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[ static ]
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[ country music plays ]
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>> ♪ my dreams are all dead and
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Buried ♪
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♪ sometimes I wish the sun would
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Just explode ♪
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♪ when god comes and calls me to
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His kingdom ♪
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♪ I'll take all you sons of
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Bitches when I go ♪
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[ yodeling ]
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>> rusty: my turn.
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>> early: hell no.
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>> rusty: man, let me drive that
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Thing!
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>> early: do not touch the trim!
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>> early: [ chewing, slurping ]
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Mmm.
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Jerky's good.
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>> rusty: daddy, I-I'm startin'
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To feel a little hungry.
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>> early: again?!
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>> rusty: uh...
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Yes, sir.
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>> early: well, down there in
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Africa, they got little baby
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Young'erns a-starvin'.
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Why don't you do like 'em and
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Wait for somebody to "Please
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Help"?
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Mmm.
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>> rusty:
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>> early: oh!
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Just 'cause somebody else wants
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What you got, that means you
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Gotta have it?
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Hell, if the sheriff jumped off
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The sumbitchin' bridge, would
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You do it?
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Huh?
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>> rusty: is it the okaleechee
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Bridge?
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>> early: no.
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It's the lakahachee!
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>> sheriff: uh, this sport seems
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Just a little
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I don't think I care to do this.
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>> early: oh, come on, now!
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You got to dance like ain't
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Nobody watchin'!
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Geronimo!
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[ squish ]
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Oof!
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Damn it!
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>> sheriff: uh, we should jump.
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>> rusty: all right, then.
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I mean, I hate not to conform.
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Insensitive indian slur!
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>> sheriff: hey, hey!
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>> rusty: I ain't equipped to
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Think for myself.
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>> sheriff: me neither.
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Aah!
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[ both groan ]
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>> rusty: d-daddy, I-I'm still
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Hungry.
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>> sheriff: here, rusty.
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I think there's, uh, maybe some
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Mint dust in here.
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>> early: no!
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Only god almighty hisself will
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Provide for my boy.
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[ up-tempo rockabilly plays ]
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♪ god will provide, eat anything
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You find ♪
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♪ all you gotta do is live off
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The land ♪
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♪ if it's food that you're
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Cravin', look at all that amber
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Wavin'! ♪
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♪ it's all the grain a growin'
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Boy can stand ♪
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>> rusty: ♪ but, daddy, them are
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Weeds ♪
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>> granny: ♪ dumbass didn't
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Plant no seeds ♪
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>> early: ♪ I ain't too fond of
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Workin' with my hands ♪
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>> granny: ♪ so, what do we do
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Now? ♪
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>> early: ♪ strap granny to the
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Plow ♪
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♪ and irrigate the ground with
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The sweat of her wrinkly brow on
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Cuyler land! ♪
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>> granny: ow! Oh! Ohh! Ow!
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>> early: ♪ you want a fish fry?
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Then the fish they gotta die ♪
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♪ yank the plug at the bottom of
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The pond ♪
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>> granny: ♪ then you wait 30
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Years for the brim to reappear ♪
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>> early: ♪ bitch, you sass me,
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And you'll meet the great
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Beyond! ♪
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♪ if you're the one to kill it,
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Then you get to lick the
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Skillet ♪
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♪ just make sure you keep it on
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The spit ♪
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>> rusty: aah!
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>> early: ♪ so your tongue buds
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Are cauterized, and you are
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Authorized ♪
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♪ to have a heapin' bowl of
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Squirrel... ♪
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Split!
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You know, like a sundae.
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>> rusty: "Split" implies
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Bananas, and I don't see any of
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Those.
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>> granny: and this ain't cold.
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[ sniffs ]
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And smells.
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>> early: fine.
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That's more dessert for
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♪ this ballad ain't valid unless
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You got your salad ♪
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♪ nature's own all-you-can-eat
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Buffet ♪
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>> rusty: ♪ this here's a
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Salad-bar station ♪
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>> early: ♪ that's a suggested
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Donation ♪
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♪ that I'll be damned if
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I'm-a gonna pay ♪
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>> granny: are we still in the
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Field?
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>> early: ♪ I know that I
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Shouldn't, but I love banana
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Puddin' ♪
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♪ and mac and cheese as high as
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Your damn knee ♪
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>> granny: where are we?
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>> early: ♪ fresh maters and
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Taters, just don't look at the
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Waiter ♪
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♪ make a run for the door on
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"Three" ♪
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Three!
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Go, go, go!
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>> granny: there is a hair in
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This thousand island!
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Can I get comped on this, or
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What?
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>> early: ♪ nature gave us
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Dairy for all our culinary ♪
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♪ we got all the food that we
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Need ♪
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>> rusty: daddy, I ain't gettin'
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None.
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>> early: try the womern cow.
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>> rusty: I'm touchin' a cow's
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Dick!
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>> early: ♪ it's a free
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Meat-and-three manifest
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Destiny ♪
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♪ this land was made for you and
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Me-e-e-e ♪
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[ shotgun cocks ]
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>> rusty: but, daddy, this
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Our land.
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>> early: lower that barbed
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Wire -- right quickly!
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>> rusty: aah!
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D-daddy, this thing's -- ow!
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Daddy, this thing's a space
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Fence!
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Ow! It hurts!
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>> early: damn it!
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Now we gonna have to go through
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This damn gate.
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[ siren wails ]
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Aw, hell! The heat!
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>> sheriff: hold it right there.
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>> early: look out, son!
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The heat is amongst us!
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[ slam ]
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Aw, damn.
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>> sheriff: ♪ early, this time,
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You've crossed the line ♪
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>> early: this ain't no line,
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Boy.
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This here be a fence!
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>> rusty: ow!
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>> early: ♪ and it touches my
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Land, so I say it's half mine ♪
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>> sheriff: ♪ early, how could
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You steal from these god-fearin'
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Men? ♪
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>> rusty: hey, wait a minute,
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Now.
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♪ ain't that a crescent moon
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And a star? ♪
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>> uh, we're giving the old,
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Rugged cross a new spin.
