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1
00:00:01,004 --> 00:00:04,013
[radio static]
2
00:00:04,015 --> 00:00:05,024
[country song plays]
3
00:00:05,026 --> 00:00:10,004
♪ my dreams are all
Dead and buried
4
00:00:11,004 --> 00:00:14,024
Sometimes I wish the sun
Would just explode
5
00:00:16,010 --> 00:00:20,008
When god comes and calls
Me to his kingdom
6
00:00:21,007 --> 00:00:25,008
I'll take all you sons
Of bitches when I go
7
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:28,020
Blah blah whoa whoa ♪
8
00:00:28,022 --> 00:00:29,028
- my turn!
- hell, no.
9
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,008
Hey, let met drive that
Thing, come on.
10
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:33,020
Do not touch the trim.
11
00:00:36,008 --> 00:00:38,005
Early's tenure as ceo
12
00:00:38,007 --> 00:00:40,010
Of dan halen
Sheetrock international
13
00:00:40,012 --> 00:00:41,023
Had not been long,
14
00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:43,024
But it had been distinguished--
15
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:46,011
By drunkenness,
Hair-trigger violence,
16
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,027
And a total lack of performance.
17
00:00:48,029 --> 00:00:51,009
I would call it a steady
Decline in performance,
18
00:00:51,011 --> 00:00:55,024
But that would imply that he
Performed at one point in time.
19
00:00:55,026 --> 00:00:57,021
In fact, he had not.
20
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:58,026
He was drunk.
21
00:00:58,028 --> 00:01:00,010
Herd thinner is
The name of the brand.
22
00:01:00,012 --> 00:01:02,012
I can't change that.
23
00:01:02,014 --> 00:01:03,023
What would you have me call it?
24
00:01:03,025 --> 00:01:06,022
It's a highly toxic gel.
-hi.
25
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,029
I know it looks like
Toothpaste.
- hi.
26
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,017
It's supposed to.
- hi.
27
00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:11,009
No, I'm saying wipe, moron.
28
00:01:11,011 --> 00:01:12,019
Hold on there.
29
00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:14,020
[beep]
30
00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:22,023
Well, now, looky here.
Hot damn it!
31
00:01:22,025 --> 00:01:24,022
It's the weekend!
See you tuesday.
32
00:01:24,024 --> 00:01:26,002
It is tuesday.
33
00:01:27,011 --> 00:01:29,024
But in the mountains
Of north georgia,
34
00:01:29,026 --> 00:01:34,003
Even a ceo's meager salary is
Not enough to raise a family.
35
00:01:34,005 --> 00:01:38,011
Sometimes people need a second
Job to make trucks meet.
36
00:01:38,013 --> 00:01:41,007
Toodly do!
37
00:01:41,009 --> 00:01:42,014
Them hippies show up?
38
00:01:42,016 --> 00:01:43,015
They're out back.
39
00:01:43,017 --> 00:01:44,028
Daddy, why do they come
Up here every week?
40
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,028
Here you go, boy.
I bought you a veggie game.
41
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,013
- you did?
- hell, no.
42
00:01:48,015 --> 00:01:49,018
Wash them trucks.
43
00:01:49,020 --> 00:01:50,029
But you leave the boat to me.
44
00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,028
Don't you touch
That sumbitchin' boat.
45
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,011
A boat is not a toy.
Thank you.
46
00:01:55,013 --> 00:01:58,008
The boat is mine.
47
00:01:58,010 --> 00:01:59,019
The boat is mine!
48
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,023
Dude, I'm scared.
49
00:02:02,025 --> 00:02:04,027
I think that thing moved.
50
00:02:04,029 --> 00:02:06,006
Chill, troy.
51
00:02:06,008 --> 00:02:07,026
This guy's cool.
Just stay calm.
52
00:02:07,028 --> 00:02:09,008
He totally won't shoot.
53
00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:12,013
[gunshots]
54
00:02:12,015 --> 00:02:16,009
Gentlemen, evan,
How might I assistify you?
55
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,023
To be of assistification to you?
56
00:02:18,025 --> 00:02:20,025
Assistalort hepignate.
