Original subtitles

[static]

>> ♪ to run off and took her

Home and chicken

When I broke jail the house was

Burn to bare

[singing inaudibly]

Somedays life just don't seem

That fair

I don't even care

>> my turn!

>> hell no.

>> I want to drive that thing.

Come on.

>> don't touch the trim.

>> trabajo! Trabajo! Trabajo!

>> trabajo! Trabajo! Trabajo!

>> trabajo! Trabajo! Trabajo!

>> trabajo!

>> hell yeah I got yer bajo!

Come on y'all hop in everybody

Lets go.

>> what kind of job you need

All all these boys for?

>> the job is, y'all gonna jump

Off this here cliff.

>> si señor.

>> si.

>> come on now single file.

Get on now there's plenty of

Work for everybody.

>> job?

Job!

I'm a jober look at me at me go.

I'm strong.

>> no granny!

Granny goes off the cliff.

>> gonna be...Wahhh.

>> good job now.

>> this job sucks.

>> look daddy!

>> whoa whoa whoa mexico!

This ain't the job!

>> aw, that shade really opens

Up the entire ridge.

>> that really brings the earth

Tones outta the dirt.

>> alright fine.

And hang some drapes.

And when you finish, I still

Expect you gonna jump off this

Cliff.

>> you stealing american jobs

And I ain't gonna have it!

>> what job, daddy?

You ain't got no job.

>> you you ain't worked in

Months.

>> don't you shine a light on

Me!

I'm between opportunities!

Thank you very much.

Gimme a chance to get my damn

Mind straight!

>> I got a couple jobs for you

Big boy- wh- what the

Hel..Ahhhh!

>> (chanting) mexico!

Has to go!

You hiring work?

Say mexi-no!

Red white and blue!

Will work for you!

Except for the jobs that we

Won't do!

Hanging sheetrock - we won't do!

Painting houses - we won't do!

Anything septic - we won't do!

Drive for nascar - sure we'll

Do!

Talk about movies - yes, we'll

Do!

Toss me a frisbee - that sounds

Fun!

>> howdy friend!

You hear to hire you some

Red-blooded americans?

>> where're them other guys?

>> hell, they took a hot boxcar

Back to dirtville.

Red, white, and blue we'll do

It for you!

>> well, hell.

I'll need somebody to paint the

Inside of my chimney.

>> what we talkin' bout salary

Wise?

>> four dollars and uh, how's a

Cheeseburger sound?

>> signing bonus?

>> no.

>> you got paternity leave?

>> no.

>> accidental death and

Disemmemberment?

>> no.

>> daycare for the kid?

>> no.

>> company stock option plan?

>> naw.

>> so I won't be fully vested

In the company stock option

Plan?

>> no.

>> casual fridays?

>> today's saturday.

>> what kinda hours we talkin'

About?

>> today.

Saturday.

>> ooh, I was hoping to take

Some time off before this job.

>> get in.

>> four dollars, right?

>> and uh, the rest of this

Cheeseburger.

>> american cheese?

>> pepperjack.

>> no!

That's a mexican cheese!

>> hey daddy, how was work?

>> I ain't going back was how

It was!

Micromanaging my ass all damn

Day.

Cause them damn mexicans coming

Over here and taking all our

American jobs!

>> so basically you quit.

>> look here, if it weren't for

The damn mexicans doing these

Jobs, I wouldn't have to do

These jobs cause these jobs

Don't exist.

They're bringing the

Sumbitchin' jobs in, and then

They're taking them all away

From the tax-paying americans

That don't want to do the damn

Jobs!

Open yer damn eyes!

>> what the hell we gonna do?

>> I'd like to thank y'all for

Coming out here and joining our

Fine group of patriots, the

Fine ol' solution.

Yes, you in the front.

>> early, we're a nation of

Immigrants, people that come

Over here to start a better way

Of life.

I mean hell even your

Ancestors...Well,

Huh, I don't know where they

Came from...

Maybe a nuclear accident or

Space.

The point is, rusty asked me to

Nominate jimmy eat world as the

Group name.

>> hell yeah!

Jimmy eat world!

Jimmy eat world!

>> I got to admit, jimmy eat

World does have a ring to it.

>> irreverant.

Aspirational.

It speaks to my needs.

>> yeah that's good, I like

Jimmy eat world as a name.

>> alright damn it fine.

Jimmy eat world it is.

Stupid damn name makes me not

Even wanna do this mess.

>> well, how are you gonna keep

Them beaners out?

>> this here wall will

Encompass the entire dougal

County perimeter.

>> these here alligators gonna

Be running patrol shifts with

The grizzly bares and the

Sharks.

Now, they'll be genetically

Adapted to live on land and

Everything I mean we'll give

Them lungs so they can breath

The air.

>> yes, in the front.

>> a-are those, uh, patrol

Alligators, uh, gonna be uhhh

Trained to handle firearms or

What?

>> ah no, but the gorillas will

Be trained to handle the

Alligators.

What's gonna throw alligators

At the mexicans.

Next, uh you in front.

>> well, where we gonna get the

Money to train a bunch of

Alligator throwing gorillas?

>> I'm glad you asked that

Question.

This hat is gonna be going

Around so uh.

