All language subtitles for 3rd Rock from the Sun - S02E01 - See Dick Continue to Run (1) (1080p x265 EDGE2020)_Subtítulos01.ENG

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,710 HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG. 2 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,850 MAKE THAT FORMER HIGH COMMANDER. 3 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,752 I AM WRITING THIS SO THAT FUTURE GENERATIONS 4 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,988 WILL KNOW THE TRUTH. 5 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:25,323 IT ALL BEGAN TWO DAYS AGO. 6 00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,326 OKAY, WHERE'S MY SHOES? 7 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,328 I THINK I SAW ONE OF THEM RIGHT OVER THERE. 8 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,233 HARRY RECEIVED A MESSAGE FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD 9 00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:37,335 SAYING THAT I WAS TO BE REPLACED 10 00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,404 THE VERY NEXT NIGHT. 11 00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,907 CRUELLY, THAT WAS THE VERY NIGHT 12 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:44,142 THAT MARY FINALLY SAID, 13 00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:46,411 "I CARE ABOUT YOU." 14 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,080 MARY, YOU UNDERSTAND MY EVERY THOUGHT. 15 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:52,717 I UNDERSTAND. YOU'VE HAD THE MILK. WHY BUY THE COW? 16 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:56,555 NO, I WANT YOU. I WANT THE COW. 17 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:02,427 BUT I WAS SUMMONED INTO THE BASEMENT 18 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,096 TO MEET MY REPLACEMENT. 19 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:08,533 AND HERE I AM IN THIS ENCASEMENT. 20 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,535 NO. 21 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:15,106 I MUST MAKE AN ERASEMENT. 22 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,682 IGNORING ALL MILITARY PROTOCOL, 23 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,585 HE CONFINED ME IN THIS INVISIBLE BOX. 24 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,687 ( sinister laughter ) 25 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,524 ( gasps ) 26 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,526 OH, MY GOD! 27 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,695 HE'S TURNED ME INTO A MIME! 28 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,135 ( sobs ) 29 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,441 - WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT PAN? - I'M COOKING SAUSAGES. 30 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,444 THOSE ARE LINKS. I LIKE PATTIES. 31 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,446 - I'M SORRY, SIR. - SORRY WON'T DO. 32 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,615 PRESS THAT MEAT, SOLDIER. I LIKE MY LINKS FLAT. 33 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,591 WHO ATE MY STRAWBERRIES? 34 00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,927 - WHAT STRAWBERRIES? - I HAD A PINT OF STRAWBERRIES IN HERE 35 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,929 WITH A NOTE CLEARLY MARKED MINE. 36 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,597 - I DIDN'T TAKE 'EM. - IT WASN'T ME. 37 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,936 MAN, THEM STRAWBERRIES WAS GOOD EATIN'. 38 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,881 IT IS BECOMING ALL TOO CLEAR 39 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:33,151 HOW MY PREDECESSOR CHOSE TO RUN THINGS. 40 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,588 YOU WILL FIND THINGS TO BE QUITE DIFFERENT UNDER MY COMMAND, TOMMY. 41 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,257 UH, NO, I'M HARRY. 42 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,796 NO, I'VE DECIDED THAT FROM NOW ON YOU WILL BE KNOWN AS TOMMY. 43 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,165 WHAT ABOUT ME? 44 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,835 YOU WILL BE KNOWN AS TOMMY, TOO. 45 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,205 BUT WAIT. TOMMY AND THEN THE NUMBER 2, OR TOMMY AS WELL? 46 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,440 YOU WILL ALL BE KNOWN AS TOMMY! 47 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,177 - AND THAT'S NOT ALL. LIEUTENANT? - SIR! 48 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,980 - FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL WEAR SKIRTS. - SKIRTS? 49 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:05,150 SOMETHING LONG THAT LOOKS PRETTY WHEN YOU TWIRL. 50 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:08,720 AND STAY AWAY FROM PLEATS. YOU KNOW, NOTHING TOO FUSSY. 51 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,422 OKAY. 52 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:13,525 FURTHERMORE, WHEN COUPONS ARRIVE IN THE MAIL, 53 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,561 I GET FIRST DIBS. 54 00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,398 I MAY OPEN A BOX OF CEREAL TO GET THE PRIZE, 55 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,799 BUT I DO NOT THEN HAVE TO EAT... 56 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,402 THE CEREAL. 57 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:29,241 THE BATHROOM HAS BEEN STOCKED WITH TWO KINDS OF TOILET PAPER. 58 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,910 I, AND I ALONE, 59 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,845 GET THE QUILTED KIND. 60 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,683 YOU WILL GO TO A BARBER. I WILL GO TO A STYLIST. 61 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,986 BUT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE HAIR THAN YOU DO. 62 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:45,590 YOU WILL NEVER MENTION THAT AGAIN! 