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It's the
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It's very cool and modern, you
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Know.
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>> rusty: ♪ yeah, but ain't that
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A photo of osama bin -- ♪
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>> no, no, it's, uh,
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Kenny bin loggins -- "Highway to
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The danger zone."
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[ chuckles ]
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♪ so, please have a loaf of
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Our homemade bread ♪
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♪ and take your oil-eating beast
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And be on your way ♪
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♪ for soon, the beds of your ♪
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>> all: ♪ creeks will run
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Re-e-e-e-d ♪
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>> thank you for coming, and
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Have a nice day.
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>> early: mmm.
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>> sheriff: hmm.
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Uh...
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♪ sorry if I cast any doubt ♪
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♪ everything here...
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Seems to check out ♪
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[ engine turns over ]
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>> early: scoot over.
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I'm drivin'.
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>> sheriff: not till we get
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Around the corner.
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>> rusty: daddy, I-I understand
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The risk of sayin' this and all,
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But I need some...Food.
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>> early: damn it!
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Ain't you learned nothin' from
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That first song?
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♪ god will provide, eat
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Anything -- ♪
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>> no, no, no! Wait!
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P-please, let us take the
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Hungry, angry, suggestible young
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Man for -- for the afternoon.
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We are having marshmallow roast.
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[ dialing ]
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[ explosion ]
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>> rusty: d-daddy, can I stay?
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Daddy, I want to stay!
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Please, can I stay, daddy?
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>> early: whatever.
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Have a good'n.
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[ police radio chatter ]
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>> sheriff: well, uh, early, I'm
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Sure glad rusty found him some
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Playmates there, uh...
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Dangerously older than him.
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>> early: aw, ain't nothin'
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Gonna happen.
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He ain't very sexy with that
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Damn acne.
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Ain't nobody gonna get in line
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For a piece of that.
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[ bird chirps ]
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[ both screaming ]
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>> ♪ ain't it odd ♪
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♪ that a house of god ♪
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>> ♪ looks like a facade for
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Training death squads and
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Claiming jihad? ♪
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>> both: ♪ we're just sayin' ♪
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♪ ain't it odd? ♪
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>> sheriff: uh, you know, these
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Singin' birds have got kind of a
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Point, there.
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[ groans ]
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>> early: yep.
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Only two sources I trust --
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Glenn beck and singin' woodland
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Creatures.
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[ country music plays ]
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♪ listen to the animals for a
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Better understandin' ♪
287
00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:50,020
>> ♪ the holocaust was fake ♪
288
00:06:50,022 --> 00:06:52,024
>> ♪ so was the moon landing ♪
289
00:06:52,026 --> 00:06:54,011
>> ♪ now, what about obama
290
00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:56,028
And his birth certifi-gate? ♪
291
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,018
♪ he was born in hawaii,
292
00:06:58,020 --> 00:07:00,020
That ain't no goddern state ♪
293
00:07:00,022 --> 00:07:02,022
>> ♪ he was born in hawaii,
294
00:07:02,024 --> 00:07:04,028
That ain't no goddern state ♪
295
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000
>> ♪ lee harvey oswald did not
296
00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:08,024
Kill jfk ♪
297
00:07:08,026 --> 00:07:11,005
♪ he's a giant cyborg built by
298
00:07:11,007 --> 00:07:11,027
The cia ♪
299
00:07:11,029 --> 00:07:12,026
>>
300
00:07:12,028 --> 00:07:13,028
>> ♪ there's a government
301
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,000
Receiver implanted in your
302
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:16,020
Brain ♪
303
00:07:16,022 --> 00:07:18,005
>> early: ♪ I get my news from
304
00:07:18,007 --> 00:07:19,025
This beaver, so I know I ain't
305
00:07:19,027 --> 00:07:21,008
Insane! ♪
306
00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:23,002
>> ♪ listen to the animals if
307
00:07:23,004 --> 00:07:25,007
You wanna hear the truth ♪
308
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,029
>> ♪ we got a quarter horse
309
00:07:27,001 --> 00:07:28,003
Who ain't a puppet for the
310
00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:29,026
Jews ♪
311
00:07:29,028 --> 00:07:31,005
>> early: ♪ a little birdie told
312
00:07:31,007 --> 00:07:31,025
Me ♪
313
00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:33,008
>> ♪ that if someone gives you
314
00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,010
Aids ♪
315
00:07:34,012 --> 00:07:35,009
>> ♪ don't ever go to the
316
00:07:35,011 --> 00:07:35,029
Doctor ♪
317
00:07:36,001 --> 00:07:37,006
>> they're gonna shoot you
318
00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:38,022
Up with aids.
319
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,024
>> ♪ take your big money, go
320
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,023
Buy yourself a bunch of guns ♪
321
00:07:42,025 --> 00:07:44,019
♪ build a fortified compound
322
00:07:44,021 --> 00:07:45,021
For when the revenues come ♪
323
00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:46,016
>> sheriff: uh, early, I
324
00:07:46,018 --> 00:07:47,006
Wouldn't --
325
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,028
>> ♪ steal yourself an airplane,
326
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,023
Crash it into city hall ♪
327
00:07:50,025 --> 00:07:52,023
♪ leave a written manifesto,
328
00:07:52,025 --> 00:07:53,026
You're gonna educate 'em all ♪
329
00:07:53,028 --> 00:07:54,028
>> sheriff: early, I wouldn't
330
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,001
Trust any of these animals, to
331
00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:56,026
Tell you the truth.
332
00:07:56,028 --> 00:07:58,009
>> ♪ don't talk to no police ♪
333
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,020
>> ♪ they're working with the
334
00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,001
Government ♪
335
00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:03,002
>> ♪ everyone is out to get you,
336
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,002
You gotta kill 'em all dead ♪
337
00:08:05,004 --> 00:08:06,023
>> ♪ remember back when florida
338
00:08:06,025 --> 00:08:09,000
Had all them hangin' chads? ♪
339
00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:10,027
♪ shoulda been a damn recount ♪
340
00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:12,001
[ animals grumble ]
341
00:08:12,003 --> 00:08:12,021
What?
