All language subtitles for 3rd Rock from the Sun S04E11

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,604 MAIL'S HERE. 2 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,938 AH, THE MAIL. 3 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,708 WHAT WOULD A DAY ON EARTH BE LIKE WITHOUT THE MAIL? 4 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,209 PROBABLY A LOT LIKE SUNDAY. 5 00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,878 AH! HA HA. 6 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,112 "SALLY SOLOMON, 7 00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:17,015 "YOU HAVE BEEN PREAPPROVED FOR A PLATINUM CREDIT CARD. 8 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:21,820 ONLY OUR MOST VALUED AND CHERISHED CUSTOMERS QUALIFY FOR PLATINUM STATUS." 9 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,988 YOU GUYS, I QUALIFY FOR PLATINUM STATUS! 10 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,224 SO DID I! ME TOO! 11 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:27,859 HELLO, FAMILY. 12 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:28,794 HEY, MAIL'S HERE. 13 00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,295 AH, THE MAIL. 14 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:33,298 WHAT WOULD A DAY ON EARTH BE LIKE WITHOUT THE MAIL? 15 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,501 PROBABLY A LOT LIKE SUNDAY. 16 00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,737 YOU KNOW, THAT'S VERY CLEVER. HARRY. 17 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:39,971 UH, WAIT. I SAID THAT. 18 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,640 OH, REALLY? 19 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,609 HOW SAD. 20 00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:48,147 OH, THIS ONE'S ADDRESSED TO "MR. RICHARD SOLOMON." 21 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,481 MY, HOW FORMAL. 22 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,983 "DEAREST RICHARD, 23 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,319 "I HOPE WITH ALL OF MY HEART THAT THIS LETTER FINDS YOU. 24 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:57,022 "TOO MANY YEARS HAVE GONE BY. WE MISS YOU GREATLY. 25 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,358 "PLEASE COME TO THE SOLOMON FAMILY REUNION THIS YEAR. 26 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,094 ALL OF MY LOVE, AUNT FLORENCE." 27 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:03,495 DICK, YOU NEVER TOLD US 28 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,029 YOU HAD AN AUNT FLORENCE. 29 00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:06,131 HE DOESN'T, YOU MOOK. 30 00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,432 THAT LETTER WAS OBVIOUSLY MEANT 31 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:08,833 FOR SOME OTHER DICK SOLOMON. 32 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:11,003 WELL, I'LL JUST CALL UP THIS AUNT FLORENCE 33 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,070 AND SET HER STRAIGHT. 34 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,071 GREAT SCOTT! 35 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:16,008 I'VE QUALIFIED FOR PLATINUM STATUS! 36 00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:21,980 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY 37 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,626 CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC. 38 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:54,379 PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE 39 00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,884 YES, HELLO. IS THIS FLORENCE SOLOMON? 40 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,119 HI, MY NAME IS DICK SOLOMON. 41 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:06,391 I-I'VE GOT THIS, UH, INVITATION TO A FAMILY REUNION, AND I-- 42 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,061 WELL, YES, IT'S NICE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, TOO, BUT-- 43 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:14,399 YES, I AM AS ADORABLE AS I ALWAYS WAS. 44 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:18,237 HAS IT REALLY BEEN 43 YEARS? 45 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:23,342 THEN, IF I DID TURN UP, 46 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,078 YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME, HUH? 47 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,981 THAT'S-- 48 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:33,585 YES, IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL TO SEE THE FAMILY AGAIN, AUNT FLORENCE. 49 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,587 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 50 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,588 YES... 51 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,323 YES. BYE-BYE. 52 00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,760 I HAVE AN AUNT FLORENCE. 53 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,261 WHAT? 54 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:46,098 WHAT? OH, THAT WAS AUNT FLORENCE IN INDIANA. 55 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:48,734 SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE AN AUNT FLORENCE IN INDIANA? 56 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:51,303 SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE AN AUNT FLORENCE IN INDIANA? 57 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,270 I DON'T. 58 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,938 SO WHERE'S THE BIG COINCIDENCE? 59 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,174 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES, NINA, YOU MAKE NO SENSE. 60 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,343 ARE YOU GONNA VISIT HER? 61 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,512 WE HAVE A FAMILY REUNION THIS WEEKEND. 62 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,948 IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE WONDERFUL. YOU WANNA COME? 63 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,316 ARE YOU SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT? 64 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,717 WELL, OF COURSE IT'S ALL RIGHT. 