Original subtitles

Well, the most important thing in a relationship

is honest communication.

What? Honest communication. Why can't-

why- What? No, I can't hear you. Your mic is off.

Here, use this one. What?

Oh. Okay. We'll do a duet,

like Ashford & Simpson.

Peaches & Herb.

Snoop and weed.

(both laugh)

Or, or my favorite duet of all time,

Rick James and Teena Marie singing "Fire and Desire."

"I think of how you changed me

with your love and sensitivity." (laughs)

"Remember when I used to..."

? Love... ?

? Them and leave them ?

? That's what I used to do ?

BOTH: ? Use and abuse them ?

? Then I ?

BOTH: ? Kissed your lips and you ?

? Turned on my ?

? Fire... ?

? Baby ?

? And you burned me up ?

? Within your flame. ?

Well, that's our episode!

Uh, tune in next time,

when the topic will be

"The Rhythm Method:

Does It Work with White People?"

The answer won't surprise you. (chuckles)

(sighs) Wow.

Hey, wh-why- what's the rush?

Why don't you hang out? Have some coffee.

Oh, uh, I'd love to,

but I'm supporting a friend who's sharing at AA today.

Oh, cool, cool.

Uh, see you tomorrow, then, right?

Yeah.

Okay, what are you doing?

I'm walking you to the door.

That's what I always do.

No, you don't!

Okay,

can you stop being weird?

Just... shoo me out and slam it in my face.

When have I ever done that? Fine,

fine, I'll do it myself.

"Mm. Bye."

? Poppa's ?

? House ?

? Yeah. ?

(grunts)

Hey, Dad.

(dreamily): Hey, son.

Why are you talking like you just got a massage?

'Cause I'm happy. Oh.

Happy ones cost extra.

(laughs) That's funny.

(chuckles)

Hey, man, you know how I've been, uh,

resisting Ivy's charm since day one?

Yeah. Well,

them damn googly eyes of hers

done started to wear me down.

I have feelings for her.

Wow. Really?

(laughs): Yeah. What's different?

I don't know!

It's like the thunderbolt hit me.

Mm. And, you know,

she's been coming here, smelling good and dressing sexy,

showing off the gams. (laughs)

"Gams"? Dad, you need to stop watching

old Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Speaking of which,

what happened with Lola? You said she's been calling you.

Lola, she left me hanging.

I think Ivy's a better fit. Okay.

Well, then, shoot her a text and ask her on a date.

Shoot her a text?

That is so impersonal.

Oh. See, my generation, mm-mm,

we don't roll like that.

All right. Well, then send it Western Union.

(old-timey voice): "Telegram for Ivy Reed! Telegram!"

(chuckles)

"'Would you like to...' Stop.

"'...go on a date?' Stop.

'Meet you at Grand Central Station.'"

Stop.

So this is what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna write her a card,

and I'm gonna invite her to a candlelit dinner

at her favorite restaurant. Ooh.

Then I'm-a have a limo

pick us up.

We'll sit in the back seat,

pop some champagne

while we look up at the stars. Aw.

And you'll make her see stars,

if you know what I mean. (chuckles)

Wink, wink.

(clicks tongue) Man.

You kids today, that's all you think about- sex, sex, sex.

It's all about the humpty and then the dumpty with you guys.

True romance, son,

is in the wait.

You sound like an insane person, Dad. Yeah,

well, you look like a zombie.

What's wrong with you? Why you look so tired?

I've been up for days working on a pitch for my anime project.

And, um,

if the production company buys it,

it'll be my first studio project.

Ooh!

Congratulations. (laughs)

Thank you. How's it going?

Um, you know,

I've been struggling a little with the, uh... with the pitch.

Mm. But I want it to be

about something from my personal life,

so Nina's been helping me with it. Ah.

Oh, boy.

"Oh, boy"? What are you talking about, man?

She's been really helpful.

Son, you can't mix work and marriage.