342
00:08:12,023 --> 00:08:14,019
Well, gore won the popular vote,
343
00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,010
And he shoulda had a recount, I
344
00:08:16,012 --> 00:08:17,000
Think.
345
00:08:17,002 --> 00:08:17,024
[ gunshot ]
346
00:08:17,026 --> 00:08:19,006
>> early: talkin' animals.
347
00:08:19,008 --> 00:08:20,027
That don't make no damn sense.
348
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,008
>> sheriff: well, all right,
349
00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:22,028
Early.
350
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,003
Puttin' in a pool, bud?
351
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,022
>> early: what we're doin' is
352
00:08:25,024 --> 00:08:27,008
Diggin' a liberty hole straight
353
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:28,017
To china.
354
00:08:28,019 --> 00:08:29,028
We attackin' from underneath!
355
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,002
>> dan halen: uh, yes.
356
00:08:31,004 --> 00:08:32,001
T-that's right.
357
00:08:32,003 --> 00:08:33,023
Let's get this yellow business
358
00:08:33,025 --> 00:08:35,007
Out of here so we can really
359
00:08:35,009 --> 00:08:36,029
Take it to those lead-peddling
360
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:37,026
Orientals but good.
361
00:08:37,028 --> 00:08:38,029
>> early: gonna get 'em in the
362
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:39,019
Feet!
363
00:08:39,021 --> 00:08:41,001
>> sheriff: uh, now, hold on a
364
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:42,021
Minute.
365
00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:45,006
[ smacks lips ]
366
00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:48,020
I have no idea what this is.
367
00:08:48,022 --> 00:08:49,014
[ smacks lips ]
368
00:08:49,016 --> 00:08:50,004
Yep.
369
00:08:50,006 --> 00:08:52,002
I-I don't recognize this at all.
370
00:08:52,004 --> 00:08:52,027
Y'all carry on.
371
00:08:52,029 --> 00:08:54,004
>> early: well, what the hell is
372
00:08:54,006 --> 00:08:54,024
It?
373
00:08:54,026 --> 00:08:58,011
>> granny: ♪ yellowcake ♪
374
00:08:58,013 --> 00:09:00,025
♪ my heart is aflutter ♪
375
00:09:00,027 --> 00:09:03,000
♪ I've found me a suitor ♪
376
00:09:03,002 --> 00:09:05,028
♪ a handsome young man is after
377
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,022
My cooter ♪
378
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:10,028
♪ I met him trolling on
379
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000
Hezbollah hotties ♪
380
00:09:13,002 --> 00:09:15,023
♪ when I posted shots of my hot,
381
00:09:15,025 --> 00:09:17,009
Nubile body ♪
382
00:09:17,011 --> 00:09:18,009
[ modem beeping ]
383
00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:20,025
>> ♪ it's for her alone that my
384
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,025
Lonely heart aches ♪
385
00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:25,004
♪ if she'll only share with me
386
00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:28,028
Her yellowcake ♪
387
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,021
>> both: ♪ yellowcake ♪
388
00:09:32,023 --> 00:09:33,025
>> granny: ♪ he wants me to
389
00:09:33,027 --> 00:09:36,023
Shield my face with a smock ♪
390
00:09:36,025 --> 00:09:39,018
♪ these wardrobe requirements
391
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:41,019
Play to my strengths ♪
392
00:09:41,021 --> 00:09:43,028
>> ♪ and I'll take her hand on a
393
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,026
Yellowcake walk ♪
394
00:09:45,028 --> 00:09:48,010
♪ as long as she stays behind
395
00:09:48,012 --> 00:09:52,007
Seven arm-lengths ♪
396
00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:57,003
>> granny: ♪ he said I would
397
00:09:57,005 --> 00:09:59,020
Know him by his good hooks ♪
398
00:09:59,022 --> 00:10:01,024
>> ♪ my hands were cut off for
399
00:10:01,026 --> 00:10:03,021
Reading that "Da vinci code"
400
00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:04,019
Book ♪
401
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,029
>> granny: ♪ and we will swap
402
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:09,020
Spit when I lift up my veil ♪
403
00:10:09,022 --> 00:10:10,022
>> [ gags ]
404
00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:12,000
>> granny: [ slurps ]
405
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,010
>> both: ♪ but first we'll
406
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,002
Conduct ♪
407
00:10:16,004 --> 00:10:22,002
♪ this yellowcake sa-a-a-a-le ♪
408
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:25,010
>> granny: aah! Oh!
409
00:10:25,012 --> 00:10:26,019
Well, what do we got --
410
00:10:26,021 --> 00:10:27,028
Ooh, you brought your friend!
411
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:28,018
>> o-okay.
412
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:30,000
L-let's keep it above the waist.
413
00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:30,024
>> granny: oh.
414
00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:31,029
>> is that the yellowcake?
415
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:33,004
>> granny: that can wait.
416
00:10:33,006 --> 00:10:34,011
Let's get to know each other
417
00:10:34,013 --> 00:10:35,001
Better.
418
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:35,021
>> uh...
419
00:10:35,023 --> 00:10:37,007
>> granny: I understand you come
420
00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:38,010
From a large family.
421
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,007
>> I have 17 wives.
422
00:10:39,009 --> 00:10:40,012
Look, I-I don't think this is
423
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,005
Gonna work out.
424
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,010
We're not clicking, you know?
425
00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:43,002
>> granny: no!
426
00:10:43,004 --> 00:10:44,001
>> I-I need my space.
427
00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:45,002
>> granny: come back, sheiky!
428
00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:47,004
>> I'm gay, I think, right now.
429
00:10:47,006 --> 00:10:49,001
>> granny: [ speaking arabic ]
430
00:10:53,005 --> 00:10:55,005
[ crying ]
431
00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:57,023
>> early: you dumb bitch!
432
00:10:57,025 --> 00:10:59,002
You been tryin' to knock your
433
00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:00,009
Damn boots with the al-qaedas!