65 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:06,785 OH, DICK, IT'S FAMILY, I-- 66 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,119 NO, DON'T WORRY, MARY. 67 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,955 I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND MY FAMILY 68 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,689 TO BE WARM AND NURTURING. 69 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,624 IT WON'T BEAR ANY RESEMBLANCE 70 00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,627 TO THE LIQUOR-DRENCHED ORGY OF HATRED AND RECRIMINATION 71 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,997 THAT MARKS EVERY ALBRIGHT GET-TOGETHER. 72 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:28,707 SALLY, WE'RE NOT SPENDING THE WHOLE WINTER AT THIS REUNION. 73 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,375 BACK OFF, ALL RIGHT? I'M NOT LIKE YOU GUYS. 74 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,245 I CAN'T JUST THROW IN A TOOTHBRUSH AND A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR 75 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,479 AND BE SET FOR THE WEEKEND. 76 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,849 UNDERWEAR! 77 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,122 WELL, IS EVERYBODY READY TO GO TO OUR FAMILY REUNION? 78 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,924 DICK, THIS IS NOT OUR FAMILY. 79 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,392 YEAH, WHAT IF THEY START ASKING QUESTIONS? 80 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,894 YEAH. WELL, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF THIS. 81 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,597 AUNT FLORENCE HASN'T SEEN RICHARD SINCE HE WAS 5 YEARS OLD. 82 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,831 FOR ALL THEY KNOW, I'M HIM. 83 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,233 WELL, AS A TEENAGER, 84 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,503 THE IDEA OF GOING TO A FAMILY REUNION SICKENS ME TO MY CORE. 85 00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,937 TOMMY, UH... 86 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:02,740 WE'VE BEEN HERE ON EARTH FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS, 87 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,343 AND WE STILL LACK SOMETHING THAT'S SO IMPORTANT TO US-- 88 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,945 ROOTS. A CONNECTION. 89 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,881 LIFE HERE IS NOT JUST ABOUT WHERE WE'RE GOING, 90 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,916 IT'S ABOUT WHERE WE'VE COME FROM. 91 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,284 NOW WE'D BETTER GET ON THE ROAD. 92 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:16,187 YOU KNOW HOW AUNT FLORENCE HATES IT WHEN WE'RE LATE. 93 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,029 [DING-DONG] 94 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:26,964 AUNT FLORENCE? 95 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,133 YES? 96 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,467 IT'S ME. RICHARD. 97 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:30,468 RICHARD? 98 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,205 OH, MY GOODNESS! IT IS YOU! 99 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,206 ABE! IT'S RICHARD! 100 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,242 WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED! HA HA! 101 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,878 HA HA HA! WELL, WELCOME BACK! 102 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,579 AND WHO ARE ALL THESE LOVELY PEOPLE? 103 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:45,850 WELL, THIS IS MY SISTER, YOUR NIECE SALLY. 104 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,053 AND THIS IS MY SON, YOUR GRANDNEPHEW TOMMY. 105 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,889 AND THIS IS MY BROTHER, YOUR NEPHEW HARRY. 106 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:51,890 YAAH! HARRY! 107 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:56,728 AND THIS LITTLE HOTTIE IS MY GIRLFRIEND MARY. 108 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,230 NICE TO MEET YOU, FLORENCE. 109 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,965 RICHARD, COME GREET THE FAMILY. 110 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,433 THEY CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. 111 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,669 OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM. 112 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,240 UH, WELL, WE BROUGHT YOU THIS. 113 00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:09,908 IT GOES GREAT WITH STEAK. 114 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:13,945 AT LEAST IT DID LAST NIGHT. 115 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,179 YOU CHEAP BASTARD, 116 00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,048 YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN AROUND HERE. 117 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,650 BUNCH OF TIGHTWADS? 118 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,119 TIGHTWADS? DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH THIS FAMILY. 119 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,287 COME HERE. 120 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,588 IT'S ME, RICHARD! 121 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,759 OH, IT'S ME, RICHARD! 122 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,027 OH, THIS IS SO GREAT. 123 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,495 I JUST OPENED MY ARMS, 124 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,765 AND I'M HUGGED AND KISSED AND PINCHED BY ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE. 125 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,368 THERE ISN'T EVEN A COVER CHARGE. 126 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,603 WE'RE FAMILY, RICHARD! 127 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,439 FAMILY. IT'S ME, RICHARD! 