Original subtitles

Supporting: KIM YOUNG-IL (EAGLE HAN),

WANG YAO-HENG (WANG YAO), MA CHIANG, CHENG FU-HUNG, CHEN HUI-LOU

Featuring: RICKY CHENG, HUANG GEN-WEI, KIM SAE-OK,

CHIANG CHI-PING, HSU HANG (HSU YUAN), KUO NAI-HUA (TING HSIANG),

HO HING-NAM, WANG CHI-SHENG, PENG HSIEN-CHANG (PENG KENG)

- Master, are you alright?! - Fine...

I'm fine...

This time... I'm lucky to be alive.

We must inform Eighth Master Chan immediately.

Tell him to find somewhere to hide.

Master, your leg is really badly injured!

Master, hide here for now. Junior Brother and I will cover you.

- Very well... The two of you take care. - Come on!

Focus Pullers: LAI KUO-CHEN, HO TENG-SHAN

Lighting: HSU MU-WANG, LIN TIEN-YUNG

Production Assistant: LI CHING-FU

Costumes: LI YAN-HUNG

Props: HU LIEN-PI

Grip: HOU YEN-TE

Stills: CHIU HSIAO-HSING

Makeup: CHANG SU-CHU

Stylist: CHEN YA-LAN

- Senior Brother, take care! - Junior Brother, we'll split up.

After them!

There's nowhere to run!

Jen Tien-Hua, you Manchurian lapdog.

You slaughter followers of every school, as well as anti-Qing patriots!

- You're immoral and shameless! - What gall!

Kam Ma-Lee, as long as you reveal

the hiding place of your patriarch, Ching Pang-Fei,

then I, Jen Tien-Hua, shall let you leave here with your life.

Become my follower from this point forth, and I guarantee you the benefits.

In your dreams!

I am a disciple of Xing Yi: Form Intention.

The Xing Yi School was founded by Yue Fei, the hero of Great Song!

I will not be a traitor to my people. I will not join you to spread your filth!

Jen Tien-Hua...

You think because the evil sect you created, Reaping Finger, Sickle Hand,

has the martial arts world in its grasp, that I'll be afraid of you?

Even if it means I'll die today, I'll still fight you!

I am giving you the opportunity now to think things through carefully.

I think... I want your life!

Music: FRANKIE CHAN

Production Design: CHOU CHI-LIANG

Editing: VINCENT LEUNG

Assistant Director: HSU HSUEH-LIANG

Assistant Action: PENG HSIEN-CHANG (PENG KENG), WANG YAO-HENG (WANG YAO)

Dubbing: WANG PING

Sound Effects: CHOU CHIN

This time next year will be the anniversary of your death!

Executive Director: LIU KONG (CHIU LO-KONG)

Tell me...

Where is Ching Pang-Fei hiding?!

Tell me!

We only just moved here...

And you're stirring up trouble all over the place!

What am I always telling you?

"Study the Four Books and Five Classics. Be educated and refined."

What else?

"Train hard in martial arts. Never use it to bully others."

- Have you practiced martial arts today? - I was just about to!

Grandpa, how about I practice the horse stance?

Do as you like.

Jump... Jump, jump. Jump...!

Jump again...!

One. Two. Three.

Jump, jump, squat!

Squat, squat, jump.

Twisting and turning... Twist-- Buttocks together!

Finished, Grandpa!

Grandpa is getting on in his age.

These old eyes are already blurry.

You were so quick on your feet, how could I see it clearly?

Do it again for me, but slowly this time.

Slower...!

- What is this stance called? - Four Levels Horse!

Your 'four levels' are level enough, but you're not steady on eight.

Get up!

Front Bow, Rear Arrow!

While others have a Front Bow, Rear Arrow...

yours is a Loose Bow, Slippery Arrow! Again.

Twisted Silk Horse!

- Also known as? - Qilin Steps!

A twist to the left! A twist to the right!

- Tightly clenched? - Tightly clenched!

- Move, then. - I...

- can't move... - Why's that?

I...

It's cause I've clenched it too tight...!

- Is it really that tight? - Yeah...

There is one stance, but I don't know if you can clench tight enough.

Oh...! I know!

