Original subtitles

GEE, AUNT BEE, WHAT DOES

HE ALWAYS HAVE TO WEAR THIS FOR?

OPIE, WHEN PEOPLE COME TO THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO GET MARRIED,

THEY EXPECT HIM TO LOOK LIKE THIS.

IT MAKES FOR GOOD TALKING AFTERWARDS.

COME ALONG, ANDY.

[ DOORBELL BUZZING ]

HERE YOU ARE.

COMING! JUST A MINUTE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ SIGHS ]

HOWDY.

EVENING, MA'AM.

I'M SORRY TO BE SO LATE.

I, UH...I MEAN, SHE...

WE WANT TO GET MARRIED.

OH, ARE YOU SURE?

ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY SURE?

WE'RE DEAD SURE, MA'AM.

HERE'S THE LICENSE.

MM-HMM.

COME ALONG, THEN.

ANDY, THESE YOUNG PEOPLE WANT TO GET MARRIED.

EVENING, SHERIFF.

EVENING.

YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED, DO YOU?

WELL, THIS LICENSE...

JOSH... JOSH AND HANNAH.

WELL...

WELL, JUST JOIN HANDS, THEN.

NO, RIGHT HANDS.

BOTH RIGHT HANDS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

UH, AUNT BEE, YOU READY?

ALL READY.

[ "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS ]

DEARLY BELOVED,

WE ARE GATHERED TOGETHER HERE

IN THE SIGHT OF THIS COMPANY

TO JOIN TOGETHER THIS MAN AND WOMAN

IN HOLY MATRIMONY.

HANNAH! PA!

IF YOU'VE JUST BECOME THIS HERE FELLA'S WIFE,

YOU BETTER TAKE A LOOK AT HIM

'CAUSE JUST ABOUT A SECOND, YOU'RE GONNA BE HIS WIDOW.

PA! SHERIFF.

WELL, SOMEHOW I GET THE IMPRESSION

THAT YOU DON'T TAKE TOO FAVORABLE

TO THIS FINE-LOOKIN' YOUNG FELLA HERE FOR A SON-IN-LAW.

FAVORABLE? DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS FINE-LOOKIN', LOWDOWN,

SNEAKING VARMINT IS, SHERIFF?

SHERIFF!

IF YOU'VE SAID THE WORDS THAT HITCHED 'EM

YOU'D BETTER UP AND FIND SOME WORDS

TO UNHITCH 'EM RIGHT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST GET THE FEELIN'

THIS AIN'T A VERY POPULAR MARRIAGE HERE.

NOW LOOK HERE, MR. WAKEFIELD,

AS JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, IT'S MY DUTY...

WAKEFIELD AND CARTER!

GREAT JUMPING GOSH ALMIGHTY!

NOW I DON'T WANT NO FEUDING IN HERE.

I LOVE HER REAL BAD, PA.

LOVE HER?

I'M GONNA HIT YOU RIGHT IN THE MOUTH.

US WAKEFIELDS BEEN FEUDIN' THEM CARTERS FOR 87 YEARS.

YOU WANT TO GO MESSING IT UP NOW?

HANNAH, YOU FORGETTIN' YOU'RE A CARTER?

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

I'M TRYIN' TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE A NICE FAMILY.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYIN' TO DO.

YOU HUSH UP, HANNAH!

IT AIN'T THE DUTY OF THE CARTERS

TO BRING ANY MORE WAKEFIELDS INTO THIS WORLD.

IT'S OUR DUTY TO SEND AS MANY OF THEM AS WE CAN OUT OF IT.

NOW LET'S GIT.

SHERIFF, IT DON'T MATTER WHAT HER NAME IS--

WAKEFIELD OR CARTER.

WE'RE BOTH MORE THAN 18.

IT'S YOUR BOUND AND DUTY TO MARRY US

IF WE ASK YOU TO.

WELL, NOW THE BOY'S GOT HISSELF A POINT THERE...

BUT YOU ALL HAVE GOT A BETTER POINT.

COME ON.

COME ON.

WELL, THAT WAS A WHOLE LOT OF FUN.

I DECLARE, I BETTER GET OUT OF THIS OUTFIT.

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE DOPEY THE DWARF.

MORNIN', OPIE.

MORNIN', AUNT BEE.

I SAYS, UH--

I SAYS, MORNIN', OPIE, AND MORNIN', AUNT BEE.

