so, there's an eagle, too? 231 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:39,936 [ Telephone rings ] 232 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,188 Jiggle Hut. If you're callin' about a prostitute, 233 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,272 we don't do that anymore. 234 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,774 [ Chuckles ] Wink, wink. 235 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:48,027 Hey, Ellis. Uh, listen here, you still trafficking them, 236 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,112 uh, exotic animals and whatnot? 237 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,533 Officially, the petting zoo is closed due to lack of permit, 238 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,952 but we could still do "private events" 239 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,411 if the money is right. 240 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,830 Yeah, man, I got money. Let's talk turkey. 241 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,749 Oh, good, cause that's really all I have left, 242 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:02,792 mostly, is turkeys. [ Turkeys gobbling ] 243 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:06,379 Now, you ain't goin' over the state line, are ya? 244 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:07,880 Ma'am, I think we put together 245 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,466 a very moving tribute to your husband. 246 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,134 Yeah, it's movin' a lot, so, uh, let's pick up the pace. 247 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,387 He's smellin' the meat. Is -- 248 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,972 Are those live animals in there? 249 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,348 Yeah, but they're sedated. 250 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:18,975 Right, Ellis? Oh, yeah. 251 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,476 Heavily sedated. 252 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:21,852 Yeah, I ain't doing this. 253 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,980 Here, I highlighted the relevant passages. 254 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,732 You can just wing it. Nobody listens anyway. 255 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,150 Down! Down! 256 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:32,154 Uh, [Clears throat] will everyone please be seated? 257 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,991 We're gathered here today in the presence of God 258 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,575 to honor the life of -- [ Airhorn blows ] 259 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,411 How dare you invoke the name of God, 260 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,747 preparing a Auburn body for burial! 261 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,749 God hates Auburn! 262 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,917 Oh, Daddy, no! 263 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,836 Oh, hell, he's gone full Westboro. 264 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,631 Behold, the mark of the beast -- the "AU" on the helmet! 265 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,592 Folks, y'all don't listen to this! [ Airhorn blows ] 266 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,220 Apple CEO Tim Apple went to Auburn, 267 00:09:56,304 --> 00:10:00,349 and now we all have government tracking chips in our heads. 268 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,767 Daddy, keep it down, now. 269 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,686 You're rilin' up the tiger! Wait, hold up. 270 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,146 You got a living tiger? 271 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,023 Yeah, I couldn't scrape up an eagle in time, 272 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,526 but I think the wild turkey works. 273 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,153 Oh, God. 274 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:15,197 Thou shall not worship two mascots! 275 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,201 Oh, Lindsey! 276 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,120 Uh, I gotta jet. 277 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,830 Stay calm, everybody, stay calm! 278 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,248 They -- They can smell fear. 279 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,750 [ Growls ] 280 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,209 Please, Early, help! 281 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,711 Hell, no! Oh! 282 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:29,503 Get down, tiger! it's got my leg, Early! 283 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,131 Ha, ha, ha! Ya damn Auburn-lover! 284 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,174 Damn it, and I liked this job. 285 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:36,052 That's what you get when you take on the dawgs! 286 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,429 Sic 'em! Woof, woof, woof, woof! Woof, woof, woof, woof! 287 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:45,853 ♪♪ 288 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:55,237 ♪♪ 289 00:10:55,321 --> 00:11:01,369 ♪♪ 290 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,873 This one's made in Georgia. 21565

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.