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[ static ]
[ country music plays ]
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>> ♪ my dreams are all dead and
Buried ♪
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♪ sometimes I wish the sun would
Just explode ♪
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♪ when god comes and calls me to
His kingdom ♪
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♪ I'll take all you sons of
Bitches when I go ♪
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♪ you sons of bitches
>> rusty: my turn.
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>> early: hell no.
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>> rusty: man, let me drive that
Thing!
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>> early: do not touch the trim!
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>> lil: [ coughs ]
Hey, baby, you wanna party?
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[ chuckles ]
>> yeah, we -- we
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In fact, this is my son -- son's
Birthday party.
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[ clears throat ]
If you'll excuse me.
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>> lil: I got some candy in this
Piñata.
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[ laughs ]
>> early: damn it!
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I said, "No way, no how is no
Cuyler woman ever gonna
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Prostitutalize herself at no
Youngern's birthday party."
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Cuyler womerns hook at the truck
Stop.
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And don't nobody here forget it!
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>> granny: oh, those truck-stop
Pros were uppity trannies.
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Plus, the cost of diesel's
Dryin' up the trucker money.
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>> lil: yep.
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It's a race to the bottom.
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>> early: don't y'all be blamin'
This on no marketational forces.
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[ horn honks ]
>> hey, where's that birthday
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Boy?
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>> granny: mm.
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You sure that's what you're
Lookin' for, sugar?
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>> uh...
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>> granny: how 'bout you let me
Twist up that big ol' balloon of
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Yours?
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>> uh, no, I'm just here for --
[ zap ]
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[ grunts ]
>> granny: ohh.
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He was hot enough for a freebie.
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>> early: ain't no carnival
Clown gonna touch a cuyler
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Without payin' truck-stop
Prices!
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>> rusty: oh, my god, daddy.
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You did it! You did it, daddy!
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Oh, yeah!
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I'm-a get clowny now, boy!
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Daddy, you are the best!
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>> early: yeah...
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I am the best.
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>> rusty: [ grunting ]
>> granny: you did not raise
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This boy right.
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>> early: yeah, how about takin'
It easy on that clown body, son?
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Let's let the dead have they
Rest.
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>> rusty: this is awesome!
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Now I ain't gotta buy no clown
Makeup.
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I'm a clowny freak, y'all!
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>> lil: oh, crap.
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Not those yahoos.
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>> early: and what is a clowny
Freak?
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>> lil: oh, it's some dumb-ass
Rap band that dresses like
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Clowns.
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Fans are mostly trailer-park
Nerds.
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>> rusty: hey, listen to me,
Now, dag gummit.
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You're steppin' up to satan's
Big top now.
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Don't make me unleash the power
Of the clowny daggers.
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And lift up your shirt, woman.
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>> early: hell, she ain't wore a
Shirt since '89.
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What'd you think these were?
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>> rusty: a big ol' floppy chin?
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>> lil: [ laughs ]
I get that sometimes.
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>> early: well, looks like these
Clowny folks sure has helped
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Your confidence, demandin' a
Titty flash like you done.
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Good for you, boy.
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>> rusty: thanks, daddy.
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Clowny daggers, daddy!
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>> rusty: yep.
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Cloudy what's and such.
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>> announcer: crap yourself!
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This weekend, it's the one and
Motherforkin' only festival of
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The clowny freak.
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Come on down to the
Dougal county airfield for
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Competitive keg sucking,
Wrestling on tacks, donkey
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Rides, slappin' at butts, a guy
Who makes puppets have sex, yo
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Mama -- ha ha -- an actual
Murderer, balloons for the kids,
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17 stages of horror rap,
Chopped-up meat byproducts that
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Look twisted as hell, plus, a
Special surprise guest.
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>> no, I won't be there, dawgs,
But y'all should chillax by the
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Merch tent.
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Make it rain, bitches.
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Okay. We got that?
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[ dial tone ]
>> announcer: and it's all this
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Sunday.
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Clowny daggers, y'all.
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>> rusty: clowny daggers!
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>> granny: ooh! It's the devil!
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You got me pinned with your
Devil claws.
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Hurry up and sodomize me.
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Ooh! I hate it!
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>> rusty: uh...Granny?
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>> granny: I will bear your
Satan baby on earth, and we're
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Gonna name him damien, 'cause I
Always thought that was such a
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Pretty name.
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>> rusty: granny!
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>> granny: is it true what they
Say?
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You got a goat horn on your
Donger?
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>> rusty: uh, granny --
>> granny: I can take it.
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I just wanna know what I'm in
For.
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>> early: no, you dust-fartin'
Half-wit.
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It's just rusty.
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He's into them rappin' clowns
Now.
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>> rusty: they ain't just
Rappin' clowns.
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They're a tribal embodiment of
My teenage anger and family
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Structure I never had...
