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1
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[static]
2
00:00:04,008 --> 00:00:06,000
[country music playing]
3
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- ♪ she run off
And took our only chicken ♪
4
00:00:11,015 --> 00:00:16,021
♪ when I broke jail
The house was burnt and bare ♪
5
00:00:16,023 --> 00:00:22,005
♪ the japs moved the plant
Back to osaky ♪
6
00:00:22,007 --> 00:00:25,019
♪ some days life just don't
Seem that fair ♪
7
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♪ I don't even care
8
00:00:27,024 --> 00:00:28,021
I'm telling you,
I just don't...
9
00:00:28,023 --> 00:00:30,011
- my turn!
- hell, no.
10
00:00:30,013 --> 00:00:31,029
- hey, man, let me drive
That thing! Come on!
11
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- do not touch the trim!
12
00:00:51,014 --> 00:00:54,010
- hey. You awake?
13
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:57,001
- she's been out
A couple of days.
14
00:00:57,003 --> 00:00:59,010
- avert your eyes, now.
We about to bond as a family.
15
00:00:59,012 --> 00:01:00,025
- daddy, what you doin'?
16
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,003
- what?
Hell, she was lookin' at me.
17
00:01:02,005 --> 00:01:03,020
We shared a damn moment!
18
00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:06,001
- early, your own sister?
19
00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:08,024
- but... I'm about
To lose my mind!
20
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,028
I got to get me some
Strange! Woohoo!
21
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,025
- go get you some! Woohoo!
22
00:01:12,027 --> 00:01:14,014
Go get you some
Damn strange, daddy!
23
00:01:14,016 --> 00:01:16,002
Hell, yeah, daddy...
24
00:01:16,004 --> 00:01:18,008
- hey.
25
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:20,016
You awake?
26
00:01:20,018 --> 00:01:22,019
- oh, that's right.
Two trucks.
27
00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:24,025
Sandwichin' a boat.
28
00:01:24,027 --> 00:01:27,022
Ah, I tool around town
Just a-hollerin' [slurps],
29
00:01:27,024 --> 00:01:30,022
But enough about me.
30
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:31,022
You ain't bed down
With uncle travis, have you?
31
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:34,007
- uh, early--
32
00:01:34,009 --> 00:01:36,002
- hell, that sumbitch got
The herpes simplex version one.
33
00:01:36,004 --> 00:01:37,026
I can't be attractin' that mess.
34
00:01:37,028 --> 00:01:40,005
- well, you ain't even gonna
Get that far,
35
00:01:40,007 --> 00:01:42,007
Meeting here
In the filling station toilet.
36
00:01:42,009 --> 00:01:43,024
- I need to be close
To them erotic oils
37
00:01:43,026 --> 00:01:45,004
In case things
Heat up.
38
00:01:45,006 --> 00:01:46,028
50 cents.
39
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,006
- that is a good price.
40
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:51,013
- shh, shh, shh.
41
00:01:51,015 --> 00:01:53,009
Hey, darlin'.
42
00:01:53,011 --> 00:01:57,001
That there's the key
To my heart you holdin'.
43
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:59,023
[tch tch]
44
00:01:59,025 --> 00:02:01,010
Wait a minute!
Come on back here!
45
00:02:01,012 --> 00:02:02,007
Hey, darlin'!
46
00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:03,014
- oh, just let her go.
47
00:02:03,016 --> 00:02:05,026
- damn internet datin'!
48
00:02:05,028 --> 00:02:08,007
♪ I brought her lots of
Pine cone liquor ♪
49
00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:10,016
♪ for chuggin'
50
00:02:10,018 --> 00:02:13,004
♪ I gave her 8 strong arms'
51
00:02:13,006 --> 00:02:15,025
♪ worth of huggin'
52
00:02:15,027 --> 00:02:20,016
♪ two hearts in love, we would
Frolic in the sand ♪
53
00:02:20,018 --> 00:02:24,002
♪ she tossed me up and cupped me
In her meaty hands ♪
54
00:02:24,004 --> 00:02:26,000
Hell, yeah.
