All language subtitles for Squidbillies.S05E01.Need.for.Weed.1080p.HMAX.WEBRip.DD.2.0.x265-edge2020_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,012 --> 00:00:03,027 [ static ] 2 00:00:03,029 --> 00:00:08,008 [ country music plays ] 3 00:00:08,010 --> 00:00:10,006 >> ♪ well, my oldest son was 4 00:00:10,008 --> 00:00:12,028 Born an albino ♪ 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,029 ♪ and my youngest, uh, is 6 00:00:15,001 --> 00:00:17,010 Covered with hair ♪ 7 00:00:17,012 --> 00:00:19,027 ♪ and the middle one says he's a 8 00:00:19,029 --> 00:00:21,029 Homosexual ♪ 9 00:00:22,001 --> 00:00:23,029 ♪ and the other seven's gone, 10 00:00:24,001 --> 00:00:26,001 And I don't know where ♪ 11 00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:27,019 ♪ and I don't care ♪ 12 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:28,014 >> rusty: my turn. 13 00:00:28,016 --> 00:00:29,009 >> early: hell no. 14 00:00:29,011 --> 00:00:30,015 >> rusty: man, let me drive that 15 00:00:30,017 --> 00:00:31,000 Thing! 16 00:00:31,002 --> 00:00:33,002 >> early: do not touch the trim! 17 00:00:34,012 --> 00:00:35,019 Ohhhh, my head. 18 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,021 >> granny: [ groans ] 19 00:00:36,023 --> 00:00:37,021 >> early: [ gasps ] 20 00:00:37,023 --> 00:00:38,020 What in the hell?! 21 00:00:38,022 --> 00:00:40,006 Did we do somethin', you and 22 00:00:40,008 --> 00:00:40,015 Me?! 23 00:00:40,017 --> 00:00:42,003 >> granny: I'm not sure, but -- 24 00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:43,003 >> early: oh, hell! 25 00:00:43,005 --> 00:00:44,015 >> granny: ...Just so you know, 26 00:00:44,017 --> 00:00:46,001 I can't get pregnant no more. 27 00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:47,003 >> early: whoa, now! 28 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,005 Did 29 00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:49,013 >> rusty: ain't do nothin'. 30 00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:50,019 I ain't like that, daddy. 31 00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:52,004 I had one of them dreams last 32 00:00:52,006 --> 00:00:53,013 Night that godzilly came over 33 00:00:53,015 --> 00:00:55,000 Here and tilted our house up off 34 00:00:55,002 --> 00:00:55,016 The ground. 35 00:00:55,018 --> 00:00:56,010 >> early: son. 36 00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:57,008 Son, now, come on. 37 00:00:57,010 --> 00:00:58,006 That's impossible. 38 00:00:58,008 --> 00:00:59,016 I mean, ol' godzilla, he lives 39 00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,021 Up there in ja-pan. 40 00:01:00,023 --> 00:01:02,013 And that's a long-ass commute 41 00:01:02,015 --> 00:01:04,004 Just for a beatdown, okay? 42 00:01:04,006 --> 00:01:05,005 No, godzilly ain't got no -- 43 00:01:05,007 --> 00:01:06,027 [ rumbling ] 44 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:07,017 It's godzilla! 45 00:01:07,019 --> 00:01:08,015 >> granny: oh, no! 46 00:01:08,017 --> 00:01:09,015 It's godzilly! 47 00:01:09,017 --> 00:01:11,007 >> early: we have angered him! 48 00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:13,003 Son, fetch my emergency hat! 49 00:01:13,005 --> 00:01:14,011 >> rusty: godzilly! 50 00:01:14,013 --> 00:01:15,011 Aaaaaaaah! 51 00:01:15,013 --> 00:01:17,006 >> early: all right, there we 52 00:01:17,008 --> 00:01:17,016 Go. 53 00:01:17,018 --> 00:01:19,000 Assume the position. 54 00:01:19,002 --> 00:01:20,000 Do it! Do it! 55 00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:21,008 [ engines revving ] 56 00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:25,006 [ helicopter blades whirring ] 57 00:01:25,008 --> 00:01:26,000 [ rumbling stops ] 58 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,011 >> early: aw, look at this 59 00:01:27,013 --> 00:01:27,029 Place. 60 00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:29,007 Lil, clean up this mess. 61 00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:30,009 >> lil: [ groans ] 62 00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:32,000 >> early: damn, you sloppy-ass 63 00:01:32,002 --> 00:01:32,012 Bitch. 64 00:01:32,014 --> 00:01:33,016 Checked out on meth. 65 00:01:33,018 --> 00:01:37,013 Ain't got a sumbitchin' clue. 66 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,015 >> lil: hey! Miguel! 