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?
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[Tires screech]
Flute: Uhh!
3
00:00:05,679 --> 00:00:08,651
?
4
00:00:08,652 --> 00:00:09,786
Minivan!
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00:00:09,787 --> 00:00:13,093
?
6
00:00:13,226 --> 00:00:16,432
Uhh. [Sips]
Ugh. Sweet potato.
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00:00:16,534 --> 00:00:18,571
?
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00:00:18,572 --> 00:00:19,672
Food truck!
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00:00:19,673 --> 00:00:27,989
?
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00:00:28,123 --> 00:00:31,530
[Grunting]
Ugh.
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00:00:31,597 --> 00:00:33,032
?
12
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,937
Kang: What's wrong?
Go after him.
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00:00:35,071 --> 00:00:36,907
Flute: I can't.
I only got one left.
14
00:00:36,908 --> 00:00:39,511
Burly Bandit: One what?
Flute: It's none of your business.
15
00:00:39,512 --> 00:00:42,084
Kang: One testicle.
He backed into a doorknob.
16
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:43,521
Popped it.
Real mess.
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00:00:43,522 --> 00:00:45,256
Flute: Why are you
telling him this?
18
00:00:45,257 --> 00:00:46,337
Kang: I'm an open book.
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00:00:46,393 --> 00:00:47,996
Just lift your leg over slowly.
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00:00:47,997 --> 00:00:49,732
Flute: What if it catches
and it tears open,
21
00:00:49,733 --> 00:00:51,936
spilling out the one nickel
I got left in my coin pouch?
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00:00:51,937 --> 00:00:55,144
Burly Bandit: Speaking of being
torn, I want to see this,
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00:00:55,277 --> 00:00:57,281
but I should really escape.
24
00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:03,026
Flute: Just go. I got this.
One, two.
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00:01:03,126 --> 00:01:05,163
[Siren wails]
[Horn honks]
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00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:07,534
Harmony: Firefighters say
it's their most embarrassing
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00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:10,140
rescue operation since
the magnifying glass fire
28
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:11,810
at Microphallus Fest.
29
00:01:11,877 --> 00:01:15,084
Martinez: Ha ha. I only put
my kids on my lock screen,
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00:01:15,151 --> 00:01:17,254
but for this, I'll make
an exception.
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[Flute grunting]
I'd climb down from this
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00:01:19,526 --> 00:01:21,263
firefighter's arms right now.
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00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:24,870
if it wasn't secretly
fulfilling a fantasy of mine.
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00:01:25,003 --> 00:01:26,874
[Theme music playing]
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00:01:27,008 --> 00:01:43,608
?
36
00:01:43,741 --> 00:01:44,791
[Crack]
37
00:01:46,747 --> 00:01:47,797
?
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00:01:47,798 --> 00:01:49,150
Kang: You don't need
this surgery.
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You can live with one.
40
00:01:50,590 --> 00:01:52,424
Flute: But I can't live
with the fact that there's
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00:01:52,425 --> 00:01:53,794
a criminal on the loose
because I was
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00:01:53,795 --> 00:01:54,845
scared of a fence.
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00:01:54,846 --> 00:01:56,198
Once my tool-bag is
back to full,
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00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,736
nothing will scare me.
45
00:01:57,737 --> 00:01:59,739
Kang: Trying to change your
destiny is always bad juju.
46
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,811
You need to give up
this dream and accept
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00:02:01,911 --> 00:02:03,447
you're a testiclops.
48
00:02:03,515 --> 00:02:05,484
Summers: A dutch lunch
with Flute. Huh.
49
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:08,056
A jar of Flute's
mustache trimmings.
50
00:02:08,057 --> 00:02:09,759
Drive Flute home from surgery?!
51
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,730
Pentos: Don't bother.
I'm bidding on that one.
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00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,734
With Flute numbed out
on painkillers, I plan on
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00:02:13,735 --> 00:02:16,607
asking him to co-sign on
an investment lair.
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00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:20,447
Summers: Well, I'm also bidding
on that, so, best of luck.
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00:02:20,448 --> 00:02:22,317
Pentos: Luck?
Luck is what happens
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00:02:22,318 --> 00:02:24,488
when preparation
meets opportunity.
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00:02:24,589 --> 00:02:27,194
Like, say, someone getting
mysteriously hacked
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00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:31,303
and reprogrammed to think
he was a Speak n Spell.
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00:02:31,436 --> 00:02:35,812
Summers: Spell "You just
crossed the line, bitch."
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00:02:35,912 --> 00:02:36,962
[Music stops]
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00:02:36,963 --> 00:02:39,618
Martinez: A celebration
for your genitals?
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00:02:39,619 --> 00:02:41,590
This better be
a retirement party.
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00:02:41,657 --> 00:02:43,827
Flute: I see someone left
the dog door open.
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00:02:43,828 --> 00:02:46,465
Martinez: At least I got through
it without calling the fire department.
