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[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,268
NARRATOR:
Of all the things in school
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00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,009
that could affect
your life forever,
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00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,880
making friends, taking tests,
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00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,882
the one thing
that could really affect it
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00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,579
was your school picture.
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If your picture looked good,
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everybody thought
you were cool,
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and every girl wanted one.
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I got one!
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Ladies, ladies, please.
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I'm signing as fast as I can.
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Chris only has one hand.
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00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,768
NARRATOR: When you took a bad picture, it was like giving out subpoenas.
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Hey, I got some
yearbook pictures.
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00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:32,989
Five by sevens,
five by sevens.
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Wallet size.
Hey, I'll frame it up for you.
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00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,950
I will frame it up for you.
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NARRATOR: So this year I had to prepare,
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and the first thing I had to do
21
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was find the right outfit.
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I really wanted to look good.
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The problem was, my mother
wanted me to look good too.
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Chris,
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I got your outfit
for picture day.
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NARRATOR:
Only thing missing
was a hat with a propeller.
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[♪♪♪]
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♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
29
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Oh, Chris, you look sharp.
30
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I look stupid.
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How come I have to wear
Drew's old stuff?
32
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Oh, baby, I had to buy
Drew a new pair of pants
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and Tonya a new pair of shoes
for their school pictures.
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What's wrong?
You look fine.
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NARRATOR:
My father thought
any clothes were good clothes
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Well, that's 'cause
he didn't have matching socks
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till he was 29.I look like an idiot.
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Baby, you do not look
like an idiot to me.
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NARRATOR:
That'd be great if I was two.
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00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,075
Well, can I please
wear something else?
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Long as I don't
have to pay for it.
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00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,165
Just find
something to wear
43
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and I'll take
a look at it, okay?
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00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,386
I don't have
anything special.
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When I was a kid,
we didn't need special clothes.
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Just having clothes was special.
47
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NARRATOR:
The only way I was gonna get my mother to spend money on me
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00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,526
was if not doing it
would embarrass her.
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00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,050
Mom, I'm the only black kid
in the whole school.
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00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,965
They already think
I'm a crack baby.
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00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,881
Wearing this sweater, they'll
probably think I'm on welfare.
52
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,057
Who said we were on welfare?
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Be home from school
on time tomorrow.
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We're gonna
go shopping.
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I thought you said
we didn't have the money.
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Oh, I'll get it.
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Or they'll think
that we on welfare.
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NARRATOR:
If people thought
we were homeless,
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00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,288
I could've got
some leather socks.
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00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,377
When my mother couldn't get
any business to hire her,
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she would start
her own business from home.
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The secret to success
in selling Yvonne cosmetics
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is in attitude.
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Now, when I started
selling Yvonne,
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I was like
a lot of you.
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00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,869
I was raising my kids,
doing housework
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00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:57,742
and wondering
where I went wrong. But since,
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00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,832
I've divorced my husband,
my kids moved in with my mother,
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00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:03,444
and just last month
I won an award:
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the Yvonne yellow
Buick Riviera.
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Wait. So how can
we make money again?
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Well, you do like me.
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You sell your products
to women like yourself,
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00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,326
then they sell them
to women like them.
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00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,328
Now, isn't that
the pyramid scheme?
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00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,635
Oh, no. Of course not.
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00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:23,986
We use the triangulated
vertical integration model,
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or TVI for short.
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TVIs work from
the bottom up.
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This is your business, ladies.
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There is no one
below you.
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So that means
we're at the top.
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00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,304
No, you're at the bottom.
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But that's as high
as you can go.
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Count me in.
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Me too.Yeah, girl.
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We're gonna make some money.
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NARRATOR:
While my mother
was keeping it together,
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00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,533
Tonya was tearing things apart.
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00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,840
You broke my car?It fell.
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00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,233
It didn't just fall.
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00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:54,843
What were you doing
in here anyway?
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00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,193
I was trying to see if my doll
could ride in it.
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It's a model car.
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00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,152
Nobody's supposed to fit in it.
96
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,503
It's just a stupid car,
Drew.
