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[Crowing]
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[Screeches]
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Tyrannis: Huh.
4
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Did it work?
5
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It worked!
The growth stone worked!
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Tyrannis: I'm just
the right amount taller!
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Not off-puttingly giant,
just what girls call
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00:00:23,246 --> 00:00:24,516
a respectable height!
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Up top, similar size man!
I can reach!
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00:00:26,821 --> 00:00:28,089
We should hang out!
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Tyrannis: Stupe,
the stone you gave me--
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Ohhhh.
-[Laughter]
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Tyrannis: Hold on.
Did you undress me
14
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while I was sleeping
and put a smaller toga
15
00:00:36,139 --> 00:00:38,376
on my helpless nude body?
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Well played!
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00:00:39,846 --> 00:00:41,115
[Laughter]
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Deliria: Remind me what you
call this hilarious
19
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public destruction
of someone's ego?
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Stupendous: A prank.
Took me a while
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to get the hang of it 'cause
usually I destroy an ego
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by destroying the head,
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but turns out I like prank wars
almost as much as a regular war.
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Tyrannis: And now we're even.
Stupendous: Are we?
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00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:57,982
There was the prank where
you painted a plate of food
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00:00:58,082 --> 00:00:59,452
on the table and I ate it...
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Tyrannis: Which was repayment
for the crown lice.
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00:01:01,422 --> 00:01:03,661
Stupendous: Which was
repayment for when you said
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if my hand was bigger
than my face it meant
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I had plague,
and then it turned out
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there was plague on my hand.
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That was a good one.
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Tyrannis: One way or
another I need to
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call a prank truce.
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I have a big day.
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Stupendous: OK, fine,
I'll "agree to a truce."
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Tyrannis: Can you agree
without subtext?
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Shlub: Morning, all.
Have I told you
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what I want done
with my body if I die?
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Tyrannis: OK. What angry madam
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at what weirdly
specialized brothel
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has a bounty on you now?
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Shlub: Son, I never pay
for sex except as a bit,
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and the starfish
at the starfish brothel
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have so much fun,
they keep trying to pay me!
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No, I'm just on my way
to King Minos' bash
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on the Isle of Crete.
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Hippocampus: "Min-os"?
Tyrannis: Yeah, I thought
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it was pronounced "Mine-os."
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Deliria: Divorced men.
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No one parties harder or sadder.
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Minos' party will have all sorts
of risky amusements,
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not just his famous Minotaur.
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Tyrannis: Oh, right,
there you go.
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There's also a piranha jacuzzi,
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00:01:52,559 --> 00:01:55,096
crossbow line dancing, which
is like normal line dancing,
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but if you mess up,
they shoot you.
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Hippocampus: Why would you want
to go to a party like that?!
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Deliria: The same reason
people black-out drink.
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00:02:01,409 --> 00:02:03,146
Nothing's more fun
than almost dying.
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00:02:03,279 --> 00:02:05,250
Shlub: And on the off chance
I overshoot the "almost,"
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I'd like my body to be ground up
and put in a big lasagna.
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All righty then!
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You're just
gonna let him do this?
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Sounds like his life
is gonna be in danger!
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00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,374
Ugh. Once you've made
the mistake of investing
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emotionally in a mortal,
you have to give up
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00:02:19,412 --> 00:02:22,150
on distinguishing between levels
of theoretical risk.
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Anything short of
"he is currently dying" looks
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00:02:24,455 --> 00:02:26,026
more or less the same to me.
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At any rate,
I'm very busy today.
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I'm getting a sandwich.
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Lunch dragon!
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[Roars]
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Hippocampus: Well,
one of us has to go with Dad.
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He can't party like
he's 4,000 years old anymore.
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Tyrannis: I feel you,
and yet, I am also busy.
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Stupendous: Gotta go clear
things up with everybody
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who thought you
got magically tall?
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Tyrannis: Among other things!
Hence the prank truce!
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Stupendous: And I'm
on alert because
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the "prank truce"
is definitely a prank.
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Hippocampus: Great, so it's
on me to pretend I want
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to go to this
reckless-idiot festival
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and keep Dad from partying
to death.
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You're both welcome!
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Stupendous: Nobody
thought you got tall.
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Tyrannis: Except me, Stupe!
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Except me.
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Men: ♪ Huh ♪
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♪ Huh huh ♪
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♪ Huh huh huh ♪
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♪ Whoo! ♪
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[Dance music playing]
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[Men grunting]
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Hippocampus: Wow.
This seems less like a party
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00:03:34,362 --> 00:03:35,497
and more like a bunch of guys
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endangering themselves
for no reason.
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00:03:37,502 --> 00:03:40,240
Shlub: Well the snake-taunting
booth isn't for everyone,
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00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,477
but I'm sure we can find
something you'd like.
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There's quicksand races...
Partier: Whoo! Yeah!
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Shlub: A blind guy
just swinging a sword
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around in an enclosed area...
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Server: Blowfish meat?
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We didn't prepare
it correctly.
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Shlub: Oooh!
Sounds delicious!
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Hippocampus: Dad! No!
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I-I mean Won't we catch a buzz
faster if we drink
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on an empty stomach?
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Shlub: Good looking out, son.
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Should I procure us some
dangerous libations?
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Hippocampus:
Let me get the drinks!
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Why don't you hang
out here and try...
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[Cheering]
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Aah! Unh!
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Whoo-hoo! Hee hee!
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00:04:15,879 --> 00:04:18,951
Hippocampus: sitting next
to this quiet, calm man?