WELL, NOW... BEING A SHERIFF,

WHICH IS A KIND OF A DETECTIVE,

LET ME SEE IF I CAN DEDUCE

WHY I'M GETTIN' THE COLD SHOULDER THIS MORNIN'.

NOW, YOU WAS FRIENDLY ENOUGH

'FORE WE WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT,

BUT YOU'RE MIGHTY UNFRIENDLY THIS MORNING.

SO IT MUST BE SOMETHIN' THAT HAPPENED

BETWEEN GOIN' TO BED AND GETTIN' UP, IS THAT RIGHT?

YOU LET THEM SCARE YOU, PA.

WHO?

OH, WAKEFIELD AND CARTER?

IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?

OH, ANDY, WHAT CAN A BODY THINK?

YOU LETTIN' THOSE STUBBORN OLD FOOLS

BLUFF YOU OUT OF MARRYING

THOSE TWO LOVIN' YOUNGSTERS.

IF THEY WANTED HITCHIN', THEN IT WAS UP TO YOU TO HITCH 'EM.

WHY DIDN'T YOU HITCH 'EM, PA?

WELL, I GUESS I COULD'VE HITCHED 'EM

BUT I JUST GOT TO STUDYIN'

WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN AFTER THE HITCHIN'.

HUH?

YOU SEE, THIS AIN'T THE FIRST TIME

THAT DESPISIN' FAMILIES HAD THEIR YOUNG 'UNS

TO TAKE TO ONE ANOTHER.

IT AIN'T?

NO. WHY, I GUESS ABOUT THE WORSE

THAT EVER HAPPENED WAS IN A TALE

THAT WAS WROTE A LONG TIME AGO

BY A FELLA NAMED WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

THAT LIVED OVER IN THE OLD COUNTRY.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THAT

EARLY THIS MORNIN', WOULD YOU?

YEAH!

YOU WOULD?

WELL, NOW, LET'S SEE

IF I CAN FIGURE HOW IT WENT.

NOW, LET'S SEE.

WELL, NOW, IT'S ABOUT--

IT'S ABOUT THIS BOY AND GIRL

NAMED ROMEO AND JULIET

THAT WAS IN LOVE OF ONE ANOTHER

JUST LIKE JOSH AND HANNAH,

ONLY THEIR DADDIES DIDN'T GET ALONG EITHER,

AND WHAT ROMEO USED TO DO TO SEE JULIET--

HE'D PUT ON A DISGUISE

AND GO ON OVER TO HER HOUSE

AND HE WAS OVER THERE THIS NIGHT.

HE WAS OVER THERE STANDIN' AROUND THE PUNCH BOWL

AND HAVIN' A GOOD TIME

AND HE SEEN--

HE SEEN JULIET COME DOWN THESE HIGH STEPS

AND HE WAS SO STRUCK BY HER

THAT HE GIVE A SOLILOQUY RIGHT THERE.

WHAT'S A SOLILOQUY, PA?

WELL, A SOLILOQUY IS WHERE YOU KIND OF LOOK

AWAY OFF AND KIND OF TALK TO YOURSELF.

OH.

THEY USED TO DO THAT A WHOLE LOT BACK THEN.

YOU DO IT TODAY

AND SOMEBODY'LL TAKE YOU AWAY.

BUT THAT'S WHAT HE WAS A-DOIN'

AND THIS FELLOW TYBALT,

A COUSIN OF JULIET'S,

COME UPON HIM WITH HIS SWORD DRAWED

READY TO PICK A FIGHT WITH HIM RIGHT THERE.

BUT JULIET'S DADDY, HE DIDN'T WANT NO BLOODSHED

RIGHT THERE IN HIS LIVING ROOM,

SO ALL HE DONE, HE RUN ROMEO OFF...

BUT ROMEO DIDN'T GO STRAIGHT HOME.

HE DIDN'T?

NO.

HE WENT OUT

AND HID IN THE YARD

AND AFTER WHILE, HE SEEN THIS LIGHT

COME ON OVER YONDER, AND HE SAYS--

HE SAYS, "HARK.

THEY SAID "HARK" A WHOLE LOT BACK THEN.

HE SAYS, "HARK, WHAT LIGHT BY YONDER WINDER SHINES?"