97
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:05,332
Say you're sorry.I ain't saying nothing.
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00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:08,335
NARRATOR:
Drew was a pretty nice guy,
but if you crossed him,
99
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,989
it was a whole different game.It's all right.
100
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,253
NARRATOR:
Translation:
You done messed up.
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What's all this?
102
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Yvonne cosmetics.
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I'm gonna be a sales rep.
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You're not working
from home again, are you?
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00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,222
NARRATOR:
My father hated
when my mother
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00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,050
went into business
for herself.
107
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:30,008
I know it's January, sir,
108
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,707
but candy corn is not just
for Halloween anymore.
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00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,622
NARRATOR:
She ran up the phone bill.
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She put my father to work.
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00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,713
What you mean you got to
put it together yourself?
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00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,498
Shh! What size
shoe you wear?
113
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,283
NARRATOR:
And she was always eating.
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00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,589
Well, Supperware
is just like Tupperware,
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00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,374
except it's for us.
116
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,158
How much does
all of this cost?
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$75.
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00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:53,118
Where'd you get $75?
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00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,946
From our savings account.
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00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,993
How are we supposed to save
if you keep taking money out?
121
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,822
I need money to buy a new outfit
for Chris's picture day.
122
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,477
But if you don't think
that I can do it, then fine.
123
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:06,567
NARRATOR:
Translation: How come you're always putting me down?
124
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:08,264
It's not that. I--
125
00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:10,962
I just don't want all these
women hanging out over here,
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00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:13,878
running their mouth, eating
our food and wasting your time.
127
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,793
It's not gonna be
a waste of time.
128
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,839
All right.
129
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,015
NARRATOR:
Meanwhile, Drew
was getting revenge,
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00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,582
and Tonya couldn't tell how.
131
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,366
What are you
doing in my room?
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00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,064
Are you gonna say sorry? Okay.No.
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NARRATOR:
That's the same thing
Martha Stewart said
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00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,112
before they sent her to jail.
135
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,548
[♪♪♪]
136
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,115
What happened
to your hair?
137
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,247
I wanted to try
something new for picture day.
138
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,684
Man, you should try again.
139
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,338
Come on, man,
it's like Billy Idol.
140
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,557
It's just hair gel.Yeah, but on picture day,
141
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:42,211
aren't you supposed
to look like...
142
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,778
I don't know... You?
143
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,562
It was either this
or Boy George.
144
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,304
Boy George? Man, the girls
would have been all over you.
145
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,915
What about for your picture?
You do anything special?
146
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:53,265
My mom's taking me shopping
for a new outfit.
147
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,616
Get out. What are you gonna get?I don't know.
148
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,358
Anything that does not have
a big red fire truck on it.
149
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,101
Nice hair. You waiting
for a white wedding?
150
00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:05,234
[BOYS LAUGHING]Those guys are losers.
151
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,236
NARRATOR:
You should have seen Greg
on picture day
152
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,978
after he started listening
to ZZ Top.
153
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:12,502
Irwin's was our
neighborhood clothing store.
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00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,374
Before rappers
had clothing lines,
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00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,115
you can get an outfit
for under $40.
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00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,639
Welcome to Irwin's.
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00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,293
Thank you. Uh, we're
looking for an outfit.
158
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,948
With the right outfit,
you can beat any charge.
159
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,646
I'm not charged with anything.
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00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:29,084
We're just looking for an outfit
for his school pictures.
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00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,782
Oh, oh. Okay, good.
162
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:34,524
Stay in school, kid.
It'll keep you out of jail.
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00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,744
NARRATOR:
Yeah, that
and not breaking the law.
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00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:39,964
Come here. You know what
good clothes look like? Please.
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00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:41,444
[♪♪♪]
166
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It's okay.
You don't like that?
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00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,928
Mom.No.
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00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,713
Put it back.
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00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,281
NARRATOR:
To find the perfect outfit
for picture day,
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00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,370
I tried out all kinds of looks.
171
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,459
The Isaac Hayes look.
172
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,031
The Don King look.
173
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,689
The Rerun.
174
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,955
[LAUGHING]
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00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,480
Boy, get in there.
