All language subtitles for Ballers (2015) - S03E08 - Alley-Oops (1080p BluRay x265 Kappa)

♪ Kane is in the building, nigga... ♪

♪ Now tell me how you love it,
you know you at the top ♪

♪ When only heaven's
right above it, we on ♪

♪ 'Cause we on ♪

♪ Who else is really trying
to fuck with Hollywood Cole? ♪

♪ I'm with Marley G, bro ♪

♪ Flying Hollygrove chicks
to my Hollywood shows ♪

♪ And I wanna tell you something
that you probably should know ♪

♪ This that "Slumdog
Millionaire" Bollywood flow ♪

♪ And, uh ♪

♪ My real friends
never hearing from me ♪

♪ Fake friends write the wrong
answers on the mirror for me ♪

♪ That's why I pick and
choose, I don't get shit confused ♪

♪ Don't like my women single,
I like my chicks in twos ♪

♪ And these days all the
girls is down to roll ♪

♪ I hit the strip club and all
them bitches find the pole ♪

♪ Plus, I been sippin', so this
shit is moving kinda slow ♪

♪ Just tell my girl to tell her
friend that it's time to go ♪

Sync & corrections by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com - BluRay Sync by kOoL tHuG

- Morning, sailor.
- Good morning, honey.

Have you seen my toothbrush?

Mm, yeah, it's in the shower.

Cool, I was gonna check the shower

after I checked the
microwave and the dishwasher.

I always brush my teeth in the shower.

I see that. You might wanna try

brushing your teeth on your side
of the sink using your toothbrush.

It's pink. I got it for you.

I could put "Chloe" right
there on the handle if you like.

Well, I like your electric jobbie

'cause it works great as a vibrator

on those lonely nights
when you're not home.

Ah, okay, well, I'll buy
you one of those, too.

Lighten up.

You're the only one that
I'm using as a sex toy.

Thank you, I hope so, baby.
Listen, I gotta tell ya,

in less than a week, you've
completely rearranged my kitchen...

Oh, you try finding
cereal in that cupboard.

Look at my bathroom counter.

It looks like the
makeup counter at Sephora

after a massive fucking earthquake.

- Okay, this?
- Mm-hmm.

This doesn't happen without a workout

and a little war paint, okay?

- Want some coffee?
- I do.

I want more than coffee.

- Hey, Doc.
- Hello, Mr. Strasmore.

This is Dr. Dester's office.

He'd like you to come in
for your results today.

You know, I wish I could make it,

but I have a company
retreat that I can't miss.

Oh, those are fun. Well, let us
know when your schedule clears up.

Hold on, is there any way that
you could give me the results now?

For situations like yours,

Dr. Dester prefers to talk in person.

It's not cancer, is it?

The test was for sperm count.

Right, uh,

well, listen, I mean,
how did it come back?

Did it come back average, above average,

off the fucking charts? Tell me.

You're welcome to come in at
11:00 and find out for yourself

or you can just let your
imagination run wild for a week.

Okay. Okay, okay, fine.

Fine, I'll see you soon, bully.

Could life get any better?

Yeah, if you pass that
motherfucking bottle.

Oh, what are we drinking? I love it.

Good drink. I'll take it easy, though.

Okay. Hello.

♪ Pick up the phone, baby! ♪

♪ I know you're home, baby! ♪

♪ I'm in the zone, baby. ♪

What's crackin', ace?

Where the fuck have you been?

Uh, where I can always
be found... cloud nine.

Make that nine and a half.

Great, well, now it's time to touch down
on planet Earth and deliver that land.

I'm selling my company.
It's the least you could do.

Shit, Strasmore's
going all in. I love it.

Maybe you should come kick it
with Travis and I at the casino

since you're in such a gambling mood.

Too busy pulling rabbits
out of my ass, Wayne.

Might have to give you a residency, too.

Look, stop fucking around, okay?

The owners are gonna meet
in about a week and a half,

and if we don't get our shit together,

this whole fucking thing can go south.

Relax, we're golden with the land.

All right, did you pick up

those abandoned projects
north of the Strip?

That spot's a dump.