57
00:02:20,027 --> 00:02:24,017
Uh, we were told by,
Like, my big brother,
58
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,019
Bro was like,
59
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:29,004
You might be able to, like--
60
00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:30,022
You want to bang
Yourself a goat?
61
00:02:32,014 --> 00:02:33,022
'cause the goat's dead,
62
00:02:33,024 --> 00:02:35,009
But we can still do this thing.
63
00:02:35,011 --> 00:02:36,010
I'll give you a deal on it.
64
00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:37,012
He wants to.
65
00:02:37,014 --> 00:02:38,017
Huh huh huh!
66
00:02:38,019 --> 00:02:39,024
No, seriously.
67
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,009
We just want to buy weed.
68
00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:43,026
Oh, hell. I got to read my
Walk-ins better.
69
00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:45,007
All right, boys.
70
00:02:45,009 --> 00:02:47,015
You see that smoke over there
71
00:02:47,017 --> 00:02:49,000
Coming off that
Bald-headed sumbitch?
72
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,029
That's where you
Pick the good stuff.
73
00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:53,001
Go on. Take your
Boyfriend with you.
74
00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:55,004
Would you mind
Taking a quick survey?
75
00:02:55,006 --> 00:02:58,010
That thing moved.
Huh-huh.
76
00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,029
I thought that was a scarecrow.
77
00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:00,026
No, no.
78
00:03:00,028 --> 00:03:02,008
That there is the research
Department.
79
00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,009
Television--
80
00:03:03,011 --> 00:03:06,006
Shut up, research department.
81
00:03:06,008 --> 00:03:07,009
Where am I?
82
00:03:07,011 --> 00:03:10,004
Holy [bleep]
Is that a still?
83
00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:11,006
Troy, shut up, dude, man.
84
00:03:11,008 --> 00:03:12,010
That's all right, evan.
85
00:03:12,012 --> 00:03:13,018
Troy's a curious one.
86
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:17,011
Now, allow me to explain
The contamination process.
87
00:03:17,013 --> 00:03:19,011
Pine cones go in here.
88
00:03:19,013 --> 00:03:21,012
Party liquors come out here
89
00:03:21,014 --> 00:03:23,010
And proceed to here.
90
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:25,021
Fights begin, fingerprints is
Took, days is lost,
91
00:03:25,023 --> 00:03:29,000
Bail is made, court dates are
Ignored, cycle is repeated.
92
00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:32,007
Dude, can I hit that?
93
00:03:32,009 --> 00:03:33,009
Yeah, go on with it.
94
00:03:33,011 --> 00:03:36,004
This will put some fuzz
On your chewing gum.
95
00:03:36,006 --> 00:03:37,003
Do it, man.
96
00:03:37,005 --> 00:03:38,008
Do it, man.
97
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,004
Do it.
98
00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:41,003
Drink, drink, drink.
99
00:03:41,005 --> 00:03:42,024
Come on, troy.
Hit it, son.
100
00:03:42,026 --> 00:03:44,020
Drink, drink, drink,
Drink, drink.
101
00:03:44,022 --> 00:03:45,026
Oh, man.
102
00:03:45,028 --> 00:03:47,008
I'm blind.
103
00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:48,018
This is awesome.
104
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,019
Hook me up, then, dude.
105
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:51,011
How long can
I ride this train?
106
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:54,003
I'd say about four...Ever.
107
00:03:54,005 --> 00:03:55,012
Duuude.
108
00:03:55,014 --> 00:03:58,001
Mind yourself, now, or you're
Gonna wake up next to that.
109
00:03:58,003 --> 00:03:59,008
Hi.
110
00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:02,000
All stuck up together by
The dried fluids of amore.
111
00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:03,012
I like butt cheeks.
112
00:04:03,014 --> 00:04:04,009
Yeah.
113
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,026
It's happened to
The best of us--a lot.
114
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:10,004
Dude, we have got to bring
Some of this back to the house.
115
00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:12,017
Gordo and wolfman
Will go ballistic.
116
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,011
Uh-uh-uh, son.
117
00:04:14,013 --> 00:04:18,027
Oh, um, did you
Need money, or...
118
00:04:18,029 --> 00:04:21,028
How about them costly puka
Beads you're wearing?
119
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,006
All right. Sweet.