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Ooh. What could he be hiding?
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Hi, I'm Marc.
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00:04:22,291 --> 00:04:23,660
I'm a grown man
who gives his cats
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ironic "people" names like
"Greg" and "Meghan."
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Hippocampus: Ooh, scary!
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Sit here and talk
to scary Marc!
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Marc: My best friend is my aunt.
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00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:35,685
Hippocampus: Two waters, please.
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So are you a fish with legs
or a man with a fish head?
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Hippocampus: Uh, what?
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00:04:39,993 --> 00:04:41,295
Sorry. Where are my manners.
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00:04:41,395 --> 00:04:42,765
Well, I'll tell you where.
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My wife got 'em in the divorce.
I'm King Minos.
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00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:47,108
Hippocampus: Oh, so this
is your divorce party,
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and you pronounce it "Mean-os"!
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00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:50,313
Minos: Yeah,
but don't worry about Minos.
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00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:52,050
I get to be the good guy.
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00:04:52,151 --> 00:04:54,021
She was seeing a bull
behind my back,
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00:04:54,155 --> 00:04:56,025
which I only found out
when "our" kid
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came out half-bull.
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00:04:57,228 --> 00:04:58,463
You believe that?
139
00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:00,501
I mean, what does a bull have
that I don't?
140
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,772
It doesn't matter,
I'm over it.
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00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:04,341
Hippocampus: Well,
I gotta go find my dad.
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Minos: Thing is,
somehow I got custody
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of this Minotaur!
144
00:05:07,314 --> 00:05:09,619
Do not let your
racquetball partner
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00:05:09,753 --> 00:05:10,855
be your lawyer.
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00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:12,391
He was like, "Oh, I can
handle that for you."
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Well, he didn't.
Hippocampus: Right, right.
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00:05:14,395 --> 00:05:15,632
Sounds tough, man.
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00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,100
Well, good luck with everything.
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00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:18,571
I'll be thinking of you--
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Minos: And I gotta keep it
appeased by feeding it
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00:05:20,307 --> 00:05:22,612
virgins, which are super
hard to find, especially
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on this island
since there's really only
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00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:27,856
one thing to do here, you know,
the nasty, knockin' boots,
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00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:31,395
the horizontal tango,
the vertical sexual tango...
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Hippocampus: I get it,
having sex.
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Minos: If you wanna be crass.
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Anyway, it's hard to find
a virgin,
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and it's basically the only
thing this Minotaur will eat.
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Incredibly picky,
but do you see me complaining?
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No! That was my wife's job.
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Marc: Aah!
Hippocampus: What was that?
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What's going on?!
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Marc: I spent my whole
life staying a virgin
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in the service of the kingdom,
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00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:51,903
but then along came your dad!
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00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:54,241
Hippocampus: Oh, no. You slept
with a virgin sacrifice?!
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00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:56,112
Dad, you weren't
supposed to do that.
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00:05:56,212 --> 00:05:57,381
Shlub: Well you should've
told me.
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00:05:57,481 --> 00:05:58,951
It would have made it
even hotter!
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Minos: You spoiled my virgin?!
172
00:06:00,721 --> 00:06:02,224
Shlub: Oh, I spoiled
him all right.
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It turns out Marc
is quite the charmer.
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Marc, tell him about the cats.
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00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,672
[Stupendous whistling]
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Scott: Oh, hey, Stupendous.
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00:06:12,578 --> 00:06:14,481
Just polishing Ty's throne
for his big day.
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Stupendous: I see that.
What's in the other bucket?
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Is that glue?
Scott: Yeah.
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I was just doing
some gluing earlier.
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It's really strong glue.
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Stupendous: Interesting.
Scott: Is it?!
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00:06:24,235 --> 00:06:25,436
That's good to know.
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00:06:25,504 --> 00:06:27,274
I need more
conversation starters.
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00:06:27,408 --> 00:06:28,677
I've been trying to date more--
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00:06:28,777 --> 00:06:30,514
Stupendous: What did
Ty have you gluing?
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00:06:30,614 --> 00:06:32,619
Let me guess. My battle axes
to their mounts on the wall?
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00:06:32,719 --> 00:06:34,689
No, no. A dead goat to my bed?
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00:06:34,823 --> 00:06:37,060
Oh, maybe himself to my ceiling
190
00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:38,931
so he can pretend
he's a ghost and haunt me?
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00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:41,168
Scott: I don't know what
you're talking about.
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00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:42,605
Stupendous: Oh, I bet you don't.
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00:06:42,705 --> 00:06:45,377
You know what, Scott?
You do too much around here.
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00:06:45,545 --> 00:06:47,381
Why don't you let
me take over?
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00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:51,222
Scott: Really?! It's so nice
to be appreciated!
196
00:06:51,322 --> 00:06:52,959
Stupendous: Tee hee hee hee hee!
197
00:06:53,059 --> 00:06:55,129
Hey, Ty! Get in here!
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00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:56,566
Tyrannis: Oh, wow!
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00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,671
Stupendous: I felt bad
about how I didn't take
200
00:06:58,804 --> 00:07:01,910
your big day seriously,
so I polished your throne up
201
00:07:02,011 --> 00:07:03,480
real nice for you.
202
00:07:03,547 --> 00:07:05,450
Can you sit in it real fast
so I can make sure
203
00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:06,987
I got the shine level right?
204
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,958
Tyrannis: Aw, thank you, Stupe!
That is so nice of you!
