All language subtitles for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 1966

KISH, KISH - BANG, BANG

Amateur subtitles :oberOn

The execution
is a strange way to die.

See what happened when a Judge went to lie down,
found his wife murdered.

Make sure it has a front seat
to watch the execution of the perpetrator...

since they were fulfilling his last wish.

when executions take place,
it all stops.

It's time for the perpetrator,
expressed his desire...

before they tied him to the chair,
holding a nice dark egg

addressed the Judge: Sorry, you're holding it for me,
I haven't had breakfast yet.

Very funny, Jamaica!

I'll die if I eat all this.

- Cigarette.
- No, thank you.

I prefer cigars.
Cigarettes cause cancer.

Give me one of yours, Jamaica.

Is Romeo and Juliet in fashion?

- I prefer Shakespeare in the theatre.
- Don't despise our fathers.

I always want the best,

in whatever.

As long as you pay them legally,
why should I object.

Never give up
what belongs to you, Jamaica.

Have you thought about what you can do with
$1 million?

No, I know how to count, only to the count of 10.

You weren't asking for money in the hijacking, were you?

That I could not understand!

What I can say about Joanna,
is that she was beautiful.

She was beautiful
with the emblem of the Salvation Army.

For me nothing is so beautiful...

as much as a million dollars.

I hope you know what I mean.

- After you.
- No, after you, please.

- You are very kind. After you.
- Please, I insist.

Son, can I help you?

It is material assistance that I need, Father.

I'll be thinking of you, Jamaica.

Would you like to make a statement about the press, sir?

Yes.
I am in favour of abolishing the death penalty.

No need for the collar
to tighten the knot well?

Could you bend down a little, please?

Thank you.

This is the first time I've ever been hung.
I'm curious!

- If you have courage?
- If I stop swinging too fast.

Ten ... nine ... eight.

Seven... six... five... four.

I'm sorry, for interfering in this way...

I'd like a word with you, Kirk.

I have four seconds left, Colonel.

You have as much as I want.

They will last.

My office,
is certainly at your disposal, Colonel.

I appreciate your help.

Sir Sebastian Wilcox,
from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

As you know, Warren, Sir Sebastian is
in charge of...

on matters concerning
the munitions industry.

You know Scott.
You were partners before.

Of course...
We know each other.

- A cigar, Mr. Warren.
- Thank you. I've smoked too many in a month.

Unless you're exempt from the death penalty.

Should I opt out?
Are you serious, Colonel?

Absolutely, Lieutenant.

Deduction, and quick retirement,
greater than the others.

... If you come out of this alive.

And I'm talking about a million lump sums.

- A million dollars?
- A million dollars, one time,

if you don't break your neck in the end.

"I've been shopping, from the neck up."
If you know what I mean.

- You want to go back to the gallows?
- I'd rather have a million dollars.

This is the perfect opportunity.
And you get to erase your sentence.

- You obliged me.
- Come on, boy, it doesn't mean anything to you.

Not if I'm dead.

If you get injured, you still get the pension.
If you get killed, we lose ours.

- So what do you say, Warren?
-Why did you choose me to do the job?

Because if you die,
no one loses anything.

... And I will live.
- Oh, I see!

- When do I start?
- You start when we have all the necessary ...

information, to prepare you
perfectly.

- Destination?
- Suisse in French ... Switzerland.

- The opponent?
- Some call him "Mr. X."

He leads a large industrial organization
of espionage, which has the police puzzled.

And in particular
our own people, everywhere.

He learned that our air force has acquired
a formula for a new ingredient...

Of great military value
for space capsules and...

supersonic engines!

And one of our agents in Zurich,
informed us...

that Mr. X is planning to steal
the secret formula.

- How do you know that?
- It's the same old story every time.

If Mr. X acquires the formula, he'll sell it
to whichever country gives him the most money.

However the formula will give the advantage
to His Majesty's government.

And we have no intention of losing it,
I assure you!

And what am I supposed to do.

It's elementary.

You have to get there before he does.

I see, and if I steal
the formula for Great Britain!

You finally figured it out.
Don't forget, something that belongs to us is at stake!

BALLA!

I'm of the opinion that this is the opportunity
to get rid of our friend X once and for all!

When he has it in his possession,
he will not resist the temptation,

to keep it to himself

Unless I'm the one who gets it!
100
00:9:58,860 --> 00:9:59,871
Exactly!

And you want to say you don't have the slightest idea,
who Mr. X is?

No, not the slightest idea.

For now. Hahaha!

- Are you smiling?
- I have a very good reason.

Our agent came back from
Germany today.

It seems he has
very interesting information,

... concerning identity
of our mystery man.

- Any chance he could have seen it himself?
- It's not easy at all...

He reached the fourth hole.

Our agent
he's a smart lad, isn't he?

Yeah, he's a smart guy!

Clever, indeed,
but a former agent, it seems.

- At least his watch works?
- Yes.