63 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,525 HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR, TOMMY? 64 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,862 All: YES. 65 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,831 ( '50s rock music playing ) 66 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,062 WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU WHAT TIME IT IS, 67 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,731 YOU DO NOT SAY "IT'S TIME TO DIE." 68 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,869 - AND, UH, WHERE DO I GO FOR WORK? - THE UNIVERSITY. 69 00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:35,173 AH. SO I RUN THE UNIVERSITY. 70 00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:40,044 NOT SO MUCH RUN. YOU TEACH A PHYSICS CLASS. 71 00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:42,114 I'M A TEACHER?! 72 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:45,450 WERE ALL THE JANITORS' JOBS TAKEN? 73 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,487 SIX MONTHS ON THIS PLANET, AND THAT'S ALL MY PREDECESSOR ACHIEVED. 74 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,489 HOW PITIFUL. 75 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,625 HE WAS SPENDING A LOT OF TIME ON THAT WHOLE DR. ALBRIGHT THING. 76 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:57,228 AH, YES, MARY. 77 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,564 I'VE GOT PLANS FOR HER. 78 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,772 THERE'S MY GIRL. 79 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,842 I FEEL SO PRETTY. 80 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,012 NOW PAY ATTENTION. I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU. 81 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,948 LIEUTENANT, TAKE THIS DOWN. 82 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,651 I WILL REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING ITEMS: 83 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:23,855 500 ROLLS OF SILVER REFLECTIVE DUCT TAPE, 84 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:27,025 144 CERAMIC CUSTARD CUPS, 85 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,827 ONE SUBATOMIC SPECTROMETER, AND ONE TURKEY BASTER. 86 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:34,532 YOU SEE, I AM BUILDING THE GREATEST INCUBATOR 87 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,801 THESE PUNY HUMANS 88 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,803 HAVE EVER KNOWN. 89 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,805 AND WHEN IT IS COMPLETED, 90 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:44,342 I WILL SPAWN MY OWN PRIVATE ARMY OF-- 91 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,381 OF... 92 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,349 FUZZY EASTER CHICKS. 93 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,054 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? YOU HAVE YOUR ASSIGNMENT. HOP TO IT! 94 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:59,891 - CAN YOU GIVE US A RIDE? - NO. THE CAR IS MINE, AND MINE ALONE. 95 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,761 YOU'RE HUMANS. USE YOUR FEET. 96 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:11,169 YOU KNOW, I WAS THIS CLOSE TO KICKING HIS BUTT. 97 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,071 YEAH. 98 00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:16,374 YEAH, I WAS GONNA KICK HIS BUTT, 99 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,210 BUT, YOU KNOW, I FIGURED YOU'D DO IT. 100 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,513 - WELL, WHEN HE COMES BACK, I'M KICKING HIS BUTT. - ALL RIGHT. 101 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,515 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COMPLAINING ABOUT, HUH? 102 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,751 I DESERVED HIS JOB. I SHOULD BE HIGH COMMANDER. 103 00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:29,387 I HAVE THE SENIORITY. I KNOW THE TERRITORY. 104 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,690 SO WHY WASN'T I PROMOTED, HUH? 105 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,725 BECAUSE I'M THE WOMAN. ONCE AGAIN, 106 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,726 THE WOMAN WAS PASSED OVER. 107 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,863 - YOU WANT ME TO KICK HIS BUTT? - HARRY, 108 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:41,767 THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY BUTT-KICKING. HE IS HIGH COMMANDER. 109 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,335 LIKE IT OR NOT, WE'RE SWORN TO FOLLOW HIM. 110 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,672 ANYWAY, MAYBE THIS MISSION COULD USE A LITTLE DISCIPLINE. 111 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,841 YEAH, NICE SKIRT, TOMMY. 112 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,813 ALL RIGHT, HOW DO YOU WORK A CAR? 113 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,618 ( thumping ) 114 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,220 SEE, IT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD FABRIC 115 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:05,190 AND CHEAP FABRIC. 116 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,291 THEN AGAIN, MY THIRD HUSBAND 117 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,293 LIKED 'EM CHEAP. 118 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,630 YES, YES, THAT'S FASCINATING. 