Original subtitles

I've always wanted to make movies, ever since I was a kid,

when my dad took me to see the matinee on Saturday afternoons

and we'd watch the movie at least three times.

I dreamed of seeing my name up there one day. Not as an actor,

I wanted to be like Flaiano, Scarpelli, Zavattini, Tonino Guerra

Pasolini, the ones who made cultured, refined Italian cinema...

Real cinema...

Hey, what are you doing? We're working, get outa here!

Move it! - Sorry.

Alfredo, my friend... I read it, you know,

but we're not there yet. We're back at square one.

No! It's well-written, with every comma in the right place,

but it's a total tragedy, you know, a bunch of sad

ugly losers. That's no good. - But you told me

you wanted something real, relevant, that reflects our times.

Right, but your idea of relevant and my idea of relevant

are light years apart. My relevant is the audience's.

Understand, Alfredo?! I don't do introspective films,

I don't do exposés, I'm not looking for the next Pasolini,

the next Antonioni. That stuff is old hat...

Outdated, obsolete, it's not relevant, get it?

Alfredo, I'm looking for stuff that

sells tickets, understand? Movies everybody goes to see.

No? Alfredo, you're a writer, where do you live? Where?

These days, people want fun, sex, action.

Something morbid, risqué, hot. They want beauty...

wealth, perversion... You know, a peep through the keyhole

at other people's lives, especially if they're successful.

Today everyone wants to be seen, to be on television.

They're all beautiful, perfect, upstanding, polite.

People want to see them naked, scandalous.

They want them unmasked, get it?! Unmasked!

Well, I don't really know those worlds, but I studied Bergman, Visconti,

Eisenstein, Dziga Vertov, neorealism, new wave.

What do I care about new wave? I don't!

How can I tell you, in what language? Like I said, people want fun,

indiscretions, we all have a secret life.

Look around, start spying on the people who count, okay?

I don't know, take, for example Violetta and Max Cohen.

Everyone envies and admires them. Take them as an example.

Investigate, dig, elaborate.

Bring me something thrilling, amaze me.

Yes sir, you're right, I'll do as you say.

I'm such a loser,

Nothing goes right for me, my wife even dumped me

for the plumber. One day I opened the door

and she had her bags packed. She told me she was tired

of living with a penniless loser and she wanted a rich man.

Sure, with what I make as a free-lance writer

even a cleaning lady makes more than I do...

like my mother says.

- That's good luck! Damn it... - See that?

We're even! Gross.

Just when I have to go see my mother.

When are you gonna get a job?

- Sorry... - Sorry?!

You could've given me some satisfaction, if you'd been a plumber.

But no.

Mom, you don't understand. I'm about to get rich.

Now that I'm making films. - Films, what films?

Do you ever look at yourself? Or not?!

If it weren't for me...

Just this once, help me out.

I swear I'll pay you back, every euro. - You can't even find a nice girl.

No. A nice girl, some satisfaction... Because you're a moron, a nitwit, inept,

you're an idiot! Yeah, that's what you are!

This is what people buy. They're hungry for other people's success.

For vices and scandals, and I'm gonna give them what they want!

Finally I'll be somebody, too. I'll have dignity,

respect, money... and women.

But look what I have to do.

If they want this garbage, so be it.

I'll show them.

- Thank you. - You're welcome. Thank you!

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

The Cohens are the people everyone wants to be.

She can burn through bundles of money.

In one day, she spends what I earn in a year.

Can she even wear everything she buys?

Now what. He's coming, he's coming.

The husband, Max Cohen, inherited a fortune, but he's in the wrong business.

- Good morning, Mr. Cohen. - Good morning, Elisa.

Elisa, you need to be more careful. I already told you.

Order is a sign of efficiency, clear thinking, situations under control.

I expect excellence from you, if you want to work for me.

Don't let it happen again. - Sorry, Mr. Cohen, I'm so embarrassed.

It won't happen again. Here! Your schedule for today.

Just tell me, sweetheart.

At 11, meeting with Confindustria. At 13, the minister of foreign affairs.

At 15, Monsignor Martinez at the Vatican and at 17, the foundation at your bank.

They're waiting in the conference room. The president is already here.

My mother is already here? How is she?

Fine! I mean, same as usual.

Good morning, good morning, good morning.

- Hi. - Hi, chickie-poo.

We were waiting for you for the family council.

Mom, please don't call me chickie-poo, it's inappropriate, okay?

I'm your mother and I'll call you whatever I want. Sit down.

All right, mom. So, Franco, can we get started?

Of course, Max.

The main thing today is to make investment decisions.

Your mother and I agreed to invest

company profits in a diversified way. About one third

in an Australian company for renewable energy.

The one with the submarine propellers that use deep currents to make electricity?

- Yes, that one.. - Yeah, great, I like that one.

Another third in a real estate fund that invests in luxury residences

for the elderly, in European cities. I told you about it.

I remember it perfectly. There's still a lot of liquidity to reinvest, right?

I'd take advantage of lowered stock prices, what do you think?

I thought it over. I asked Francesco, our asset manager in Milan,

to send me a list of sustainable stocks. They're convinced these will

do better than the market, and they're usually right.

Sustainable stocks. Sounds like a great idea.

The Wolf of Wall Street.

Okay, fine. Give me the papers to sign.

- Here you are. - Thank you.

You too, Max, please.

Thanks, mom.

- Folks, I'll be on my way. Take care, see you soon. - Thanks, Franco.

Franco, as always, thanks. See you soon.

So mom, how are you?

I feel useless.

I don't care about anything, I don't like anything, and I'm very sad.

And you? Are you still with that floozy?

You couldn't even give me a grandchild in all these years.

Mom, please, let it go. We love you.

No, never mind. You're a naughty boy.

Go away. Go.

She's an ex-dancer and every day she trains with her teacher.

