All language subtitles for 3rd Rock from the Sun - S02E03 - Hotel Dick (1080p x265 EDGE2020)_Subtítulos01.ENG

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,637 OH, MY GOD! ( panting ) 2 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,308 ALIENS ARE NOT LIKE THAT. 3 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,311 OH, THE SENSELESS VIOLENCE. 4 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:16,148 - THE MINDLESS GORE. - THE INCREDIBLE SOUND SYSTEM. 5 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:19,217 THERE MUST HAVE BEEN 30 SPEAKERS IN THAT PLACE. THAT MOVIE KICKED BUTT. 6 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,219 - ( groans ) - HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? 7 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,188 THEY PORTRAYED ALIENS AS VICIOUS MONSTERS. 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,424 THEY BLEW UP THE DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION. 9 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,793 DO YOU MIND? WE HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET. 10 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:30,395 WHAT DO I CARE? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. 11 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,397 DON'T YOU THINK IT WAS COOL 12 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,566 WHEN THAT THING'S TONGUE SPLIT OPEN AND STRANGLED THOSE EIGHT ARMY GUYS? 13 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,636 - OKAY, THAT WAS COOL... - YEAH. 14 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,971 BUT ONLY THAT, AND ONLY BECAUSE IT MADE ME SCREAM 15 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,040 LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. 16 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,176 THEY HAVE TO MAKE THE ALIENS SCARY. THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT. 17 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:49,013 SUCKING THE BRAINS OUT OF ALL THOSE ZOO ANIMALS IS NOT ENTERTAINMENT. 18 00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,016 Man #1: HEY, UP THERE, SHUT UP! 19 00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,785 - ( all agreeing ) - Man #2: HEY, QUIET. 20 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,755 IT'S HOW THESE PEOPLE THINK OF US. 21 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,557 THEY DIDN'T CARE WHETHER THE ALIENS WERE GOOD OR BAD. THEY WANTED THEM DEAD. 22 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,194 WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? MARY-- SHE'S ALREADY SEEN THIS MOVIE. 23 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:06,732 SO? SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU'RE AN ALIEN. DOES SHE? 24 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,666 - OH, PLEASE. - DOES SHE? 25 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:11,269 I SAID, "OH, PLEASE." ISN'T THAT ENOUGH? 26 00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:14,673 - Both: DOES SHE? - NO! 27 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,841 ATTENTION, TICKET HOLDERS! 28 00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:19,344 LISTEN UP. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE, 29 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:22,180 - WHEN THE PRESIDENT TURNS OUT TO BE AN ALIEN-- - ( man groans ) 30 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,416 YEAH-- 31 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:27,852 AND HE BARBECUES ALL THE CONGRESSMEN, 32 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:30,789 DON'T BELIEVE IT BECAUSE ALIENS HATE BARBECUE. 33 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:33,925 - IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. - ALL RIGHTY. 34 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,761 - AND THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU. - DID YOU HEAR THAT GUY? 35 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,398 - HE HASN'T SEEN THE MOVIE, AND HE ALREADY WANTS TO KILL US. - WE ARE IN TROUBLE. 36 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,135 WE'VE GOT TO LAY LOW UNTIL THIS MANIA PASSES OVER. 37 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:46,705 - MAYBE BUILD A BUNKER. - NO! WE CAN'T HIDE. 38 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,374 I SAY WE COME OUT OF THE BUNKER AND INTO THE STREET. 39 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:53,145 I SAY WE HOLD AN ALIEN PRIDE PARADE. 40 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,647 WE'LL ALL GET TOGETHER, 41 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,083 AND WE'LL PROVE THAT WE'RE ALL-- 42 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,286 HUMANS. 43 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,255 ( '50s rock music playing ) 44 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,220 HELLO. "RUTHERFORD BUGLE"? 45 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,956 I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOUR FILM CRITIC, PLEASE. 46 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,958 OH. WELL, THEN, WILL YOU TELL HIM 47 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,027 THAT I JUST SAW "DAWN OF THE ALIENS," AND IT WAS NOT WHAM-BAM? 48 00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:46,131 IT WAS NOT A SLAM DUNK. I WAS NEVER ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT. 49 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,366 AND THE SPECIAL EFFECTS DID NOT MAKE MY EYES POP OUT. 50 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:54,005 - THERE'S NO CREAM IN HERE! - WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BITE MY HEAD OFF. 51 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,509 NINA, WE DON'T DO THAT. 52 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,713 - HELLO, DICK. - OH, MARY. 53 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,550 YOU NOTICE HOW I'M BEING GENTLE 54 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:09,187 AND NOT SQUEEZING YOUR BODY UNTIL YOUR SPLEEN SHOOTS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH? 55 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,289 YES, I NOTICED THAT. 56 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:14,693 THANK YOU. OH! SPEAKING OF SPLEENS, 57 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,928 DID YOU SEE "DAWN OF THE ALIENS"? 