So, you're gonna put up your golf course?

My father dropped dead
on that course, buddy.

It's a monument to the Hastings name.

There are over 500 monuments around
the globe in the Hastings name, Wayne.

- Who gives a shit?
- And Daddy dropped dead on one of them,

so you can back off it now.

Okay, Wayne,

I just wanna know exactly where
we're gonna build this thing, huh?

- That's it.
- I'm meeting with the seller later on.

Will send pics once we're locked.

Hope your phone has 4K.

Okay.

Fuck.

It's a good thing that
they diagnosed you.

It earns us another
chance with the Pats.

Yeah, the team can't cut ties with
you just 'cause you batshit crazy.

Bipolar, bipolar.

It's a bad look to put you
out on the streets.

Pssh, being diagnosed as bipolar

is one of the few things that
actually makes sense this off-season.

Keep taking your pills,
stick at it with therapy,

the Pats will commit to you long term.

Man, I ain't fucking
with these pills, J.

- It'll affect my performance.
- On the field or in the sack?

- Both.
- You don't take the pills,

you don't suit up.

Well, what's it matter if
I'm too doped up to do my job?

I'm sure they're not that bad.

Shit, T, Google the side effects.

The fuck I look like, Siri?

So sensitive.

"Common side effects may
include, but are not limited to

fatigue, nausea, vertigo,

diarrhea, constipation,
and sexual dysfunction."

Right, that sounds fun. I'm
gonna be walking around here

tired, limp, dizzy, and
shitting my own pants.

That sounds crazier than punching
some white kid in the face.

There's no guarantee you'll have
any side effects at all.

Don't worry about it.

I mean, if there are, they could just
give you more pills to fix that shit.

I'm glad everybody's
so concerned about my health.

Oh, fuck me.

More bad news?

Yeah, but not for you. For Charles.

- Ooh.
- Thank God.

Pass me one of them grapes, cuz.

You got it. Bam!

Well, we're always looking for
new talent to boost our staff.

- Yeah.
- So, you know what?

I'll let you guys
talk it over privately.

Great! Thanks for the tour, Lydia.

- Yeah, you're welcome.
- Thanks so much, Lydia.

All right, bye-bye.

Text you later. Ooh!

She's impressive. This
whole place is impressive.

- Jeez, you're really slurping the Kool-Aid.
- I'm not slurping anything.

I'm just saying our employees are
gonna be very comfortable here.

- It's nice and stable.
- Fuck, I just don't think our staff

is gonna fit in with
IMG culture, you know?

I mean, Byron has more porn
on his hard drive than I do.

Phil is borderline homicidal.

Natalie, precious, little Natalie, okay?

Every Friday, she goes into the bathroom

- and sniffs Wite-Out before happy hour.
- Wow.

And Marcus curses more in casual
conversation than you or I combined.

That is fucking impossible.

I don't know, it just feels like
our outfit is a band of misfits,

you know, who...

- who excel at unconventional warfare.
- Mm-hmm.

And that's why we love
them, by the way, you know?

That's why we love our company.

Yeah, well, you know,
they're also survivors, okay?

They're gonna be fine
wherever they land,

whether it's here or... thank
you very much... or anyplace else.

What about our clients? How are
you gonna drop the bomb to them?

Ricky, Vern, Charles,
Sizzle, Antonio, Suh.

I will handle it. I got
it all under control.

We need the appraisers
over at ASM by 2:00 p.m.

- Did you set the diversion?
- Yeah, I rented the Ritz ballroom

for ASM's meditation retreat.

A real bitch finding a Zen master
on short notice, by the way.

What the fuck happened to going down
to the Keys and getting plastered?

Oh, please, come on, you
don't fire a drunken mob.

Phil will fucking shiv you.

At least this way,
they'll learn coping skills

before you drop the bomb.

Oh, listen, that reminds me...

No, don't! No. Don't say
that you're gonna be late.

I'm gonna be a little late.

- Ugh!
- It's all right.

I just can't cancel my lunch with Chloe.

- Chloe?
- Yes.

Ugh, here. God damn. What,
are you two all shacked up now?

