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You can have all the olives you want, but the vodka?

Come on, baby.

You know you got to wait nine months for that.

I'm not pregnant. [sighs]

I met the surrogate mom-inator.

She was even more unhinged than Eva.

I think her name was Ana?

Weird. I'm sure Eva said her name was Leslie.

LESLIE: I want Ted

and Nicole to look back

and remember me toying with them.

And I want them to feel like damn fools.

That kind of power could be useful to you

when the time is right.

I don't take bribes.

Don't play stupid, Martin.

You know what I mean.

JAN: Derek's moving in with Ashley.

She just texted to let me know.

[sighs] Two people in that tiny apartment?

It is going to be crowded.

Especially if they have to find space

for their big old fireman's pole.

[laughing]

Wha...?

[laughter]

Oh, it's just that Mona is so funny.

You know what?

That is one of the things I love most about you.

Never thought of myself as all that funny,

but it's nice to be appreciated.

[laughter]

In fact, you know what?

Both of you mean the world to me.

You do.

And I wouldn't have been able to start over in a new city

if it hadn't been for your friendship.

Leslie, are-are you all right?

'Cause you're talking like you're never gonna see us again.

[light piano music playing]

Hey, babe, can you come here for a second?

Ted, what is this?

I thought we'd have a private pre-anniversary celebration

before the extravaganza tomorrow.

You are so sweet and thoughtful,

and I cannot wait to pop that bottle, but...

I understand. I know it's urgent.

I'll get you an answer right away.

We are having a little appetizer emergency.

They have to make a last-minute substitution.

Uh, how do you feel about chicken sauté

- instead of shrimp appetizer? - Sure.

Chicken sauté will be fine.

Yes. Thanks.

Bye.

Great. Problem solved.

Thanks, Eva.

Now, we can get back to that champagne?

Um, I'm afraid I can't let you two

have this little celebration.

♪ ♪

I'm impressed.

You made it halfway through lunch

without mentioning your ulterior motive.

Very circumspect, my darling.

Well, what's wrong with thinking you might enjoy

revisiting the sight of your triumphant return to the stage?

Let's start with: karaoke is not a real performance.

And yet it netted you a valid offer

for a real comeback concert.

- Vernon... - Why are you hesitating, huh?

The crowd loved you.

And your voice sounded just as glorious

as the first time I heard you sing.

My love, your ears must be biased,

because that's just not true.

My voice has aged, just like the rest of me.

Like fine wine.

When you spoke to the agent, you said you'd consider it

if Dani and Naomi accompanied you.

Have you even discussed the possibility with them?

Why raise the question

when I haven't decided to do it myself?

What's stopping you? Hmm?

And what will it take to get you to say yes?

I got a whole bunch more stuff in my car.

Uh, honey, I don't know how

we're gonna fit all of your things in this tiny apartment.

Babe, you knew I'd be bringing stuff with me.

Yeah, but I didn't know you'd be bringing your own furniture.

I thought you'd leave that ratty old chair

with your roommates.

Herbert goes where I go.

Of course you brought a chair with a name.

What was I thinking?

Herbie was the very first piece of furniture I bought

when I moved into my old place.

My chair buddy has great sentimental value.

Oh, and I have a lamp that will go perfectly in this spot,

instead of your funny-shaped vase.

No. I used a very big chunk of my very first paycheck

from the hospital to pay for this vase.

Right. So we can keep it somewhere

a little more out of the way.

Absolutely not. This vase is one of a kind.

- I mean, if it's even valuable. - Oh, it is.

Then maybe we should sell it,

make some money and free up space.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

[distorted grunting]

- [knocking at door] - [gasps]

How you doing, cousin?

Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.

I'm happy for the distraction. What's good?

I'm trying to figure out something,

and you're the person in the family

best qualified to give me advice.

Always happy to lend my expertise.

Great. I want to talk about threesomes.

I think you've confused being gay

with being in an open relationship.