58 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:20,165 - WASN'T THAT MOVIE GREAT? - IT WAS TWO HOURS AND FOUR MINUTES 59 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,168 OF HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE LIES. 60 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,970 - I LIKED IT. - ME, TOO. I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT. 61 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:27,972 THEY PORTRAY ALIENS 62 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:30,642 AS HIDEOUS, EVIL MUTANTS. 63 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,877 WHY CAN'T THEY BE SWEET AND WELL-MANNERED? 64 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,880 I DON'T PAY SEVEN BUCKS TO SEE AN ALIEN PLAY WITH A PUPPY. 65 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,816 AT THAT PRICE HE BETTER EAT IT. 66 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,090 TOMMY? TOMMY, 67 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:49,494 THEY'RE HAVING A SCI-FI CONVENTION IN CLEVELAND. 68 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:52,731 "MEET ALL THE ALIENS FROM YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS AND MOVIES. 69 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,066 AND 'STAR TREK'S' MR. SULU, GEORGE TAKEI, 70 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,401 WILL BE SIGNING COPIES OF HIS NEW BOOK, 71 00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:00,839 'WARP SPEED, DAMN IT: THE COMPLETE RANTS OF WILLIAM SHATNER.'" 72 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,443 THIS WOULD BE A PERFECT PLACE TO HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND 73 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,613 HOW WRONG THEIR IMPRESSIONS OF US ALIENS ARE. 74 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,983 OR WE COULD JUST BLOW THE WHOLE DAMN PLACE UP. 75 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:15,420 - ( vacuum humming ) - WOULD YOU GUYS LIFT YOUR FEET, PLEASE? 76 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,689 LIFT YOUR FEET. LIFT FEET! 77 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,060 WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 78 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,562 SALLY, TURN OFF YOUR SUCKING DEVICE. 79 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,565 ( vacuum stops ) 80 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,600 WHAT IS IT? 81 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,637 I NEED YOUR SUPPORT. I HAVE MADE THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION 82 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,638 I'VE HAD TO MAKE SINCE COMING TO THIS PLANET. 83 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,740 YOU'RE GIVING UP TIGHTY WHITIES 84 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,742 AND SWITCHING TO BOXERS? 85 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,777 NO! 86 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:43,481 IT'S NOT ABOUT UNDERWEAR, HARRY, 87 00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,318 - ALTHOUGH I HAVE SWITCHED. - NO! 88 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,721 I'VE DECIDED TO TELL MARY 89 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,723 THAT I AM WHAT HUMANS WOULD CALL, 90 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,492 IN THEIR GALACTOCENTRIC WAY, 91 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,327 - AN ALIEN. - Harry: NO! 92 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,330 ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 93 00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,498 YOU'VE NEVER BLOWN YOUR COVER ON ANY OTHER MISSION. 94 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,500 I'VE NEVER FELT THE NEED TO. 95 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,770 - I KEEP HAVING THESE FEELINGS. - AI-YI-YI. 96 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:10,675 IT'S THIS FLESHY HUMAN SLIPCOVER. 97 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,044 OH, SURE, IT'S DASHING, TALL, 98 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,279 MANLY, 99 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,715 WASHABLE, 100 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,184 BUT SOMEHOW IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL SO AWFUL 101 00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,187 ABOUT DECEIVING THE WOMAN I LOVE. 102 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:25,690 ALL RIGHT, LOOK. LET'S JUST THINK THIS THING THROUGH, OKAY? 103 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,692 I'LL BE HER. HERE I AM. 104 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:29,728 I'M MARY, SITTING AT MY DESK. 105 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,064 NOW, YOU COME IN AND TELL ME. 106 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,872 HELLO, MARY. 107 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,874 DICK. 108 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,909 YOU LOOK HANDSOME TODAY. 109 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,345 AND YOU LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER. 110 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,015 - ( Sally screams ) - WHOA! 111 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:55,620 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. LET'S JUST START OVER. 112 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,559 ( sniffs ) 113 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:07,165 - HELLO, MARY. - DICK! 114 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:10,135 I CAN'T KISS YOU TODAY BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE FLU. 115 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,471 AS DO I. 116 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:16,041 MARY, I AM AN ALIEN. 