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GARDA'S SHOES

- Bye. - Farewell.

ITALY

Excuse me.

- Is this seat free? - Of course.

Thank you.

It is kind of nice out here, in this winter sunshine.

Not that much.

Well, it is still not very hot,

but it's better than nothing.

Coming back from a vacation?

I beg your pardon?

I said, were you here on holiday?

No.

I was here on business.

May I ask you what kind of job?

- I'm a Visagiste. - Visagiste?

- Oh, that's interesting. - Not really.

But all jobs are interesting, if one does them with love.

I don't have love. But I do have a diploma.

- Are you qualified? - Yes.

Ah, that's good.

- Not really. - I'm a boor. I didn't introduce myself.

I am Professor Ivano Borghi.

Bergamonchi Zoe. Sorry about the glove.

- Zoe? - Yes.

A beautiful name. So sweet and quick.

- Yes, it is definitely a quick name. - Enough.

Are you from the North?

- Lugo di Romagna. Yes. - Ah, you are from Romagna.

Women from Romagna are nice.

Not really.

Are you cold?

Do you want something warm?

No, no, thanks. Don't bother.

No bother at all, mind you.

No, forget it. Anyway, if I drink or eat something,

I won't digest it.

Why? Do you suffer from indigestion? Liver failure?

I have sorrows.

Oh, come on.

You don't have to starve because of some mishap.

If only.

I don't give a damn!

I am sorry to intrude, miss,

but I could almost be an older brother to you.

I knew immediately that something was bothering you.

I teach a mixed-sex class. I know a bit about women's psychology.

Why are you suffering?

Do you suffer from family sorrows?

- Pain. - Sorry?

- The pain of love. - I see.

It's a bad pain.

I know because I too, you know...

But you're a man, Professor.

Men...

are masculine and strong.

Yes, this is true.

Women, on the other hand, have been bound to suffer

since the dawn of time.

Do you know Genesis?

No, I'm not sure I do.

Well, women are always forced to suffer attacks from men who,

through misguided privilege, believe themselves entitled to.

But they are hypocrites and tyrants.

And also liars and scoundrels!

They only think about one thing.

- Yes, that one thing. - Excuse me.

Platonic love is over.

What did you say? What love?

The love Plato spoke about.

Oh no. Right now,

I'm mixing up all these singers.

- No, Miss. Plato was a philosopher. - Oh.

He would sleep with a woman for up to a year without touching her.

Such a great man.

Not that great.

I have only had one man. Osvaldo.

My Osvaldo was the complete opposite of that Plato you mentioned.

With all due respect, he would not even stay

in bed for a minute without touching me.

And after 11 years

of engagement,

he left me and got involved with a widow from Sant'Arcangelo di Romagna.

Without even a warning.

Without telling me anything. Suddenly.

Nothing. He said that if I didn't give it to him, he would get a headache.

He wanted proof of my love for him.

He kept asking, "Give it to me," until I gave it to him.

Right.

We should have married shortly after.

Why?

Because he was always finding excuses.

First his mother's illness, then his grandpa died.

Then he wasn't satisfied with his work.

In short, one day after another, 11 years have passed.

- Yes, I see. I see. - Eleven years.

But don't think I haven't had the opportunities to get married.

- Yes, of course. - Especially when he was abroad.

- Because he... - Of course.

He spent two years in Germany and one in Switzerland

- because he worked in hotels. - Oh.

Do you know that when a woman is on her own,

all men step up?

- Of course. - Look, Professor,

I have never made love with anyone else.

I swear to you, in the name of the Father, the Son,

and the Holy Spirit, should this boat sink right now.

- That's it. - I hope you have a good memory.

Take your drink as well, so that we can toast. Cheers.

All right. That's a little better.

Well...

So I gave him my virginity and also all my savings.

He said he was putting them away.

We needed that money for the house.

But do you think he bought it? Of course not.

And when he left me, I said, "Give me back

my savings, at least."

And he said, "I spent it on the house."

"Sorry. What house?"

And he replied, "Which house? My house."

He's quite a rascal, isn't he?

That is why I am now leaving this deep lake.

Everything here reminds me of him.

And of my sad love passion.

It sucked all my blood.

I'm going back to Lugo di Romagna.

To my dear mom!

I have always worked and I want my money back.

And he said, "Then sue me."

But I can't go to court. It's too complicated.

I don't even have a receipt.

My dear Miss Zoe, I feel you.

He didn't love you, it is clear.

I won't say so.

And yet, after all he did to me,

if he came back to me, I'd even take him.

Because a man, after 11 years, becomes part of you.

Sorry for venting to you. Thanks for the suitcase, Professor.

Oh, you're welcome.

And I...

I'm so stupid.

And faithful.

I loved him so much,

he had bewitched me.

Because, you know,

11 years...

is a very long time.

And now,

don't mind if I cry,

but I am so happy I found someone

to talk to, at last.

An important person, a professor.

A person who can help me and make sense of what happened to me.

You don't need to thank me.

- No, I... - I listened to you gladly.

You've been very kind.

I told you, I am...

I am a psychologist. That is why I am interested

in everything that is...

It's always good to see the human side of things.

And someone who suffers...

Someone who suffers... Well...

Well...

Anyway, I am glad I could help.

- In my small way. - Not so small.

Professor, I hope I have not bored you with my story.

A girl who has only been with one man in 11 years

knows very few subjects.

I know what my flaw is, and I'm proud.

I'm a romantic.

Come with me.

Walk this way, please.

Donna Annunziata lives here.

- On the ground floor. - Where is Verzilli?

Hey, Verzilli, take a nice overview,

a zoom, and then finish with a long shot of the door.

The TV from Rome has arrived!

Sarina!

Mrs. Annunziata, we'll ask some questions for our column.

Of course.

- Please look there. - Huh?

- Please look there. - Oh yeah.

- When did you get married? - Me?

- Yes. - I was 12 years old.

I was 12 years old. Be quiet.

I got a dispensation from the Pope.

- Really? And do you love your husband? - What?

Do you love your husband?

- I never thought about it. - Okay.

What is your job?

I used to be a painter,

- and I worked so hard, - Be quiet.

- but now, I'm getting by. - To the camera.

I sell cooked fish.

How many children do you have?

- What? - Hey...

- How many children? - Oh, 22.

- Twenty-two. Come on. - Gennarino, come here.

