All language subtitles for 3rd Rock from the Sun - S02E21 - Sensitive Dick (1080p x265 EDGE2020)_Subtítulos01.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:06,671 HEY, DICK, CAN I BORROW THE CAR KEYS? I HAVE A DATE WITH AUGUST. 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,074 - SURE, TOMMY. - YOU CAN'T GIVE HIM THE KEYS. HE CAN'T DRIVE. 3 00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:12,010 HOW DO YOU KNOW? I'VE NEVER TRIED IT. I COULD BE GREAT AT IT. 4 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,079 - CHECK AND MATE. - HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A LICENSE. 5 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:17,749 - YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR LICENSE YET? - I'M TAKING DRIVER'S ED. 6 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:20,152 - SHE'S RIGHT. NO KEYS FOR YOU. - HA HA! 7 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:23,288 - THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? - SALLY, YOU DRIVE HIM. 8 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,890 HA HA! 9 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,827 ( playing "Strangers In The Night" ) 10 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,502 ( chuckles ) 11 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,905 HEY THERE, TIGER. 12 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,840 ( growls ) 13 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,277 YOU REMEMBER MY DAUGHTER VICKI, DON'T YOU? 14 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:49,647 SURE. I PUT A TURKEY CARCASS ON MY HEAD 15 00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:52,617 AND HAD SEX WITH HER ON YOUR KITCHEN TABLE. 16 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,891 THAT'S MY LITTLE GIRL. 17 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,894 SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO RUTHERFORD? 18 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,129 SHE'S BACK FOR HER HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. 19 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,699 THANKS FOR KILLING THE SURPRISE, MAMA. 20 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,937 EVER SINCE THEY CANCELED "RYAN'S HOPE," 21 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,972 SHE'S BEEN REAL MOODY. 22 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,376 SO, VICKI, 23 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,878 WHY DIDN'T YOU RETURN ANY OF MY PHONE CALLS? 24 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,113 WELL, I WANTED TO, BUT THEY... 25 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,115 THEY PUT A LOCK ON THE PHONE 26 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,384 DOWN AT SOCIAL SERVICES. 27 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,620 WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE 28 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,622 'CAUSE I COULD USE SOME SOCIAL SERVICES. 29 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,764 ( '50s rock music playing ) 30 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,230 COME ON, COME ON. ANYONE. 31 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,903 - "Y" TO THE FOURTH POWER. - NO. 32 00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,839 11? 33 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,707 NO. 34 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,644 - VELOCITY SQUARED? - NO. 35 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,312 THAT GUY FROM "JEOPARDY"? 36 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:30,215 NO, NO, NO! 37 00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:33,218 DR. SOLOMON, CAN'T YOU JUST TELL US THE ANSWER? 38 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,687 WE'VE BEEN GUESSING FOR 45 MINUTES NOW. 39 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,689 YOU'VE BEEN GUESSING? 40 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,159 ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, 41 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,161 DUE TO YOUR STAGGERING INEPTITUDE 42 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,930 WITH THE MOST BASIC CONCEPTS OF QUANTUM SUPERPOSITIONS, 43 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,932 I AM ISSUING THE FOLLOWING ASSIGNMENT: 44 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:50,101 YOU WILL WRITE A FIVE-PAGE LETTER TO YOUR PARENTS 45 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,103 APOLOGIZING FOR WASTING THEIR MONEY. 46 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,342 I WANT THEM ON MY DESK TOMORROW MORNING FOR MY APPROVAL 47 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,444 AND A BLISTERING P.S. 48 00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:02,781 AND BRING A STAMP, DAMN IT. I'M NOT A POST OFFICE. 49 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:09,821 Don: THE WEDDING CHAPEL WAS ONLY TWO MILES AWAY. 50 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:13,492 ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS COME TO A COMPLETE STOP 51 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:16,427 AND TURN ON HER BLINKER, 52 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:20,164 BUT I GUESS SHE HAD MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO THINK ABOUT. 53 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,234 AND NOW SHE'S DEAD! 54 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:29,641 - ANY QUESTIONS? - YEAH. WHERE CAN I RENT THAT MOVIE? 