117 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,048 SHE'S DEAD! 118 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:28,753 YOU KILLED HER, YOU ALIEN BASTARD! 119 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,755 WHY? 120 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:34,159 - WHY?! - THIS IS NONSENSE! I'M GOING TO TELL HER. 121 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,661 - YOU'RE GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED. - I'M ONLY TELLING ONE PERSON. 122 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,663 SIR, AS SECURITY OFFICER, I FORBID IT. 123 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:42,100 AND, AS HIGH COMMANDER, I HAVE TO SAY TOUGH TOENAILS, LIEUTENANT. 124 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,102 FINE. LET IT BE ON YOUR HEAD. 125 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,939 WHICH IS GOING TO BE SITTING NEXT TO OURS ON A TRAY SOMEWHERE IN NEW MEXICO. 126 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:51,108 I AM TELLING YOU, HUMANS CANNOT HANDLE THIS KIND OF INFORMATION. 127 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:53,678 MARY CAN. 128 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,781 I JUST HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT SETTING, THE RIGHT ATMOSPHERE 129 00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:00,118 WHERE THE ELEGANT BEAUTY OF OUR MAGNIFICENT SURROUNDINGS 130 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,121 HELP HER TO EMBRACE THE TRUTH AND ME. 131 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,290 THEY'RE HAVING A SCI-FI CONVENTION IN CLEVELAND. 132 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,060 PERFECT! PACK YOUR BAGS, KIDS. 133 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,029 - WE'RE GOING ON A ROAD TRIP. - SWEET. 134 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,970 ( overlapping dialogue ) 135 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,972 - OOH! - OH! 136 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,841 AHH! ( gasps ) 137 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,876 LOOK AT THIS PLACE. 138 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,645 ( gasps ) OUR FIRST HOTEL ROOM. 139 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,115 WOW! WHY DO I SUDDENLY HAVE THE URGE 140 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,016 TO TRASH IT? 141 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,986 HEY, YOU GUYS, LOOK AT THIS TINY BOTTLE 142 00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,522 I FOUND IN THE BATHROOM. 143 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,091 EVIDENCE OF A SUPERIOR RACE 144 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,527 OF TINY PEOPLE. 145 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,528 HOW CAN YOU TELL THEY'RE SUPERIOR? 146 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:48,099 BECAUSE IT'S A SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER IN ONE. 147 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,434 AH. 148 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:53,104 ( gasps ) A TINY FRIDGE 149 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,439 FILLED WITH TINY BOTTLES OF ALCOHOL 150 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:58,542 - AND TINY BAGS OF MACADAMIA NUTS! - WOW! 151 00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:01,179 THESE PEOPLE MIGHT BE TINY, BUT THEY KNOW HOW TO PARTY. 152 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,715 HOW DO THEY GET UP ON THE BED, 153 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:07,384 ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE ALL DRUNK AND FAT ON NUTS? 154 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,793 JUST TELL ME WHEN. 155 00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,795 - WHEN. - WHEN I'VE POURED ENOUGH 156 00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:20,632 TO SLAKE YOUR THIRST FOR CHAMPAGNE. 157 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,768 - WHEN. - WHENEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES. 158 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,503 - WHEN, STOP, NOW. - NOW? 159 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,439 YEAH, YES, NOW, NOW! 160 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,310 HALF A BOTTLE FOR ONE GLASS. 161 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,546 YOU ARE A WILD WOMAN, 162 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,547 BUT THEN I ACCEPT THAT. 163 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:40,051 I MAY BE WILD, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BITE. 164 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,887 AND NEITHER WILL I, AND THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. 165 00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:44,956 THERE WILL BE NO BITING, NO BLOODLETTING, 166 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,857 NO CRANIAL EXPLOSIONS. 167 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,560 WHAT'S WITH YOU? 168 00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:52,397 ALL RIGHT, MARY, YOU'VE SNIFFED ME OUT. 169 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,500 I BROUGHT YOU HERE UNDER THE GUISE OF A ROMANTIC HOLIDAY 170 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,002 TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF. 171 00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,171 THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT. 172 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,907 I-- I DON'T WANT YOU TO JUDGE ME. 173 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,842 I NEVER JUDGE YOU. 174 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:09,647 SOMETIMES I DO. OFTEN. 