128 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,542 OH, IT DOES MY HEART GOOD TO SEE HIM BACK. 129 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,145 IT'S FUNNY. HE NEVER MENTIONED ANY OF YOU. 130 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,679 WELL, GIVEN ALL THE TROUBLES, 131 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,548 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE HIM HERE AGAIN. 132 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,618 WHAT TROUBLES? 133 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,156 HI. 134 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,358 HEY. 135 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,226 HEY. 136 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,498 THAT'S A GREAT TOP. 137 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,566 YOU THINK SO? 138 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,701 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR. 139 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,969 OH, NO, IT'S-- IT'S PERFECT. 140 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,971 OH, THANKS. I LIVE WITH A BUNCH OF MEN, 141 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,306 AND THEY WERE NO HELP AT ALL. 142 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,008 YEAH. HA HA. 143 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,543 HEY, I'M MICHELLE, MARTHA'S DAUGHTER. 144 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,079 OH, HI, I'M SALLY, RICHARD'S SISTER. 145 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,947 NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU, TOO. 146 00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,315 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 147 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,484 MY SWEATER WOULD GO SO GREAT WITH THAT TOP. 148 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,719 OH, YOU WANNA TRY IT ON? 149 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,987 SURE. 150 00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,457 OH, YEAH. DEFINITELY HIP. 151 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,992 COOL. HA HA. 152 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,761 HEY, YOU WANNA WEAR MY SHOES? 153 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,665 I'VE GOT A PAIR OF SOCKS I'M NOT USING. I'LL GO GET 'EM. 154 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,744 IT'S, UH, POT ROAST. 155 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,180 OH, WOW. I WAS WAY OFF. 156 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,417 HI. I'M JANINE. 157 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,185 I'M TOMMY. 158 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,354 SO... 159 00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:04,155 [BORED] THIS IS PRETTY FUN, HUH? 160 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,356 OH, YEAH. 161 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,291 HEY? YOU WANNA GET OUTTA HERE? 162 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,427 OH, YEAH. COME ON. 163 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,963 AUNT SYLVIA: AUDREY MADE HER FAMOUS AMBROSIA. 164 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,199 YOU BETTER HURRY, IT'S GONNA GO. 165 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,369 SWEET WOMAN, THAT SYLVIA. 166 00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,704 YEAH, SWEET. BUT DUMB AS A DOORKNOB. 167 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,042 AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH HER KIDS. 168 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,044 MMM. ROCKET SCIENTISTS, HUH? 169 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,645 OHH, YOU GOT IT, PAL. 170 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:31,049 WELL, DOORKNOBS BEGET DOORKNOBS. 171 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,554 [HACKING IN UNISON] 172 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,258 IT'S ME, RICHARD! 173 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:42,894 FELLAS... 174 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,562 IT'S ME, RICHARD! 175 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,600 OH, YOU'RE NOT HUGGERS. I UNDERSTAND. 176 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,135 RICHARD, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU REMEMBER ME. 177 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,470 I'M YOUR COUSIN JACOB. 178 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,673 JACOB, OF COURSE. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 179 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,775 IT CERTAINLY HAS, DONUTS. 180 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:57,909 DONUTS? 181 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,910 WAS THAT MY NICKNAME? 182 00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:01,246 SURE. DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 183 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,014 I WAS DUTCH, AND YOU WERE DONUTS. 184 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,015 DONUTS? 185 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,650 THIS GUY ONCE ATE 2 DOZEN DOUGHNUTS... 186 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,421 AND PUKED 'EM UP ON GRANDMA LILLIAN'S WIG. 187 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,823 DONUTS. 188 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,491 SAY, YOU'RE RUNNING ON EMPTY THERE, DICK. 189 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,759 LET ME, UH, GET YOU A DRINK. 190 00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,261 SOUNDS GOOD. FELLAS, 191 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,729 LAST CHANCE FOR HUGS. 192 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,565 OK. CATCH YOU LATER. 193 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,700 SO, DICK, 194 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,569 IT'S BEEN A WHILE. 195 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,771 I WOULD'VE COME SOONER IF I'D KNOWN WHAT I WAS MISSING. 196 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,674 I'LL BET YOU WOULD'VE. 197 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,776 WE'VE DONE ALL RIGHT SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AWAY, HAVEN'T WE? 198 00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:35,046 OH, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY KINDS OF DIP. 199 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,449 COME ON, COUSIN. 