55 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,176 YOU CAN'T. 56 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,346 CLASS DISMISSED. 57 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,651 HEY, TOMMY. 58 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:42,087 ( deepens voice ) HELLO, DON. 59 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,089 - HELLO, SALLY. - TOMMY SAID 60 00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:47,492 YOU WERE SHOWING "THE BRIDE WORE ASPHALT." 61 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,928 - DID I MISS IT? - YES, BUT... 62 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,564 - MAYBE I CAN ARRANGE FOR A PRIVATE SCREENING. - WHEN? 63 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,566 - NOW. - CAN WE WATCH IT BACKWARDS? 64 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,901 YOU'RE A SUCKER FOR A HAPPY ENDING. 65 00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:02,774 ( dramatic instrumental music playing ) 66 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,943 LOOK, HER HEAD'S BACK ON. 67 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,383 - JUDITH. - AS HEAD OF THE DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE, 68 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,385 IT IS MY SAD DUTY TO INFORM YOU 69 00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:17,088 THAT ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS HAS REGISTERED A COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU. 70 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,990 THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. 71 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:22,694 IS IT TRUE THAT YOU FORCED THEM TO WRITE HUMILIATING LETTERS TO THEIR PARENTS? 72 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:26,431 WELL, YES, BUT THAT CAN'T BE IT. 73 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,668 I'M AFRAID IT IS, AND ACCORDING TO UNIVERSITY RULES OF CONDUCT, 74 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,769 YOU MUST ATTEND SENSITIVITY TRAINING. 75 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,407 MY OFFICE WILL CONTACT YOU. 76 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,443 OH, AND DICK, I WOULDN'T LEAVE TOWN. 77 00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:43,915 I DON'T NEED SENSITIVITY TRAINING, 78 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,751 YOU STRIDENT, POWER-MAD TART! 79 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,489 - ( groans ) - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD. 80 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,725 OF COURSE I REMEMBERED. 81 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,960 HOW'S THE CHEST PAINS? 82 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,896 MARY, DO YOU THINK I'M INSENSITIVE? 83 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,834 YOU JUST HUNG UP ON MY FATHER. 84 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,604 NOW, DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 85 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,906 OKAY, FINE. YOU'RE INSENSITIVE. 86 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,574 I AM? 87 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,177 OH, COME ON, DICK. IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU 88 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:15,480 TO OCCASIONALLY THINK OF PEOPLE'S FEELINGS BEFORE YOU SPEAK. 89 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,515 ( laughs ) WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP. 90 00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:23,455 YOU LOG 40 BILLION LIGHT-YEARS WITHOUT A SINGLE MOVING VIOLATION, 91 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,857 THEY MAKE YOU TAKE A ROAD TEST ANYWAY. 92 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,459 WELCOME TO EARTH, FOLKS. 93 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:31,129 YOU DON'T NEED THAT BOOK. JUST USE YOUR COMMON SENSE. 94 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,431 GREEN MEANS GO. YELLOW MEANS SLOW DOWN. 95 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,367 RED MEANS STOP AND CHECK YOUR MAKE-UP. 96 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,405 THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND. 97 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,808 THAT'S KENNY. 98 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:46,277 OOH, JACE CARTER. OOH! 99 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,380 WHOA! WHO'S THE BIKER CHICK 100 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:51,750 WITH THE CONFEDERATE FLAG AND THE BOTTLE OF BOURBON? 101 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,919 THAT'S ME. 102 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,491 NICE. 103 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,994 HARRY, I WAS WONDERING 104 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,898 IF MAYBE... YOU'D BE MY DATE TO THE REUNION. 105 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,067 I'D LOVE TO. 106 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,069 WILL THERE BE... 107 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,838 TURKEY? 108 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,843 - ( door slams ) - FAMILY MEETING! FAMILY MEETING! 109 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:19,077 Both: WHAT? 110 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,680 I'VE JUST HEARD THE MOST UPSETTING THING. 