Original subtitles

[ radio static ]

♪ [ country music plays ] ♪

♪ I gave all my best years

To that woman ♪

♪ all she gave me

Was mouths to feed ♪

♪ miracles straight from

The loins of jesus ♪

♪ since charlie blew off

Both my testes ♪

♪ 1969 cam ranh bay ♪

>> rusty: my turn!

>> early: hell naw.

>> let me drive that thing!

>> do not touch the trim!

>> [ snoring ]

Oh, sumbitch.

>> alright, bar's closed!

>> you heard the man,

You ain't gotta go home

But you can't--

[ snoring ]

>> actually, early I'm...

>> huh!?

>> ...Talking to you.

>> aw, come on now!

The night is young!

>> the night is gone.

>> well, I guess I'll call it

A night.

Just let me get me three of them

Frozen mojitos in the kenny

Chesney collector boots.

For the road.

Zoom, zoom!

[ snoring ]

>> we don't do to go orders.

>> alright!

Then I'll have 'em here!

I'm just pulling

Your pud, ellis.

I got to get on to work.

Uh, how bout just having

Somebody drop off them

Chesney boots to me up at my

Office place?

[ snoring ]

>> sheriff: uh, hey early.

>> huh? Huh!? What you say!?

>> you uh, got a ride home

Ain't ya?

>> you bet your ass I do.

I got the need for speed!

And dickie sells that

Two counties over so I got

To get on the road here.

>> uh, sorry son, but you

Ain't about to take that truck

Outta here.

>> yea, you right, you right.

I'll take the boat!

>> early...

>> now who wins?

>> early, come on now.

>> fine, I get it.

I got a problem.

Lookie here, jingle jangle!

>> early, come on. Quit it.

You know I go that issue

With my arches.

>> yo!

Get the hell out of the way!

Get the hell out of the way!

>> we got a 10-51

Outside the jiggle hut.

[ crash ]

Scratch that --

Inside the jiggle hut.

>> they hit me.

>> officer in pursuit.

>> fat bitch.

>> uh, so you see, while rage

May be momentarily satisfying,

It is not necessarily the answer

To every problem.

>> it helped out o.J. Make

His wife stop cheating on him.

>> yeah, rage did kinda

Pretty much work out in that

One instance there.

>> what about dui,

Attempted vehicular homicide,

Destruction of property?

>> calm down ellis, you're

Gonna have to deal with your

Anger, too, here sport.

>> I got hit by a truck

Inside my own bar!

He should be in jail!

And what's this guy doing here?

He's not angry, he's a freak.

>> now I told y'all,

Everybody's gonna be here

In anger management until

We finish the jail renovation.

>> that why the sales tax

Got jacked up?

To renovate the jail?

For that son of a bitch?

>> well, he did made some

Requests, and we are at the

Service of our constituents,

Ya know.

>> I told you now, I'll start

Breakin' the law over there in

Colquitt county where they got

The tivo and pillow top

Mattresses.

>> he should be in jail!

>> I'm about to catch up on

My mad men!

>> alright everybody just

Calm down, now.

And let's get on track here.

I want everybody here to look

Over at your hug buddy.

Look him right in the eye...

Well shoot let's see we've got

Uneven numbers here.

Early, so uh, you're gonna have

To work with the cpr doll.

>> ohhhh.

>> early?

>> we working.

Yeah, we working just fine!

>> I don't give a damn

If it was a doll, early.

No means no!

>> it wasn't nothing but

A back rub.

>> back rubs happen on the

Outside.

With hands.

>> you got to pick

Everything apart.

I'm out here busting my hump,

Trying to give back to those

Who helped me.

>> yeah you're giving back,

But don't forget you're also

Doing the community service

Hours you were sentenced to.

>> the point is I'm reinvesting

In the community.

>> okay, that is true.

But to be fair, early --

>> selfless acts for the good

Of all.

>> well let's just be clear

Now, you're also giving back

Because you were told to

By a court of law.

>> don't lord it over me.

>> alright.

>> I'm sitting here paying

It forward and you wanna light

A damn fire?

>> where'd you get them shoes?

>> they mine from home.

>> wingtips, huh?

>> you bet.

>> brand new too.

Hmm.

>> hell, I'm gonna put my best

Foot forward while I'm serving

The community by my own choice.

[ muffled screams ]

>> uh, where's your trash bag,

Early?

>> I filled it up.

Aww, come on!

Ain't no damn way you counted

To 400 yet!!

>> this damn jail can't hold

Me baby!

>> well --

>> no jail can hold my ass!

>> fernando and the boys,

They needed a couple of weeks

More so it looks like I'm gonna

Have to release you.

>> I get rid of this here

Scaffold.

Put a flat screen here.

Open up the whole room.

>> but I'm going to tell you

This right now.

If you so much as raise

A finger to anybody in this

Community, I'm gonna have to

Bring you right back over here

And release you all over again.