WELL, JULIET, SHE STEPPED OUT

ONTO THIS STOOP RIGHT THEN, AND S GIVE A SOLILOQUY,

AND SOMEWHERE IN IT SHE SAYS...

SHE SAYS, "ROMEO, ROMEO..."

SHE SAYS, "WHEREFORE ART THOU, ROMEO?"

WELL, HE POPPED UP AND SAYS, "I'M RIGHT HERE."

AND THAT'S WHERE THEY HAD

THAT BALCONY SCENE.

AND SHE GOT TO TALKIN' TO HIM.

SHE SAYS, UH, SHE SAYS, "HON..."

SHE SAYS, "HON, WHY--

"WHY DON'T YOU DENY YOUR DADDY

AND CHANGE YOUR NAME?"

AND HE ANSWERED HER RIGHT BACK.

HE SAYS, "YOU CAN CHANGE THE NAME OF A ROSE

BUT YOU CAN'T DO NOTHING ABOUT THE SMELL."

WELL, THEY DECIDED RIGHT THEN

THEY'D GET MARRIED

AND THEY WENT OVER TO FRIAR LAURENCE'S HOUSE.

HE WAS THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

IN THE TOWN IN THAT DAY.

WELL, HE MARRIED 'EM, AND HE TOLD ROMEO

THAT HE OUGHT TO GO OFF AND LAY LOW

TILL HE COULD EXPLAIN THINGS TO THEIR DADDIES

AND ROMEO DID-- HE WENT OFF.

AND BEFORE THAT FRIAR LAURENCE COULD DO THAT

WHY, JULIET'S MAMA TOOK A GREAT NOTION

THAT JULIET OUGHT TO GET MARRIED

TO THIS OTHER FELLOW AND KIND OF FORGET ABOUT ROMEO.

AND THEN JULIET WAS IN A BIND

AND SHE WENT OVER TO FRIAR LAURENCE,

AND HE MIXED HER UP A DRINK AND SHE DRUNK IT

AND IT PUT HER TO SLEEP

AND EVERYBODY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD.

OH, THEY HAD

THE PRETTIEST FUNERAL FOR HER--

PHEW, FOLKS CRYIN' AND CARRYIN' ON

AND THEY LAID HER OUT IN THIS FAMILY TOMB.

AND BEFORE FRIAR LAURENCE COULD GET WORD TO ROMEO

THAT SHE WASN'T REALLY DEAD, SOME OF THEM MEAN BOYS

THAT LIVED IN THAT TOWN TOLD HIM

THAT SHE WAS DEAD

AND ROMEO, HE FIGURED LIFE

DIDN'T HOLD NOTHIN' FOR HIM

AND HE WENT OUT AND HE GOT HIM

THIS BIG CAN OF LYE TO DRINK

AND HE WENT OVER THERE

TO WHERE JULIET WAS LAID OUT

AND HE KISSED HER.

LET ME TELL YOU

THAT BOY KISSED HER FLAT ON THE MOUTH.

HE SAYS, "WITH THIS KISS

I DIE."

AND HE DRUNK THE LYE

AND HE FELL OUT ACROSS HER THERE.

AND, UH, HE WAS-- HE WAS A BIG BOY FOR HIS AGE

AND THE IMPACT

OF HIM A-FALLIN' ON HER WOKE JULIET UP,

AND SHE WOKE UP AND SEEN ROMEO A-LAYIN' DEAD THERE

AND SHE TOOK HIS POCKETKNIFE

AND RUN IT INTO HERSELF

AND SHE EXPIRED.

AND, YOU SEE, THEIR DADDIES

COULD HAVE SAVED THEIRSELVES

THE EXPENSE OF A DOUBLE FUNERAL

IF THEY WOULD HAVE

JUST LET THEM HAD A CHEAP WEDDING.

YOU SEE, THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT

TILL IT WAS TOO LATE

AND SO BEFORE I MARRY THESE TWO YOUNG 'UNS

I WANNA BE SURE THAT EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT

WITH EVERYBODY ALL THE WAY AROUND.

NOW, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, DO YOU?

BOY, THAT ROMEO AND JULIET WOULD SURE MAKE A GOOD TV SHOW.

YEAH, I RECKON IT WOULD AT THAT.

Aunt Bee: WELL, IT BREAKS MY HEART

TO SEE THOSE TWO LOVIN' YOUNGSTERS KEPT APART.