111 00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,983 SOMEONE HAS ACCUSED ME OF INSENSITIVITY. 112 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,621 YOU'RE NOT FAMILY! GET OUT! 113 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:38,529 WHAT IS IT WITH THIS PLANET'S PREOCCUPATION WITH SENSITIVITY? 114 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:42,134 YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE AN OPEN DIALOGUE WITH ANYONE, LIKE WE DO. 115 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:45,036 WE CAN SAY ANYTHING TO EACH OTHER AND NOT TAKE OFFENSE. 116 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,205 FOR EXAMPLE, TOMMY WOULDN'T OBJECT IF I MENTIONED 117 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,374 THAT HE WAS A GREASY LITTLE DISAPPOINTMENT. 118 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,209 WHAT'S TO ARGUE? 119 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,545 SALLY COULDN'T DISPUTE THAT SHE'S A SADISTIC BIMBO. 120 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:57,048 YOU GOT ME. AND, DICK, YOU'RE A RUBBER-FACED BAG OF WIND. 121 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,717 WELL SAID! AND HARRY, YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 122 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,420 THANK YOU, SIR. MAY I HAVE ANOTHER? 123 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,559 HOORAY... 124 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,561 FOR PERSONAL GROWTH. 125 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,198 TODAY WE'RE GOING TO LEARN HOW TO BREATHE, 126 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,499 HOW TO LISTEN, 127 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:19,103 AND HOW TO SAY "I HAVE A PERSONALITY DISORDER." 128 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:22,541 - WAIT A MINUTE-- - DICK, I HEAR YOU. 129 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,777 CAN... YOU... HEAR... ME? 130 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,448 YES. YOU'RE THE ANNOYING GUY IN THE UNITARD. 131 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,886 DICK, LABELS DISABLE. 132 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,962 OKAY, WE'RE ALL SHIPWRECKED AT SEA. 133 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,964 THERE'S VERY LITTLE FOOD LEFT 134 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,600 AND ONE PASSENGER TOO MANY. 135 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,803 I SAY WE EAT THE BIG, FAT GUY. 136 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,238 BOO, DICK! BOO! 137 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,776 HOW ABOUT THE WOMAN WITH THE BAD HAIRDO? 138 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,184 YOUR WORK IS INCOMPETENT. YOU GET AN "F." YOU FAIL. 139 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,185 ( high-pitched voice ) YOU'RE RIGHT. 140 00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:11,155 MY WORK HAS BEEN WEAK, BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT. 141 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,591 I'M JUST NOT AS SMART AS YOU ARE. 142 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,026 ( gruff voice ) AH, I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE A POINT. 143 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:18,463 I AM EXCEEDINGLY BRILLIANT. 144 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,899 YOU JUST GO SO FAST, I CAN'T FOLLOW YOU. 145 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,901 AND NOW I'LL NEVER GET A JOB. 146 00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:26,337 I'LL HAVE TO SELL MY FEET FOR KEYCHAINS. 147 00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:31,509 I'VE NEVER HEARD THINGS 148 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,577 FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW BEFORE. 149 00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:37,314 MAYBE I HAVE BEEN A LITTLE HARD ON YOU. I'M-- I'M... 150 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,250 ( sniffles ) 151 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,586 I'M SORRY. ( sobbing ) 152 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,598 I THINK SOMEONE NEEDS A HUG. 153 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,217 OKAY, CLASS, 154 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,987 I THOUGHT WE'D TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 155 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,689 - NO KIDDING. - NOW, 156 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:22,193 LET'S REFLECT ON THE BALLET THAT IS PHYSICS. 157 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,028 ( clears throat ) 158 00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:28,666 IN STANDARD QUANTUM CHROMODYNAMICS, 159 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,035 THE LAGRANGE DENSITY 160 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,537 EQUALS ONE OVER FOUR PI 161 00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:36,708 TIMES THE SQUARE OF THE FIELD STRENGTH TENSOR. 162 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,442 NOW, 163 00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,544 GIVEN THAT THERE IS 164 00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,613 THIS CONCENTRATION 165 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,249 OF INTENSE NUCLEIC ENERGY, 166 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:49,187 HOW MANY HYDRONIC JETS WILL EMERGE 167 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,355 WHEN THE QUARK- ANTIQUARK LINE 168 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,791 WITHIN THE MESON RUPTURES? BUG? 169 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,996 A MILLION? 