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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,007 --> 00:00:04,004 [static] 2 00:00:04,006 --> 00:00:06,000 [country music plays] 3 00:00:06,002 --> 00:00:11,005 - ♪ my oldest son was born An albino ♪ 4 00:00:11,007 --> 00:00:16,025 ♪ my youngest Was covered in hair ♪ 5 00:00:16,027 --> 00:00:22,000 ♪ the middle one says He's a homosexual ♪ 6 00:00:22,002 --> 00:00:24,025 ♪ the other 7 are gone I don't know where ♪ 7 00:00:24,027 --> 00:00:27,006 ♪ and I don't care 8 00:00:27,008 --> 00:00:28,015 ♪ I just don't care 9 00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:30,008 - my turn! - hell, no! 10 00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:31,025 - hey, man, let me Drive that thing! Come on! 11 00:00:31,027 --> 00:00:33,015 - do not touch the trim! 12 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:40,018 - [laughter] 13 00:00:48,018 --> 00:00:50,021 - "G" is silent. [laughs] 14 00:00:53,029 --> 00:00:55,009 - he's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. 15 00:00:56,017 --> 00:00:58,024 - [laughter] 16 00:00:58,026 --> 00:01:01,008 - plumber bubba. You ever hear his tape? 17 00:01:01,010 --> 00:01:03,005 - uh, daddy, that's this tape. 18 00:01:03,007 --> 00:01:04,023 - shut up, now, boy. I'm tryin' to hear my tape. 19 00:01:04,025 --> 00:01:07,028 [click] 20 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,010 - tape's over. - flip it again. 21 00:01:10,012 --> 00:01:12,012 - hell, yeah! We gonna flip it again. 22 00:01:12,014 --> 00:01:16,001 - ain't you gonna see the same Dumbass jokes live tonight? 23 00:01:16,003 --> 00:01:18,021 - tonight? Plumber bubba? Is he in town tonight? 24 00:01:18,023 --> 00:01:20,025 - he's going to blow the roof Off the first baptist. 25 00:01:20,027 --> 00:01:22,024 - do it to it, baby. Whoo! 26 00:01:22,026 --> 00:01:24,012 - hey, daddy, can I go? Daddy, I wanna go. Can I go? 27 00:01:24,014 --> 00:01:26,000 - I don't know, son. 28 00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:28,022 - this here is mature material. 29 00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:36,011 - ooh, he skewered the french. 30 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,013 - oh, daddy, come on, now. I can handle it. 31 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,028 - hmm...All right, then. You coming. 32 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,026 - hell, yeah! Whoo! 33 00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:44,029 - here's granny's ticket. - no! 34 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:47,010 - my decision is final. 35 00:01:47,012 --> 00:01:50,023 Unless y'all want to fistificuff For my amusement. 36 00:01:50,025 --> 00:01:52,021 - y'all don't want none o' this, Let me tell you, granny. 37 00:01:52,023 --> 00:01:54,021 - ohh. 38 00:01:54,023 --> 00:01:57,017 I guess I'll just listen To the tape again. 39 00:01:57,019 --> 00:01:59,003 - the tape comes with me. - ohh. 40 00:01:59,005 --> 00:01:59,025 - early. 41 00:01:59,027 --> 00:02:01,021 Early? 42 00:02:01,023 --> 00:02:03,013 Early. 43 00:02:03,015 --> 00:02:04,016 Early? 44 00:02:04,018 --> 00:02:06,014 Uhh! Aah! 45 00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:07,028 Uhh. Uhh. 46 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,019 Early, early. 47 00:02:09,021 --> 00:02:11,003 - sheriff. 48 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,017 You all right? 49 00:02:13,019 --> 00:02:15,014 - couldn't be better. 50 00:02:15,016 --> 00:02:17,026 - well, you all duct-taped To a chair and all that. 51 00:02:17,028 --> 00:02:19,017 - this is my ejector seat. I had a little plane crash, 52 00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:21,010 But ain't no biggie, you know. 53 00:02:21,012 --> 00:02:23,015 We'll see you later. 54 00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:24,028 - get his billfold. - all right, then. 55 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,021 - no, no, no, stop. It's contagious. 56 00:02:26,023 --> 00:02:28,021 - it is? 57 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,022 What is? - plane crashes. 