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00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,235
Flute: Shouldn't you be
getting back to the Shire?
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00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,807
[Cell phone vibrates]
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00:02:49,907 --> 00:02:51,375
[Chimes]
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00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,246
Time to pair up.
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00:02:53,380 --> 00:03:05,103
?
70
00:03:05,104 --> 00:03:07,006
Pentos: Here for
emotional support?
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00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:10,213
Summers: Yes. And to
drive Flute home from surgery.
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00:03:10,314 --> 00:03:11,684
I won the auction.
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00:03:11,851 --> 00:03:12,901
Pentos: As did I.
74
00:03:12,986 --> 00:03:15,658
?
75
00:03:15,659 --> 00:03:17,226
Summers: I need to speak to
Detective Flute
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00:03:17,227 --> 00:03:18,277
before his surgery.
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I'm his partner and roommate.
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00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:23,640
Nurse Momoa: I'm afraid
that doesn't qualify to get you in there.
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00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:25,610
Pentos: Of course it doesn't,
you fool.
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Which way to Marvin's room?
81
00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:29,987
I'm his "number-one rival-enemy-
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00:03:30,087 --> 00:03:32,291
homoerotic-mentor-nemesis-guy."
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00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:34,094
Nurse Momoa: Sorry, but
the patient has banned
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00:03:34,095 --> 00:03:35,145
non-family members
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00:03:35,163 --> 00:03:36,767
and someone named Stan.
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00:03:36,934 --> 00:03:39,305
Pentos: We will not be deterred
in finding out
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00:03:39,405 --> 00:03:43,045
who is Flute's top foil.
Follow me.
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00:03:43,146 --> 00:03:47,589
[Machine beeping]
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00:03:47,723 --> 00:03:50,393
Choir: ? Ahh ?
90
00:03:50,528 --> 00:03:52,398
Flute: Full coin purse, baby.
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00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,833
Nurse Momoa: Your donor
wrote you this letter
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00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,764
and insisted
you read it immediately.
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00:03:55,765 --> 00:03:58,242
Flute: Why would I care what
some one-nut chump has to say?
94
00:03:58,243 --> 00:04:00,380
Choir: ? Ahh ?
95
00:04:00,548 --> 00:04:02,752
Flute: It's supposed
to glow, right?
96
00:04:02,886 --> 00:04:04,656
?
97
00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,696
It's official.
My unicycle is now bi.
98
00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:09,665
Kang: How you feeling?
Flute: I feel complete.
99
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,437
Everything is right with me.
And now left as well.
100
00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:14,307
Wynona: Quite a manspread
you got there.
101
00:04:14,308 --> 00:04:16,513
Flute: Please.
I'm just getting started.
102
00:04:16,514 --> 00:04:21,188
Kang: How are you doing that?
Flute: Probably the pain meds.
103
00:04:21,189 --> 00:04:22,558
Can somebody help me, please?
104
00:04:22,559 --> 00:04:24,427
Dispatch: All units,
the Burly Bandit spotted
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fleeing the
Grimsburg Arts District.
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00:04:26,359 --> 00:04:28,001
Flute: He's not getting away
from me this time.
107
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,039
Dispatch: Reports at the scene
say he's headed
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00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,077
toward the Fence District.
109
00:04:32,178 --> 00:04:36,386
?
110
00:04:36,452 --> 00:04:38,924
My keyboard finally arrived.
111
00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:40,394
?
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00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:42,724
Pentos: Flute has to be
in one of these rooms.
113
00:04:42,725 --> 00:04:44,301
Summers: Have you noticed
there's a lot of
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00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:46,740
smooching doctors around here?
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00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,444
Pentos: Yeah, ever since
"Grey's Anatomy,"
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00:04:49,512 --> 00:04:51,583
this is what hospitals
have become.
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00:04:51,650 --> 00:04:54,321
That's why emo pop music
is always playing
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whenever we walk into a room.
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00:04:56,159 --> 00:04:59,599
?
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00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,830
Not to mention all the hit-you-
over-the-head social issues.
121
00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:04,675
Dr. Yazzie: I don't care
that he's a racist.
122
00:05:04,676 --> 00:05:06,245
You have to operate on him.
123
00:05:06,346 --> 00:05:08,349
Dr. Nataf: I can't.
I'm on ketamine
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00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,453
that I bought from
your homeless son.
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00:05:10,555 --> 00:05:12,926
Dr. Yazzie: Damn you,
climate change!
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00:05:12,992 --> 00:05:14,328
Nurse Momoa: You two.
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00:05:14,329 --> 00:05:15,897
Why didn't you say
you were doctors?
128
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,333
I would have played
"Challengers" with
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00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:18,638
both of you sexy rat men.
130
00:05:18,738 --> 00:05:21,109
Pentos: We are
looking for Marvin Flute.
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00:05:21,175 --> 00:05:23,881
Nurse Momoa: Oh, he drove
himself home a while ago.