One of her husband's businesses is an art gallery,

his passion, which his wife shares. It shows

famous artists, and is directed by his best friend.

Hi, Violetta.

No, I'd say everything's fine. We have a great life, very stimulating.

Hey, you don't have to convince me, I know you.

Something's been off with you for awhile now.

Well, things can't always be scintillating, can they?

- What did you buy? - I bought a purse from the Milanese,

then I got some earrings from Mattioli,

cashmere from that boutique, some sportswear,

a pen for Max, and look:

Do you like these? - They're gorgeous, but you must have 200 pairs.

- Know what that is? Compulsive shopping. - What am I supposed to do?

He doesn't want me to work, he checks up on me all the time...

Lucky you, with your job, your success...

and a husband that leaves you space. - Tommy is barely there.

he only thinks about his artists. - Okay, but you have a wonderful daughter.

Who only thinks about her appearance, her sexual identity.

She's always at war with me, she doesn't want to do anything.

And she always needs money. - But she's so sweet.

Is she still dancing?

Not exactly.

Well, she still gives your life some meaning.

- Sometimes I feel so useless. - I get it, darling, but it's not true.

Listen, I've met an extraordinary psychoanalyst.

He's a bit weird, but really brilliant. A character.

By the way, it's all the rage now.

Maybe he could help you. - I wouldn't dream of it.

I don't believe in psychoanalysis. There are people who go for twenty years

and they're worse than ever.

You have to tell your business to someone.

Sorry, but I have a wonderful life, a man who adores me.

Well, here's his number, you never know.

Sorry.

Hello?

He's already there?

I'll be right over.

Darling, sorry, but I have to run.

By the way, he's going to be a pundit on our new program.

"Hidden Sexuality". - Wow.

Think about it, okay? Bye.

Bye, darling. - Okay.

They're about to launch a new program on Next TV,

"Hidden Sexuality" - and you are going to be a commentator.

But who is Dr. Hammer? Above all, can you explain to us

the origins of your surname?

Well, I'm Roman, but my grandmother was Neapolitan

and she had a sense of hospitality, like all Neapolitans. And so,

she decided to give an extra warm welcome to a charming American,

Lieutenant Jack Hammer.

As handsome and dashing as Sidney Poitier.

And so, my father was born.

You are famous for your method, the Hammer Method.

Could you tell us who inspired you?

Freud, Jung, Lacan...

Nobody.

I invented it.

My patients actually

find the answers by themselves.

I put them in a position to be free and light, and find the answer within.

Obviously, I have my little secrets.

What everyone is looking for is already within them: their happiness,

the freedom to be something else. - Me, too.

- Hello, Cohen Group. - Elisa, I need you to do me a favor.

Call Dr. Hammer and make an appointment for me. It's urgent.

Don't forget. - Yes, Mrs. Cohen, right away.

Thank you.

I did everything they thought I should do.

I was very good, I stuck with my husband,

stayed at his side... I never cheated on him, never.

I worked with him.

I dressed the way he wanted.

And I saw the people he wanted me to see.

I even raised our son the way he wanted.

I have no regrets.

I think I was a terrific mother and a terrific wife.

Then I found out that

he was cheating on me.

Oh my god! He cheated right and left and spent all his money on his hussies.

But when I found out, I took away

his credit card and told him to go you-know-where.

I always dreamed of being a showgirl.

Wearing feathers and rhinestones, dancing all night... how wonderful.

Singing, dressing up like Lady Gaga.

"I wanna be free. I wanna be free."

"I wanna be free. I wanna be free."

Very good! Ever thought about being on television?

I wish!

Good evening, everyone. I'm very honored to have been named

director of this channel that I saw launched.

And I'm very glad that women are getting more and more space on television.

I'm convinced that women have an edge, compared to their male colleagues.

But what matters, regardless of gender,

is passion, the desire to make a difference.

It's with great passion that I present our new show,

hosted by the great Emadeus.

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to Next Drag Race.

A talent show featuring guest drag queens and drag kings,

or bio queens. What are bio queens? You dummies!

They are women who adopt the style of drag queens,

who will entertain our audience from home with their creativity and originality.

Obviously, there are secret judges who will reward competitors

for their talent, for their extravagance, for their uniqueness.

Yes, because all of you at home are unique.

See you soon, on Next TV!

"Free the brothels. Free the brothels from abuses."

"From abuses generated by suffocating customs, by prudery."

"Next time."

"I want to sing"

"of all your ideas about a world going bad."

"I want to love"

"without more feuders, or colluders in a deadly pact."

"Free the brothels. Free the brothels, from abuses."

"Oh yeah, Next!"

Tommy, Violetta, Max, let's get some photos, come here.

Sure, let's do it. Come on.

Max, yeah! Get in here.

Smile!

Great! Thanks, guys.

Let's go get a drink.

- I'm so happy for you, great job! - You saw, it's been rough, huh!

Thanks for coming.

Thanks, thank you so much.

- Enjoy this moment. - It's about time.

For you lovely ladies.

- Thank you. - And congratulations!

What's up, did I say something wrong?

- Did you see that? - Did I see what?

The way they looked at each other.

- Isn't he nice! - And he's all yours.

Hold on, Max. I'm telling you as a friend, you need a therapist.

If you want, I can suggest a good one. You know, there's nothing wrong with

getting help. I go, neurosis is going around. Everyone's neurotic these days.

What do you mean, neurosis, get help, a good one?

Don't you worry, I can take care of myself.

Take it easy. I'll handle this.

Your attention please, I'd like to propose a toast

to my wife, Rebecca.

Max.

And to her new job here at Next TV.

Thanks.

Well, shall we go? - Why?

We took pictures, we drank a toast. Can we go? Say goodnight. Bye.

- Bye, Violetta. - Bye.

Looks like the situation is getting worse.

He's becoming pathologically jealous.

Not like you, only thinking about your artists. And Max.