Smitty and I are boringly monogamous,

so no threesomes.

Chill, Martin.

I'm not trying to make any assumptions

about your relationship.

I wanted to talk to you

because you're the only person in the family,

that I know of,

that's actually thought about their sexuality.

Most people just take it for granted.

So, what about threesomes?

The other night, I was with this husband and wife,

Craig and Allison.

It wasn't our first time we had been together,

but this time, Allison was more into me than Craig was.

Frankly, he ended up as more of a spectator.

Did that make you uncomfortable?

More the opposite.

It was exciting, and I just didn't expect it.

I kind of felt like I was letting Craig down

by not including him more.

Did he complain?

No.

[chuckles] I don't see the problem.

From what I understand,

straight men actually enjoy two women getting together.

I guess the problem is me.

I suddenly began to wonder what would happen

if I spent time with Allison one-on-one.

Get to know her a little bit better

outside of the bedroom.

So it's not the threesome.

It's the scariness of actually caring about one person.

I mean, I've been with women before.

You know, I like to keep my options open.

But I never really thought about what would happen

if it became more than just a casual hookup.

Meaning if you were gay or bi

instead of just experimenting.

I don't like limits or labels.

Or maybe being serious with anyone.

- Would you wipe that smirk off your face? - [chuckles]

This is too damn complicated.

You're certainly making it that way.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to tell me that everything I'm doing is okay.

Everything you're doing is okay.

I don't understand why you are so determined

to have me do this.

Because you were so happy

singing in front of an audience again.

It was like you discovered a lost part of yourself.

And I want you to feel that way all the time.

There's a whole new generation

that deserves to experience

the glory of you performing live,

just like I did.

But it wouldn't be like when you first met me, though.

I didn't start out as a solo act.

I was just one of the Articulettes.

There was nothing better than singing with those girls.

I mean, yes, I had more fame and success as a solo artist, but...

those women were my sisters.

And honestly,

what I loved most was performing with them.

And I suppose in some hypothetical universe...

...if we were to sing together...

...maybe I'd consider performing again.

I think an Articulettes reunion is a wonderful idea.

We should mention it to the agent.

Um, it's not that simple.

The breakup of the group was far from amicable, and...

I am not proud of the way I treated Tracy and Sharon.

I don't even know if it'd be possible,

to make up for what I've done.

[chuckles softly]

Hey, honey, you know, I already have a shower caddy,

so there's just no place to hang this one.

Yeah, but yours is full of all your girly products.

I need space for my body wash and shaving cream

that doesn't smell like chrysanthemums.

There's just no room.

I can install a hook in the shower,

hang it from the ceiling.

Yeah, I suppose that'll work.

Of course it will.

As long as we compromise, everything will work.

Hey, uh, what shift did you pull tomorrow?

- Me, too. Which means

we're both gonna need the shower at the same time.

God, I forgot how tough it is when we have to deal with that.

I wish we had a second bathroom.

Well, did you also forget

how much fun it is for us to share a shower?

Okay.

I'm seeing major advantages to living together.

I was watching social media and they were saying

how important it is to let your friends know

how much they mean to you on a regular basis.

It-it sounded like a good idea to me.

I guess it wasn't.

- No, no, it is, it is. - Mm-hmm.

I'll go next.

I am so happy that I have you and Mona as my besties.

You guys keep me sane.

- LESLIE: Oh. - MONA: Really?

[laughter]

Our friendship is a blessing to me, too.

[chuckling]

Oh, I better get back to the house.

There's so many last-minute things to do

before the anniversary party.

Yeah, I bet that party is going to be a really big deal.

You know it. Nobody does a gala like the Duprees.

They practically invented them.

Or at least gave them a glow-up.

If you're headed out, I'm gonna go check in on Ashley

and see if she needs any help with the big move.

All right.

Now, Eva, I know you don't want to keep me

from enjoying special quality time with my beautiful wife.

That is the last thing I want to do.