55
00:02:26,002 --> 00:02:28,001
♪ I was walkin' tall,
My backbone straight ♪
56
00:02:28,003 --> 00:02:31,024
♪ and that ain't easy for
Invertebrates ♪
57
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:36,005
♪ but the tide would turn
And this squid would learn ♪
58
00:02:36,007 --> 00:02:38,000
♪ I'd meet my match
59
00:02:38,002 --> 00:02:40,007
♪ then I'd get burned
60
00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:48,027
♪ then we'd laid down
And conceived us a young'un ♪
61
00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:53,024
♪ but she forsook me and our son
For another ♪
62
00:02:53,026 --> 00:02:58,008
♪ I'd been so proud of our
Little family clan ♪
63
00:02:58,010 --> 00:03:00,000
♪ 'til I caught her
64
00:03:00,002 --> 00:03:03,012
♪ tradin' tongues
With old snake man ♪
65
00:03:03,014 --> 00:03:06,011
♪ now she's officially my ex
66
00:03:06,013 --> 00:03:10,002
♪ though I really do
Miss the sex ♪
67
00:03:10,004 --> 00:03:14,004
♪ to her I shall not return
68
00:03:14,006 --> 00:03:16,005
♪ I met my match
69
00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:19,018
♪ and I got burned
70
00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:22,002
♪ yes, I cut her
From my heart ♪
71
00:03:22,004 --> 00:03:25,024
♪ like a big, loud,
Stinkin' fart ♪
72
00:03:25,026 --> 00:03:30,002
♪ to her I shall never return
73
00:03:30,004 --> 00:03:31,024
♪ I met my match
74
00:03:31,026 --> 00:03:35,023
♪ and I got burned
75
00:03:35,025 --> 00:03:38,006
♪ burned
76
00:03:38,008 --> 00:03:42,007
♪ burned
77
00:03:42,009 --> 00:03:43,009
[tires screech]
78
00:03:43,011 --> 00:03:45,001
[honks horn]
79
00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:52,007
- what do you want, tug nut?
80
00:03:52,009 --> 00:03:53,015
- I was just on my way to go
Frog-diggin'
81
00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:54,026
Down there at the creek,
82
00:03:54,028 --> 00:03:56,021
And I thought to myself,
83
00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:59,001
"What's this fat-ass whore
Doing down here
84
00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:01,010
Whilst I'm so successful?"
85
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:03,026
- you ain't got no body,
86
00:04:03,028 --> 00:04:07,014
No-money-havin'
Green face of yours.
87
00:04:07,016 --> 00:04:09,003
- damn it, you about
A inch away
88
00:04:09,005 --> 00:04:10,003
From the end of your
Damn life!
89
00:04:10,005 --> 00:04:11,027
- we married!
90
00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:14,005
- [singing wedding march]
91
00:04:14,007 --> 00:04:19,004
- somebody grab the front end
Quick... Uhh.
92
00:04:19,006 --> 00:04:20,013
- you need some help, daddy?
93
00:04:20,015 --> 00:04:21,028
- [singing wedding march]
94
00:04:27,023 --> 00:04:29,026
- hell, yeah!
I got me a mama!
95
00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:31,015
I ain't no bastard no more!
96
00:04:31,017 --> 00:04:33,027
- congratulations, y'all.
Whee.
97
00:04:33,029 --> 00:04:35,029
- get your stupid ass
Out of here.
98
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,018
- I'm actually here about the--
Ahem--domestic violence call.
99
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:39,029
- oh, no, that was earlier.
100
00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:42,001
I got that low
Blood sugar thing.
101
00:04:42,003 --> 00:04:44,015
[indistinct] Worn off.
102
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,004
We in love now.
103
00:04:46,006 --> 00:04:47,020
- you bet we are, darlin'.
104
00:04:47,022 --> 00:04:49,001
Now get out of here.
105
00:04:49,003 --> 00:04:50,012
We about to conjumagate
This union.
106
00:04:50,014 --> 00:04:51,027
- get some, daddy!
107
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:53,005
- remember, no sodomy, now.
- woohoo!
108
00:04:53,007 --> 00:04:54,029
Whoo!
109
00:04:55,001 --> 00:04:57,017
Come on, let's
Cut this thing loose!
110
00:04:57,019 --> 00:05:00,004
- hey, what's happening
In there?
111
00:05:00,006 --> 00:05:01,006
- shh, granny, shut up.
- describe it.
112
00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:02,024
- oh, my god.
113
00:05:02,026 --> 00:05:04,018
I think he's trying
To eat my mama!
114
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,005
- no.
I said the market piggy.