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00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,658
Thurston Howell III.
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00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:30,275
And finally, the "Please, Mama, can I have it?"
178
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,718
We got Chris a new outfit
for his school picture.
179
00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:40,547
It's so cool. I have
a suede-front shirt.
180
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,070
You got Chris a suede shirt?
181
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,550
I don't even
have suede shoes.
182
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,465
How much does
a suede shirt cost?
183
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,597
Don't worry, Julius. I'll pay
for it out of my Yvonne money.
184
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,207
You sold all
that stuff already?
185
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,905
I'm having a party tomorrow.
186
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,560
You're having a party?
Wish I was having a party.
187
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,171
So Tonya, I was trying to put
your outfit together
188
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:59,217
for your school picture, and I
was only able to find one shoe.
189
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,872
Where's your other shoe?Huh?
190
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,875
Your shoes. Your brand-new
pair of shoes.
191
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,747
One is missing.
Where's the other one?
192
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:08,531
Wish I could afford
to lose a shoe.
193
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,447
Drew took it.
194
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,710
No, I didn't.
195
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,930
NARRATOR:
The only way Tonya
could tell on Drew
196
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,671
was if she told on herself.
197
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,368
So she had a choice to make,
198
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:22,197
and it kinda made her
feel like this...
199
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,721
You're a low-down
lying Yankee.
200
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,244
Prove it.
201
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,466
[NEIGHING]
202
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,773
Why would Drew take your shoe?I don't know.
203
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,731
Wish I could afford
to not know stuff.
204
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:37,604
Well, you need to stop lying
on people and find your shoe.
205
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,434
NARRATOR:
It was only
a few times at my school
206
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,307
that I actually felt good.
Now, the day I showed up
207
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,527
in a suede-front shirt,
that was one of them.
208
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:50,094
Yo, what's that?Suede.
209
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,183
NARRATOR:
Greg's look went
from Billy Idol
210
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,272
to his other idol, Pat Riley.
211
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,754
BOY:
Hey, Chris.
212
00:08:57,928 --> 00:09:00,061
Hey, Huggy Bear.
Nice shirt. When you get done,
213
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,019
you can make some
hushpuppies out of it.
214
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,413
He's just jealous.
215
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,416
NARRATOR:
I had never had another kid
feel jealous of me before.
216
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:11,899
It felt kind of cool.
And then this happened.
217
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,683
My clothes are gone.
218
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,946
Oh, man, they're taking
pictures next period.
219
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,600
Don't you think I know that?
220
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:21,952
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
221
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,699
What's wrong, Scatman?Where'd you put my clothes?
222
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,614
I don't know what
you're talking about.
223
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,311
You do know
what I'm talking about.
224
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:34,704
You stole my clothes.
225
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,184
Did you see me
steal your clothes?
226
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,838
Maybe you lost them.
227
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,362
Well, maybe your mama
lost them.
What?
228
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:43,974
That shirt cost $35,
and I want it back.
229
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,323
I don't have it, Nipsy.
230
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,543
We gone see about that.
231
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:50,328
NARRATOR:
I knew Caruso would never
give me back my clothes
232
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:53,680
unless I proved I was willing
to do what I needed to do.
233
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:55,638
So I told on him.He stole my clothes.
234
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,901
No, I didn't.Yes, you did.
235
00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,903
NARRATOR:
Mrs. Malone was the school's
assistant principal.
236
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,602
She was promoted to the position after proving the only
237
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,256
thing she hated more than kids
was working with kids.
238
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,823
Stop it. Both of you.
239
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:08,695
I don't have time for this.
240
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:11,001
If you stole his clothes,
give them back now.
241
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,090
I didn't.
242
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:15,919
See?
243
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,704
Told you.
244
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,967
I don't like liars,
young man.
245
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,925
Lie to me again,
246
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,058
that's detention.NARRATOR: I wonder what
247
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:26,495
I would have gotten if I'd stomped on her big toe.
248
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:29,280
[STUDENTS CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY]
249
00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:30,978
I can't take
my pictures in this.
250
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:34,459
You might not have to.