205
00:07:09,058 --> 00:07:11,061
Stupendous: You should lean
back so the sunlight
206
00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:12,331
glints off your eyes.
207
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:14,234
Tyrannis: Well, OK. Like this?
208
00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:16,339
Stupendous: OK.
You can hop off now.
209
00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:17,742
[Tyrannis grunting]
210
00:07:17,842 --> 00:07:19,746
Ha ha ha! Or maybe you can't
211
00:07:19,846 --> 00:07:22,451
'cause you got glued to your
throne with your own glue!
212
00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:23,854
Ha ha ha!
213
00:07:23,954 --> 00:07:25,290
Tyrannis: What?!
Are you kidding me?
214
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,693
What about the truce?!
215
00:07:26,793 --> 00:07:28,597
Stupendous: Oh, yeah,
I guess this glue was to
216
00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:30,602
make truce decorations!
217
00:07:30,702 --> 00:07:32,470
You thought I'd fall for that?
218
00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:34,275
You gotta try something
a little more convincing
219
00:07:34,408 --> 00:07:35,812
than "I have a big day."
220
00:07:35,912 --> 00:07:37,181
Tyrannis: But I do have
a big day!
221
00:07:37,281 --> 00:07:38,684
I'm hosting a peace talk!
222
00:07:38,784 --> 00:07:41,488
I can't be glued to my throne!
-Why didn't you say that?
223
00:07:41,589 --> 00:07:42,959
Tyrannis: Because I knew
you wouldn't want to be
224
00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:44,462
involved in a peace treaty,
but guess what.
225
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:46,065
Now you have to be.
226
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:47,434
[Knock on door]
227
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,837
You agreed to
a truce and didn't honor it,
228
00:07:49,004 --> 00:07:50,508
and now you have to help
me not look like an idiot!
229
00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:52,377
Stupendous: Well, that's
not gonna be easy.
230
00:07:52,444 --> 00:07:54,348
[Knocking]
Tyrannis: Just get the door!
231
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:56,419
Hippocampus: What if we
found you a new virgin?
232
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,590
I saw a playground nearby.
233
00:07:58,724 --> 00:07:59,993
What?!
Minos: No.
234
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:02,464
You take my virgin,
you face my Minotaur.
235
00:08:02,599 --> 00:08:03,767
Shlub: Oooooh!
236
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,136
Hippocampus: But neither
of us is a virgin!
237
00:08:05,269 --> 00:08:06,907
Minos: He can choke you down.
Shlub: Oooooooh!
238
00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:08,476
Minos: Tell the Minotaur
he's eating
239
00:08:08,644 --> 00:08:10,180
fish sticks for dinner!
240
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,315
[Cheering]
241
00:08:11,415 --> 00:08:12,651
Shlub: Whoo!
242
00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:14,321
Hippocampus:
Why are you whooing?
243
00:08:14,454 --> 00:08:16,091
He's talking about me!
244
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,494
Shlub: I'm so proud of you.
245
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:19,365
The fish sticks are my son!
246
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:20,868
Hippocampus:
I'm gonna get us out of this.
247
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:21,904
I've got a plan.
248
00:08:22,037 --> 00:08:23,507
Minos: I know all
about the thread trick.
249
00:08:23,607 --> 00:08:24,976
Hippocampus: Damn.
Minos: And the crumbs.
250
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:26,580
Hippocampus: Oh, that
would've been a good idea.
251
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,882
Minos: And the ladybugs.
252
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,519
Hippocampus:
How would that work?
253
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:31,723
Shlub: Ah, this will
stop me from flying out,
254
00:08:31,823 --> 00:08:33,927
and I love the smell of tar!
255
00:08:34,028 --> 00:08:35,497
Hippocampus: Why are
you so excited?
256
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,036
Do you not understand?
You could be killed!
257
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:41,275
Shlub: If I die,
I'll die doing what I love--
258
00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:43,012
almost dying.
259
00:08:43,145 --> 00:08:44,949
Hippocampus: Dad, wait!
260
00:08:45,718 --> 00:08:46,954
You've got traps in there?
261
00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:49,458
Minos: Enjoy!
Shlub: Why thank you!
262
00:08:49,592 --> 00:08:52,263
Not a bad fellow in the end!
263
00:08:55,705 --> 00:08:56,774
Hippocampus:
Smooth sailing so far.
264
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,042
Shlub: I know, it's too bad.
265
00:08:58,143 --> 00:08:59,712
We've avoided
the venomous snake pit,
266
00:08:59,779 --> 00:09:02,317
the guillotine corridor,
and that red water slide.
267
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,587
Hippocampus:
Dad, I already told you
268
00:09:03,654 --> 00:09:05,323
that wasn't water, it was lava.
269
00:09:05,456 --> 00:09:06,760
If we're not going
to do anything,
270
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:08,597
why did we even come here?
271
00:09:08,697 --> 00:09:11,102
Just let me step on
one suspicious rock
272
00:09:11,235 --> 00:09:12,939
beneath a column of spikes.
273
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:14,542
Hippocampus: Dad, no!
Shlub: Oh!
274
00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:16,211
Hippocampus: It's like
you want to get hurt!
275
00:09:16,345 --> 00:09:18,617
Come on, we're getting close.
276
00:09:20,053 --> 00:09:23,293
Statue one: Halt!
Behind us stand two doors.
277
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,762
Statue two: Nope.
278
00:09:24,862 --> 00:09:26,232
Statue one: One leads
to your freedom--
279
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:27,535
Statue two: Wrong.
280
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,704
Statue one: the other to
almost certain death.