434
00:11:00,011 --> 00:11:01,026
>> granny: at least
435
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:04,017
To treat a lady with disrespect.
436
00:11:04,019 --> 00:11:06,006
>> I-I hate to interrupt, but
437
00:11:06,008 --> 00:11:07,022
Your land's covered in
438
00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:09,009
Radioactive uranium ore.
439
00:11:09,011 --> 00:11:10,026
>> sheriff: aw, hell.
440
00:11:10,028 --> 00:11:12,007
I put that in my mouth.
441
00:11:12,009 --> 00:11:13,001
[ spits ]
442
00:11:13,003 --> 00:11:15,000
>> why is it your first instinct
443
00:11:15,002 --> 00:11:15,029
To taste everything?
444
00:11:16,001 --> 00:11:17,006
>> sheriff: look, what I think
445
00:11:17,008 --> 00:11:18,019
Denny's tryin' to say is that
446
00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:19,025
These al-qaedas put all this
447
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:21,021
Yellow stuff all over your land.
448
00:11:21,023 --> 00:11:23,001
>> nope. Mnh-mnh.
449
00:11:23,003 --> 00:11:24,024
>> sheriff: uh...Want to take it
450
00:11:25,025 --> 00:11:26,022
>> there you go.
451
00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:28,007
>> sheriff: so they can use it
452
00:11:28,009 --> 00:11:30,011
To invade alabama.
453
00:11:31,026 --> 00:11:33,003
>> no, definitely not that.
454
00:11:33,005 --> 00:11:34,021
>> sheriff: but then why?
455
00:11:34,023 --> 00:11:36,008
>> yellowcake is concentrated
456
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:38,002
Uranium oxide obtained through
457
00:11:38,004 --> 00:11:39,022
The millin' of uranium ore.
458
00:11:39,024 --> 00:11:41,008
It's all they need to create a
459
00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:43,000
Nuclear bomb!
460
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:45,011
>> early: for the alabama
461
00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:46,020
Thing, right?
462
00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:49,010
>> brothers, our destiny has
463
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,009
Arrived.
464
00:11:50,011 --> 00:11:52,009
I give you....
465
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:55,012
The yellowcake!
466
00:11:56,028 --> 00:11:58,002
>> early: aw, hell, granny!
467
00:11:58,004 --> 00:11:59,004
You done give away that titty
468
00:11:59,006 --> 00:11:59,024
Cake?!
469
00:11:59,026 --> 00:12:01,004
>> granny: I got it half-off at
470
00:12:01,006 --> 00:12:02,020
The erotic bakery 'cause it had
471
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,004
A rat pelvis in the frostin'.
472
00:12:05,006 --> 00:12:07,022
>> do not despair, my brothers.
473
00:12:07,024 --> 00:12:09,009
We have another connection to
474
00:12:09,011 --> 00:12:12,007
The yellowcake.
475
00:12:12,009 --> 00:12:14,008
>> rusty: I like cake.
476
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:16,022
What y'all lookin' at?
477
00:12:16,024 --> 00:12:17,027
Hey, let me have that rat
478
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:20,013
Pelvis.
479
00:12:28,024 --> 00:12:30,008
>> rusty: mmm.
480
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,016
So, there really is somethin'
481
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,018
Called "Chicken" that you can
482
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,008
Eat.
483
00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:34,018
I was told it was made up by the
484
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,012
Liberal media.
485
00:12:35,014 --> 00:12:36,018
>> hey, man, you like video
486
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:37,009
Games, man?
487
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:38,012
>> rusty: oh, all right.
488
00:12:38,014 --> 00:12:39,021
>> it's called "Bejeweled," eh?
489
00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:41,001
It's a new thing that came out.
490
00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:41,021
I like it.
491
00:12:41,023 --> 00:12:42,022
This is the joystick.
492
00:12:42,024 --> 00:12:43,015
[ gun cocks ]
493
00:12:43,017 --> 00:12:44,022
Point and click and you aim.
494
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:46,000
>> rusty: at that man right over
495
00:12:46,002 --> 00:12:46,020
There?
496
00:12:46,022 --> 00:12:47,018
>> yeah, shoot me!
497
00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:48,028
Just stay away from the crotch
498
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:49,019
Area, man.
499
00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,009
I'm about to get real busy, man.
500
00:12:51,011 --> 00:12:52,012
>> unh-unh-unh-unh-unh.
501
00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:53,022
You don't get the virgins unless
502
00:12:53,024 --> 00:12:54,025
You take others with you.
503
00:12:54,027 --> 00:12:55,028
>> wait! That's not fair!
504
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,023
You can't change the rules --
505
00:12:58,025 --> 00:13:00,016
>> rusty: that seemed wrong.
506
00:13:00,018 --> 00:13:02,000
>> rusty, buddy, come here.
507
00:13:02,002 --> 00:13:03,023
You must understand -- growing
508
00:13:03,025 --> 00:13:05,001
Up is all about taking
509
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,000
Responsibility.
510
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,011
And claiming it.
511
00:13:08,013 --> 00:13:09,010
[ country music plays ]
512
00:13:09,012 --> 00:13:10,021
[ clears throat ]
513
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,025
>> ♪ would you find it so
514
00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:13,004
Alarming that we started global
515
00:13:13,006 --> 00:13:13,024
Warming? ♪
516
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,010
♪ well, we did it ♪
517
00:13:15,012 --> 00:13:16,022
♪ we really hate to brag, but
518
00:13:16,024 --> 00:13:18,011
Your girlfriend's on the rag ♪
519
00:13:18,013 --> 00:13:20,008
♪ because we did it ♪
520
00:13:20,010 --> 00:13:22,025
♪ swine flu was our creation ♪
521
00:13:22,027 --> 00:13:26,000
♪ to eradicate the nation of the
522
00:13:26,002 --> 00:13:27,001
Yiddish ♪
523
00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:28,018
>> ♪ that's the jews ♪
524
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:30,014
♪ it was us that did it ♪
525
00:13:30,016 --> 00:13:31,029
♪ if your in-box is crammed with
526
00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:33,014
Increase-your-penis scam ♪
527
00:13:33,016 --> 00:13:35,000
♪ it was us that did it ♪
528
00:13:35,002 --> 00:13:36,012
♪ when you're walkin' down the
529
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:38,011
Road and you feel a heavy load ♪
530
00:13:38,013 --> 00:13:39,010
♪ diarrhea -- ♪
531
00:13:39,012 --> 00:13:40,020
>> excuse me! No! No!
