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[ STATIC ]
>> ♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD AND
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00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:13,079
BURIED ♪
♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN WOULD
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00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:20,887
JUST EXPLODE ♪
♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME TO
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00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:26,426
HIS KINGDOM ♪
♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF
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00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,661
BITCHES WHEN I GO ♪
>> Rusty: MY TURN.
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00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:29,496
>> Early: HELL NO.
>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT
THING!
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00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:34,234
>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,903
[ TRIES SQUEAL ]
>> Rusty: DADDY, WATCH THE ROAD!
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00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,938
>> Early: YOU WATCH YOUR DAMN
MOUTH.
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00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,173
ROAD AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.
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00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,108
I'M GONNA DIAL ME UP A GOOD-ASS
SONG.
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00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,277
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> Rusty: UH-OH, THAT WAS THE
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00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,078
SHERIFF.
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00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:46,246
>> Early: AH, IT'S JUST THE
SHERIFF.
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00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,615
[ SIREN WAILS ]
AH, HELL, THE SHERIFF.
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00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,850
I CAN'T BE LOCKED UP THIS
WEEKEND.
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00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:51,785
IT'S THE DAMN WEEKEND.
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00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:52,952
>> Rusty: DADDY, LOOK OUT.
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00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:53,787
HE'S GAINING ON US.
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00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,288
>> Early: MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO
DRIVE.
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00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,956
JUST WAKE ME UP WHEN WE GET
THERE.
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00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,959
>> Rusty: DADDY, NO!
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00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,463
[ HISSING ]
>> Early: W-WHAT HAPPENED?
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00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,597
>> Rusty: OH, HELL.
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00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:05,632
WE HIT THE OLD SWEET GUM TREE.
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00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,802
>> Early: AW, THEM PIGS CAN'T DO
JACK-SQUAT TO YOU.
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00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:09,702
HELL, YOU A MINOR.
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00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:11,438
PLUS, YOU KNOW, YOU WAS DRUNK
NOW.
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00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,139
>> Rusty: BUT I AIN'T BEEN
DRINKING.
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00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,307
>> Early: THERE YOU GO.
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00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:15,442
THAT OUGHT TO SELL IT.
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00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:18,044
>> Rusty: WAIT, DAD, I DON'T
WANT TO GO TO JAIL.
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00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,646
>> Early: YOU THINK I DO?
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COME ON, NOW, DON'T YOU LOVE ME?
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[ KNOCK ON WINDOW ]
>> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ]
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00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,454
RUSTY, RUSTY, RUSTY. AGAIN, SON?
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THIS MUST BE THE THIRD TIME I'VE
PULLED YOU OVER THIS WEEK.
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>> Early: [ LAUGHS ]
BOYS WILL BE BOYS, RIGHT,
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00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,327
SHERIFF?
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00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,896
>> Sheriff: WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO
SAY FOR YOURSELF?
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00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:37,964
>> Early: YOU A MINOR.
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00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:38,998
>> Rusty: I'M A MINOR.
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Y'ALL PIGS CAN'T DO JACK-SQUAT
TO ME.
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I'M A MINOR.
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00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:42,402
>> Early: YOU HEARD HIM.
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HE'S A MINOR.
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WE AIN'T HARMING NOBODY.
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>> Sheriff: WELL, Y'ALL DAMN
NEAR TOOK OUT THE OLD SWEET GUM
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TREE.
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THIS IS A HISTORICAL LANDMARK.
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GENERAL ROBERT E. LEE PRESSED
HIS BUBBLE GUM INTO THIS
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00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:56,149
MAJESTIC OAK RIGHT AFTER HE
SIGNED THE TREATY OF APPOMATTOX.
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>> THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER CARVED
HIS NAME ON THIS TREE BEFORE HE
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WAS BURIED UNDER IT.
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SEE? "RICK SUX."
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00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,192
>> Sheriff: Y'ALL CAUSE ANY HARM
TO THIS TREE, AND THE WHOLE DAMN
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00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,528
TOWN'S GONNA BE UP IN ARMS.
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00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,263
>> Early: IT'S A GOOD THING
NOBODY WAS HURT.