119 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,866 SAY, DR. SOLOMON, COULD YOU COME OVER 120 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,302 AND GIVE ME A HAND WITH MY LINT TRAP? 121 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:21,639 NO, I... 122 00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:24,309 I'D LOVE TO REALLY, BUT I'M AFRAID IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 123 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,478 YOU SEE, I HAVE A BAD BACK. 124 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,547 I THINK I KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOWN HERE. 125 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,550 SAME REASON MY SECOND HUSBAND USED TO COME DOWN HERE. 126 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,317 ( loud bang ) 127 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,987 BOTTLE OF SCOTCH HIDDEN IN THE INSULATION. 128 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,156 ( banging ) 129 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,158 OF COURSE, I ALWAYS KNEW. 130 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,161 THE PINK FUZZ IN HIS BEER GAVE HIM AWAY. 131 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,430 ( banging ) 132 00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,465 ( humming ) 133 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,834 ( pants ) 134 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,802 - MRS. DUBCEK. - MM-HMM. 135 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,976 YES? 136 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,146 I NEED YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR. 137 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,315 COULD YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND TELL SALLY 138 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,317 THAT I'M DOWN HERE? 139 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,254 BUT IF YOU SEE ME STANDING THERE-- 140 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,422 AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT-- 141 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,359 DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME. 142 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,796 JUST TAKE SALLY ASIDE AND WHISPER IT TO HER. 143 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,798 WHATEVER YOU DO, MAKE SURE 144 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,201 I DON'T HEAR YOU. 145 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,605 COME AGAIN? 146 00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,143 ( sighs ) NEVER MIND. 147 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,079 ( plinks ) 148 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,721 ( door opens ) 149 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,998 STOP IT. 150 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,500 OKAY, HERE'S THE DUCT TAPE. HOW MUCH DO WE NEED? 151 00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:59,470 500 ROLLS, SILVER REFLECTIVE. 152 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,539 OKAY, WELL, HOW ABOUT EIGHT ROLLS 153 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,708 - OF SORT OF GRAYISH? - THAT'S FINE. 154 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,545 WHAT DO YOU THINK DICK'S DOING NOW? YOU KNOW, OLD DICK. 155 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,582 YOU DON'T THINK THEY REASSIGNED HIM TO THE BROWN PLANET, DO YOU? 156 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,151 OOH... 157 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,555 - DENNIS! - TOM, SALLY, HARRY. 158 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,657 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? 159 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:23,061 - WE JUST HAD TO PICK UP SOME DUCT TAPE. - I MEAN ON EARTH. 160 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,063 OH. WELL, WE'RE DOING THAT THING 161 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,432 WHERE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A HUMAN FAMILY. 162 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,434 I DODGED THAT ASSIGNMENT. 163 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,002 WE'VE SEEN YOU ON TV. 18 REBOUNDS A GAME. 164 00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:33,771 DON'T PEOPLE SUSPECT ANYTHING? 165 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,775 LOOK AT YOU-- THE HAIR, THE TATTOOS. 166 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,877 - LIKE YOU COULD BE HUMAN. - YEAH. 167 00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:44,015 THEY THINK I'M WEIRD OR SOMETHING. 168 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,717 I HEAR THAT. 169 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,286 LISTEN, DENNIS, I GOTTA ASK YOU. 170 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,288 MADONNA-- WHERE IS SHE FROM? 171 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,390 - DETROIT. - DETROIT, EARTH? 172 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,058 - GET OUT. - NO. 173 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,327 YEAH, SHE'S HERE. SHE'S HERE. 174 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,697 - WHAT ABOUT MICHAEL JORDAN? - ROBOT. 175 00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:03,068 - I TOLD YOU SO. SEE? - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 176 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,503 WELL, GUYS, I GOTTA BE GOING. 177 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,805 PROCEED BOLDLY AND WITH STEALTH. 178 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,975 JAM ON. 179 00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:27,025 I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH YOUR DESK. 180 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,093 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO IT 181 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,696 TO YOURS? 182 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,766 NO. I LIKE IT MESSY. 183 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,734 BAD GIRL. 184 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,171 SO, DR. ALBRIGHT, REFRESH MY MEMORY. 