532
00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:42,017
I am not going to take credit
533
00:13:42,019 --> 00:13:44,020
For global diarrhea.
534
00:13:46,013 --> 00:13:48,016
>> ♪ we did it ♪
535
00:13:48,018 --> 00:13:49,026
♪ you must fake it till you make
536
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,029
It, so the credit, we will take
537
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:51,019
It ♪
538
00:13:51,021 --> 00:13:52,027
♪ before you grow up, you must
539
00:13:52,029 --> 00:13:53,018
Blow up ♪
540
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:55,002
♪ the virgins wait for you to
541
00:13:55,004 --> 00:13:56,012
Show up ♪
542
00:13:56,014 --> 00:13:57,022
♪ so douse yourself in
543
00:13:57,024 --> 00:13:59,011
Gasoline ♪
544
00:13:59,013 --> 00:14:00,021
♪ find a crowded mezzanine -- ♪
545
00:14:00,023 --> 00:14:01,024
>> rusty: h-hold on a second!
546
00:14:01,026 --> 00:14:02,029
H-hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
547
00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:04,013
What did you mean about all that
548
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:05,018
"Before you grow up, you must
549
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,016
Blow up" stuff?
550
00:14:06,018 --> 00:14:07,025
>> don't listen to the words.
551
00:14:07,027 --> 00:14:09,002
Just dance to it.
552
00:14:09,004 --> 00:14:11,013
>> sheriff: early, take a peek
553
00:14:11,015 --> 00:14:12,011
At rusty over there.
554
00:14:12,013 --> 00:14:13,001
>> early: who, now?
555
00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:13,029
>> sheriff: your son.
556
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:15,002
Your only son.
557
00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,029
Look -- they got him kneelin'
558
00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:18,018
Toward watkinsville.
559
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,000
>> yeah, I think that's mecca.
560
00:14:20,002 --> 00:14:21,016
>> sheriff: well, watkinsville
561
00:14:21,018 --> 00:14:22,016
Is over there, too.
562
00:14:22,018 --> 00:14:23,006
>> naw.
563
00:14:23,008 --> 00:14:24,009
>> sheriff: a-and look at his
564
00:14:24,011 --> 00:14:25,014
Dress and demeanor.
565
00:14:25,016 --> 00:14:26,022
He's clearly on drugs.
566
00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:27,013
>> early: rusty!
567
00:14:27,015 --> 00:14:28,014
You got drugs on you, boy?!
568
00:14:28,016 --> 00:14:29,012
>> sheriff: shh! Cut it --
569
00:14:29,014 --> 00:14:30,015
>> early: you holdin' out on me,
570
00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:31,009
You son of a bitch?!
571
00:14:31,011 --> 00:14:31,029
>> sheriff: s-shut up.
572
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,000
>> early: [ muffled yelling ]
573
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,000
>> sheriff: aw, hell, early.
574
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:34,022
Talk to the boy.
575
00:14:34,024 --> 00:14:35,020
>> early: why should I hang out
576
00:14:35,022 --> 00:14:36,010
With him?
577
00:14:36,012 --> 00:14:37,000
He ain't got no drugs.
578
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,002
>> sheriff: let him know you're
579
00:14:38,004 --> 00:14:38,022
There for him.
580
00:14:38,024 --> 00:14:39,018
>> early: [ sniffles ]
581
00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:42,017
It's too late, ain't it?
582
00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:44,018
They grow up so fast.
583
00:14:44,020 --> 00:14:46,008
We really let him down, didn't
584
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:46,029
We?
585
00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,009
>> sheriff: "We"?
586
00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:49,023
>> early: well, "They."
587
00:14:49,025 --> 00:14:51,010
Sumbitchin' jackyl!
588
00:14:51,012 --> 00:14:53,013
What kind of father were they?
589
00:14:53,015 --> 00:14:54,025
>> sheriff: you pawned rusty off
590
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,025
On that band jackyl?
591
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,009
>> early: [ voice breaking ]
592
00:14:57,011 --> 00:14:58,018
Durin' the formative years.
593
00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,000
>> sheriff: that chainsaw-guitar
594
00:15:00,002 --> 00:15:00,025
Guy?
595
00:15:00,027 --> 00:15:01,019
>> early: [ sniffles ]
596
00:15:01,021 --> 00:15:02,009
Yeah.
597
00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:02,029
>> sheriff: early.
598
00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:04,013
>> early: I did what
599
00:15:04,015 --> 00:15:05,027
Would do!
600
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,021
I turned the boy over to a band
601
00:15:07,023 --> 00:15:09,014
Of travelin' musicians durin' a
602
00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:10,016
Summer tour.
603
00:15:10,018 --> 00:15:11,018
[ crying ]
604
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:14,010
It was all I was willin' to do!
605
00:15:14,012 --> 00:15:15,015
[ hard-rock music plays ]
606
00:15:15,017 --> 00:15:16,026
>> ♪ we made sure you cleaned
607
00:15:16,028 --> 00:15:19,000
Your plate and immunized you up
608
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:19,023
To date ♪
609
00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:21,013
♪ we signed you up to learn
610
00:15:21,015 --> 00:15:23,010
Karate and trained you to sit on
611
00:15:23,012 --> 00:15:24,000
The potty ♪
612
00:15:24,002 --> 00:15:25,017
♪ we taught you how to turn the
613
00:15:25,019 --> 00:15:26,007
Other cheek ♪
614
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:26,029
>> rusty: kiss my emerald --
615
00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:27,027
N-no! Don't do it! No! No!