- Come here, Rosa. Carmelina. - Come here.

Show yourself on TV.

- Look, look. - Come on. Show yourself.

How beautiful she is.

- Beautiful. - My children are all beautiful.

How much does he earn per month?

- What? - How much does he earn per month?

Sometimes 50...

- To the camera. - Sometimes 50,

- sometimes 70, like this. - Yes.

- Can you manage? - Be quiet.

- Can you manage? - Put down the trumpet.

Yes, His Providence is great. Our life is beautiful.

La Repubblica once sent me 30,000 lire.

- Such happiness. - Yes!

Keep that hand down. Come on.

Say hello too.

Say hello to La Repubblica!

They sent us a telegram!

Giuseppe, say hello to La Repubblica.

Does it not seem irresponsible to have so many...

so many children without being able to feed them?

No, my children go around naked, summer and winter.

They're beautiful and strong.

I only bred one properly and he caught polio.

Don't you know there are means not to have children?

Be quiet. What?

"Counteraceptive" pills?

Yes, a social worker once brought me the pill.

And I got two of them. Now, I'll show them to you. Be quiet.

Hold her. Be good for a moment.

My blood is strong, I can bet on it.

I gave her the pill and got her pregnant anyway.

Here they are, look at them.

Tiny pill and Little pill. How beautiful.

- Beautiful. - Twenty-two children in 15 years.

- Yes. - How did you do that?

There are four couples. What are you doing? Go away!

If I make love two times without withdrawing,

twins are born.

Yes, and here they are. They even tap dance. Want to see them?

No.

A scientist said that my husband's a pig. It's piggish to have so many children.

He is the pig!

I only take my wife one way,

and not like they do in Milan or in some other city.

Did you know that there are other ways not to have children besides the pill?

Yes, "presservatives". But I get her pregnant anyway!

My husband has strong blood!

I am right, Don Ciccillo?

If children are born, it is always God's will.

Well done. Give it to Gennaro.

Don't do that all at once.

That's right, your husband's got strong blood,

but there are other ways not to get pregnant.

Positions, for example.

Positions? What do you mean?

Oh yeah, positions! Yes, of course.

We tried it once, but the children laughed, so we couldn't.

Wouldn't you like a more comfortable life, with fewer sacrifices?

What a beautiful color!

What? I never thought about it.

Come on. I'll give you some milk.

Don't cry, honey.

Did you see that? You scared it, and now it won't sing.

With all these children, I have no time to think. Now, I give it to you.

I always have to think about them, where they are, are they all here.

Understood?

Aren't you squeezed into two rooms?

No, for pity's sake.

Maybe now we do a little because my sister-in-law came

with her five children. Mari.

- Show yourself. - Nice to meet you.

- She's a widow. She always laughs. - To the camera.

- Five children. - Look over there.

Take pictures of her. She is "photo-igienic".

Yes, of course, and they all live here with you?

Yes, of course.

If there's food for 24, then there's food for 30.

Do you often make love?

Now, since La Repubblica

sent us a TV,

- we do it less. - Yes, we do it less.

Here you are.

Now, sir,

wait a moment, please. Give it to me.

Come to mommy.

Mama's girl. Look, sir.

You have to go, now.

- Are you feeling tired? - No, no, no.

- Hold her. - Sure.

- I'm in labor. - Oh.

Don't let the girl fall!

She is heavy. Hold her.

My blood is strong.

I could impregnate even a mare.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

And give my regards to the Rai scientist.

- Tell him that he's a swine! - Salvatore!

Are you entertaining the director of Rai?

Of course.

Why are you leaving, sir?

You can stay.

Are you not in labor?

No, I'm done.

He's a beautiful boy. Salvatore!

In the year 2000, 30 years from now,

there will be eight billion inhabitants on Earth.

We'll have to colonize the Moon

and move the surplus population to the satellite.

Forever yours

I will be

Together forever

Love forever

It's over, Paganini. Do your job.

Quick!

HOT FOOD 200 MT - SALARIA

Daje.

You ate well, mate!

I'm done.

I can't take it anymore.

No more. This time, I'm leaving for good.

I'm telling you.

It's over.

Our love is over.

I gave you nine years of love.

The best nine years of my life.

I sacrificed a career for you!

And what did you give me in return? Huh? What did you give me?

Comfort?

Sure, we have a certain degree of comfort,

but you can't live on bread alone, you know? No.

You, drunkard. Am I wrong?

The slave girl has broken her chains. You held me tight.

No more.

Never a nice gesture.

You never gave me a rose or a box

of Plasmon biscuits that I like so much.

You don't remember a single thing.

You forget everything.

All the good things that brought us together.

Everything.

You even forgot when we met that night

at Milleluci, on Via Nazionale.

And everyone stopped dancing

to look at the two of us.

VIOLIN DIPLOMA - TERESA TISIO

I went to the conservatory, you know?

I could be a concert pianist.

Where did you do the conservatory? Huh?

Did you attend the conservatory in prison?

You know what?

I've had enough.

I'm fed up.

I can't live with beatings and mortifications all my life.

Without kindness.

Spit it out. Spit it out.

Sleep well.

Sleep, ugly dirty man.

I'm going to Dr. Lazzarini.

Oh, he loved me so much. He always said he wanted to marry me.

One of the last times he said,

"Come and see me, Teresa.

I'll give you an audition and put you in the Rai musical staff."

Alright, it's been three years,

but Dr. Lazzarini is a man of his word.

You're done torturing me.

I used to play Handel's "Largo", you know?

What music do you make me play now, huh?

Pop songs?

I'm leaving for good, this time.

Don't call me because I'm not coming back.

Did you say something?

Teresa!

Teresa!

What the hell are you doing?

Come on. Make some coffee, quick!

No, you mimed badly. How can we understand?

Do it again. Come on.

Oh, yes. Here they are.

Ferdinando and Alberta as children.

They met on Palm Sunday 1946, in Trapani,

where their families have enjoyed a prominent position for centuries.

Alberta's grandfather, now deceased,

was the famous notary Genco Raffa Tatania,

who was the provincial party secretary of Trapani from 1925 to 1930.

Ferdinando's family

is the Atripalda Micaci family.

And Ferdinando's uncle is that great politician

who was the leader of the Emerenzian majority

within the Restinio-Flanzi-Patanè current.

