Original subtitles

[static]

- ♪ my dreams are all Dead and buried ♪

♪ sometimes I wish the sun Would just explode ♪

♪ when god comes and calls me To his kingdom ♪

♪ I'll take all you Sons of bitches when I go ♪

♪ [yodeling]

- my turn. - hell no.

- hey, man, lemme drive That thing, c'mon!

- do not touch the trim!

- aw...

- hell yeah.

- hell yes'm.

- aw, hell.

- hey! No!

- brother early! - shh!

- brother!

- hush, hush. Shut the hell up.

- just turn it down A wee bit lower...

During the moment of silence.

- woo!

Hey, boy, let's us have Some communion.

- you know, we only do that On special occasions.

- you saying the lord Ain't special?

- no!

- is that what You're implifying?

- what I mean is-- - here's to ya, jesus.

One solid dude.

- early, you know we changed That to grape juice.

- aw, dammit!

- put down the chalice, now...

- pick up the money, Take the money.

- early, no! - early, yes!

- don't forget to bring The plate back!

- woo!

- good luck buying on sunday!

- I'll have me three cases Of glug lite ice.

- yes, sir, yes, sir.

- jug of wild cherry nightmare, Chilled.

- ok, chilled, yes, of course.

Early, don't hurt me, Don't hurt me.

- and a wax rose for my lady.

- oh, early, You buying this with money?

Oh!

- nope!

- well, that's good, early, 'cause you know

You're not supposed to buy Alcohol on sunday!

- and you can't brush your damn Teeth without a damn hook.

- he done shot off my hand.

- oh, early.

I was gonna come see if you Wanted to play racquetball,

But now I guess We'll just be doing this,

Won't we?

Well, lookee here.

Says dan halen's funding Some kind of clone farm

Out in shaver county.

- hmm...

That don't seem legal.

- or ethical.

- maybe y'all should do A little less reading

And a little More trash taking out.

- you ain't my daddy.

I do what I want.

- hey, you think I'm drunk? - yes.

- you give me that Breatheramatornator

And light it up.

We'll see.

- now, just take this here and Put the blue end in your mouth.

- I know the damn drill.

Been pulled over many times.

[beeping]

Three more seconds.

[farts]

[dings]

- .63?

- hey, that's good, ain't it?

- ha ha! Boy, that's well beyond Human limits there.

- for real? - early, what are you doing?

- making a cocktail. - early!

- just a little hair Of the dog.

> now, that ain't gonna work, Early.

The alcohol, you see, is Filtered down in your liver

And stored in the pancreas...

I think.

- uh, can you just point to it.

[thud]

- uh, hey, daddy.

- uh...

- ain't you gonna beat my ass?

Work out your frustrations?

About always being behind The 8-ball and everything?

Being this close To something real

Just to get knocked back Down again?

- yeah, then you finish With him

And take to wailing on me.

You know...

You challenge me on something I can't possibly answer,

Like, "Hey, why's it still dark, Bitch?"

- ha ha! That sounds Like something I'd say.

- then you unleash the thunder.

- oh, my patience is thin.

Anyway, how was your day, son?

- uh, it was good, you know.

I mean, you didn't whoop my ass Or nothin'.

That's always a plus.

- all in all, it was A pretty good day.

Yeah.

- didn't ask you, But all right.

So, y'all want to go to town

And get some ice cream On your daddy?

- you talking about ice cream?

Hell yeah, I'm gonna go Get me some--

- hell no, that's stupid.

I can't even tell a damn funny Joke with you dumb asses.

Now, you fetch me some damn Drinking liquor.

- aw, come on, daddy, you ain't Got to drink to have fun.

Why don't you stay around Here with us?

- look, there's A new spider web.

- oh, god.

- I'll get him.

- son of a...

- [mother mumbling]

[fly buzzing]

Oh, leave...

- oh...

[heavy drag on cigarette]

- [coughing and hacking]

- er...

- ah, gotcha.

- uh...

- ha ha!

- [yelling]

- mm...

- [laughter]

- ha ha!

- and...

Dismount!

Stuck it.

Perfect 10, bitches.

Oh!

- aw, dammit I'm bored!

- ha ha ha!

- dammit, what the hell Are you watching?

- ha ha! "Good times."

Ha ha, go, j.J.

Ha ha!

- turn it.

- no. I like "Good times."

- you 'bout to have you Some bad times

When I drop an atomic Elbow on that damn skull.

You understand what I'm saying, Little gal?

- ha ha!

- you better listen to me!

I'm gonna crack that damn Orbital bone!

- yeah.

You ain't as strong When you're sober.

- grr...

- dammit, I need me some Liquor!

[engine starts]

Grr...

- we don't sell alcohol on Sunday...

Or ever.

- what the hell did you say?

- this is a private residence.

- oh, I'm sorry For the forced intrusion.

How you doing, glen?

I didn't know ya lived here.

See ya monday!

Grr...

[tires squeal]

What the hell--

- sorry, you can't buy On sunday here.

- dammit!

That's a bunch of horse--

- sundays are dry here, too. - aw, hell.

- but the age of consent's Only 14.

Come on in and get you a wife, Stay awhile.

- oh, don't mind him. He's just after tourist money.

- dear lord, please allow This dangerous combination

Of hair spray, fat slobber,

And d.O.T. For automatic transmission fluid

To excite my mind, Occupy my spirits,

And enrage my body,

Provoking me to kick any man or Woman in the back of the head

Regardless of what he or she has Or has not done unto me.

All my best, early cuyler.

- amen.

- damn, that was gonna be A lambic triple bock.

- it don't have to be this way.

You vote yes on prop 421.

- bill, stand down!

- get off your duff, Make a change.

Every vote makes a-- [gunshot]

- sorry, early, that's my twin Brother phil from kansas.

[gunshot]

- sorry, early.

Just my twin brother phil From kansas...

Again. [gunshot]

- sorry, early, that's just My phil brother twin From kansas.

[gunshot]

- sorry, early, that's just-- [gunshot]

- sorry, early-- [gunshot]

- sorry, e-- [gunshots]

- don't mind him.

His name's phil.

- see ya later.

- vote yes, good citizens,

On proposition 421.

- vote no on prop 421!

It's the tool of the devil.

Represents and symbolizes All that is evil.

Sing it out.

Vote no on prop 421...

- oh, come on!

Allow me three minutes To speak my mind.

Democracy is all about Individual lib--

- clone army in position, sir.

- all right, You stupid clones,

Go forth...

And vote yes!

Do my bidding!

Ha ha!

Get in there, You pathetic sheep.

[door bell rings]

- oh, you must be phil.

I've heard so much About you...

About y'all.

- no, no, no! In there!

The courthouse, You stupid clones.

Ha ha!

Obey!

[ice cream truck music]

[marching slows]

- ice cream? - no, no!

Inside where the voting is!

- ice cream.

- [all yelling "Ice cream"]

- I will give you ice cream After the vote!

I have ice cream here! Look!

- and a child will lead them.

You got the wheel, bacon?

- hell, yeah. I'm driving!

Wa-hoo!

- keep the wheel straight. Just follow the sign there.

- "Hot fire straight ahead."

You want me to follow That one?

- thy will be done! - ice cream!

- ice cream! - ice cream!

- fire!

- fire!

- you're ruining everything!

That's not even an ice cream Truck!

Aah!

- seems to me if you bought Your sunday beer

On saturday night,

This becomes a complete Non-issue.

[engine starts]

Aah!

[explosion]

- inconvenient.