281
00:09:28,804 --> 00:09:29,972
Statue two: That is incorrect.
282
00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:31,442
Statue one:
One of us always lies,
283
00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:33,012
one of us always tells
the truth.
284
00:09:33,112 --> 00:09:34,849
Statue two: Neither of us does
either of those things.
285
00:09:34,916 --> 00:09:36,318
False.
Shlub: And what about you?
286
00:09:36,485 --> 00:09:38,155
Statue 3: Oh, I'm not
with those guys.
287
00:09:38,289 --> 00:09:39,793
Hippocampus: OK, well
obviously this is the one
288
00:09:39,859 --> 00:09:40,862
that tells the truth.
289
00:09:40,962 --> 00:09:42,699
Statue two: No! Why? What? No.
290
00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:44,201
Hippocampus: Well, she said
there's two doors
291
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:45,804
and you said there weren't.
Statue two: No I didn't.
292
00:09:45,904 --> 00:09:47,474
Hippocampus: Which
door leads to freedom?
293
00:09:47,575 --> 00:09:49,245
Shlub: Because once we
know the safe door,
294
00:09:49,345 --> 00:09:51,148
we can choose the spicy door.
295
00:09:51,282 --> 00:09:52,384
Hippocampus: What?!
296
00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:53,888
Statue one: The door
on the right.
297
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:55,490
Statue two: Not true!
Statue one: No, your right.
298
00:09:55,624 --> 00:09:57,060
Statue two: No, my right.
Nobody's right.
299
00:09:57,193 --> 00:09:58,630
It's on the left. Your left!
Hippocampus: Thank you.
300
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,066
Statue two: Maybe
there are no doors!
301
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,503
Maybe we're the ones who
are trapped
302
00:10:01,637 --> 00:10:03,139
and we have to open one of you.
303
00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:04,341
Ooh!
304
00:10:04,441 --> 00:10:06,012
Hippocampus: OK, Dad. Let's go.
Shlub: Are you sure?
305
00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:08,049
'Cause we can still
choose the fun door!
306
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,484
Hippocampus: You mean
the door that she said leads
307
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,255
to "almost certain death"?
308
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:12,625
[Man screaming]
309
00:10:12,726 --> 00:10:13,794
The one that's
literally leaking blood?
310
00:10:13,894 --> 00:10:15,030
That door?
Shlub: Yes!
311
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:16,533
Statue two:
It's not leaking blood.
312
00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:17,902
Uh, you're leaking blood.
313
00:10:18,002 --> 00:10:19,539
Hippocampus: Come on!
We're leaving my way.
314
00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:21,174
Statue 3: Wait, wait,
take me with you?
315
00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:22,578
Take me with you!
316
00:10:22,678 --> 00:10:23,947
Statue one: Jeez, Debra,
if there's something you
317
00:10:24,047 --> 00:10:25,618
want to talk about,
just talk about it.
318
00:10:25,718 --> 00:10:27,054
Statue two: I'm not offended.
[Sniffling]
319
00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:29,091
Statue one: Are you--
Statue two: I'm fine!
320
00:10:29,191 --> 00:10:30,093
[Sobbing]
321
00:10:30,193 --> 00:10:31,596
Tyrannis:
Thank you for trusting me.
322
00:10:31,663 --> 00:10:33,499
It's a huge honor
and responsibility,
323
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,571
and I promise I will treat
this negotiation
324
00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:37,508
with the solemnity
that it deserves.
325
00:10:37,608 --> 00:10:39,011
Stupendous:
You're gonna do great.
326
00:10:39,111 --> 00:10:41,415
How much of this can
require you to move anyway?
327
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,886
Before we get started,
328
00:10:42,986 --> 00:10:45,691
it is a custom of my country
to stand in prayer.
329
00:10:45,824 --> 00:10:47,294
Stupendous: Seriously?
330
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:48,830
I know, right? Here we go.
331
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:51,135
I wouldn't expect that guy
to honor this tradition,
332
00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:54,274
but you, a man who claims
to be reasonable?
333
00:10:54,408 --> 00:10:55,711
Tyrannis: Uh...
334
00:10:55,844 --> 00:10:57,715
Stupendous: That's exactly
why Ty won't stand.
335
00:10:57,849 --> 00:11:00,821
He doesn't want to...honor
one kingdom over the other.
336
00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:03,794
Tyrannis: She's right,
so let's get this started.
337
00:11:03,861 --> 00:11:06,465
Stupe, will you bring
out the map, please?
338
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:07,836
"Stand in prayer."
339
00:11:07,969 --> 00:11:09,906
You go too far, Lapithos!
340
00:11:10,006 --> 00:11:11,142
Aah!
341
00:11:11,309 --> 00:11:12,745
Ty, little help?
342
00:11:12,845 --> 00:11:14,683
[Tyrannis grunting]
343
00:11:14,783 --> 00:11:17,521
No, I wouldn't want to show...
344
00:11:17,622 --> 00:11:19,024
special treatment.
345
00:11:19,124 --> 00:11:21,428
This isn't like the standing
in prayer thing.
346
00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:23,032
That's my snack for later.
347
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,370
I don't agree--because I would
never agree with this cur--
348
00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:26,573
but I don't disagree.
349
00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:28,009
Why don't you just get
the pomegranate?
350
00:11:28,142 --> 00:11:30,548
Come on.
It's right at your feet.
351
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,885
[Sweat dripping]
352
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,304
Tyrannis: Stupe!
Stupendous: What?