Well, it fucking seems that way,

but she's in town just for business.

Oh, well, that's good.

You can still get rid of her.

I'm not getting rid of her, Joe.

Yeah, you will. I mean, you always do.

Look, I gotta go set this shit up.

Hey, don't you fucking dare

make me do your dirty work for you.

Why the fuck do you
say it like that for?

- I never do that.
- All right.

I might get one of these things.

Oh! Shit.

Coughlin and Smith have had success
with schemes similar to ours,

but I believe it's
Lions' OC, Jim Bob Cooter,

who's the future leader of this team.

If Stafford hadn't gotten hurt,

the Lions would've made
some noise in the playoffs.

Yeah, didn't they finish bottom third

in the run game during that span?

It's a passing league.

A high-flying offense is what it
takes to compete with the Pats.

We got the pieces.

Now we just need the right
man to put them together.

You got more important
business, sweet cheeks?

No. No, sir.

Wife seems to think that
Kiki may have allergies.

They got all-natural antihistamines

at the Whole Foods on 10th Street.

Thank you.

I'll let her know as
soon as we're done here.

Good.

Care to offer any thoughts?

Oh, yeah, I like where
you're going with this.

- Cooter.
- I don't want a yes man, Charles.

Tell me what you really think.

All right, with the emergence of
Ajayi and the addition of Kisan,

we got a serious two-headed
monster in our backfield.

We can't abandon the run.

Winning sells just as many tickets

as chunking the ball up 40 times a game.

Who you got in mind to
lead this running attack?

Larry Csonka.

Absolutely not.

Then, as I said the first time,

I think Cooter's the guy.

Me, too.

Hey, can I get your cell phone?

- Ugh.
- I know, I know.

- Gotta take the cell phone.
- Oh, Joe!

- You have no idea how much this means.
- Cool, man.

Yeah, I was on the verge
of a full-on meltdown.

Well, you've been working
really hard, you know?

So maybe this will give you
some balance and perspective.

Yeah, I was gonna shoot someone.

Not you, of course.

Someone bad like the
homeless guy at my ATM.

- Yeah, put your cell phone in the basket.
- Oh. Okay.

- Yo, yo, yo, motherfucker!
- Shh, shh, shh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm ready to do this shit.

- I bet you are, I bet you are.
- Yeah.

And afterwards, we crush the hotel bar.

- All right, we do it.
- I brought a gram of snizz.

Namaste!

Okay.

Hey, Nat.

I gotta take the cell phone.

I can't do that.

- Hmm?
- My little Beyoncé is sick with a cold.

The sitter might call, so.

Ah, look, this is just gonna
be for a short time, I promise.

You know? And so, I'm sure
your daughter's gonna be fine.

- Beyoncé's my pit bull.
- Oh.

Where's the bathroom?

Nat, come on, it's not even 5:00 yet.

Why don't we try meditation
before we resort to that, you know?

- Okay.
- Yeah. And you know what? Keep the phone.

- Thank you.
- Don't tell anybody.

- I won't.
- Okay.

- Oh, God.
- You ain't getting my phone.

I don't want your fucking phone.

So, you running this show today?

Yeah, right.

- Imagine?
- Mm-mm.

But I found the most reputable
Zen master on the East Coast.

Hoo! Sorry I'm late.

Biscayne Blvd. was a fucking nightmare.

- Oh, hi, Virginia.
- Maximo?

That's right, Maximo.

- He's certified.
- In what?

Everything you need.
Just give him 12 hours.

Jesus Christ.

- My God, the irony.
- Yeah.

I'm much better with vaginas, Doc.

- Let's hope so.
- I'm sorry.

No, don't worry about it,
don't worry about it.

- Have a seat.
- Okay.

Uh, so, I'm good, right?

I, uh... I mean, I've never
actually gotten a, um...

gotten a woman pregnant before,

but I'm sure with the scroll of
lovely ladies I have in my phone

that one of my swimmers
accidentally hit land,

considering I had this one three-peat

at the Pro Bowl back in 2011.

You went to the Pro Bowl
three times in a row?

No, come on, Doc!

Travis Scott?