67 00:01:38,017 --> 00:01:40,003 Get that batch of sour diesel 68 00:01:40,005 --> 00:01:41,005 Wrapped and loaded. 69 00:01:41,007 --> 00:01:42,019 Make sure you have the o.G. Kush 70 00:01:42,021 --> 00:01:44,008 And strawberry cough dried and 71 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,012 Labeled before you go. 72 00:01:45,014 --> 00:01:47,004 >> but these are all the -- the 73 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:47,015 Same. 74 00:01:47,017 --> 00:01:49,002 >> lil: it's marketin', you 75 00:01:49,004 --> 00:01:49,016 Dumbass! 76 00:01:49,018 --> 00:01:50,012 Now, come on! 77 00:01:50,014 --> 00:01:52,020 Bonnaroo is in tres días! 78 00:01:52,022 --> 00:01:54,002 [ alarm blaring ] 79 00:01:54,004 --> 00:01:55,003 It's the pigs. 80 00:01:55,005 --> 00:01:56,018 Lights out. Nobody move. 81 00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:57,014 Isilencio! 82 00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,028 [ siren wails ] 83 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,014 [ engine shuts off ] 84 00:02:00,016 --> 00:02:02,027 >> sheriff: hey, uh, groovers. 85 00:02:02,029 --> 00:02:05,007 Uh, it's 20 minutes after 4:00. 86 00:02:05,009 --> 00:02:07,007 Anybody want to get, uh, 87 00:02:07,009 --> 00:02:10,017 Sky-high on some, uh, grass? 88 00:02:10,019 --> 00:02:11,016 >> early: are you a cop, 89 00:02:11,018 --> 00:02:12,003 Sheriff? 90 00:02:12,005 --> 00:02:13,005 >> sheriff: oh, no way, bro. 91 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,012 >> early: 'cause you supposed to 92 00:02:14,014 --> 00:02:15,017 Tell us if you was the po-lice. 93 00:02:15,019 --> 00:02:16,017 >> sheriff: come on, now. 94 00:02:16,019 --> 00:02:18,002 L-let's just, uh... 95 00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:18,027 [ clears throat ] 96 00:02:18,029 --> 00:02:20,010 Let's inhale some drugs 97 00:02:20,012 --> 00:02:21,005 Together. 98 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,014 Or maybe we could rub some drugs 99 00:02:23,016 --> 00:02:25,016 On our gums and experience a 100 00:02:25,018 --> 00:02:27,019 Kind of feeling of euphoria. 101 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,017 >> early: all right. 102 00:02:28,019 --> 00:02:29,012 All right, then. 103 00:02:29,014 --> 00:02:30,017 Hell yeah! That sounds good! 104 00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:32,011 >> sheriff: okay. Yeah. 105 00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:34,000 W-w-where's mary and johnny? 106 00:02:34,002 --> 00:02:35,004 'cause I want to get gassed. 107 00:02:35,006 --> 00:02:36,008 >> early: yeah, now! Me too! 108 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,010 >> granny: yeah, also me. 109 00:02:37,012 --> 00:02:38,013 >> rusty: I'll try anything 110 00:02:38,015 --> 00:02:38,028 Once. 111 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:39,027 >> early: there you go! 112 00:02:39,029 --> 00:02:41,003 >> sheriff: let's go on a drug 113 00:02:41,005 --> 00:02:41,012 Trip. 114 00:02:41,014 --> 00:02:42,014 >> granny: yeah, let's go! 115 00:02:42,016 --> 00:02:43,013 >> early: let's do it! 116 00:02:43,015 --> 00:02:44,012 Hell, I'm down with it! 117 00:02:44,014 --> 00:02:45,015 >> rusty: can't get worse. 118 00:02:45,017 --> 00:02:46,011 >> early: let's go. 119 00:02:46,013 --> 00:02:47,017 >> sheriff: uh, let's do it -- 120 00:02:47,019 --> 00:02:48,001 Now. 121 00:02:48,003 --> 00:02:49,004 >> early: all right, then. 122 00:02:49,006 --> 00:02:49,018 Let's do it. 123 00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:51,020 >> granny: all right. 124 00:02:55,015 --> 00:02:56,015 >> sheriff: [ sighs ] 125 00:02:56,017 --> 00:02:57,029 Y'all ain't got no drugs, do 126 00:02:58,001 --> 00:02:58,008 You? 127 00:02:58,010 --> 00:02:59,017 >> early: no, we ain't got no 128 00:02:59,019 --> 00:03:00,004 Drugs. 129 00:03:00,006 --> 00:03:00,026 No. Hunh-unh. 130 00:03:00,028 --> 00:03:02,001 >> granny: how about 131 00:03:02,003 --> 00:03:03,010 >> sheriff: [ sighs ] Fine. 132 00:03:03,012 --> 00:03:04,010 Want to play dumb? 133 00:03:04,012 --> 00:03:05,001 Come on, boy. 134 00:03:05,003 --> 00:03:06,005 Get out there and sniff them 135 00:03:06,007 --> 00:03:06,017 Drugs out. 136 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,019 Come on. [ clicks tongue ] 137 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,006 Come on. 138 00:03:08,008 --> 00:03:09,006 >> rusty: sheriff, uh -- 139 00:03:09,008 --> 00:03:10,009 >> sheriff: get your scent. 