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POLICE HEADQUARTERS

You've heard the latest news?

There was an attempt on the life of the First Consul in Paris.

And please don't say you're innocent.

You are, I suppose.

But Bonaparte wants quick answers, which more often than not tend to be wrong.

I arrested 122 Jacobins.

You know, those who believe the Revolution is still in progress.

Like me. And like you, I presume.

We each have our own part to play.

What is yours? Monsieur...

Bailly, my Lord Minister. Sylvain Bailly. I'm a cook, sir.

So your role is to cook.

As chief of police, mine is to question suspects.

Now...

Do you know anything about the Infernal Machine bomb?

You were arrested five days before the attack.

You criticized First Consul Bonaparte out loud in a café.

I did not criticize Bonaparte, my Lord Minister.

"My Lord Minister." Monsieur.

You know my other names.

The "Butcher of Lyon." Does that sound familiar?

Our Republic missioned me to combat the rebels in Lyon,

but they were swarming like insects,

and the guillotine was too slow and merciful for them.

The cannon was more efficient, a bit less precise,

but quite dissuasive.

I, however, am neither slow nor merciful.

Lefty or righty? I'd prefer you didn't lie.

I'd like to taste your cuisine once this masquerade is over.

Which is quite improbable at best.

So lefty or righty?

Righty.

Place your left hand on the table.

- What? - You prefer I pull the trigger?

I wasn't involved.

- [bones cracking] - [screams]

Have mercy.

Monsieur Sylvain Bailly, I thank you.

[sniffles, sobs]

Take him to his cell.

Next!

[sighs]

[footsteps approach]

Thank you.

I want proof that Bailly is alive.

Fouché has hidden him.

It's not like I'm inquiring about an uncle in the provinces.

How can I be sure you're trying?

You can't.

You have to trust me.

Sort it out,

or I'll seek help elsewhere.

I give in to many things...

but not blackmail.

[footsteps approach]

All is well, Your Excellency?

Yes.

Return to the kitchen.

Go.

Don't underestimate me.

Monsieur de Talleyrand.

Don't put your arrogance above your talent.

[roaster] Hurry up, guys. They're waiting. Let's go!

I want tiny pieces.

Yes, take that one. Hurry up.

So, kid, you like your new kitchen?

A specialty of my father's.

I thought you were an orphan.

He named it the "Extraordinaire."

What's so extraordinary about it?

[roaster] I told you to carve the bird.

- [worker] It needs to rest. - Carve the damn bird!

- It didn't rest enough. - What's the problem? What's happening?

- The meat hasn't rested enough. - And?

The blood hasn't settled back into the muscle. It's too taut.

- [Carême] And? - The flesh won't be tender enough.

Good boy.

You're the new roaster.

And?

I'm fired?

Good boy. You get it.

And?

Uh...

Thank you?

No.

Try once more.

That's impossible. It's our last piece of meat.

It's what?

There's no more. That was our last piece.

We have no more meat? What's this nonsense?

[sighs]

Do we have a delivery problem? Where's my meat?

- I have no idea. It's your kitchen. - [workers laugh]

A lunch without meat is a lousy start.

I see. Listen carefully.

Trust me to manage this kitchen, or leave this minute.

[door closes]

Liliane? You're staying?

One day you will leave, my dear boy.

Won't be me.

[Carême] This.

Take this.

[Germaine] His Civil Code is limiting our freedom.

You'll see. Bonaparte is killing the Revolution.

He is limiting freedom of speech and the right to assemble.

He may even abolish divorce.

That right?

It was granted during the Revolution. They won't touch it. I'll work on him.

Monsieur, that's kind of you.

You could say I'm a romantic.

I always leave room for love and romance.

Do you think Joséphine will give in?

She commands the crusade against divorce.

Bonaparte is in love and proud, but in time he'll come around.

Hmm. Come around to what?

Accepting to leave Joséphine because she can't bear children?

No one wants to always choose from the same menu, hmm?