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And that crap.
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>> early: boy, what are you
Doin' to my plug-it-up brand
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Novelty joke cork what you give
To somebody who'd just ate the
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Baked beans?!
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[ whimpers ]
That's all I got left of my
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Mama!
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>> rusty: I'm makin' me some
Greasepaint, so just chill your
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Ass out and be a ninja.
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Clowny daggers.
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>> early: all right, that's it!
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Your happiness just walked all
The hell over my damn
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Convenience!
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>> rusty: aah!
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>> rusty: get down! Get down!
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>> sheriff: whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Early, go easy on the boy.
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>> early: what the?!
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>> sheriff: he's a good soldier
For the clowny empire.
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>> rusty: sheriff!
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You into this mess, too?
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>> sheriff: you bet.
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At first, I was undercover,
Tryin' to find out who kept
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Stuffin' flamin' dog poop in my
Mailbox, but after a while, I
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Realized the clowny lifestyle
Appealed to me.
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I saw what the fuss was about,
And look at me now -- already
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Three steps up on the ziggurat
Of the clowny daggers.
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Ninjahood is imminent.
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>> rusty: whoo!
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All right, sheriff!
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Come on, clowny daggers!
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>> sheriff: clowny daggers,
Russell.
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Listen, early, you might oughta
Try this, too.
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You know, they say the family
That plays together stays
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Together.
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>> rusty: it's time to get
Clowny up in here, ya heard?
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♪ dark elephants are marchin'
In ♪
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♪ now crap yourself
♪ oh, da da
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Let me hear that evil-ass
Calliope, baby!
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[ humming ]
>> early: well, the clowny freak
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Philosophy does have a certain
Elegance to it.
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I'll give it that.
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>> sheriff: that's right, early.
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00:05:09,014 --> 00:05:10,021
This stuff proves it.
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Just because rap came from black
People don't mean it can't be
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Every bit as white trash as you
Or me.
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>> granny: aah!
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>> early: well, hell yeah!
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I like me some of that!
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>> sheriff: come on.
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Get your clown on, ninja.
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>> early: hell yeah! Whoo!
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Let's do it!
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[ gulping ]
Mmm!
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You want yourself a fruity-soda
Drink?
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>> sheriff: [ strained ] Sure.
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>> early: ha ha! Yeah!
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>> rusty: [ laughs ]
Daddy!
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We -- we was just havin' fun,
Daddy.
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>> early: I'm 'bout to show you
Some funny right now!
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>> sheriff: [ gurgling ]
>> early: see?
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That's pretty damn funny.
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>> rusty: [ laughing ] Yeah!
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>> whaaaaaaa!
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[ laughter ]
[ thud, car alarm blaring ]
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>> sheriff: oh, hell.
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That's
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Should have adjusted for the
Wind, I guess.
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>> early: you better go check on
That.
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>> sheriff: oh, my -- no! Early!
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00:05:59,019 --> 00:06:00,018
>> early: yeah.
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00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:04,001
[ glass shatters ]
Cloudy what's and such.
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>> rusty: whoo, baby! Ha ha!
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Hell yeah!
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>> granny: aaaaaaaaah!
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>> early: there you go!
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Whoo!
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Aw, damn it!
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00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,000
I tell you what, boys.
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00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:20,006
I been in a kiss army, and for a
Time, I was a travis tritt
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Kicker -- tit-kickin' trooper
Tratter.
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00:06:22,021 --> 00:06:25,004
[ car alarm blaring ]
But all that was just a warm-up
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For this right here.
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[ voice breaking ] I...
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[ sniffles ]
Am...
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Home.
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>> rusty: daddy, you gonna cry?
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00:06:33,004 --> 00:06:34,006
>> early: leave me be!
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00:06:34,008 --> 00:06:36,023
I just got some clowny makeup in
This here eye.
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That's all.
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>> sheriff: [ chuckles ]
Well, ain't this beautiful.
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00:06:39,016 --> 00:06:43,022
A lot of sheriffs would frown on
Aidin' and abettin' a daylong
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00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,001
Crime spree in the name of
Father/son harmony, but you know
200
00:06:47,003 --> 00:06:47,022
What?
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00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,008
They're the
Clowns.
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00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:50,002
>> rusty: whoo!
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00:06:50,004 --> 00:06:51,012
Boy, you are twisted, sheriff!
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00:06:51,014 --> 00:06:53,012
>> sheriff: ain't I just the
Dickens?
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00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:55,006
[ laughs ]
Clowny daggers, y'all.
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00:06:55,008 --> 00:06:56,011
>> rusty: clowny daggers.
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00:06:56,013 --> 00:06:59,011
>> sheriff: [ laughs ]
>> early: finally.
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00:06:59,013 --> 00:07:02,022
I thought that sumbitch was
Gonna tag along all night.
