Original subtitles

And now, Rob McElhenney!

Hello!

Please welcome my wife, the incomparable Kaitlin Olson.

Remember that clip that you showed earlier

before the commercial, where we were all in England,

celebrating what we thought was--

- Yeah, a goal. - You know, a goal.

Um, can we play that, just the last part again?

Somebody needs to explain the offside rule...

Yeah. To the A-listers.

Oh. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow. The--

There I am.

I turn around to, you know,

congratulate my husband,

and you just go ahead and jump right into the arms

of Ryan Reynolds, just aggressively.

- Okay. - You made a dec--

you saw me, and you turned,

and you jumped right into his arms.

In fairness... Yeah?

Who wouldn't want to jump into the arms of Ryan Reynolds?

BUDDY HOLLY [singing]: Every day

It's a-getting closer

Going faster than a roller coaster

Love like yours will surely come my way

A-hey, a-hey-hey

Every day, it's a-getting faster

Everyone said, "Go ahead and ask her"

Love like yours will surely come my way

A-hey, a-hey-hey

Love like yours will surely come my way

No.

I did hear.

Kind of don't even know who he is.

I'm supposed to know who he is, but apparently,

he's someone in a movie.

I don't know if you should say that in the mic.

It's true.

I don't know who he is, either.

- Who is he? - But I'm sure he'll do well.

- Do you know who he is? - We wish him well,

whoever he is.

So when this whole thing started, I said to Kaitlin,

what do you think about me seeing if Ryan

would want to do this with me, like, 50-50?

And she said, "Do you think your ego could handle

sharing a screen with Ryan Reynolds?"

That-- that doesn't surprise me.

He's not that well-known.

Well, he's got Rob backing him now, and Humphrey.

So the guy'll go somewhere.

You set up-- I gotta get in here.

Haha. All right.

All right, see you soon.

I will, uh-- I will see you soon. Bye.

So let's start from the very beginning.

Um, Ryan, I hear your friendship actually started

when Rob slid into your DMs.

Do you want to spill the tea on that one a little bit?

No! No, I slid into his DMs.

Oh, you slid into his DMs?

Oh, my God, yeah. I mean--

How quickly-- - Are you kidding me?

How quickly the story changes. I know.

Okay, so Ryan, this is what's called a soundstage.

Really? Yeah.

And they don't use ceilings?

They make movies, they make TV.

Well, there is a ceiling.

I'd seen an episode of his show

that I found to be particularly inspiring and beautiful.

I slid into his DMs, and I wrote,

"Powder my bottom and put me to bed."

This is not actually a bar.

Look at this.

Yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah.

He DM'd me back, and then we kind of became,

you know, digital friends-- Yeah.

Which later turned into real-life human friends.

Platonic relationships between men

is a complicated subject.

And Ryan and I had questions.

So we went to the only logical place for answers--

a woman.

Hi, my name is Liz Plank.

And I am the author of For the Love of Men:

A Vision for Mindful Masculinity.

I'm a journalist.

I'm a filmmaker, a columnist, podcast.

I noticed, in the first episode of the show,

Rob said that he went to Ryan for "movie money."

Also felt like an excuse to actually

probably be friends with Ryan and spend time with Ryan.

- You're, like, dating? - I don't know.

I'm definitely gonna swoon.

So you gotta--you gotta stay wide for that shot.

'Cause if you see my eyes, I'm gonna be, like, floating.

He's probably gonna pick me up like a child.

And cradle me.

There's also the weird phenomenon, that is true,

that if you see--if you watch somebody long enough

over an extended period of time,

you start to feel like you know them anyway.

So even before we connected, you know,

you get a sense that you kind of know that person,

even though you don't.

We became pretty close, pretty fast.

- The Rookie. - Okay.

- Dennis Quaid. - Whoa, look--

Like, a 40-year-old pitcher in the major--

Can we just address the--

can we address the mustache in the room?

I've heard a lot of people refer to our relationship

as a bromance.

I find that fascinating.

The definition of the word bromance is just--

it's a platonic relationship between two men.

There's no female equivalent to the term bromance.

The female equivalent is friends.

And so the fact that we need a term to describe two men

going out to dinner, I think, is very revealing

about what men are allowed or are not allowed to do,

and how much self-policing there is

when it comes to their relationships with other men.

It's so funny, and so indicative

of where we are as a culture now,

that we have to use cute terms to define

an intimate relationship between two men.

I don't know why.

I think maybe it's because it's easier for us

to talk about it by making it sound

a little bit more juvenile,

or just cute and funny.

So bromance is almost this permission

for men to connect,

and to show love to each other.

Because it's like-- it's like a joke.

I've been waiting for the right, peaceful moment

to ask you,

do you harbor any anger

and/or resentment towards me

for asking you to do this?

My wife wants to kill you, Rob.

Yeah.

Men prove their manhood

by ascribing to the definition of masculinity

that they've been told they need to aspire to,

which is, you know, domination, aggression,

winning at all costs.