But it is my job to make sure

that everything about this party goes off without a hitch.

And unfortunately, I need Nicole's help to do that.

Of course you do. Let's get it done.

But I hate disappointing Ted.

I mean, the champagne, the strawberries...

It's the most romantic thing I've ever seen.

I don't think I'll ever have what you two have found.

Don't say that.

You are just as capable as anyone

of finding a loving and happy relationship.

I don't think that's in the cards for me.

I'm the one men leave, not the one they choose.

Eva, I don't want you to think like that.

You just haven't met your person yet.

One day, you'll be planning your very own anniversary party

with your very own family.

You sound so convincing.

I almost believe it could happen.

[keys rattling]

JAN: Ashley?

What in God's name is outside your door?

Catering correction. Flowers. Sound system.

I think we have a completed list.

- Hallelujah. - [laughter]

Now, Eva, you can go on home and relax.

Doctor's orders.

Well, I'll leave you two to your strawberries.

Thank you.

TED: Bye, Eva.

Bye, Ted.

Now I have you all to myself.

Let me feed my beautiful woman.

- MONA: Nicole? - NICOLE: Uh...

Mona. Of course.

I'm so glad you're both here.

I wanted to let you know,

I am giving the rest of the household staff tomorrow off.

I figured you might want some privacy after your party.

[laughter]

Privacy is always appreciated.

I also wanted to talk to you about some discussion

that the gardener and I have been having

for how to update the look of the backyard.

L-Let me just pull up a few images.

Now, I want you to know that I'm not married to any of this.

There are plenty of different options.

No time like the present.

Thanks for meeting with me, Granddad.

Sorry if I seem a little frazzled.

It's been kind of a complicated day.

No problem, Martin.

What did you want to talk about?

LESLIE: Oh, my.

Are you...? Oh, of course you are.

You must be the senator, Vernon Dupree,

and Congressman Martin Richardson. Oh.

Yeah. I'm flattered you remember me.

Pleased to meet you, ma'am.

Oh. Oh, the pleasure's all mine.

And I am so honored. [laughs]

Uh... [clears throat]

You look like you'd appreciate a nice brownie.

- I-I love brownies. - LESLIE: It's just a gift.

Just a little gift, that's all.

I mean, I didn't mean to intrude.

Actually, I normally don't talk to strangers,

but I am such a huge fan of the Duprees.

And I just had to come over here and-and say hello.

- I'm so excited. - Thank you. I...

No, you. You, and you!

All of you. All of the Duprees.

Do you know what role models you are to me?

How y-you...

You actually inspire me.

You do. I mean, I know it sounds crazy,

but I think of you all the time.

I think about everything you represent.

I mean, really, who else

would make sure that Bigfoot

is getting privacy when he's hiking?

Or that Atlantis stays under the water, where it belongs?

Oh, my goodness.

I just, I just want to say thank you.

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

Because if it wasn't for you... [gasps softly]

...truly, my life wouldn't be what it is today

without the Duprees.

Oh!

[squeals] The Duprees!

[camera clicks]

[laughing]: Okay. Oh, my gosh.

♪ ♪

ASHLEY: Mom, you have to start knocking

instead of just letting yourself in.

I guess so, now that I might be interrupting something.

It's not about that. It's just simple privacy.

I think its eyes are following me.

Yeah, they do that.

Maybe I should have left it in the hallway.

Does he have a name, too?

Name a stuffed moose head? Come on, Ash.

I won him in a raffle at the station.

I kept him tucked away in the garage at my old place.

It's not really me.

Just didn't have the heart to tell the guys that, though.

Well, so it's not really me, either.

So it's not going on the wall of my apartment.

Uh, it's our apartment, remember?

- Of course she does. - [Ashley chuckles]

I know it can be a little rough when you start living together.

Lucky for you two, I am here to help

smooth out any little bumps.

Compromise is the magic word.

Maybe you two could start compromising

by keeping the moose head.