132
00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:27,187
Pentos: It seems that
once again, the sidekicks
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00:05:27,254 --> 00:05:30,962
have been kicked to the side.
134
00:05:31,095 --> 00:05:32,430
Damn thine poetic tongue.
135
00:05:32,431 --> 00:05:34,769
Nurse Momoa: Hey! Let's go.
I need two doctors
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00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:36,840
who aren't furiously
making out, stat.
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00:05:36,841 --> 00:05:39,377
Summers: But we're not-
Pentos: What are you doing?
138
00:05:39,378 --> 00:05:40,781
We finally have a chance
to become
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00:05:40,782 --> 00:05:42,752
the main characters
in our own story.
140
00:05:42,753 --> 00:05:44,922
Summers: But Flute hates
shenanigans like this.
141
00:05:44,923 --> 00:05:47,261
Pentos: Well, he's not
here now, is he?
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00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:49,499
Come on.
One last shenanigan
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00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:53,540
and then I promise
we'll never shenan-again.
144
00:05:54,408 --> 00:05:56,814
Kang: Welcome to Grimsburg's
Fence District.
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00:05:56,947 --> 00:05:59,520
3 square miles of
downtown redeveloped into
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00:05:59,653 --> 00:06:02,303
the largest collection of
fences ever constructed.
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00:06:02,304 --> 00:06:03,927
An incredible waste
of tax money
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00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:07,101
and the perfect test
for your new scrotum.
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00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:09,238
?
150
00:06:09,239 --> 00:06:11,776
Martinez: This time I'm
gonna shoot landscape.
151
00:06:11,777 --> 00:06:13,827
It'll make your failure
more cinematic.
152
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,452
Flute: Time to see what
you're made of, Lefty.
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00:06:16,553 --> 00:06:18,890
[Flute and Burly Bandit
grunting]
154
00:06:18,991 --> 00:06:34,054
?
155
00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:35,237
Flute: Uhh!
156
00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:36,626
Burly Bandit: Uhh.
157
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:42,805
Flute: Well, Martinez, seems
my boys passed the test...ees.
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00:06:42,872 --> 00:06:45,410
Burly Bandit: But how will
they do on the pop quiz?
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00:06:45,545 --> 00:06:46,714
Uhh!
Flute: Oof!
160
00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:49,652
Burly Bandit: Uhh.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
161
00:06:51,288 --> 00:06:54,461
Uhh. Ha ha ha ha!
162
00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:57,802
Kang: Oh, my God, he just
got hit by a truck!
163
00:06:57,903 --> 00:06:59,172
?
164
00:06:59,272 --> 00:07:03,346
Flute, high-pitched voice:
To the new owner of my crystal ball.
165
00:07:03,446 --> 00:07:05,017
Wait, is this my voice now?
166
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,756
Is it ever going to
go back to [deep voice] normal?
167
00:07:07,856 --> 00:07:10,995
Well, now, this is too low.
I'm Morgan Freeman.
168
00:07:11,061 --> 00:07:14,101
Is that offensive?
Oh, thank God. I think it was.
169
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:19,611
Flute: "Upon being hit, you
will see a vision
170
00:07:19,612 --> 00:07:22,084
"of that person's future.
"But be warned,
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00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:23,619
"do not try to change the future
172
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:25,758
"or it's gonna
wicked suck for you.
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00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:27,461
I'm from Boston, by the way."
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00:07:27,462 --> 00:07:29,631
Kang: Told you.
You messed with your destiny
175
00:07:29,632 --> 00:07:31,637
and now your juju is poopoo.
176
00:07:31,638 --> 00:07:33,773
Flute: Are you kidding?
I have superpowers now.
177
00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:35,644
I should join
a Justice League.
178
00:07:35,645 --> 00:07:37,647
Do we have a Justice League?
I should start a Justice League.
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00:07:37,648 --> 00:07:39,384
Trivia Host: What was
the name of Cory's
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00:07:39,385 --> 00:07:41,723
love interest on
"Boy Meets World"?
181
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:45,196
Flute: I got this. Excuse me,
guy whose most valuable item
182
00:07:45,197 --> 00:07:47,634
is a 10-year-old laptop
covered in anime stickers.
183
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,906
Can I submit a question?
Name the smelly, unfunny,
184
00:07:49,907 --> 00:07:51,709
long-winded incel
who devoted his life
185
00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:54,248
to something that pays nothing.
186
00:07:54,382 --> 00:07:55,484
Trivia Host: Uhh!
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00:07:55,618 --> 00:07:59,091
And the answer is Topanga.
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00:07:59,158 --> 00:08:00,627
Flute: Uhh, it's Topanga.
189
00:08:00,628 --> 00:08:02,531
[Wynona gasps] He's right.
Flute: Wait, you knew that?
190
00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:03,933
Wynona: I wanted to see
if it worked.
191
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:06,238
Flute: Whatever.
It's time for this prophet
192
00:08:06,372 --> 00:08:08,209
to make a profit.
193
00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:09,277
Man: ? Hit it ?