What's it got to do with me, you're the one who's never home

and only thinks about her job.

Where's Chiara? She could have deigned to come tonight.

Chiara told me it's her boyfriend's birthday tonight. She couldn't come.

- Right. You always defend her. - And you're always nagging her.

That was definitely a big success for Rebecca. She looks better than ever!

Well, she's had a few touch-ups, we all have.

Max, what would you say if I went to work, too?

I could open a school... dance, yoga, Pilates.

My woman doesn't work, she never will. Besides, with all the money you spend!

Wouldn't you be ashamed to take work away from someone who needs it,

nowadays...? - Okay, fine. No job, no kids

but what am I, your babydoll, your toy? I'm fed up!

I even bought you a dog. I spent a boatload of money on that fur ball.

He just glares at me. He hates me, you know, he growls at me.

And his breath stinks! - Are you jealous of my dog!?

And you're in no position to complain.

- Why is that? - Because.

- I saw the way you looked at him, I did! - At who?

There were a hundred people there, Max, you're sick. You're crazy.

- I can't stand it! You know what? - What?

I'm gonna cheat on you!

- You know what else? - What else?

If you cheat on me, I'll kill you! Ow, let go of my hair!

Where are you going, Violetta, come here! Where are you going?

What are you doing??

- I'm not going home with you. - Get down here right now.

- No. - Get down.

No, go to a shrink, go to an exorcist, go to a wizard, but stay away from me.

I'm coming up there.

Now you'll learn.

I'm not falling for it.

Max. Max.

Max? Darling?

- You fell for it! - You asshole!

- What are you gonna do? - Cheat on you!

- Say that again! - I'm gonna cheat on you.

- Again! - I'm gonna cheat on you!

- Again. Say it again! - I'm gonna cheat on you!

- Oh, god! - I'm gonna cheat on you!

I'm gonna cheat, cheat, cheat on you!

Beautiful, rich, and they're even in love.

I'm so tired.

What a long day. - Interminable.

- Hi. - Hi.

You could've made the effort to come tonight.

I had a thing.

The world doesn't revolve around you.

Don't you dare talk to me like that!

- What a drag. - What a shitty character!

Wonder where she got it.

I'm going to bed.

What happened this time? Tell me.

Francesco dumped me. He told me that

now he's with Lucio too, and he's not that interested in me anymore.

Just wait, when he realizes what he's lost

he'll come back, and maybe it'll be too late.

Don't you realize how beautiful you are?

But he doesn't want me anymore because I'm a girl, understand?

Dad, why are men all such assholes?

Well, women aren't that much better.

Your dad's here, and I love you. Your mom loves you, too.

Dad, I wanna be a guy, like you.

Listen, we're all very tired.

How about we all get a good night's sleep,

and we'll talk about it tomorrow.

I really love fighting with you.

You can't just make peace like that.

Unless...

You're such a jerk.

There, that's it.

Last one upstairs is a rotten egg!

I don't understand. What in your twisted mind gives you those ideas?

Well? What's wrong now?

- I'm not stupid. - Oh no, not again!

I'm too tired to argue. Let's go to sleep.

You're lucky I'm tired, too. We'll talk about it tomorrow.

You better make it up to me.

Help, help! No, stop!

Help!

Help!

Giobedia! Giobedia! Giobedia!

- What's going on? What happened? - Oh, god!

I was dreaming that they locked me in an asylum

And all these ugly, crazy people were looking down at me.

Oh, god!

No, no, no. A little tune-up not an asylum.

There's a conspiracy against me! I'm fine, I'm fine!

Go to sleep, I'll deal with you tomorrow.

Pat! Pat! Please open the door! Open up! I know how you feel, open up. Come on!

Hurry! He might be dead!

Then what's the rush?

Hurry, open the door!

Patrice! Patrice! Where are you? Oh, my god, he's dead.

Oh, my god, what have you done?!

Artists. What a bunch of degenerates.

Andrea, those olives were delicious! I made a big impression, thanks to you.

Hi!

Alberta, you're looking pretty!

Oops, sorry. Good morning.

Franco! How's it going?

What've you got for me?

Today I saved you a fabulous piece of veal.

Just for you. - Don't trim the fat off, though.

The lady knows her meat.

- Hey, need a hand? - No, thanks.

Young man, if you help me carry this home I'll give you a nice tip.

- Sure, whatever you want. - Good.

Just let me get this.

Let's go.

Hold on. Here, this is for you.

You hungry? Yesterday I made a veal stew that's out of this world.

It's my speciality. Why don't you come to my place

and tell me a little about yourself, then maybe

we'll come up with some ideas to find you work.

Yeah, I'm hungry, but I don't want to trouble nice lady.

It's no trouble at all. Come on.

- Hi Max, how are you? - Hi.

- Got any news for me? - Oh, yes I do.

I found you a very tasty morsel.

You sure?

That last one was a little scrawny.

Trust me. And it looks like he's also well-equipped.

I'll send you a photo.

Holy sh-- not bad at all!

When do you want to meet him?

Doctor, I'm really worried about my little girl.

I know sexual orientation is complicated.

But I don't understand a thing anymore, you gotta help me.

Hetero, fluid, cisgender, transgender,

privileged cis, lucky him.

Transgender, intersexual, crossgender, ionisgender,

the non-binary queer athlete.

And then... there's the asexual.

Someone who's crazy about you, but he'd never think of jumping you.

The a-romantic,

who doesn't feel romantic attraction to others.

The greysexual, who wakes up one morning gay,

and wakes up the next day straight.

Like my daughter, you know?

What's my little girl going to become.

"Wonderful stories."

"Wonderful stories. Oh, yeah."

Tell me, whatever possessed you to think of hanging yourself?

Sorry, but don't I matter to you at all?

No, it's not that. I don't matter to myself.

I'm a failure, I'm a loser.