175 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,450 ALWAYS. I'LL TRY NOT TO THIS TIME. 176 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:15,153 MARY, BEFORE I MET YOU, 177 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,155 I WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. 178 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,257 I WAS FAR, FAR AWAY FROM HERE. 179 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,426 AND EVER SINCE I LEFT THAT PLACE, 180 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,062 I'VE BEEN FIGHTING SO HARD TO FIT IN. 181 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,098 AND IF EVER ANYONE FOUND OUT, I'D HAVE TO GO BACK 182 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,368 BECAUSE I COULD NEVER LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANY LONGER. 183 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,370 OH, DICK, 184 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,472 WERE YOU IN A... CLINIC? 185 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:40,745 - CLINIC? - IT'S OKAY. 186 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,780 SO WAS I. 187 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,715 OH! 188 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,502 - ( alarm blares, stops ) - WAKE UP, EVERYBODY! 189 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,872 WE'RE GOING TO THE SCI-FI CONVENTION. 190 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,875 ( imitates laser gun blast, heart beating ) 191 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,816 WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT ABOUT THIS SCI-FI CONVENTION? 192 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,150 DON'T YOU SEE? IT'S A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY 193 00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,152 TO TAKE A STAND, 194 00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:25,022 TO PROTEST HOW THE REST OF THE WORLD IS TREATING OUR KIND. 195 00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,492 YOU WANT TO BE SOME KIND OF ALIEN MARTIN LUTHER KING? 196 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,928 EXACTLY, 197 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:33,497 BECAUSE I, TOO, HAVE A DREAM, 198 00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,733 AND IN THAT DREAM I'M NAKED 199 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,769 ON A FERRIS WHEEL. 200 00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:41,505 I'LL MEET YOU GUYS IN THE LOBBY. 201 00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:43,575 I'M GOING TO GO MAKE SURE DICK HASN'T BLOWN OUR COVER. 202 00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:46,011 SALLY, THERE'S A NOTE FOR YOU ON THE DOOR. 203 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,581 "PLEASE MAKE UP ROOM." 204 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,121 ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT WHEN WE GET BACK. 205 00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,791 WE'RE GOING TO THE SCI-FI CONVENTION! 206 00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:07,164 I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THIS BEFORE, 207 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,735 BUT WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL-- NINE, 10... 208 00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:13,171 17-- 209 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,706 - I WAS FAT. - HOW FAT? 210 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,375 FAT ENOUGH THAT EVERYBODY MADE FUN OF ME. 211 00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:20,578 FAT AS A COW? IS THAT HOW FAT? 212 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:23,714 - THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. - RIGHT, SORRY. YOU GO ON. 213 00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:26,017 ANYWAY, INSTEAD OF REACHING OUT FOR HELP, 214 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,153 I TURNED INWARD AND BECAME BITTER 215 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,255 AND DISILLUSIONED WITH THE WORLD AROUND ME. 216 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,824 - 300 POUNDS? 400-- - DICK! 217 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,892 SORRY. 218 00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:38,062 MY PARENTS JUST MADE IT WORSE. 219 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,565 THEY HAD THIS NOTION THAT I WAS GOING TO BE 220 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,567 AN OLYMPIC FIGURE SKATER. 221 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:45,503 THEY FORCED ME INTO A LEOTARD. 222 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:49,206 I LOOKED LIKE A SAUSAGE IN PURPLE VELOUR CASING. 223 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,643 AND WHEN I SKATED, THEY CALLED ME THE ZAMBONI. 224 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,481 THEN ONE DAY I-- I CRACKED. 225 00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:00,651 - THE ICE? - MENTALLY! 226 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:04,289 - I CRACKED MENTALLY. - MENTALLY, MENTALLY. 227 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:08,059 MY PARENTS SENT ME TO A SPECIAL PLACE-- 228 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,194 CAMP KNOCK-A-LOT- OF-WEIGHT-OFF. 229 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:12,163 MARY, THAT IS JUST TERRIBLE. 230 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,766 - I'M SO SORRY. - NO, NO, IT'S FINE, REALLY. 231 00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,569 THANKS FOR LETTING ME CONFIDE IN YOU. 232 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:22,239 NOW, WHY WERE YOU IN A CLINIC? 