616
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:29,014
>> ♪ and we played "I stand
617
00:15:29,016 --> 00:15:30,028
Alone" till you fell asleep ♪
618
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:31,028
[ chainsaw revs ]
619
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:32,024
>> ♪ why you feel? ♪
620
00:15:32,026 --> 00:15:33,027
>> rusty: hey, man, y'all just
621
00:15:33,029 --> 00:15:34,022
Chill out on that chainsaw
622
00:15:34,024 --> 00:15:35,013
Thing.
623
00:15:35,015 --> 00:15:36,019
I'm tryin' to sleep over here.
624
00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:38,000
>> ♪ we showed you how to run
625
00:15:38,002 --> 00:15:39,026
The board whenever we play
626
00:15:39,028 --> 00:15:40,018
Live ♪
627
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:41,028
♪ for that gig in lawrence,
628
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,003
Kansas, we taught you how to
629
00:15:44,005 --> 00:15:44,023
Drive ♪
630
00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,016
[ truck horn blares ]
631
00:15:45,018 --> 00:15:48,001
>> rusty: aaaah! Aaah!
632
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:49,016
>> ♪ we paid for eight years of
633
00:15:49,018 --> 00:15:52,000
Lessons on keyboards ♪
634
00:15:52,002 --> 00:15:53,012
♪ so I could smoke a little
635
00:15:53,014 --> 00:15:55,009
Mother nature, yeah, before the
636
00:15:55,011 --> 00:15:55,029
First encore ♪
637
00:15:56,001 --> 00:15:56,025
>> [ coughing ]
638
00:15:56,027 --> 00:15:58,003
>> rusty: where do babies come
639
00:15:58,005 --> 00:15:58,023
From?
640
00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:00,003
>> ♪ well, I'm glad you asked me
641
00:16:00,005 --> 00:16:00,023
That, son ♪
642
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:01,029
♪ grab that groupie off of
643
00:16:02,001 --> 00:16:03,024
Willy, and we'll show you how
644
00:16:03,026 --> 00:16:07,015
It's done ♪
645
00:16:07,017 --> 00:16:09,000
>> the ejaculate leaves the
646
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,022
Penis, and that fluid is called
647
00:16:10,024 --> 00:16:11,012
"Semen."
648
00:16:11,014 --> 00:16:12,019
>> rusty: but does roman have to
649
00:16:12,021 --> 00:16:13,009
Be here?
650
00:16:13,011 --> 00:16:14,014
>> hell, man, that's called
651
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,016
"Double-teamin'."
652
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:21,026
[ door opens ]
653
00:16:21,028 --> 00:16:22,022
>> rusty: hey, daddy.
654
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,022
>> early: rusty.
655
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,000
I've missed you so!
656
00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:26,009
Uh, is that chicken?
657
00:16:26,011 --> 00:16:27,009
Get on over here!
658
00:16:27,011 --> 00:16:28,018
>> granny: ronnie milsap's
659
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,009
Roasters?
660
00:16:29,011 --> 00:16:29,029
Get away!
661
00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:31,023
>> early: blinded by flavor!
662
00:16:31,025 --> 00:16:33,015
>> sheriff: wait a minute.
663
00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:35,013
This jacket's filled with fake
664
00:16:35,015 --> 00:16:36,021
Dynamite.
665
00:16:36,023 --> 00:16:37,027
Filled with drugs!
666
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,011
>> don't put it in your mou--
667
00:16:39,013 --> 00:16:40,018
Aw, come on, man!
668
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:42,017
>> sheriff: yep. Tastes bad.
669
00:16:42,019 --> 00:16:43,023
>> 'cause it's real dynamite!
670
00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:44,023
>> sheriff: the hell?!
671
00:16:44,025 --> 00:16:45,020
>> rusty: aw, man!
672
00:16:45,022 --> 00:16:46,020
>> sheriff: I put that in my
673
00:16:46,022 --> 00:16:47,011
Mouth!
674
00:16:47,013 --> 00:16:48,006
>> the boy's wearin' a hurt
675
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:48,026
Jacket!
676
00:16:48,028 --> 00:16:49,024
Clear the perimeter!
677
00:16:49,026 --> 00:16:51,009
>> sheriff: clear the perimeter!
678
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:54,018
Everybody, get back now!
679
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:55,019
>> early: mmm.
680
00:16:55,021 --> 00:16:57,013
[ smacks lips ]
681
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:58,026
So, how's your new school goin'?
682
00:16:58,028 --> 00:17:00,003
>> granny: pass me a thigh.
683
00:17:00,005 --> 00:17:01,017
>> rusty: we supposed to have a
684
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,025
Class tomorrow about keepin'
685
00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:04,009
Women in their place and all,
686
00:17:04,011 --> 00:17:05,016
But I guess I'll be absent.
687
00:17:05,018 --> 00:17:06,024
>> early: hell, I
688
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,024
Than they ever knowed about
689
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,014
That.
690
00:17:08,016 --> 00:17:09,011
Watch this. Granny!
691
00:17:09,013 --> 00:17:10,001
>> granny: hm?
692
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:11,000
>> early: drop that wrinkle
693
00:17:11,002 --> 00:17:12,008
Sheet you call a face down there
694
00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:12,028
And put your nose on that
695
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:13,018
Knothole.
696
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,008
Right now!
697
00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:15,009
>> granny: all right.
698
00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:15,029
>> early: whoo!
699
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,012
I am in control, baby!
700
00:17:17,014 --> 00:17:18,023
This makes me feel like a
701
00:17:18,025 --> 00:17:19,019
Big-ass man!
702
00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:21,011
>> granny: wait -- had you said
703
00:17:21,013 --> 00:17:23,027
Somethin' about dynamite?
704
00:17:23,029 --> 00:17:24,025
>> sheriff: all right.
705
00:17:24,027 --> 00:17:26,018
Which wire? Which wire?
706
00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:28,020
Red, black. Red, black.
707
00:17:28,022 --> 00:17:30,011
Damn. Which wire?