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00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,003
Touch up your face, boy.
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00:07:04,005 --> 00:07:07,005
We about to find out how many
Clowns we can cram into a stolen
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00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:08,007
Car!
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00:07:08,009 --> 00:07:13,023
[ car alarm blaring ]
Well...I guess it's just two.
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00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,011
>> rusty: where we goin', daddy?
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00:07:15,013 --> 00:07:19,003
>> early: to the natural
Stompin' ground of the clown.
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00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,003
Whoo!
216
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:20,022
[ siren wailing ]
217
00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:25,021
>> lil: okay, it's that time of
Night.
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00:07:25,023 --> 00:07:28,013
Anybody here from the freak
Show, line up.
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00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,008
Cash up front, monsters.
220
00:07:30,010 --> 00:07:31,007
I don't do pity sex.
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00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:32,015
>> early: look out, now.
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00:07:32,017 --> 00:07:35,008
There's only room for
Of freaks in this town, and they
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00:07:35,010 --> 00:07:36,006
Be clowny freaks!
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00:07:36,008 --> 00:07:37,010
Whoo!
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00:07:37,012 --> 00:07:39,004
>> rusty: daddy, daddy, we ain't
Exactly rival gangs, now.
226
00:07:39,006 --> 00:07:41,003
>> early: look what we got here,
Boy.
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00:07:41,005 --> 00:07:42,006
We goin' surf and turf!
228
00:07:42,008 --> 00:07:43,010
>> easy, man.
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00:07:43,012 --> 00:07:46,019
I work in a freak show, and I'm
The last in line to see a
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00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:47,011
Prostitute.
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00:07:47,013 --> 00:07:49,003
Is that not enough humiliation?
232
00:07:49,005 --> 00:07:51,023
>> rusty: now, daddy, bein' a
Clowny freak's about outcasts
233
00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:54,008
Pullin' together and bein' a
Family and everything.
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00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:55,018
>> lil: hey! Lay off, early.
235
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:56,009
He ain't paid yet.
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00:07:56,011 --> 00:07:58,004
>> listen to the lady, punk.
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00:07:58,006 --> 00:08:00,006
>> early: oh, is that how you
Wanna play it?
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00:08:00,008 --> 00:08:02,005
Huh? Is that it?
239
00:08:02,007 --> 00:08:03,009
>> rusty: uh, daddy?
240
00:08:03,011 --> 00:08:04,019
Daddy, what you doin'?
241
00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:07,020
>> early: I'll burn this whole
Place to hell, for I am the
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00:08:07,022 --> 00:08:09,004
Demon hisself!
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00:08:09,006 --> 00:08:12,007
Whoo! Clowny daggers, baby!
244
00:08:12,009 --> 00:08:12,021
Aah! No!
245
00:08:12,023 --> 00:08:14,007
I got too cocky, damn it!
246
00:08:14,009 --> 00:08:15,000
Put me out!
247
00:08:15,002 --> 00:08:16,020
I got caught up in my own hype!
248
00:08:16,022 --> 00:08:17,023
Aah!
249
00:08:18,014 --> 00:08:20,004
Ooh.
250
00:08:20,006 --> 00:08:23,009
Well, didn't burn my lips off.
251
00:08:23,011 --> 00:08:26,023
That's how you know it was a
Success.
252
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:28,001
[ strained ] Clowny...Daggers.
253
00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:29,008
>> rusty: I don't know, daddy.
254
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:32,004
I mean, it's gonna take a
Clown makeup to cover this.
255
00:08:32,006 --> 00:08:33,017
>> early: it's all right.
256
00:08:33,019 --> 00:08:36,020
Ain't got no more nerves up
There to give me hassles.
257
00:08:36,022 --> 00:08:39,009
[ grunts ]
Let's me and you go to the park
258
00:08:39,011 --> 00:08:42,000
And set afire to a homeless.
259
00:08:42,002 --> 00:08:43,007
It's the way of the clown.
260
00:08:43,009 --> 00:08:45,005
>> rusty: maybe we oughta just
Hit the hay, daddy.
261
00:08:45,007 --> 00:08:46,023
I mean, it's 4:30 in the
Mornin'.
262
00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:48,017
>> early: what's on tap for
Tomorrow night?
263
00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:51,002
Couple of jesters gettin' buck
Wild up there in satan's big
264
00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:51,023
Top?
265
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:53,005
[ laughs ]
>> rusty: well, actually, you
266
00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:54,021
Know, I'm kinda thinkin' about
Maybe wipin' off the makeup for
267
00:08:54,023 --> 00:08:55,021
A day or two.
268
00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:58,008
Clowny vacay, you know?
269
00:08:58,010 --> 00:08:59,009
>> early: I see.