353
00:11:42,471 --> 00:11:43,774
I'm getting the map!
354
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,880
I can't believe how much
moving around is happening!
355
00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:48,483
Hippocampus: We better
head home before Minos
356
00:11:48,617 --> 00:11:49,853
finds out we escaped.
357
00:11:49,953 --> 00:11:51,488
He is not the most stable
person I've ever met.
358
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,560
Shlub: Ugh.
Hippocampus: What's wrong?
359
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,996
You love being mounted,
360
00:11:55,163 --> 00:11:56,867
usually in ways
I find disturbing.
361
00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:58,369
Shlub: I'm feeling
a strange feeling,
362
00:11:58,469 --> 00:12:01,175
an odd displeasure caused
by a lack of fulfillment.
363
00:12:01,308 --> 00:12:03,647
Like a climax I didn't
get to have,
364
00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:06,051
almost some kind of anti-climax!
365
00:12:06,151 --> 00:12:08,624
Hippocampus: You're...
disappointed we escaped?
366
00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:10,193
Shlub: What part of it
did you not understand?
367
00:12:10,293 --> 00:12:11,864
I wanted to do
the labyrinth the way
368
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:13,166
that it was meant to be done--
369
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,470
at great peril to my head
and testicles.
370
00:12:15,571 --> 00:12:17,007
Hippocampus:
I don't believe this.
371
00:12:17,074 --> 00:12:18,644
I save you from the death maze,
372
00:12:18,777 --> 00:12:20,614
you're mad I didn't let you
play in it longer.
373
00:12:20,714 --> 00:12:21,883
Shlub: That's right!
374
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,553
Son, I'm thousands of years old.
375
00:12:23,654 --> 00:12:25,791
Everything you think
is thrilling is
376
00:12:25,858 --> 00:12:27,227
old hat to me,
377
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:30,399
and before you ask, yes,
even romancing an old hat.
378
00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:31,769
Hippocampus: Was not gonna ask.
379
00:12:31,869 --> 00:12:33,941
The reason I came
to this party was to feel alive,
380
00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:36,445
meet a Minotaur,
get the old heart racing.
381
00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:38,449
I hear he's got huge horns.
382
00:12:38,482 --> 00:12:39,384
I hear he's got huge horns.
383
00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:40,922
I mean, horns for days.
384
00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:42,991
Hippocampus: The reason
I came is because you
385
00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:44,863
can't be trusted to look
after yourself--
386
00:12:44,996 --> 00:12:47,568
at a party, in a maze,
even in an open field
387
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,371
with nothing for miles.
388
00:12:49,471 --> 00:12:50,774
-[Grunting]
-See?!
389
00:12:50,874 --> 00:12:52,477
Shlub: I don't know how
it got so tangled!
390
00:12:52,611 --> 00:12:53,880
I thought you came
because you enjoy
391
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,149
spending time with me.
392
00:12:55,283 --> 00:12:56,819
Hippocampus: How can
I enjoy spending time
393
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,690
with someone whose idea
of fun involves
394
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,661
their own reckless demise?
395
00:13:00,761 --> 00:13:02,297
Shlub: Perhaps by
respecting what I enjoy.
396
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:04,268
Well, if you can't do that,
I'll go have fun
397
00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:07,374
the way I like--fearlessly,
open-minded,
398
00:13:07,509 --> 00:13:09,779
and all lubed up.
399
00:13:09,845 --> 00:13:11,516
Hippocampus: Oh, boy.
400
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,920
Something weird is going on
with you, Tyrannis,
401
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,891
and I've been
at war for far too long not
402
00:13:15,991 --> 00:13:17,393
to be impulsively aggressive!
403
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,599
This is why we never
get anywhere with peace talks.
404
00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,770
You're impossible! Ugh!
405
00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:23,607
Now I gotta get my dagger, too.
406
00:13:23,707 --> 00:13:25,110
Tyrannis: No! No daggers!
407
00:13:25,210 --> 00:13:26,946
If we're going to do this,
we need to establish trust!
408
00:13:27,046 --> 00:13:29,719
Stupendous: Watch this!
409
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,923
Tyrannis: And why did
you do that again?
410
00:13:32,023 --> 00:13:33,927
Stupendous: Trust.
You trusted that I wouldn't hit
411
00:13:34,027 --> 00:13:35,096
you with this knife,
412
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:36,900
and that's why
you didn't flinch.
413
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,837
Tyrannis: Right.
That is the reason.
414
00:13:38,937 --> 00:13:41,342
Now can everyone please
stop dropping things
415
00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:44,516
and throwing knives
so we can get on with it?
416
00:13:45,585 --> 00:13:49,024
Look. He attacked us to build
an extension of his palace,
417
00:13:49,124 --> 00:13:50,493
and that's just the beginning.
418
00:13:50,594 --> 00:13:54,602
The extension he built
was garish and offensive!
419
00:13:54,702 --> 00:13:55,671
[Rumbling]
420
00:13:55,737 --> 00:13:57,675
Hippocampus: Dad? Dad!
421
00:13:57,742 --> 00:14:00,648
Dad! Dad!
422
00:14:00,748 --> 00:14:03,085
Dad? Dad!
423
00:14:05,691 --> 00:14:08,764
[Screaming]
424
00:14:08,864 --> 00:14:10,200
-Unh!
-Ugh!
425
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,402
[Roaring]
426
00:14:11,503 --> 00:14:13,673
Minos: Hear that? That's his
"I forgot to eat breakfast
427
00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:16,813
and it's too late for lunch,
so I'm really hungry" roar!