But putting it in the closet. I'll make room for it.

No, Mom, you'll mess everything up in there.

Nonsense. I have a great sense of spatial relationships.

It's like my superpower. We can make this fit.

Mom, stop. I have everything organized

according to a system!

I'm just trying to help.

Am I supposed to adhere

to this anal shelving system?

[clears throat] Do you have a system of your own?

Yeah, I put stuff where there's space.

Which is a sure way to make sure there never is any space.

Look, I'll train you on my system, it's very easy.

I-I don't need a lesson on how to put things on shelves.

Children, I suggest that you divide

the closet in half, and each of you can organize

their sections the way they see fit.

- No. - No.

At least you agree on something.

ALLISON: Chelsea. Hi.

Are you too busy, or would you like some company?

Hey, Allison.

Your text was a nice surprise.

I mean, too bad Craig's at work and can't get away.

Oh, no worries. I actually wanted to talk to you alone.

That sounds like trouble. But I like it.

Should I, should I be concerned?

No. No.

Okay, act-- I'm actually concerned now.

What's up?

It's the other night.

I can't stop thinking about it.

What happened between us was incredible.

I agree.

I mean, the two of us, without Craig.

It was different than any other night

I'd spent with you two,

which is usually more of a... group project.

I mean, the group element was the part

that interested you the most, you said.

A-And Craig and I love variety.

I mean, it's the spice of life, after all.

Yes, and we had fun.

But I enjoyed this particular spice

much more than I expected.

And...

...I might want to experience that again,

without other added ingredients,

if you catch my drift.

I think I do.

So...

...would that be something you might be interested in?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey. So do you think that this wig

matches my dress?

Or maybe I should try another one?

If I didn't know any better,

I'd say you were trying to impress the Duprees.

Impress them? Girl, please.

I could wear a garbage bag

and still run circles around Nicole.

What's three plus three?

It's six, and that's not the phrase.

It's "What's four plus four?"

Ate! Ah, thank you.

I agree your mama is eating this wig.

But I think I'm gonna swap it out

and give Miss Tina a break here.

Mmm.

You should go with whatever makes you feel the best.

Oh, I always do.

Mm.

So guess who I saw.

Congressman Martin Richardson

and the almighty Vernon Dupree at Orphey Gene's.

And I made sure they noticed me, honey.

I got all up in their faces

and acted like I was a fawning groupie,

and I just let them know how much I just love the Duprees

and how amazing they are, and...

Mama, I thought this was all about Ted.

Why are you making it about the Duprees?

- Well... - Look, the bigger this thing gets...

Calm down already, okay?

Always catching an attitude for no reason.

This is not having anything to do with our plan, all right?

I know all about the Articulettes.

Honey, please.

I lost my virginity with Anita playing in the background, baby.

Okay, please tell me you're kidding.

About which part?

All of it. You are playing with fire.

You look mighty pensive over there, son.

Been thinking about my constituents.

People like that woman who was talking to us before.

They've put their faith in me.

And you've justified their belief in you, Martin.

When I'm awake, I believe that.

The dream, huh?

It's back, for the first time in a while.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Do you know what triggered it?

I ran into Bill earlier.

Maybe that helped the memories come back.

It's not like they're that far away.

I hate that Bill Hamilton is involved in this...

but the one good quality he has

is that he can keep his mouth shut,

at least when it's to his benefit.

Is Bill's mouth one reason you argued against my running?

I do have reservations

about you running for president, Martin.

Is it possible that your concerns about running

brought the dream back?

Could be.

I've been so worried about Tyrell

that maybe that was a distraction.

But now that my son's issues seem to be resolved,

it's given space for my old demons to return.

And I'd give anything

for a way to get rid of them for good.

Don't leave a girl hanging out here

with her heart on her sleeve like that.

Here's the thing, Chelsea.

Craig and I are a unit.

We wear matching fits. We do 5Ks.