YEAH.

I TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

IF I'D HAVE BEEN FRIAR LAURENCE,

I BELIEVE I'D HAVE DONE THINGS DIFFERENT.

HOW?

INSTEAD OF MARRYIN' THEM TWO YOUNG 'UNS

HOPIN' THAT THAT WOULD END THE FEUD

I BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE TRIED TO END

THE FEUD FIRST AND THEN A-MARRIED 'EM.

OF COURSE.

HOW YOU GOIN' TO DO IT, ANDY?

WELL, NOW, IF FRIAR LAURENCE HAD KNOWED

WHAT STARTED THE FEUD IN THE FIRST PLACE...

ANYHOW, I'S A-THINKIN' THAT'S SOMETHIN'

FRIAR ANDY OUGHT TO LOOK INTO AND RIGHT NOW.

ANDY, YOU HAVEN'T HAD YOUR BREAKFAST YET.

GOODBYE, GOODBYE.

PARTIN' IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

THAT I WOULD SAY GOODBYE TILL IT BE MORROW.

WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

WELL, THAT MEANS I'D LOVE

TO SET AND JAW WITH YOU A WHILE LONGER,

BUT I GOT TO BE A-MOVIN' ON.

[ GUNSHOTS ]

MR. WAKEFIELD!

HOWDY, SHERIFF.

ARE YOU DOIN' FEUDIN'-SHOOTIN'

OR HUNTIN'-SHOOTIN'?

FEUDIN'-SHOOTIN'.

WELL, NOW, YOU MUST HAVE A PAIR

OF MIGHTY SHARP EYES THERE.

I DON'T SEE NO CARTERS.

YOU DON'T?

NO, I DON'T.

I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.

PULL YA UP A CHAIR.

HAVE YA A DRINK OF WATER.

ALL RIGHT.

SORRY ABOUT PUTTIN' THE GUN ON YOU LAST NIGHT, SHERIFF,

BUT A FELLA'S GOT A RESPONSIBILITY

TO SEE THAT HIS YOUNG 'UNS IS BRUNG UP RIGHT, AIN'T HE?

OF COURSE, HE DOES.

DON'T WORRY A THING ABOUT IT.

AT TIMES A FELLA GETS MIGHTY DISCOURAGED.

YOU TRIES AND YOU TRIES TO TEACH 'EM RIGHT FROM WRONG

BUT THIS LATE GENERATION

JUST PLAIN AIN'T GOT NO RESPECT FOR THEIR ELDERS.

WELL, NOW, I DON'T KNOW, NOW.

MAYBE YOUR REASON FOR FEUDIN' WITH THE CARTERS

JUST DON'T SEEM STRONG ENOUGH TO YOUNG JOSH.

NO, IT AIN'T THAT.

HOW YOU KNOW IT AIN'T?

'CAUSE HE DON'T KNOW THE REASON.

HE DON'T? YOU MEAN, YOU AIN'T NEVER TOLD HIM?

NOPE.

WELL, HOW COME?

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW

THE REASON.

YOU MEAN YOUR PA NEVER DID TELL YOU?

NOPE.

WELL, WHY?

IT COULD BE 'CAUSE HE DIDN'T KNOW THE REASON NEITHER.

WELL, WHO WAS THE LAST WAKEFIELD THAT DID KNOW THE REASON?

WELL, MUST HAVE BEEN HIS GRANDPA.

WELL, THEN, HOW COME

HE DIDN'T PASS ALONG THE REASON?

WELL, IT COULD BE

THE TIME HIS YOUNG 'UN GOT OLD ENOUGH TO JOIN THE FEUDIN'

THAT MY GREAT-GRANDPA JUST CLEAR-LIKE FORGOT IT.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED.

NOW, DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

THAT YOU'VE BEEN A-CARRYIN' ON A FEUD FOR FOUR GENERATIONS

WITHOUT KNOWING WHY?

WHY NOT?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

IT JUST SEEMS TO ME

IF I WAS GONNA TAKE A SHOT AT A FELLA

IT'D PASS MY MIND TO ASK WHAT FOR.

I'LL BE DANGED IF I KNOW WHERE YOU YOUNG FOLKS

GET ALL THEM NEW-FANGLED IDEAS.

REASON, SHERIFF?

'COURSE I KNOW THE REASON I'M SHOOTIN' AT HIM.