140 00:03:10,011 --> 00:03:11,000 There you go. 141 00:03:11,002 --> 00:03:12,006 >> rusty: h-h-he ain't movin'. 142 00:03:12,008 --> 00:03:13,010 >> sheriff: he's just scopin' 143 00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:14,002 Out the scene. 144 00:03:14,004 --> 00:03:15,029 You know -- playin' dead. 145 00:03:16,001 --> 00:03:19,013 [ flies buzzing ] 146 00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:21,010 Early, you said this was a drug 147 00:03:21,012 --> 00:03:22,000 Possum. 148 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:22,018 >> early: it 149 00:03:22,020 --> 00:03:24,002 Drug it over here from the side 150 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,009 Of the road to sell it to 151 00:03:25,011 --> 00:03:25,027 Dumb ass. 152 00:03:25,029 --> 00:03:26,017 >> sheriff: fine. 153 00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:27,019 We'll just do it with the 154 00:03:27,021 --> 00:03:28,029 Gerbil. 155 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,008 I got all day. 156 00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,000 >> rusty: what's this all about, 157 00:03:33,002 --> 00:03:33,013 Sheriff? 158 00:03:33,015 --> 00:03:35,004 >> sheriff: well, we're gettin' 159 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,016 Reports of a lot of marijuana 160 00:03:36,018 --> 00:03:37,020 Traffic comin' out of 161 00:03:37,022 --> 00:03:38,027 Dougal county, see. 162 00:03:38,029 --> 00:03:40,013 And the gbi sent these satellite 163 00:03:40,015 --> 00:03:42,004 Photos of your property. 164 00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:43,006 Look right here. 165 00:03:43,008 --> 00:03:44,028 That's your shack, and this 166 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,011 Here's widespread panic. 167 00:03:46,013 --> 00:03:48,000 They been playin' on your 168 00:03:48,002 --> 00:03:49,007 Back 40 for 3 days. 169 00:03:49,009 --> 00:03:51,000 >> granny: is that what that 170 00:03:51,002 --> 00:03:52,011 Rattlin' was all about? 171 00:03:52,013 --> 00:03:56,012 [ rock music playing ] 172 00:03:56,014 --> 00:03:57,015 >> early: hey! 173 00:03:57,017 --> 00:03:58,020 Turn that damn mess down! 174 00:03:58,022 --> 00:03:59,028 >> granny: devil music! 175 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,006 >> early: sing me a song about 176 00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:01,018 America! 177 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,003 >> granny: you filthy hippies! 178 00:04:03,005 --> 00:04:04,009 >> early: mud-waterin'-at- 179 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,014 Woodstock damn sumbitchin' 180 00:04:05,016 --> 00:04:06,003 Hippies! 181 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,010 >> sheriff: point me to your 182 00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:08,008 Drug stash -- now. 183 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:09,007 >> early: aw, hell. 184 00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:10,026 This ain't about my private plot 185 00:04:10,028 --> 00:04:11,018 Back there, is it? 186 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:12,015 >> sheriff: nah. 187 00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:13,029 That's just small potatoes. 188 00:04:14,001 --> 00:04:14,029 >> early: oh, good. 189 00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:16,002 >> sheriff: no, really. 190 00:04:16,004 --> 00:04:17,007 Those are literally tiny 191 00:04:17,009 --> 00:04:17,027 Potatoes. 192 00:04:17,029 --> 00:04:18,017 We tested them. 193 00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:20,003 Do you really get off of that? 194 00:04:20,005 --> 00:04:20,029 >> early: nope. 195 00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:22,004 [ inhales deeply ] 196 00:04:22,006 --> 00:04:24,001 [ strained ] Suppose I shoulda 197 00:04:24,003 --> 00:04:25,009 Read the seed packet. 