The art world doesn't want me, it ignores me, as if I was already dead.

No, it's like I never existed. And now I'm old, what do I do?

What do you mean, old? Stop that!

If this country doesn't appreciate you, we'll change countries!

Yeah, right. Where will we go? Nobody wants me anymore.

Oh, stop whining.

We'll go to Italy, to Rome. My hometown.

I've got a dear friend who can help us. - All right, let's go see her.

Answer it later. Right now you're with me.

- But it's Davide. - So what?

- Now what is it? - I don't want to go.

Why? We decided together. We always go to Norma's.

Why, doctor's orders? We're not going to Norma's anymore. I don't like her.

It's not about her. Come on, let's go. Don't make me mad.

We always do what you want. You have to make it up to me.

Don't do that, it turns me on.

No luck, she's not answering.

She's dancing, shopping, having a massage, at the beautician's or the movies,

or volunteering for some charity. Anyway, she'll help us.

Forced to flee my homeland like a refugee.

Insulted by my own country.

- Who's there? - For fuckssake.

Who do you think it is, Norma? Open the door.

Come in! Nice to see you again.

- How are you? - Fine, fine. You?

Just fine. You're looking lovely, Violetta!

- How's it going? - Good.

I can't wait for you to meet him.

He's already here?

This one is pumped. Yes, yes, yes!

Now go in there and get him worked up.

- You listening? - No, I'm not. I'm fed up.

That's not true, you always enjoy our little game.

It's your little game and I'm sick of it. Watch it, Max, you're pushing me away.

Don't say that. You're forgetting about our complicity,

our eroticism.

You and me, we're one.

Then you go do it this time.

That's enough. Shut up and do as I say.

Go on, I know what you like.

Hi!

My name Ivan.

And your name? - Bella.

Yes, you beautiful.

Bella, I just told you.

Bella, like "Belle de Jour", in Buñuel's film.

Huh?

Everything's looking good.

Shall I leave the monitor on?

Again? I absolutely do not want to see my wife with in bed with another man.

But you're always asking me to find one!

You refuse to understand. I'm not interested in watching, okay?

I'm interested in

our fantasies, her fantasies.

What do you know about fantasies,

eroticism. You only think about money.

Oh!

How dare you treat me like a stupid twit.

Anyway, you're always here, even if I don't understand eroticism.

Do you mind leaving me alone?

I studied this profession, okay? Read all the erotic literature.

"The Story of O", "Philosophy in the Bedroom", Bataille's "Eroticism",

"The Eleven Thousand Rods"! Was it eleven thousand?

- Eleven thousand, yeah. - Okay, and I always keep up with porn.

You hear me? Always!

Because I am a professional.

Would you just get out!

We have to have sex.

Enough! Me paid to have sex.

- How much? - €500.

I'll give you another €500 and you pretend we had sex, okay?

One pays to have sex and the other pays not to have sex?

I'll give you €700 and that's the end of it.

I no understand. I come from different country.

I saw war.

But you Italians strange people.

Don't understand. Where I end up?

I've never seen such a wonderful pair of tits.

She's the woman of my dreams!

She's even singing my name.

I can hear you shrieking all the way in here!

I don't shriek, I sing, to back up my cover story.

You want to get my business shut down?!

You call this a business?

I'm a sex entrepreneur, my business is never in a slump.

What is that stench?

That's my famous veal stew.

Ugh! Close the door! If the smell gets in there, everything'll go limp.

- Come on. - Limp my ass, onion's an aphrodisiac.

No, onion stinks to high heaven!

You really are a...

What are you? - A boor.

- You're a boor! - Beat it.

Boor.

Yeah, boor. I'm a boor.

"The underworld..."

"There was the underworld..." - Good morning.

- "But no, it's not that now." - Excuse me.

"There was the underworld..."

"in my Rome,"

"in my Rome."

Sorry, I just wanted to know, can ask you a question?

I know nothing and I say nothing.

My motto is: God bless those who mind their own business.

Anyone ever tell you, you have a beautiful voice?

You should be on a talent show.

So,

she says she's an ex-singer who gives private lessons.

Now and then they go.

They go?

- They go up. - They go up?

Yeah, people go upstairs,

and she says they're rehearsing.

- Sounds like a chorus. - A chorus?

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

"There was the underworld..."

- Thanks. - I said €700, that's it.

But I don't get it. Why you here if you don't do sex.

It's my husband, he brings me here.

He only likes to make love to me after I sleep with someone else.

Oh, now I get it.

- Your husband like men. - Yeah, right.

Come on, help me.

After what I paid you, come on!

But...

You come often? Husband often bring you here?

He does now. He didn't used to.

He liked me to tell him I'd been with three men.

You were with three men?

But then the stories weren't enough for him.

So he started to organize situations.

Then I found Norma, to bring in men.

Woman with giant tits that pay me.

Fucking hell.

God, you were fantastic.

Where you go?

Hey, what I do?

Hello, I'm delivering flowers.

It's open.

What the...?

Oh, how lovely. They must be from one of my students.

- You teach? - Yes, singing and piano.

- Really? I'm a music lover. - How wonderful!

- Please, please come in. - What a beautiful home.

- Something smells wonderful... - Yes, my veal stew with potatoes,

I make it for my cli-- for my friends.

Lucky them.

You must be a great cook, as well as a beautiful woman.

Well...

I live alone, you know...

- You do? - Yes.

So, a bouquet of flowers cheers me up.

- How come? - Because my poor husband died.

- I'm sorry. - That's all right.

Such a beautiful women, all alone.

So maybe, who knows, I could see you again?

I could take some lessons.

What a great idea!

Listen, let me give you my business card.

Here you are.

But now you must go, because I'm expecting a student.

My, but he's cute.

- Luca. - Come in.

What do you mean, your prepaid card is out of money?

Mom, I told you, the trip to Venice costs €500.