- This is what men do! - Yeah!

- This is men stuff! - Yeah!

Traditionally, men have liked to get together

with groups of other men and do stuff,

whether that be go to football matches,

play football, play golf,

drink, uh,

hang out, talk, shoot the shit,

rove in gangs,

beat the living shit out of each other,

compete with one another.

Look at my heel. - Right?

- You have a heel, too! - Yeah, I--I wear--

And I wore... - This is great.

Three-inch lifts just to really hammer home--

George said to establish dominance right away.

I know, but it's not happening.

- No, I know, not at all. - Yes!

And I'm very thin compared to these guns.

- Yeah, look at this. Yeah. - Good Lord.

I read somewhere that lifting weights

increases height. - True.

Give me some more gum for Dennis.

- No, I don't trust you. - Why not?

'Cause you're just gonna put it in your mouth

and eat it again. - I won't. I promise.

Hmm, his neck is high. It makes me trust him.

Good posture, bro. Okay.

- Come on. - All right, I trust you.

- How are you? - What's your name?

- Good, how are you? - James.

I just find it really funny

just watching men, like, greet each other.

I feel like I have secondhand stress

about seeing two men sometimes greet each other.

Because sometimes it's like a straight-up handshake.

Sometimes, it's the handshake, but like,

kind of the clap, and then they, like,

still kind of touch.

Sometimes, it's the handshake

followed by the hug, tap, tap.

And then it keeps going while they're talking,

but sometimes they pull out.

There's-- there's the fist bump,

obviously, as well.

I feel confused, and I feel stressed

seeing men trying to greet each other.

It's very weird. Like, I'm a hugger.

But like, some guys will throw in the--

they need the hand--

Oh, with the hug?

The hand with the hug because you can't just--

You can't touch hearts. For the hug.

Okay, yes. Okay.

That's too intimate.

Too intimate.

You gotta keep something in between the bodies.

And then one day, you'll graduate

to just your hearts touching.

Sports becomes this safe space

for men to love each other,

and to relate to each other,

not just, you know, emotionally, but also physically.

Like, I just find it fascinating

watching, you know, men on a football field

touching each other, and being very affectionate,

being very physically close with each other--

even, like, slapping each other's butts.

When can men slap each other's butts

except when they're on a football field?

Do men get close with each other

because they love sports?

Or do men do sports because

they want to be close to each other?

I've watched you become a massive sports fan,

which I don't think you were before.

I wasn't. I mean, I've always--

I always played sports.

I loved playing sports.

But the idea or the thought of this

never, never was on my vision board.

Part of the fun isn't just getting

to hang out with each other,

or having a football team together.

It's also talking about things

that can be, uh, uncomfortable.

We filmed our colonoscopies together, for God's sake.

It's the first time you've had a colonoscopy.

- Yeah. - And--

We're fucking filming it.

You're filming it--

Which is, like, also just awful.

Can't believe you pumped all that Aviation Gin into my IV.

I was out like a light.

They didn't find Rosebud up there?

I figure I can't go wrong in terms of

comparing myself to Ryan.

They either find nothing,

and that means my colon was cleaner than his.

Or they find a polyp.

All set.

And it's either bigger than his,

which is awesome,

or it's smaller than his,

which means I had less of an opportunity to have cancer.

Either way, I win.

You can just relax.

How was it before?

It was good.

The last one was 113 over 48.

Is it better than Ryan's?

Yeah.

We're back here with Ryan Reynolds and the other guy.

I think we both have enormous respect for each other,

which is what I think is the backbone

to any healthy relationship.

Any endeavor at this point in my life

is an opportunity to continue to forge new relationships.

So it was really special,

and has been really special to me,

my relationship with him.

In many ways, sports becomes this performance for men

to really be that ideal of masculinity

that they're told to aspire to.

And, you know, maybe Rob and Ryan--

I mean, they're performers.

And so, they're still out there, maybe some way,

performing maybe not for their dads,

but for each other.

That's why Rob is a fuck-face clown.

He's just-- Aw, man.

Oh, Jesus. Rob--

oh, hi, Mr. Chairman.

How are you?

How are you? You look nice.

I'm sorry about interrupting you.

I'm covered in microphones--

- It's good to see--hi. - So I can't stand up.

- Well, hello. - Hi.

You guys are in the middle of your thing?

God, you're handsome. Um...

All right. - Yeah, did you get that?

Last question. - Come here.

Are we concerned about Ryan being overexposed?

I think that's a fair-- - I'm plenty overexposed.

- I think that's fair. - Come on.

Where? You want to go in here?

There you go. Yeah, that's good.

Now, I feel like we're really close.

I can make a cup of tea.

I make the best cup of tea here.

Why do you think they got me on here?

Chal doesn't have sugar.

You got to have sugar, though.

Tea's not the same without sugar.

Hey, you deserve a cuppa, Chal.

See?

There is something that--

I see you've got some Yorkshire bags in.

Where's the milk?

What? - Where's the milk?

It's in there.