WELL, HOW COME?

'CAUSE HE'S A WAKEFIELD.

WELL, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU?

WELL, IT MEANS I GOT TO SHOOT AT HIM.

WELL, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOOT AT HIM?

'CAUSE HE'S A WAKEFIELD.

WELL, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOOT

AT THE WAKEFIELDS?

'CAUSE WE'RE FEUDIN'.

WELL, WHY ARE YOU FEUDIN'?

'CAUSE HE'S A WAKEFIELD.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'RE UNDERSTANDIN' ME.

NOW, LET'S START ALL OVER AGAIN.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU'RE FEUDIN' WITH THE WAKEFIELDS.

OHH. 'CAUSE WE'RE SHOOTIN' AT EACH OTHER.

WHY ARE YOU SHOOTIN' AT EACH OTHER?

'CAUSE HE'S A WAKEFIELD.

OHH. OH.

'COURSE.

I'M BEGINNIN' TO SEE WHAT YOU WAS UP AGAINST, FRIAR LAURENCE.

WAIT A MINUTE!

JOSH, YOU AND HANNAH WAIT A MINUTE.

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

IT AIN'T GONNA DO YOU NO GOOD, SHERIFF.

YOU CAN DRAG US BACK

BUT WE JUST GONNA RUN OFF AGAIN.

ONE OF THESE DAYS WE'RE GONNA FIND US A MARRYIN' FELLA

WHO AIN'T AFRAID OF OUR PAS.

BUT DON'T YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA

IF YOU WAIT JUST A LITTLE WHILE

AND SEE IF I CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT ENDING THE FEUD?

NO. WAITIN'S DANGEROUS.

WELL, HOW'S IT DANGEROUS?

'CAUSE ONE OF THESE DAYS

WHEN A CARTER HURTS A WAKEFIELD OR A WAKEFIELD A CARTER,

THEN JOSH AND ME IS MAYBE GONNA FEEL

A LITTLE LESS LOVIN' FOR ONE ANOTHER.

IT DON'T SEEM TO HAVE STOPPED YOU YET.

THAT'S 'CAUSE IT AIN'T HAPPENED YET.

YOU MEAN...?

WELL, YEAH.

COME TO THINK OF IT, IN ALL THE TIME I'VE BEEN A-SHERIFFIN',

I CAN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE CASE

WHERE A WAKEFIELD OR A CARTER WAS DONE IN OR-- OR ANYTHING.

YEAH.

COME ON.

WHERE TO?

WELL, I JUST GOT A HUNCH.

AND IF FRIAR LAURENCE HAD A-HAD THAT SAME IDEA

WHY, ROMEO AND JULIET WOULD HAVE BEEN

A HAPPY MARRIED COUPLE RIGHT TODAY.

HUH?

COME ON.

Y'ALL FINDIN' ANYTHING?

THERE'S NOTHING HERE, SHERIFF.

HERE'S SOMETHING, SHERIFF.

WHAT IS IT?

SEPTEMBER 14, 1908,

JEDIDIAH WAKEFIELD ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL, WOUNDED.

WOUNDED? HOW?

BIT IN THE -- A CERTAIN PLACE.

WHO BIT HIM?

HIS MULE, EMMY.

GOOD. HUH?

WELL, JUST AS LONG AS IT WASN'T A CARTER

THAT SHOT HIM OR BIT HIM.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE, NOW?

NO.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW YOU ALL JUST LET FRIAR ANDY TAKE THE NEXT STEP.

AND IF THINGS WORK OUT THE WAY I THINK THEY WILL,

YOU TWO YOUNG 'UNS WILL BE MARRIED

QUICKER THAN YOU CAN SAY, "WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE."

YOUR DEPUTY TOLD ME TO COME UP HERE AND MEET YOU, SHERIFF.

WHAT'S UP, AND WHAT'S HE DOIN' HERE?

AIN'T YOU HEARD WE WAS FEUDIN'?

YEAH. THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT--

YOUR FEUD.

NOW I LOOKED UP THE RECORDS--

OLD SHERIFF'S RECORDS AND HOSPITAL RECORDS

AND SUCH AS THAT FOR THE PAST 87 YEARS,

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHAT?

THEY'RE AIN'T NEVER BEEN NARY A WAKEFIELD NOR A CARTER

THAT WAS SO MUCH AS EVEN HIT.