198 00:04:25,011 --> 00:04:26,007 [ coughing ] 199 00:04:26,009 --> 00:04:27,004 >> sheriff: oh, well. 200 00:04:27,006 --> 00:04:28,008 If y'all find anything out, just 201 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:28,027 Let me know. 202 00:04:28,029 --> 00:04:29,027 >> early: all right, then. 203 00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:30,012 See you later. 204 00:04:30,014 --> 00:04:31,008 >> granny: toodle-oo. 205 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,006 >> rusty: see you later, 206 00:04:32,008 --> 00:04:32,016 Sheriff. 207 00:04:32,018 --> 00:04:33,003 >> iadiós! 208 00:04:33,005 --> 00:04:33,015 >> iadiós! 209 00:04:33,017 --> 00:04:36,019 >> iadiós, amigo! 210 00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:38,004 >> sheriff: hang on just a 211 00:04:38,006 --> 00:04:38,017 Minute. 212 00:04:38,019 --> 00:04:40,006 [ helicopter blades whirring ] 213 00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:41,027 Tax assessor's gonna want to see 214 00:04:41,029 --> 00:04:42,008 That. 215 00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:43,016 [ camera shutter clicks ] 216 00:04:43,018 --> 00:04:44,027 He'd probably call it a 217 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:46,003 Split-level, I betcha. 218 00:04:46,005 --> 00:04:47,004 >> rusty: hell yeah! 219 00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:48,006 We got us a basement! 220 00:04:48,008 --> 00:04:49,003 >> granny: yeah! 221 00:04:49,005 --> 00:04:50,014 >> rusty: we gonna have us some 222 00:04:50,016 --> 00:04:50,029 Fun! 223 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:52,009 >> granny: we can finally get 224 00:04:52,011 --> 00:04:53,019 The bumper pool table out the 225 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:54,006 Yard. 226 00:04:54,008 --> 00:04:55,003 >> early: lil! 227 00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:56,009 Get your ass out here! 228 00:04:56,011 --> 00:04:57,018 You got some questions to 229 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,007 Answer! 230 00:04:58,009 --> 00:05:00,000 Like -- like how you play bumper 231 00:05:00,002 --> 00:05:00,011 Pool. 232 00:05:00,013 --> 00:05:02,003 And why them bumpers so close to 233 00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:02,018 The hole. 234 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:04,001 It don't make no sense. 235 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:04,017 [ grunts ] 236 00:05:04,019 --> 00:05:05,003 Lil! 237 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:05,027 [ gunshot ] 238 00:05:05,029 --> 00:05:06,019 What in the hell?! 239 00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:08,007 >> lil: ain't no one goin' down 240 00:05:08,009 --> 00:05:08,018 There. 241 00:05:08,020 --> 00:05:10,005 We shippin' out in three days. 242 00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:11,012 >> granny: it's a front?! 243 00:05:11,014 --> 00:05:12,013 >> early: [ laughs ] 244 00:05:12,015 --> 00:05:13,008 Novelty vomit. 245 00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:14,014 >> granny: she fooled us! 246 00:05:14,016 --> 00:05:15,014 >> early: oh, well. 247 00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:17,002 [ grunting ] Lift up the house. 248 00:05:17,004 --> 00:05:18,027 I'm takin' all your drugs. 249 00:05:18,029 --> 00:05:19,018 [ laughs ] 250 00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:20,019 [ guns cock ] 251 00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:21,013 What the he-- 252 00:05:21,015 --> 00:05:22,026 >> lil: you want some of my 253 00:05:22,028 --> 00:05:23,006 Weed? 254 00:05:23,008 --> 00:05:24,016 You got to get a prescription. 255 00:05:24,018 --> 00:05:26,003 >> early: now, remember what I 256 00:05:26,005 --> 00:05:26,018 Said, now. 257 00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:27,029 Keep your story straight. 258 00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:29,007 You been strugglin' with the 259 00:05:29,009 --> 00:05:30,026 Lower-back pain, and 260 00:05:30,028 --> 00:05:32,003 Degenerative eye condition. 261 00:05:32,005 --> 00:05:33,003 >> granny: no, I -- 262 00:05:33,005 --> 00:05:34,005 >> early: yes...You...Do! 263 00:05:34,007 --> 00:05:35,005 >> granny: [ groans ] 264 00:05:35,007 --> 00:05:36,005 >> okay, uh... 265 00:05:36,007 --> 00:05:37,008 Oh. Yeah. 266 00:05:37,010 --> 00:05:40,000 Looks like a hernisnated disc 267 00:05:40,002 --> 00:05:42,010 And, uh, a case of the old 268 00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:43,014 Glo-cauma. 