200 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,951 YOU CAN BE STRAIGHT WITH ME. 201 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:43,188 WHAT REALLY BRINGS YOU BACK HERE AFTER ALL THIS TIME? 202 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,857 I CAME TO MEET MY FAMILY. 203 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,292 RIGHT. 204 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,729 BOY, YOU ARE SOME PIECE OF WORK, DICK. 205 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,197 WAIT. UH... 206 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,066 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? DUTCH? 207 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,634 IT'S ME, DONUTS! 208 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,905 HE TOLD YOU GUYS NOT TO HUG ME, DIDN'T HE? 209 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,975 SO, SALLY, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 210 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,310 YES, I DO, MICHELLE. 211 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,711 HIS NAME IS DON, 212 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:07,979 AND HE'S A COP. 213 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,647 OH, COPS ARE SO HOT. 214 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,482 OH, YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT. 215 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,985 AND I GOT ME THE HOTTEST ONE. 216 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,252 HEY, CHECK HIM OUT. 217 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,995 HANDS OFF, HON. HE'S MINE. 218 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:30,000 YEAH, WELL, MY BOYFRIEND JUST WORKS IN A CAFETERIA. 219 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:33,838 HOLD UP. DOES HE WEAR ONE OF THOSE COOL CAFETERIA UNIFORMS? 220 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,607 YEAH. AND AREN'T UNIFORMS SEXY? 221 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:37,609 WELL, YEAH. 222 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,010 ALL RIGHT THEN! 223 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:44,749 OH, YOU ARE SO COOL. I JUST FEEL LIKE I CAN TELL YOU STUFF. 224 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,517 YOU KNOW, KINDA LIKE YOU'RE MY... 225 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,518 MY SISTER. 226 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,027 SO, JANINE... 227 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,531 DO YOU, UH, 228 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,165 HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 229 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,268 NO. 230 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,404 BUT I'M LOOKING. 231 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,873 WELL... 232 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,374 LOOK NO FURTHER. 233 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,278 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 234 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,113 MAKING MY MOVE. 235 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,115 TOMMY, WE CAN'T DO THAT. 236 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,650 WE'RE, LIKE, COUSINS. 237 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:22,653 OH, YEAH. ABOUT THAT, SEE... 238 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,490 THE THING IS, THAT'S NOT REALLY ILLEGAL OR ANYTHING. 239 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,058 IT'S JUST...TABOO. 240 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,794 OH, MY GOD! 241 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,462 I'M, LIKE, SO CREEPED OUT. 242 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,531 WAIT, WAIT. WE'RE VERY DISTANT COUSINS. 243 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,734 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW DISTANT WE ARE. DISTANT! 244 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:42,073 OH, MARY, THE ODDEST THING JUST HAPPENED. 245 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,408 I THINK ONE OF MY RELATIVES TOLD ME OFF. 246 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,576 WAS IT JACOB? 247 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,411 HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? 248 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:50,247 DICK, HOW MUCH DID YOUR FATHER TELL YOU 249 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:53,417 ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN HIM AND THE FAMILY? 250 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,086 NOT A LOT. 251 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,089 H-HE LOST HIS MOUTH IN THE WAR. 252 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:00,925 YOU BETTER SIT DOWN. 253 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,095 DICK... 254 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,430 WHEN YOUR FATHER FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR MOTHER, 255 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,399 SHE HAD JUST ARRIVED FROM LITHUANIA. 256 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,335 SHE WAS POOR, SHE DIDN'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH. 257 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,937 THE FAMILY DIDN'T APPROVE OF HER. 258 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:13,938 MOMMY? 259 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,606 ANYWAY... 260 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:19,276 YOUR FATHER WAS FORCED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER AND THE FAMILY, 261 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,444 AND HE CHOSE HER. 262 00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:21,445 DADDY? 263 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,848 SO THE FAMILY... DISOWNED HIM, 264 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,616 AND IT WAS JACOB'S FATHER 265 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,019 WHO CUT HIM OUT OF THE FAMILY FURNITURE BUSINESS. 