This one, you see?

In the early 1960s, Ferdinando and Alberta lost sight of each other.

Ferdinando was studying Law in Rome

and Alberta was traveling with the Salsaparuta ladies.

They went to Paris,

London,

and to the hippie rally

on Easter Island.

She traveled to learn foreign languages,

sociology, psychology, French literature,

but also English, German, Danish, Swedish,

and even Norwegian literature.

They met again only a few years later, in the winter of '68,

on the beach at Pozzarillo.

They got married in February and settled here, in Rome,

where Ferdinand was appointed as a sector lawyer at CNEN.

Friendly, good-looking, so smart,

Alberta and Ferdinando

quickly made a wide circle of prominent friends.

Their parties are to be considered real intellectual seminars.

And I obtained from Alberta permission to record on the tape recorder

one of these delightful debates.

Here we are.

But group love, group concubinage,

as Malinowski defines it,

in his The Sexual Life of Savages in North- Western Melanesia,

was already practiced 50 years ago

by the natives of Tropiande Islands.

Couples would meet in a house called "Bukumatula".

You're right, darling, but we must also say...

What?

...that Malinowski specifies that the natives of Tropiande Islands

did not practice partner swapping.

Sexual ownership was exclusive.

- That's true. - Eh.

But they undeniably indulged

in a kind of mutual voyeurism.

- Of course. - As you see,

there is no antinomy.

Is he a Russian general?

No, Malinowski was an anthropologist.

But you still owe us an answer.

So, do you condemn or not condemn these Partuses?

As a man or as a lawyer?

As a man.

He is called Fartuse after that...

old-fashioned philosopher?

Oh, no! You are confusing

Partuse with Marcuse and Malinowski with Tuchačevskij.

Then I no longer follow you, ladies and gentlemen.

There is, in fact, a Russian general by the name of Malinovskij.

Mr. Lawyer?

- I don't condemn, I absolve. - Good.

Otherwise, I would not be a lawyer. However, my friends,

reading the readers' correspondence in the weekly magazine Sex,

one is left a little perplexed.

- So many people... - Yes, however...

I'll call you Mr. However.

Of course, we want progress, however...

Yes, we want freedom. However... We're radishes, Mr. Lawyer.

We look red, but inside, we're white.

Great vegetable-political comparison, honey. You're gorgeous.

But what do we call

those people who write that stuff in the newspapers?

What shall we call them, my dear?

I'd call them filthy.

Let's hear from Alberta.

Alberta.

You know what the lawyer says?

He says that those who devote themselves to free love

are filthy.

Come on. Come on.

You call them filthy.

With this slang epithet, sexual freedoms are swept away

with prohibitions and archetypes.

But I reject archetypes on principle.

Indeed, my principle is the rejection of principles.

However...

May I say "however", Mr. Lawyer?

However, if by the term "filthy" one means

heterodox ways of achieving mating,

in this case...

I'm a filthy person myself.

Right, husband?

Of course, she's filthy! Why not?

She's dirty and filthy!

What did you say? What did he say, Carlo?

He said "dirty and filthy". Don't shoot the messenger.

She's my filthy little girl.

Don't bother the lady, Turi. Quiet, quiet.

Turiddu is upset. He's so upset.

He too has sexual problems.

Listen. Is it true that you were also in Copenhagen

at the porn exhibition?

Where they say they do all kinds of stuff,

dirty movies and even sexual exhibitions. And in public!

Yes, I went there. And alone, too.

Of course, I was busy at the international nuclear congress.

But I didn't object to her request at all, did I?

You didn't object, dear.

Excuse me, madam.

Was there a reprimand in your voice? Maybe I'm wrong.

Of course there was.

No, why? I simply...

You simply mean that there is

a difference between the Copenhagen exhibition and, say,

the exhibition of Sardinian handicrafts.

Perfect.

You're absolutely right, Alberta.

Love, ladies and gentlemen...

- As eros. - as eros, of course,

- is a natural expression. - Hmm.

An adult...

It's physiological, almost mechanical, I'd say.

- Yes. - Go on, Ferdinando, please.

Excuse me, my love, for interrupting.

An adult, I was saying,

whether bound by family ties or not,

must, within his sexual sphere,

be able to have any experience, madam.

Right, right.

Any? What do you mean, any?

Any whatever.

Needless to say, that goes for women as well.

Needless to say, you know?

Yes, but it's better to say it because you said "an adult".

Meaning a male.

Good point.

Can you bring me the ashtray, Marina, and tell Carmelo to bring me the ice?

Yes, madam.

In short,

Alberta's message is addressed to all ladies, present and absent.

And it should be understood as a woman's right to openly discuss

her most intimate problems.

Did you record it?

- I like it. - Yes, of course.

Well done.

You must explore, explicate, and fly.

Be eagles, my friends, and not quails.

Are you an eagle or a quail, Professor?

- A snipe. - A big snipe!

And he also wants to keep up with sexual progress!

That's typical,

pretending to be open-minded and being conformist.

Keeping the wife locked in the house

and then going whoring.

Wait, what?

What did she say?

Can you go back and turn it up?

There you go. It's typical.

Pretending to be open-minded and basically being conformist.

Keeping the wife at home, double locked,

and then going whoring.

What a colorful language, huh?

Excuse me, Mrs. Dorina.

You pretend to be surprised at my wife's language.

But you are actually surprised that, contrary to your beliefs,

we islanders are not at all

unwaveringly Turiddi,

Lole, and Alfi.

Perfect, Ferdinando.

Literature.

It fucks you all.

- Sure, that fucks you. - Literature.

Of course. The poor Sicilian peasant

couldn't think about the future.

- But the world goes on. - Of course it does.

And Sicily with it.

You're right.

- You're right, my love. - Excuse me.

- What about the mafia? - Huh?

She asked about the mafia.

- We are not unprepared. - We were expecting it.

We're not unprepared. Don't you agree?

- You answer, honey. - No, please.

Madam, if the Sicilian mafioso

had more sexual possibilities,

he would no longer find the incentive to act criminally.

Of course.

Mafia. "Miserable Adults

Full of Intimate Abnormalities".

Our personal definition fits like a glove.

But in short, as Róheim wrote,

we should, like flowers, carry the seeds in our heads, i.e. our genitals.

And exhibit them without any shame.

Let's get out of the magma.