58 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:33,006 See you later, now. 59 00:02:33,008 --> 00:02:34,014 - hey, how come your lips Ain't jibber-wiggling 60 00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:36,012 When the sound came out? 61 00:02:36,014 --> 00:02:38,016 - oh, I had botox this morning. See you later, now. 62 00:02:38,018 --> 00:02:40,019 - but what about that Rope around your neck? 63 00:02:40,021 --> 00:02:42,017 - new tie. You like it? - yeah, but-- 64 00:02:42,019 --> 00:02:44,008 - don't be a stranger, now. See ya. 65 00:02:44,010 --> 00:02:45,024 - come on, rusty. Plane crashes is intagious. 66 00:02:45,026 --> 00:02:47,019 - hey, wait a minute. 67 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:49,015 Are y'all going to that Plumber bubba show tonight? 68 00:02:49,017 --> 00:02:50,026 - well, hell, yeah. We gonna do it to it. 69 00:02:50,028 --> 00:02:51,028 - do it to it. 70 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,029 [laughs] 71 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:55,012 Boy, I'll tell you. 72 00:02:55,014 --> 00:02:57,007 I love his observations About things 73 00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:58,028 That don't really Happen down here. 74 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,012 [chuckles] 75 00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,024 Y'all do it to it, now. 76 00:03:02,026 --> 00:03:03,029 - are you sure you don't Need no help? 77 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,024 - no, no. 78 00:03:05,026 --> 00:03:07,024 I'm just going to sit here And rest a spell. 79 00:03:07,026 --> 00:03:11,001 Maybe beat my own brains out With a hammer. 80 00:03:11,003 --> 00:03:14,002 Because I cannot behave, Can I? 81 00:03:14,004 --> 00:03:16,019 You're gonna pay for this Tonight, by god. 82 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,021 - [laughter] - whoo, howdy. 83 00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:22,000 So, anyways, I tell My hummerzine pilot 84 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,013 To drive me over yonder down To my vineyard in nantucket 85 00:03:24,015 --> 00:03:26,007 For my new Zeppelin launch, 86 00:03:26,009 --> 00:03:28,005 And he come back at me going, 87 00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:30,025 "A-dicka-dicka-globba- Gobba-ding-dong." 88 00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:32,018 I says, "Where are you From, boy?" 89 00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:33,024 He said, "Dubai." 90 00:03:33,026 --> 00:03:36,008 Dubai? Huh. 91 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:37,028 Well, then, do-buy yourself A plane ticket back there, 92 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,015 You towel-totin' camel-kicker. 93 00:03:39,017 --> 00:03:42,005 - [laughter] 94 00:03:42,007 --> 00:03:44,024 - I later come to learn that Dicka-globba-ding-dong 95 00:03:44,026 --> 00:03:46,027 Was over here just gettin' away 96 00:03:46,029 --> 00:03:49,011 From the oppression Of his homeland. 97 00:03:49,013 --> 00:03:52,021 So I turned to him, I says, "You're free now, my friend. 98 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:56,006 Free to get that cow pie off the Bottom of my wrestlin' boots. 99 00:03:56,008 --> 00:03:58,011 Grab yourself a popsicle stick. Scrape it out. 100 00:03:58,013 --> 00:04:00,013 You on the clock. - [laughter] 101 00:04:00,015 --> 00:04:02,005 - I liked to wanna shove My cloven, 102 00:04:02,007 --> 00:04:05,003 Reptilian hook-foot Up his biphibious anal pore. 103 00:04:05,005 --> 00:04:07,005 Whoo! 104 00:04:07,007 --> 00:04:09,009 [microphone feedback] 105 00:04:09,011 --> 00:04:11,027 Y'all hear me out there? 106 00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:13,012 We have a sound issue. Is this on? 107 00:04:13,014 --> 00:04:14,018 - damn it. He's bombing. 108 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,017 - reptilian hook-foot? 109 00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:17,014 - hell, that ain't funny. 110 00:04:17,016 --> 00:04:18,015 - that ain't funny. 111 00:04:18,017 --> 00:04:21,006 - drop the vise grips, jackass. 112 00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:23,020 Yeah. I got in. 113 00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:25,012 Vise grips. 114 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,024 - vise grips! Vise grips! Vise grips! 115 00:04:27,026 --> 00:04:29,027 Vise grips! Vise grips! 