Come on.
251
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,984
NARRATOR:
My mother was good
at buying stuff,
252
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,942
but she was never
any good at selling.
253
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:42,206
Okay, ladies, can I have
your attention, please?
254
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,253
NARRATOR:
These women are worse than
pigeons in Central Park.
255
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,950
Wait, 'cause
that's the last one.
256
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,039
Ladies, can I have
your attention, please?
257
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,476
I think I'm going to stick
with these right here.
258
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,696
Um, ladies, how about
we all have a seat?
259
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,611
Here, in here, please.
260
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,047
Take a seat.
Thank you.
261
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,745
Please, be seated.
262
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:02,923
Okay, I would like to tell you
about the benefits
263
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,403
of buying and selling
Yvonne cosmetics.
264
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,144
Ooh, what is that?
265
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:10,757
Oh, this is a light skin-blemish
cream. It removes--
266
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:14,325
No, no, no, I'm talking
about the sauce on these wings.
267
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:17,024
Oh, those are honey barbecue.
268
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,287
Yes. So, um...
269
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,202
Ooh, these are good.
270
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:22,725
I mean, good.
271
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:24,553
Thank you very much,
I appreciate that.
272
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:27,077
So getting back
to the cosmetic line,
273
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,514
what we need to do, ladies,
is position ourselves--
274
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,908
What's your name again?
275
00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:33,518
My name is Rochelle.
276
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,085
Rochelle.With Yvonne cosmetics,
277
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:36,608
you need to
position yourself
278
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,436
in order to...You know what?
279
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:41,309
Mmm. I am late. I have got
to go pick up my sister's son.
280
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:42,963
I am so...
281
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,052
Ooh, but this is really nice.
It really was.
282
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:46,793
But wait, I didn't
explain to you
283
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,969
the marketing strategy
for Yvonne cosmetics.
284
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,493
You know what, we-we'll come
back again next time.
285
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,582
All right, then. You know,
I'm sorry. You know what?
286
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:56,628
I got to go too. I know,
I know, I'm so sorry.
287
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,065
I gotta go.
It's getting late.
288
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,849
You so sweet.
God bless
289
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,373
your little heart, you're just
as cute as you can be.
290
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:05,072
I, uh... You too? I...
291
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,030
This was great.
292
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:09,293
Let us know when
you want to do it again.
293
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,515
NARRATOR:
They ran out of there like
294
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,125
Keith Sweat tickets
were on sale.
295
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,214
How y'all just going to--?[DOOR CLOSES]
296
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,912
[♪♪♪]
297
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,609
Spent all this money!
298
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,047
They ate all this?
299
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,397
If you say,
"I told you so,"
300
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,486
they might be the last words
you ever say.
301
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,184
That's not what
I was going to say.
302
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,099
Oh, it's not?No.
303
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:34,101
Oh.
304
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,711
Well, what were you
going to say?
305
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,844
You need to get it
together.
306
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,716
What?I put $75 into this,
307
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,197
so as far as I'm concerned,
that makes us partners.
308
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,764
And I want my money back.
309
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,244
You think people are just
going to buy this junk?
310
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,464
Look, I tried to
give my speech, Julius.
311
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:52,119
Nobody cares about that.
312
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,949
This is makeup,
it's not heat,
313
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,516
it's not lights,
it's not clothes.
314
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,954
I don't know how you're going
to sell this stuff.
315
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:02,607
But either you gonna
get my money,
316
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,000
or I'm gonna
get my money.
317
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,959
Now, how are you going
to get your money?
318
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,439
I don't know,
but I'm gonna get my money.
319
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,267
You've got
to be kidding me.
320
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,356
What choice do you have?
321
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:15,359
My mother spent $35
on a new shirt for me to wear.
322
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:19,015
I can't take a picture
in lost and found clothes.
323
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:22,149
What'd you spend
on the pictures, $15?
324
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,890
Oh, she's gonna kill me.
325
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,630
You'd better take
this picture.
326
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,068
At least she'll have something
to remember you by.
327
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,070
NARRATOR:
The only thing Greg
was worse at
328
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,898
than fighting
was cheering people up.