Listen to me, madam, get out.

Get out! Mr. However,

professor, doctor, what's your name?

Enough prejudices. And you too, sir,

you must come out of the magma.

Finally, Carmelo. Did you get the ice at the North Pole?

Alberta is right.

You always say the right things, my love.

Down with the mask, you all.

Down with all the hypocrisies, the pretenses, the inhibitions.

What is this? The game of truth?

- Sort of. - Talleyrand said

that sex is the theatre of the poor, but it's everyone's theatre.

- Of course. - It's the most fascinating show,

so raise the curtain.

- Come on, ladies. Raise the curtain.

- Come on! - Well, I can do it.

I've got nothing to hide.

Well said.

Those who fornicate outside of wedlock must admit it fairly!

What are we getting at?

Professor, please.

I admit, sometimes I fornicated.

- Well done, Professor! A brave man. - Oh.

- Nice. - Come on. Confess your sins.

- Come on. - Open up, please.

You, beardy.

Does your wife know you're sleeping with your father's nurse?

Tell your wife. Come on.

Well? He doesn't have the courage.

- And you, Ferdinando? You! - Me?

What do you say? Shall I open up?

Open up, please.

Of course I will! Give me the microphone.

Well, when I get the urge,

I'll load a nice whore from Torre di Quinto in my car,

alright?

This is routine!

Yes, that's routine!

And so, I inform you

that I lay with our maid, Marina.

Yes, the young girl from Calabria.

She seems rough, but intimately, she's very tender. Is that all right?

And not only with her.

One Sunday afternoon, I lay with Marina's paternal aunt.

She came to visit her but didn't find her.

Do you realize, ladies and gentlemen? Do you realize?

Albertina and I

have found an extraordinary modus vivendi.

We found it, neh?

As they say in Turin.

Indeed, this was a revelation.

I never said these things to Alberta before.

- Never. - Is it true that I never told you?

And yet look how impassively she smiles.

She is approving my behavior.

Right, my love?

No. Let's hear the counterpart and do not influence the witness.

No?

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas.

Truth first.

Of course, truth first, my friends.

All right.

- My dear Ferdinando. - Yes.

- I can reproach you for one thing only. - Yes.

That you admitted all this so belatedly.

Better late than never, right?

Besides, I have my own admissions to make.

Do you follow me, madam?

So, I investigated myself

and wanted to ascertain whether extramarital intercourse

improves and completes us

or whether it results in anguish

as a legacy of our blackmailing moral education.

And did it result in anguish?

Let her speak!

- Let her speak. - No.

It did not happen.

- You see? - It did not happen at all.

Nor when I mated with the young graduate student across the street.

Do you know him, my love?

- I don't remember him. - He's pale, thin,

as if consumed by feverish intellectual activities.

So sweet and helpless.

Nor when I mated with Carmelo.

Carmelo?

The old butler?

- Yes. Is there a problem? - None.

- He's such an ugly man! - Of course, but...

My dear friends,

there must be no obstacle on the road to erotic experience.

Shall I go on?

- Go on, my love, of course. - Eh.

It was out of respect for these principles

that at the Copenhagen exhibition

I mated in public

with a young Danish plumber with long blond hair.

Never seen him before.

Never seen him before.

Oh, sorry.

I didn't realize the tape...

was running out.

And what else did she say during

this intellectual seminar, as you called it?

Well,

I don't know. I don't remember.

It still seems so weird to me.

It was already very late.

And deep down, we were all a bit uncomfortable.

And so, shortly afterwards, we left.

I stayed last,

and I must admit that as soon as I closed the door behind me,

I lingered to listen.

Go on.

I heard their voices but just a few sentences.

- Champagne, dear? - No, merci.

Maybe you should admit you exaggerated.

What have I exaggerated about?

In lying, in showing recklessness.

And you...

- Huh? - Didn't you lie?

Wait a moment, please.

Let us not shift the focus of the issue.

The issue is the exaggeration of lies.

Not whether I lied or not. Understood?

I am thrilled, let me tell you.

It was a lesson for us.

You call that a lesson?

I'd call it a dump.

But dear lady,

can sincerity ever be reprehensible?

You didn't understand anything.

They are right.

The world goes on.

- And who... - Hey!

- Speak up! - You first!

Is the story of Torre di Quinto true?

Is it true about Carmelo?

- Whore! - Cuckhold!

You, shameful! I'll kill you!

They are shooting!

They're shooting!

Run!

A tragedy is happening.

I can't hear anything.

I hear footsteps.

There.

What was that?

Have you forgotten something?

Those gunshots,

those shouts... What happened?

I heard nothing.

Nothing happened.

She's dead.

Oh, God.

And that was that, Mr. Examining Magistrate.

All dead.

I think Ferdinando shot the student,

the butler Carmelo,

and Alberta.

And Alberta

shot first the maid Marina

and then her husband.

Their cat

must have been hit by a stray bullet,

but I don't know who shot it.

I was there. It was terrible.

At one point, the sky was covered with airplanes and down came the bombs.

Bombs like it was raining.

Tell him about the bombs, Eliana.

And then, more planes and more bombs.

There were flying arms and legs.

We were in a pool of blood.

Eliana,

tell them about the blood.

And when, finally, this hell ended,

I looked around and saw the ground covered with corpses.

There were corpses everywhere.

Tell them how many dead people there were, Eliana.

Tell them about the dead people, Eliana.

To hell with you and dead people!

What color is God's skin

Is it black, red, yellow

MYSTICAL SONG FESTIVAL

We are all the same before Him

What color is God's skin

It is black, red, yellow Brown and white because

We are all the same before Him

What color is God's skin

What color...

Thank you.

And after our good Albertino

and the Trio Dei Diavoletti,

here, among us, is a singer.

Not one from Canzonissima.

You hear too many of them on the radio,

on television, on the record players.

She is one of our sisters

who, besides the gift of the soul, has received from God

the gift of music.

And here she is, Sister Katherine, who will sing

"Et Dominus Venit".