I'm sure Van Gogh cut his ear off

'cause he got tired of hearing

his wife's bad ideas about his paintings.

Well, Nina has really great ideas.

Okay. Well, you know what,

you're doing the same thing you always do.

Whenever your back is against the wall, you panic

and then you start not believing in your own ideas.

(phone rings)

That's Nina right now.

Don't answer it. I'm gonna.

Hello, my brilliant, beautiful muse.

NINA: Mmm. Last night was crazy-

Oh, you're-you're on speakerphone!

You're on speakerphone! My dad's here!

Um, anyway, so I-I've been thinking-

this short of yours,

it should be a feature film.

(mouths) Oh, a feature?

I mean, that's a great idea, babe,

but I think they just want a short.

That's because they haven't heard my pitch yet.

You mean "our pitch yet"?

Don't be petty. Okay.

And I have some big thoughts about it.

I'll-I'll tell you all about it when you get here.

Okay. Which means come right now.

Oh, right now? O-kay. Yes.

I'll come when I want!

Excuse you?

Oh. (stammering) I'm coming, honey.

? ?

Are you ready? Yes.

Here it is.

It'll be in 3D. Oh.

Formatted...

for IMAX. Oh, my goodness.

This is weird, to see you up close like this.

It's like you're living

in the screen.

Oh!

I like- I think the screen needs some deodorant.

(chuckles)

But I really like the idea.

Maybe, maybe we can have, um,

surround sound, right? Yes.

Just like, surround... sound... surround...

sound... surround... sound... surround.

Just, like, all over you. Just, like, all over. Yes. Yes.

Just, uh... Mm-hmm. Okay, 'kay.

Okay. And here's the best part.

You ready? Tell me. Tell me, tell me.

The seats are gonna move. Oh!

Whoa! Daddy's bouncin'!

(laughing)

Okay, come on. Get up.

(laughing): Okay.

So? (chuckles)

What do you think?

I think it's great. (chuckles)

But what's our story?

Who's our movie for?

Children. Yes.

And that's why we're gonna ask ours

what they want to see.

Kids!

Um...

Yes, and aren't they supposed to be in school?

Yes, and Mommy stretched the truth and said they were sick.

Yes, and...

she said we can stay home and eat ice cream

and fix your bad movie.

BOTH: We have...

"bamonia."

(coughing)

Anyways, Trey,

you have the floor.

What do you think our movie should be about?

Blood, ninjas,

and dragons who fart fire.

(mimics flatulence) JUNIOR: Oh.

Um...

Here's what it's gonna be-

princesses, fairies,

and unicorns!

A billion dollars at the box office,

just like the Barbie movie.

Mic drop.

I can't believe I said I had bamonia

to stay home and do this.

JUNIOR and NINA: Oh.

(Junior chuckles) Okay.

Well, you heard your audience.

That's what they want to see.

I think we have a lot to work with.

What do you think?

I think I wish I had p-neumonia.

("My Cherie Amour" by Stevie Wonder playing)

(hums)

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Look who's here.

(chuckles)

Mmm. Mmm, mmm.

Right?

Mmm.

(whoops) This was my song back in the day.

Yeah. Mine, too.

Poppa,

you look so handsome.

(laughs goofily)

Why are you all dressed up?

Mm, mm. And why'd you

call me over here? Isn't it past your bedtime?

(chuckles) Wow.

You know me so well.

I know, right? It's like we finish each other's...

Sardines.

You weren't gonna say "sardines"? Okay. No.

"Sentences." (laughs) Okay.

But, um...

Okay, so...

Mm.

What did you, uh...

What'd you want to talk to me about?

Because there's something I want to talk to you about, too.

Oh. Okay, well, you go first,

because, um, mine's pretty serious.

So is mine.

Okay, so, fine,

for the past few weeks,

you probably noticed

that...

I've been acting a little different.

Mm-hmm. (laughs)

Well, the reason is, is...