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00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:13,433
[ ENGINE SPUTTERS ]
>> Early: WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU
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00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,033
LATER.
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00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,201
>> Sheriff: HOLD ON, NOW.
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00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,871
I'M ACTUALLY PULLIN' Y'ALL OVER
BECAUSE OF THIS ATM MACHINE
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00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,539
ATTACHED TO YOUR BUMPER BACK
HERE.
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00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,507
>> OH, IT'S HOT.
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00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,008
IT'S GOTTEN SO HOT.
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00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:24,177
>> Early: WELL, THAT THERE COME
WITH THE TRUCK.
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00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:25,345
YOU KNOW, PART OF THE SPORT
PACKAGE.
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00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:29,149
>> Sheriff: [ LAUGHS ]
NICE TRY, EARLY, BUT, NO, IT
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00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,016
DIDN'T.
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IT'S DELIBERATELY CHAINED TO
YOUR BUMPER.
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00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:36,723
>> Early: RUSTY, YOU TOOK A ATM
WHILST I WAS ASLEEP IN THE
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00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,557
BACKSEAT?
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00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,025
>> Rusty: NO, I DIDN'T DO THAT,
DADDY.
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00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:39,893
>> Early: HE DONE IT.
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I WITNESSED THE WHOLE THING.
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00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,696
>> Sheriff: WELL, YOU JUST SAID
YOU WAS ASLEEP IN THE BACKSEAT.
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>> Early: I'M CHANGING MY STORY.
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00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,133
>> Rusty: DADDY, YOU AIN'T GOT
TO DO THIS.
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00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,701
>> Early: WHY, RUSTY, WHY?!
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00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:49,536
AFTER ALL I'VE DONE TO YOU.
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00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,405
>> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ]
CUFF HIM, DENNY.
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00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,340
>> Rusty: Y-Y'ALL REMEMBER NOW,
YOU CAN'T DO JACK-SQUAT TO ME,
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RIGHT?
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00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:56,075
'C-'CAUSE I'M A MINOR.
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00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,311
>> Sheriff: YOU KEEP SAYING
THAT, BUT THE BOYS FROM ATLANTA
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00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,313
MAY WANT TO TRY YOU AS AN ADULT.
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00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,248
>> Early: IT'LL WORK OUT.
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00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,149
TAKE CARE NOW.
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00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,084
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
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00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,386
[ SIREN CHIRPS ]
IN SEVEN -- WITH GOOD BEHAVIOR,
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00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,388
MAYBE.
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00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,156
>> Rusty: HEY, WHEN DO YOU THINK
I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE?
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00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:13,593
>> Sheriff: YOU'RE LOOKING AT
SOME HARD TIME HERE, RUSTY.
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00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,496
PROBABLY GONNA HAVE TO PUT SOME
OF THEM SERVICE-INDUSTRY DREAMS
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ON HOLD FOR A WHILE.
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00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,066
>> Rusty: YEAH, BUT DADDY'S
GONNA HAVE A HEAD FULL OF
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00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,868
HORNETS IF I AIN'T HOME ON TIME
TO --
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00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:22,735
>> Sheriff: WHAT?
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00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:24,070
TAKE THE RAP FOR HIM AGAIN?
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00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,772
>> Early: GET YOUR ASS ON THE
FLOOR.
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RIGHT THERE'S YOUR MAN.
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00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:27,607
>> Rusty: HUH?
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00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:28,741
>> Early: HE DONE IT.
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00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:29,609
WELL, I SEEN IT.
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I CAN'T BELIEVE MY ONLY SON
WOULD DO THIS.
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00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:32,579
>> Rusty: WHAT?
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00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,580
>> Early: GO ON.
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00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,615
HAUL HIS DAMN SMART-ASS MOUTH
IN.
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00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,350
I GUESS HE FINALLY GOT FED UP
WITH HIMSELF.
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00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,552
THEN HE ASSAULTED HISSELF.
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00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:40,453
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS WHAT I SEE.
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00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,289
>> Sheriff: I'M GONNA ASK YOU
ONE MORE TIME.
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WHO'S BEEN STEALING ALL THESE
ATMs, RUSTY?
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00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,861
>> Rusty: UM, I PLEAD THE
FOURTH.