194
00:08:09,278 --> 00:08:11,917
?
195
00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:16,560
Woman: ? It takes two to make
a thing go right ?
196
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:20,466
? It takes two to make it
outta sight ?
197
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,539
Man: ? Hit it,
I wanna rock right now ?
198
00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:24,676
? I'm Rob Base and I
came to get down ?
199
00:08:24,776 --> 00:08:26,780
? I'm not
internationally known ?
200
00:08:26,781 --> 00:08:29,050
? But I'm known to rock
the microphone because ?
201
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,088
? I get stoopid,
I mean outrageous ?
202
00:08:31,188 --> 00:08:33,298
? Stay away from me
if you're contagious ?
203
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:35,965
? 'Cause I'm a 1, 2, 3,
get loose now ?
204
00:08:35,966 --> 00:08:37,668
Woman: ? It takes two
to make a ?
205
00:08:37,669 --> 00:08:39,239
? It, it,
it takes two to make a ?
206
00:08:39,338 --> 00:08:42,812
? It, it...
Wynona: We killed it. 200 bucks.
207
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,748
Flute: What? Why didn't you
bet more?
208
00:08:44,749 --> 00:08:46,719
Wynona: I'm cash poor.
All my money is tied up in
209
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,987
Princess Diana Beanie Babies.
210
00:08:47,988 --> 00:08:49,759
Martinez:
What's going on in here?
211
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,596
Otis: Flute's new nad
has psychic powers.
212
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,098
If you kick it,
he can see your future.
213
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,737
Martinez: That's it!
No more talking about Flute's
214
00:08:55,738 --> 00:08:57,609
gross testicle all the time!
215
00:08:57,610 --> 00:08:59,243
Flute: You're the gross one
who works out at lunch
216
00:08:59,244 --> 00:09:01,849
and then comes back looking like
a Studio Ghibli witch.
217
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,121
Martinez: I hate you
more than anything.
218
00:09:04,122 --> 00:09:06,391
Flute: And I hate you more than
having to create a password
219
00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:09,163
with an uppercase
and a lowercase and a number and a symbol.
220
00:09:09,164 --> 00:09:11,502
Martinez: Oh, yeah, doofus?
Well, how's this
221
00:09:11,503 --> 00:09:13,807
for case sensitive? Aah!
222
00:09:14,475 --> 00:09:16,613
At work, I hated this doofus.
223
00:09:16,713 --> 00:09:18,851
But now we've been
married for 30 years,
224
00:09:18,918 --> 00:09:23,325
maybe 10 more if this guy's
liver holds out. Ha ha ha!
225
00:09:23,359 --> 00:09:25,197
But that would take a miracle.
226
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:26,498
[Flute screaming]
227
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,102
Kang: I wonder what he saw.
228
00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,979
Wynona: I should
get back to work.
229
00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:35,416
Martinez: Yeah. I'm gonna go
prep my statements
230
00:09:35,417 --> 00:09:37,187
for explaining this to HR.
231
00:09:38,323 --> 00:09:41,495
Summers: It's crazy how easy
pretending to be a doctor is.
232
00:09:41,629 --> 00:09:44,368
Pentos: I know.
I did my pre-med at Hulu.
233
00:09:44,503 --> 00:09:45,772
?
234
00:09:45,773 --> 00:09:47,406
Mayor Dilquez: Thank you,
doctors, for filling in
235
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:48,744
on my engorgement surgery.
236
00:09:48,877 --> 00:09:50,548
Summers: E-e-engorgement?
237
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,183
Mayor Dilquez:
Well, my wife asked for it.
238
00:09:52,184 --> 00:09:53,619
I know most men enhance
in the other direction,
239
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,023
but she's quite shallow.
240
00:09:55,024 --> 00:09:57,226
I was hoping for something
in the neighborhood
241
00:09:57,227 --> 00:09:58,764
of, uh, this.
242
00:09:58,897 --> 00:10:00,166
Summers: We can't do this.
243
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,169
Pentos: That is exactly what
Flute would say.
244
00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:04,141
But we are free of his
negativity now.
245
00:10:04,275 --> 00:10:07,782
And what better way to celebrate
than by surgically enhancing
246
00:10:07,915 --> 00:10:12,992
this teacup piggy into
a certified blue ribbon hog?
247
00:10:13,093 --> 00:10:14,261
?
248
00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:16,832
Kang: So, what did you see
when Martinez kicked you?
249
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,763
Based on your screams,
I assume it was
250
00:10:18,804 --> 00:10:22,544
something horrific, like Gaga
doing another jazz album.
251
00:10:22,545 --> 00:10:24,214
Flute: Worse.
I saw an old Martinez
252
00:10:24,215 --> 00:10:26,720
and she was married to me,
who was also old.
253
00:10:26,721 --> 00:10:28,923
Kang: But that can't be.
I have you dying next year
254
00:10:28,924 --> 00:10:30,895
in the office death pool.