Are we clear on that?

>> krystal.

>> alright.

Mighty fine.

>> krystal?

Ain't that the name of his

Ex wife?

>> early, no!

>> me and you's about to

Have words, little gal!

[ grunting ]

[ sirens ]

>> stop in the name of the law!

>> no! My baby bride!

She was so young!

So fine!

What in the hell have I done?

>> what the hell you done do

To my decoy?

>> oh krystal, you're alive!

>> oh, I use that to retain

My squatters rights while I go

Down to get my milkshake on.

>> if I can't have you,

Nobody will!

Get down here! Get!

>> hey, nuh uh!

>> early!

It's time to make a change.

>> I know better.

That ain't all.

>> this here's a outrage!

>> come on.

Keep a piling.

>> who watches the watchmen?!

>> really?

A grenade launcher, huh?

>> self defense.

>> I'm not afraid to do

This, now.

>> no!

It's my 19th amendment right!

That's where that went.

>> where is that damn scope?

>> damn, you take all the guns,

All the criminals will

Have guns.

>> there it is.

>> ow, put that back.

I'm using that to prop up

My face.

>> sorry.

>> the hat too, early.

>> whoa now!

This hat is licensed and

Registered with the state!

>> then why'd you mark off

That serial number?

>> aw damn it!

>> no!

My anger is destroying both me

And charlie daniels, both!

Oh!

>> it's time to get on

With the healing now, early.

>> whoa, what happened here?

>> get out.

>> that don't surprise me

With all the damn beers

And alcohol you serve.

>> get out.

>> stay on message, early.

>> nevermind.

Iced tea for me, barkeep.

>> get out!

>> look, ellis, I'm sorry

For what I done.

You are a victim.

And in a way, we all victims...

Of your tendency

To over-serve me.

>> get out!

>> but it's alright,

I forgive you.

Hey, let's celebrate.

Reckon there's any alcohol

In these bar mats?

>> early!

>> give me a second I'll get

Some out.

>> get out!

>> uh, let's go, early.

Healing takes time.

>> time won't heal my spine.

They said it's degenerative now.

>> you wanna die?!

>> early!

>> little gal, I'm sorry we had

So much trouble communicating.

You know what they say,

Mans are from mars, and womans

Are from the rib of them mans.

But wheres the cheating whores

Come from?

I do not know.

I suppose I ought to ask

Your momma.

>> early.

>> oh, I'm sorry.

Darling, I ain't here to gloat.

I'm here to build a bridge.

>> krystal?

Uh, damn decoy!

>> no, that's me.

I'm just ignoring you.

>> dammit!

>> early.

>> oh yeah, yeah that's right.

Darling what can I do?

How can I make it right?

>> well, you can run this

Camera.

>> what the?!

>> we need cutaways for

The money shot.

>> is this the sumbitch that

Gave you the gonorrhea?

>> now that ain't the one

That make you blind is it?

>> I don't know, it ain't

Blinded me yet, and momma likes

What momma sees.

>> well let's get this done!

>> hold on...

>> coochie coo.

>> let me white balance.

>> now for my final apologies,

To those I've hurt the most,

And who mean the most to me.

To you, possum.

It was about meat my friend.

Nothing personal.

And you, whatever you are,

I shouldn't have never hunted

You with dynamite.

Hopefully your pieces will

Reassemble in heaven.

And finally to you, terry trout,

No apology necessary.

>> ♪ splashing down the river ♪

>> never was a welfare check

Spent more wisely!

>> ♪ cause that's where

My baby's gone ♪

>> daddy, you gonna apologize

To us too?

>> for what?

>> well, there was that one

Time when the...

Aah!

Aaaahh!

[ groans ]

>> get outta my way!

Shut your damn mouth!

Ruin the damn plan!

[ grunting ]

[ granny screaming ]

>> well, you're gonna have

To shoot me fir--

>> I don't remember none of

That.

Random isolated incidents.

>> hold on now.

Some of them things took

Planning and consideration.

>> some of them things

You even had to train for!

>> hold on now.

>> ♪ splashing down the river ♪

>> yeah! Ha ha, ha ha!

Singing damn fish!

I love it! I love it.

>> uh, daddy?

>> don't not one of you damn

Son of bitches ever talk

Another word during my song

From my electronical musical

Fish!!

[ footsteps approach ]

>> see.

Wind chimes.

We've got an open door policy

Here now.

We just ask that you keep it

Closed, out of respect for

My authority.

>> what the hell?

This ain't true hd!

>> it's a up-rez.

>> lookie here.

I can see all kinds of digital

Noise in this compression.

I mean come on!

>> I don't.

>> it's supposed to be just

As good.

>> well you didn't get the damn

Blu ray like I asked for denny?

>> a damn antique.

I'm gone!

>> I think hd's pretty good.

>> blu-ray denny, dammit!

Captions provided

By turner studios.