It was night in my heart

It was dark in my mind

I lay sadly

I lived without love

Till my Lord came

Dirindon, dirindon Till my Lord came

Dirindon, dirindon

Till my Lord came

"Where are you?", I called out to Him

I can't see you, I can't hear you

I was alone and listened

But I heard only the wind

I didn't hear my Lord

Dirindon, dirindon, I didn't hear my Lord

Dirindon, dirindon

I didn't hear my Lord

I was alone in the cell

And I left the door open

Ego sum tua virgo puella

I know you will come for sure

Come, come, my Lord

Dirindon, dirindon

Come, come, my Lord

Dirindon, dirindon Come, come, my Lord

And the Lord came

Thank you, Lord, for the great honor That you do by coming to me

I am your slave waiting for you Come, Lord, I am here for you

Behold, Lord, I see you Behold, Lord, I hear you

No, don't go, stay with me No, don't go, stay with me

Wait, Lord, wait, Lord

I am coming with you, I am coming with you

I have been looking for you, my Lord

I have found you, my Lord

I thank you, my Lord

Hallelujah, my Lord

Dirindon, dirindon, Hallelujah, my Lord

Dirindon, dirindon, I thank you, my Lord

And now, there's Agostino, singing

"Someone Doesn't Know How to Pray".

All the people in the world pray for you

But there's someone who doesn't know How to pray

And if someone can no longer pray

They shall not enter the house of the Lord

They shall not enter the house of the Lord

They shall not enter the house of the Lord

In a little while,

we will present the show of the thrill globe.

This sensational sporting show

is here, for the first time, at the funfair.

Our acrobats on motorbikes will tackle those steel walls

by pinning vertically.

And it's with pleasure

that we present you, for the first time...

Erika Stoltz!

The sexiest girl you've ever seen.

Never seen before on this stage.

Four gold medals,

two silver medals at the Geneva International Festival.

You'll see her, on her motorbike,

facing the dangers of those steel walls

by spinning vertically.

Wheels up,

head down, and somersault, always on her motorbike.

The only woman of her kind

to perform these dangerous stunts.

Hey!

Hey!

- And up! - And now,

our acrobat,

the most fascinating acrobat ever to be applauded,

is going to perform in her own show.

Buy your tickets, please. Take your seats. Here we go.

Hey!

And now, Erika Stoltz

is about to perform the double loop-the-loop,

which already twice has caused her to fracture

her seventh cervical vertebra.

Our sporting public is warned

that no insurance company

or even the lords of London wanted us as their clients.

This means

our athlete is subjecting herself

- to an enormous risk. -Oplà!

She comes from a distinguished family of Upper Silesian acrobats,

prize-winners at all the international festivals,

- Hey! - with gold and silver medals.

Let's give a round of applause to our valiant athlete.

And now, Erika Stoltz and Armando Betowski

will perform the flying cross.

One motorbike turns horizontally

and the other turns vertically.

Yep!

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. The show is over.

And now, Erika will come among you in person

to thank you for what you have to offer.

That is our total benefit.

Thanks. If you have no change,

we also accept bucks.

Rest assured that none of us will be offended.

You're amazing.

Thank you.

A hundred thousand? I'll get your change.

No, no.

Let's meet tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. at my place.

10 Via Bosio, apartment eight.

Yes, but tomorrow is Sunday.

I have a matinée, but... that's okay.

- Sir. - Commander.

Good.

This commander is crazy.

Verrückt.

Down.

Alright, Commander?

- Again. - Again.

Demete!

Demete!

I'm coming!

Take the children. Today, I go to the committee and decide everything.

Go with Uncle.

When will the strike end?

- When the commander drops his trousers. - Eh.

Shut up, idiot.

Be careful he doesn't put you in jail, one time or another.

I wish they would put me in prison.

it would be like a holiday. I never had one.

If he gives me a raise, I'll buy a moped, I swear!

Get in there. Always pissing!

Go away, jerk.

Fuck! Watch out!

It's making me fall!

Holy Virgin Mary.

What a pratfall!

Ouch!

Oh, God, I'm dead.

I see everything upside down. Where's my bicycle?

What's this high wall, a hospital?

A tavern!

Do I have any broken bones?

Oh, all my ribs hurt so much.

That swine will have to pay me.

- He must give me millions! - Of course!

Ah. Is that water?

- It's grappa. - It's not good for you!

For her First Communion, she and her grandpa

had 22 drinks.

So, how did the accident happen?

Did you recognize the vehicle?

Of course I did.

It's the yeast truck.

The one from the biscuit factory.

That swine wanted to run me over! To run me over!

Are you sure? You're not confused?

I'm not confused because I'm the one

who unloads the yeast every morning.

I recognized the driver.

They call him Addis Ababa.

Does Addis Ababa have a motive for revenge?

Maybe he's jealous.

Jealous? Jealous? The commander wants to kill me!

The biscuit factory owner

gave the order to kill me!

Mr. Favareto?

Exactly. He had already sent me to prison for the first strike.

When I came out of prison,

the commander said,

"My dear little girl,

if you are good, we will make a deal

and I'll appoint you supervisor."

And instead, since you continued to organize strikes,

he ordered to...

Yes! Exactly.

He gave him orders

to run me over with the yeast truck.

You got any witnesses?

He was there, poor thing.

My dear girl, if you are so sure, why don't you press charges?

Why? Because the commander has a gang of six lawyers

who are scary just to look at.

Whereas I'm a widow!

- I feed three children. - A grigioverde.

Three. I have a half-wit brother-in-law to feed.

And I still wear my husband's shoes

who died last year crushed by a rock.

My shoes? Where are my shoes?

- I want my shoes! - Sorry, I didn't know

they were yours. I took them for charity.

Charity.

I know you well, my dear.

You have such long hands.

Ouch, my arm hurts.

Ow, gimme another glass. Quick.

COMANDER FAVARETO IS A PIG

COMANDER'S DOUGHTER TAKES DRUGS HIS SUN HAS RACING CAR

THE DOG EATS THE BEST STEIKS

AND WE STARV

Commander of the people, pimp!

- Enough! - Calm down, girls, calm down.

- I am on your side. - Liar, sellout.

- We are fed up! - I come from the ranks, too.

You clown! Bloody thief!

- There. - That's enough.

Enough with these tomatoes!

Palmira, be good. Commander Favareto

begs you for a personal favor.

Let's hear what the dear commander wants.

The commander begs you

to let the truck pass to save the panettone.

If not, they'll be worms.

Why doesn't he come here to talk to me?

We are tired, enough. Murderers and starvers.

Hey!

Calm down, Palmira.

The commander wants to but he has other things, other factories

to look after. I am here to find a way of conciliation.