Flute: So do I.
255
00:10:30,961 --> 00:10:32,665
Plus, we despise each other.
256
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,233
Remember when she filled
all my socks with bees?
257
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,204
Or when she superglued
my toes together?
258
00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:38,644
Or that time she
catfished me as Vince Vaughn?
259
00:10:38,777 --> 00:10:40,587
Kang: She really
had his voice down.
260
00:10:40,588 --> 00:10:42,049
Flute: This doesn't
make any sense.
261
00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:43,620
Kang: Doesn't it?
I mean,
262
00:10:43,621 --> 00:10:45,188
isn't this how
all love stories start?
263
00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,659
"Much Ado About Nothing."
"Pride and Prejudice."
264
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:49,699
"10 Things I Hate About You."
"Tangled."
265
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,201
"She-Ra and the Princesses
of Power."
266
00:10:51,202 --> 00:10:53,205
"You've Got Mail."
All airport books.
267
00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:55,544
Fire Island. "When Harry Met
Sally." "Never Have I Ever."
268
00:10:55,545 --> 00:10:58,316
"The Mindy Project."
Every other Mindy Kaling project.
269
00:10:58,416 --> 00:10:59,796
Flute: Oh, God, what do I do?
270
00:10:59,797 --> 00:11:00,854
Kang: As I've said all along,
271
00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:02,391
you do nothing.
272
00:11:02,491 --> 00:11:03,541
Accept your fate
273
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:04,829
and embrace your future.
274
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,264
Flute: That's it.
But the opposite.
275
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,101
I refuse my fate
and change my future.
276
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,206
All I got to do is
stay away from Martinez.
277
00:11:10,273 --> 00:11:12,645
Martinez: Flute!
When you're done icing down
278
00:11:12,646 --> 00:11:14,113
your seed satchel,
we have to interview
279
00:11:14,114 --> 00:11:16,118
that witness
in the Bingo Bopper case.
280
00:11:16,252 --> 00:11:19,659
Don't make me regret this
any more than I already do.
281
00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,094
Flute: Oh, I'm gonna
make you regret this
282
00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:22,865
very much more
than you already do.
283
00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:24,969
Because I'm about to do
the impossible:
284
00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:28,075
stop a woman from falling
in love with me.
285
00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:30,013
?
286
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:31,915
Summers: Hope that worked.
I was kind of just
287
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:33,606
making things up
as we went along.
288
00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:35,757
Wikihow's genital
elective surgery section
289
00:11:35,758 --> 00:11:37,327
was very lacking.
290
00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:38,461
Mayor Dilquez: Gentlemen,
291
00:11:38,462 --> 00:11:40,100
what an amazing success!
292
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,639
I'm recommending you two
to all my friends.
293
00:11:42,739 --> 00:11:44,140
You'll be rich.
294
00:11:45,176 --> 00:12:15,103
?
295
00:12:15,104 --> 00:12:17,006
Flute: You know,
working a case together
296
00:12:17,007 --> 00:12:18,447
is kind of like being married.
297
00:12:18,448 --> 00:12:20,279
We're called partners.
We have each other's backs.
298
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,149
And you have to accept
my unbreakable habit
299
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,654
of making a little noise after I
take a sip of water.
300
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:26,859
[Sips] Ahh.
301
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:28,161
Martinez: God,
you're more annoying
302
00:12:28,162 --> 00:12:29,765
than tipping on a to-go order.
303
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:31,339
Flute: Ooh, how about a game?
304
00:12:31,468 --> 00:12:34,676
Let's play "Fart, Dairy, Grill"
with our coworkers.
305
00:12:34,776 --> 00:12:37,213
I'll go first. I'd fart on Kang,
milk Summers,
306
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,116
and grill a tomahawk steak
with Wynona.
307
00:12:39,117 --> 00:12:40,921
Martinez: What?
That's not a game.
308
00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,891
Flute: Then what about this one?
Who can scream the loudest
309
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,762
while tickling
the other person? Go!
310
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:46,164
Rawr rawr rawr!
311
00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:50,139
Flute, muffled: I win.
312
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,946
?
313
00:12:53,046 --> 00:12:54,316
You seem mad.
Are you mad?
314
00:12:54,415 --> 00:12:57,154
Martinez: Oh, I'm way beyond
mad. I'm done.
315
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:59,826
When we get back,
I'm transferring myself
316
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,010
so far away that
the only flute I'll hear
317
00:13:02,063 --> 00:13:04,067
is a distant woodwind
underscoring
318
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:06,707
the long-forgotten temple
I'm exploring.
319
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:08,207
That's right.
I'm transferring
320
00:13:08,208 --> 00:13:10,814
to the Lara Croft
Tomb Raider division.
321
00:13:10,815 --> 00:13:12,950
Flute: Aww! Now we'll never
be able to mend
322
00:13:12,951 --> 00:13:14,622
our fractured relationship.