I paid for that three days ago.

No, that was for the tennis course.

Fine, I'll make the transfer. What time are you coming home?

Don't you remember? I'm staying at Giulia's tonight, we have to study.

All right. Bye.

Claudia, how did you view your own body?

Badly, because I was completely disconnected. My head told me one thing

but my body was actually something else.

So, a woman in a male body.

Yes, a woman trapped in a male body.

Have you transitioned?

Yes, I started, but I haven't finished.

How do you experience your sexuality?

It's crazy.

- So, it's good. - Very good, everything's changed.

We're not much for definitions, we don't want to confine anyone,

but if you had to define yourself, what would you say?

Enough with definitions, I've put up with them my whole life.

At this point in my life,

I'm aware of the fact that there are no definitions,

it's not fair and it's not right, in my opinion.

Have you been judged, or do you feel judged?

I have been judged, but I don't feel it anymore.

Do women judge more than men? Or men more than women?

- Definitely men. - What do men do?

What do they do? What do men ask of you?

They ask me for the same thing they ask of all women.

But then they actually

show other men that they're thinking of another woman.

Great.

This is the message of our program: modernity, truth,

openness to the changing world, without prejudice or hypocrisy.

Inclusive TV that embraces change.

- Here you are. - Thank you.

What if they don't want me?

Listen, Violetta promised me that she'll help us.

I get it. She'll help us. But what if she doesn't like me?

Listen, either you stop whining or I'm gonna leave you here

and disappear. You'll never find me again.

You could never do that. You know how much I love you?

Here you go, here you go, here you go, sweetie!

How is it? It's good! It's so good!

I think so. Anyway, I'll try. When do you get here?

I'm so glad. You don't know how much I missed you!

I'll be waiting. Bye!

- Who was that? - Davide.

He's coming to see us, with his boyfriend.

Oh, so you'll see each other.

But they're... I don't have to worry, do I?

No, you don't have to worry. They're...

Davide's my best friend. We've known each other since we were kids.

He's also a great art critic.

You should be honored to meet him.

- I added up our expenses. - Oh no, my daily torture...

Lipstick, €30.

Books, €52. That short dress, €5,000, black leather purse, €15,000,

high heels, €150, very high heels, €750.

For a total of €21,874.

That's not including €60 that you spent who knows how.

How should I know?

Make an effort, maybe you'll remember.

I told you I don't remember.

Maybe you spent it on a phone card.

For what?

Maybe for a cell phone that I don't know about.

To call some person that I don't know.

- Like who? - Like that guy from the other night.

No, look, I can't take it anymore.

So €15,000 for a bag is fine, then you torture me about €60?

Yes, it's the little things that make the difference.

I've always told you, spend as much as you want,

but write it down, write it all down.

- Okay, write down €700. - Okay, €700. What for?

I gave it to my mother.

- You never see each other. - Well, I saw her.

She asked you for money? Even though she doesn't need it?

She's my mother.

And the €60?

Answer the telephone.

Tommy, how are you?

Great, sure, sure. Sounds great.

Okay, see you. Bye.

We'll talk about that €60 tonight.

The show is up. Are you coming to see it?

Of course, I can't wait.

Listen, darling. I have to ask you for a big, big thing.

Who knows why, but I think I know.

I'll meet you there.

I love you so much. - Love you, too.

My little donut!

- The show looks great. - You like it?

- Very much. - Really?

- Yeah. - I'm really glad.

Listen Max, no offence, but...

I wanted to talk to you about someone. Don't get mad.

Why should I get mad? Is it one of your proteges you want us to show?

You always decide. - No, no.

His name is Pasquale Hammer.

Pasquale Hammer...

Hammer, never heard of him...

He's very good, everyone sees him.

His office is nearby. I see him, too.

Maybe one day I'll take you there, what do you say?

Yeah, okay. Sure.

Oh, Max...

your mother-in-law is here.

I know, I know.

- I suspect she came to ask you something. - I'm sure of it.

Good luck.

Bad Mapplethorpe imitation.

Can I introduce you to a great artist?

He's showing in New York soon, and then at ArtBasel.

Your new boyfriend, I suppose.

He has a lot of talent, he's very good,

very promising.

I'll talk to Tommy about him later.

I'll call you. But right now I have to run.

I know you'll do it. You're such a dear.

It doesn't only depend on me,

you know. - You know I only bring you

very special people. And remember, treat my little girl well,

because lately she seems a little sad.

Sad? She has a wonderful life. She has everything she wants.

Bye.

She always has to remind me it's thanks to her I met Violetta!

That's why she always has a favor to ask.

- Mom, what are you doing here? - I just saw your husband.

Let's go get coffee.

Okay, who is it this time, and how old is he?

Honey, he's an artist, and he's very cute.

Mom, you hook up with these boys, and you pay them, but you don't understand

they're only with you for the money. - Oh, so what.

By the way, you're looking a bit frumpy, you should pamper yourself,

get your hair done, put on some makeup.

Mom, I'm not like you. Appearances aren't everything to me.

Honey, only superficial people don't judge appearances.

Mom, life isn't always just a stage.

Yet everyone wants to be on it.

- He's a brilliant international artist. - He's Davide's boyfriend, come on.

So what, his work is wonderful and it sells like crazy.

He gets snubbed a bit by the critics and galleries,

but they can be obnoxious.

- Will you assume responsibility? - I assume responsibility.

In return, you do me a favor. We go to Norma's without complaining,

and above all, without saying any of those awful words

that give me that nightmare. Don't make me think about it.

- No, please. - Yes.

- No, come on. - Yes.

- No. - Yes.

Let's go, come on.

Let's toast. To your first show here!

No, no. No toasting. It's bad luck to do it before, then it all blows up.

- Is he always like this? - Nothing's going to blow up.

Boy, you and and positive thinking are total strangers.