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00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:52,031
>> Sheriff: YOU PLEAD THE RIGHT
FOR WOMEN TO VOTE?
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00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,866
>> Rusty: WELL, I AIN'T AGAINST
IT.
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00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,802
>> Sheriff: WELL, IT'S YOUR
RIGHT.
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00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:56,803
I CAN'T DENY YOU.
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00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,105
BUT WE KNOW WHO TOOK THESE ATMs,
RUSTY.
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00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:03,376
IT'S JUST A MATTER WHETHER
YOU'RE GONNA HELP US OR NOT.
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00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,577
DAMN, HE'S SHARP.
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00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:09,048
I TOLD HIM I KNEW WHO DID IT,
BUT I COULD GET IN TROUBLE FOR
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00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:09,616
LYING.
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00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,317
WHO DO YOU THINK DID IT?
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00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:15,255
>> Early: YOU SAID THIS WAS
GONNA BE EASY TO BUST OPEN.
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00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:18,458
THIS AIN'T A DAMN THING LIKE
THE SALVATION ARMY BUCKET.
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00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:21,127
>> Granny: IT'S THE SAME BASIC
PRINCIPLE.
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00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:23,463
JUST SMASH THE GUY WITH THE
BELL, AND YOU WIN THE MONEY.
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00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,665
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO.
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00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,000
>> Rusty: GRANNY, IT'S ME.
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00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,001
I'M IN JAIL AGAIN.
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00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,003
>> Granny: No, no, take us off
your list.
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00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,170
Thank you.
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00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,472
>> Rusty: NO, GRANNY, I NEED
Y'ALL TO COME DOWN AND BAIL ME
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00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:33,006
OUT.
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00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,408
[ Dial tone ]
GRANNY?
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00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:38,311
>> Granny: I JUST HEARD RUSTY'S
IN JAIL.
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00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:42,682
OH, I TIRED TO BE A ROLE MODEL,
TEACH HIM HOW TO BE MORAL AND
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00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:46,352
RESPONSIBLE, WALK THE PATH OF
THE LORD ALMIGHTY.
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00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,422
WHERE THE HELL'S THE ONE FROM
THE CREDIT UNION?
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00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,591
>> Early: I CRACKED THAT
SUMBITCH LIKE A EGG.
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00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,860
[ VIDEO GAME BEEPS ]
>> Granny: THAT'S THAT
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00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,028
"MONKEY KING" MACHINE.
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00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,530
WHY DO YOU THINK THEY HAD TIGERS
ON ALL THE COINS?
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00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,699
>> Early: A TIGER COULD BE
PRESIDENT.
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00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,867
HELL, YOU DON'T KNOW.
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00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:04,170
>> Granny: PUT YOUR BACK INTO
IT, YOU LAZY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING
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00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:05,038
SON OF A WHORE.
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00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,039
WAIT A MINUTE.
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00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,541
I JUST SAID THAT IN CASE YOU
AIN'T MY SON.
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00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,844
>> Early: HOW ABOUT YOU SWING
THIS HAMMER, OLD-TIMER?
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00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:13,546
I BEEN AT THIS SUMBITCH ALL DAY.
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00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,348
>> Granny: HAND IT TO ME, MA'AM.
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00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,116
SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE.
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[ SHATTERING ]
[ GROANS ]
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00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:23,389
[ SIREN CHIRPS ]
IT'S THE HEAT! TARP UP.
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00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,225
>> Early: SHERIFF, YOU KNOW, YOU
GOT YOUR MAN.
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00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,393
WHAT YOU SNOOPING AROUND HERE
FOR?
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00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:31,297
>> Sheriff: WELL, YOU SEEM
AWFULLY RELAXED, KNOWING THAT
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00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:35,401
YOUR ONLY SON COULD BE DOING A
LONG STRETCH IN COUNTY LOCKUP.
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00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,969
>> Granny: RUSTY'S IN JAIL?
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00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:38,204
OH, WHY, RUSTY, WHY?
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00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,405
>> Early: WE TRIED TO DO RIGHT
BY HIM.
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00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,541
MAYBE IT WAS OUR LACK OF
COMMITMENT.
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00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:42,809
HELL, I DON'T KNOW.