323
00:13:14,722 --> 00:13:17,729
[Thunder and lightning]
324
00:13:17,829 --> 00:13:19,932
Martinez: We gotta find cover!
325
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:25,309
?
326
00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:28,182
[Door creaks]
327
00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:33,092
?
328
00:13:33,158 --> 00:13:34,862
Flute: "Dear Todd and Terry,
329
00:13:34,963 --> 00:13:37,200
enjoy your honeymoon
at our Airbnb."
330
00:13:37,201 --> 00:13:39,971
Martinez: "Dear Todd and Terry,
I'm drinking your wine
331
00:13:39,972 --> 00:13:42,211
after the day I had
with this human buttock."
332
00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:44,246
Flute: Hmm, not sure
that's a good idea,
333
00:13:44,247 --> 00:13:46,451
but I do love alcohol
more than myself.
334
00:13:47,621 --> 00:13:49,391
[Both laugh]
335
00:13:49,457 --> 00:13:52,407
Flute: Wait, your 5 boys
are named Steven Tyler Martinez,
336
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:54,969
Joe Perry Martinez,
Tom Hamilton Martinez,
337
00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:57,708
Joey Kramer Martinez,
and Brad Whitford Martinez?
338
00:13:57,709 --> 00:13:59,277
Martinez: What can I tell you?
339
00:13:59,278 --> 00:14:01,649
My late husband and I
freaking loved Aerosmith.
340
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:04,780
Flute: So you have
one child named Joe and another named Joey?
341
00:14:04,781 --> 00:14:06,692
Martinez: Hey, I didn't
form the band.
342
00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:08,596
I just named my kids after them.
343
00:14:08,696 --> 00:14:10,767
[Both laugh]
344
00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:13,740
Flute: Wow. This really is
the worst evening
345
00:14:13,741 --> 00:14:15,141
I've ever spent with someone.
346
00:14:15,142 --> 00:14:16,177
Martinez: Tell me about it.
347
00:14:16,178 --> 00:14:17,915
To never doing this again.
348
00:14:18,048 --> 00:14:20,420
[Glasses clink]
[Flute gulping]
349
00:14:20,421 --> 00:14:22,624
Flute: I'll open another while
you take your big dump.
350
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:25,155
Martinez: Oh, shut up!
I'm taking out my contacts.
351
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,166
Flute: Smart.
You look terrible in glasses.
352
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,937
Martinez: My eyesight's fine.
I wear colored contacts.
353
00:14:29,973 --> 00:14:32,778
Flute: But your eyes are brown.
Martinez: I know.
354
00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:36,385
That way nobody sees...this.
355
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,322
?
356
00:14:38,456 --> 00:14:41,027
Nobody takes me seriously
with these.
357
00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:43,766
Flute: Your eye pools
are so blue.
358
00:14:43,867 --> 00:14:45,904
?
359
00:14:46,071 --> 00:14:49,378
But in a good, not
Alexandra Daddario way.
360
00:14:49,445 --> 00:14:50,981
?
361
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:53,452
Martinez: I need to put
this away.
362
00:14:55,055 --> 00:14:57,662
Flute: This doesn't make
any sense.
363
00:14:57,829 --> 00:15:10,052
?
364
00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:12,692
[Gasps]
I'm gonna marry Martinez.
365
00:15:12,825 --> 00:15:14,528
And when were we
in "La La Land"?
366
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:17,434
Todd: Aah!
367
00:15:17,435 --> 00:15:19,604
Terry: Do we have
any Greek yogurt?
368
00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:22,946
Todd: I don't know.
Did you buy any Greek yogurt?
369
00:15:23,112 --> 00:15:25,650
Flute: I want what you have.
370
00:15:29,457 --> 00:15:31,730
?
371
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:34,468
Kang: Flutinez,
Marlute, Marvina?
372
00:15:34,536 --> 00:15:37,273
What are these?
Depression medications?
373
00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:39,462
Are you wearing lipstick?
374
00:15:39,463 --> 00:15:41,347
Flute: Lip conditioner.
Mango Madness.
375
00:15:41,348 --> 00:15:43,218
Martinez's favorite.
You were right, Kang.
376
00:15:43,219 --> 00:15:45,188
Fighting my fate of
marrying Martinez
377
00:15:45,189 --> 00:15:47,528
is like my fight
against illiteracy.
378
00:15:47,629 --> 00:15:48,864
It's imporpasman.
379
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,398
Kang: So, now you're just
in love with her?
380
00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,770
Flute: Why wait?
I need to get on with my density.
381
00:15:52,771 --> 00:15:56,445
Den-denitsy. Destinity.
Dens-Desitin.
382
00:15:56,546 --> 00:15:58,817
Kang: I don't think
this is illiteracy.
383
00:15:58,884 --> 00:16:00,286
Martinez: Flute!
384
00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:03,526
Flute: Martinez.
You look so pretty today.
385
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:07,535
Like a flower that
makes men horny in our hearts.
386
00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:10,708
Martinez: Uh, we got a lead
in the Bingo Bopper case.