266 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,488 CAST OUT ONTO THE STREET BY HIS OWN FLESH AND BLOOD? 267 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,290 MY GOD, MARY. 268 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,059 MY FAMILY IS DESPICABLE. 269 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,961 AH, YOU GET USED TO IT. 270 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,434 THEY GAVE YOUR MOM AND DAD THE BOOT, HUH? 271 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,103 SALLY, IT'S OUR MOM AND DAD. 272 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,871 IT'S NOBODY'S MOM AND DAD! 273 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,874 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OUR FAMILY WOULD DO ANYTHING SO HEARTLESS. 274 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,977 DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS FAMILY. 275 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,881 ROGER'S A DRUNK. 276 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,483 DARREN HASN'T PAID TAXES 277 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,684 SINCE THE EISENHOWER ADMINISTRATION. 278 00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:04,655 COUSIN MARTY'S GOT HIS OWN WEBSITE-- 279 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,657 NAKEDMARTY.COM. 280 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,829 WHY DON'T WE JUST ADMIT TO THEM THAT WE'RE IMPOSTORS? 281 00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:12,830 YEAH, RIGHT. 282 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,331 YOU JUST WANT US TO COME CLEAN 283 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,067 SO YOU CAN GO SUCK FACE WITH YOUR COUSIN. 284 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,835 YEAH, WELL, AT LEAST I HAVEN'T DELUDED MYSELF 285 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:19,170 INTO THINKING I HAVE A SISTER. 286 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,306 HEY, YOU LEAVE MISSY OUT OF THIS. 287 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,673 I'M CURIOUS. 288 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:27,478 DOES THIS FAMILY HAVE A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS? 289 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,348 WELL, THERE IS A TOUCH OF DEMENTIA ON MY FATHER'S SIDE. 290 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,185 OH, THAT EXPLAINS A FEW THINGS. 291 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,686 DICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 292 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,687 I HAVE TO TALK TO JACOB. 293 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,688 WELL, CALM DOWN. 294 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,689 JACOB, WE HAVE TO TALK. 295 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:39,924 HERE IT COMES. 296 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,993 I'VE HEARD SOME THINGS ABOUT THE FAMILY 297 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:42,994 AND THE BUSINESS-- 298 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,129 SO YOU FINALLY WORKED UP THE MARBLES 299 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:46,530 TO GET AROUND TO IT. 300 00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,765 SO, THIS IS ABOUT THE BUSINESS. 301 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,200 WHO'S SHE, YOUR LAWYER? 302 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,202 OH, NO, I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND. 303 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,136 OH. 304 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,271 NOT MARRIED? 305 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,739 THAT'S CURIOUS. 306 00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,274 LOOK, DICK, 307 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,909 YOUR FATHER LEFT THIS FAMILY, 308 00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,344 AND MY FATHER WAS RIGHT TO CUT HIM OUT OF THE BUSINESS. 309 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,480 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED TO A PENNY. 310 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,015 YOU THINK I WANT MONEY?! 311 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,184 WELL, BY THE LOOKS OF THAT CAR YOU ARRIVED IN, 312 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,085 I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED. 313 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,320 I WOULD HAVE YOU KNOW 314 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,723 THAT I'M QUALIFIED FOR PLATINUM STATUS! 315 00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,958 SO I'D ZIP IT IF I WERE YOU! 316 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,161 OH, PLEASE. WE SHOULDN'T GET PERSONAL. 317 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,596 I'D STAY OUT OF THIS, HONEY. 318 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,165 HONEY?! 319 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,268 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU A THING OR TWO, HONEY. 320 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,403 WHOEVER DID YOUR ELECTROLYSIS... 321 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,670 MISSED A SPOT! 322 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,074 HOW DARE YOU?! 323 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:31,209 COME ON, JACOB. 324 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,243 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT! 325 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,978 HIDE BEHIND HER APRON STRINGS. 326 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,814 OH, PLEASE, RICHARD. YOU'RE ACTING JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER. 327 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,149 DAMN STRAIGHT, AUNT FLORENCE! 328 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,317 DAMN STRAIGHT! 329 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,957 [PLAYING CLARINET BADLY] 330 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,692 MAN, I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK. 331 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,962 I FINALLY MEET A HOT GIRL-- WHO LIKES ME-- 332 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,163 AND SHE TURNS OUT TO BE MY COUSIN?! 