115
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,020
Wee-wee-wee all the way home
116
00:05:08,022 --> 00:05:10,008
Died in the stroke.
117
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,019
- [muffled]
This here? This one?
118
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:13,010
- no.
- they all big.
119
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,022
- no, no, no.
This ain't right.
120
00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:16,011
[crash]
121
00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:18,008
I just don't feel
Comfortable here.
122
00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:19,026
- I thought about that,
Darlin',
123
00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:21,011
And I went and got some
Of your personal effects
124
00:05:21,013 --> 00:05:22,026
To make you feel more at home.
125
00:05:22,028 --> 00:05:24,014
- what are you do--
126
00:05:24,016 --> 00:05:26,003
Where are you puttin'
That mannequin leg?
127
00:05:26,005 --> 00:05:27,026
- I'm sorry, darlin',
I didn't--
128
00:05:27,028 --> 00:05:29,017
- no, no, the chicken bones
Go over here.
129
00:05:29,019 --> 00:05:31,017
- oh, I'm sorry.
- you don't know me.
130
00:05:31,019 --> 00:05:33,022
You don't know me at all!
131
00:05:33,024 --> 00:05:35,015
[crash]
132
00:05:35,017 --> 00:05:38,014
[sputtering] I gotta go
Chop me some wood!
133
00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:40,029
- hey, daddy, why you goin' to
Chop wood in the bathroom?
134
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:42,012
With a tire?
135
00:05:42,014 --> 00:05:44,006
- it gives me peace of mind!
136
00:05:44,008 --> 00:05:46,023
- and I want me some lipo.
137
00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:49,003
Get down to triple digits
138
00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:52,013
So I can look fine
For those glamour shots
139
00:05:52,015 --> 00:05:54,021
That you also goin' be
Gettin' for me.
140
00:05:54,023 --> 00:05:57,000
And I want 5 babies.
141
00:05:57,002 --> 00:05:59,018
I want 'em all colored
The same color.
142
00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:02,029
I want white color babies.
Today!
143
00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:04,019
- well, you know, we--
We got that one son
144
00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:05,023
[whirring]
145
00:06:05,025 --> 00:06:06,022
- [rusty grunts]
146
00:06:06,024 --> 00:06:08,016
- he's too old.
147
00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:11,015
I want the little baby kind
148
00:06:11,017 --> 00:06:13,026
That I can leave in a hot car
When I'm playing video poker.
149
00:06:13,028 --> 00:06:15,024
Ever since I was a girl,
150
00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:17,025
I dreamed of that.
151
00:06:17,027 --> 00:06:19,020
- well, hell, I mean, I got
A few minutes before work.
152
00:06:19,022 --> 00:06:21,002
We can get started on them
Babies right quick.
153
00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:22,029
- no.
I need to save my energy.
154
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:26,002
Uhh. Uhh.
155
00:06:26,004 --> 00:06:28,009
Ohh.
156
00:06:28,011 --> 00:06:30,026
Ahh.
157
00:06:33,008 --> 00:06:35,027
- ok, then.
I'm off to work.
158
00:06:35,029 --> 00:06:37,016
But I'll probably chop myself
A little wood
159
00:06:37,018 --> 00:06:39,008
Over in the shed first.
160
00:06:39,010 --> 00:06:40,027
- if you come home early
161
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,022
You gonna get a big surprise.
162
00:06:43,024 --> 00:06:46,002
- really?
163
00:06:46,004 --> 00:06:47,019
Oh, good morning, glen.
How was your weekend?
164
00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:49,013
[slurps]
- ooh!
165
00:06:49,015 --> 00:06:50,027
- alright then,
We'll see y'all tomorrow.
166
00:06:50,029 --> 00:06:55,005
I got me some lovin'
Waitin' at my place.
167
00:06:55,007 --> 00:06:57,024
Hey, whose damn bus is this?
168
00:06:57,026 --> 00:06:59,028
'cause it is fine!
169
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,005
I mean, look--look at that
Horse up there.
170
00:07:01,007 --> 00:07:02,011
It looks like a real horse.
171
00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:03,020
- hey, daddy.
Don't go in there.
172
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,006
- get out of my way.
Crystal!
173
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,019
- oh, hey, baby.
174
00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:08,012
These are my friends--
175
00:07:08,014 --> 00:07:11,014
Don barnes and donnie van zant,
176
00:07:11,016 --> 00:07:14,028
Danny chauncey, larry junstrom,
177
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,007
Bobby capps, and gary moffatt.