Yes, it works.

I'm sorry, Warren, but they were necessary
this information above,

for Mr. X.
Now we are in a fog.

This is very disheartening.

Indeed, it is not good at all.

Do I have freedom of movement?

Yeah, you're taking it upon yourself, you.

How to find out,
about the details of the shipment?

In this briefcase, you will find
all the necessary evidence, Warren.

Are you married or single, Smithson?
If you don't mind me asking.

Married ....

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hillary, Hillary!

Kirk, darling, you're alive.
I thought they hung you!

- Honey, what happened?
- I've been locked up for four months, Hillary.

We need to compensate
the lost time.

This is not the time to talk.
Locked up for four months, do you understand?

It's okay.

Four months, Kirk!

Four months is 120 days!

122, August and October, have 31!

Don't be so dirty, darling.

According to Goethe, behavior in bed
separates us from the beasts.

Let's become beasts,
I can't deal with intellectuals.

- I am an intellectual.
- You're a monster.

Of course I am.
But you like me, don't you?

You're listening to headlines, 12 o'clock.

The former secret service agent,
Kirk Warren...

who had been convicted and sentenced to the maximum penalty,
for unlawful possession...

A million dollars, escaped
from the prison yesterday at 8 o'clock in the morning...

a few hours before the execution took place.

The police are combing the entire country...

but so far, to no avail.

- Kirk, darling, it's past 12.
- Past 12?

Noon!
I have to get back to work right away!

Leave the games. They're waiting for you at 11:00.
We'll have to see what we can do.

I know what I'm going to do.

Oh, no.

As is customary,
the condemned man eats a hearty breakfast.

- Smithson!
- Hello?

Wouldn't I come alone?

It's noon, Warren.

And I started working at six.

It's the only way to catch the bus.

- The lady's here too. Show some decorum.
- Oh, excuse me.

The habit of living alone.

- Anyone for tea?
- No.

Have you thought of anything, Warren?

Yes, a rough draft.

Let's hear it, Warren.

I can't do it,
without help.

Tell us, what do you need?

Only three men,
Chico Perez...

is a Spanish acrobat.

Gerald Dupont,
the fastest burglar in Europe.

And Professor Paderecki,
better known as the "radar board".

The participation of all three is essential for the
success of the mission.

However, you should reward them,
in proportion to the handsome pension you will give me.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs is available to fund
the mission from secret funds.

And how do we find
your criminal friend?

He can find him for us,
Scotland Yard, of course.

Dupont, the key's gone!

We're full of thieves.

- There you go.
- You're good, thank you very much.

- Why are you helping me?
- No reason.

What I like about men like you...

is that you're handsome, you're cool.
and confident.

And that drives me crazy.

When you're done, you also growl... you're tender.

but also ruthless, I suppose.

The hard men,
are somehow impressionable.

- Do you really think I'm emotional?
- That's what marriage does, think about it, lover.

You're making me feel emotional.

It works!

- Ah!
- The second one.

One million dollars invested
in an appropriate manner...

I'll make 100,000 a year

Divided by 12, that's $8,333.
and 33 cents a month.

If we round it up, to 8,400.

Yes, rounded up, 8,400.

That's 3,000 pounds

28,000 Deutschmarks ...

and 45 million Italian pounds.

Every first of the month, for every month,
in every year.

It is a fixed minimum amount
to live on,

without worrying about expenses.

Many live on much less per month.

Really?
Unbelievable!

They should live in a monastery.

To get oysters you pay $5,
for a Don Perignon, $20.

And I didn't count peanuts,
if you know what I mean.

A little bit.

We can live
without oysters and champagne.

You're kidding!
... I mean, what's the point of such a life?

Kirk, you know the big money,
it can be dangerous!

Even deadly, perhaps.
Especially when it all comes together.

Let me remember to tell the tax man.

- Are you gonna take the job?
- That depends.

I'll teach you how to flirt with the blonde.

- He's not talking to you.
- Leave the parrot alone, and get your feet.

- We need to come up with a plan.
- Sure. You're a true friend.

I thank each of you individually,
and all of you together.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Erina
and her famous parrot.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Socrates...

- The only intelligent bird in its field.
- You are an intelligent bird.

He speaks fluently, four languages.

French, Russian, Spanish
and English.

Socrates has an excellent memory. He learns the
the phone book, and he never forgets it.

Many people learn it,
and they crowd in to see him in my office.

But doesn't everyone have a clear view of him?
No!

Anyone can see
the extraordinary memory of my parrot.

Just give me your name,
or your phone number...

And Socrates will tell you your address.

Alkazar... Alfonso!

116 Catalan Rambla.
Phone number 99443!

His pig has
depressed!

And the third one!

Nor Titi.
So far not many films have been made there.

Hawaii? Many tourists ...
many American tourists.

Too bad they're gathering there,
more and more often.

And Murren. With a million dollars
I'd feel very comfortable in Murray.

A million you don't have.