IT AIN'T BECAUSE WE WASN'T TRYING.

DANG WAKEFIELDS KEEP MOVIN' AROUND.

WELL, NOW I GOT STUDYING ABOUT THAT THING.

NOW YOU KNOW HOW FOLKS IN THESE PARTS FEEL

ABOUT THEIR FEUDIN'.

NOW WHAT IF IT WAS TO GET OUT THAT WE HAD A 87-YEAR-OLD FEUD

GOIN' ON HERE WITH NARY A KILLIN' TO SHOW FOR IT?

WHY, WE'D BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE STATE.

YEAH. NOW I BELIEVE-- I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN GET DONE

IN JUST A FEW MINUTES

WHAT YOU BOYS AIN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET DONE IN 87 YEARS.

ALL RIGHT?

NOW JUST STAND BACK-TO-BACK HERE LIKE THAT.

WHAT KIND OF FEUDIN'S THAT?

WELL, NOW, THAT'S THE WAY

THE FRENCH FOLKS USED TO SETTLE THEIR ARGUMENTS.

SEE, THE UMPIRE-- NOW, THAT'S ME;

I'LL BE THE UMPIRE--

WOULD COUNT OFF TO TEN, AND THE CONTESTANTS--

NOW THAT'LL BE YOU BOYS-- WOULD START WALKIN'.

AND WHEN I GET TO TEN, WHY, THE CONTESTANTS--

NOW, THAT'S YOU--

WHY, YOU SWING AROUND AND START A-POPPIN'

AT ONE ANOTHER, ALL RIGHT?

TEN, HUH?

THAT'S PRETTY FAR AWAY.

WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME A FELLA'D MISS AT THAT DISTANCE.

YEAH.

YEAH. THAT'S WHY I'M CHANGIN' IT TO A COUNT OF THREE.

THREE?! THREE?!

YEAH, NOW JUST LET ME GO OVER HERE AND CHECK YOUR ARMS

TO BE SURE THAT BOTH OF THEM'S ALL RIGHT.

WOULDN'T DO FOR ONE OF YOU TO GET A SHOT

AND THE OTHER ONE NOT GET ONE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH, THAT ONE'S IN GOOD SHAPE.

YEAH, MM-HMM.

YEAH, YOU ALL EACH, EACH HAVE A EQUAL CHANCE AT THIS THING.

YEAH, JUST NICE.

JUST NICE, ALL RIGHT?

GOOD LUCK NOW, FELLAS

AND, UH, GOODBYE.

I RECKON YOU ALL WILL SEE ONE ANOTHER

IN THAT GREAT FEUDIN' COUNTRY BEYOND.

READY?

ONE...

FELLAS, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WALK

WHEN I START COUNTIN'.

WELL, A FELLA'S LEGS GETS MIGHTY HEAVY.

YEAH. EVERYBODY KNOWS A FELLA GETS OUR AGE,

FIRST THING THAT GOES IS HIS LEGS.

WELL, IT'S JUST A SHORT WALK,

AND IT'S THE LAST TIME YOU'LL BE A-USIN' 'EM.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW HERE WE GO.

ONE...

TWO...

WAIT!

NOW WHAT IS IT THIS TIME, CARTER?

WELL, UH, THE RULES SAY A TEN STEP AND A TEN COUNT,

AND I THINK WE OUGHT TO STICK TO THE RULES.

WE DON'T WANT TO GO AGAINST THE LAW.

WE MIGHT GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT.

WE BETTER PLAY IT SAFE AND STICK TO THE TEN.

OR TO BE SURE, 20.

TO MAKE IT REAL SURE, 50.

WELL, NOW, FELLAS, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THE LAW,

SEEIN' AS HOW I'M THE LAW IN THESE PARTS.

WELL, I WOULDN'T CONCERN MYSELF TOO MUCH

WITH THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT EITHER

BECAUSE I GOT ME A FEELIN' THAT THE IMPACT OF THE BLAST

WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM EXTRA SEVEN STEPS.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW...

LET'S START RIGHT OFF IN STEP.

READY?

ONE...TWO...

HOLD IT! HOLD IT, SHERIFF!

I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

IF A BODY DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, HE'D GET THE FEELIN'

THAT YOU TWO FEUD-HAPPY FELLAS

WASN'T SO ALL-FIRED HOT ABOUT FEUDIN'.