We have a pact to only go to new restaurants with each other,

and we've always partied together.

I understand that.

And I want to respect any boundaries

that you have in your relationship.

But, I mean, it's not like we have

any hard-and-fast parameters when it comes to that.

You know, in fact, our marriage is happy

because we're free to do what we like

outside of each other, too,

as long as we're transparent.

Well, in the spirit of transparency,

I got to keep it a buck.

I'm feeling you, Allison.

And I was nervous as hell to have this conversation.

Come on. Aren't we past playing coy?

I mean, in some ways, yeah, but this is different.

The way you read me and anticipate my needs,

the warmth that I feel when I hug you.

The way I cannot stop thinking about the other night.

And I was worried how you would react

to me telling you how I really feel.

And hand to God,

I don't want to offend your relationship,

but I just couldn't stop myself from reaching out.

And I'm falling hard, huh?

You're not alone in your feelings, Chelsea.

I can't deny that I feel a spark, too, you know?

In and out of the bedroom.

So if you're okay with Craig knowing all about it,

then I'm definitely open to a solo encounter with you.

I am more than okay with that.

- I have something else to ask. - Mm?

How about we get a little wild first?

Ooh, surprise me, baby.

How about we have a real talk?

A real conversation?

See what lies beneath the connection IRL?

I think we could both use a drink after today.

Moving is supposed to be one of the great traumas of life.

And you weren't even the one moving.

And yet...

- Hi, guys. - ASHLEY: Hi. - DEREK: Hey.

- Good to see you. - ASHLEY: Good to see you.

- You look so pretty. - ASHLEY: You look gorgeous.

- What's going on, bro? - ASHLEY: As always.

You look happy.

That's because I am back to practicing

the type of law that will let me sleep at night.

I'm gonna have no problem conking out, that is for sure.

Yeah, you do look a little worn out, bro.

I didn't hear about any fires on the police scanner.

No, no, I was doing something much more stressful

than dousing flames.

Moving in with Ashley.

JACOB: Okay.

I think I'd enjoy getting to know you out of bed.

How about we order some appetizers and cocktails?

NAOMI: Chels. Hi.

You and your friend should come join us.

I mean, the more the merrier.

Mama, you do know Martin and Vernon never wronged us.

Oh, I know.

Ted's the one that used me and threw us both away.

But when it all comes down to it,

it's really that Nicole Dupree's fault.

I mean, Ted couldn't give up that glamour

and status of hers, but...

Except it's really not her glamour and status.

I mean, it's not like she earned it, right?

I mean, the child was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.

And that's because she had

a senator daddy and a diva mom.

Hmm.

So, the way I see it,

all that suffering and abandonment

that you and I experienced

is really the whole Dupree family's fault.

And they deserve to pay.

I guess, in a karmic sense, that might be true.

No, baby, literally.

They need to pay.

In, like, cash.

And I bet they'd be willing to ante up

to preserve Ted's reputation, which, of course,

will protect their precious Nicole from scandal.

Once we reveal it to the world, we lose our leverage.

So, in order to maximize our power,

we have to take our time,

milk them for every penny we can get,

and then once we've bled them dry,

ooh, we can blow Ted's secret

sky high, baby! [laughs]

I wish we could talk to someone with expertise

about your issues.

Mom would be the most logical choice.

No, we...

couldn't bring Nicole into this.

We don't want to burden anyone else with this secret

who doesn't already know.

No, there's too much at stake, Martin.

Not just for you, but for the whole family.

Believe me, I know.

And I hate keeping secrets from Smitty,

but this is my responsibility.

God knows, I brought it on myself.

Allison, I know we just met,

but is there any chance I could interest you

in acquiring a stuffed moose head?

Hey, come on.

ASHLEY: Derek and I just moved in together,

and his taste in decor is just...

It's a little questionable.

- [laughter] - ALLISON: Mm.

We just are going to need an adjustment process.

- Yeah. - ASHLEY: We could probably use some advice

from the married folks.

