Original subtitles

Once upon a time, there was a little man named Waldo. Waldo was a very successful stockbroker,

a good husband and father, and a pillar of his suburban bedroom community. But one day,

Waldo looked at the world he lived in, and he was not happy with what he saw. There's

too much hate and too much suffering, he thought to himself. The world needs more love. Then

his eyes lit up. Who better to spread that love, he decided, than Cupid, the god of love, himself.

At that moment, Waldo stopped being Waldo. He found a toy dart gun that had belonged

to one of his children, put on some pink tights and a diaper, and became, in his mind, Cupid,

the god of love. Of course, Waldo's family didn't understand his sudden transformation

from stockbroker to the Roman god of love. After all, this was not something that happened

every day. They tried to have Waldo locked up, for his own good, of course. But the

judge just put someone in charge of Waldo's financial affairs and told everyone to leave

Waldo alone. Every day, Waldo would put on his diaper and go flitting about in search

of suitable targets for his darts of love. One fine morning, he found himself at the

home of Steven and Lucinda. They were not home. Waldo searched hard for a possible rabbit

or dog or anything that could benefit from his wonderful darts. But try as he might,

he couldn't even find a mouse. So, spying a bowl of fruit, Waldo decided that whoever

ate of the fruit struck by the dart of love would immediately be consumed with passion.

Waldo loaded his gun, took careful aim, and shot the bowl of fruit.

Having done all he could do, he went flitting stealthily from the house, leaving the fruit

in his absence to work its magic upon anyone that chose to eat it.

Ready? Buttercup.

I missed you, Snuggums.

It's in the mail.

Come on Lucinda, I'm really very tired. had a rough day at work, okay? Aw, my Snooki

Bear is tired. You need a piece of fruit to get your energy back.

Come on Lucy, I'm tired, okay? Let me just read the paper. This one might sniff a bit

of you. Risky.

Come on Lucy, okay?

Hi Jack. Hi Steve. Hi Jack.

Yes. Sure. Oh, Steve. I got a couple tickets for a hockey game tonight. Wanna go? No.

No, I'm really tired. Thanks a Another time. Alright, some other night then.

Hello, Stephen. How did you get in here, Marge? And what do you want? Well, that's no way

to talk to your wife. You're not my wife, Marge. You're my ex-wife. Look, if it's the check,

I sent it in the mail yesterday. If it's the kid, I'll be happy to take him next week.

If it's blood, you want, Marge. You took it all. I don't have any more. My, aren't we

cranky this morning. Actually, I was just in the neighborhood and I thought that I'd stop

by and see how you and that adorable young wife of yours are doing. Where is the sweet thing

anyway? I don't know. Look, Marge, don't you have some sort of a fundraiser for crippled

Armenian organ grinders that you have to attend to or something, If I didn't know any better,

I'd think you were trying to get rid of me. I am, Marge, I am. Trust me, I am.

How nice, Steven. You remember them. Come on, Marge. Cut it out. But you used to love

them. They were your favorites. Come on, Marge. Get serious. What if Lucinda were supposed

to walk in here and see this? I don't care. If she wants to look at him, she can. You

still love me, don't you? What's gotten into you, Marge? I was hoping you would. Come

on, Marge. You know I could never resist when you did that to me. I know.

just say that the ex-wife is the better lover. Oh, God. What proof that the ex-husband has

too? Oh! Oh, you're terrific. Oh! Oh!

You don't do that to her too, do you? No, not as well as I do it to you. God, come back and

do it then.

Oh!

As the mists of passion enveloped both couples, a raging storm took place outside. But no

one in the house ever knew it had existed. Waldo's darts of love proved to be a powerful

potion. And while Marge and Steven made love on the couch, and Lucinda and Steven's best

friend Jack made love in the bedroom, many lines of power were struck down by the violent

winds. The power in the house was one of the victims of these high winds. But the glow

of love from Waldo's darts of love illuminated the house until morning.

Bye.

Oh

You look like a true music fan. I'm here to give you the opportunity to be a true patron

of the arts. For just one dollar you can buy these chocolate bars and help the Southridge

Band take a much needed trip to... No thank you. It makes me break out.

No. Good salesperson never gives up. I'm good.

Ginger. I'm with the Southridge Band. I'm here to sell this wonderful chocolate candy. Chocolate's

give me cavities.