120
00:04:23,008 --> 00:04:24,011
This is awesome!
121
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,019
Touch fist, let's go.
122
00:04:25,021 --> 00:04:27,006
- let's put it up.
- leave me hanging.
123
00:04:27,008 --> 00:04:28,006
Touch fist.
124
00:04:28,008 --> 00:04:31,011
I put my fist
In the beehive.
125
00:04:31,013 --> 00:04:33,007
- russell!
- yes'm?
126
00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:35,009
Go ahead and fill up these
Oil jugs for these boys.
127
00:04:35,011 --> 00:04:37,001
With pine-cone liquor?
Hell, no.
128
00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:39,010
I'm driving.
Where's your dad's car?
129
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,028
Pee pee in them jugs.
130
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,002
[ring] Aw, hell.
131
00:04:43,004 --> 00:04:44,007
That's the office.
132
00:04:44,009 --> 00:04:46,026
I can't believe I got to
Go in on a wednesday.
133
00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:49,009
Them people can't wipe
They ass without me.
134
00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:52,002
[elevator dings]
135
00:04:52,004 --> 00:04:55,018
[elevator music]
136
00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:02,025
Howdy doody, donna?
137
00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:05,010
Nice ass this morning.
Yeah.
138
00:05:05,012 --> 00:05:06,008
You wearing panties?
139
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:07,029
Actually I need
To get off here.
140
00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:09,015
Steve, big dog.
141
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,016
Here's the pot I've been
Growing on my property.
142
00:05:11,018 --> 00:05:15,006
See if this don't help with your
Wife bitching and all that mess.
143
00:05:15,008 --> 00:05:16,011
Not here, man.
144
00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:18,014
Pine-cone liquor?
145
00:05:18,016 --> 00:05:20,013
Nobody?
146
00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:24,010
Well, then, how about a fried
Possum pecker?
147
00:05:24,012 --> 00:05:28,000
[munching]
[swallowing]
148
00:05:28,002 --> 00:05:29,002
Ah.
149
00:05:29,004 --> 00:05:31,001
Uh-oh.
[large burp]
150
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:33,010
I need to get off here at 3.
151
00:05:33,012 --> 00:05:36,017
[ding]
Whoo!
152
00:05:36,019 --> 00:05:39,003
Don't forget, y'all--
Softball thursday night.
153
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,007
Come on.
154
00:05:41,009 --> 00:05:42,017
Work, work.
155
00:05:42,019 --> 00:05:43,023
Come on.
156
00:05:43,025 --> 00:05:44,029
What is the deal with this?
157
00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:45,029
Step aside, glen.
158
00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:48,016
You got a error 43
Replace toner cartridge.
159
00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:51,006
Ooh, my.
Looks like the magenta.
160
00:05:51,008 --> 00:05:53,006
Damn. This is gonna hurt.
161
00:05:53,008 --> 00:05:55,001
Uhhh!
162
00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:57,016
Uhh!
163
00:05:57,018 --> 00:06:01,014
Stand clear.
164
00:06:01,016 --> 00:06:03,002
Hurry now. Hurry.
165
00:06:03,004 --> 00:06:05,026
Take that there sexual
Harassment manual
166
00:06:05,028 --> 00:06:07,014
And hit me in my groin.
167
00:06:07,016 --> 00:06:08,018
You're sure about this?
168
00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:10,004
- hurry now.
- hard?
169
00:06:10,006 --> 00:06:11,018
Faster, damn it.
Faster.
170
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,012
All right, I'll do it.
All right, here.
171
00:06:13,014 --> 00:06:16,011
Don't stop.
Don't stop.
172
00:06:16,013 --> 00:06:18,016
Now flog my ass.
173
00:06:21,008 --> 00:06:22,028
Now you're [bleep] With me.
174
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,002
Ha ha ha!
Nice one.
175
00:06:26,004 --> 00:06:27,025
See if that sumbitch
Will fax now.
176
00:06:27,027 --> 00:06:30,004
It never was able to fax.
177
00:06:30,006 --> 00:06:32,013
It's a coffeemaker.
178
00:06:32,015 --> 00:06:34,012
You dumb ass,
You can't fax coffee.