Not for the moment,
but I'm alive, aren't I?

If you do not fulfill their purpose
you will lose both.

You'll get caught again.

- Prison again?
- No, hangman!

They'll have to catch me first.

You underestimate them, my treasure.

They're watching you.

At your service, Mr. Beckett.

Smithson is an old fox.

But we can "screw him".
... Believe in me!

Hello, puppy.

See you at the Mourin.

You are on the antenna
of television?

- I'll go get her.
- I'll go get her.

Taxi!

Thank you, my friend.

- Victoria Station.
- Yes, sir.

Ε! Driver...
Where do you think you're taking me?

At the country club
of the secret service.

Mr. Smithson is waiting for you.

Ah, sunshine.
Unusual weather.

If you go by the established clichés,
sure.

You will have a traditional weekend.

Old cars, old club, old friends,
all familiar, from school days.

Despondent thought.

Don't count me out next time.

You'll see how this old house
has a rich past.

Countless secret meetings,
between old friends.

The agents
are not cozy with the military.

Don't worry, Warren.
You're the one who's interested in retirement.

- You never had that kind of motivation.
- As long as I live, I hope so.

- Ouch!
- Are you on edge?

You did this, Warren!

You should be ashamed of yourself, my child!

Couldn't you just call?

What happened to you in the last six months?

I guess none of you,
don't read the newspapers.

My neck was in danger.

- My dear child...- It is impossible for you...
- to undertake a mission,

and not try
to steal a million dollars?

This is where you'll get in on the action,
you three experts.

And I'll explain,
why we kidnapped you.

I'll explain how we need to cover
countless possibilities.

Please bear in mind,
that this knowledge is essential.

SECRET SERVICE FILM.
FACTORIES AROUND THE WORLD. SWITZERLAND.

All right, like James Bond!

This is the factory...

- What do we hear?
- Strauss!

A Viennese Waltz!

Psychology experts found
that music helps to increase production.

What you see now,
is the main building of the factory.

The offices we are interested in,
are on the left.

Agent Scott shows up, he made this film.
And it wasn't an easy job.

The factory is surrounded
by a three-metre high barbed wire fence.

You're lighting up!
I repeat: You're lighting up!

I didn't ask for this, you idiot.

You light up at the slightest contact, I mean.
Which means instant death...

by electrocution
because 10,000 volts will fry you.

The current is cut off for short periods of time,

during the day,
when the armed guards patrol!

These guards work six-hour shifts,

And they report to the security center,
by radio.

In this building they keep the important documents
and classified information.

The storage space, located
5 meters below the ground.

It's not difficult to get there.

But it's impossible to get in.

The Warehouse that have the formula,
is labeled "Research".

The other places, we are not interested.

The door to "Research", you watch around the clock
by closed-circuit television.

Wait a minute!
All major entrances are guarded...

from a closed circuit television.

Exactly!
All monitors are in the security center.

There's a death ray on the door!

Someone tipped you off about this?

My name is Radar.
The death ray causes my lips to twitch!

We've made sure he's there.

But so far
we haven't figured out how to get in.

- You don't speak optimistically.
- The safe where they keep the formula...

is the latest technology.

It unlocks with a specific phrase.

Kind of like the story of Ali-Baba!

And here it is
that the human passport needs!

Ax!

The alarm is activated in the safe
and from inside the safe.

This shows that it is practically impossible,
to cut the power.

But just as the guards are about to disconnect it
you'll easily overpower them.

with this.
- What is it?

A gun that shoots laughing gas...

whoever he hits, he laughs non-stop.

I prefer my pike.

... If you know what I mean!

I understand perfectly well what you mean. But in this
mission, there will be no injuries or killing.

Nothing that weighs down our consciousness.

The guards, however, will be on the lookout!

Of course, and with real bullets!

I don't see anything funny.

Have a good trip, Warren.
Switzerland this time of year...

is heaven on earth!

Well,
that's not something that impresses me!

If you know what I mean!

So many beautiful places in Switzerland ...

why did we have to come to a clinic?

You're here on business,
not because you're sick.

- Wormwood.
- Bless you.

- Did you get the disk?
- Here, here it is.

- Hey! - Shh!
- Shh!

Why ..... shot?

What did we do?
... Trampoline okay?

It's on the roof of the car.

The plane's been arranged.

It will be waiting at the old airport,
along the lake.

You still believe
that we should run away from them,

as soon as we finish the job?

Clearly! ....
They want me to steal the formula... Hey!

And, okay, I'll steal it.
But then I'm gonna do some work...

alone, with "Mr. X."

More valuable than the lump sum.
The government would never do that.

How much are we talking about?

How much do you think he'll give?

7 million dollars
in advance...

to each of us.

Your medicine, Mr. Perez.

No, thank you.
I feel much better.

DANGER. HIGH VOLTAGE.

Hurry up!

Shh! Be quiet... Chico!