233 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,209 OH, UH, WELL, FUNNY STORY. 234 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:28,379 I WAS, UH... HOW CAN I PUT THIS? 235 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,114 - NOT. - WHAT?! 236 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,550 - HERE GOES. I AM-- - ( knocking ) 237 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,920 JUST HOLD THAT THOUGHT. SALLY! 238 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,956 I NEED TO TALK TO DICK IN PRIVATE. 239 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,658 DON'T YOU HAVE SOME GIRLY THING YOU NEED TO DO IN THE BATHROOM? 240 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,893 - NO. - THEN JUST GO SIT IN THERE. 241 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:44,929 - EXCUSE ME? - YOU'RE EXCUSED. 242 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,298 WHAT, UH-- WELL! 243 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,667 - ( whispers ) - SHH! 244 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,269 - ( door closes ) - I WAS THIS CLOSE TO POURING MY HEART OUT. 245 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,907 - THEN I ARRIVED IN TIME. - SHE JUST TOLD ME ONE OF HER DEEPEST SECRETS. 246 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,242 - SHE USED TO BE FAT. - FAT AS A COW? 247 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:01,412 - THAT'S NOT THE POINT. - THE POINT IS, SHE CAN'T KEEP A SECRET. 248 00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:04,582 TELL HER, THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE AIR FORCE HAS SEALED OFF THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 249 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,984 THAT'S A RISK I'M WILLING TO TAKE. 250 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,820 HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? YOU TELL HER YOU'RE AN ALIEN, 251 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:12,290 AND SHE FREAKS OUT, RUNS AWAY, 252 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,292 AND YOU NEVER SEE HER AGAIN, EVER. 253 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,329 OH... 254 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,798 IN MY SCENARIO, SHE COMES RUNNING INTO MY ARMS. 255 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,633 WELL, 256 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,237 THAT'S JUST A RISK YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE... 257 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,838 ALIEN. 258 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,992 - IT IS FASCINATING, THOUGH, ISN'T IT? - WHAT? 259 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:51,563 HOW THESE PEOPLE FULFILL THEIR LIVES THROUGH FANTASY. 260 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:54,032 IT'S LIKE THOSE GUYS THAT SPEND ALL OF THEIR TIME 261 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,467 READING THOSE FAKE LETTERS IN "PENTHOUSE." 262 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,069 THEY'RE FAKE? 263 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,373 CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO 264 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,642 IF THEY MET AN ACTUAL ALIEN? 265 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,944 THEY WOULD COMPLETELY FREAK OUT. 266 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:10,447 I DON'T KNOW. IN A WAY, AREN'T WE ALL ALIENS? 267 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:13,450 I MEAN, WE EMERGE FROM WEIGHTLESS ENVIRONMENTS, 268 00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:15,486 SEEING EVERYTHING FOR THE FIRST TIME 269 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,388 WITH CURIOUS NEW EYES, 270 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,991 EVERY EMOTION BRAND-NEW, ALWAYS DISCOVERING, 271 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,659 ALWAYS LEARNING. 272 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,661 YEAH, YOU KEEP OVERTHINKING LIFE. 273 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,531 I'M GOING TO GET A COUPLE OF SPACE CHURROS. 274 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:30,668 SEE? SOMEBODY BROKE INTO THE ROOM. 275 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,603 LOOK AT THIS PLACE. 276 00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:37,241 - LOOKS CLEAN TO ME. - EXACTLY. 277 00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:40,177 THEY CLEANED EVERYTHING, MADE THE BEDS, REWRAPPED THE SOAP, 278 00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:42,479 SANITIZED THE TOILET FOR MY PROTECTION. 279 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,548 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! 280 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,085 THE MAID WAS HERE. 281 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:50,421 THE MAID? THERE'S A MAID? 282 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,256 HOUSEKEEPING. 283 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,725 HERE. IT'S A WHOLE BOOK OF SERVICES 284 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,660 THE HOTEL HAS TO OFFER. 285 00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,098 DRY CLEANING, WAKE-UP CALLS, 286 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,000 IN-ROOM DINING? 287 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,968 YES, MA'AM, ROOM SERVICE. 288 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,104 ROOM SERVICE? 289 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,743 ROOM... 290 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,511 SERVICE. 291 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,716 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? - NO, MA'AM. 292 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,653 WE'RE IN HEAVEN. 293 00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:23,655 YOU, MY GOOD MAN, ARE 294 00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:26,023 THE ASSISTANT MANAGER OF HEAVEN. 