...I may have feelings for someone, but...

...I'm scared to talk about it.

It's hard to be vulnerable.

Exactly.

See?

You get me.

I feel the same way about you, I.

So...

for the first time

in a very long time...

...my heart is opening up again.

Uh... (groans)

I'm just...

I'm afraid to cross that line.

Hey.

Don't be afraid.

You cross that line, girl.

My ex-husband David is back in my life.

(record scratches)

(chuckles softly)

I'm so happy for... you. Girl! (laughs)

So what you're telling me is that you and your ex,

Mr. Magic Shine,

are getting back together again?

No. Um...

David's in AA,

and he started therapy,

so he just needs a friend.

Yeah, but it sounds like you got feelings for this guy.

Of course I have feelings for him.

He was my husband.

Mm.

And that's why I want to be there for him

as he goes through this difficult time.

Yeah, but what happens after that?

Well,

for now, I feel like he needs me close.

And after that,

who knows what the future holds?

(inhales deeply) Oh.

Poppa, be honest.

I mean, not that this is gonna happen, but...

...what would you think

about me getting back together with David?

Hey, if you're happy...

...I'll be happy.

Thank you.

I'm really lucky to have you for a friend.

(doorbell rings)

Oh, um...

when you invited me over,

I was on my way to David's,

so I told him to meet me here.

I hope that's okay.

I guess it has to be because he's at the door.

? Magic Shine For Men. ?

Boop.

Calla lilies? My favorite.

I know. I know.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

He didn't. They're freshly picked.

Off the ground.

Ah. There's a note.

"Dear Ivy,

"You know the feeling when the perfect song comes on?

"The song that slows

"the world down and makes

"everything else fade away?

That's what happens to me when you walk into a room."

Aw, David,

when did you become such a romantic?

(chuckles)

I can't believe you wrote this.

Neither can I. Neither can I.

You know, it's all just... it's part of the new David.

I'm like a whole different guy.

Well, I am gonna frame this note

because it is perfect. DAVID: No.

You're perfect, mushroom.

Hey. There's a limo outside.

A limo?

Where are we going?

Yeah. Where are you going, David?

The driver knows.

And he will take us

to the place that we are going.

It's a surprise.

(both laugh)

Oh, I love surprises.

Okay, I'll wait outside. Good night, Poppa.

I'll be there in a second.

Okay. (laughs softly)

(chuckles)

You listen to me.

I know you think I'm bad for her,

but she's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I love her, and I am not gonna let Morgan Freeman...

...steal her away from me.

Well, you know what?

You're gonna drop the ball again.

Just like you did at the one-yard line

in the championship game.

Remember that?

Boop.

Sorry it didn't work out with you and Ivy.

Hard to compete with a Hall of Famer.

This is why we text, Pop.

A taco, heart and eggplant emoji,

that would've done the trick.

You know? But instead, you went and humiliated yourself

by being Mr. Mm, Old-School.

Are you, mm, finished rubbing it in?

I'm not trying to rub it in, Dad.

I feel for you, man.

Look, there's plenty of fish in the sea, okay?

(sighs): Yeah.

I dipped my toe back in the water

and a shark named David bit it off.

I mean, there's always Lola.

No, Lola left me hanging like Caitlyn Jenner.

Oh.

Besides,

I don't want to talk about that.

Let's talk about something happier.

Like your pitch. How's that going?

Oh. Not good.

(chuckles)

It's tomorrow, and, uh,

between Nina and the kids,

I don't even know what my story is anymore.

You see, this is what I warned you about.

You have to follow your heart, not your muse.

Yeah, you try telling Nina that.

She's becoming a-muse-ive.

Look, Junior, you are the artist.

Art by committee,

it never works.

So when someone tries to change your vision,

you give 'em an emphatic "No."

Okay. Want to hear my pitch?

No.

Everything is gonna be in 3D.

3D. Remember that?

And, like, the-the chairs are gonna be shaking the whole time.