179
00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:35,013
Coffee don't fax worth a damn.
180
00:06:35,015 --> 00:06:37,020
Every time the rain hits it,
It'll run.
181
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,017
Damn.
182
00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:40,005
You're a dumb sumbitch.
183
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:41,029
What do you mean,
Where did I get 'em?
184
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,019
- early.
- some damn fool left them out.
185
00:06:43,021 --> 00:06:44,017
Please, early.
186
00:06:44,019 --> 00:06:45,029
I'd offer you one,
But they're mine.
187
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,014
Early, it has come to my
Attention
188
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,017
That during employment hours,
189
00:06:50,019 --> 00:06:52,011
You have been
Distributing and consuming
190
00:06:52,013 --> 00:06:55,003
Certain arboreal
Alcoholic libation.
191
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,005
You know, you've been drinking.
192
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:05,015
Liquid in your mouth?
193
00:07:05,017 --> 00:07:07,007
Alcohol?
- sure, I'll have one.
194
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,015
No, you won't.
195
00:07:08,017 --> 00:07:11,026
What you will do is
Answer this question.
196
00:07:11,028 --> 00:07:13,021
How does it taste?
197
00:07:13,023 --> 00:07:17,008
Like the untamed wilditude
Of nature erupting
198
00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:20,026
In the space where your
Brain used to live.
199
00:07:20,028 --> 00:07:21,018
Take a sip.
200
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:24,004
You'll see...But
Not for long.
201
00:07:24,006 --> 00:07:26,010
Let me show you something,
Early.
202
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,023
Close your eyes.
203
00:07:28,025 --> 00:07:30,022
Now open them.
204
00:07:30,024 --> 00:07:31,023
Oh, hell!
205
00:07:31,025 --> 00:07:33,015
I'm exposed--nudified.
206
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,027
That's right.
207
00:07:34,029 --> 00:07:37,001
I stripped you of your dignity.
208
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:40,024
What if the rest of the world
Were as blind as you just were?
209
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,018
I reckon you could
Take they stuff.
210
00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:43,013
No, no, no.
211
00:07:43,015 --> 00:07:44,025
I would never think
Of doing that.
212
00:07:44,027 --> 00:07:46,020
But you thought of it,
So we'll do it.
213
00:07:46,022 --> 00:07:48,005
How much of this can we make?
214
00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:54,007
Well, how is it?
215
00:07:54,009 --> 00:07:55,025
Very warm,
216
00:07:55,027 --> 00:07:57,008
Robust,
217
00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:00,026
With just a buttery high note
Of all-weather coolant,
218
00:08:00,028 --> 00:08:03,007
And there we go.
219
00:08:03,009 --> 00:08:04,022
Darkness.
220
00:08:04,024 --> 00:08:05,023
Wait a minute.
221
00:08:05,025 --> 00:08:08,000
Miguel!
222
00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:09,007
Is this brake fluid?
223
00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:10,021
Brake fluid? No.
Steering.
224
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,020
I said hairspray, sumbitch.
225
00:08:12,022 --> 00:08:13,027
What are you--blind?
226
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:14,026
I am blind.
227
00:08:14,028 --> 00:08:16,020
You been drinking
The product, ain't you?
228
00:08:16,022 --> 00:08:17,017
I am so sorry.
229
00:08:17,019 --> 00:08:18,025
Is good.
230
00:08:18,027 --> 00:08:20,006
It's damn good,
231
00:08:20,008 --> 00:08:22,007
But it needs a name--
232
00:08:22,009 --> 00:08:26,011
Something sexy, inviting,
And sophisticated.
233
00:08:26,013 --> 00:08:28,001
- glug.
- yes!
234
00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:32,009
Erupt into a bed of rage
This summer with glug.
235
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,008
That's the slogan.
236
00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:35,004
We'll add the word "Dog"
For the blacks.
237
00:08:35,006 --> 00:08:36,010
They like that word,
238
00:08:36,012 --> 00:08:38,019
Like they're friends
With the product.
239
00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,022
Ha ha ha!
240
00:08:40,024 --> 00:08:43,000
And so dan halen
Flooded the market
241
00:08:43,002 --> 00:08:44,020
With early's glug.