- Did the guards cut the power?
- No, but two of them got...

a severe headache.

Calm down, calm down, just for a moment.

Why the fuck,
why don't you stop that noise?

Just a moment, just a moment.
Let me see it.

Be careful!

- There you go!
- Congratulations.

Oh! My leg.
My foot is numb.

- Dupont... - Dupont.
- Dupont!

- He's not here... He's not here.
- He's not here!

- What do you mean he's not here? ...
- What do you mean he's not here?

What do you mean he's not here?

- Dupont!
- What's the matter?

Alone!

PRECIOUS METALS.

COBALT DEPOT.

RESEARCH.

- Oh!
- Shh!

RESEARCH.

Good luck, Chico.
If we split up, we'll meet in Majorca.

It'll do.

These leggings of mine
itchy all over.

Shh!
Don't get distracted.

- Hey!
- The death ray, my friend!

First of all, let's turn down the lights.

Or better yet, let's erase it.

- Nothing.
- Nothing if you're a few inches low.

If I can use it to erase
the key word...

I don't think our little guy
champion will have trouble with the beam.

Ready, Dupont?

And remember, stay one with the floor.

Wormwood! Thank you.

- What's going on? Who put the music on?
- Let's go see.

That's it, my friends.

- Oh!
- Follow that car.

- But I have an appointment.
- You have a date with me.

Follow that car.

What car?

My good girl, there's always
a car to follow.

- Where's Dupont?
- I'm here.

I'm coming.

- Dupont!
- I'm coming, I'm coming. We made it... Oh!

We are ready.

- Where's Dupont?
- Even if they caught him...

is the master of escapes,
isn't he?

Hide the car, quick.

We're on the run,
now you too.

Start the engine.

Come on, hurry up!

Hey, why the hell didn't you wait? ...

Hey, wait for me. Wait for me.

Is this another one of your pranks?

... Wait for me.
I'm coming. I'm coming.

Colonel Smithson welcomes you
to the special flight of...

intelligence : 023.
The aircraft is guided electronically ...

to the Cortina d'Ampezzo.

I supervise the automatic navigation
during the flight.

Congratulations, Warren,
for a job so well done.

Anyway, now, it's gonna be
smart of you,

to carry out your instructions.

As soon as you get to Cortina d'Abejo,
you will meet our agent 003...

that will give you all the necessary
information.

How to identify 003,
when I see him?

Don't worry.
You'll recognize him.

Yes, it won't be that difficult.

And where am I supposed to land?

The airport in Cortina has no
the qualities to be suitable...

for an aircraft like this.

Landing is impossible.
Look next to you, it's a ski suit.

Cortina is the ideal place,
for winter sports.

In the next seat,
you'll find the parachute...

which you will use
to jump to Cortina,

the moment they start flashing
the lights that you see.

They are currently flashing,
for demonstration.

But is it necessary to jump?
I don't know about parachutes, you know.

Absolutely necessary, I'm afraid.
You'll only have 76 seconds after the signal,

since it is programmed electronically
the aircraft will self-destruct immediately afterwards.

So you see, if you hesitate
for a moment... you're lost. Haha-ha-ha-ha

Remember that everything is written
in detail in the operating manual.

And all the ship's systems are infallible
...are infallible ...are infallible ...are infallible

Infallible, infallible...

You don't shut up, I say...

ABOUT KIRK WARREN.

- On behalf of the Committee ...
- Congratulations!

... Really impressed, darling.

- Your drink, sir. I was expecting you tonight.
- Sure.

... Yes, I think I can choose...

- Hello, you.

Hi, baby.

- Is there anything I can do to help?
- Scotch on the rocks.

- Scotch on the rocks.
- Yes, sir.

Mr. Warren, the Secret Service,
have reserved room 116 for you. Thank you.

- If you know what I mean.
- Yeah.

- You'll find clothes in the closet, sir.
- Good.

- Anything else, sir?
- No, thank you.

Come on, center.
I want to speak to London immediately.

...Gravesend 2885, personal call
for Mrs. Hillary Shakespeare.

No, irrelevant. Maybe I sound like this
because I was just working out. I'm sorry.

Okay, good.
Thank you very much, bye.

- Please?
- Is that you, Kirk? ...

Where are you calling from?
- Italy,

Cortina d'Abejo.

Listen to me,
the formula has been secured.

None of the other three
left with me.

They didn't make it, to be precise.

Smithson, on the other hand,
omitted one detail...

Pappapaaaaam... He didn't tell me
I'd be dealing with a... corpse!

Is that making things difficult for you?

I remember in a similar situation,
I thought...

Just a moment, Hillary.
Don't hang up.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Impulsive reaction,
due to personal affairs.

It's an impulse that brings me to you.

What's he doing in your bed?

What is a woman doing in your bed?

She's not a woman,
He's the man I was telling you about.

He's not a man, he's a corpse!

He just passed out from too much booze.

If he just threw up,
it brought him...

and get to work.