116 00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:32,001 Vise grips! Vise... - uh-oh. 117 00:04:32,003 --> 00:04:34,005 What have we here? 118 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:37,008 Uh--oh--almost--what--oh! 119 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,025 I think I just dropped My vise grip. 120 00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:41,026 - [laughter] 121 00:04:41,028 --> 00:04:45,011 - looks like you've got A crack in your rear manifold. 122 00:04:45,013 --> 00:04:46,026 - do it to it. 123 00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:48,027 - ...Replace the assket. 124 00:04:48,029 --> 00:04:50,020 Ass gas. 125 00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:52,015 Pass gas. 126 00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:53,022 Y'all get it? 127 00:04:53,024 --> 00:04:55,020 See my butthole? 128 00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:57,016 - [laughs] Now he's got us back. 129 00:04:57,018 --> 00:04:59,019 Hell, yeah. - y'all do it to it! 130 00:04:59,021 --> 00:05:02,004 - woohoo! Yeah! He done it to it tonight! 131 00:05:02,006 --> 00:05:03,022 - that was the bomb! 132 00:05:03,024 --> 00:05:05,025 - hey, can I get me A country mind helmet? 133 00:05:05,027 --> 00:05:08,017 - hell, no. - well, they free. 134 00:05:08,019 --> 00:05:10,023 - do it to it! Whoo! 135 00:05:10,025 --> 00:05:11,026 - what does it do? 136 00:05:11,028 --> 00:05:13,013 - it, uh... 137 00:05:13,015 --> 00:05:16,018 Uh...It do it to it. 138 00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:19,024 - all right. Do it. 139 00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:22,018 - [vibrating] Oh, it feels good. 140 00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:24,023 Yeah. Turn it up. 141 00:05:24,025 --> 00:05:26,023 Uh...That's good. 142 00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:28,005 Right there. Right there. 143 00:05:28,007 --> 00:05:30,004 Mm-hmm. 144 00:05:30,006 --> 00:05:31,015 Now you-- Punch me in the face. 145 00:05:31,017 --> 00:05:33,003 - uhh! - right there. 146 00:05:33,005 --> 00:05:35,000 Yeah. There you go. 147 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:39,007 I... Feel... Alive! 148 00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:40,007 - rusty: oh, my god! 149 00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:44,026 - damn. 150 00:05:44,028 --> 00:05:46,027 That was fun! 151 00:05:46,029 --> 00:05:49,018 Hey, granny, put this here Hat on. 152 00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:51,018 - this here is going to be A twisted checkerboard 153 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:54,020 Flying into a black hole On the talons of an eagle. 154 00:05:54,022 --> 00:05:56,025 - imbecile! Graphics go On the outside of the ship. 155 00:05:56,027 --> 00:05:58,000 - who's steering? 156 00:05:58,002 --> 00:05:59,017 - who? Who's doing what now? 157 00:05:59,019 --> 00:06:00,021 - now you-- 158 00:06:00,023 --> 00:06:01,023 Punch me in the face. 159 00:06:01,025 --> 00:06:04,013 [crash] 160 00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:06,014 Whoo! It's the rapture! 161 00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:08,009 Go get my jesus wig. 162 00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:10,004 - daddy, look! 163 00:06:10,006 --> 00:06:11,026 - hot damn almighty, It's plumber bubba. 164 00:06:11,028 --> 00:06:13,006 - no, no, no. Behind him. 165 00:06:13,008 --> 00:06:16,022 That big ol' spaceship. 166 00:06:16,024 --> 00:06:18,019 - damn, it's plumber bubba! 167 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:20,002 We seen him at the first baptist 168 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,015 Just the other night tonight. 169 00:06:21,017 --> 00:06:24,015 - oh, that ain't jesus. 170 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,020 Fake me out. 171 00:06:25,022 --> 00:06:26,025 - uhh. Ooh. 172 00:06:26,027 --> 00:06:28,007 Do it to it. 173 00:06:28,009 --> 00:06:30,011 Uhh. Oh, god. 174 00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:32,011 - oh, my god! A space foreigner! 175 00:06:32,013 --> 00:06:34,012 - has taken over Plumber bubba's body! 176 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,004 Let's beat it out of him For america. 