♪ I just hit a three-peat ♪

♪ Fucked three hoes I met this week. ♪

Except I did all that in a weekend.

Well, according to your test results,

you do have functioning swimmers.

- Great.
- Yes.

They're just more Ryan
Lochte than Michael Phelps.

Okay, Olympians. Great.

They're declining at a rapid rate.

- Okay.
- Could be genetic

or could be lifestyle choices.

I mean, excessive
drinking, heavy stress,

substance abuse, smoking, cycling...

No, I mean, look, Doc, I haven't ridden
a bicycle since I was 11 years old

and I've never had a
cigarette in my life.

Well, according to Dr. Robbins' file,

three of those factors are in play.

Right, well, I am working very hard

at weaning myself off the booze

and, um... and getting
rid of all the pills.

I mean, and plus, right after this,

I'm going to a meditation seminar.

All positive steps, but
the damage is already done.

No, don't say that, Doc.

Come on, don't say that.

I mean... I mean, look, man, I've...

I've given my life to a fucking game

that doesn't give a
fuck about me anymore.

The only chance that I
have for any kind of legacy

and not be a goddamn ghost

is to have a goddamn kid.

That is literally the most selfish thing

I have ever heard anyone say.

And I have 10-year-old twins.

But at least you are honest.

Yeah, to a fault.

- Well, how much time do I have left?
- You're not dying.

But if you are serious about
having a child for any reason

other than the one you just gave,

I suggest you hop on your
pony and ride, cowboy.

Mr. Charles, there he is.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Cooter ain't the guy.

Well, your boss says he is.

He's wrong, and his obsession
with the aerial attack

is gonna reverse all
the progress we've made.

We need to focus on our power run game.

The Falcons would've won the Super Bowl

if they'd have just ran the ball.

But then look at the Patriots.

LeGarrette Blount led the
league in rushing touchdowns.

We need a Blount
offense... pun intended.

You know, I don't
appreciate you coming in here

and telling me how to
run my goddamn team.

I'm just giving you the straight truth.

I feel like a man in your
position deserves that.

Look, Charles,

you know ticket sales have never been

a part of our decision-making, right?

Then you best inform
your general manager,

'cause that's the tack he's taking.

Now, if we wanna build on last season,

we need to hire the man

that helped lay the
bricks for Miami's success.

Shula's retired,

Griese has a radio gig,

and Marino... Marino has
no interest in coaching.

But Larry Csonka's
right under your nose!

Think about it... players
love and respect him,

and he has command of the locker room.

And don't let that sunny
disposition of his fool you.

That man has the fire and the experience

to coach this team to a division title.

Csonk's a great coach.

- He's loyal.
- Mm-hmm.

I've been thinking about him.

A little bit past his prime.

They said the same thing about Arians.

He won Coach of the Year honors

two out of his first three seasons.

- Siefert didn't buy it?
- Wouldn't even hear me out.

We probably could've handled
that Coach Berg situation

- with a little more class.
- You think?

I'm the one that had to fire the guy.

Siefert didn't even do it himself?

No, sir.

He didn't have the guts.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Still down for a late lunch?
- Uh, not anymore.

Niki Nakayama's insisting that we
taste all 13 of her Kaiseki dishes,

and Wayne wants me
back in Vegas first thing.

Jesus, that's kind of sudden.

Yeah, well, he's impulsive like that.

Kind of reminds me of another

ambitious businessman
that I'm close with.

Listen, Chloe, I would really
love to see you before you leave.

How about we have a couple
of drinks tonight, huh?

My retreat ends around 9:00.

Baby, I'm sorry. I am
on the last flight out.

I'm gonna send somebody by
tomorrow to grab my things.

At least spend the night.

I promise I'll make it worth your while.

Could this possibly mean
eye contact while we do it?

Yes, I'm gonna deliver a deep,

loving gaze into your soul.

Well, now that you got
me all hot and bothered,

I'll see what I can do.

Okay, great.

Why settle for great

when we can make America spectacular?

Welcome to your new home, Raider Nation!

Welcome to Wayneville!

Our careers can consume our lives.

Stress levels rise.