295 00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,359 - THANK YOU, MA'AM. - BYE-BYE. 296 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,468 HI. YES. 297 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,304 THIS IS SALLY SOLOMON IN ROOM 605. 298 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:43,474 CAN I GET A TURKEY SANDWICH? 299 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,644 I CAN? 300 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,746 CAN I GET 10? 301 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:55,019 - ( applause ) - LIVE LONG AND PROSPER. 302 00:15:57,924 --> 00:16:00,992 HAILING FREQUENCIES OPEN, EVERYBODY. I'M GEORGE TAKEI. 303 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:09,167 SEEING ALL OF YOU HERE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN, 304 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:12,737 ALMOST AS IF, AS MR. SULU ONCE SAID, 305 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,839 MY CHRONOMETER'S RUNNING BACKWARDS. 306 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:16,941 HA! 307 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,578 YOU PEOPLE ARE LIVING A LIE. 308 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,513 LOOK AT YOURSELVES, 309 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,115 EMBRACING NEGATIVE ALIEN STEREOTYPES. 310 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:28,519 DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT MAYBE ALIENS ARE FRIENDLY, 311 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,588 KIND, ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE? 312 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,990 UH, SECURITY? 313 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,159 HATH NOT AN ALIEN EYES 314 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,860 OR BUTTOCKS? 315 00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,363 IF YOU PRICK AN ALIEN, DOES IT NOT SAY 316 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,298 "OW, OW, OW"? 317 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,701 WE SHOULD NOT EMBRACE 318 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,369 SCIENCE FICTION. 319 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,471 SCREW SCI-FI. 320 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:50,407 INSTEAD, WE SHOULD EMBRACE 321 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:53,677 SCIENCE FACT-- 322 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,513 SCI-FA. 323 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,114 HARRY, LET'S GO NOW. 324 00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,550 LONG LIVE SCI-FA. 325 00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:03,921 YOU THERE, FORGET THE WINDOWS AND SCRUB THAT SINK 326 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,957 UNTIL I SEE MY FACE IN IT. THANKS. 327 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,225 - ( knocking ) - OH, COMING! 328 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,462 - GOOD AFTERNOON, MA'AM. - GOOD AFTERNOON. 329 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:14,131 - I'M HERE TO PICK UP YOUR DRY CLEANING. - THAT PILE ON THE LUGGAGE. 330 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,133 HELL, DO THE LUGGAGE, TOO. 331 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,469 SALLY, I JUST FEEL TERRIBLE. 332 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,839 WELL, YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING BY NOT TELLING HER, HONEY. 333 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,841 DARLING, WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THE BATHROOM, 334 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,910 DUST THE CREDENZA AND FERTILIZE THE POTTED PLANTS. 335 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,812 I'M WANT 'EM BLOOMING AND MAKING ME HAPPY. 336 00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:31,315 I CAME HERE WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF COMING CLEAN, 337 00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:34,685 - AND NOW I FEEL SO DIRTY. - JUST TAKE A BUBBLE BATH. 338 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,020 YOU KNOW, THE TUB'S GOT BEAUTIFULLY POSITIONED JETS, 339 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,023 AND THE SHOWER TURNS INTO A SAUNA. 340 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,891 "DIRTY" WAS A METAPHOR. 341 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,394 I'M SURE IT WAS, HONEY. HI. YES. 342 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,663 COULD WE GET SOME EUCALYPTUS OIL UP HERE 343 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,233 AND A COUPLE OF BIG, FAT LOOFAHS? THANKS. 344 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,435 - SALLY? - HELLO, BOYS. 345 00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:55,539 - WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF? - ROOM... SERVICE. 346 00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,611 Both: ROOM SERVICE. 347 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,613 IF I WANT A TOWEL, THEY SEND IT UP. 348 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,682 IF I WANT A RADISH, THEY SEND IT UP. 349 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,151 THEY SET UP A LAPTOP, A FAX, A VCR. AND WHY? 350 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,386 BECAUSE UNTIL CHECKOUT TIME TOMORROW, 351 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,822 I'M THEIR QUEEN. 352 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,191 - I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME. - I AM. 353 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:17,561 I'LL BE DOWN IN MY ROOM. ARE THESE CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES? 354 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:19,497 HEY! GET YOUR OWN FRENCH SAMPLER. 