333 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:57,268 WELL... HAPPENS TO A LOT OF GUYS, KIDDO. 334 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,738 JANINE. 335 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:04,241 WAIT A SECOND. JANINE SOLOMON? YEAH. 336 00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:06,310 WELL, THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY. 337 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,413 UNCLE ABE TOLD ME SHE'S ADOPTED. 338 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,782 ADOPTED? ARE YOU SURE? 339 00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:15,452 OH, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HER FATHER'S LOW SPERM COUNT. 340 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,790 HARRY! I COULD KISS YOU! 341 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,895 WELL... 342 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,296 HE'S A GOOD KID. 343 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,132 HORNY, BUT GOOD. 344 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,102 HEY, SALLY, CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET? 345 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,903 SURE, MISSY. OF COURSE YOU CAN. 346 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,206 I'M A VIRGIN. 347 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,641 WOW. 348 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,642 I KNOW. 349 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,811 REALLY? WOW. 350 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:43,581 I REMEMBER WHAT THOSE DAYS WERE LIKE, YOU KNOW. 351 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,918 FEELING LIKE I WAS THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH WHO HADN'T HAD SEX. 352 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,220 WONDERING WHAT IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE. 353 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,588 WHEN DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY? 354 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,156 AH, A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. 355 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,960 WOW. 356 00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,663 YEAH. SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 357 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:02,533 I DON'T KNOW. UH, THE RIGHT GUY. 358 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,001 OH, MY GOD. 359 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,337 THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID. 360 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,438 THAT IS SO COOL! 361 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,175 LOOK, I'M TELLIN' YA. 362 00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:12,676 I HEARD YA. 363 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,681 FAH! YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. 364 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:21,352 AH! I SHOULD LIVE SO LONG. 365 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,853 BRAUGGGHH! 366 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,389 YAAAH-AGGH! 367 00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,591 JANINE. THERE YOU ARE. 368 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,127 I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. 369 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,663 I KNOW. I'VE BEEN AVOIDING YOU. 370 00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:32,997 NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 371 00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:35,166 SEE, IT'S OK IF WE KISS BECAUSE WE'RE NOT RELATED. 372 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,269 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 373 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,369 YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED. 374 00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,706 ADOPTED? 375 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,142 [NERVOUS LAUGH] NO. NO WAY. NO, I'M NOT. 376 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,245 YEAH, SURE YOU ARE. EVERYBODY KNOWS IT. 377 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:50,949 SO, UH... YOU WANNA MAKE OUT? 378 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,817 MOM! 379 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,520 YEAH. YOU JUST CONFIRM IT WITH YOUR MOTHER 380 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,522 AND, UH, GET BACK TO ME. 381 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,761 THEY'RE RIGHT. YOU CAN'T GO HOME AGAIN. 382 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,898 SO MUCH FOR "FAMILY" AND "BROTHERHOOD" 383 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,433 AND "HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS." WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! 384 00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:12,437 NOW YOU KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN COMING FROM. 385 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,205 YOU GO HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, 386 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,574 YOU SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE WINDOW. 387 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,209 EVERYTHING LOOKS SO IDYLLIC. 388 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,244 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S YOUR MOTHER 389 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,213 SWINGING A 5-IRON AT YOUR FATHER'S HEAD, 390 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,682 AND THE TREE'S IN THE EGGNOG. 391 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,484 HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT? 392 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,086 I REPRESS. 393 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,387 REPRESSION IS THE KEY TO A HAPPY FAMILY. 394 00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,857 DOESN'T SOUND VERY HEALTHY. 