Number Two Clamps the Sheep Horse! This will do, yeah?!

Not this stance...

What is this new horse stance, Grandpa?

Substitute with Hands Horse.

- No, don't, Grandpa...! - Head down!

- Now then... You're not allowed to move. - G-Grandpa...!

TO THE DELIGHT OF EVERYONE

Grandpa, don't...!

Clench this bowl tightly now.

It's my personal bowl.

Breaking it means breaking what I eat with.

Understood?

- Understood... - Clench it tightly!

Break it and you'll be in strife.

Grandpa...? Grandpa...?! How long do I have to clench it for...?!

Wait till Grandpa gets back from his squat.

You're going to take a dump?! Take a shorter squat, then...!

- Old man, this doll's really cute! - This one, huh?

- I want this one. - Oh, this one?

I want one too!

- I want this doll! - This one?

- Which one? - This one...!

This one's not for sale. Here, a present for you!

- I want this Guan Yu...! Hurry up! - Go play with it.

Guan Yu, you've dropped your bowl!

Oi! Wait for me...! Hey!

This is for you...

Place your bets...!

Look. Let's see who's faster, your eyes or my hands! C'mon! Bet, bet...!

- Hey, buddy...! - Alright... eyes here...!

I'll bet it all!

Keep betting...?!

- Hey, buddy...? - Bet!

Let's bet.

- Bet on the middle. - C'mon! Bet, bet...!

I'll win it today!

- Middle's a shoo-in. - Bet...!

- Stop...! - Bets are in.

Opening...!

Hey.

- How'd that happen...? - High rollers lose, low rollers win!

Yours!

That's that...!

C'mon... Bet again...! C'mon.

- I'm in! - There!

I'm gonna double it!

Brother, wanna cut down a big tree with a small knife, eh...?

Just some loose change, it's nothing.

- He's cutting an early harvest... - I'm leaving after this round.

- Hands off. Opening! - C'mon.

They're opening...

Low rollers lose, high rollers win...!

My luck's blacker than an ink line...

I lose every time I bet!

I have to win it this time!

- Hey, buddy, I'll bet for you. - Oi...! Get lost...

- I'm betting on this one! - Geez, you don't believe me?

I'll bet for you-- it's a sure win! Here...

Bet on this one. Open it up yourself if you don't believe me. Just you watch.

Now... It's gotta be in this one. Ain't that right...?

Just open it...

Opening...!

Winner...

Low rollers lose, high rollers win...!

- You're-- - Really something, right?

You would've lost this, but I won it back for you.

This is mine.

- I'm off, then. - Hey, hey...?

- You-- - Don't gamble so much.

Nine times outta ten, they're cheating you...!

C'mon, place your bets, place your bets! Bet again! Bet again!

C'mon...!

YUET-LOI TEAHOUSE

You're huge, how could he miss you?!

Hold it!

Kid... You bought wine and meat-- what's this? New Year's?

What do you guys want...?

A wise man doesn't block another's livelihood!

- I already gave you enough face. - "Gave us enough face"...?!

You should've done your homework: I, Big Bear, am not easily bullied!

- I'm Stony Egg. - I'm Iron Head.

And we're not that stupid!

Who's got the time for you flunkeys?

- What's that...? He's makin' fun of us! - Stop right there!

If you don't cough up that money today,

you're gonna have one helluva a time!

Based on what...?

Based on my fist.

- Get 'im! - Get 'im!

Hold this!

Give it back!

Smell this!

Hold this!

Clench this!

Up high!

- Good job! - Scared-scared...

Oh, oh... I'm so scared-scared...

- He swung me up so high... - Don't be scared...

Don't be scared! Watch this!

"Watch this", huh?!

I'm watching you...

Scared-scared...

What's so funny?!

W-wow...! The earth quakes and the mountains shake!

I'll... butt you left! Butt you right! Butt you in the middle...!

I'll... butt you in front!

Butt you in back!

"Butt", huh? "Butt", huh? You gonna keep Butting?

Let's see how you'll butt now!

You'll butt out now, yeah?

- Awesome...! - Go clobber him...!

- What's your name again? - I'm called Stony Egg...

You're called 'Stony Egg', right?

Steamed eggs when you hit the ground. A meaty egg when I step on you!