No matter how delicious.

Well, you'll just have to convince Joséphine

to prevent him from removing divorce from the Civil Code.

A simple formality for you.

[Talleyrand] At your service, Madame de Staël.

You may have access to Bonaparte's ear, but you don't share his bed, do you?

[chuckles]

At least, I hope not.

[all laugh]

Does your new cook think we've become rabbits?

I present vegetable canapés.

Cabbage stuffed with mushrooms.

Fire-roasted boletus mushrooms.

Baroness, my newest cook, Antonin Carême.

I hired him because he held a knife to my throat.

[all laugh]

And now, goodness knows why, he removes every pleasure from my life.

That's what people call...

Excuse me... [whispers]

...pleasure but without guilt, Monsieur.

There is no pleasure without guilt.

- [Germaine] Mmm. - Taste it.

Do you like the new France, Antonin Carême?

Innocent souls are still arrested and executed.

I don't think the new France is so different from the old one, Baroness.

Have we met before?

I read.

[chuckles] Oh. A cultivated cook.

- You've found a rare gem there. - [all laugh]

Almost as rare as a philosopher who cooks.

- [Talleyrand chuckles] - Hmm.

Bon appétit.

Whatever you want, it's no.

- You can't possibly keep ignoring me. - Maybe I can.

Fine. I'm in desperate need of your help.

- You must be joking. - I swear it's not for me.

Your mixture with the herbs.

- Laudanum? - No.

For the headaches,

and ankles.

No one can know. It's a secret.

So, please.

Is that a yes?

Well, come on.

Thanks.

[Henriette] Charlotte?

Come here.

Come. Show us your bruise.

Come.

He's a friend.

Look.

Come, now.

Go slow.

Morning, Charlotte.

I've come to help. I'm Antonin.

You bruised your head?

And your leg? May I look?

[Charlotte] Will I be a cripple?

No, no.

This is nothing.

- You like magic? - Yeah.

Yes?

What's behind your ear?

[Carême gasps]

I'll put some cream on your leg, all right?

[door opens]

[door slams]

Someone's here. Hurry.

And there.

Just like new.

Thank you, Antonin.

My pleasure, Charlotte.

It's nap time. Let's go.

Who is that child?

Charlotte.

[chuckles] And who is Charlotte?

Here's a piece of advice you may not follow at all,

but forget her.

- [chuckles] - [door opens]

[footsteps approach]

She's theirs, right?

[footsteps continue]

- She has his eyes. - Shh!

- She's afraid of being a cripple. - Quiet now.

She's Catherine and Talleyrand's daughter, isn't she?

[Henriette clicks tongue]

Please don't talk.

[chuckles]

Come.

But she's a prisoner.

[both laugh]

We're all prisoners.

[children chattering and laughing]

Étienne! I have some food.

- Here. - Thank you.

- Which one? - That one.

- This? - Yes, please.

Thank you.

- So I need your help. - Tell me.

Who could use a secret on Talleyrand?

All of Paris.

But who most of all?

A man...

you don't wanna know.

You may want...

to take a look

around the north wing of Galliffet.

Do be careful.

The limping bishop has a little girl....

All right.

...whose name is Charlotte.

[children shouting and laughing]

- Bring me that boy. - [officer] Yes, sir.

[officer] Stop now!

Stop now!

Don't move!

[breathes heavily]

Whoa!

You should have waited inside. You'll tire yourself out.

No. Inside it smells of sulfur. I wouldn't advise it.

It's bad for your poor, weakened lungs, Minister Fouché.

My Lord Bishop of Autun.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Isn't there a bombing to investigate?

- Bonaparte was furious. - Hmm.

Don't we both know that it's not the Jacobins?

Some say you're the greatest Minister of Police that France has ever known.

Could I possibly know something that you don't? Hmm?

You're right. I always end up finding out.

For instance, how is your precious child?

Charlotte, I believe. Congratulations.

I don't remember the announcement.