Relationships suffer.

We drink too much. We self-medicate.

All damaging behaviors,

both physically and spiritually.

- But it's fun as balls!
- Marcus.

We try to numb all the pain
that the pressure and fear create.

The fear of failure and inadequacy.

But not missing out.

Marcus, one more time
and you're fucking done.

I mean it.

That fear creates a deep-seated anger

that can't be treated with the
breathing and chanting exercises

that we've been practicing thus far.

And that concludes this
portion of the meditation.

On my count... three, two, one.

And open your eyes.

Wow!

But sometimes anger requires
a more visceral outlet.

That leads us to the rage room.

What's the rage room, huh?

Max, tell these guys what
happens in the rage room.

Anything you like short of starting
a fire. Destroy everything in sight.

Piss on the floor. Shit on the desk.

- Anything within good taste.
- Yeah.

All part of the healing process, right?

- Who's first?
- Me, me! Yep, right here.

Marcus, sit down.

Please! Let me lay waste to it.

Phil, I think you should do some
more deep breathing exercises first.

Just... you can get in
there, but let's just...

what, Natalie, you wanna go in?

Great, get on up here.

Here she comes.

- It's gonna be good.
- Yay!

♪ This goes out to all
my Mile End friends ♪

♪ And my PARC-Ex connects... ♪

Choose your weapon.

- This one.
- Or just the tiny, little Axe.

- Look at you, full of surprises.
- Whoo!

- Natalie!
- All right.

Whoo!

Here she goes.

No, Natalie,

I told you, Beyoncé can wait.

- We talked...
- Uh...

All right, Phil, go ahead.

Yes!

- Ah, fuck, Phil, come on.
- Yeah, okay.

Hey!

Whoa!

Yeah!

Whoa, yeah!

All: Oh!

Byron says there are
some weird men appraising the office.

Is that why you brought us here?

Are you getting rid of us?!

Woman: Seriously?

- Come on.
- What's going on?

Ah, shit.

I have no idea.

Excuse me.

- Hey.
- Jesus Christ.

If this qualifies as meditation,

I should be a lot less
stressed right now.

Shut the... shut the fuck up.

Cat's out of the bag.

- Fuck, you told them we're selling?
- Fuck, no!

Byron saw the appraisers at the office.

- He texted everybody.
- Shit.

I know. Listen, hey,
are we really doing this?

You're goddamn right
we're really doing this.

Wayne's already got the
land. It's fucking beautiful.

And IMG came in with an amazing offer.

Yes, we're doing it.

I don't know, it's just...
obviously, the company

means more to them
than we thought it did.

And, really, if we sell,

the only people that stand to
benefit are you and Anderson.

Staff's out on the street,

our clients are stuck with new handlers.

Joe, this Vegas deal gives us a
greater stake in the league, okay?

Makes us legit.

We become more powerful, we
could help out the players,

we can fucking influence the game.

We sell ASM, it gives me an opportunity

to pay back Ricky and Vernon

and it gives you half of
the remaining $4 million.

I'll give you that, that
the Ricky and Vernon thing...

wait, I get $2 million?

Yes, you get $2 million.

Half of fucking four, yes.

Wow, okay.

Uh, well, what are we gonna do for them?

They're gonna have a
healthy pot to split as well.

Okay? Everybody wins.

Okay.

There it is, baby.

♪ Yes, Lord, ooowee ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

- ♪ Hey, huh ♪
- ♪ Ooowee ♪

♪ I bet you feel so high,
got your head in the clouds ♪

- ♪ But you still come around like ♪
- ♪ Ooowee ♪

♪ I see what you started... ♪

When I first came into this job,

I had the best of intentions
and zero experience,

but I learned something
about this business

from each and every single one of you.

I mean, you guys are the reason

why ASM has become such a
successful and profitable firm.

Because you care more about your clients

than any other company out there.

But it's that success that has
caught the attention of IMG.

And IMG has officially put
an offer out on the table

to purchase our ASM.

So it's with great thought
and consideration

that Mr. Anderson and I have decided

to sell the division.

Damn it.

Being associated with
a firm of IMG's stature

can only benefit all of your careers.