Well, Jacob and I lived together before he put a ring on it,

and I was nervous about how we'd get along,

but it went smoothly from day one, right, baby?

Yep. And I'm nobody's fool.

I wasn't about to mess this up.

Allison, you seem to be one of the married crew.

Got any sage wisdom for us?

Um...

I mean, based on my experience,

as long as you communicate about everything,

even when it's difficult, you'll be fine.

Well, Derek's disorganization and pack rat tendencies

are gonna make things difficult, all right.

I guess opposites really do attract.

TED: Now, if anyone else comes to the house,

I'm gonna physically kick them out.

What if it's my mother?

Quick, let's make this toast.

To the most beautiful woman in the world.

To the love of my life.

To my reason for living.

To the most handsome, kind

and romantic man I have ever met.

I am grateful every day that I married you.

Mmm.

Mmm.

This is the beginning

of what will be truly an epic anniversary celebration.

- Mmm. - Mm.

Mama, you're probably right.

Blackmailing the Duprees would be a smart move,

financially speaking.

Exactly.

I mean, we'll live here a little longer

while lining our pockets.

I mean, look at all this stuff.

Don't you want to leave this apartment?

I mean, don't you think we deserve it?

Yes, but honestly,

I don't think you could stay quiet that long.

- Excuse me? - You cannot resist

poking the Dupree bear.

- Mm. - I mean, look at the way

you talked to Kat about me.

And went up to Vernon and Martin this afternoon.

Besides, this whole anniversary party was your idea.

And I've worked 24/7 for weeks

to make it the kind of gala you claim to want,

that you want to look perfect for,

even though you won't admit it.

It's never been solely about the money for you.

We were fine without money.

Tell me I'm wrong.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

[keys jingling]

Hey, Mama, what are you doing?

Oh, hey. [chuckles]

Oh, nothing, baby.

About to make dinner.

You in the mood for some spaghetti?

I'm always in the mood for your cheesy spaghetti.

- [laughs] - But I can't stay.

Oh, you have another client appointment?

You know who has been texting me all day?

Mm-mm, not... not that child.

What's her name? Shonda.

She messed up another blowout?

You know these girls can't maintain

their hair after I do it.

Spend all this energy and effort,

and they can't be bothered to tie it up at night.

- You okay? - Yeah. Yeah, I'm great.

No, I'm not.

Mm.

I'm tired of you working long days on your feet.

We're barely getting by.

- Alan's insurance. - No, honey, please.

This-- [scoffs] They pay his medical bills.

Maybe.

But i-it's time for us to have the life we want, baby.

All right, this hand-to-mouth thing is not working.

Something has to change.

I can get a second job.

I-- Yeah, so could I, mm-hmm.

But what will that do? How will that help us?

You deserve better. I deserve better.

Mama. It's okay.

There are people out there that are living their lives.

They are stepping high in cotton.

[laughs]

And everything was just handed to them,

laid right there in their lap.

That's what I want for us.

Oh, baby. For us to spend

every single day living life.

Walking tall and living large.

How is that gonna happen?

Oh, well, you know, your mama is gonna figure it out.

Mm-hmm.

But in the meantime,

you call me when you get off from work,

and we are gonna have some dessert.

Mama, we can't afford dessert.

W-We're gonna take the time to make our lives be

what we desire them to be, hmm?

Aww. [laughs]

Mm.

It's about the truth, Eva.

Justice.

We had to live a lie, for decades.

You had to grow up without a biological father.

I had to live a mediocre life with a mediocre man,

when I was supposed to be

this rich, respectable doctor's wife.

Not the mediocre life that Ted made me accept.

But you have a point.

You do.

We can't live off of revenge, right?

Yeah, we are going to have to make sure we air

all of Ted's dirty laundry.

Because he put us in this position.

He did that.

And it's gonna be so much fun

finally settling the score.

Captioning sponsored by CBS

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

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