269 00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:45,028 So I'm gonna go with, uh, 270 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,002 Marijuana. 271 00:05:47,004 --> 00:05:48,012 >> granny: hooray! 272 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,002 Ohh. 273 00:05:49,004 --> 00:05:50,012 >> early: finally! 274 00:05:50,014 --> 00:05:52,020 I can feel comfortable in social 275 00:05:52,022 --> 00:05:53,020 Situations! 276 00:05:53,022 --> 00:05:55,000 You get them hands up where I 277 00:05:55,002 --> 00:05:55,014 Can see 'em. 278 00:05:55,016 --> 00:05:56,003 >> okeydoke. 279 00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:57,010 >> early: I can't -- I can't see 280 00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:57,029 Your hands. 281 00:05:58,001 --> 00:05:59,002 Where the hell your hands at? 282 00:05:59,004 --> 00:06:00,001 >> granny: [ giggling ] 283 00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:00,020 >> is that better? 284 00:06:00,022 --> 00:06:01,029 >> early: ooh. There they are. 285 00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:02,015 All right, now. 286 00:06:02,017 --> 00:06:03,027 What was I gonna do here? 287 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,010 >> let me just turn this around. 288 00:06:05,012 --> 00:06:06,027 >> early: that's right -- the 289 00:06:06,029 --> 00:06:08,008 Boom-boom comes out that end. 290 00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:10,001 Ooh. 291 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,003 All right. 292 00:06:11,005 --> 00:06:13,005 You... 293 00:06:16,004 --> 00:06:17,001 Uhhhh... 294 00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:18,018 >> granny: this is frozen. 295 00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:20,016 >> early: I'll have every corn 296 00:06:20,018 --> 00:06:21,006 Dog... 297 00:06:21,008 --> 00:06:22,012 And some little doughnuts... 298 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,000 >> okay. 299 00:06:23,002 --> 00:06:24,001 >> granny: [ laughing ] 300 00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:25,003 >> early: four or five. 301 00:06:25,005 --> 00:06:26,027 >> here you go, early. 302 00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:29,001 >> early: mmm. Mmm. 303 00:06:29,003 --> 00:06:30,006 This is a robbery. 304 00:06:30,008 --> 00:06:32,028 >> granny: [ laughs ] 305 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:33,013 >> early: hey. 306 00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:34,015 I need me some clean urine 307 00:06:34,017 --> 00:06:35,004 Right now! 308 00:06:35,006 --> 00:06:36,004 >> you know they don't -- 309 00:06:36,006 --> 00:06:37,009 >> early: people been a-watchin' 310 00:06:37,011 --> 00:06:37,017 Me. 311 00:06:37,019 --> 00:06:38,014 >> ...Drug-test here. 312 00:06:38,016 --> 00:06:39,026 >> early: I need what I need, so 313 00:06:39,028 --> 00:06:40,013 Piss in the mug! 314 00:06:40,015 --> 00:06:42,000 Come on. Here we go. 315 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,007 Shake the dew off. 316 00:06:43,009 --> 00:06:44,008 I'll catch it. 317 00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:46,006 Come on. Take your leak, now. 318 00:06:46,008 --> 00:06:48,012 >> [ urinating ] 319 00:06:48,014 --> 00:06:51,001 >> dan halen: gentlemen. 320 00:06:51,003 --> 00:06:52,007 >> early: wha... 321 00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:53,012 I ain't on drugs. 322 00:06:54,017 --> 00:06:56,005 You think I'm on drugs? 323 00:06:56,007 --> 00:06:58,005 Uh, ain't nobody here on drugs. 324 00:06:58,007 --> 00:06:59,011 >> that's, uh, that's my 325 00:06:59,013 --> 00:07:00,014 Father's day mug, so -- 326 00:07:00,016 --> 00:07:01,028 >> early: I know that, glenn. 327 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,001 I got it off your desk. 328 00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:03,027 "Best dad ever!!!" 329 00:07:03,029 --> 00:07:04,012 [ laughs ] 330 00:07:04,014 --> 00:07:05,026 Your stupid young'uns are the 331 00:07:05,028 --> 00:07:07,017 Ones on drugs. 