Well, Max has plenty of flaws.

But when he says something, it gets done.

I don't believe it till I see it.

- Are you coming to see Patrice's work? - She won't like it.

Each to his own cross.

Girls, girls!

Here comes Norma with her wonderful veal stew. Hurrah!

Norma's stew!

Yum!

It's boiling hot, we have to wait.

Now we have to wait?

Why, are you hungry?

- What? - But sweetie, we should all be on a diet.

On a diet.

It's so hot!

Norma, you're a great cook. Someone's gonna marry you, you'll see.

Yeah... nobody wants someone like me.

They're all worse sluts than we are, but they all settle down in the end.

Yeah, who knows why...

- Let's toast to Norma. - A toast.

- To Norma ! - Thank you, dear friends.

Will you sing us one of your adorable songs?

- Which one? - Oh, you know.

- But which one? - That one!

- The warhorse? Okay. - Yes!

- Thank you! - I'll do it, I'll sing my warhorse.

- Ready? - Yes!

"Our men gallop in on horseback."

"Our men gallop in, led by the General."

"The noble Pancho"

"rushes in,"

"losing his hat in the whirlwind!"

Whee!

"Our men gallop in from the mountains out West."

"Boom! Boom!"

"They come from the North, the South, the East and the Far West."

"The spectators clink their glasses."

"They jump to their feet, clapping their hands!"

"Boom! Boom!"

- Brava! - Thank you!

Sir, I took your suggestions into account.

You saw what I sent you, right?

Well, I read it, of course I did.

No, no, you're on the right track. Path, let's say...

something like a tortuous mountain path.

Let me cut to the chase. You went down an alley,

a blind alley.

Is there anything good in it? I did what you told me the last time.

Did you understand what I told you the last time? Because, reading it,

I felt such melancholy, such anguish...

everything just went limp, you know? Even my pecker. Sorry.

How can I tell you, in what language do I have to tell you?

People today want to laugh, to dream, escape, fantasize

talk, act, kiss, tell, read the testament...

What the fuck did I say? Sorry.

You get it, right? Frivolous stuff. The dumber it is, the more we like it.

Alfredo, you're...

an intellectual. You should have lived in a different era.

I was trying not to be banal, to be deep, but superficial,

melancholy and merry, sad but upbeat, a bit Frank Capra and a bit Billy Wilder.

Alfredo...

Why that face, that dull, sad face?

I want you to be more sunny, more badass.

Understand?! Come on, go for it!

I get it now. Thanks for the encouragement.

I can do this.

Listen, Alfredo, can I ask you a question?

Sorry, but... when's the last time you got laid?

There it is...

You touch yourself a lot, I can tell.

Show me your hand.

Aha... a rut.

Too much masturbation...

and not just mental.

Listen, you got a girlfriend?

Not really, not since my wife left me.

See how it all makes sense, Alfredo?

Can I give you some advice?

No offence. Find a hooker.

Everything will get better.

Alfredo, you're like the son I never had. I love you, you know?

Come on, go home, concentrate, think, focus.

Bring me something amazing, blow me away!

And get laid.

Shtup!

"There was the underworld..."

"There was the underworld..."

"There was the underworld,"

"but Rome isn't like that now."

"There was the underworld, in my Rome."

- So just like the other time? - Good. You learned.

Like the other time.

Norma, you know I like to be alone.

Yes, but I have to tell you something important.

- You brought a stool? - Yes, I have to look you in the eye.

If you ask me, those two in there aren't doing anything.

- What do you mean? - I mean, they're faking all that moaning.

- Why? - To fuck with you.

Don't bullshit me!

- My wife would never betray me. - But if it was true,

you'd be more cheated on than the cheaters.

Oh, come on!

- Come on! - You come on!

And then, the rocking horse?

See that?

Were you happy today?

Yes.

- Stop, stop! - Okay.

You know I don't like running.

I know.

I was saying, me and Tommy are like brother and sister now.

We only have Chiara in common, with all her problems.

For the rest, he has his life, I have mine.

Don't you miss being in love?

I've always put my career first, and I'm succeeding.

There'll be time for that, too.

Meanwhile, I let myself have a little fun.

Why don't you do that? It might do you good.

No, what are you saying?

Beauty is as beauty does, so use it or lose it!

How come you're still with Max?

I love him... I think.

That's fine, but...

I worry about you, you seem so sad, depressed.

No, it's like I told you.

Everything's fine. Things are fine, like I said.

Sorry.

I knew something was wrong.

Don't worry, I'm here for you.

You need help.

Who the hell is that? A thief, a dognapper, a trans dogsitter?

Come on!

Right now?

Good morning. Do you have an appointment?

I never knew my father.

My mother, instead, is a big movie star.

We don't have a great relationship, it's pretty superficial.

She always looks perfect, always beautiful.

And then...

When she sees me, she always says,

"Hi, how do I look?"

There's only her.

Me, me, me.

I, on the other hand...

Everything's great with my husband.

We're one.

Before him, I had all kinds of experiences.

With men, women,

animals...

No, maybe not with animals.

Young lady. Everything's fine.

Every couple has its own equilibrium.

Continue to be co-conspirators

and everything will be fine.

So, what do I have to do?

"Don't worry enjoy yourself."

"Don't worry, enjoy yourself."

"Don't worry, enjoy yourself."

Got it?

Woo!

Hi, mom.

Chiara, what are you doing here?

I came with Petunia, I know they're looking for people.

This is Petunia, my girlfriend.

Hello, Chiara's mom.

Damn, you're hot!

Let's get out of here, now that you've met.

So long, baby.

Nobody fucks with me.

Well, good night.

It was a wonderful evening.

May I see you upstairs? For a nightcap?

Let's do it another time, all right?

- Sure. - It's just...

They're stunning,

but they won't fit, through the door or the window.

We're not at MOMA.