708
00:17:30,013 --> 00:17:31,014
>> early:
709
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:32,010
[ engine turns over ]
710
00:17:32,012 --> 00:17:33,010
>> rusty: daddy, daddy! No!
711
00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:34,005
>> early: we'll see you on the
712
00:17:34,007 --> 00:17:34,025
Flip!
713
00:17:34,027 --> 00:17:35,021
>> rusty: daddy, don't do it!
714
00:17:35,023 --> 00:17:36,012
No! No-o-o-o-o!
715
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,017
>> early: the chicken was good!
716
00:17:37,019 --> 00:17:39,019
>> rusty: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
717
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,007
>> granny: that was a close one.
718
00:17:45,009 --> 00:17:46,013
>> early: ♪ hell yeah! ♪
719
00:17:46,015 --> 00:17:48,027
♪ democracy wins again ♪
720
00:17:48,029 --> 00:17:51,021
♪ let freedom ring ♪
721
00:17:51,023 --> 00:17:53,015
♪ and all the young'erns of the
722
00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:57,025
World will hold hands and sing ♪
723
00:17:57,027 --> 00:17:58,017
♪ hell yeah! ♪
724
00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,010
>> sheriff: early.
725
00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:00,005
>> early: ♪ al-qaeda's on the
726
00:18:00,007 --> 00:18:00,025
Run, baby! ♪
727
00:18:00,027 --> 00:18:01,022
>> sheriff: early. Early!
728
00:18:01,024 --> 00:18:03,001
Knock it off!
729
00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:03,024
Stop singin'!
730
00:18:03,026 --> 00:18:04,027
Look -- they're comin'!
731
00:18:04,029 --> 00:18:05,019
>> aw, hell.
732
00:18:05,021 --> 00:18:06,019
>> sheriff: come on!
733
00:18:06,021 --> 00:18:07,020
Let's get outta here!
734
00:18:07,022 --> 00:18:09,001
>> early: I ain't a-backin' off
735
00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:09,023
This land...
736
00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:10,015
[ shotgun cocks ]
737
00:18:10,017 --> 00:18:13,011
...No way, no how, nowhere.
738
00:18:13,013 --> 00:18:14,015
>> sheriff: yeah, well, you
739
00:18:14,017 --> 00:18:15,018
Gonna need a little help.
740
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:16,024
I called the drive-by truckers.
741
00:18:16,026 --> 00:18:17,021
>> early: damn it!
742
00:18:17,023 --> 00:18:18,028
I'm conductin' an ass-whuppin',
743
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,006
Not compilin' a
744
00:18:20,008 --> 00:18:20,026
"Best of" list!
745
00:18:20,028 --> 00:18:22,007
>> sheriff: well, I just thought
746
00:18:22,009 --> 00:18:22,027
They could --
747
00:18:22,029 --> 00:18:24,013
>> thought they could
748
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,020
>> sheriff: I don't know.
749
00:18:25,022 --> 00:18:26,027
I-I mean, they play guitar.
750
00:18:26,029 --> 00:18:27,017
I-I --
751
00:18:27,019 --> 00:18:29,008
>> and you call 'em all the way
752
00:18:29,010 --> 00:18:30,016
Up here to sign your wish book.
753
00:18:30,018 --> 00:18:31,020
>> sheriff: don't you start
754
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,010
With me.
755
00:18:32,012 --> 00:18:33,010
I collect autographs.
756
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,000
That's
757
00:18:34,002 --> 00:18:35,014
I don't judge you for all them
758
00:18:35,016 --> 00:18:36,013
Books you read.
759
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,029
>> early: ♪ I don't need yours
760
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:39,016
Or them drive-by truckers'
761
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,008
Help ♪
762
00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:42,018
♪ I'll take on them damn
763
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:46,011
Al-qaedas all by myself ♪
764
00:18:46,013 --> 00:18:48,007
♪ yeah, they gonna get some damn
765
00:18:48,009 --> 00:18:51,015
Blood for their oil ♪
766
00:18:51,017 --> 00:18:52,023
♪ them sumbitches ain't gonna
767
00:18:52,025 --> 00:18:56,000
Set foot on cuyler soil! ♪
768
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:56,026
Hell naw!
769
00:18:56,028 --> 00:18:59,014
>> ♪ for this land ♪
770
00:18:59,016 --> 00:19:00,025
>> early: ♪ I've shot and
771
00:19:00,027 --> 00:19:01,029
Cleaned and dressed ♪
772
00:19:02,001 --> 00:19:03,023
>> ♪ for this land ♪
773
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:04,020
>> early: ♪ yeah!
774
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:07,010
37 jehovah's witnesses ♪
775
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:10,010
>> ♪ for this land ♪
776
00:19:10,012 --> 00:19:11,019
>> early: ♪ my satellite-service
777
00:19:11,021 --> 00:19:12,013
Provider ♪
778
00:19:12,015 --> 00:19:13,020
>> ♪ for this land ♪
779
00:19:13,022 --> 00:19:14,026
>> early: [ laughs ]
780
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:17,001
♪ I set his ass on fire! ♪
781
00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:17,024
Whoo! Yeah!
782
00:19:17,026 --> 00:19:18,026
>> ♪ for this land ♪
783
00:19:18,028 --> 00:19:20,016
>> early: [ howling ]
784
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:21,025
♪ you don't cross this here
785
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,019
River ♪
786
00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:23,026
>> ♪ for this land ♪
787
00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:24,024
>> early: whoo!
788
00:19:24,026 --> 00:19:27,013
♪ if it's a pizza, you deliver ♪
789
00:19:27,015 --> 00:19:28,007
Whoo!
790
00:19:28,009 --> 00:19:29,024
>> ♪ for this land ♪
791
00:19:29,026 --> 00:19:30,026
>> early: ♪ hey, reverend, you
792
00:19:30,028 --> 00:19:32,021
Like to drop off them fliers? ♪
793
00:19:32,023 --> 00:19:34,025
>> ♪ for this land ♪
794
00:19:34,027 --> 00:19:36,009
>> early: ♪ I got news, baby,
795
00:19:36,011 --> 00:19:38,009
You about to be retired ♪
796
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,020
♪ so, I'll be damned if you're
797
00:19:40,022 --> 00:19:42,023
Gonna back me off ♪
798
00:19:42,025 --> 00:19:50,010
♪ of this la-a-a-a-nd! ♪
799
00:19:51,017 --> 00:19:52,014
>> ♪ for three grand ♪
800
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,017
>> early: you talkin' about all
801
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:54,007
This land?