What do you mean, "get to work",
the man is dead!

- The man is dead!
- Who is he?

- No... Shakespeare.
- Your Shakespeare, Hilary Shakespeare.

What is that voice I hear?

I'm so sorry, Shakespeare...
Can you relay this message?

I'm singing and dancing, handsome.
Why don't you ask me to put on a show for you?

- Cut it out!
- A show? What are you doing over there, Kirk?

She's putting this man in,
in the closet.

But why does he put it in the closet?

Because I'd rather not see him.

- It's sunshine.
- It's a dead man's liquor.

He's faking.
He likes that joke.

If so, let's get serious
at the end.

Let's be clear, I'm a man of patience,
would you please like to...

You're losing your temper,
like all men.

You're getting the hang of it.

Really?
I wonder, what was that, now?

Let go of me,
to tell you exactly what's going on.

I'm sorry, Hillary,
but I have to be telegraphic.

The situation is changing,
since 003 no longer exists...

I am abandoning the negotiation
with the secret services.

And I will negotiate personally,
with "Mr. X."

To give me $4 million

taking in return,
the formula!

- I can't wait!
- I'll be with you in a minute.

I'm about ready.

Hello .... Hello.

Come on! Kirk!

A message came for you,
Mr. Warren.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, sir.

I'll wait for you in my apartment,
this afternoon.

Number 502 ... at nine . "Mademoiselle".

Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle.

It's four o'clock.

The hour that arrives
my little Cleopatra.

O Romeo, why be thou Romeo, Romeo?

Don't worry about that.

- My name is Kirk.
- Ω! Sweetie!

IIIIIIIIIIII!

Good evening, Mr. Warren.
Would you like to come in?

Will you allow me
to buy you a drink from my wine? A little.

Yes, I had many friends in my youth.

Dear friends really.
Many of them are not alive today.

Among them, the unfortunate Mata Hari.

My poor childhood friend.

I found myself in the uncomfortable position,
to neutralize her.

It should be withdrawn
until the war is over.

At least at the beginning

I was on the enemy's side,
that is until I crossed over to the other side.

I was present at the operations,
for 16 glorious years.

Why have I changed sides so many times...

so I'm confused myself.

Of course everyone in the profession does that.
And they joke, describing how.

But speaking of my career, as a
as a spy, I neglected to mention you.

- I bet you're wondering why I asked to see you.
- Yes.

Watched
how you're handling this case,

and I want to help you
to avoid further mistakes.

It doesn't suit a young man like you,
to wear a noose around your neck.

You work for Smithson, don't you?

Yes, you could put it that way.

He's more sophisticated, and he's a cop.
than you think, I assure you.

- It won't be easy to fool him.
- I don't intend to.

Not much explanation is needed now,
but I know more than you'd expect.

In other case,
he would have considered it a disastrous day,

will continue to work on the formula,

and would not make plans to retrieve it.

- Good work, Mademoiselle.
- No big deal,

one time, I took care of them with one hand.

- Shall I pour you a drink?
- Please.

- You know these two?
- No.

They're Mr. X's men.
They wanted the formula.

We have to give it at a solid price,
what do you say, boy?

So you think we're partners now?

Oh, I always take the role of partner.
The rest of you are little people.

- He's seen a spider...

and after he had his eye on you
you can't get rid of her.

All I have to do is thank
the super agent.

But for now, leave him alone, Faine.
I have business to discuss with Mr. Warren.

He sort of thanked me.
Tell me where I can find Mr. X,

and we'll have you out of here in no time.

Venitix and Max Square,
you'll find one of his emissaries waiting for you.

What are you doing, man?
I'm the messenger.

Let's go.
It's getting dark.

Come on, what are you talking about?

Watch your step please.

The damn pigeons,
they're everywhere.

Nothing is happening,
unless you become a tidbit!

Everything happens to me.

- Nothing, nothing, is anything going on?
- Gulp!

He said no, see?
Let's see.

I don't have a good view. It's not for pigeons
all over the square. I can't see the signs.

The traffic police should have kept it low.
Ah! Here we are.

This is the place.

Will you come in?

You are very kind.

Too heavy for a model, isn't it?

It has been used
a specially compressed material ...

It's hard to get customers,
if you're not constantly renewing.

It is equally difficult
to extract a formula.

Sit down, Mr. Warren.

What are your requirements,
for a good investment?

Mr. X would prefer
to shut it down without delay.

4 million US dollars.

Can you imagine if we did the honors
to panhandle 4 million?

You imagine 4 million American dollars,
in your pockets?

imagine
$4 million, cash?

I imagine most of it,
in large bills.

And do you imagine they're flattering
and unused...

these bills?

It certainly impresses me,
that you have more imagination.

And what will I see,
when you see American dollars?

That night
you will receive wondrous merchandise.

- Possible problem, Mr. Warren?
- No, there's no problem.

I'm just looking for a way to get back quickly
and discreetly back to the hotel.