I'm in this door in my face I just want you to know that the Southridge band helps a lot

of women like myself stay off the streets at night and if it weren't for this program I

want you to know it could be left on your head and it's gonna be left on your head if I'm

found dead in the street with my throat cut because some weirdo picked me up and tried

to rape me and if this program is canceled because I didn't have a breath and who you got well

I'll take them come on in

I'm find my wallet.

Here's where all the problem is. Yeah, well, I don't really quite know what it could be.

I'm sure we may have to pull this master switching area out here and find out. Well, the lights

are flickering off and on time to time, and then they go off. So I don't know. You think

that that might be it? Well, we could go into the master box and find out what the problem

could be. I'm sure. I'm sure you'll be able to find that. Hello. Looks like you're

pretty good with your hands. Oh, not too bad. I've fixed a few things in my time, I guess.

I bet you have. You don't have anything you want fixing, do you?

You mind if I check your name switch while you're checking the app? I don't think not at all,

actually. I think it'd be a little different.

I you do. was gonna need some of these tools now. Oh, I don't think you'll need them for

a while. that's up to you. It's your house, Get ready or he's just gone. I think you've

already started those. have a few volts, I'm sure.

Sure, pretty lady. Didn't your husband give you enough? Now Ginger, the band girl, was

very hungry after having spent most of the morning selling her band candy. So, after Jack paid

her for the box of chocolate bars, Ginger found the bowl of fruit and had a nice banana.

And searching for someone with whom she could share the incredible feelings that suddenly

overcame her, she found Stephen taking his usual Saturday morning bath. And while Lucinda

took care of the electrician, Ginger took care of Stephen.

If I had a lady like you, I'd give it to you all the time,

So down dude. Thank you.

your old man lady. You won't do that though. He probably gives you pretty pennies to spend

every day. Nothing like a rich lady.

Worried about your husband coming in here? No, he's probably gone to the office already.

you

self-performance out there. That means I'm a church.

I think it might need a few tools.

What say to that? It's a great idea.

I know.

You that?

you

you

Mm.

Sit on a few.

Oh, man.

Mmm.

Stay right there, cupcake. I'm not going anywhere. Oh You're gonna flip your switch with your

finger? Yes. That's right, Flip that switch.

I'll slap in your clip.

Is that what you want?

You

Sucked off already.

You

I don't know.

Oh, you got your fuse going all the way.

Now Jack was still feeling quite amorous, which he discovered soon after he brought his

band candy home. And he remembered the little girl that sold it to him. And he wanted the

little girl that sold it to him. So he went back and found her in the bathroom. And the

two of them let nature take its course.

I'm go to sleep.

I'm

wish we could play with the voice cats more often.

Did he fix the electricity? I guess so. I mean, yes he did. Good. There was a storm

last night. So he said. At least... That's what he told me. I must have slept through

it. Me too.

Steven? Yeah? There's something I have to tell you. There's something I have to tell you also,

but... You go ahead first. Thanks a lot. I beg your pardon? Oh, nothing. No. You better

sit down.

have to tell you, isn't very pleasant. It's rather awful. You might hate me after you hear

it. I could never hate you, Lucinda. It's about why I didn't know about the storm last night.

See, I wanted to ask you, and you didn't, and well, Jack did, and I... Oh my god. You

slept with Jack? You hate me, don't you? No, I don't. Yes, I do! How could you sleep with

Jack? I couldn't help it. I needed to be fucked last night and you weren't capable of it. Oh,

yeah? Ask Marge how capable I was last night. How can you fuck that ex-wife of yours, that

dreaded old cow? Well, at least it's somebody I used to be married to. You're disgusting!

I'm so glad I fucked that electric repairman! What?! Yes! I fucked him, and I enjoyed

it too! You don't understand how you could fuck that dried old hippo of an electrician.

You wanna know something? I fucked that little band girl. Yeah, that's right, babe. I fucked

jail babe, and I loved it too! Lucinda, cut it! Stop it! Stop it!

Anger can be a very powerful emotion, but Waldo's darts of love were more powerful. Now you

may say that it's crazy that a little man named Waldo can decide that he's Cupid and has such

abilities as this. You may ask how anyone can shoot a bowl of fruit with a child's dart gun

and have it affect people in this manner. But why can't it? If you want something badly

enough, Like Waldo wanted to bring love to the world, why can't it happen? Just look

at Steven and Lucinda.

Ah.

That was wonderful. I eat too much.

Okay.

Oh