I do hope you told Bonaparte. He adores children.

But not bishops' children.

There was a time when you would force priests and nuns to marry.

Yes, but they were married.

You have bred children out of wedlock with your mistress.

Bonaparte is slightly conservative.

I fear he may be forced to dismiss you.

What a pity.

Unless you have information pertaining to the bombing?

Good day, my Lord Minister.

I came to warn you that Bonaparte has heard of the child.

I didn't expect you to bend.

[Catherine] Come.

[chuckles]

[Catherine] So?

Does he make love as well as he cooks?

Who's "he"?

Who do you think?

[Henriette chuckles]

It's difficult to choose one.

[both laugh]

[door opens]

It is my turn now, Henriette.

You may go.

Is there something wrong?

They found out.

About Charlotte.

Who found out?

Fouché.

And Bonaparte.

Impossible.

I'll push to find out more.

So what happens now?

Our image is tarnished, my dear.

The First Consul won't tolerate, in his cabinet, a former bishop

living with his mistress.

[scoffs] He wouldn't say "mistress."

Even worse with an illegitimate child.

He despises me.

And Joséphine feels the same.

He's demanding a public separation.

Impossible.

He will remove my ministry.

Marry me, then.

Marriage is a beautiful thought that must last a lifetime.

Not to mention if divorce is banned, hmm?

We're in love. That's what matters.

Do we really need to be married?

Don't be ridiculous.

[chuckles]

We are made for each other.

How much have we endured together during these troubled times?

How many missions did you entrust me with?

If you leave me alone and abandoned,

and I cross paths with Fouché...

who knows what I'll tell him?

Why, is this blackmail?

No, it's love, my lord.

[door closes]

[Carême clears throat]

[sighs]

Your first wages.

And your last.

Did you actually miss the fact that revealing Charlotte's existence

would inevitably reach Bonaparte?

He insists I make my union with Catherine official.

I'm forced to propose to her

to keep my position.

Allow me to give you a taste of the damage you caused.

Joséphine can't bear children.

She is petrified Bonaparte will repudiate her,

so she wants to ban divorce.

Who was the only one defending divorce?

Me.

And now, thanks to you,

I've lost all credibility

and divorce is a thing of the past.

But not just for me or for you,

but for all of France!

And for our dear First Consul.

You've proven you can mess up my life. Happy?

As well as your father's.

I was the only one in the world

who tried to do something that might help him.

But yet again, huh,

you missed that one too.

Disappear.

And don't look for work.

You won't find any.

I have a plan.

I can fix everything.

[Talleyrand scoffs]

Our precious cook has a plan.

- [scoffs] - You can still save divorce.

Joséphine must be persuaded.

Throw a party to announce your engagement to Catherine.

Invite Joséphine...

- [scoffs] - ...and I'll handle the rest.

And why would I do that?

Bonaparte doesn't hate anything

quite just as much as his own wife's infidelity.

[chuckles]

I think she may like me.

- I can make her change her mind. - Hmm.

Blackmail.

It's fashionable these days.

Since your cuisine brought peace,

now you believe that your cock may save divorce?

Absolutely.

If you fail,

I will be pleased to have you join Bailly in prison.

Go.

Shoo. Disappear.

Did you request my presence?

I need your help with something, at the party for Madame.

[chuckles]

You owe me one, don't you?

Tit for tat?

Courtiade!

Do we still have Monsieur Bailly's invoices?

- Of course, Monsieur. - Bring them to me.

[sighs]

"My dear Antonin, I'm the only one who was asked to write,

which means you are searching for me.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Please know that the only thing keeping me alive in this horrible place is..."

...seeing you again.

"This adventure is a life lesson."

[both] Idealism is overrated. I realize this now.

What matters is to love, and to protect our loved ones.

And I hope to be able to make it up to you someday

and hug you tightly.

- "My dearest son." - [Talleyrand] My dearest son.

- Your father. - "Your father...

Bailly."