- Is there another way out?
- There is something better.

- A small submarine.
- You're very good.

But how do you go back, again?

I prefer more traditional ways
of travel.

Do you take 45? Do you read 45?
Ascending to periscope height.

Confirmation. Over.

All we need is the formula.

Get on board here, no tricks.

It's not like it's for the dead
to have company.

How did it go, gentlemen, over?

Ugly.
Over.

- What you mean: Ugly?
- Bad, ugly, ugly, over.

Oh, Mr. Warren, there's been a misunderstanding.
My sister...

he took my orders completely the wrong way.
I'm very sorry. Yes!

I can imagine. I also imagine
I will now only be speaking directly with "Mr. X."

Over. .... Oh, and the price is now higher, over.

Ah, Mr. Warren, you're easily offended.
And where do you want to meet Mr. X?

- Over, to you.
- At the Mediterranean Hotel at the port in Mallorca.

Take it back... over...
and moo-moo us!

I'll drill him this afternoon.
I'm going to pierce him in the afternoon.

The x will be accurate on time,
in the afternoon.

And the tea
is served exactly at four o'clock.

In the harbor, sir.

Extraordinary firepower, forever...

When the mother with the white pawns is found in the
first and Pi square,

a summer with her folks.
Exactly 76 grams until they simmer.

There will be plutonium,
he'll play a harmonium, etc., etc.

- Let's make sure he doesn't forget.
- It is absolutely certain.

Put it back in his mouth.

He said it 20 times, Kirk.
Relax.

- Start burning it.
- Four million dollars, gone.

The memory of Socrates is the best
safe in the world.

There is no place on earth to
to contain Dupont.

And no kind of prison, which
that can hold him!

Now that Socrates has memorized the formula,
nothing stops any of us.

And I've got you back again, Dupont.

It's a great day.

Now, let's make sure we stick together,
no matter what happens.

- Think well what you will think, gentlemen.
- Oh, shut up, you traitor.

We need to create a distraction
and act with speed.

He used to like to call it out,

thought tastes, tightens, matures.

Show me your ticket, please,

I'm not going anywhere.

Mr. Warren,
I welcome you aboard my little yacht.

My fiancée, I believe you know her.

- What is it to you, you said?
- I said she's a fiancée.

Everyone should have a fiancée,
Mr. Warren.

Like everyone has a mother.

Indeed.
Except you don't have a father.

Can you imagine, how can you imagine
why I invited you?

I guess I lack imagination,
to imagine why.

I want the formula...
I want it now...

and I'm not going to pay you at all.

You're not paying?
No goodies.

I have a doctorate in karate.

I don't carry the formula with me.

And as I told you before, I'm not dealing with you,
but with "Mr. X."

Come on, closer.

Hey, how about this?
247870.

Just the label on the pants.

I hate people who wear pants like that.

- Does it help if I take off my underwear?
- I guess not.

Speak, please.
... Sure, sir.

Yes, sir.

You win, Mr. Warren.
Mr. X is willing to pay.

Only now I think ,
I'm gonna get $5 million

Where will the payment be made?

After Chico Perez's performance.

Chico's dressing room.

- You skipped your granita variety.
- Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

I know it's necessary for you
to be away, but you had to leave, didn't you?

I suppose this confusion happens if you're
a spy by nature.

Oh, wish it was unconventional behavior
that I passed on to you.

If you're not thinking about getting naked fast,
ask me to leave.

Don't be shy.

You cover and cover again
this wonderful sight.

Let go, baby... with passion!

Oh! I see you're drunk,
crush me in your passion!

Hey, wait a minute, I'm not a steamroller.

What exactly are you doing here in Palma?

I see you weeping, learning
that this body is on offer.

Aren't you jealous, Othello?
Desdemona is getting married.

He's nothing special,
but I have to look to my future.

- It happens often, this.
- No, only on the cheap stuff.

Who's the lucky guy?
... Way of speaking.

What are you talking about? Weapons and fuel.
He's one of the biggest businessmen in Texas.

And whether I'll have a wife, I don't know,
gasoline is fine.

- And you know how much you make in the arms trade?
- Millions of dollars?

Read more.
Much more.

Interesting work too.

International beauties, chasing money.

Since you're having a wedding like this,
what are you doing in my bed?

Stop looking all the time,
and come here.

I told you,
that little Faine is here.

But she's with a man!

- With a British man.
- British, but still a man.

- The British are famous for their coolness.
- And rightly so.

They live on their island in the middle of the ocean
surrounded by codfish.

If some people enjoy traveling
and know a little passion,

we have to do everything
to please them.

Your Faine is not so primitive
that because of...

of your marriage, he would neglect that.
... Barbarian!

Fae ... Fae!

Faye!

Oh, Faine!

You can do that after the wedding.

Now they have other priorities.

Oh, don't worry, Mr. Warren...

It was inevitable that you would meet
one of these days.