170 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,704 - DOES THAT MEAN I'M RIGHT? - NO, NOT EVEN CLOSE, BUG, 171 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:10,275 BUT YOU TRIED, AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL. 172 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,343 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 173 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,446 - DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY IT SLOWER? - NO. 174 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,716 CLASS, I HAVE YOUR MIDTERMS. 175 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:22,153 NOW, I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO FEEL STRESS, 176 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,155 SO I'VE ABANDONED 177 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,491 THE TRADITIONAL GRADING SYSTEM, 178 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,060 AND I'M GIVING YOU ALL HAPPY FACES. 179 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,966 I CAN'T APPLY TO GRADUATE SCHOOL 180 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,068 WITH A HAPPY FACE IN PHYSICS. 181 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,070 GRADUATE SCHOOL? 182 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,340 I DON'T THINK ANY OF YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. 183 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,051 ( whines ) 184 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,355 NINA, DID YOU MAKE THE APPOINTMENT FOR MY HIGH COLONIC? 185 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,991 THERE ARE TWO THINGS I DON'T DO. 186 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:04,529 I DON'T PICK UP DRY CLEANING, AND I DON'T SCHEDULE ENEMAS, OKAY? 187 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,697 THAT'S OKAY. I FORGIVE YOU. 188 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,700 - MARY, ARE WE STILL ON FOR DINNER? - SURE. 189 00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:12,203 I WAS THINKING OF WEARING THIS. 190 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:15,006 IT'S NOT COMING OFF ANYTIME SOON, IS IT? 191 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,275 DR. SOLOMON-- 192 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,248 OH, DEAR GOD. I'LL MAKE THIS BRIEF. 193 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,018 YOUR STUDENTS HAVE FILED A CLASS-WIDE COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU. 194 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,752 YOU ARE REQUIRED TO APPEAR 195 00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,988 BEFORE THE DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE, WHICH I CHAIR. 196 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:34,158 WHAT?! I GIVE THEM HAPPY FACES ON THEIR MID-TERMS, 197 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,160 AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY ME? 198 00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,196 - YEAH, THAT'S MESSED UP. - ( groans ) 199 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,998 THAT'S IT. NO MORE MR. NICE GUY. 200 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,934 AND NO HUG FOR YOU, FOUR EYES. 201 00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,641 FINE! 202 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:52,376 THIS IS THE LAST TIME I SHOP AT GOTTA DANCE. 203 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,479 THE EDACITY! THEY WON'T ALLOW ME TO RETURN MY UNITARD. 204 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,248 WHY NOT? 205 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,451 - BECAUSE I WORE IT WITHOUT MY UNDERPANTS. - OH, MY GOD! 206 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,889 THIS REMINDS ME OF YOUR PROM NIGHT. 207 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,724 - OH! - ( shutter clicks ) 208 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,860 ONLY THIS TIME YOUR DATE ISN'T MARRIED. 209 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:12,197 HI, FOLKS. 210 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,533 UNLESS YOU HAVE A WARRANT, YOU CANNOT COME IN HERE. 211 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:19,270 - NO, THAT'S SALLY'S DATE. - OH. 212 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,373 WELL, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 213 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,375 DON'T I KNOW YOU? 214 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,510 NO, I DON'T-- LET'S GO. 215 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,446 MAMA, LET'S GO. 216 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,114 GO, GO, GO. 217 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:31,248 HELLO, DON. 218 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:35,120 HELLO, SALLY. 219 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:38,122 I THOUGHT WE WOULD SKIP DINNER 220 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:41,459 AND DRIVE STRAIGHT TO LOOKOUT POINT. 221 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,128 THAT IS, IF YOU CAN STAND THE HEAT. 222 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,399 YOU KNOW ME, DON. THE HOTTER, THE BETTER. 