It's a crazy experience.

And while the chairs are shaking,

it's gonna be surround sound.

Surround. Sound.

Surround. Surround. Sound. Sound.

Okay, I'm- I-I... Okay. Surround. Surround...

I'm going to stop you...

(clears throat) ...right there.

These are all just gimmicks.

I-I don't see a story here, so I...

Thank you for coming in.

Sit your five-dollar ass down

before I make some change!

Not you. Get up.

Um...

(exhales sharply)

That was just the opening sequence.

At its heart,

it's a simple story.

It's Homer's Odyssey.

Oh. I-I love The Simpsons.

Uh, no, that's the-the other Homer, the...

(low): Can't believe you don't know that.

Anyway, it's about a ninja

on an odyssey, right?

He's on a quest to return to his kingdom.

But he has to battle the bamonia-stricken children

and the five-foot witch...

Witch? Uh, troll?

The troll? Princess?

Princess. Mm-hmm.

The five-foot witch-troll-princess...

...who drives him to madness

with her endless ideas,

just "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

But just when all hope is lost,

he defeats the cyclops- hyah, hyah,

hyah, hyah- and the wise,

bald, old diabetic wizard says,

(high-pitched): "Mm. Trust your gut.

Follow your dreams. Mm."

Well, I-I love it.

I- but I do think it needs just a little...

(regular pitch): No!

That was emphatic.

Thank you. But this is a collaboration,

so I think...

No!

No, this is not a collaboration.

This is an odyssey,

and it's my odyssey.

(soft music playing)

Daddy!

They bought my pitch.

They loved all my ideas

they loved my passion, and it's all because of you.

Hey. Wonderful advice, man.

I'm proud of you, son.

Oh. Mwah.

Proud's a kissing word.

You should've seen me, Dad.

It was great- I was in rare form.

They tried to give me a note, and I was all like, "No!"

Emphatically.

I like that.

Yeah. Hi.

Welp,

I'm off to write my script.

I'll give you two some awkward time alone.

Hey.

Hey.

How was the date?

We had fondue. It was cheesy.

(laughs, snorts)

Well,

the restaurant was amazing,

and the flowers and the limo were very romantic.

It was almost perfect.

Almost?

I know David didn't write that note.

Well, maybe he had some help.

Maybe.

Or maybe somebody else wrote it.

Well, the important thing is that

David wants to be his best for you, that's all.

Yeah.

But I really want to talk to the person

who wrote that note.

Because it touched me and it came

straight from the heart.

Well, I think he'd be happy to know that.

Poppa, can I tell you something?

(doorbell rings)

I hope that's not Magic Shine again.

Lola? Hi, Damey.

What are you doing here?

Well, you weren't returning

my phone calls, so...

Okay, look.

I was in my feelings, and...

...I realized how happy I was when we were together.

And I was just

hoping...

that maybe you could give me another chance.

You really hurt me.

No, I know, I know, baby, and I'm so sorry.

I was just scared.

But...

I will promise

to make it up to you.

(record scratches)

Wow. I'm so happy for you.

Um, uh, Lola, this is Ivy.

Ivy, this is Lola.

IVY: Yeah, I remember.

The one who ran out on you.

Charmed. Charmed, charmed.

(laughs)

Yeah, well, I, uh,

should probably get going.

Hey, wait, wait.

You said you wanted to tell me something.

Yeah.

But it'll have to wait.

(sighs)

So,

can I, uh...

make us a drink?

Sure.

Okay.

Damey.

Come on.

(footsteps receding)

(sighs)

Marker. I know you think I'm bad for her,

but she's the best thing that ever happened to me. I love her,

and I am not gonna let Morgan Freeman...

...steal her away from me.

(a la Morgan Freeman): Well...

(both laugh)

Here's hoping that we can spend eternity together.

(laughs)

(glass shatters)

DIRECTOR: Cut! (laughs)

Captioning sponsored by CBS

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0