329
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,074
It's not suede,
but it's not bad.
330
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,554
NARRATOR:
If I had known kids were losing clothes this cool,
331
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,079
I would never have gone
shopping in the first place.
332
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,689
Thank you. Thank you.
333
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,604
All right, go ahead
and take a spot
334
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,824
back by the girl in the pink
in the back row.
335
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:46,913
And you can sit
right here, buddy.
336
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,916
NARRATOR:
This looks like
the educated Wu Tang Clan.
337
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,134
All right,
338
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,049
smile.
One, two...
339
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:54,616
WOMAN:
Hold on one second.
340
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,053
Chris, will you step
into the hallway?
341
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:58,576
Go ahead. We'll wait.
342
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,408
What's going on?
343
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,628
He stole my shoes.That's my sweater.
344
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,673
That's my shirt.Those are my pants.
345
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,241
NARRATOR:
How the hell did he get home
with no pants?
346
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,940
I didn't steal them. I got them
from the lost and found.
347
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:16,116
Did you lose them?No.
348
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,552
Then you can't find them.
349
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,732
You'd better find something
to wear.
350
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,169
You can't take a picture
in your underwear.
351
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,215
[WHIMPERS]
352
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,131
NARRATOR:
I guess nobody ever
told Prince that.
353
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,176
[ALL MURMURING]
354
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,529
Where'd you get that?
355
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,575
Drama department.
356
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,882
I felt better
in my underwear.
357
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,101
Just stay back here.
Nobody will notice you.
358
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,408
Hey, kid, can you kind
of slide over some?
359
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:49,105
Who, me?Yeah, you.
360
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,238
[♪♪♪]
361
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,761
Nah, it's no good.
362
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,415
You know what?
Just come up front.
363
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,025
I'd rather stay back here.
364
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,158
Come on. Your mother
will be able to see you
365
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,638
and you won't be lost
in the back row.
366
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:03,859
NARRATOR:
My day was going bad, but my
mother's was going worse.
367
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,993
Ladies? Ladies, can I--?
Can I please get your attention?
368
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,821
Ooh, Rochelle,
this was just great.
369
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:13,390
Um, I gotta go,
but, uh, let me know
370
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,131
when you're gonna do this--
371
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,568
Oh, no, no, no, no!
You are not leaving! Sit down!
372
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:20,354
Oh!You too. Sit down.
373
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:22,617
We do not appreciate
being talked to like this.
374
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,271
Shut up!
375
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,360
Now I brought you here
to sell some Evonne,
376
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:29,667
and by damn it, I'm going
to sell some Evonne.
377
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:34,020
Rochelle, that is not the way
we sell Yvonne.
378
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,153
Be quiet.
379
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:38,850
Now let me ask y'all a question.
380
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,070
Why are you here?
381
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,117
To buy and sell Yvonne? No.
382
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:47,642
You're here because
you can't get a man.
383
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,862
We're here because
we don't need a man.
384
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,430
Didn't I tell you
to be quiet?
385
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:55,041
What?
386
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:57,173
Now, I know y'all say
y'all don't want a man,
387
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,132
and I know you say
you don't need a man,
388
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:01,003
but the truth is,
you can't get a man.
389
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:02,526
NARRATOR: What you talking about, Willis?
390
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,006
Look at her.
391
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,834
You don't think
she don't want a man?
392
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,619
Why do you think
she wears all this makeup?
393
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:11,927
Believe or not,
the heifer's 62 years old.
394
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,189
[ALL GASP]
395
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,322
But she looks good.
396
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:18,760
And if you want to look
like this when you're 62,
397
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:22,503
I suggest that you purchase
some Yvonne.
398
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:25,375
WOMAN: Get your wallet.Come on, baby. Please come.
399
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:28,248
Come here 'cause I saw the
dry scalp from across the room.
400
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,598
And you know what? You gotta
get this skin lighter here.
401
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,948
You know, it's always ashy.
No, let me tell you.
402
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,602
You gotta put it
on your hands.
403
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,039
Thank you so much.
It was great having you.