There's someone here for you.

Why are you here?

Already miss the Tuileries?

I bet Talleyrand went overboard to hire you.

Come work with me.

I need you, please.

Antonin, don't mess with me.

Me?

You show up out of the blue and shake things up.

I could have come back sooner.

Maybe there's still time.

You see what we did in just one meal?

I really miss your moves, your habits, your creativity.

Each one of your plates is a work of art. Agathe.

Already messing up at Galliffet?

Or you wouldn't have come calling.

You never share the glory.

I'm being serious.

Only Talleyrand can help me save my father.

That's why I work for him.

[chuckles]

Sorry, but that's not my problem.

Good luck.

- [Carême] Gentlemen. - Look, it may be difficult...

This engagement party has to be an unforgettable success,

and an event is successful when each guest is totally drunk

without even realizing it.

So let's get them drunk. But how?

Any ideas?

Babas au rhum, heavy on the rum.

What else?

Let's douse abalone with champagne.

Good, Noël.

What else?

[Agathe] Cook everything in alcohol!

Venison with honey and cider!

Langoustines with anise liqueur!

Scallops in yellow wine,

and, careful, never ever flambéed.

The alcohol mustn't evaporate.

[guard] Madame claims to know you.

Alas.

Please meet Agathe, my number two.

I have conditions.

[chuckles] Wait...

- Number one, I get paid same as you. - You know what I'm paid?

- And two, we don't sleep together. - You know if I'm any good?

And three, we work as a team!

Which means each one of us has our own station,

and whatever you do, you're responsible.

And do it perfectly. Do you understand?

Hear me?

[worker] Yes, Madame. Sorry, Madame.

And you.

You don't ever touch a pot again.

You give the orders, we follow them.

Understand?

And now let's get to it!

[chuckles] Our new boss, wouldn't you say?

[Carême] Alcohol in every single dish! Every one! Keep pouring it on!

Let's go!

That's the sauce?

No, not enough alcohol. What is this?

[chattering and laughing]

My dear friends, welcome to this humble gathering.

Tonight, we celebrate the most delicious gift

our Lord has bestowed upon us in this anguished world:

women.

[guests chattering, laughing]

[Agathe] Excellent liquor.

You should add more wine.

Your men will stand behind you and will serve you throughout the dinner.

[guests exclaiming]

Of course,

I shall serve my beloved.

My future wife.

[crowd gasping]

Princess Catherine Noël Grand de Talleyrand-Périgord!

Music!

[server] Would you like an aniseed liqueur candy?

With pleasure.

He promised us a decadent evening.

He kept his promise.

- [gasps] Mother. - My darling.

I suppose that my brother has refused to come.

I am the only Bonaparte to endorse this masquerade.

Your brother is most probably torturing the lawmakers for the umpteenth time.

They're refining the Civil Code. It's his latest hobby.

He is hellbent on challenging everything the Revolution has achieved

by drafting his own Civil Code.

[Bonaparte's brother chuckles]

It is an honor to have you here among us.

The engagement of a whore to a bishop? I wouldn't miss it for the world.

[Catherine] My future husband says repentance opens the doors to heaven.

But one must sin to be able to repent.

I'm terribly sorry that Bonaparte couldn't be here to wait on you.

I have no doubt that someone else will volunteer.

[chuckles]

[applause and cheering]

[Carême] Take it out!

[guests cheering]

[Carême] Don't let up on the booze!

- You'll get drunk, Liliane. - Well, that's the idea, dear.

[Agathe] Service! Two chickens, two scallops. Right away!

[whooping]

Can I help in any way?

Could you possibly bring this to our esteemed First Lady?

[Henriette] My pleasure.

Madam?

Welcome, from the head cook.

I know that cocktail.

The cook wishes to know if you like it.

Tell him...

it's a tad too strong.

Very well. The cook can add some ice.

I think you may need ice.

What, now?

When may I compliment your wonderful cook?

You may borrow him.