428
00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:18,382
Hippocampus: Still having fun?
Shlub: Hmm.
429
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,288
I'd say 6 out of 10?
430
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:24,729
[Minotaur roaring]
431
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:25,363
Hippocampus: I don't believe it.
432
00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:27,702
You don't even get it now that
we're both going to die?
433
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,872
Shlub: Son, as I said,
I never asked you
434
00:14:29,872 --> 00:14:30,874
to keep me safe.
435
00:14:30,974 --> 00:14:32,579
Why can't you
respect what I want?
436
00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:33,479
What about what I want?!
437
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,551
I wasn't trying to
keep you safe for you.
438
00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:36,987
I'm not ready for you to die.
439
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,790
You're my dad!
Shlub: Oh.
440
00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:40,326
Hippocampus: It's
irresponsible for you to be
441
00:14:40,426 --> 00:14:42,030
so cavalier
with your life when--
442
00:14:42,163 --> 00:14:44,167
I can't believe I'm saying
this--you have a family
443
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:47,608
who wants you in their
lives as long as possible.
444
00:14:47,708 --> 00:14:49,277
Oh, son. I'm so moved.
445
00:14:49,344 --> 00:14:52,117
And here I thought you were just
a top-notch party pooper,
446
00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:53,921
which I respected, by the way!
447
00:14:54,054 --> 00:14:55,925
I'm sorry
for getting you into this,
448
00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:57,795
though, to be clear,
I'm not sorry
449
00:14:57,895 --> 00:14:59,131
for sleeping with that virgin.
450
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:02,070
He had no teeth. I mean, zero.
451
00:15:02,136 --> 00:15:03,339
[Slow clap]
Minos: Wow.
452
00:15:03,472 --> 00:15:05,009
What a touching moment
between two people
453
00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:07,848
who are about to be torn apart
by my Minotaur!
454
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,686
Shlub: Thank you.
455
00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:12,859
[Minotaur roars]
456
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:15,531
Minotauuuuuuur!
457
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:16,766
Hippocampus: Aah!
Shlub: Huh.
458
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:17,868
Hippocampus: What is it, now?
459
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:19,404
Shlub: Well, I don't know.
460
00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:21,475
He's objectively terrifying,
but I can't help feel
461
00:15:21,542 --> 00:15:24,615
I got oversold on the size
of the horns.
462
00:15:24,682 --> 00:15:25,784
Stupendous: I don't know, man.
463
00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:27,354
I don't think these
guys need peace.
464
00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:29,859
You know what actually might be
perfect for them is war.
465
00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:31,295
Tyrannis: That's not
what we're here for.
466
00:15:31,362 --> 00:15:33,032
You promised.
Plus, I need your help.
467
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:34,903
I've got a bogie in my nose,
and if I can't reach it,
468
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:36,338
you're gonna have to get it out!
469
00:15:36,405 --> 00:15:37,441
I only did that
470
00:15:37,608 --> 00:15:39,812
because of the abduction
of our Lapithion women!
471
00:15:39,912 --> 00:15:41,282
Melissa isn't "your" woman.
472
00:15:41,382 --> 00:15:43,385
she's "a" woman,
and she moved to Pandosia
473
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,389
because she likes
the sunsets more!
474
00:15:45,524 --> 00:15:46,526
Stupendous: Ugh.
475
00:15:46,626 --> 00:15:48,095
Lapithos: Oh, you have got to be
kidding me!
476
00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:49,832
Tyrannis: There's
a little more in there.
477
00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:51,234
Stupendous:
Can we move this along?
478
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,972
Lapithos: Oh, she likes
the sunsets, does she?
479
00:15:53,072 --> 00:15:54,441
I suppose it's the same
deal with our sheep?
480
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:56,045
Pandosia: Again, Begonia
isn't "your" sheep.
481
00:15:56,145 --> 00:15:58,550
She's "a" sheep,
and, no, it's not the sunsets.
482
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:00,019
We are in love!
483
00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:01,523
Stupendous: These guys are nuts.
484
00:16:01,623 --> 00:16:04,194
Please can't we just let
them fight this border war
485
00:16:04,294 --> 00:16:06,265
until both sides
completely die out?
486
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,604
Tyrannis: No! You have to make
them agree to my proposal.
487
00:16:08,704 --> 00:16:10,807
Also, I really have to pee,
so unless you want to find
488
00:16:10,907 --> 00:16:12,210
a way to solve
that for me, too...
489
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,613
Stupendous: Why don't you
just agree to this
490
00:16:13,714 --> 00:16:14,915
and stop fighting?
491
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,686
Lapithos: Because
that would be cowardly.
492
00:16:16,786 --> 00:16:18,122
I don't think it's cowardly.
493
00:16:18,222 --> 00:16:19,457
Lapithos: Of course
it's cowardly.
494
00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:21,562
What's more cowardly
than not fighting
495
00:16:21,663 --> 00:16:22,932
your worst enemy?
496
00:16:23,032 --> 00:16:24,067
I don't understand.
497
00:16:24,134 --> 00:16:25,770
Tyrannis:
Think of it like a truce.
498
00:16:25,871 --> 00:16:26,940
Lapithos: Stupendous,
you're the most
499
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,376
aggressive warrior in the world.
500
00:16:28,543 --> 00:16:31,015
Would you ever agree
to a "non-aggression pact"
501
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,985
with the understanding that
saying you would is
502
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,287
saying you're a coward?