223 00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,302 - READY, TOMMY? - YEAH. 224 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:57,441 - TOMMY'S COMING? - THE KID NEEDS TO SEE HOW IT'S DONE. 225 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,449 YOU COULD SHOW HIM HOW TO PUT THE KEY IN THE IGNITION. 226 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,820 COULDN'T I JUST BUY HIM SOME MAGAZINES? 227 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,124 HE'S BEEN READING ABOUT IT FOR WEEKS. 228 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,192 HE'S READY FOR THE REAL THING, AND I FIGURE... 229 00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:18,129 HE SHOULD LEARN FROM THE MASTER. 230 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,100 OKAY, HE CAN COME, 231 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,469 BUT I'M NOT PROMISING ANYTHING. 232 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:33,578 IF YOU'LL ALL TAKE YOUR SEATS, THIS HEARING CAN BEGIN. 233 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,579 ALL RIGHT, DICK, OUT WITH IT. 234 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:38,582 WHERE DID YOU GRAB HER? AND HOW MANY TIMES? 235 00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,518 IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF HEARING. 236 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,289 FIRST, WE WILL HEAR FROM DR. MARY ALBRIGHT 237 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,292 WHO WILL SPEAK ON BEHALF OF DR. SOLOMON. 238 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,294 DR. ALBRIGHT, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE DR. SOLOMON? 239 00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:52,296 WELL, IT'S KIND OF HARD. 240 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:54,031 I MEAN... 241 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:57,801 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PIECE OF REALLY STINKY CHEESE? 242 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,573 I ENJOY STINKY CHEESE. CONTINUE. 243 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,575 THE THING IS, IT HAS 244 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,711 THESE WONDERFULLY RICH FLAVORS 245 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:09,213 THAT YOU CAN'T GET TO 246 00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,982 WITHOUT THE STINKINESS. 247 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,055 Man: HAVE YOU EVER FOUND DR. SOLOMON TO BE INSENSITIVE? 248 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,624 NO. DR. SOLOMON IS WARM, KIND, AND A CREDIT TO PENDLETON STATE. 249 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,860 AND HE'S NEVER BEEN ABUSIVE TOWARDS YOU? 250 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,262 NO. DR. SOLOMON IS WARM, KIND, 251 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,264 AND A CREDIT TO PENDLETON STATE. 252 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,867 - HAVE YOU BEEN COACHED TO SAY THAT? - NO. 253 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,304 DR. SOLOMON IS WARM, KIND, AND A CREDIT TO PENDLETON STATE. 254 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,578 - JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE WHITE LINE. - WHERE IS IT? 255 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,513 LOOK OUT! 256 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,216 UH... DON, MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO DRIVE. 257 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,420 NO! YOU'RE PASSING THAT TEST TOMORROW IF IT KILLS US ALL! 258 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:54,091 YOU HEARD THE LADY. 259 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:57,862 ( chatter over police radio ) 260 00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,697 A 3-11. 261 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,698 TOMMY, STEP ON IT. 262 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,968 - ( tires squeal ) - ( siren wailing ) 263 00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,570 OH, PARTY, MAN! 264 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:13,077 OKAY, HARRY, DON'T YOU LET THESE PEOPLE INTIMIDATE YOU. 265 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,846 YOU JUST BE YOURSELF. YOU'RE GREAT. REMEMBER THAT. 266 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,853 - HELLO, VICKI. - HELLO, ELROY. 267 00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:25,122 THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND. HE'S A FAMOUS BRAIN SURGEON. 268 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,960 VICKI DUBCEK? 269 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,928 ( both squealing ) 270 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,300 - LOOK AT YOU! - OH, LOOK AT YOU. 271 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:38,369 WHAT WAS THAT NICKNAME WE USED TO CALL YOU? 272 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,305 "WHORE." 273 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:44,242 WHORE! ISN'T SHE PRICELESS? 274 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:47,611 AND WHO ARE YOU? 275 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,948 HARRY SOLOMON, 276 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,117 UNITED STATES AMBASSADOR 277 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,052 TO PORTUGAL. 278 00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:03,027 WHAT BOTHERS YOU MOST ABOUT DR. SOLOMON'S TEACHING METHODS? 279 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,028 HE'S ALWAYS SAYING I'M WRONG. 