178
00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:19,007
Say hey.
179
00:07:19,009 --> 00:07:19,028
- [all talking at once]
180
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,025
- 38 special?
181
00:07:21,027 --> 00:07:23,017
How the hell you boys doin'?
182
00:07:23,019 --> 00:07:25,027
- man, we're just hangin' out.
183
00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:29,025
- it says here you s'posed
To be playing
184
00:07:29,027 --> 00:07:31,022
Up in pittsburgh
Tonight.
185
00:07:31,024 --> 00:07:36,008
- that's--that shirt's
From 1984.
186
00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:38,001
- hell, that ain't this year.
What's goin' on here?
187
00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:40,004
- oh, no, baby, come on.
188
00:07:40,006 --> 00:07:43,007
It's harmless.
We just nostalginin'.
189
00:07:43,009 --> 00:07:46,022
- yea, those were some
Good times this afternoon,
190
00:07:46,024 --> 00:07:48,028
When we all took
Turns makin' love to you.
191
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,001
- all right, daddy, them
Pyrotechnicals was amazing.
192
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:53,010
- you should've come early
For wet willie.
193
00:07:53,012 --> 00:07:55,008
They really got the crowd goin'!
194
00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:56,023
- damn it, we made us a vow.
195
00:07:56,025 --> 00:07:59,016
- early, I'm a married woman.
196
00:07:59,018 --> 00:08:01,027
I didn't let none of them
Buy me nothin'.
197
00:08:01,029 --> 00:08:03,016
That's for you.
198
00:08:03,018 --> 00:08:04,025
- 9, 10.
199
00:08:04,027 --> 00:08:07,006
- ♪ so caught up in you,
200
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:10,013
♪ little girl...
201
00:08:10,015 --> 00:08:12,018
- oh, I got to go chop me
Some damn wood!
202
00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:15,019
- ♪ and baby, it's true
You're the one ♪
203
00:08:15,021 --> 00:08:17,018
[organ playing]
204
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:20,015
- how we s'posed to be
Fruitful and multiply
205
00:08:20,017 --> 00:08:22,021
When this one's out in the shed
206
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:25,009
Makin' it with a radial tire?
207
00:08:25,011 --> 00:08:26,028
- I don't do that.
How'd you know about that?
208
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,016
- chop you some wood.
209
00:08:28,018 --> 00:08:30,011
- it's a physical thing.
210
00:08:30,013 --> 00:08:32,007
Ain't no emotional
Connection to it.
211
00:08:32,009 --> 00:08:34,004
I mean, I'd be fine if I could
Just get it once!
212
00:08:34,006 --> 00:08:36,022
- see there?
He called it "It."
213
00:08:36,024 --> 00:08:38,020
Where's the respect
For my vagina?
214
00:08:38,022 --> 00:08:40,014
- oh, come on, now.
215
00:08:40,016 --> 00:08:41,019
You know I don't mean nothin'
Bad, sugar chunk.
216
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,022
Tell her, boys.
217
00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:46,001
- sorry, man, but you really
Need to be more sensitive,
218
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,002
Like 38 special is.
219
00:08:48,004 --> 00:08:49,021
- hey, baby.
How's your mama and them?
220
00:08:49,023 --> 00:08:51,004
- oh, they fine.
221
00:08:51,006 --> 00:08:52,022
You wanna do me?
222
00:08:52,024 --> 00:08:53,026
- you need to respect
My boundaries!
223
00:08:53,028 --> 00:08:56,006
- just... If I may, ahem.
224
00:08:56,008 --> 00:08:59,000
Early, now, I'm not saying
You do or don't
225
00:08:59,002 --> 00:09:01,004
Do things with
That tire,
226
00:09:01,006 --> 00:09:04,004
But perhaps leave it
In the shed.
227
00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:06,014
And crystal,
Maybe don't have sex
228
00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:08,011
With 38 special
Quite so much.
229
00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:10,017
- oh, man.
That sucks.
230
00:09:10,019 --> 00:09:13,015
- and if you can make these
Tiny changes,
231
00:09:13,017 --> 00:09:18,000
I'm sure the good lord will
Shine his light down upon you.
232
00:09:18,002 --> 00:09:20,000
- well, I can try.
233
00:09:20,002 --> 00:09:23,002
- well, I'll try if you try.