I've been wasting my time with you bootlickers.

- Enough! I want to talk to the commander. - Be good.

- Enough! - Listen, Palmira.

The girls haven't been paid for two weeks.

- So what! - Are you hoping

he will drop his trousers?

- Yes, I am. - You are wrong. You'll find yourselves

in dire straits, but he'll win.

- No! - We are stronger!

Tell him, you pimp! Sellout.

Shame on you.

- Swine, swine. - That's it!

Go home, you sluts, broken asses. Go home.

Go crash with your car,

so you end up like your brother.

- Look, Palmira! - What?

Murderer!

Coward!

Sellout!

Ruiner!

Delinquent!

Fool! Swine!

Swine! Swine!

Pimp!

Damn you!

I'll show you!

We're hungry!

Give us a raise!

We want money!

Ninety lire an hour!

Direct management!

WE WANT THE RAISE!

Swine!

Girls.

Listen to me, girls.

Who are the representatives?

Menegato Palmira.

- Bufalo Maria. - Marchesini Bertilla.

Who is in charge of the internal commission?

Menegato Palmira.

Given the untenable situation that has arisen,

Commander Favareto

has decided to negotiate personally and awaits you in his office.

What did I tell you? He shits in his pants.

He's putting his car at your disposal, so we'll make it quicker.

No, no, no, no.

We don't get in the master's car. No!

Stop.

We ride our bicycles!

- Throw the tomatoes! - You're rude.

You stay here without making a fuss.

I'll be right back. All right, let's go.

If only I could listen.

She'll teach him a lesson.

Christmas holidays are approaching, Palmira.

And like every year, when the baby Jesus is about to be born,

you call a general strike and block my production of panettone.

When do you want me to block it? At mid-August?

Is that better?

I understand that you have become all atheists and materialists,

but taking advantage of the baby Jesus...

Listen to me, director.

We may be atheists,

but you, every time the baby Jesus comes down,

make a lot of millions.

Did you know that in the factory, there are tons of dough under yeast

that have been waiting for six days?

Of course I know that. I put the yeast in.

And do you know that if we don't put these tons of dough

in the oven by tomorrow, we'll have to throw them away?

Yes, that's why you have to drop your trousers.

Is that so?

Lawyer, please,

explain to Mrs. Palmira what happens

if she lets the dough deteriorate.

He now reads the penal code.

Listen.

"Article 122 of the code of Criminal Procedure.

Whoever causes deterioration

or lets consumer goods deteriorate or basic necessities

shall be punished

- Give me a light. - with two to five years in prison

and a fine of 150,000 lire."

How much did you say?

Two to five years in prison.

Why don't you come to defend us

instead of siding with the bosses?

I would hang them all from a tree.

Dear Palmira,

our lawyers are paid by our company.

And if you do not let the truck of the scabs pass,

according to that article of Law, we are forced

to call in the Mobile Units.

Do I make myself clear?

It's always like that.

It starts with Jesus and ends with the police.

So, madam.

Shall we come to an agreement?

No, I don't want to negotiate with lawyers anymore.

I came to talk to the commander and if he doesn't come, I won't talk.

Listen, Palmira,

it's useless for you to wait because the commander is not coming.

Do you know what he told me?

I won't talk to that whore anymore.

What did he say?

I won't talk to that whore anymore.

Really?

If the commander doesn't come here,

I'll pay him a visit.

Let's go, tose.

It's a wardrobe.

Who are you?

The representative of the internal committee.

And what's that?

I must speak to the commander.

My father isn't here.

I'll wait for him.

Florindo.

At your service, miss.

- Take this girl to my mother. - All right.

Does the commander know it's dead?

No. No one had the courage to tell him.

You came at a bad time.

Poor commander.

It was the dearest thing he had.

Be careful not to slip because I have just

- waxed it. - There.

A human creature.

No, dear, the commander doesn't know.

Madam, the representative of I don't know what has arrived.

I'll call you back later.

Good morning, dear.

Are you here for some charity?

No, it's not charity.

I'm from the factory. I need to speak to the commander.

But dear, this is not the time. Did you hear?

Did you know the dog died?

Yes, yes, I know, I know.

But I'm from the factory.

A mess has happened.

They want to send the Mobile Units against us with tear gas bombs.

And if all hell breaks loose, it's my fault.

But who are you?

Me? I'm Palmira Menegatto.

- You're Palmira? - Yes.

If you knew how much pain you've given my husband.

He did the same to me.

Maybe you're the cause of his heartache.

Maybe.

He talks about you all the time, even mentions you in his sleep.

Yes, thank you. I know what he calls me.

That's my son.

- The one who had the car accident? - Yes.

A chocolate?

No, thanks. It gives me the shits.

- Not only the poor have problems. - Ouch!

- And two. - We are very unhappy too.

He lost his legs.

They say my daughter is taking drugs.

It even was in the papers.

You guys are poor but at least you have your health.

I wish, madam.

I have chronic bronchitis.

My little girl has rheumatism.

My brother-in-law is half mad because his mind exploded in the mine.

- You judge. - Madam Countess.

Engineer Brigenti is on the phone.

Hello?

Good morning, engineer.

Is the commander returning here?

Have you told him about the misfortune?

What?

There are so many men there and no one had the courage to tell him?

Alright.

Listen, Palmira.

You command.

You are such a strong and brave woman. Do me a favor, please.

Of course. If I can.

- The commander is coming back. - Yes.

Tell him the dog is dead.

Me?

Why me? What do I have to do with the dog?

Please.

Find the right words and remember that the commander has a bad heart.

Heart.

The right words.

I don't know. I'll say it as it comes.

Eh.

You see, Palmira, that dog was the dearest thing he had in the world.

Tell him with some tact.

I'll try.

What if he dies on me?

What are you doing here, you ugly bitch?

Commander!

Commander. Commander.

What the hell do you want? Not only at the factory.

- No. - You bust my balls at home too.

A misfortune has happened.

- An accident at the factory? - Yes.

- No, Commander. - Did Robertino crash with the car?

No, sir.

It happened to the dog.

What happened to my Febo?

It's... It's...

- Bronchitis. - What?

Yes.

Actually... pneumonia.

Pneumonia?

Double pneumonia.

But then you must call the vet!

No, sir. No, because...

It's dead.

- My Febo? - Yes.