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00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:46,913
>> Granny: OH, WE ALWAYS HAD THE
RIGHT IDEA, WE JUST NEVER REALLY
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00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,082
FELT LIKE FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH
IT.
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00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,983
>> Early: BEING A PARENT IS
BORING.
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00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:51,751
>> Sheriff: SAVE IT, EARLY.
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00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,386
WE DUSTED THE MACHINE FOR
PRINTS.
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00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:56,422
BUT ALL Y'ALL SUCKERS JUST LOOK
THE SAME -- CIRCLES.
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00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:59,092
>> Early: ALL RIGHT, FINE.
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00:05:59,192 --> 00:05:59,926
I ADMIT IT.
RUSTY STOLE THE ATMs.
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00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:04,163
THERE AIN'T NO USE IN COVERING
FOR HIM.
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00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,398
I CAN TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
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00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,100
>> Sheriff: THAT DON'T MATTER.
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00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,169
HE'S ALREADY BEEN TRIED IN THE
MEDIA, AND THEY MAY BE USING A
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00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:10,903
QUOTE FROM ME.
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00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,271
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Early: YOU MEAN THE
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00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,506
TV-LOOKY-BOX MEDIA?
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00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:14,774
>> Sheriff: WELL, HELL, WHY DO
YOU THINK I HAD MY HAIR DONE.
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00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,777
>> Early: YOU RECKON THEY GONNA
NEED SOME B-ROLL OF THE FAMILY?
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00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,512
>> Granny: THEY'RE PROBABLY
GONNA NEED SOME INTERVIEWS WITH
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00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:21,681
THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE MONSTER.
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00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:22,749
>> Sheriff: NO, STORY'S DONE,
GRANNY.
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00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,786
THEY EVEN GIVE RUSTY A
NICKNAME -- KID SQUID, THE ATM
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00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:27,620
BANDIT.
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00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,123
W-WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THESE TARPS
HERE?
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00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,258
>> Early: INTERVIEW'S OVER.
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00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,527
{\an8}>> HIS NAME IS RUSSELL CUYLER,
BUT THE COMMUNITY IS CALLING HIM
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00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:35,695
{\an8}"KID SQUID."
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00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:39,232
{\an8}THIS ARTIST'S SKETCH OF THE
SUSPECT SEEMS SUPERFLUOUS WHEN
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00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:41,434
{\an8}THERE ARE ALL THESE MUG SHOTS OF
THE SUSPECT AND THIS VIDEO.
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00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,404
{\an8}>> Early: HE'S THE ONE WHAT DONEIT.
195
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,539
{\an8}THEY FRAMED ME OUT OF THE DAMN
SHOT.
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00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:49,609
{\an8}>> WHEN WE INFORMED THE SHERIFF
THAT THREE MORE ATMs HAD
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00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,445
{\an8}DISAPPEARED SINCE THE
APPREHENSION OF KID SQUID, THE
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00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:53,946
{\an8}SHERIFF HAD THIS TO SAY.
199
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:57,283
{\an8}>> Sheriff: I MEAN, MY HAIR IS
KIND OF FINE IN SOME PLACES, BUT
200
00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,453
{\an8}I KEEP IT LONG ON THE SIDES SO I
CAN KIND OF FOOF IT OVER ON THE
201
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,788
{\an8}OTHER SIDE.
202
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,657
{\an8}NOBODY CAN TELL. CAN YOU SEE IT?
203
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,492
{\an8}IS THAT -- IS THAT CAMERA ON?
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00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:09,629
{\an8}>> REPORTING LIVE FROM
DOUGAL COUNTY, DOUG RICHARDS.
205
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:13,399
{\an8}STAY TUNED FOR THE VERY LATESTON THE STORY OF KID SQUID.
206
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,501
>> Granny: YOU PRETEND TO
SACRIFICE SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIDS.
207
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,638
>> Early: I FORCED HIM TO TAKE
THE BLAME FOR MY BAD-ASS CRIMES,
208
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:22,975
AND THEN HE TURNS AROUND AND
STEALS ALL THE CREDIT ON THE
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00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:23,643
DAMN TV-LOOKITY-BOX.