No, no no, this is impossible. I only make large-scale works.

I don't make smaller ones. - Okay, fine.

Take it easy, don't worry, we'll find a solution.

He doesn't make smaller work...

Davide, I understand he doesn't make smaller ones,

but we this is my gallery, I can't make it bigger.

All right, I'll talk to him, don't worry.

We must find a solution!

What do you say? You look doubtful.

Well yeah, Max, of course I'm doubtful.

This is a continuous gallery, I can't take an artist like him, come on!

i don't want to complicate your life, just do Violetta this favor.

I'm preparing a one-man show for another artist.

His prices are sky-high, we're showing him at Art Basel Miami.

- But he's really talented. - Yeah...

Find a way, you know how much I want to make Violetta happy, come on.

The usual problems with Violetta.

- Why are women so complicated? - How should I know?

You know, these things don't happen between us.

Everything is simpler between us.

I can't say you're wrong.

Please take a seat.

Thank you.

Mind telling me where you brought me?

Don't worry, now I'm going to introduce you to Dr. Hammer.

He's a genius with minor cases like yours. He's used to real crazies.

Minor cases, real crazies?

I told you I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy! But you

bring me to a shrink? Now I get this from you?!

Are you crazy?

He's actually the crazy one!

Is he dead? Now what do we do?

He's not dead, it was just a little tap.

He'll calm down and he won't even remember how he got here.

Don't worry, I'll handle this.

But...

What is this method, doctor? Sorry...

Why, it's the Hammer Method. What a question.

Mama.

Mama.

Any questions, I'm at your disposal. Here's my telephone number.

Interesting case. He may get worse.

I'll be ready.

Ah, hi Max.

- Why'd we have to meet here? - I want to make a bet.

I'll bet you €20,000 those two aren't doing anything.

Meaning what?

Meaning we get them in a trap. They go into the bedroom,

and when the moaning peaks we throw open the door

and see what they're really doing.

What does that mean?

What does that mean? Max, come on!

Think about it.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's things that are imprecise.

I want things to be perfect.

And people should keep their word, especially when I'm paying.

That's great, isn't it?

It's all wrong! Look at the lighting!

It should be slanted 2 or 3 degrees more,

then everything would look better. It's too dark, too dark!

What's that about?

- Darling, perfection doesn't exist. It's beautiful. - No, that's not true.

Yeah?

I'll show you who wins that bet.

- Where the hell is your artist? - I don't know.

Oh, you don't know. You shouldn't have left him alone!

- You try to put up with him. - Really?

Yes, really.

- Where's Violetta? - Don't you start now.

I'll go look for her.

Here we are, here we are.

Sweetie, isn't this a gorgeous show?

The next one will be yours. It'll be a smash hit.

Then we'll have a proper celebration.

I'll celebrate you right now, babe.

Well, shall we go?

- But we just got here. - We've got better things to do.

- No one will notice. - No, come on.

- Oh, phooey! - Don't argue.

Yes!

- Well, are you ready? - Ready? I was born ready.

- Tonight, we celebrate. - Celebrate? What do we celebrate?

That we're done here.

But I like working with you.

My husband and Norma are setting a trap for us.

And I want them to find out the truth.

Truth?

Let me explain.

Pour me a glass to toast my victory.

Don't even think about it. I wouldn't be so sure, if I were you.

Let's see if I'm as stupid as you think.

You better go get that €20,000, in cash.

You too, dear. Go on.

Dear, dear dear.

What are they doing?

Torture.

Torture and delight!

Torture and delight!

What was that? What was it?

Are you crazy? Get rid of that gun.

Don't you dare call me crazy, understand?

If you're right, I'm gonna kill them both.

It would mean Violetta betrayed me.

Show me otherwise, prove me wrong!

- Please get rid of that gun! - Open the door!

- Open the door! - Okay, I'll open it.

I'll open it.

My love...

- Close the door, don't disturb them. - Excuse us.

Violetta would never betray me.

Cough up that €20,000.

All right.

19...

20.

Good girl.

Violetta would never betray me.

- Alfredo! - Mama.

Why are you lying there, stiff as a stupid board?

Huh? You almost killed yourself.

Get a job.

Writer, my foot. I'm not giving you another cent.

You fool!

I don't understand a thing.

Will you pour me some, too?

- Hey, where are you going? - I'm leaving.

You managed to ruin everything.

What do you mean? I didn't do anything.

We always do what you want.

Then you don't understand. Give me those keys.

You're not going anywhere, understand?

Give me the keys, now!

Have you lost your mind? Careful, it's loaded.

Ow! Ouch!

Come here, you're just stressed out.

You drank too much.

- Did you fall in love with him? - Huh?

Did you fall in love with that guy?

You... you are a bully, a caveman,

you're, you're... a brainless psychopath.

A paranoid despot, a tyrant!

You've got a tiny dick and you're ugly!

Ugly?

Darling! Darling, wait for me!

- Stay away! - Why'd you say 'ugly'?

- You bastard! - Wait!

- You ape! - I thought you liked it, too!

Come here! Come here!

I love you, and I know you love me, too.

I don't love you. You're dead to me.

Dead! Dead! Take that!

You fucker!

Fucking hell.

- What's going on? - Doctor, my wife killed me.

You sound more alive than dead.

I'm not dead! She shot at me and left!

She said I'm dead to her! Understand?

She killed me, she left me. Doctor, I'm gonna kill myself.

Again? Weren't you already dead?

Hang on, I'll be right there. Give me the address.

Via Pomponazzi 16. Watch out, the intercom is hidden behind

a bougainvillea that was just damaged. Be careful, thanks.

I really blew it.

She broke free, understand?

I miss her so much.

My little donut.

My love, my treasure.

The light of my eyes.

That slut! after everything I've done for her,

all the money I spent to get her that shitty dog!

Not to mention that €60 she spent on god knows what.