185 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,173 HAVE YOU AND I... 186 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,808 HAD SEX YET? 187 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,711 WHY, YES, I BELIEVE WE HAVE. 188 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,181 HOW WAS IT? 189 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,583 IT WAS... NICE. 190 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,453 NEXT TIME, IT WON'T BE... SO NICE. 191 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:05,262 - WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? - I DON'T KNOW, NINA. 192 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:08,065 NINA, WHERE'S THAT COMPREHENSIVE COURSE SYLLABUS? 193 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,369 YOU ONLY ASKED ME TO DO IT 10 MINUTES AGO. I'M NOT A MACHINE. 194 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,938 OH, PITY. 195 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,774 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TRYING TO SHOW OFF IN FRONT OF HER? 196 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,776 I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW OFF. 197 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,678 I JUST HAVE TO... 198 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,714 SHOW UP. 199 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,918 ISN'T HE NAUGHTY? 200 00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:34,292 OLD DICK WOULD HAVE NEVER ORDERED US OUT ONTO THE ROOF. 201 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,195 EXCEPT FOR THAT TIME HE ORDERED US OUT ONTO THE ROOF. 202 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,130 OH, WELL, THAT TIME, SURE. 203 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,068 A SMALL FIRE HAS BROKEN OUT IN THE LIVING ROOM. 204 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:47,338 THERE'S A FIRE EXTINGUISHER NEXT TO THE STOVE. 205 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:52,009 THE STOVE IS IN THE KITCHEN. 206 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,779 OBVIOUSLY. 207 00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,613 THIS GUY'S SUCH A HARD-ASS. 208 00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:59,050 MAY I REMIND YOU THAT THAT HARD-ASS IS OUR HIGH COMMANDER? 209 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,885 YOU'RE THE WEAPONS EXPERT. 210 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,187 ISN'T THERE SOME WAY TO GET RID OF HIM? 211 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,022 NO, WE'RE STUCK WITH HIM. 212 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,892 WE CAN'T JUST FRAG HIM WITH A GRENADE WHILE HE'S TAKING A SHOWER. 213 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,329 BUT LISTEN, SHOWERS ACCIDENTALLY EXPLODE ALL THE TIME. 214 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,731 - I DIDN'T HEAR THAT, SOLDIER. - HE SAID THAT SHOWERS-- 215 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,767 SHUT UP! 216 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:19,270 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER IS NOW ON FIRE. 217 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:24,008 - I MISS THE OLD DICK. - I MISS THE OLD DICK, TOO. 218 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,178 MISSING HIM'S NOT GOING TO BRING HIM BACK. 219 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,314 I WILL ADMIT THAT THE OLD DICK'S METHODS 220 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:32,484 WERE A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN THIS DICK, BUT... 221 00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:34,819 IT'S NOT UP TO US TO QUESTION HIS DIRECTIVES. 222 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,988 HE IS IN COMMAND, AND THAT'S THAT. 223 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,358 HE'S... 224 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,294 HE'S JUST MEAN, AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT. 225 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,129 WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 226 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,131 - YOU'RE GETTING ALL WET. STOP. - STOP LEAKING. 227 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,133 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. 228 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,469 AS DICK ALWAYS USED TO SAY, 229 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,404 NEVER LET 'EM SEE YOU LEAK. 230 00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:58,576 THE FIRE'S OUT OF CONTROL. I'LL BE BACK IN TWO HOURS. 231 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,749 I MISS DICK. ( sobbing ) 232 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,152 ( sobs ) 233 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,129 ( rings ) 234 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,064 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 235 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,569 ( rings ) 236 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,504 WHAT DO YOU WANT?! 237 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:30,275 ( rings ) 238 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,777 STOP IT. 239 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,512 ( rings ) 240 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,447 STOP IT! 241 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,687 HELLO. 242 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:45,557 DR. ALBRIGHT, DINNER, MY PLACE, TONIGHT. 243 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,561 - IS THAT AN INVITATION? - NO. 244 00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:51,562 WELL... 245 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,698 THE CAT THINKS HE HAS THE MOUSE BY THE TAIL. 246 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,269 YES, BUT SOMETIMES THE CAT LIKES TO... 247 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,371 PLAY WITH HIS PREY 248 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,340 BEFORE HE GOES IN FOR THE KILL. 249 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,444 WELL, THE CAT MAY HAVE CLAWS, 250 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,846 BUT THE MOUSE IS QUICK. 