404
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,823
Girl, stop
stealing crackers.
405
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,434
Take care.All right now.
406
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,218
All right, girl,
no more chicken.
407
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,177
All right, take care
of that little boy.
408
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,743
I have to tell you
409
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,919
I've never seen anything
like this in my life.
410
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,486
You know what
we should do next?
411
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,140
We should schedule
another party,
412
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,142
but this time,
let's do it at my house.
413
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:56,667
Okay.
But-but, I still
want you to bring the chicken.
414
00:16:56,841 --> 00:17:00,019
Well, you know what?
That sounds really good.
415
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,629
Great. When
do you want to do it?
416
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:04,458
On your 63rd birthday.
417
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,290
Hey, is that my money?
418
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:14,294
This is your money.
This is my money.
419
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:17,558
NARRATOR: Women say that in divorce court every day.
420
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,389
You're blocking my light.
421
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,478
Drew, do you have my shoe?
422
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,697
I don't know what
you're talking about.
423
00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:29,004
Tonya, why you
in here fooling around?
424
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:30,788
You have a picture
to take tomorrow.
425
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,704
You need to be looking
for the other shoe.
426
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,532
Now!
427
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,404
[♪♪♪]
428
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,970
I'm sorry.
429
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,756
What? I couldn't hear you.
What'd you say?
430
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,759
NARRATOR:
Drew was never the type
to take advantage of people,
431
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:47,718
but Tonya had it coming, so he was gonna give it to her.
432
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,546
I said I'm sorry.
433
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,721
Sorry for what?
434
00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:53,115
Come on, Drew, dang.
435
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:55,335
I don't know what
you're talking about, Tonya.
436
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:58,468
I'm sorry
for breaking your car,
437
00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:00,862
and I won't mess
with your stuff anymore.
438
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,472
And you'll stay out
of our room?
439
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:04,213
Yes.
440
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,301
Good.
441
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:08,696
Now give me my shoe back.
442
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,698
I don't have your shoe.
443
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:14,005
NARRATOR:
All he wanted
was to see her crawl.
444
00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:16,704
Tonya.
445
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,012
Here.
446
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,493
Thanks.
447
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:26,670
NARRATOR:
Three hours later, Tonya set
his Voltron robot on fire.
448
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:32,023
Oh, Julius!
look at your baby girl.
449
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,678
She's so...JULIUS: She looks so good!
450
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,115
[GASPS]
451
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,943
Look at my handsome man!
452
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,120
Oh, you are just too fine
for words.
453
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:42,904
Look at him, Julius.
454
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,428
Look at that, how cute he is.Aw, man, so handsome.
455
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,648
Chris, where's
your pictures?
456
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:50,433
NARRATOR:
I hadn't told my mother
about the school picture.
457
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:53,219
But when they arrived,
I had no choice.
458
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:56,396
Now, before you look
at the picture,
459
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,788
I have to tell you
something.
460
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,225
What?
461
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:01,836
Somebody stole my clothes.
462
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,707
Somebody stole your clothes?
463
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,449
Why in the world would somebody
steal your clothes, boy?
464
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,757
I got one!
465
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:12,281
Ladies, ladies, please,
I'm signing as fast as I can.
466
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:13,543
Doyle only has one hand.
467
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,720
I don't think
you're gonna like them.
468
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:19,375
Chris, even if I don't
like the pictures,
469
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,377
it's not the end
of the world.
470
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,684
You are a handsome
young man,
471
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:25,773
and I love you
either way, baby, okay?
472
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:28,123
It cannot be
that bad.
473
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,691
NARRATOR:
Every now and again,
my mother made me feel
474
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:33,084
like I wasn't the biggest nerd in the world.
475
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,869
And for a moment,
I actually felt
476
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,176
like the picture didn't matter.
477
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,091
A lawn jockey?
478
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:43,399
You took your pictures
dressed as a lawn jockey?
479
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,706
What, they've run out
of monkey suits?
480
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:50,972
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
481
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,977
NARRATOR:
Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.
482
00:19:58,022 --> 00:19:59,937
[♪♪♪]
483
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:04,551
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
34877
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