355 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,605 HOW CAN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF? 356 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,240 DECEIVING THE PERSON YOU LOVE FOR THE SAKE OF A MISSION. 357 00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,643 LOOK AT YOU. 358 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,578 YOU'RE GORGEOUS! 359 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,316 - Mary: DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? - OH, NO, NOTHING. 360 00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:42,152 TELL HER, TELL HER. BUT HOW? 361 00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,492 STAND BACK, EARTH MAN, 362 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,996 AND PREPARE TO BE DEMOLECULARIZED 363 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,899 IN WAYS YOU'VE NEVER IMAGINED. 364 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,902 - MARY? - I'M NOT MARY. 365 00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:01,171 I AM UMA FROM THE PLANET THURMAN. 366 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,074 REMOVE YOUR EARTH PANTS. 367 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,579 ANY RESISTANCE WILL BE FUTILE, HUMAN. 368 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:11,349 HUMAN. 369 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:14,185 BUT I'M NOT HUMAN. 370 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,954 I'VE BEEN DECEIVING YOU. 371 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,956 I'M AN ALIEN FROM A PLANET 372 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:22,226 IN THE BARD SPIRAL GALAXY ON THE CEPHEUS DRACO BORDER. 373 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,696 I WAS SENT HERE BY OUR LEADER, 374 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,298 THE BIG GIANT HEAD, TO EXPLORE THIS PLANET. 375 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,269 DICK SOLOMON IS JUST A FACADE, 376 00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:35,105 HIDING A QUIVERING PURPLE TUBE. 377 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,341 I AM THE HIGH COMMANDER, 378 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,044 AND THIS... IS MY SALUTE. 379 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,186 OH, REALLY? 380 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,223 I HAVE SEEN YOUR PLANET. 381 00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:57,294 IT IS A SAVAGE PLACE AND MUST BE CONQUERED. 382 00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,229 OH, MARY. 383 00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:02,633 - OW! - OW! OH. 384 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,670 OW! 385 00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:06,636 OH! 386 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,842 THIS IS HARRY SOLOMON. I'D LIKE TO GET ANOTHER MASSAGE 387 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,779 'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE TENSE AGAIN. 388 00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,181 HEY, LOOK WHAT I FOUND. 389 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:20,451 OH, WHAT IS IT? 390 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,153 IT LOOKS LIKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING WE GOT WHILE WE WERE HERE. 391 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,890 LOBSTER, LOBSTER, LOBSTER, LOBSTER. 392 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,058 HEY, WHAT'S THAT NUMBER THERE AT THE BOTTOM? 393 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,895 IT'S PROBABLY THE POPULATION OF CLEVELAND OR SOMETHING. 394 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,363 THAT'S YOUR BILL. 395 00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:40,071 - OH, MY GOD. - NO WAY. 396 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,073 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 397 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,442 HARRY, GET ME THE LAPTOP, THE MODEM, 398 00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,611 THE MAGNETIC STRIP KEY THAT GOT US INTO THIS ROOM, 399 00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,580 AND A SHOWER CAP. 400 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:52,849 GOOD MORNING, MR. TAKEI. 401 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:54,851 GOOD MORNING. I'M CHECKING OUT. 402 00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:57,955 OF COURSE. HERE'S YOUR BILL, SIR. 403 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,527 $3,000? 404 00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:05,663 WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I CAN AFFORD IT. 405 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,265 I'M A FAMOUS ACTOR. 406 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,702 I'M SORRY. THAT'S $30,000, MR. TAKEI. 407 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,807 OH, MY. 408 00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:26,283 14 BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE, SHRIMP COCKTAILS, 409 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,118 HUMMUS ON PITA TIPS? 410 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,155 LOOK, I HAD A TOBLERONE AND TWO GINGER ALES. 411 00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:33,157 THAT'S IT. 412 00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,793 SEVEN MASSAGES? HOW COULD I GET SEVEN MASSAGES? 413 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,495 DO I LOOK RELAXED? DO I? 414 00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:40,597 WHAT'S THIS? 415 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,969 ALL RIGHT, SO I TOOK ONE TOWEL. 416 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,705 ONE TOWEL. 417 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:49,673 I'M GEORGE TAKEI, DAMN IT! 34129

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.