332 00:07:07,019 --> 00:07:10,014 Ahhh. Oh, yeah. 333 00:07:10,016 --> 00:07:12,017 This almost makes me not want to 334 00:07:12,019 --> 00:07:15,011 Stalk that abortion doctor. 335 00:07:15,013 --> 00:07:16,019 [ sighs ] 336 00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:17,009 Yeah. 337 00:07:17,011 --> 00:07:18,014 [ goggles whir ] 338 00:07:18,016 --> 00:07:20,018 Almost. 339 00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,014 Mm. Look at that sky. 340 00:07:22,016 --> 00:07:23,018 >> granny: oh, yeah. 341 00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:25,011 >> early: blows my mind to think 342 00:07:25,013 --> 00:07:27,002 That adam and eve used to bump 343 00:07:27,004 --> 00:07:28,015 The uglies right here, under 344 00:07:28,017 --> 00:07:30,005 These same stars, lo them 300 345 00:07:30,007 --> 00:07:30,027 Year ago. 346 00:07:30,029 --> 00:07:32,002 >> granny: [ laughs ] 347 00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:33,009 >> sheriff: I-I hate to 348 00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:35,000 Interrupt you and all, but did 349 00:07:35,002 --> 00:07:36,014 You know you was doin' 3 in a 350 00:07:36,016 --> 00:07:36,029 55? 351 00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,016 >> early: hell, I ain't drivin'. 352 00:07:38,018 --> 00:07:39,027 >> granny: [ laughs ] 353 00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:40,029 >> sheriff: where you headed 354 00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:41,013 Tonight, son? 355 00:07:41,015 --> 00:07:42,013 >> early: where are we 356 00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,006 Headed, sheriff? 357 00:07:43,008 --> 00:07:44,002 >> granny: [ laughs ] 358 00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:45,002 >> early: that's the 359 00:07:45,004 --> 00:07:47,016 Question, ain't it? 360 00:07:47,018 --> 00:07:49,001 >> sheriff: [ laughs ] 361 00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:49,028 You're right. 362 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,017 Whoo, boy. My thumb 363 00:07:51,019 --> 00:07:53,012 I just never noticed it before. 364 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,008 [ chuckles ] 365 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:56,000 >> early: the lord god didn't 366 00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:57,011 Put no thumb on my hand. 367 00:07:57,013 --> 00:07:58,008 You know why? 368 00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,004 >> granny: that's 'cause... 369 00:08:00,006 --> 00:08:01,029 God only don't...Give you no 370 00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:04,000 What he knows you can't handle. 371 00:08:04,002 --> 00:08:05,007 >> early: exactly. 372 00:08:05,009 --> 00:08:06,016 >> granny: sheriff. 373 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:08,002 [ rock music plays ] 374 00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:09,015 >> ♪ oh, the bakin' blues ♪ 375 00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:11,014 >> early: damn. Listen to that. 376 00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:13,003 >> sheriff: [ coughing ] 377 00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:14,003 >> early: mm. 378 00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:15,025 That there is a stone-cold 379 00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:16,010 Groove. 380 00:08:16,012 --> 00:08:18,008 >> sheriff: look at that thumb. 381 00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:20,000 It was there all the time. 382 00:08:20,002 --> 00:08:21,013 >> early: come on, now. 383 00:08:21,015 --> 00:08:23,010 Let's all us wiggle-dance now. 384 00:08:23,012 --> 00:08:23,029 Whoo! 385 00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:27,003 >> granny: ooh, I love wigglin'. 386 00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:29,018 >> ♪ smokin' granny's panties ♪ 387 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:34,010 ♪ lord, make me squeal ♪ 388 00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:35,010 >> sheriff: hell yeah! 389 00:08:35,012 --> 00:08:37,018 >> ♪ one in the morning ♪ 390 00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:40,001 ♪ smokin' granny's panties makes 391 00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:42,029 Me feel ♪ 392 00:08:43,001 --> 00:08:44,018 ♪ aww! ♪ 393 00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:47,010 [ glasses whirring, beeping ] 394 00:08:51,017 --> 00:08:52,018 Thank you, dougal county! 