395 00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,492 IF YOU YELL AND SCREAM, 396 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,327 YOU END UP SOUNDING LIKE YOUR MOTHER. 397 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,263 I'M GONNA GO GET ANOTHER DRINK. 398 00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:41,766 DIDN'T YOU JUST FINISH ONE? 399 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,001 GET OFF MY BACK! 400 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,773 HEY, SO, DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GO LIGHTER? 401 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,507 HONEY, IF YOU DO, I WILL KILL YOU. 402 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,944 MICHELLE! 403 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:53,945 JENNY! 404 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,212 [BOTH SHRIEK] 405 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,880 MICHELLE? MICHELLE? 406 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,082 MICHELLE! 407 00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,917 HUH? 408 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:00,852 WHO'S THAT? 409 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,286 OH! OH! 410 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:03,421 WHY, SALLY, THIS IS JENNY. 411 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,689 HI, JENNY. HI. 412 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,457 SHE'S MY SISTER. 413 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,525 SISTER? 414 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,693 HOW'S BOOTY? 415 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,194 OH, BOOTY'S GREAT. 416 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,128 WH-WHO'S BOOTY? 417 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,464 HEY, DID YOU SING TO THE LAKE YET? 418 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,665 YOU GUYS SING TO THE LAKE? 419 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,400 OH, YEAH. EVER SINCE WE WERE KIDS. 420 00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:19,069 OH, GREAT! LET'S GO DO SOME LAKE SINGIN'! 421 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:22,673 UH, WELL, IT'S KINDA JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US. 422 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,142 ARE YOU SURE I CAN'T HELP? 423 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,545 I MEAN, THAT'S A--A BIG LAKE, 424 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,080 AND I'M REAL LOUD. 425 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,249 UH...IT'S OK. 426 00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,852 YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THIS SORT OF STUPID SISTER THING. 427 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,153 [AWKWARD LAUGH] 428 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,199 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, 429 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,501 GET READY. HERE WE GO. 430 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:55,173 OHH! [MUTTERING] 431 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,244 [SARCASTIC] THIS WAS SOME GREAT IDEA, DICK. 432 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,279 YEAH, I CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK NEXT YEAR. 433 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,782 DICK, YOU WANNA TELL YOUR FAMILY TO STOP WHINING. 434 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,851 NO. JUST SMILE AND REPRESS. 435 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,118 SMILE AND REPRESS. 436 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,119 ALL RIGHT NOW, EVERYBODY. 437 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,921 COME ON NOW, SQUEEZE TOGETHER. 438 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,022 SQUEEZE TOGETHER, THAT'S GOOD. 439 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,357 GOOD. HA HA. 440 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,525 ALL RIGHT NOW... 441 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:15,693 EVERYBODY... 442 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,027 SMILE! 443 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,498 OHH! 444 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,134 I CAN'T SMILE! I HAVE NOTHING TO SMILE ABOUT! 445 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,135 I HATE THIS FAMILY! 446 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,770 RIGHT BACK AT YA, DICK! 447 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,405 AND I SO WANTED TO BE PROUD OF YOU. 448 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,307 [BITTERLY] MY FAMILY. 449 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,878 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME WARMTH AND UNENDING LOVE. 450 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,381 INSTEAD YOU GIVE ME A PUNCH IN THE GUT AND A COLD TUNA MELT! 451 00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,482 WELL, I'VE HAD IT! 452 00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,517 AND SO I TAKE MY LEAVE OF THIS HELLHOUSE 453 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,119 JUST LIKE MY FATHER BEFORE ME! 454 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,287 BYE-BYE NOW. 455 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,723 I'D PACK YOU A DOGGY BAG, BUT I SAW HER 456 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,991 STUFFING THE HORS D'OEUVRES INTO HER POCKETS. 457 00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,561 DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF. IT WAS THE SILVERWARE. 458 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,898 EXCUSE ME. WEREN'T YOU LEAVING? 459 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,932 OH, BELIEVE ME, WE'RE LEAVING. 