802
00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:55,000
>> ♪ for three grand ♪
803
00:19:55,002 --> 00:19:56,005
>> early: and you gonna pay me
804
00:19:56,007 --> 00:19:56,025
Three grand?
805
00:19:56,027 --> 00:19:57,023
>> ♪ for three grand ♪
806
00:19:57,025 --> 00:19:58,023
>> early: you'll buy it for
807
00:19:58,025 --> 00:19:59,013
$3,000?
808
00:19:59,015 --> 00:20:00,009
>> ♪ for three grand ♪
809
00:20:00,011 --> 00:20:00,029
>> early: whoo-hoo!
810
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,001
Baby, listen to me holler!
811
00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:03,000
>> ♪ for three grand ♪
812
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,010
>> early: ♪ let me shake that
813
00:20:04,012 --> 00:20:06,028
Hand, and I'll sell you all this
814
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,016
Land ♪
815
00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:14,013
♪ for three grand ♪
816
00:20:14,015 --> 00:20:15,019
Come on, y'all! Pack up!
817
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:16,011
We movin'!
818
00:20:16,013 --> 00:20:17,022
>> granny: now, if the toilet
819
00:20:17,024 --> 00:20:19,012
Backs up, we ain't got no toilet
820
00:20:19,014 --> 00:20:20,025
And you just crapped in a chair.
821
00:20:20,027 --> 00:20:22,009
>> early: come on, granny!
822
00:20:22,011 --> 00:20:23,016
>> wait -- where is the
823
00:20:23,018 --> 00:20:24,009
Yellowcake?
824
00:20:24,011 --> 00:20:25,015
>> it's gone!
825
00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:26,020
>> well, what the hell are we
826
00:20:26,022 --> 00:20:27,027
Supposed to do with this land?
827
00:20:27,029 --> 00:20:29,006
>> early: [ clears throat ]
828
00:20:29,008 --> 00:20:30,002
♪ god will provide, eat
829
00:20:30,004 --> 00:20:30,022
Anything -- ♪
830
00:20:30,024 --> 00:20:31,024
>> sheriff: early, early,
831
00:20:31,026 --> 00:20:32,014
Please -- stop.
832
00:20:32,016 --> 00:20:33,004
>> yeah.
833
00:20:33,006 --> 00:20:34,012
>> sheriff: well, you know, you
834
00:20:34,014 --> 00:20:36,015
Could always, uh...
835
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,016
Invade alabama.
836
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,009
>> we could invade alabama.
837
00:20:39,011 --> 00:20:40,024
>> no, no, no -- no alabama.
838
00:20:40,026 --> 00:20:42,023
>> I just need a little restroom
839
00:20:42,025 --> 00:20:43,028
Break, and then I'm ready.
840
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,002
>> early: how about you be
841
00:20:45,004 --> 00:20:45,022
American?
842
00:20:45,024 --> 00:20:46,029
We the number-one country on
843
00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:47,021
This planet.
844
00:20:47,023 --> 00:20:49,008
♪ hell yeah! ♪
845
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:50,011
♪ democracy wins again! ♪
846
00:20:50,013 --> 00:20:51,014
>> sheriff: early, early,
847
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,008
Please -- stop.
848
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:53,016
>> early: bein' american is the
849
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,007
Thing to do.
850
00:20:54,009 --> 00:20:55,015
That way, you could help us get
851
00:20:55,017 --> 00:20:56,020
Rid of all the immigrants.
852
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,000
>> sheriff: america is the land
853
00:20:58,002 --> 00:20:59,006
Of opportunity, if it ain't
854
00:20:59,008 --> 00:20:59,026
Nothin' else.
855
00:20:59,028 --> 00:21:00,019
>> really?
856
00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:02,000
>> sheriff: the possibilities
857
00:21:02,002 --> 00:21:04,021
Are endless.
858
00:21:04,023 --> 00:21:06,016
>> it's always a great day at
859
00:21:06,018 --> 00:21:09,020
The ronnie milsap's filet.
860
00:21:09,022 --> 00:21:10,010
Hi.
861
00:21:10,012 --> 00:21:11,024
Have you tried our macadamia-nut
862
00:21:11,026 --> 00:21:14,013
Brown--
863
00:21:14,015 --> 00:21:15,012
[ door chimes jingle ]
864
00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:16,020
Never mind.
865
00:21:16,022 --> 00:21:17,023
>> ♪ for this land ♪
866
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,018
>> ♪ we fought indians,
867
00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:19,025
We fought russians ♪
868
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:22,000
♪ we gave 'em all concussions ♪
869
00:21:22,002 --> 00:21:23,013
>> ♪ we fought whites
870
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:25,007
And we fought the tribbles ♪
871
00:21:25,009 --> 00:21:26,015
♪ we ain't afraid to start
872
00:21:26,017 --> 00:21:28,007
No quibble ♪
873
00:21:28,009 --> 00:21:29,011
>> ♪ three grand ♪
874
00:21:29,013 --> 00:21:30,023
>> ♪ let me shake that hand ♪
875
00:21:30,025 --> 00:21:33,010
♪ I'll sell you all this land ♪
876
00:21:33,012 --> 00:21:38,006
♪ for three grand ♪
877
00:21:38,008 --> 00:21:43,005
♪ for threeeee grand ♪
878
00:21:43,007 --> 00:21:47,024
♪ for threeeee graaaand ♪
879
00:21:47,026 --> 00:21:49,013
♪ whooo! ♪
880
00:21:49,015 --> 00:21:54,026
>> ♪ for three grand ♪
881
00:21:54,028 --> 00:21:58,015
♪ for three grand ♪
55003
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