251 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,614 TRUE, 252 00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,017 BUT THE MOUSE WILL ALWAYS FALL 253 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,952 FOR THE CHEESE. 254 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,990 THE CAT LIKES A LITTLE CHEESE, TOO. 255 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,058 AND MILK, AND DEAD BIRDS... 256 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,395 BUT HE ALWAYS 257 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,697 LICKS HIMSELF CLEAN. 258 00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,971 YOU WERE ASKING ME TO DINNER? 259 00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,140 - UH, YES. - I'LL BE THERE. 260 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,344 ( yowls ) 261 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,548 NO, I'M THE CAT! 262 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,986 HERE'S THE SYLLABUS THAT YOU WANTED. 263 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:51,489 WHY, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, NINA. 264 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,424 SO... 265 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,359 EXQUISITELY BEAUTIFUL. 266 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,862 WELL, WE GOT A NEW TONER CARTRIDGE-- 267 00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,797 DON'T BE SO MODEST. 268 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,239 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 269 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,944 ALL RIGHT. 270 00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,782 ( class bell rings ) 271 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,996 EXCUSE ME. THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. 272 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,165 THIS CLASSROOM IS MINE. FIND YOUR OWN. 273 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,269 DR. SOLOMON, WE WERE ALL JUST WAITING FOR OUR GRADES. 274 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,805 OH, GRADES. 275 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,040 I DIDN'T REALIZE TEACHING INVOLVED 276 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,309 EVALUATION. 277 00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,078 VERY WELL. 278 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,114 YOU NEED YOUR HAIR STRAIGHTENED. 279 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,816 YOU'RE TOO SHORT FOR YOUR FACE. 280 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:55,686 YOU HAVE A MUSEUM-QUALITY TORSO. 281 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,589 YOU... ARE HARMLESS. 282 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,624 YOU WILL BE SPARED AND USED TO CARRY 283 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,827 HEAVY THINGS. 284 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,863 - YOU-- - DR. SOLOMON, WE MEANT OUR LETTER GRADES. 285 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,101 I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU ALL... 286 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,971 - "D"s. - WE GOT "D"s. 287 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,907 ( all cheering ) 288 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,513 ( applause on TV ) 289 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,582 ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL? I MEAN, LOOK AT HER, 290 00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,818 REUNITED WITH THE BIRTH MOTHER 291 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,855 SHE NEVER KNEW. ( sobbing ) 292 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,857 I LOVE "RICKI LAKE." 293 00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:37,194 THE OTHER DAY, THIS WOMAN FINALLY CAME FACE-TO-FACE WITH HER STALKER. 294 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,430 AND HE WAS SO SWEET, SHE AGREED 295 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,932 TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH HIM. 296 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,202 HMM, WELL, MAYBE IF I WENT ON THAT SHOW, 297 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,403 THEY WOULD REUNITE ME WITH DICK-- 298 00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,641 JOHNSON. 299 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,877 DICK JOHNSON. LITTLE DICKIE JOHNSON. 300 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,812 STOP LOOKING AT ME. 301 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,650 AND WHO IS THIS EXQUISITE CREATURE? 302 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:03,487 UH... MAYBE YOU'D BETTER GO DOWNSTAIRS, MRS. DUBCEK. 303 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,389 MRS. DUBCEK. 304 00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:08,526 I WILL SEE YOU LATER, MRS. DUBCEK. 305 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,936 ( yowls ) 306 00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:24,641 TURN THAT RUBBISH OFF. 307 00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:27,078 FROM NOW ON, WE WATCH ONLY GOLF. 308 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,615 BUT I WAS GOING TO WATCH "THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW." 309 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,587 TRANSMISSION INCOMING FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD. 310 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,090 WARNING, WARNING! 311 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,125 DANGER, DANGER! 