>> I ask that you please

Disregard the adequately

Descriptive fine ol' solution

Graphics...

>> so to clarify, we are trying

To keep all cheap unskilled

Labor from working here, in our

County, at my hot dog factory?

Hypothetically speaking.

I mean of course I never hire

Anyone who is not...

Right, sheriff?

>> well uh, I know you told me

To say I know you don't hire

Illegals.

And I'll say it too.

I don't want to lose my job to

No mexican.

>> maybe I should just move my

Hot dog factory to mexico, by

Eliminating their need to steal

American jobs because these

American jobs would in fact

Already be mexican jobs.

>> hell yeah!

Put it down there where they

Are!

They trying to steal our

American jobs!

>> you've mentioned that, yes.

Come to think of it, I- I will

Support your moronic enterprise.

But on one condition.

>> it's impenetrable!

>> damn it!

>> daddy, that wa- that wall

Ain't gonna keep nobody out.

>> it's really more of a pile

There rusty.

And the workmanship is, well,

Questionable.

>> damn light beer cans!

I knowed I shoulda gone with

The damn bricks over there!

>> where's the talking gorillas

Supposed to stand.

>> we're gonna have to hire

Some help boys.

>> we out of money!

I spent it all on these adult

Concerns and asian massage!

Keeping illegals out gets me so

Damn stressed.

>> well we got all the tools

And all the supplies.

>> but it is hot.

And looks like this will take

Longer than five minutes.

>> that there's good work,

Illegals.

And y'all gonna stay the hell

Out of my country, soon as you

Finish now.

And what in the hell is this?

I told you I wanted decorative

Skeletons every six foot, heck

That ain't gonna pass

Inspection.

>> the madonna and child

They shall come before it to

Pray...

>> and to die.

Land-mines here, here, and here.

Step back now, motion activated.

>> bahahh!

>> you.

What do you fear most?!

>> public speaking, mang.

I hate it mang.

>> podiums, teleprompters,

Microphones here, here, and

Here.

And you, do not picture us in

Our, roll up the damn

Prompter...

Underwear!

It's grab ass hour out here

Lets go.

>> that's right.

You just mortar yourself out.

>> good job.

Go on back to mexico.

>> adios amigos.

>> (sings) this is our country.

>> adios adios.

>> now, early you do realize

This wall just surrounds your

Property, right?

>> almost surrounds it.

>> ah damnit!

>> finally!

Sovereign american soil!

Open for business!

>> how am I gonna get to my job

At the hot dog factory?

>> yeah, I freelance over there

Sometimes.

>> too bad.

That's gone to mexico.

>> then we oughta go down there

To mexico and steal them jobs

At the hot dog factory.

>> hell yeah!

>> let's do it.

>> woo!

>> aw hell!

We're trapped!

>> uhh?

What now early?

>> we watch.

We wait.

And we keep them out.

And we keep them from commin

Over here and stealin--

>> yes

I know from stealing our jobs,

I heard you.

>> shhhh shhh shhh.

Mexican on the loose!

Fire the damn lasers!

Throw an amerigator!

Unleash american fury!

Go! Go! Go!

>> hold your fire, don't shoot

More gators.

Stop!...

That's a raccoon early.

>> uh, mexican raccoon?

Come to steal american raccoon

Jobs?

>> I think he's just trying to

Get a nut early.

>> fire the damn lasers!

>> oh, come on now.

Stop it!

>> right now-- go, go, go, go!

>> cut it out, stop!

>> damn it I need some conflict!

I thrive on it.

>> I thrive on food.

>> did we not wall in some food?

>> it's hot in here daddy.

I can't breathe.

>> I'm gonna slingshot you over

The wall, hopefully near a

Birthday party of some sort.

And when you get over there,

Make sure them mexicans ain't

Took our jobs.

>> how'm I gonna get back?

>> ok, make another slingshot,

But make sure you destroy the

Slingshot so no mexicans

Slingshot back over here and

Take all our american jobs what

Was meant for americans.

Also, bring back some damn food.

>> what you wanna eat?

>> I feel funny sayin this

But...

I'm craving tacos.

>> alright daddy.

>> america is number one.

>> america is number one.

>> fire.

>> aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

>> and let's do the cheese dip,

Too!

>> ah oww!

Hmmm, kind of looks nice.

>> piñata, piñata.

>> no wait, hold on, hold on.

Ow, my balls.

>> meat!

>> mine.

>> a letter!

Written in jibberish.

>> who here speaks jibberish?

Sheriff?

>> oh that's right.

We done ate that sonmabitch.

>> now let me see here.

Ola...Olllla.

>> dearest father, I hope this

Letter finds you well.

Over the last few months I've

Come to realize that the enemy

Was us.

But more specifically, it was

You.

>> we're having a parade in

Your honor, to celebrate

Walling you in.

I would invite you, but you're

Walled in.

If you need any sheetrock work

Done I- I know a guy.

>> your new grandson.

Mexican women like to marry me

Cause I'm handsome and on the

Ball.

Yours truly, russel esposito.

Ps I took my wife's name so no

One thinks I'm related to you.

>> (reads)

Ol...Ol...Oolll...Olla....

Hola.

>> ain't no letter worth

Nothing ever wrote by a damn

Bird!

>> mmmmm.

>> the bird is mine!