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00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,846
NO, SIR. HELL NO!
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00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,482
[ DRILL WHIRRING ]
AIN'T NO WAY RUSTY CAN CLAIM
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00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:29,982
THIS.
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00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,284
HELL, HE'S IN JAIL.
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00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:32,518
THIS IS MY CRIME.
215
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:35,488
>> Granny: OH, I REMEMBER WHEN
SHE WAS ONLY A LITTLE SAPLING.
216
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:39,459
BACK THEN, THEY TRIED TO USE IT
TO LYNCH THE YANKEES, BUT IT WAS
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00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:43,863
TOO SMALL, AND THEM BASTARDS
WOULD JUST UPROOT IT AND RUN
218
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,097
OFF.
219
00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:48,868
THEN IT GOT BURNT TO THE GROUND
DURING THE BATTLE OF ATLANTA.
220
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,771
AND IT WAS HIT BY THE JAPS
DURING PEARL HARBOR.
221
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,873
>> [ SHOUTS IN JAPANESE ]
>> Granny: BUT WE KEEP
222
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:57,210
REBUILDING THIS TREE STRONGER
THAN EVER BECAUSE MAGICAL COOKIE
223
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:57,877
ELVES LIVE INSIDE IT.
224
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,213
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD.
225
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,048
>> Early: YEAH, WELL, WE'LL SEE.
226
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,218
WE'LL JUST SEE HOW MUCH
EVERYBODY LOVES THE OLD SWEET
227
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,286
GUM TREE...WHEN IT'S DEAD.
228
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:07,887
{\an8}LOOK WHAT I DONE.
229
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,356
{\an8}EARLY CUYLER, BABY. WHOO!
230
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:14,293
{\an8}ONLY A CRIMINAL MIND COULD
MASTERMIND THE POISONING OF THIS
231
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,229
{\an8}TREE WITH POISON THE WAY I DONE
IT, BABY.
232
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,064
{\an8}HELL YEAH. EARLY CUYLER, BABY!
233
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,866
{\an8}OUTLAW EARLY CUYLER.
234
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,367
{\an8}I CAN'T BE -- OH!
235
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:22,735
{\an8}OH, YEAH?
236
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,706
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA GO TELL YOUR
GRANDYOUNG'ERNS ABOUT THE DAMN
237
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,541
DAY YOU HIT ME WITH A BAG OF DOG
FECES!
238
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,476
[ CRIES ]
DAMN.
239
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:34,380
I DIDN'T GET NO KIND OF FOOT
TRAFFIC TODAY.
240
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,748
COUPLE OF CARS, MAYBE.
241
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,682
THE WHOLE DAMN DAY WAS A WASH.
242
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:40,152
>> Granny: YOU GOT TO GIVE IT
TIME TO BUILD.
243
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,688
MAYBE DO A PODCAST, GET YOUR
NAME OUT THERE.
244
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:44,323
YOU KNOW, LIKE RUSTY.
245
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:45,925
>> Early: RUSTY, RUSTY.
246
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,094
EVERYBODY LOVES THE DAMN RUSTY.
247
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,096
I HOPE HIS ASS ROTS IN JAIL.
248
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,264
>> Granny: RUSTY'S IN JAIL?
249
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,399
>> Early: SHUT YOUR DUST HOLE,
BITCH -- I GOT TO LISTEN TO MY
250
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:54,700
SOUND MACHINE.
251
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,936
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BROCK BELL HEREON COOL A.M. 1680, THE HEAT.
252
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,272
>> Rusty: OH, HE'S GONNA TALK
ABOUT MY TREE.
253
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,073
HERE IT COMES. IT IS MY TIME.
254
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,442
>> THIS KID SQUID IS REALLYCHAPPING MY HIDE.
255
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:03,943
>> Early: WHAT THE...
256
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,278
TALK ABOUT THE TREE.
257
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,414
>> SO CALL IN, TELL ME WHAT YOUTHINK ABOUT KID SQUID SO I CAN
258
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:11,117
OFFEND YOU AND CUT YOU OFF
BEFORE YOU CAN MAKE YOUR POINT.
259
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,920
I GOT A BUNCH OF TOILET-FLUSH
AND WHIP-CRACK AUDIO FILES, SO
260
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,021
LET'S DO THIS.