- Hmm? - But for only one day.

Now you must organize the party.

Excellent idea.

[Talleyrand] Hortense, Louis! Come with me.

[Hortense] Where are you taking us?

[knocking]

[door opens]

[Joséphine inhales deeply]

I don't ever have sex twice, not with a domestic.

Uh...

I don't believe we've had sex.

[chuckles] Are you saying that I'd remember it?

No.

I'm saying...

I...

- would remember it. - [chuckles]

It's magnificent. So this is a kitchen?

- Yes. - [chuckles]

It's quite impressive.

You haven't seen anything yet. I do love a good presentation.

[Louis chuckles]

- So I shall blindfold you. - [laughs]

- Turn around, please. - Ah.

- Mmm. - You won't be disappointed.

[moaning]

- Here, Louis. - [Hortense laughs]

Did you know I just adore surprises?

- [Hortense laughs] - How perfect.

[moaning]

[Talleyrand] This way. Can you see anything?

- [Hortense] No, no. - [Louis] No.

[moaning]

- Now... - I hope you don't catch cold easily.

- How very amusing. - [laughs]

[moaning, panting]

- [Talleyrand] Follow me. - [Hortense] Let's go.

- I'll follow you. - [Talleyrand] Come. Follow my voice.

[Hortense chatters, laughs]

- Did you hear? - [Talleyrand] We're almost there.

- [Hortense laughs] - [Louis] Oh.

- Let's not trip. - [Louis] Wait.

[Talleyrand] Are you ready?

- [Hortense] Louis? - [Louis] Yes. Still can't see a thing.

[whispers] It's your daughter.

With your husband's brother.

[Hortense chatters]

They'll never know.

However, you must promise me something.

Save your marriage.

Save the right to divorce.

You have to convince him to leave divorce in the Civil Code.

- [Hortense laughs] - [Talleyrand] Wait. Now, I...

[Hortense] Hold my hand tight, Louis.

[Louis] I'm following you.

[Hortense] Be careful.

- [Louis] What is this? - [giggles]

- You may untie your blindfold. - [Hortense] Uh...

- [Louis] There. - Wait a second.

- [Louis] What in the world? - [Hortense laughs]

What's happening?

[Louis] What is... Well, this is definitely mysterious.

[Louis chuckles]

- Go ahead. - [Hortense] All right.

- [Talleyrand] Give me your hand. - [Hortense] I'm holding you.

- Remove your blindfold. - [chuckles]

[both gasp]

Open it.

These are exotic fruits.

They're from all around the world.

Catherine had them brought especially for you.

- Oh! - [Louis] Exotic fruits.

This one is called a litchi.

- Mmm! - They all promote fertility.

So your marriage will be long and fruitful.

I've never tasted anything like it before! Mmm!

You shouldn't have, Monsieur Talleyrand.

I shall request that Catherine has some brought for your mother and Bonaparte.

- How kind of you. - Only normal.

I hope maybe you'll forgive me. It wasn't my choice.

I will have your prick stuffed down your throat.

Oh, no. Time to leave?

[sighs] My best wishes to you.

And if your marriage should fail, Monsieur,

well, at least there's always divorce.

Would you have gladly doomed millions of souls to miserable marriages

just to manage to save your own?

He'll never divorce me, never.

- [Talleyrand chuckles] - He loves me.

Perfect. Then why worry?

[Joséphine] I don't.

Your Excellency.

[Talleyrand] "Down with the Tyrant"?

"The arbitrary will of one individual

sends men without even a trial to prison and to the guillotine."

These leaflets are being handed out.

Do you think it's Germaine de Staël?

- [Talleyrand] I'm afraid so. - What do we do?

For now, nothing.

[clicks tongue]

Now go.

The same person wrote it.

[officer shouting]

Right over here. Don't be shy.

[footsteps approaching]

[Fouché] Who gave you this letter?

Lefty or righty?

Subtitling: DUBBING BROTHERS

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