You said you don't like too much milk.

Eh?

Oh, no, you like a little more milk, don't you?

Yeah.

Well, go and have more then, Chal.

if you're gonna be ungrateful. I'll put these away.

This is the life skills you need to learn, innit, Harry?

A cup of tea's one of the most important things.

It is, Chal.

More milky next time.

I got you.

It's the worst cup of tea I've had all day, Harry.

Don't put me down like that, Chal...

Well, my earliest memory of being a fan is

since I could talk, since I could kick a ball,

since I've come out the womb, I just love Wrexham.

My room is full of Wrexham stuff, to be honest.

Being a football fan or Wrexham fan, it's just--

it's just run through your family,

and my dad, obviously, and my granddad on my side.

And they've just always been a Wrexham fan,

and it's just run to me, now.

So hopefully, when I have kids, they'll be Wrexham fans.

'Cause I don't think it'll ever,

ever stop, my racecourse.

I think that boys grow up thinking,

"This is how I need to,

you know, get my dad's approval."

Because their dads, that's how they got their dad's approval.

And it's kind of just passed down.

Not necessarily questioned.

I played football for nine years.

I played rugby, I played baseball,

and I played soccer, as we call it.

And that was my kind of version of validation at that age,

and--you know?

Yeah, he really, like, valued that, you know?

One of the really interesting things that happened

in the pandemic is that there was

this incredible social experiment

where sports basically, like, went away.

So one of the things I just started asking men around me--

you know, I would say, what do you miss the most about sports?

And the first guy I asked had a tear go down--

like, just literally go down his face.

And he said, "Talking about it with my dad."

And I used to go with my dad and my brother to games.

And in general, it was a family thing.

Growing up with-- me and my dad,

he took me from an early age.

And it's something that's in the blood.

So what they miss the most about sports wasn't--

didn't actually have anything to do with sports.

It was about the relationships that they were able to have

when they were watching sports together.

I was a real youngster.

Me dad used to take me over to Liverpool years ago

to watch the games.

And actually, once I moved to Wrexham,

I just started attending Wrexham games straight away.

Yeah, I just started watching Wrexham and loved it.

Just fell in love with it.

From when I could first kick a ball,

my dad always had the belief that I was good.

He could see that I was good.

And I can only appreciate that because

what I used to get from him watching

and his feedback would drive me on even more.

For a lot of boys who grew up being told that sports was

where they could really prove themselves

and have a relationship with their father,

or have a relationship with other boys,

they can grow up into adulthood repeating that,

where sports becomes the way to earn that connection

with other men.

And maybe with our culture, or with society at large, too.

Time to see if I still got it.

Aye.

It's so nice that he still wants to take his dad

out for a pint, you know, and take him to the match,

and look after me, and--

you know, with his mates.

I'm part of a-- the crowd, if you want.

And that's what makes me so happy, you know?

I can't ask for anything more than that.

Boys day out. Three generations here.

Same as when we go to the match,

and we've got three generations here.

You just pass it down, don't you?

Like, you got it from Granddad.

I got it from you.

It's just-- and I give it to these boys.

It's in our DNA now innit, eh?

In our Winter DNA, lad? Muah.

It certainly is.

- That's right, it bloody is. - Yeah?

I'm not ready for it though, Chal.

I told you, bit immature inside.

I can't even cook an egg.

So this is when you're on a date,

when you have the first sleepover, can make--

you can make her an egg in the morning.

Yeah, why don't you chuck that one in?

You fucking idiot.

Let's--we have a really star candidate.

What, so don't do it too hard this time, yeah?

Take your time cracking the egg.

- Man City. - Yeah.

When I was in grade school,

my dad and I would just come home

and we'd play basketball.

And I would try to win.

And I wouldn't let him

let me win.

In some ways, what is the point

if there's no competition?

Because that's what's sort of driving us

all forward instinctually.

Goal!

And then it's only in reflection

where you realize, like, oh, right,

I--who the fuck cares?

I do not understand offsides.

Like, offsides is, like, here.

But then it's also there.

But when you get a penalty--

It's come down to the final 20 minutes here.

- Yes? - It's not a goal?

Yes, it doesn't make any sense.

I don't remember any specific game.

I just remember--

I just remember playing with my dad,

you know?

CAT STEVENS [singing: It's not time to make a change

Just relax, take it easy

You're still young

That's your fault

There's so much you have to know

Find a girl, settle down

If you want, you can marry

Look at me

I am old, but I'm happy

I was once like you are now

And I know that it's not easy

To be calm

When you've found something going on

But take your time, think a lot

Why, think of everything you've got

For you will still be here tomorrow

But your dreams may not

If he's calling me his son and, you know,

taking me by his wing like he is,

and showing me like he is, yeah,

I'd say he does feel like--

he does feel like a father figure, in a way.

Genius. - You're a master?

Mm.

You've got to have plenty of role models

in your life to become who you are, haven't you?

And...

Yeah.

CAT STEVENS [singing]: I know I have to go