- Is he dead? - Yes, it is.

Palmira! Palmira!

- Oh, I feel sick. Help! - No.

- No, Commander. Wait, no! - Oh!

- No, the dog is not dead. - My heart!

- It's still alive, I swear. - My heart!

Wait, please!

- Hey, the commander's sick! - Oh!

Some vinegar, for God's sake! Where are the servants?

- Come! No, don't die on me now. - Oh!

Or else it's all my fault.

Quick. Come! The commander has hit his head.

- Oh. - Come on. Help me.

- Come on, Commander. Yes. - My poor Febo is dead.

It was a dog.

- Who are you, dear? - It was a dog.

- Who are you? - I am your Palmira, Commander.

Breathe. Oh, God, Mama. Come up.

- Take a deep breath. Come on. - Please.

Come on. You're heavy. Don't fall.

- I want to see it. - Come on. Have a drink.

- Drink. It's a dog, a dog. - Take me to him.

Look at my Febo.

A few hours ago, you were here wagging your tail on the lawn.

And now, you're dead.

This was a good, faithful creature.

With no malice.

He gave me everything and asked me nothing.

Perhaps it was too good.

You see, Palmira,

we make war on each other over a 50-lire raise.

Ninety, actually.

And then it all ends in nothing.

- How in nothing, Commander? - Death.

Ah! Well, yes.

It is easy to say "that one is rich, that one is poor", and then...

It's useless talk.

Useless.

- Useless. - You see, Palmira,

- that stray dog? - Which one, Commander?

- That black one. - Ah, yes. Cute.

Every morning, it asks us for a piece of bread

to get ouf hunger.

Now, it is still alive,

and my poor Febo,

who ate prime meat,

who lacked nothing,

who had the whole mansion at his disposal,

is now dead.

He's dead.

That's life, Commander.

Yes, that's life.

But then, Palmira, why fight so much and make war with each other

for 50 lire an hour?

Let's say 70.

That's what I say.

Sit down, Palmira, sit down.

Thanks.

We have to love each other, Palmira, get along well.

Because sooner or later, we all end up like my Febo.

You are right, Commander. In fact, I had come to find an agreement.

But now...

Good, Palmira.

Well done. Listen, Commander, let's do this.

Let's raise it to 45 lire.

So you won the game and I

won't be humiliated in front of the girls for having made

a useless strike.

Good, Palmira, you're always clever.

You caught me in a moment of weakness.

- It's not like that. - But I must say yes.

Really? Thank you, Commander.

- Thank you! - What have you done here?

Nothing, nothing. I fell down. Nothing, nothing.

- Do we agree? Thank you very much. - Agreed.

- Thank you. Then, 45 lire per hour! - Go, go.

Thanks, thanks!

And tell them that tomorrow, I'll come to the factory!

And I'll fix everything! Tell them!

Thanks also from all the girls! Yes!

And thanks on behalf of the internal committee!

Condolences.

Be praised.

I went to the mansion,

I cornered him,

and I got a 45 lire an hour raise!

Now, we have to start working again.

Because if not, we'll ruin the dough. Let's put the panettone in the oven!

Here's the commander.

Long live the commander! Long live panettone!

Commander.

Commander, Commander.

The Mobile Units are coming, Palmira!

Ouch!

A macchiato, sir?

An orangeade, miss.

- I'm coming. - An orangeade, an orangeade!

All okay?

Here's your orangeade.

Voilà.

- So little? - Yeah, shut up.

Passengers are requested to fasten their seat belts

and not to smoke, please.

Your seatbelt, please, madam.

It's nothing!

Absolutely nothing.

Fasten your seatbelts, please.

There's no danger!

Nothing. There's no... danger!

What's going on?

- Yes, ma'am? - I'm scared, Mommy.

No worries.

- I'm scared. - No.

The captain's playing with the plane.

It's nothing. Quiet, quiet. It's all over.

It's really...

Don't worry.

It's nothing. It's all over.

Nothing, nothing. It's over.

It's nothing. No, nothing, nothing.

It's nothing.

Saint Agata of Motta Camastra, help me, please!

I didn't want to work as a hostess.

It was all his fault, Carmelo, who made me do the interview.

And he told me, "We'll fly together."

What do I care?

God, may he die where he stands.

This is my last flight. Please,

let me come down safely.

What can I do?

I swear to you on my mother's grave.

I beg you, Saint Agata!

The flames of hell! Please, help me.

Help me.

My hair!

I'll tear it all off. And I'm going to lock myself

in the nunnery.

With the daughters of Saint Agata of Motta Camastra, all clean-shaven.

Help me, Saint Agata, please!

Help me! I want to shave my head.

I make a vow, please.

A vow. Saint Agata.

You saved me, Saint Agata.

My dear Saint Agata. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

as you can see, we have emerged happily out of the eye of the storm.

Our commander thanks you for keeping calm

and hopes... Saint Agata!

Ladies and gentlemen, please

don't smoke and above all,

don't unbuckle your seat belts.

I can give you good news.

The lawyer says that by January, I'll have the sentence from the Sacred Rota.

How nice.

Are you happy?

Today, to compete with divorce, priests are more open-minded.

Look at that one.

Beautiful woman.

Pretty cheeky, isn't she?

Why would you say she is cheeky?

She keeps looking at you.

- You're far from being charming. - Me?

No, me.

My wife agrees.

She does?

She doesn't even ask for alimony.

- That's good. - You got great eyes.

If she doesn't stop, I'll smack her twice.

Eat. Come on.

I'd like a rare steak.

And bring me the mustard, please.

What's going on, Sasà?

Shut up, Fefé. Shut up. Just pretend nothing's going on.

Be discreet, I beg you. Behind you.

She's flirting with me.

Don't turn around.

She's got a date.

What does that mean?

Wake up, Fefé.

We're in Rome. Don't you read the newspapers?

In Rome, men are either vicious or cuckolded.

We could get married

in spring. Or early summer.

Yes, of course.

June would be perfect.

And then we could go to Spain.

- To that nice hotel in Marbella. - Sure.

It's beautiful.

So, we'll pay American style tonight?

You're really crazy. I don't have a penny.

Do not eat, then.

Oh, well!

Listen, I don't want to sit next to you.

Damn, but you invited me!

- The bill, please. - Of course.

You're so sweet tonight.

Guys, Renée is staring at someone.