NO, IT AIN'T THAT, SHERIFF.

I JUST HAD A THOUGHT.

THIS BEING ONE OF THEM FRENCHY AFFAIRS,

IT MIGHT BE FITTIN' IF YOU COUNTED IN FRENCH.

YEAH. AND IF'N YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO COUNT IN FRENCH,

WE'D OBLIGE YOU BY WAITING UNTIL YOU LEARN.

WELL, NOW, I APPRECIATE THAT,

BUT IT JUST HAPPENS THAT I LEARNED SOME FRENCH

WHEN I WAS OVER THERE DURING THE WAR.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW STEP RIGHT OFF.

READY?

UN...

DEUX...

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WE DON'T UNDERSTAND FRENCH.

NOW LOOKIE HERE...

IF YOU TWO FELLAS WANT TO CALL OFF THE FEUD, THAT'S FINE BY ME,

BUT IF IT'S GONNA BE A-FEUDIN', THERE BETTER BE SOME SHOOTIN'.

NOW WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?

ALL RIGHT, IT'LL BE A FEUD.

NOW THIS TIME, STEP OFF,

AND WHEN YOU TURN AROUND, GO TO SHOOTIN'.

YOU READY?

ONE...

TWO...

WHAT DO YOU RECKON YOUR YOUNG 'UNS WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

IF THEY'D A-SEEN YOU?

THEY'D A-THOUGHT YOU WAS COWARDS.

MIGHT EVEN CHANGE THEIR MINDS ABOUT WANTIN' TO GET MARRIED

BEIN' THE YOUNG 'UNS OF SUCH COWARDS.

IF THE WAKEFIELDS AND THE CARTERS ARE SUCH COWARDS,

MAYBE IT'S GOOD THEY DON'T GET MARRIED.

YEAH. IF WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE,

IF THE CARTERS' AND THE WAKEFIELDS' BLOOD

EVER GOT TOGETHER, THEY'D TURN OUT A COWARD

LIKE THIS WORLD AIN'T NEVER SEEN!

A COWARD'S COWARD.

I GOT A FEELIN' YOU MAY BE WRONG ABOUT THAT THING.

HOW'S THAT?

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

JOSH, YOU AND HANNAH COME ON OUT HERE.

JOSH, I BEEN TALKIN' AND TALKIN' TO HANNAH'S PA HERE,

BUT I AIN'T GOT NOWHERE WITH HIM.

HE STILL CLAIMS THAT IF YOU MARRY HANNAH,

WHY, HE'S GONNA FILL YOU FULL OF LEAD.

NOW, YOU GO AHEAD

AND TELL HIM WHAT YOUR ANSWER IS

AND LET'S GET THIS THING OVER WITH, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO AHEAD AND SHOOT NOW, MR. CARTER.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GONNA KEEP ME FROM MARRYING HANNAH.

AND YOU BETTER SHOOT ME, TOO, MR. WAKEFIELD,

'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY THING

THAT'S GONNA KEEP ME FROM BEIN' YOUR SON'S WIFE.

WELL, I WISH YOU'D LOOKIE YONDER.

JOSH, HE'S STANDING RIGHT UP

TO YOU THERE, MR. CARTER

AND HANNAH'S STANDING UP TO YOU, MR. WAKEFIELD.

NOW, IF THAT AIN'T COURAGE,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT COURAGE IS.

WHY, YOU MIX THESE TWO FINE BLOODS TOGETHER HERE,

AND YOU TWO OLD BUZZARDS ARE LIABLE

TO GET YOU A GRANDSON THAT CAN'T BE NOTHING

IN THIS WORLD BUT A NATURAL-BORN HERO.

WHY, YES, SIR.

WHY, YOU LET THESE TWO YOUNG 'UNS...

NOW WHAT IS IT?

YOU JUST STOP THE BLABBERING, SHERIFF,

AND GET ON WITH THE MARRYIN'.

FELLAS, PLEASE.

BUT WE WANT IT DONE RIGHT.

BUT IT'S BROAD DAYLIGHT.

THAT DON'T MATTER.

WE'RE GONNA SEE THAT THAT LITTLE HERO GETS A RIGHT START

RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING.

BUT --

[ "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS ]

[ WHISTLING SPRIGHTLY TUNE ]