395 00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:53,016 >> early: hell yeah! 396 00:08:53,018 --> 00:08:54,009 >> thank you! 397 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,012 >> early: coconuts, baby! 398 00:08:55,014 --> 00:08:56,011 >> sheriff: coconuts! 399 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,005 >> early: whoo! 400 00:08:57,007 --> 00:08:58,006 [ guns cock, feedback ] 401 00:08:58,008 --> 00:08:59,007 >> gbi! On the floor! 402 00:08:59,009 --> 00:09:00,013 Lock it down! Lock it down! 403 00:09:00,015 --> 00:09:01,017 >> early: whoa, now! Whoa! 404 00:09:01,019 --> 00:09:02,018 >> sheriff: oh, hell. 405 00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:03,016 >> early: hold on, 406 00:09:03,018 --> 00:09:04,013 Widespread panic! 407 00:09:04,015 --> 00:09:05,004 Y'all cops? 408 00:09:05,006 --> 00:09:05,027 >> yeah, man. 409 00:09:05,029 --> 00:09:06,029 You know, we just said that. 410 00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:08,001 >> sheriff: [ thinking ] 411 00:09:09,027 --> 00:09:10,028 >> early: I-it -- it ain't me! 412 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,014 It's the bitch! 413 00:09:11,016 --> 00:09:12,018 >> granny: yeah, she's the one. 414 00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,026 >> early: she runs the whole 415 00:09:13,028 --> 00:09:14,007 Operation! 416 00:09:14,009 --> 00:09:15,006 >> get the emts in here. 417 00:09:15,008 --> 00:09:16,010 It looks like he's given her an 418 00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:16,027 Overdose. 419 00:09:16,029 --> 00:09:18,002 >> early: she's cuttin' her eyes 420 00:09:18,004 --> 00:09:18,011 At me! 421 00:09:18,013 --> 00:09:19,009 >> granny: she's fakin'! 422 00:09:19,011 --> 00:09:20,008 >> early: come on, look! 423 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:20,029 She's a faker! 424 00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:22,002 >> sheriff: 425 00:09:24,017 --> 00:09:25,010 [ all muttering ] 426 00:09:25,012 --> 00:09:26,016 >> what the hell are all those 427 00:09:26,018 --> 00:09:27,018 Nude mexicans doing here? 428 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,018 >> early: they, uh... 429 00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:30,000 >> granny: they're my nannies. 430 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,005 >> early: yeah, t-they're all 431 00:09:31,007 --> 00:09:31,017 Nannies. 432 00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:32,015 You know, for my boy. 433 00:09:32,017 --> 00:09:34,003 >> 15 naked male nannies? 434 00:09:34,005 --> 00:09:35,019 >> granny: he's got a lot of 435 00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:36,012 Problems. 436 00:09:36,014 --> 00:09:38,005 >> sheriff: 437 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,026 Down on the floor! 438 00:09:41,028 --> 00:09:42,008 [ gunshots ] 439 00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:43,005 Everybody on the floor! 440 00:09:43,007 --> 00:09:45,002 Me too. 441 00:09:45,004 --> 00:09:47,005 We're all on the same level now. 442 00:09:47,007 --> 00:09:49,003 We're all at the same place. 443 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,000 Nobody's above anybody else. 444 00:09:51,002 --> 00:09:53,018 Everybody's the same now. 445 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:55,007 [ thinking ] 446 00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:57,009 >> jackpot. 447 00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:58,015 This is the stuff. 448 00:09:58,017 --> 00:10:00,000 >> round it up, boys. 449 00:10:00,002 --> 00:10:01,006 It's 450 00:10:01,008 --> 00:10:03,003 >> maybe we should ignite some 451 00:10:03,005 --> 00:10:04,018 Of this in the mobile lab. 452 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,002 Uh, you know, just to see how 453 00:10:06,004 --> 00:10:06,019 Strong it is. 454 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:08,006 >> so that no one ever again can 455 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,011 Smoke this particular...Weed... 456 00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:11,005 Without us. 457 00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:12,027 >> early: ain't y'all gonna do 458 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,029 The handcuffs now? 459 00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:15,014 Or you must have a little bit 460 00:10:15,016 --> 00:10:16,018 Different procedure? 