242
00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:46,019
[bell jingles]
Ga-ding, ga-ding.
243
00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:47,020
Welcome, y'all.
244
00:08:47,022 --> 00:08:50,004
Come on in and get your glug on.
245
00:08:50,006 --> 00:08:51,018
Leave your money on the counter.
246
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:52,027
I trust you.
247
00:08:52,029 --> 00:08:55,022
And the region was
Cast in darkness--
248
00:08:55,024 --> 00:08:57,016
Affordable, refreshing,
249
00:08:57,018 --> 00:08:59,011
Brain-suffocating
Darkness.
250
00:08:59,013 --> 00:09:02,009
Razzle, get the hell in my
Hands where I can see you.
251
00:09:02,011 --> 00:09:05,001
What did I tell
You about drinking
252
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,002
Underneath the age, huh?
253
00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:08,028
You said if I could afford
And bring back enough for you,
254
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,012
Then you don't care what I do,
And it's my body,
255
00:09:10,014 --> 00:09:12,010
And I can kill it
However I want to.
256
00:09:12,012 --> 00:09:15,011
America's about freedom.
257
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,003
Son, they's every
Chance in the world
258
00:09:17,005 --> 00:09:19,008
I was drunk when I said that.
259
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:22,008
It's your welfare I care about.
260
00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,023
You know that check?
261
00:09:23,025 --> 00:09:24,028
Did that come today?
262
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,003
I ain't seen the mail.
263
00:09:26,005 --> 00:09:27,018
I knew you been drinking.
264
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:29,017
Don't hurt me, rusty!
265
00:09:29,019 --> 00:09:31,024
- get back here.
- is that rusty?
266
00:09:33,011 --> 00:09:34,010
Get your glug on.
267
00:09:34,012 --> 00:09:35,004
Ooh.
268
00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:36,011
Get the stuff.
269
00:09:36,013 --> 00:09:39,007
Catching glug points for
Hats, coolers, koozies, canes,
270
00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:41,023
Seeing-eye dogs,
And books on tape.
271
00:09:41,025 --> 00:09:43,022
The audio phone book, a-l,
272
00:09:43,024 --> 00:09:45,019
As read by dan halen.
273
00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:46,024
Chapter one.
274
00:09:46,026 --> 00:09:47,025
Residents.
275
00:09:47,027 --> 00:09:51,023
Abarado, thomas c.,
Klondike 58272
276
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:56,011
Area code 678-555-0112.
277
00:09:56,013 --> 00:10:00,001
Entry number two,
Avarao, janine.
278
00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:03,028
Highway 172, 678-555...
279
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,020
And a glug grand prize for
A trip for two to hawaii.
280
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,008
- glug.
- that's right.
281
00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:10,011
You can't see it,
But you'll buy it.
282
00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:11,019
Yeah, you'll buy anything!
283
00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:14,019
Let's go ahead
And cut that last line,
284
00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:17,004
And make sure my
Leggings are pressed.
285
00:10:17,006 --> 00:10:19,023
For tomorrow,
All those who mock me
286
00:10:19,025 --> 00:10:21,029
Will feel my wrath.
287
00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:24,011
Ha ha ha!
288
00:10:25,011 --> 00:10:27,006
[cacophony]
[car horns, explosions]
289
00:10:29,013 --> 00:10:32,002
[birds chirping]
290
00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:38,026
How was that?
291
00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:40,018
Hey, was that a strike?
292
00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:42,015
It's still in your hand.
293
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,028
Go on, mate.
294
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,012
Hurl the sphere,
295
00:10:45,014 --> 00:10:47,026
And I will shock the world.
296
00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:50,014
Uh!
297
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,028
[grunts]
298
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,016
Did I strike him out again?
299
00:10:55,018 --> 00:10:57,010
- ball 4.
- oh, you...
300
00:10:57,012 --> 00:10:58,010
Yes.
301
00:10:58,012 --> 00:11:02,001
Rack another one up
For the walk master.
302
00:11:06,018 --> 00:11:07,019
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
303
00:11:08,029 --> 00:11:10,005
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
304
00:11:11,026 --> 00:11:13,018
--www.Ncicap.Org--
305
00:11:28,017 --> 00:11:29,004
Skull.
20254
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