503
00:16:34,421 --> 00:16:36,058
-It doesn't mean that.
-Yes, it does.
504
00:16:36,158 --> 00:16:37,728
[Softly]
I don't just have to pee.
505
00:16:37,828 --> 00:16:42,170
Stupendous: Yes, I would agree
to a non-aggression pact.
506
00:16:42,303 --> 00:16:44,341
Lapithos: Well,
if Stupendous would be willing
507
00:16:44,441 --> 00:16:46,278
to humiliate herself
like this...
508
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:49,317
We apologize and get over it.
509
00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:51,455
Tyrannis: Gotcha!
Stupendous: Huh?
510
00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:53,927
Tyrannis: I said, I gotcha!
Stupendous: What?!
511
00:16:54,061 --> 00:16:55,831
You're supposed to be
glued to the throne!
512
00:16:55,965 --> 00:16:57,702
Tyrannis: You can't glue
someone to a throne.
513
00:16:57,802 --> 00:16:59,605
That was honey!
514
00:16:59,738 --> 00:17:01,141
I can't believe this!
515
00:17:01,207 --> 00:17:03,445
I threw a knife really close
to your head, you know.
516
00:17:03,546 --> 00:17:05,149
Tyrannis: I know!
That was insane!
517
00:17:05,282 --> 00:17:08,055
I was frozen with terror,
but it worked out perfect!
518
00:17:08,155 --> 00:17:10,059
Scott: It was my job
to make sure
519
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,030
you used the bait glue!
520
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:13,299
[Laughter]
521
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,069
Stupendous: And you
were in on it, too?
522
00:17:15,169 --> 00:17:16,138
Pandosia: No!
523
00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:19,477
Scott: Ha ha ha! What?
524
00:17:19,578 --> 00:17:22,083
This is it.
We can't outrun him anymore.
525
00:17:22,183 --> 00:17:24,555
Shlub: Perhaps I shouldn't
have had so much wine
526
00:17:24,656 --> 00:17:25,757
back at the maze.
527
00:17:25,891 --> 00:17:27,026
[Minotaur roars]
528
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,495
Hippocampus: Aah!
529
00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:31,301
Enough running.
I wanna see bloodshed!
530
00:17:31,401 --> 00:17:33,139
It's the only thing that
keeps me from being alone
531
00:17:33,239 --> 00:17:34,576
with my divorced thoughts!
532
00:17:34,676 --> 00:17:37,280
Honestly, what are you
good for if you can't catch
533
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:39,217
a little merman and his old dad?
534
00:17:39,318 --> 00:17:41,590
You might as well
not even be here!
535
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:42,992
Minotaurrrrr!
536
00:17:43,092 --> 00:17:44,829
Minos: Don't you
speak to me in that tone.
537
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:46,031
Mino-taur!
538
00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:47,333
Minos: Yes, I know
you miss your mom.
539
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,104
May I remind you,
she left me!
540
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,841
Hippocampus, whispering:
Oh, my god. I have an idea, Dad.
541
00:17:50,941 --> 00:17:52,043
Look at them.
Shlub: I know.
542
00:17:52,177 --> 00:17:53,813
They're both sensationally hot,
543
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:55,416
but zero chemistry, I'm afraid.
544
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:57,253
Hippocampus: No. I mean,
look at them fighting.
545
00:17:57,386 --> 00:18:00,561
They're just a father and son
with father-son problems!
546
00:18:00,694 --> 00:18:02,364
Hey, Minotaur!
-Rawwr!
547
00:18:02,497 --> 00:18:04,067
Hippocampus:
I wanna say something
548
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,938
misunderstood son
to misunderstood son.
549
00:18:06,038 --> 00:18:08,242
What are you doing? Eat them!
550
00:18:08,342 --> 00:18:10,246
Shlub: Hippo, I'm no expert,
but isn't running
551
00:18:10,346 --> 00:18:12,316
in fear usually
a bit more active?
552
00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:13,953
More fearful screaming?
553
00:18:14,053 --> 00:18:15,624
Hippocampus: Listen, I know
a thing or two about having
554
00:18:15,757 --> 00:18:18,062
a father who doesn't
think about consequences.
555
00:18:18,162 --> 00:18:20,299
Hell, that's why you
and me even exist,
556
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,203
but we're never
gonna change them.
557
00:18:22,303 --> 00:18:23,907
They love us
but sometimes can't see
558
00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:25,310
how their actions affect us.
559
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:27,214
Minotaur: Minotaur.
Minos: Don't listen to him.
560
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:28,850
This is great for both of us!
561
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,220
You love eating virgins.
562
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,056
Minotaur: Minotaur, Minotaur.
563
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:33,726
Minos: You haven't
liked eating virgins
564
00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:35,163
since you were 3?
565
00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:36,632
Minotaurrrrr!
566
00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:39,605
Minos: What? I know plenty
of your friends.
567
00:18:39,739 --> 00:18:40,907
Minotaur: Minotaur.
568
00:18:40,974 --> 00:18:42,143
Minos: Of course I can name one.
569
00:18:42,243 --> 00:18:44,648
Like. I wanna say...Delby?
570
00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:46,285
Stupendous: I can't
believe you played
571
00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:49,424
so fast and loose
with an actual peace treaty.
572
00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:51,361
I thought you were
so into peace!
573
00:18:51,461 --> 00:18:53,466
Tyrannis: I'm into peace.
I'm not that into peace.
574
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:55,269
Scott: Are you worried
that two kings
575
00:18:55,370 --> 00:18:57,039
with an endless appetite
for bloodshed
576
00:18:57,139 --> 00:18:58,376
are allies against you now?