177 00:06:36,006 --> 00:06:37,020 - no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 178 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,029 I-I-I'm the one Known as plumber bubba. 179 00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:42,019 I-I-I mean, do it to it. See? 180 00:06:42,021 --> 00:06:45,013 - oh, so you plumber bubba, Is that right? 181 00:06:45,015 --> 00:06:47,005 Then fix this here Sunbitchin' hot tub. 182 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,015 Go on. 183 00:06:48,017 --> 00:06:49,021 - well, this--this here's 184 00:06:49,023 --> 00:06:53,006 A bathtub on top of a stove. 185 00:06:53,008 --> 00:06:54,014 - he's right, daddy. 186 00:06:54,016 --> 00:06:55,029 - we ain't got no plumbin' In here. 187 00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:58,003 Hell, a real plumber Would know that! 188 00:06:58,005 --> 00:06:59,013 - well, you didn't Give me a chance to say-- 189 00:06:59,015 --> 00:07:00,013 - and I won't. 190 00:07:00,015 --> 00:07:02,001 You ain't no damn plumber, 191 00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:03,029 And I'm starting To doubt you a bubbery. 192 00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:05,018 So who the hell are you, anyhow? 193 00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,027 - I am plumer bubah 194 00:07:07,029 --> 00:07:10,014 From the planet ala bama. 195 00:07:10,016 --> 00:07:12,016 I've traveled many parsecs to Your orb 196 00:07:12,018 --> 00:07:15,020 Only to tell a few jokes 197 00:07:15,022 --> 00:07:17,004 And harvest intello-secretions From the brainminds 198 00:07:17,006 --> 00:07:19,013 Of my hyper-intelligent Fans. 199 00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:21,018 - you mean like aunt lil? 200 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,018 - her and many geniuses Like her. 201 00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:25,010 For even as we speak, 202 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,024 Her massive brainpower Is being harnessed 203 00:07:27,026 --> 00:07:30,009 To create an unspeakable weapon. 204 00:07:30,011 --> 00:07:32,012 - like a big old 30 ought 6 Pointed at us 205 00:07:32,014 --> 00:07:34,010 From, like, a space moon Or somethin'? 206 00:07:34,012 --> 00:07:36,010 - it will eliminate All creatures, 207 00:07:36,012 --> 00:07:38,020 Matter, and time, 208 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:42,005 Leaving only Memorial day weekend. 209 00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:45,008 - that is really Horrible as hell. 210 00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:46,025 Hey, say that joke. 211 00:07:46,027 --> 00:07:48,000 Come on. Do it to it. 212 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:49,006 Do it for my voicemail. 213 00:07:49,008 --> 00:07:50,022 - if you wantin' to destroy us, 214 00:07:50,024 --> 00:07:53,004 Then why you tellin' us All this? 215 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,021 - because, son, I have grown To admire your culture 216 00:07:55,023 --> 00:07:57,024 Through mocking it. 217 00:07:57,026 --> 00:08:00,019 I long to inhale your mint Juleps and sweet teas 218 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,028 Through my absorption tube-gill, 219 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,006 Kick my reptilian hook-feet Up on the porch swing, 220 00:08:06,008 --> 00:08:09,017 And witness the setting Of your single sun. 221 00:08:09,019 --> 00:08:11,018 - look here, you might be A carpetbagger 222 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,004 Space yankee sumbitch What come down here 223 00:08:13,006 --> 00:08:15,013 From up north of space To take our brain juice, 224 00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:17,019 But you with us now, ok? 225 00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:19,011 - but them elders, they-- They gonna look for me, man. 226 00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:21,008 - now, they best bring Themselves a sack lunch 227 00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:22,025 If they gonna tangle with the Cuyler boys, now, right, daddy? 228 00:08:22,027 --> 00:08:25,009 - a country boy Can survive. Whoo! 229 00:08:25,011 --> 00:08:28,010 - whoo! A country boy Can survive. 230 00:08:28,012 --> 00:08:30,016 - d-doo...