280 00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,730 AND HOW OFTEN ARE YOU WRONG? 281 00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:09,366 ALWAYS. 282 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:14,038 ONE DAY HE TOLD ME 283 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,440 IF I LIKED LONG HAIR SO MUCH, 284 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,543 MAYBE I SHOULD JOIN THE CIRCUS. 285 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,714 - WERE YOU HURT BY THAT? - NO. 286 00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,648 MORE CONFUSED. 287 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,986 AND THEN HE STARED AT ME, 288 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,922 AND I FELT ALL DIRTY. 289 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,693 HE DID WELL IN THE SESSION, 290 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,763 BUT WHEN HE LEFT, HE STOLE THE PUPPETS. 291 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,301 DR. SOLOMON, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY 292 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,937 - IN YOUR DEFENSE? - I HAVE PLENTY TO SAY. 293 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,273 I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A BOOK. 294 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:54,544 I STAND HERE ACCUSED OF INSENSITIVITY. 295 00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:56,647 SURE, I'VE TRIED TO CHANGE MY WAYS. 296 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,283 I'VE CRIED. I'VE HUGGED. I'VE BEEN HUGGED. 297 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,352 AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED? 298 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,820 I'M AN OFFENSIVE PERSON. 299 00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:05,823 BUT IN A TOLERANT SOCIETY, 300 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,092 IS THERE NO PLACE FOR MY KIND? 301 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:11,028 WHY MUST EVERYONE LIKE ME? 302 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,030 WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST... 303 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,666 NOT GET ALONG? 304 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,668 CONFLICT IS NECESSARY. 305 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,037 THROUGHOUT HISTORY, HUMAN BEINGS 306 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,506 HAVE PERSECUTED THE GREAT AGITATORS-- 307 00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:24,675 SOCRATES, GALILEO, 308 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,810 AND NOW DICK SOLOMON. 309 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,880 WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT US 310 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:32,116 TO PROVOKE AND ENLIGHTEN YOU? 311 00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:34,419 TO ATTACH THE ELECTRODES OF KNOWLEDGE 312 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,353 TO THE NIPPLES OF IGNORANCE? 313 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,658 THROUGHOUT HISTORY, 314 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,660 ALL OVER THE WORLD, 315 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:45,162 PEOPLE HAVE RIGHTFULLY LOOKED TO PENDLETON STATE 316 00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,297 FOR VIRTUALLY NOTHING. 317 00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:50,200 BUT MAYBE ONE DAY THEY'LL BE ABLE TO SAY 318 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:53,437 THAT AN UNPOPULAR BATTLE WAS WON THERE 319 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:57,341 FOR AN UGLY LITTLE THING CALLED... THE TRUTH. 320 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,214 - THANK YOU. - AND WHEN THEY MAKE A MOVIE OF THIS-- 321 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:06,216 AND THEY WILL-- 322 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:08,886 I DON'T WANT TO BE PLAYED BY WOODY HARRELSON. 323 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,062 WE WILL NOW DELIBERATE AND RETURN 324 00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:19,997 WITH A GUILTY VERDICT. 325 00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,971 WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT I'D BE SPENDING THIS NIGHT 326 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:30,074 IN A VERITABLE WONDERLAND OF TWINKLY LIGHTS, 327 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,643 TINY WIENIES, 328 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,880 AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN FROM ORLANDO? 329 00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:38,248 MMM. 330 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:41,018 SO WHAT DID YOU DO AT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION? 331 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,054 VICKI, 332 00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,990 I DIDN'T EXACTLY GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL. 333 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,259 OH. WELL... 334 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,428 I DIDN'T EXACTLY GRADUATE, EITHER. 335 00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:55,399 JACE? JACE CARTER? 336 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,569 - YEAH? - WELL, IT'S... 337 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,871 VICKI DUBCEK HERE. 338 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,874 OH. RIGHT. 