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[ static ]
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[ country music plays ]
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>> ♪ somehow I've got spinal
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Meningitis ♪
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♪ injectin' all that hair spray
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Into my brain ♪
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♪ it's a super-cheap way
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To party ♪
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♪ if you aim to kill some brain
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Cells and some time ♪
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>> rusty: my turn.
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>> early: hell no.
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>> rusty: man, let me drive that
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Thing!
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>> early: do not touch the trim!
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>> [ sighs ]
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Oh! I think I hear someone.
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>> granny: whore!
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>> rusty: fornicator!
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>> granny: painted jezebel!
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>> rusty: masturbator!
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>> hold your damnation.
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It's just another squirrel.
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>> granny: furry slut!
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You'll eat hot coals instead of
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Acorns!
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>> just leave the beast be.
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[ sighs ]
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[ horn honks, engine revs ]
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Oh! Sinner!
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>> granny: masturbating
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Fornicator!
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[ tires screech ]
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>> oh. H-hey, early.
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>> early: you know how you
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Always sayin' I'm lost?
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Well, now I'm found.
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Looky here.
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[ gps beeps ]
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>>
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>> early: got me a gps!
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>> rusty: hell yeah!
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>> early: up yours,
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"Amazing grace"!
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>> rusty: whoo!
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>> really talking more about a
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Spiritual --
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>> early: gps, give me that
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Sumbitch osama bin laden.
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>> rusty: well, hell yeah,
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Daddy!
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>> early: decided it was time to
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Put my money where my bumper
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Sticker is.
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>> rusty: hell yeah.
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>>
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>> early: it's calculatin'.
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>> rusty: whoo!
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>>
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>> early: let's go for that one
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Over there in, uh,
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Afghani...Stani...Cisco.
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>>
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>> early: whoo!
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I'm gonna be smokin' him right
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Out of his hole!
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>>
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>> early: aw, hell.
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Best get my pee-pee bottle.
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>>
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>> early: [ urinating ]
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>>
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[ splash ]
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[ tires screech ]
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>> early: looks like we losin'
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Daylight.
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[ dance music plays ]
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We'll hit it hard tomorrow.
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>>
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>> early: hey!
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Y'all got a discount for
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American heroes?
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Yeah, I been doin' intel
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Reconnaissance.
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Black ops stuff, mostly.
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[ glass shatters ]
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Totally deep background.
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Aw, hell.
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I already done said too much.
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I can't say no more.
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Pretend this here is me, and
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Your hoo-ha there, that you --
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That you are wavin' in my face,
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That there is the cave that's
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A-hidin' old bin laden up there.
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And then I'm just gonna creep,
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Creep, creep up this here thigh,
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And then --
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[ glass shatters ]
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So this is the damn thanks I
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Get!
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Well, spit in my face,
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Jane fonda!
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[ engine revving ]
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Ahh.
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>>
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>> early: keep goin'.
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Please stay a hero.
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Aah...Uh...
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>>
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>> early: [ snoring ]
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>>
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[ thud ]
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>> early: what's that?
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>>
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>> early: what in the hell?!
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[ crash ]
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You made me spill my drink!
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>>
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>> early: and you made me spill
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My drink!
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>>
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>> early: damn robot!
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>>
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>> early: whatever.
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>>
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[ horn honking ]
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>> early: you alive.
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Yeah, you alive.
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It's a miracle and all that.
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Who knows?
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Maybe the good lord knew'd.
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He knew'd I needed a -- a...
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>>
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>> early: no -- a robotified
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Robochine.
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Yeah.
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>>
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>> early: I'll call you "China."
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>>
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>> early: but it will be "Chyna"
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With a "Y," 'cause I think
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That's sexy as hell.
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>>
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>> early: whoo!
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>>
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>> early: whoo!
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Hell yeah!
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>>
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>> early: okay! Stop up here!
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Stop up here!
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Whoo!
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Well, hey, y'all.
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>> granny: where in the hell
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Have you been?
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>> early: just doin' a little
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Dirt surfin' with my new best
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Buddy here!
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Whoo!
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>>
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>> both: ...30 yards up to the
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Motorway!
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[ both laugh ]
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>> early: you wild, chyna!
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Hell, you wild!
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Whoo!
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>>
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>> granny: you've been spendin'
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Too much time with this truck.
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Ain't you learned nothin' from
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Governor schwarzenegger?
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Robots always turn against you
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In the end.
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>> rusty: I tell you what,
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Though -- that dirt surfin'
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Looks funner than hell.
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>> granny: yeah.
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It sure does.
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Let me go get my sports bra.
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>> early: well, I can't waste
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All day a-dirt surfin'.
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>> granny: ohhh.
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>> early: we got us a tailgate
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Party now.
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>>
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>> early: go, dawgs!
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>>
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>> early: mmm.
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Mmm.
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[
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Mm-hmm.