[gasp] 231 00:08:30,018 --> 00:08:31,028 - he ain't gonna live, is he? 232 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,003 - who? Oh, him? Hell, no. 233 00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:37,002 - must have space fluids. 234 00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:39,027 Red, circle lookin' thing. 235 00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:41,015 - hey, granny. Have you seen This old boy's space fluids? 236 00:08:55,021 --> 00:08:58,017 - plumer bubah, You are in violation. 237 00:08:58,019 --> 00:09:03,010 - get...Off...My...Land. Huh. 238 00:09:03,012 --> 00:09:04,026 - plumer... - shh. Hold on. 239 00:09:04,028 --> 00:09:05,028 He ain't finished yet. 240 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,021 - you tested me... 241 00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:11,003 And I'm about to pass... 242 00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:14,000 When I whoop... That ass. 243 00:09:14,002 --> 00:09:16,026 - [both talking at once] 244 00:09:16,028 --> 00:09:18,012 - ...I told him. 245 00:09:18,014 --> 00:09:20,028 - plumer bubah, We need more brains. 246 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,024 We have you booked At the bo-at show 247 00:09:22,026 --> 00:09:25,017 In chat-ah!-noo-ga. 248 00:09:25,019 --> 00:09:27,006 - go on. 249 00:09:27,008 --> 00:09:29,027 Absorb the space fluids. 250 00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:32,007 You crave them. 251 00:09:32,009 --> 00:09:36,010 They will quench the hurt Within your soul. 252 00:09:36,012 --> 00:09:38,027 Come back to the fold. 253 00:09:38,029 --> 00:09:41,024 Do it to it. 254 00:09:41,026 --> 00:09:44,004 - hey! Back the hell off! 255 00:09:44,006 --> 00:09:45,024 This boy's southern now. 256 00:09:45,026 --> 00:09:48,004 He don't need your juices. 257 00:09:48,006 --> 00:09:49,024 I need 'em. 258 00:09:49,026 --> 00:09:51,014 Come on, man. I'll pay you. 259 00:09:51,016 --> 00:09:53,001 I'm jonesin' hard! 260 00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:55,019 I got the itch. 261 00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:58,005 - fine, south-ern man. 262 00:09:58,007 --> 00:09:59,019 You have doone it-- 263 00:09:59,021 --> 00:10:01,024 D-done it for the last time. 264 00:10:01,026 --> 00:10:04,020 Vaporize them. 265 00:10:04,022 --> 00:10:09,007 - [laughter] 266 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,020 - hold it. Hold on, now. Hold on. 267 00:10:11,022 --> 00:10:13,012 - go ahead. Say it. 268 00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:14,018 One more time before we die. 269 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:15,019 Do it to it. Come on. 270 00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:21,009 - do... It... To... 271 00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:23,005 - now, that is disappointing. 272 00:10:23,007 --> 00:10:25,005 - go on. Press the thing. 273 00:10:25,007 --> 00:10:26,022 - I did-- It's not working. 274 00:10:26,024 --> 00:10:31,005 - slap the pig's ass! 275 00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:32,026 - mm. Nothing. 276 00:10:32,028 --> 00:10:34,014 - damn it, I told you. 277 00:10:34,016 --> 00:10:37,013 Japan, india, That's where the brains are, 278 00:10:37,015 --> 00:10:39,008 And you kept saying how you Just loved the south 279 00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:40,026 And how good the food is 280 00:10:40,028 --> 00:10:43,001 And the asinine folk art. 281 00:10:43,003 --> 00:10:44,019 - you said you liked my piece. 282 00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:47,021 - it's a backward "R" Painted on a frying pan. 283 00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:50,015 - maybe we should've Made the chicken and dumpling 284 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:54,028 Toby keith gravy grit Half truck ton-- 285 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,016 Oh, that sounds stupid As I say it. 286 00:10:57,018 --> 00:10:58,026 - all right. Will this thing Pop a wheelie? 287 00:10:58,028 --> 00:11:00,024 - we gonna find out. Smack that pig. 288 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,015 [tires screech] 289 00:11:05,023 --> 00:11:07,025 It do not. 19823

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