261
00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:16,689
[ RINGING ]
OH, WELL, WE GOT A BITE HERE.
262
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,624
EARLY IN DOUGAL COUNTY, WHAT'S
CHAPPING YOUR HIDE, FRIEND?
263
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:22,128
>> Early: YOU TALKING ABOUT
KID SQUID LIKE HE'S SOME BIG
264
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:22,628
DAMN DEAL.
265
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:23,629
WELL, HE AIN'T.
266
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,765
I'M THE ONE WHAT STOLE THEM
ATMs.
267
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:26,799
ME!
268
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:27,533
>> ALL RIGHT, WE GOT US ASWAGGER-JACKER HERE.
269
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,768
>> SWAGGER-JACKER.
270
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:32,238
>> WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD ANDTELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR FANCY
271
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,239
CRIMES.
272
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,107
>> Early: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I
DONE THIS WEEK.
273
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,643
I GO ON DOWN INTO TOWN SQUARE,
AND I POISONED THE OLD SWEET GUM
274
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:38,778
TREE WITH POISON!
275
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,881
>> YOU DO REALIZE THATGENERAL LEE PRESSED HIS GUM
276
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:44,617
INTO THIS TREE BEFORE HE SIGNED
THE TREATY OF APPOMATTOX?
277
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:45,985
>> Early: YOU THINK I CARE?
278
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,821
GOD GIVE US TREES SO WE COULD
SHOW HOW DAMN SUPERIOR WE ARE
279
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:49,488
TO THEM.
280
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,823
I'M GONNA HANG UP AND LISTEN.
281
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,326
EARLY CUYLER, BABY! WHOO!
282
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,627
FINALLY, SWEET ADMISSION FOR MY
CRIMES.
283
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:58,564
>> Sheriff: THERE AIN'T A LOT I
CAN CHARGE YOU WITH, EARLY,
284
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,333
SINCE THE TREE IS STILL ALIVE.
285
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,135
>> Early: BUT LEAVES WAS FALLING
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
286
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,504
PRETTY YELLERS AND ORANGE AND
RED.
287
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,440
>> Sheriff: IT'S AUTUMN, EARLY.
288
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:08,908
THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.
289
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:11,911
PLUS, YOU CAN'T KILL A TREE BY
POURING LIGHT BEER ON IT.
290
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,512
>> Early: ALCOHOL POISONING.
291
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,814
ONLY I WAS TRYING TO BINGE IT TO
DEATH.
292
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:17,483
YOU KNOW, LIKE THEM FRAT BOYS
DONE.
293
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:20,353
>> Sheriff: LOOK, YOU'RE FREE TO
GO, BUT IF I WAS YOU, I'D HANG
294
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,253
IN HERE THROUGH THE WEEKEND.
295
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,822
[ DISTANT SHOUTING ]
>> Early: THE WEEKEND?
296
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,824
THAT'S MY CHILL-OUT TIME.
297
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:27,193
RUSTY, YOU THINK YOU COULD TAKE
THE HEAT FOR THIS?
298
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,028
>> Rusty: WHAT YOU TALKING
ABOUT, DADDY?
299
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,162
I BEEN IN JAIL ALL WEEK.
300
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,697
>> Early: [ Voice breaking ]
DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR POOR OLD
301
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:32,131
DADDY?
302
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,666
>> Rusty: FINE.
303
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:34,834
I POISONED THE TREE, TOO.
304
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:35,935
>> Early: YOU HEARD HIM.
305
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:36,936
HE CONFESSED.
306
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,005
NO GO AHEAD AND RELEASE ME ON MY
OWN RENAISSANCE.
307
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,173
>> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ]
SUIT YOURSELF.
308
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:43,175
>> All: KILL HIM! KILL HIM!
309
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:44,677
KILL HIM!
310
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,779
>> Early: NOLO CONTENDRO.
311
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,548
GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE TO PLEAD
THE FOURTH ON THIS ONE.
312
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,716
GET THE HELL OFF OF THERE.
313
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,051
>> Rusty: AAH!
314
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,654
{\an8}[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ]
>> "RICK SUX."
60123
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