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>> rusty: hey, daddy, when you
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Throw them wing bones, how about
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You say "Go long!"?
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Almost like we playin' catch,
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Daddy.
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>> early: mm.
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[ volume increases ]
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[ horn honks ]
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>>
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>> early: we good.
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[ glass shatters ]
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>>
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>> early: no, hoss, we good.
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>>
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>> early: what the hell --
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Hey, shut that damn door!
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>>
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>> early: and turn right at the
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Four-way stop.
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I know, I know!
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Hell, I don't want to hear the
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Labor.
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I just want to see the damn
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Baby.
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12-pack of babies.
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Domestic, ice-cold -- now!
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>>
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[ tires screech ]
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>> early: damn. Stupid.
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>>
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>> early: no. I gotta piss.
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>>
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>> early: over to the pissin'
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Bush?
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>>
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>> early: hell no!
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>>
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>> early: hell, I don't care if
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I get lost.
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>> I
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I
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>> early: you know what?
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I think the pee-pee just
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Reabsorbed back into my old
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Jimmy jack when you started
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Talkin' damn emotions at me.
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That's what I think.
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>>
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>> early: I know'd I shouldn't
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Have bought no damn refurbished!
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[ rooster crows ]
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Is it still there?
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>> rusty: hell yeah, he is.
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>>
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>> early: damn it.
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>>
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>> early: why don't he never run
249
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Out of gas?
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>> granny: he went down and
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Refueled himself while we was
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Sleepin'.
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>> early: aw, damn it.
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[ horn honks ]
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>>
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>> rusty: disney-- disneyland?!
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>>
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>> rusty: whoo-hoo!
259
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>> granny: no, rusty!
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It's a trick!
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I mean, wait.
262
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Disneyland?
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>>
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>> granny: yeah! Disneyland!
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>>
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>> rusty: marty mouse!
267
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>> granny: but no epcot.
268
00:06:54,001 --> 00:06:55,023
I got no interest in the future.
269
00:06:55,025 --> 00:06:56,028
[ truck doors slam ]
270
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,014
[ locks click ]
271
00:06:58,016 --> 00:07:00,002
>>
272
00:07:06,012 --> 00:07:08,019
[ air blowing ]
273
00:07:08,021 --> 00:07:12,016
Real
274
00:07:12,018 --> 00:07:14,012
>> granny: yeah, this --
275
00:07:14,014 --> 00:07:17,000
This is mildly uncomfortable.
276
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000
That's better.
277
00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:24,029
So...
278
00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:26,022
This means we ain't goin' to
279
00:07:26,024 --> 00:07:27,018
Disneyland?
280
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,023
>>
281
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:40,013
>> rusty: whoo! Yeah!
282
00:07:40,015 --> 00:07:41,015
We're here! Marty mouse! Whoo!
283
00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:43,012
>>
284
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:44,015
>> rusty: so, what do we do?
285
00:07:44,017 --> 00:07:45,015
We wait for the shuttle?
286
00:07:45,017 --> 00:07:46,003
We just go on in?
287
00:07:46,005 --> 00:07:47,024
>> granny: now, you lure ronald
288
00:07:47,026 --> 00:07:49,014
Out here, and I'm gonna brain
289
00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:50,018
Him with this hammer.
290
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:51,027
Duck meat's good meat.
291
00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:53,026
>> rusty: buzz light-man?
292
00:07:53,028 --> 00:07:55,025
Marty? Doochy?
293
00:07:55,027 --> 00:07:56,020
>> [ growling ]
294
00:07:56,022 --> 00:07:57,005
>> rusty: doochy?
295
00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:58,014
No! No!
296
00:07:58,016 --> 00:07:59,018
No! No! Aah!
297
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,014
>> granny: oh, ronald!
298
00:08:01,016 --> 00:08:03,025
I want your autygraph!
299
00:08:03,027 --> 00:08:04,028
>> rusty: ohh...Ohh...
300
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,004
Ow!
301
00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:07,012
Ohh...
302
00:08:07,014 --> 00:08:07,029
I-I think --
303
00:08:08,001 --> 00:08:09,014
Is this a picture they took?
304
00:08:09,016 --> 00:08:10,027
>> granny: oh, baby, that's your
305
00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:12,019
Skull.
306
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:17,028
>> early: [ panting ]
307
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,005
[ engine sputtering ]
308
00:08:21,007 --> 00:08:21,027
>>
309
00:08:21,029 --> 00:08:22,020
>> early: aah!
310
00:08:22,022 --> 00:08:23,023
>>
311
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:27,002
>> early: I-I gotta clear up my
312
00:08:27,004 --> 00:08:27,018
Mind.
313
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:28,028
>>
314
00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:31,022
>> early: did you not read my
315
00:08:31,024 --> 00:08:32,002
Tweet?
316
00:08:32,004 --> 00:08:33,000
Me and you is done!