Did someone knock?

"You are crying when she's gone."

Little donut...

The more I know about men, the more I love dogs.

Like Madame De Sévigné said.

Well, it seems to me you still like men.

Well, sure! Sexuality doesn't just end when we mature.

You're just not a slave to men anymore.

I like them young. I know why they go out with me.

I'm no fool.

Yeah, but... love?

Oh, love...

I suffered too much for love. Men always treated me like a trophy,

because I was beautiful, because I was famous.

You're still beautiful, mom.

It's a bit like how Max sees me.

Like a trinket in his collection.

When I introduced you to Max, I hoped he would protect you.

You were so much in love...

But men want to control everything

and they blackmail you with the power of money.

You were his father's lover, right?

Let's just say, he contributed to our well-being.

Please don't tell me...

is Max my brother?

What a terrible thing to say about your mother, I'm not that wicked!

I wasn't a traditional mother.

But you have always been the most important person to me.

Mama.

You're sure Max is not my brother?

- What is it? I said no calls! - Sir, I'm sorry.

- The financial police are here. - What?

What the fuck...

I'll be right there.

Elisa, what now, what is it? Can't you have them wait?

I'm sorry, sir, but your mother's here, too.

- And, well, I didn't know... - Hi, chickie-poo, how are you?

Mama, what the fuck are you doing?

Darling, at last I am a free woman.

I can do what I want. Tonight, I'm going out with my friends

and celebrating gay pride! Cool, huh?

Sir, they're waiting in the conference room. I called Dr. Sottile.

Mama, why?

But, he didn't even say goodbye...

I don't understand it all, but it seems so compelling,

almost like an American series, with all that intrigue.

And I really like the character Aida.

She's a bit like me.

But why did you have her run an underground casino

with all those girls in private rooms?

My love,

you're a pure soul. Audiences want sex, blood,

high society, perversion, low-lifes, Chinese mafia, Russian mafia

kissing, telling, testimony, snobbery, stuff like that.

The main characters are a kind of a CIA agent,

who discovers the secret trafficking of an unscrupulous businessman

who owns an underground dive where he prostitutes underage girls.

And his wife, who's actually a spy paid by the Russian secret service.

And then...

- And then? - Um...

And then...

I never did any of those things I told Max.

It's just that he liked hearing it.

So I did some research.

I read books, magazines...

I looked online. YouPorn... Big.

I even joined a chat.

I called myself Hot Pink Potato.

I learned all about it.

I did everything for her, all of it.

But that's how women are: the more you do for them, the more they cheat.

She put a hex on me, too! Everything's going wrong.

I feel awful. I'm sick. Doctor, I'm so sick!

Listen. You're not sick at all.

You've simply neglected something fundamental.

Are you absolutely sure your wife agreed?

Of course she agreed.

Sometimes she protested, but only to make things more interesting, more spicy,

more esciting. She did it for me. Understand?

So it's not that you...

didn't really listen to her?

Whose side are you on? Have you been talking to her?

But I pay you! Oh, come on, Doctor!

What are those, original casts?

That's all your stuff?

Yes. Afro-american.

I'm so scared! Little Donut! Where are you?

Bitch.

Bitch.

Bitch!

Dammit!

- Bitch! - Who you calling a bitch, asshole!

I didn't mean you.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's our newest competitor on

Next Drag Race: Ivan!

Wow. Not bad at all.

Magnificent.

Take a good look. Extraordinarily handsome.

- Yeah. - Yes.

A modern-day divinity.

Well, it's clear you don't care about me anymore.

Why don't you get together with that modern-day divinity?

You're right. I don't give a damn about you, okay?

Because you're a modern-day pain in the ass.

Goodbye. - Davie! Where are you going?!

- Care for anything else? - Sure, why not.

- That man is really mean. - He treated me very badly, didn't he?

You don't deserve that.

Hey.

She's a very nice girl, isn't she?

What a fairytale! Like the Crespelli and the Rainiers of Monaco.

You're so romantic.

Do you think I'll get married someday?

Yes, sweetie. Prince Charming will come for you, too.

- Really? - Yes.

See that? He took my advice and married a hooker.

They're the best.

- Aren't you that famous producer? - I sure am.

- Because I'm an actress. - An actress, good for you.

- Can I give you my phone number? - Yes, of course. What is it?

It's easy: 333 69 69 77.

333 69 69 77.

- I'll call you soon. - Okay, great.

All rise.

Alfredo and Norma, I now declare you husband and wife.

Long live the newlyweds! Hurrah!

Shall we bury the hatchet?

After all, we shared the same man. A real rascal.

But, an adorable rascal.

You're right.

- Can we see each other now and then? - Oh, why not!

Of course, Rebecca had to end up with a shrink.

What do you care? Listen, if you don't toe the line, I'll kill you.

Oh, here's that €60 you loaned me.

- Today's the most beautiful day of my life. - Darling!

The second most beautiful day of my life.

- You're so beautiful. - I know.

Good evening, everyone. I am very pleased to present,

here in Rome's prestigious House of Cinema,

the latest project I had the honor of producing

for Italian cinema.

The film you are about to see resulted from a collaboration between Next TV

and the great producer, Alex X, who is here with us.

I'm happy to see so many faces here tonight.

As you know, I really wanted to make this film.

Alfredo is my great discovery.

A man, an artist, a sensitive director of a thousand nuances.

I saw his talent at once, his maturity, his acumen, his intuition.

Do, say, kiss, tell, testify.

As you know, I have always preferred auteur films.

My reference points have been the great Antonioni, Visconti, Bergman,

Fellini and so forth and so on. Neorealism, British angry young men,

the Soviet avant-garde... But above all!

The French New Wave.

Alfredo has embodied all of these with great skill.

I can never thank him enough. Thank you, Alfredo.

Thanks, with all my heart.

And now, enjoy the film! Thank you...