You were going to, fie-fie

Oh, and another thing, Mr. Warren,

You deserve congratulations for
for the way you handled our little matter.

Goodbye mon amour, goodbye.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Look who's here!

Haven't you finished this tour yet?

Why did you come back to clean up
the Chinese man's scales, Cinderella?

I wish I could explain to you how this
this nutcase is invading my privacy.

You're throwing it at the joke.

I'm always very serious...

When I see a gun.

"Mrs. X."

Oh, I don't belong to that organization, Kirk.

And how do you explain your feeling with the Chinese guy?

I'm watching him.
For Colonel Smithson.

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa! Miss Hilary Shakespeare,
at Her Majesty's service.

In that case, why the gun?
... It's not very friendly.

I'm not going to leave you,
betray us again!

I think you should know,
that I don't babble.

I don't want to send you back to the gallows, Kirk.

Oh, so it's you I have to thank?

... For getting off the hook.

Great!

You never really know,
until that time comes.

Give me the formula, Kirk.

I'll arrange it with Smithson this afternoon.

I don't know the formula,
I said it as a diversion.

I don't believe you.

Ω,
the fairy doesn't believe little Pinocchio.

Look, my nose,
it's not growing!

The formula, Kirk.

You act as if you can cut the words,
with a chopper.

I don't want to cut anything.
But I want the formula.

If you want the formula,
go with my plan.

Just let me put on my work clothes,
before I go out, darling.

You're not going to spoil everything,
this time, Hillary.

You're just gonna play it my way.

And I want my one million tonight,
on my fairy's shoulders.

And no one... will stop me.

To avoid birth defects
in insect colonies...

where the three parts produce high levels of toxins...

we resort to electrical insulation.
Oh! What am I saying?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
is the culmination of the drama

and involves 2,500 million and,
more species in the ecosystem...

We'll check that later.

For now, I'll keep them.

...by the method of insulation, the three parts...
HOWAAA MAMA!

Let's split up!

You make it easy for them to find the formula,
if we split up.

You don't remember anything.
But I burned her!

Let's go, quickly.

Go from both sides.

After them!
Come on.

Attention please,
the Iberian Airlines flight

announces that flight number two...

departing from corridor four,
for Granada.

You have to get them.
I want them alive.

- What time is there a line to Palma?
- 4:30, sir.

Don't look now,
but I have a feeling we're being followed.

Good are Healthy habits ...

but don't you think you're also

how this tea break,
has gone too far?

Ciao, for now.

After them!

- Kirk?
- I'm here, Chico.

Come on, there's one for everyone.

I was hoping it wouldn't happen, but
if the gentlemen...

try to escape
shoot them in the legs.

- I'm trying to save the formula.
- What formula?

Come on, I'm just kidding.
I'M TRYING TO SAVE THE TRUCK!

Men, on your feet.
Remember.

I'm back, I'm coming!

You're good with our guys?
Put your glasses on, please.

For God's sake!

- You're an idiot!
- Sorry, I don't do it on purpose.

Come on up, Warren. Quickly for a name
of God. Hurry up!

Get on quickly and don't hesitate.

Help me get my hand out
out of here.

Sure, I'll see you.

Mr. Warren, Mr. X,
is proposing a deal...

the formula in exchange
the lives of your three friends.

In this case,
all I can do...

is his return
the money he gave me.

Along with my one million dollars.

- That's a hell of a regiment.
- Mr. X is not interested in money...

he wants the formula.
- The formula burned with Socrates.

I know.
But Socrates got away with it.

Your friends and the others made fools of
shooting each other like cowboys.

That's why I took the initiative
to hide the poor creature in a safe place.

- Oh, what a pain! I'm dying! I'm not well.
- My little buddy, Socrates.

- Oh, what a pain.
- Shockers!

The formula!

Can't you see my tragic situation?

- He doesn't remember the formula well because of the electroshock.
- You're down, you're down.

- Why did you do that?
- It was necessary to save his life,

and so it happened.

He will remember it correctly, but it takes time.

But this was all I had.

My friends' lives are at stake.

There's always something, baby,
to not do it?

- Look, your fiancé's over there.
- He knows you're British.

I'd rather not joke about it.

Socrates will never speak again.
Socrates will not become a clown!

One moment, please.

It's "Mr. X." He wants to know if
you've decided what you're going to do.

Tell him I agree...

and send tomorrow
to pick me up and take me to the golf course.

That's where I'll give him the formula.

But to give the formula...

you have to have it in your hands,
and once you have it, where's the difficulty?

That I don't have the formula in my hands.

I see! Wonderful, excellent!
I love mysteries.

I've thought of everything, Mr. Warren.
Now it's up to you.

My work is done.

Here's your percentage.

You won it fair and square.

- When the bird is in a condition to speak...
- I sealed my mouth!

I mean, when Socrates does us a favor,
send me the formula to London.

Smithson's going to go crazy with joy.

You're risking your life to save your friends.