270
00:08:59,011 --> 00:09:02,008
Surely you ain't forgettin' what
Today is.
271
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:03,022
Festival of the clowny freak.
272
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,008
You know you like you some
Puppets gettin' busy, son.
273
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:07,020
>> rusty: you know what?
274
00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:09,003
Take the sheriff with you.
275
00:09:09,005 --> 00:09:11,012
>> early: oh, son, I'm sorry.
276
00:09:11,014 --> 00:09:12,014
My fault.
277
00:09:12,016 --> 00:09:14,005
I thought you had a pair of
Clowny testicles on you.
278
00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:15,010
>> rusty: don't go there, daddy.
279
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:18,006
>> early: oh, son, you the one
What done pulled open a can of
280
00:09:18,008 --> 00:09:19,021
Fedora's box wide-ass open.
281
00:09:19,023 --> 00:09:21,009
>> rusty: now, listen here, now.
282
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:23,014
I'm really happy we're gettin'
All activitational together,
283
00:09:23,016 --> 00:09:27,010
But, uh, I'm kinda realizin'
Clownin' was just a phase.
284
00:09:27,012 --> 00:09:29,020
New thing is readin' -- chapter
Books.
285
00:09:29,022 --> 00:09:30,023
You ever read you some
"Super fudge"?
286
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:32,013
Now,
287
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,002
>> early: surely you have time
For a quick fruity-soda
288
00:09:37,004 --> 00:09:39,009
Throwdown for old time's sake.
289
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:41,018
It's a natural part of any
Clowny schedule.
290
00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:44,023
>> rusty: daddy, I-I am sorry,
But I just don't think I can get
291
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,007
Clowny no more, daddy.
292
00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:49,008
[ gurgling ]
>> early: you best...Crap...
293
00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,014
Yourself!
294
00:09:50,016 --> 00:09:51,011
Whoo!
295
00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:55,012
[ both grunting ]
>> sheriff: soldiers!
296
00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:56,003
Break it up!
297
00:09:56,005 --> 00:09:57,012
>> early: I don't need you!
298
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,011
I don't need you at all!
299
00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:01,004
>> rusty: no, daddy! Come back!
300
00:10:01,006 --> 00:10:04,007
>> granny: ooh!
301
00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:08,023
Satan does like to pull him some
Trains, I suppose.
302
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:13,006
>> early: [ sniffling ] I just
Go to the festival myself.
303
00:10:13,008 --> 00:10:16,007
I got a whole clown army to rest
My head on.
304
00:10:16,009 --> 00:10:21,003
[ sobbing ] Clowny daggers!
305
00:10:21,005 --> 00:10:22,010
>> ♪ ba-rat-a-tat-tat, smash yo
Face with my bat ♪
306
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:26,000
♪ the fat of my bat slap yo
Skull with a splat ♪
307
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:27,008
♪ now, how you like that?
♪ oh, you
308
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:30,000
♪ nurse, 10 ccs or my eastern,
Stat ♪
309
00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:31,019
>> early: hell yeah!
310
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,012
>> aaaah!
311
00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:33,022
>> whoa, whoa, whoa. Up front.
312
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,014
Old guy with a bat.
313
00:10:34,016 --> 00:10:35,008
>> early: whoo!
314
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,023
[ laughs ]
[ crowd booing ]
315
00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,000
Your song, hell, it made me do
It.
316
00:10:39,002 --> 00:10:39,023
What the hell?
317
00:10:40,001 --> 00:10:40,020
>> it's symbolism.
318
00:10:40,022 --> 00:10:42,010
The bat is like my -- my
Fractured youth.
319
00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:43,005
>> early: ooh! Aah!
320
00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:44,023
>> now get him the fuck out
Of here.
321
00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:45,021
>> early: hell no!
322
00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:47,007
I'm gonna get me a damn belt
Buckle!
323
00:10:47,009 --> 00:10:48,006
>> all right, all right.
324
00:10:48,008 --> 00:10:49,012
Drag him by the merch tent.
325
00:10:49,014 --> 00:10:52,021
♪ louisville slugger to your
Cabriolet ♪
326
00:10:52,023 --> 00:10:56,004
♪ oh, damn, they got a bat
♪ those crazy mother [bleep]
327
00:10:56,006 --> 00:10:58,005
Went and got a bat ♪
What?!
328
00:10:58,007 --> 00:11:01,007
♪ hey, we swingin' a bat
♪ two crazy mother [bleep] Are
329
00:11:01,009 --> 00:11:05,010
Swingin' a bat ♪
You damn right!
330
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,022
We just came from the
Sporting-goods store, y'all.
331
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,005
>> swish, swish, swish!
332
00:11:09,007 --> 00:11:10,013
>> there was a sale.
333
00:11:10,015 --> 00:11:12,023
Strike three, and you out!
24262
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