234
00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:25,002
- I can't ask for more than
That, darlin'.
235
00:09:25,004 --> 00:09:26,011
No means no!
236
00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:27,026
- it needs new batteries.
237
00:09:27,028 --> 00:09:29,002
- I'm going to buy them
Batteries in...
238
00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:30,018
- ...Times I gotta tell you?
239
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,013
- ...Satan
Down there in hell!
240
00:09:32,015 --> 00:09:34,013
- if you don't, I'm going to
Have to beat 'em out of you!
241
00:09:34,015 --> 00:09:37,016
- ooh! Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
242
00:09:37,018 --> 00:09:39,008
Damn, darlin', I'm going...
243
00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:41,022
[scraping]
244
00:09:41,024 --> 00:09:43,012
[siren wailing]
245
00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:45,017
- that domestic disturbance
Still goin' on?
246
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,018
Hope nobody got killed.
Sorry I was late.
247
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,004
Just that I got a tire
Gone missin'.
248
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,028
- aah!
249
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,001
We ain't seen one of them.
250
00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:53,020
- oh, whoa.
251
00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:55,007
How'd you get that shiner, boy?
252
00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:57,003
- oh, uh, ahem.
253
00:09:57,005 --> 00:10:00,007
You know, uh, carryin' on
At the mouth like I do.
254
00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:02,023
Ha. I probably deserved it,
You know.
255
00:10:02,025 --> 00:10:04,020
[groans] That bitch
There done it.
256
00:10:04,022 --> 00:10:06,009
- [groans]
257
00:10:06,011 --> 00:10:07,018
- sucker-punched me
Right in the eye.
258
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,014
- all right, then.
Come on, granny. Let's go.
259
00:10:09,016 --> 00:10:11,005
- come on, daddy.
Tell the truth.
260
00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:12,022
It wasn't granny.
- I hate to do this.
261
00:10:12,024 --> 00:10:14,019
- it was mama. Then grabs you up
By your throat
262
00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:16,000
And punch you in
The mouth, knock you down,
263
00:10:16,002 --> 00:10:17,027
Make you pee on yourself.
264
00:10:17,029 --> 00:10:19,025
You then got all whupped,
Kicked me in the damn face.
265
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:21,014
Embarrassed you in front of me.
266
00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:23,004
Got your ass whupped.
267
00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:26,000
- run along now, russell.
268
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:28,010
You go on and play your
Video games.
269
00:10:28,012 --> 00:10:29,028
- you got me a video game?
Hell, yeah!
270
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,029
Get back, aliens!
271
00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:32,009
Whoo! Woohoo!
272
00:10:32,011 --> 00:10:34,004
I'm gonna kick yo' ass!
273
00:10:34,006 --> 00:10:36,015
- crystal, I'm afraid I'm gonna
Have to take you in.
274
00:10:36,017 --> 00:10:38,013
If I can... Let's see...
275
00:10:38,015 --> 00:10:39,028
Figure out how to.
276
00:10:42,026 --> 00:10:44,028
- early, baby,
277
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,001
Don't you understand?
278
00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:49,022
It's just that
I love you so much
279
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:53,008
And that's why I've got
To keep you in line.
280
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:55,010
It's for your own good.
281
00:10:55,012 --> 00:10:58,028
Someday you'll see that.
282
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,015
- just take her from my sight.
283
00:11:00,017 --> 00:11:02,007
[whirring]
284
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,012
- early, I might need that.
285
00:11:04,014 --> 00:11:05,023
- sheriff, don't.
286
00:11:05,025 --> 00:11:07,009
Let him have his moment.
287
00:11:07,011 --> 00:11:08,015
- you ever seen
A truckboat truck?
288
00:11:08,017 --> 00:11:09,026
- he's happy.
289
00:11:09,028 --> 00:11:11,019
- mm? That's right.
Two trucks.
290
00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:13,006
Sandwichin' a boat.
291
00:11:13,008 --> 00:11:16,007
Gonna make her do 140.
292
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,023
- ♪ you're the one that's
Got me down on my knees ♪
293
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:21,013
♪ and baby it's true
294
00:11:21,015 --> 00:11:25,011
♪ you're
The one who caught me ♪
295
00:11:25,013 --> 00:11:28,014
♪ baby, you taught me how
Good it could be ♪
296
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:36,013
♪♪
20651
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