387
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:12,009
We're going undercover.
388
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:13,847
Flute: Flutinez is on the case.
389
00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:17,453
Martinez: Just get your
disguise and meet us in the surveillance van.
390
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,725
Flute: I knew I should have
said Martute.
391
00:16:19,726 --> 00:16:21,529
?
392
00:16:21,530 --> 00:16:24,701
Martinez: Our informant says
the Bingo Bopper will strike here next.
393
00:16:24,702 --> 00:16:26,437
Flute: Listen, I gotta
tell you something.
394
00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:28,274
Martinez: No. We need to focus
on the case.
395
00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:29,912
Flute: I think I love you.
396
00:16:30,012 --> 00:16:31,816
Vera: Aren't you two
a cute couple.
397
00:16:31,916 --> 00:16:34,287
You must not be married.
[Giggles]
398
00:16:34,454 --> 00:16:37,027
Martinez: At work, I hated
this doofus.
399
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,210
But now we've been married
for 30 years,
400
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,903
maybe 10 more if
this guy's liver holds out.
401
00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:43,306
Ha ha ha!
402
00:16:43,439 --> 00:16:45,511
Both:
But that'll take a miracle.
403
00:16:45,577 --> 00:16:49,518
Flute: Oh, God. I can't believe
the mess I made.
404
00:16:50,419 --> 00:16:52,558
Vera: We have wet wipes
if you need them.
405
00:16:52,559 --> 00:16:55,328
Martinez: What the hell is
wrong with you, outside of
406
00:16:55,329 --> 00:16:57,299
all the things that are
normally wrong with you?
407
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,202
Flute: OK. When you kicked me,
my vision-
408
00:16:59,203 --> 00:17:01,910
Martinez: Ugh. I'm sick of
your stupid visions.
409
00:17:01,911 --> 00:17:03,311
It's all in your head.
Just like
410
00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:05,182
your fear of fences
and your crime mind
411
00:17:05,183 --> 00:17:07,187
and your belief in
sewer goblins.
412
00:17:07,188 --> 00:17:09,089
Flute: Can you explain
where our poops go?
413
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:11,696
And to think I even considered-
oh, forget it.
414
00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:15,904
?
415
00:17:16,037 --> 00:17:17,340
Freeze, Bingo Bopper.
416
00:17:17,407 --> 00:17:23,052
?
417
00:17:23,218 --> 00:17:26,458
Sometimes it takes a nutjob
to catch a nutjob.
418
00:17:27,595 --> 00:17:30,968
Choir: ? Oh...
Martinez: Is that your thing? Bingo jokes?
419
00:17:31,101 --> 00:17:33,438
By all means, kill me.
Bingo Bopper: Uhh!
420
00:17:36,478 --> 00:17:38,249
Kang: Oh, thank God
you're alive.
421
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,819
We're still in the death pool.
422
00:17:39,986 --> 00:17:41,426
Just live one more year, baby.
423
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,358
Flute: But Martinez won't.
She's gonna die.
424
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:44,862
I just saw her get killed.
425
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:46,498
Kang: What? Then
we gotta stop it.
426
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,502
Flute: Uh, what happened to
everything happens for a reason?
427
00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:51,333
Kang: Yeah, but it's up to us
to decide what the reason is.
428
00:17:51,375 --> 00:17:54,982
And maybe the reason is to prove
you have everything you need.
429
00:17:54,983 --> 00:17:56,651
Or that fate is what
you make of it.
430
00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:59,224
Or that the stereotype of
the wise old Asian man
431
00:17:59,357 --> 00:18:01,527
isn't always true.
Although, having lived
432
00:18:01,528 --> 00:18:03,666
through many centuries,
we usually are right.
433
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,271
So, what's it gonna be,
Flute? Why are we here?
434
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:08,408
Flute: We have to save Martinez.
Kang: Good,
435
00:18:08,409 --> 00:18:11,179
because she hasn't paid
her share of the death pool yet.
436
00:18:14,722 --> 00:18:26,178
?
437
00:18:26,245 --> 00:18:30,252
Bingo Bopper: Sorry, but I-16
have to kill you.
438
00:18:30,352 --> 00:18:33,560
O-64 well, so B-3 it.
439
00:18:33,693 --> 00:18:36,264
Martinez: God, is that
your thing? Bingo jokes?
440
00:18:36,431 --> 00:18:38,770
By all means, kill me.
441
00:18:38,904 --> 00:18:40,239
Bingo Bopper: Uhh!
442
00:18:40,974 --> 00:18:52,163
?
443
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:53,799
Martinez: Somebody call
a doctor!
444
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,507
Older man: Don't worry.
I know just the guys.
445
00:18:57,508 --> 00:19:01,548
Pentos: Now, what was
so damned important
446
00:19:01,549 --> 00:19:03,753
we had to leave
that overhyped White Party?
447
00:19:03,754 --> 00:19:08,897
Summers: Yeah. I was about to
Lipa on Dua. Huh.