461 00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:18,002 >> uh... 462 00:10:18,004 --> 00:10:19,012 >> um, this is just a verbal 463 00:10:19,014 --> 00:10:20,016 Warning. 464 00:10:20,018 --> 00:10:21,016 >> drugs are bad. 465 00:10:21,018 --> 00:10:22,012 >> uh, see ya. 466 00:10:22,014 --> 00:10:23,013 >> stay in school! 467 00:10:23,015 --> 00:10:25,006 [ tires squeal, sirens wail ] 468 00:10:25,008 --> 00:10:26,010 >> was that widespread panic? 469 00:10:26,012 --> 00:10:27,014 >> looks like they got all of 470 00:10:27,016 --> 00:10:27,028 It. 471 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:28,017 >> again? Damn it! 472 00:10:28,019 --> 00:10:29,028 >> rusty: they didn't get 473 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,006 One. 474 00:10:30,008 --> 00:10:31,007 >> early: well, hell yeah! 475 00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:32,010 >> granny: let's light this 476 00:10:32,012 --> 00:10:32,019 Doob. 477 00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:33,018 >> early: come on, now! 478 00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:36,018 Let's blaze one up! Whoo! 479 00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:38,017 I mean... 480 00:10:38,019 --> 00:10:40,013 Let's destroy it... 481 00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,005 In accordance with local 482 00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:42,021 Statutes. 483 00:10:42,023 --> 00:10:43,020 >> you're under arrest. 484 00:10:43,022 --> 00:10:44,015 >> early: damn it! 485 00:10:44,017 --> 00:10:45,008 >> granny: ohh! 486 00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:46,011 >> rusty: now, hang on, now. 487 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,017 Even the fda considers marijuana 488 00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:49,008 Non-addictive. 489 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,020 Do you know that there was over 490 00:10:50,022 --> 00:10:53,007 435,000 tobacco- and 491 00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:54,029 Alcohol-related deaths last 492 00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:55,012 Year? 493 00:10:55,014 --> 00:10:57,001 You know how many people 494 00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:58,005 Marijuana killed? 495 00:10:58,007 --> 00:10:58,016 One. 496 00:10:58,018 --> 00:11:00,006 One dumbass who tried to 497 00:11:00,008 --> 00:11:01,017 Hacky sack a tarantula. 498 00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:03,015 Now, gentlemen, my point is, I 499 00:11:03,017 --> 00:11:04,029 Urge you to take -- 500 00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:05,029 >> early: damn it to hell! 501 00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:06,026 >> rusty: sorry, daddy. 502 00:11:06,028 --> 00:11:07,018 >> granny: what are you -- 503 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:08,007 A lobbyist? 504 00:11:08,009 --> 00:11:09,009 >> rusty: I didn't mean to get 505 00:11:09,011 --> 00:11:10,009 Us in here and everything. 506 00:11:10,011 --> 00:11:11,004 >> early: look here. 507 00:11:11,006 --> 00:11:13,010 Marijuana ain't gonna get us 508 00:11:13,012 --> 00:11:14,008 Nowhere. 509 00:11:14,010 --> 00:11:16,009 That's pretty damn clear. 510 00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:18,002 But I'll tell you what -- that 511 00:11:18,004 --> 00:11:19,020 Lemon-scented toilet wine will 512 00:11:19,022 --> 00:11:21,007 Show you the face of god! 513 00:11:21,009 --> 00:11:22,009 >> rusty: w-w-what is this 514 00:11:22,011 --> 00:11:22,019 Stuff? 515 00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:23,020 Is this furniture polish? 516 00:11:23,022 --> 00:11:24,017 >> early: [ coughs ] 517 00:11:24,019 --> 00:11:26,019 [ country music plays ] 31298

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.