They have no one else but me.
Sometimes I deserve their company.

If you know what I mean.

Come on, boy,
we need to fix your arm.

I'm absolutely certain that
I lived...

a similar situation,
many years ago.

- Who do you think you are?
- Oh, hello, sir.

I guess,
you're expecting to see Mr. X tonight.

I imagine "Mr. X",
is waiting to see me.

I imagine you realize
"that Mr. X is waiting for you.

Oh, cut that thing out.
My imagination is not required for this.

Come in, Mr. Warren, come in.

Look at that. "Mr. X."

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa!

- Did I surprise you, Warren?
- Not in the least.

Oh, come now, Mr. Warren, I always thought
that you were a fisherman.

But don't tell me
that you suspected me from the beginning.

To track down the bad guy,
I began to think in purely democratic terms.

Some other times,
it was always the butler's fault.

Excuse me,
I'd like you to do me a favor...

If it's not something difficult.

Tell me something, then...

Maybe I'm just being a jerk, but I think you had
the ability to get the formula yourself...

What's the point of involving me,
and the secret service?

I'd expect you to clean up after yourself.

It's very simple, because you were
the only one who could...

to organize and carry out
this practically impossible heist.

- Thank you.
- Don't mention it!

When the job is done, like Wilcox
I will control the secret services...

And as "Mr. X," of course,
I will control you!

Do you want to play?
Come on.

I had clearly understood,
that it wouldn't be enough for you...

simply the pension of his majesty.

And that you would take your own initiative.

You're very independent,
to get involved in collective interests.

Men like you set the bar high.

But when they are faced with
men like me with power, they always lose.

Probably,
it is not always obvious in such a conflict...

if right is with the strong
or with the weak.

And now, Warren, if you'd be so kind,
give me the formula...

which is most useful to me,
than it is to you.

I'm sorry, sir,
but I don't have it with me.

Then why did you come to meet me?
You win over a million.

No, I don't want to join you at the gallows.

Warren, I hate the gallows,
as much as anyone else.

I'm afraid I have more to gain
except a weekend with you.

I want the formula.
So don't kill him.

No!!!!!!!!

I warned you!

I'm sorry, sir,
I've already used that joke.

I'm dying for the cookie.
is unadulterated, Mr. Fuhrer.

- What?
- Nobizo da doo, empanelabo tonte.

I say, I'm dying for your cookie.
is rather unappetizing, isn't it, Mr. Warren?

- Say it again. I say, the biscuit...
- Slow down!

...it's ungrateful, Mr. Warren!

I need to get the formula.
Don't let him get away, guys.

Don't let him get away, folks.
Don't let him get away!

Come on, then.
For Queen and country.

For the Queen and country?
He's a monarchist.

Oh, it doesn't work.

With a little style, if you don't mind.

Next, please.

Gentlemen,
I want to add variety to my performance!

I passed you .... I passed you!

I'll go down first.

Be careful, I'm worried about you.

Come on...

Hold it, please!

Thank you!

Wait a minute!

Beware!

- Good morning, your tea, sir.
- Thank you.

I want him alive!

Alive, let's take him alive.
As a thought, it's a good one.

Hello, Mr. Warren, I guess
you enjoy dealing with the experienced.

All I have to do is take care of it, then.

Sit down.

I see you've got it plastered.

I'm putting everything...

8.000 ... 50.000 ... 100.000
200.000!

500.000 ... 800.000
... 900.000!

Very nice!
While I'm risking my life...

for you, you play poker.

I wasn't the one who played dirty
in the beginning.

- One million!
- But then we understood what happened.

Hey, Mr. X is getting away.

- Seriously, now?
- Seriously.

Come on, let's see what we can do.

- Why are you sitting here doing nothing?
- And leave the game when I'm losing?

We'll get rid of "Mr. X",
after we go after our $4 million!

It all has to be in the safe, right?

It'll be a piece of cake to chew on
"Mr. X."

If you know what I mean.

Well... we did it.

No war
is not won without casualties.

But, what to do.

Long distance.
Connection to London.

May 2427 ....

Yeah, I know.
the number of intelligence agencies.

Is there anything he doesn't know?

Hello?
Colonel Smithson?

This is Warren... Kirk Warren!

Ha-ha... Ha, ha!

I kept it inside,
the word wouldn't come out, you see!

My psychiatrist was right.
Repeating the formula,

I'm fighting all my complexes. I love you Lulu!
- I know you love me.

Socrates is in love.

It was not easy to
for Smithson to look the other way.

He always wants
to get what he wants very much.

So Smithson
has both the formula and the traitor!

The formula in dollars
and Wilcox in jail, of course.

Now,
there is nothing more to be said, except...

- Come on, say it...
- Smithson wants you all back again.

The secret services,
have an important mission for you.

Here...
Read it.

Smithson must think I'm crazy.

- If you know what I mean?
- I mean the same thing.

END.

Amateur subtitles: oberOn.