448
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:11,268
[Gasp] It's Flute!
449
00:19:11,269 --> 00:19:13,171
Nurse Momoa: Sorry,
but we needed the top
450
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:15,443
genitalia surgeons in Grimsburg.
451
00:19:15,611 --> 00:19:19,083
Pentos: Our shenanigan is
crashing all around us.
452
00:19:19,084 --> 00:19:20,986
The irony of it all
is that the very man
453
00:19:20,987 --> 00:19:24,361
who could have stopped this
madness lays before us now,
454
00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:26,732
needing the very thing
we cannot provide.
455
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:29,671
Summers: No! Ever heard the term
fake until you make it?
456
00:19:29,672 --> 00:19:33,012
Well, we're gonna make it,
right now, for Flute.
457
00:19:33,079 --> 00:19:37,588
?
458
00:19:37,688 --> 00:19:40,098
Pentos: What do we do?
Do we jolt it with paddles
459
00:19:40,226 --> 00:19:41,996
or give it CPR?
460
00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:44,067
Oh, boy, here goes nothing.
461
00:19:44,068 --> 00:19:46,470
Nurse Momoa:
What the hell are you doing?
462
00:19:46,471 --> 00:19:49,244
You aren't real junkologists,
are you?
463
00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:50,914
Pentos: No, we are not.
464
00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:53,652
Summers: We only came here to
pick up our friend post-surgery
465
00:19:53,653 --> 00:19:55,488
and wound up gluing
empty tennis ball cans
466
00:19:55,489 --> 00:19:57,894
onto insecure men and turned
it into a medical empire.
467
00:19:57,895 --> 00:20:01,235
Pentos: Certainly, you could see
how easily that could happen.
468
00:20:01,236 --> 00:20:03,037
Nurse Momoa: I think you two
should leave.
469
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,610
Pentos: Well, yeah.
470
00:20:05,711 --> 00:20:12,256
?
471
00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:14,762
Martinez: They, uh,
couldn't save it. Again.
472
00:20:14,763 --> 00:20:17,365
Flute: That's OK. I thought I
needed it to make me complete,
473
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:19,772
but maybe I already have
everything I need.
474
00:20:19,906 --> 00:20:23,379
Martinez: Um, you know,
back when you said you loved me,
475
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,149
you were very convincing.
476
00:20:25,282 --> 00:20:27,212
Flute: Well,
I'm an incredible actor.
477
00:20:27,213 --> 00:20:29,389
Martinez: Speaking of,
there's someone here
478
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:32,296
who wanted to say hello.
Hold on.
479
00:20:32,396 --> 00:20:35,704
Flute: It better not be Stan.
No way! Vince Vaughn?
480
00:20:35,705 --> 00:20:37,707
Martinez, as Vaughn:
There's my beautiful baby boy.
481
00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,409
How are you feeling?
Feeling good?
482
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:40,813
You're looking good.
Smelling good, too.
483
00:20:40,814 --> 00:20:42,449
Why? Because daddy slid
the nurse a fiver
484
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,389
to keep your bedpan neat, OK?
[Laughs]
485
00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:47,226
Listen, I'd love to sit around
and chop it up with you,
486
00:20:47,227 --> 00:20:49,564
but Fav's is double-parked
outside on our way to Vegas, baby.
487
00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:51,135
Lock it up.
Flute: You lock it up.
488
00:20:51,301 --> 00:20:53,573
Martinez: No, you lock it up.
[Laughs]
489
00:20:53,673 --> 00:20:55,678
Flute: Wow. I finally met
Vince Vaughn.
490
00:20:55,778 --> 00:20:58,014
I guess things really do
happen for a reason.
491
00:21:01,889 --> 00:21:02,992
?
492
00:21:02,993 --> 00:21:04,994
Summers: Well, Flute, you're
back to having one testicle.
493
00:21:04,995 --> 00:21:08,703
Pentos: But now you have
two best friends. Ha ha ha!
494
00:21:08,704 --> 00:21:10,405
Flute: Even through
the very strong drugs,
495
00:21:10,406 --> 00:21:12,042
you guys are so annoying.
496
00:21:12,143 --> 00:21:13,379
?
497
00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:16,685
Man: ? Look over
your shoulder, yeah ?
498
00:21:16,752 --> 00:21:20,459
? Look over your shoulder now ?
499
00:21:20,594 --> 00:21:22,429
? Look over your shoulder ?
500
00:21:22,597 --> 00:21:25,269
? Wait, there's a wall
in front of you ?
501
00:21:25,270 --> 00:21:27,305
Wait, seriously,
there's a wall. Hey, stop.
502
00:21:27,306 --> 00:21:28,576
Stop! Stop looking
over your shoulder.
503
00:21:28,577 --> 00:21:30,680
You're gonna hit-oh, my God.
504
00:21:34,522 --> 00:21:36,825
Person: Bento.
[Cheering]
505
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:41,425
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