339 00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:09,647 I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. 340 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,282 THAT'S VICKI DUBCEK. 341 00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:15,118 - WHO ARE YOU? - I'M VICKI'S HUSBAND, 342 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,888 HARRY SOLOMON, HOLLYWOOD STUNTMAN. 343 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,192 AND WHEN I'M NOT CRASHING THROUGH PLATE GLASS WINDOWS 344 00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:24,461 OR CATCHING ON FIRE, 345 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:28,131 YOU'LL FIND ME AT MY HOLLYWOOD MANSION WITH MY WIFE. 346 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:30,133 YOU SEE, I COULD HAVE 347 00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:32,069 ANY WOMAN I WANT, INCLUDING HER... 348 00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:36,140 BUT I CHOOSE VICKI 349 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:40,077 TO SHARE MY FABULOUS HOLLYWOOD LIFESTYLE. 350 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:43,213 WOW! VICKI, YOU MADE IT. 351 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:46,216 YEAH. YEAH, I DID. 352 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,886 I'M ALSO THE POSTMASTER GENERAL. 353 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,925 AFTER REVIEWING ALL THE TESTIMONY, 354 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,227 THE DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE UNANIMOUSLY VOTES 355 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,229 TO ADMONISH DR. SOLOMON. 356 00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:02,700 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? - YOU'RE OFFICIALLY ADMONISHED. 357 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,505 DOES THAT COME WITH A PAY CUT? 358 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:11,074 NO. HOWEVER, IF THERE'S ANOTHER VIOLATION, YOU WILL BE CENSURED. 359 00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,144 DOES THAT COME WITH A PAY CUT? 360 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,313 NO, BUT SHOULD THAT FAIL TO STOP YOU, 361 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,681 YOU WILL BE SANCTIONED, WHICH MEANS A 30-DAY SUSPENSION. 362 00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,550 - WITH PAY? - YES, WITH PAY. 363 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:24,955 THAT SOUNDS GOOD. COULD I BE SANCTIONED RIGHT NOW? 364 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:27,024 NO. WE'RE ADJOURNED. 365 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,697 DR. SOLOMON, 366 00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:37,435 I'M REALLY SORRY. WE NEVER MEANT FOR THERE TO BE A HEARING. 367 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,770 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT GOT THIS FAR. 368 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,675 NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE. 369 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,744 YOU'RE STUPID, I'M RUDE. SEE YOU TOMORROW. 370 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,213 WE'LL SEE YOU. 371 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,850 WELL, DICK, I THINK YOU MADE A NICE POINT. 372 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:55,953 YES, FOR A PIECE OF STINKY CHEESE. 373 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,788 OH, DICK, 374 00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:01,658 YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, AND THAT'S THE GUY I LOVE. 375 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,760 THANK YOU, MARY. 376 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,762 - AND YOU KNOW WHAT? - WHAT? 377 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,132 - I LOVE ME, TOO. - GOOD. 378 00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:12,036 IT'S SOMETHING I LEARNED IN SENSITIVITY CLASS-- TO LOVE MYSELF. 379 00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:15,039 - GOOD. - AND I REALLY LOVE MYSELF. 380 00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,974 I MEAN, A LOT. 381 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,350 WELL, I FAILED BY DRIVER'S TEST. 382 00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,352 I CAN HANDLE A HIGH-SPEED POLICE CHASE, 383 00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:30,487 BUT FOR SOME REASON, AT 20 MILES AN HOUR 384 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,823 I HIT THREE PARKED CARS. 385 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:35,058 DON'T WORRY ABOUT NOT HAVING YOUR LICENSE. 386 00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:37,160 LORD KNOWS IT HASN'T STOPPED ME. 387 00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:39,496 I'M GOING TO BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF MY WHOLE SCHOOL. 388 00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:42,166 WELL, I'VE DISCOVERED SOMETHING, TOMMY. 389 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,502 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO IN HIGH SCHOOL, 390 00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:47,505 AS LONG AS YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE LOSERS 391 00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,440 AT THE REUNION. 31377

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