317
00:08:33,002 --> 00:08:37,001
[ engine sputtering ]
318
00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:38,006
I'm outta here!
319
00:08:38,008 --> 00:08:39,020
>>
320
00:08:43,027 --> 00:08:45,006
>> early: I'm gone, baby!
321
00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:45,025
>>
322
00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:49,025
[ tires screech ]
323
00:08:52,029 --> 00:08:56,028
>> early: [ groaning ]
324
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,027
Ellis?
325
00:08:58,029 --> 00:09:00,024
Stripper?
326
00:09:00,026 --> 00:09:02,023
>>
327
00:09:02,025 --> 00:09:04,004
>> early: chyna, what did you
328
00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:04,019
Do?!
329
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,025
>>
330
00:09:12,027 --> 00:09:14,015
>> early: stripper?! No!
331
00:09:14,017 --> 00:09:14,029
[ crying ]
332
00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:16,015
>>
333
00:09:16,028 --> 00:09:18,005
>> early: I can't take no more!
334
00:09:18,007 --> 00:09:19,001
>>
335
00:09:20,005 --> 00:09:21,016
>> early: w-wait a minute, now.
336
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,023
>>
337
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,017
>> early: wait, please!
338
00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:25,027
I thought we was gonna drive
339
00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:27,005
Up to the coast -- reconnect!
340
00:09:27,007 --> 00:09:28,027
>>
341
00:09:28,029 --> 00:09:30,021
>> early: I didn't like it, but
342
00:09:30,023 --> 00:09:31,008
Now I
343
00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,004
Let's do it.
344
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,024
>>
345
00:09:33,026 --> 00:09:34,029
>> early: I was hasty to tell
346
00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:36,006
You to go screw your damn self.
347
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:37,019
But, you know, forgive and
348
00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:38,001
Forget.
349
00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:38,021
Let's go.
350
00:09:38,023 --> 00:09:39,029
>>
351
00:09:40,024 --> 00:09:41,021
>> early: hell yeah!
352
00:09:41,023 --> 00:09:42,028
>>
353
00:09:44,005 --> 00:09:47,007
>> early: come on -- me and you.
354
00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:48,025
And here we are.
355
00:09:48,027 --> 00:09:50,004
Right there's where the amish
356
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,001
Peoples lives at.
357
00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:52,021
>>
358
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,016
>> early: horse-drawn car
359
00:09:54,018 --> 00:09:54,028
Crusher.
360
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,002
I think it makes butter, too.
361
00:09:56,004 --> 00:09:56,023
>>
362
00:09:56,025 --> 00:09:57,026
>> early: let's get us a
363
00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:58,006
Picture.
364
00:09:58,008 --> 00:09:59,021
Now one on the side.
365
00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:00,005
>>
366
00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:01,002
>> early: yeah, yeah.
367
00:10:01,004 --> 00:10:01,021
That's good.
368
00:10:01,023 --> 00:10:02,006
>>
369
00:10:02,008 --> 00:10:03,002
>> early: come on.
370
00:10:03,004 --> 00:10:04,000
Tease us. Tease us.
371
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,003
>>
372
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,023
>> early: damn it, granny,
373
00:10:06,025 --> 00:10:08,006
Just do it already!
374
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,004
>>
375
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:12,008
[ car alarm blaring ]
376
00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,008
>> granny: there it go.
377
00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:14,007
>> early: I win!
378
00:10:14,009 --> 00:10:15,009
>>
379
00:10:15,011 --> 00:10:16,016
[ distorted ]
380
00:10:19,005 --> 00:10:21,000
>> early: the nightmare is over!
381
00:10:21,002 --> 00:10:22,007
Whoo! Ha ha ha!
382
00:10:22,009 --> 00:10:23,018
>> rusty: how come you didn't
383
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:24,021
Just take that gps out and
384
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,006
Demolish it?
385
00:10:25,008 --> 00:10:26,024
Seems a waste, you know, to
386
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,001
Destroy a whole truck.
387
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,021
>> early: uh, way to piss on the
388
00:10:29,023 --> 00:10:30,026
Mood, captain bigmouth.
389
00:10:30,028 --> 00:10:31,022
You can walk home.
390
00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:32,026
>> granny: well, we're
391
00:10:32,028 --> 00:10:33,018
Walkin' home.
392
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:34,005
Got no truck.
393
00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:35,008
>> early: well, we may be
394
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,022
Walkin', but we ain't a-gettin'
395
00:10:36,024 --> 00:10:38,010
Lost -- not with my brand-new
396
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,003
Paul stanley gps.
397
00:10:40,005 --> 00:10:43,000
>>
398
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:52,005
[ beeping ]
399
00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:53,004
[ insects chirping ]
400
00:11:02,008 --> 00:11:06,008
♪
401
00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:10,001
♪
402
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,008
♪
22786