577
00:18:58,476 --> 00:19:00,079
Stupendous: What are
you still doing here?
578
00:19:00,179 --> 00:19:01,549
Scott: I'm just trying
to be part of the gang!
579
00:19:01,649 --> 00:19:03,285
Tyrannis: Go clean
the honey off of my throne!
580
00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:04,955
Stupendous: Don't worry, bro.
581
00:19:05,055 --> 00:19:06,291
If they attack us,
I'll take care of them.
582
00:19:06,391 --> 00:19:07,528
Tyrannis: I know you will.
583
00:19:07,695 --> 00:19:09,164
It's nice to just
have fun sometimes.
584
00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:10,901
Beekeeper:
Who stole all my honey?
585
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:13,272
Stupendous: Uh, the guy next
to the honey bucket
586
00:19:13,406 --> 00:19:15,409
cleaning all the honey off
that big chair!
587
00:19:15,577 --> 00:19:18,349
Beekeeper: Honey thief!
We have come for revenge!
588
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:20,788
I'm releasing my sweet bees!
589
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:23,993
[Buzzing]
Scott: Aah!
590
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:26,198
[Stupendous
and Tyrannis laughing]
591
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,634
Tyrannis: Classic Beekeeper!
592
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,437
Stupendous: This probably
goes down in, like,
593
00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:32,511
top 5 best Beekeeper
moments ever.
594
00:19:32,611 --> 00:19:34,014
Scott: Aah!
595
00:19:34,181 --> 00:19:35,751
Tyrannis: This prank
just keeps on giving.
596
00:19:35,851 --> 00:19:37,788
He's--he's getting stung.
597
00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:39,091
Scott: Aah!
598
00:19:39,191 --> 00:19:40,593
Tyrannis: He's really suffering.
599
00:19:40,693 --> 00:19:41,562
Scott: Aah!
600
00:19:41,696 --> 00:19:44,234
-Minotaur!
-OK. I see your point.
601
00:19:44,301 --> 00:19:47,039
Sometimes I don't think
about what you want.
602
00:19:47,139 --> 00:19:49,912
Your mom used to
say the same thing.
603
00:19:50,012 --> 00:19:51,048
Minotaur.
604
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,250
Shlub: Wow, son.
605
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:53,887
You really brought
them back together.
606
00:19:53,953 --> 00:19:55,456
Hippocampus: You horse-kick
that cow man freak
607
00:19:55,591 --> 00:19:56,926
as hard as you can.
Shlub: But--
608
00:19:57,026 --> 00:19:58,329
Hippocampus: Just do it!
609
00:19:58,496 --> 00:19:59,965
Minotaur: Ugh!
Minos: Unh!
610
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,368
Minotaur: Agh!
611
00:20:01,503 --> 00:20:03,272
Minos: That tender father-son
stuff was working!
612
00:20:03,406 --> 00:20:06,780
Why would you kick both
of us in the crotch?
613
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,115
Hippocampus: So you'd chase us!
614
00:20:08,215 --> 00:20:11,355
Shlub: Ha ha ha! Yes!
That's the spirit!
615
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:14,695
Rawwrr!
616
00:20:14,762 --> 00:20:16,699
Rawwrrrrr!
617
00:20:19,137 --> 00:20:21,675
[Minotaur growling]
618
00:20:22,744 --> 00:20:25,249
Minotaur...
619
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,952
Hippocampus:
That was exhilarating!
620
00:20:27,052 --> 00:20:28,790
You know what?
I see the appeal.
621
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:30,126
Shlub: Well, spectacular
622
00:20:30,259 --> 00:20:32,363
because there's a toothless
ex-virgin waiting
623
00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:34,668
for us in the piranha jacuzzi!
624
00:20:34,802 --> 00:20:36,672
Hippocampus: I mean this
in all sincerity.
625
00:20:36,806 --> 00:20:38,475
You go have fun.
626
00:20:48,897 --> 00:20:50,667
Waitress: Enjoy, sweetie.
627
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,476
Chronos: All-powerful god
of time,
628
00:20:55,577 --> 00:20:58,349
but it still takes an hour
and a half to get a table.
629
00:20:58,449 --> 00:21:00,185
Deliria: Chronos, you were
absolutely right.
630
00:21:00,286 --> 00:21:01,522
This is delicious.
631
00:21:01,622 --> 00:21:03,727
Way better than that--
what did you call it?
632
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:05,330
Hot dog?
-Told you.
633
00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:07,033
Deliria: So where are
we having dessert?
634
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,770
[Snap]
635
00:21:08,870 --> 00:21:10,239
Oh, it looks delicious.
636
00:21:10,306 --> 00:21:12,343
What is this called?
Chronos: Baked Alaska.
637
00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:14,515
Deliria: I don't understand
either of those words.
638
00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,184
Lookout: Iceberg right ahead!
639
00:21:16,284 --> 00:21:19,357
Chronos: Ooh! Ha ha!
It's about to start.
640
00:21:19,457 --> 00:21:21,328
Deliria: Oh, dinner and a show!
641
00:21:21,428 --> 00:21:24,034
You spoil me.
642
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,436
[Crash]
643
00:21:25,537 --> 00:21:28,375
[Passengers screaming]
644
00:21:30,781 --> 00:21:32,517
Dan Harmon:
Did you get any of that?
645
00:21:34,688 --> 00:21:36,692
Voice: Bento!
[Cheering]
47924
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