And I've put together a very
healthy, um, parting gift.

Whoa, whoa, what parting gift?

He's talking about a severance.

I'm talking about a payout

from the massive sale
that is gonna happen.

And you know what?

Each of you deserves it.

This is bullshit.

As soon as the papers are signed,

those corporate whores will clip us.

- Is that true?
- Maybe, maybe not.

But... but, hey, here's what I do know.

IMG, they're all good people,

and I put in a really
good word for you guys.

Look, if they come in and they
decide to do a clean sweep,

guess what, I'm gonna be right there

helping all you guys get
right back on your feet.

- Okay?
- Fuck that.

Come on.

Nothing good about your word.

You know, that went a lot fucking worse

than I... than I anticipated.

I don't know how we could
expect anything else.

Fuck me. Something I said?

I'm sorry I left you hanging today.

Huh? Oh. Oh, forget it.

I'm just as responsible as you are.

It's just that, I don't know, man.

If this is the right thing to do,

then why do I feel so shitty?

I bet that $2 million is gonna
help you feel a little bit better.

Little bit.

I have done a lot worse
for a lot less, right?

Fucking right, you have.

But you were a man of the people.

You fought for our clients,

you protected them, you stood by them,

you stood by me,

by every single person in that office.

You even helped Anderson
when he really needed it.

Yeah.

But I'm afraid that

somewhere in this wild
pursuit of a mega-stadium deal,

you've become just as
aloof and just as greedy

as those asshole one-percenters
we used to despise.

♪ I don't really care if you cry ♪

♪ On the real, you
should've never lied ♪

- ♪ Should've saw the way she... ♪
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I wouldn't get rid of those, man.

I don't need them, Pop.

You ain't even gonna try?

All I've been doing.

Trying to hold it
together, keep it in check,

hang on to the man that I am.

I don't wanna take these
and turn into somebody else.

People don't like who I am, fuck
it, they should just stay away.

Man, the Jerret men have taken
that route for generations.

What... what are you talking about?

Man, our family crazy as a motherfucker.

Big Walt, my daddy?

Nigga lived life like
a fucking maniac, man,

till somebody picked up a gun
and shot him dead in a bar.

And before that,

his daddy drank himself to
death in his living room.

Look, Ricky, every bad trait I have

has come straight down the chain.

Now, don't be hardheaded
about this, son.

So, if the doctors think that those
things can do some good for you,

give it a try.

I mean, there's no reason to end up like

all the other Jarret men.

You ain't turned out so bad.

Well, I had help.

Yeah.

Hey, man, I started taking
these before I came to see you.

- Jesus Christ.
- And that was the best decision

I ever made, and I owe it to medication.

You ain't got to get back on that
field and catch Tommy's bullets.

No, I don't.

But if I was a fool, I
would say neither do you.

♪ Medicine, little nigga, take some ♪

♪ Fast car, NASCAR... ♪

♪ Temporary light... ♪

- Hey.
- Hey!

This how you planned to
spend your time with me?

Half in the bag feeling
sorry for yourself?

It's not me I feel sorry for.

Yeah, well, this happens
on the next level.

People get hurt all the time.

You just have to keep
your eyes on the prize.

Yep.

Come here, sit down.

Let me ask you something.

Am I a greedy person?

Do I want too much?

Well, as much as I would
love to say that you are...

you're actually not.

Most of the time, you
think things through.

You feel the consequences.

You have a conscience,

which is more than I can say

about most men in your spot.

Come here.

Right here.

♪ So I think I'm coming down... ♪

♪ And freedom to fly ♪

♪ Said his heart's ♪

- ♪ Built with holes inside... ♪
- Oh, God. Oh, God.

♪ But I still see stars
in your eyes... ♪

Oh, God.

Oh, fuck.

Did you just...?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

♪ Headlights roll by ♪

♪ But I'm still chasing time ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Will you still be mine ♪

♪ When morning comes? ♪

♪ We'll be fine ♪

♪ Oh ♪

- ♪ Oh ♪
- ♪ We'll be fine ♪

♪ I said I think I'm coming down ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. ♪