312 00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,126 DUE TO A CLERICAL ERROR, 313 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:46,430 YOUR HIGH COMMANDER MAY HAVE BEEN ACCIDENTALLY REPLACED 314 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,066 BY A DISGRUNTLED FORMER EMPLOYEE 315 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,068 OF THE BIG GIANT HEAD. 316 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,070 HE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED 317 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,106 AND EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT. 318 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:58,376 AND REMEMBER, WHEN YOU'RE THINKING OF GIANT HEADS, 319 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,611 THINK OF THE BIG GIANT HEAD. 320 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,216 RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS IN THREE, 321 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,218 TWO, ONE. 322 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,694 ALL RIGHT, WHAT WAS IT? 323 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,695 - WRONG NUMBER. - OH. 324 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,631 ( chuckling ) 325 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,674 NOW SHUT UP AND GET ME THAT TURKEY BASTER! 326 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,514 WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME GET THE TURKEY BASTER? 327 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,858 TWO. ♪ OH, HER NAME WAS LOLA ♪ 328 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,860 ♪ SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL ♪ 329 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,729 ♪ WITH YELLOW FEATHERS IN HER HAIR ♪ 330 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,731 ♪ AND A DRESS CUT DOWN TO THERE ♪ 331 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:57,134 ♪ SHE WOULD MERENGUE ♪ HI, OLD DICK. 332 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,537 ♪ AND DO THE CHA-CHA-- ♪ 333 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,476 - DICK! - HARRY! 334 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,745 - OH! - OH! 335 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,515 OW, OW, OW, OW, 336 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,449 OW-WW. 337 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,023 - INVISIBLE BOX? - YEAH. 338 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,291 OH. 339 00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:24,695 TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY! 340 00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,265 - YES? - WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? 341 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,935 I DISTINCTLY ASKED FOR REFLECTIVE DUCT TAPE. 342 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,770 OH, ABOUT THAT, SEE, THAT WAS ALL THEY HAD. 343 00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:36,941 ( scoffs ) TYPICAL. DID YOU GET THE CUSTARD CUPS? 344 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,376 WE DIDN'T SO MUCH GET THEM 345 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,345 AS FAILED TO GET THEM, SIR. 346 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,616 DID YOU TRY JENNY'S RESTAURANT SUPPLY ON FIFTH STREET? 347 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:48,485 - THEY'RE NOT OPEN TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC. - OH. 348 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:52,456 THAT'S RIGHT. CAN'T LET JUST ANYONE MAKE CUSTARD. 349 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,458 NO, OF COURSE NOT, NOT ON THIS PLANET. 350 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,161 NO, NO, THAT WOULD BE TOO SIMPLE. 351 00:19:57,163 --> 00:20:00,131 NO, WE HAVE RETAIL, AND WE HAVE WHOLESALE. 352 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,767 WE HAVE PINK PACKETS AND BLUE PACKETS, 353 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,768 REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS, 354 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,270 AND THE PARTY THAT CRAZY MIDGET STARTED. 355 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,713 SO MANY CHOICES. 356 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,281 HOW THEY ALL LOVE THEIR FREE WILL. 357 00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,585 EVERYBODY HAS A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW. 358 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:24,388 THERE SHOULD BE ONLY ONE POINT OF VIEW-- 359 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,057 MY POINT OF VIEW. 360 00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:32,096 WELL, I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR THESE HUMANS. 361 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,998 THE BUFFET IS ABOUT TO CLOSE 362 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,934 FOREVER. 363 00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:40,204 ( maniacal laughter ) 364 00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,447 ( panting ) 365 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,716 - ( whimpers ) - WHAT IS IT, BOY? 366 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,689 I THINK HE WANTS US TO FOLLOW HIM. 367 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,695 - DICK! - DICK! 368 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,831 SALLY! NO, LOOK OUT! THERE'S AN INVISIBLE-- 369 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,267 - AN INVISIBLE-- - ( grunts ) 370 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,903 ( both groan ) 371 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,972 OH, YOU GUYS, 372 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,907 THERE'S AN INVISIBLE BOX. 373 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,850 ( '50s rock music playing ) 28545

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.