460 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,901 [ALL TALKING AT ONCE] 461 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:05,642 HEY! HEY! HEY! 462 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,446 WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE? 463 00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:12,750 YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT A LITTLE NEWS FLASH FOR YA. 464 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,251 DICK, JACOB, 465 00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:18,055 BOTH YOUR FATHERS WERE WORLD-CLASS PAINS IN THE ASS. 466 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,824 AND YOU KNOW WHAT I ADMIRE ABOUT 'EM? 467 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,092 THEY'RE BOTH DEAD! 468 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,631 AND RIGHT NOW, I WISH I WAS WITH 'EM. 469 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,266 AMEN TO THAT! 470 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,101 40 YEARS LATER, 471 00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:33,104 YOU TWO MORONS ARE STILL CARRYING ON THE SAME GRUDGE?! 472 00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:34,505 GIVE IT A REST! 473 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,507 WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER? BOO-HOO! 474 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,742 SUCK IT UP. YOU'RE FAMILY! 475 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,944 DON'T GET ME STARTED. 476 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,414 HARRY, 477 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,883 YOU ARE SO RIGHT. 478 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,453 THIS TIME LAST WEEK I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A FAMILY. 479 00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:53,156 AND NOW HERE I AM, READY TO REJECT YOU ALL 480 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,459 JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T MEET MY STUPID EXPECTATIONS. 481 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:58,061 YEAH, YOU GUYS HAVE BOTH GOT A POINT. 482 00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,464 THIS FAMILY'S BEEN SPLIT UP TOO LONG. 483 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,999 IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY ANYMORE. 484 00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:07,204 DICK, YOU MAY NOT BE MY KIND OF GUY, 485 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,072 BUT YOU'RE A SOLOMON. 486 00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:11,976 AND THERE'S NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT THAT. 487 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,877 SAME HERE, JACOB. 488 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:17,248 YOU MAY BE KIND OF CREEPY, BUT YOU'RE FAMILY. 489 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,617 COUSIN? COUSIN. 490 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,084 WELL, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. 491 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,452 OH, JACOB! 492 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,660 AAH! 493 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,995 GET AWAY FROM ME! 494 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,500 WELL, GOOD-BYE NOW, SALLY. 495 00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:37,768 BYE-BYE, JENNY. 496 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,203 IT WAS REALLY GREAT MEETING YOU, SALLY. 497 00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,504 YEAH, YOU, TOO, MICHELLE. 498 00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,672 HEY... 499 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,675 IF ANYTHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO JENNY... 500 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,344 YOU KNOW? 501 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,080 GIVE ME A CALL. 502 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:55,753 GOOD-BYE, RICHARD. I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME. 503 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,523 IT'S NICE TO BE ONE FAMILY AGAIN. 504 00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,192 OH, IT SURE IS. 505 00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,192 GOOD-BYE, SYLVIA. 506 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,194 GOOD-BYE. 507 00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:04,695 YOU KNOW, MARY, 508 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,231 THE GREAT THING ABOUT REDISCOVERING YOUR ROOTS IS 509 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:10,701 YOU SUDDENLY HAVE A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF PEOPLE TO BLAME 510 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,536 FOR, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING. 511 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,205 HARRY. 512 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,206 ABE. 513 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,442 I WANT YOU TO HAVE THESE. 514 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,312 OHH, THAT'S SO NICE. 515 00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:24,282 AWW, I'M GONNA MISS YOU, UNCLE ABE. 516 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:27,818 OH, DON'T GET ME STARTED WITH THAT EMOTIONAL CRAP. 517 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,787 IT'S TOO LATE! 518 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,222 I'VE ALREADY STARTED! 519 00:21:38,231 --> 00:21:40,397 JANINE, HI. IT'S TOMMY. 520 00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:42,599 UH, FROM THE REUNION? 521 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:45,602 RIGHT, YEAH, THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU YOU WERE ADOPTED, RIGHT. 522 00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:48,572 ANYWAY. SAY, UH, YOU WANNA GO OUT ON SUNDAY? 523 00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:51,675 OH, MEETING YOUR BIRTH MOTHER, HUH? 524 00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:53,410 WELL, LISTEN, CAN IT WAIT? 525 00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:56,113 YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN 16 YEARS. WHAT'S ANOTHER DAY, RIGHT? 526 00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:58,182 UH, WELL, MAYBE I COULD COME, YOU KNOW? 527 00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:01,252 WE COULD CATCH A MOVIE, SWING BY YOUR BIRTH MOM'S. 528 00:22:01,254 --> 00:22:02,787 HELLO? HELLO? HEL-- 529 00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:06,423 OH, MAN. GOT CUT OFF. 38778

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