The victim is blonde and accompanied.

How dumb are you.

If you all turn around, the husband notices.

But that one's vicious.

But how? First, she's staring at me,

and now, she's staring at the dyke. What does that mean?

We are in Rome, Sasà, the city of strange loves.

Ménage à trois. And maybe the cuckold is watching.

Renée, it's done, huh?

- Shall we go, honey? - Yes.

She's leaving. She's leaving.

Good thing she's leaving. We'll do the accounts at home.

Eat, eat, then you'll hear me.

I'm sorry, but you're not getting anywhere with her.

Sooner or later, all women do. Because with you men, they die of boredom.

What a beautiful evening.

- You smell so good. - There you go.

- Watch your step. - Yes, I will.

There, that's the buildable area.

And after all, the councilor is a worthy person.

A dear friend of ours.

This is Roma 2121. This is Carlo Malagatta speaking.

Hundreds of women have phoned us...

What do you think is the reason for the success of the transmission?

For me, this need for public confession

in front of millions of listeners

is an entirely extraordinary phenomenon.

And that also concerns also the church.

This morning we have here a lady

who has a big problem. Hello, madam?

Hello, Dr. Malagatta?

- Shall I close, sir? - No, with the Monsignor's permission.

Yes, I also listen very willingly.

You, some time ago,

had a certain experience.

Yes, Mr. Malagatta. I am still in a state of shock because of something

that happened to me two months ago.

I'm all shaken up.

Strange. It sounds like your wife's voice.

Yes, it does. It sounds like me too. Bruno, speak up.

Yes, dear, speak up.

Two months ago,

when I went shopping...

I beg your pardon?

Two months ago, when I was shopping...

Come on, madam.

...I was raped by three brutes.

What? Speak up.

I was raped by three brutes.

Listen, lady. Can I call you by name?

-Does your husband know? - No.

I didn't have the courage to tell him.

Madam?

Can you tell us how it happened?

Yes.

Yes, I'll tell you.

It was dark. And I was standing on Via dell'Anima, at the corner of...

Via dei Coronari. The street was deserted.

At some point, I heard a man following me.

So I stopped.

And he stopped too.

He was very tall, Mr. Malagatta. Very tall.

Pale as a corpse.

- With two terrible eyes. -But, madam,

did you try to escape?

To call for help?

I couldn't. Because he was looking at me.

He was staring at me.

And then I... I could smell his breath.

His boozer breath and...

I tried to scream, but...

My mouth wouldn't open.

I tried to run away but I couldn't.

Because I lacked strength.

-Yes, yes, go on. - All right.

I stood still and trembled with fear.

And I stared at him, as if hypnotized.

Unable to make any movement.

It was a terrible thing,

Mr. Malagatta. Yes, it was.

That sinister man approached me slowly.

And I was pinned against the wall.

I could see his hideous face.

And his bloodshot eyes.

And he was laughing, Mr. Malagatta.

He laughed. He laughed so heartily.

Madam?

Madam, can you hear me? Hello, madam?

Did the line go dead?

Madam? Madam?

Hello, madam?

At this point, it is better

to call the orphans from Brescia. Hello? Ah, the line is back.

Hello, madam?

-Right, go ahead! - Yes.

He pushed me and threw me into a small door.

Then I gathered all the strength I had in me

and shouted, "Leave me alone, you swine!"

Then he gave me a tremendous blow on the head

and I fainted in his arms.

Yes. And then?

And then that filthy man

loaded me on his shoulders

and carried me down to the bottom,

to a basement!

Into a warehouse full of packing cases.

Where there were two other horrible guys.

One with a disgusting face

and a terrible wine stain on his cheek.

Then, some kind of dwarf,

very pale. With a thin scar

running across his face.

And a hump between his shoulders.

Those three beastly men

took off my fur coat, ripped off my dress,

and threw me on a plank.

The giant tied me up

and I remained like that,

naked,

exposed to their lustful gazes.

How hot she was.

Completely naked, Mr. Malagatta.

I have never undressed, not even in front of my husband.

-That's enough, madam. - No, I have to tell you everything.

The dwarf approached me, bit my ear,

and blood spurted out.

Then, the scarred one pulled out his whip

and started whipping me

all over my body, Mr. Malagatta.

And so, the three monsters raped me.

First, the giant, then, the dwarf, then, the scarred one.

-Madam... - Then again the dwarf,

the scarred one, and the giant.

- The giant, the dwarf, the scarred one. -Madam!

Then the giant, the dwarf again, and the scarred one.

-Madam! We got it. - And then the dwarf.

Hey, madam.

But why, in all these months, you haven't tried, I mean,

at least tried to confide,

to open up to your husband? Can you hear me, madam?

Yes, I hear you, Mr. Malagatta.

But why, then, did you feel the need to tell us about

this experience of yours?

Because those three energetic men must be punished.

Did you report them?

I went to the police station. I saw hundreds of photos of criminals.

Then, I also paid a private investigator.

I went back to Via dell'Anima, hoping

to find at least one of them, but nothing.

Don't think about it, madam.

Think about your hubby. Try to forget.

I can't.

I can't forget.

I am so afraid of being attacked again, Mr. Malagatta.

-Tell me one thing. - Yes.

You live in a big city, don't you? You don't live in the country.

-So what? - Well,

I live in a flat, 34 Via delle Palme.

It's an attic in an isolated house.

You should also know

that on Thursdays and Fridays, my husband is in Milan,

and I'm left alone.

All right, but in your building,

there must be someone else, no?

- A doorman? - Yes, there's the doorman.

-But then, how do they find you? - It's very simple.

It's very simple, Mr. Malagatta.

They climb over the wall

in the garden, which is low.

Then they enter the garage, take the service lift,

go up to the top floor, they jump onto the little terrace,

they slip into my room,

and there, they do with me whatever they like. Understand?

-Yes, I understand. - And they can do it every Thursday,

from 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Because during those hours, I am alone and helpless, Mr. Malagatta.

And today is Thursday.

Do you understand? It's Thursday!

And that's why I'm afraid.

All right. All right, madam. We understood that.

- Really? -Next time,

-we'll let you talk to our psychologist. - Yes.

Now, we say goodbye.

-And put on a musical interlude. - Yes.

-Bye, madam. - Bye.

And cheer up!

Subtitle translation by: Francesca Perozziello