When I kick you, you're a boiled egg!

And when you shake it like that, put your face on,

I'm getting you all egg tarted up.

You're called Iron Head, right?

You got the back of my head. But I've still got a forehead...!

I'm getting ahead!

I'm shaking my head...!

Heads down!

Heads-up! Knock your head off.

Head turn...!

I'm heading off...

Go clear your head!

Squish him to death...!

You look big and tough, but you're actually a pushover!

He's only called 'Big Bear' cos nobody can bear 'im...

You three sons of bitches... Hrm...? Where's the third one?!

Over here...

- You've squashed me to death...! - Oh... So you've dug your own grave...!

- Do I still need to cough up the money? - No...

- I can leave, then?! - Do whatever you want...!

- No more moaning and groaning from now on! - Alright...

What do we do now?

- Get him outta there...! - Get me outta here now...!

- Get up...! - Let's go...!

- Mmm... Good wine. - It's good, yeah?

- Did you go to a different shop? - No...! Same shop, just different wine.

This is top-grade local product.

There's more than four taels too...

Right, it's a whole catty!

You're really good to your elders.

How do you have so much money for wine?

I was so lucky today! Soon as I went out, I stepped on a big silver cash coin.

That's why I had the money. Pretty lucky, huh?

- You were that lucky? - Yeah...

Go out and step on another silver cash coin, then.

Are you going to tell me...?

What does that mean?

One turned into two. Two turned into four.

Then four turned into eight.

Oh... So you're learning how to gamble now too!

You won and they just let you go?

Yeah! They wouldn't let me go. How'd you know?

I also know you got into a fight as well.

No, Grandpa! I didn't fight anyone. I just got into a stance is all.

- Then they all ran away. - Really? What was this impressive stance?

Xing Yi School's Parting Mountains Stance, of course!

Shameful!

Grandpa, keep drinking. I'm going to train.

No need!

I don't need to train today?

No. I'm going to train with you!

Come on!

But, Grandpa--

There are no father and sons in battle!

But I'm your grandson though.

You little brat. Playing dirty?

An inch shorter, but an inch more dangerous.

I... I want the short one, then.

Here!

Where are you off to?!

We haven't started and you're already leaving?!

It doesn't reach, right...?

An inch longer is an inch stronger.

You've said it all, then.

It doesn't matter if it's long or short-- I want them both!

Please don't...

That's a pretty smart move from you.

I do get smacked a lot...

Oversee Pole! Kill Pole! Level Centre Pole!

Wasps Enters the Cavern! Midnight and Midday Pole!

The Grand Duke Fishes! Phoenix Spreads its Wings!

- Back over here. - Grandpa, I'm not done yet.

Han Xiangzi Plays the Flute! Propped Up Pole!

- White Tiger Shows its Tail! - White Tiger Reveals its Tail!

The Beauty Comes and Goes! A Halted Advance is a Retreat--

Come back here! Where do you think you're going? Tiger Tail Pole!

Tiger Tail Pole. Three Rings Tied to the Moon!

One ring! Two rings! Three rings!

- Iron Fan Shuts the Door! - Iron Bull Ploughs the Field!

This is what we call Push the Boat with the Current.

Now then, here I come. Wind Brushes the Plum Blossoms!

Don't jab me, Grandpa! Iron Fan Closes the Door--

- I've poked a hole in your door! - Black Dragon Swings its Tail!

I offer flowers to the left... Offer flowers to the right!

- Gotcha! - No, don't, Grandpa--

That's for the flowers!

Now I'm seeing flowers...

Point to Heaven, Poke the Earth!

- Mountains Thrust Down! - Flip-flopping Carp!

Big net! Small net!

Old Fisherman Casts his Net!

Snowflakes Cover Above! Coiling Roots of the Old Tree!

Old Cow Turns the Millstone.

Dragonfly Clips the Water. Clip! Clip...!

Sending Birds to the Forest! Little Brother Flees the Scene...!

- Come out. - No, Grandpa!

- Swallow Returns to its Nest... - You're not coming out, then?

Very well. Blind Man Pokes his Way!

- No, don't! - You coming out? Coming out? Come out...!

If I really have to...

Gourd Rolls on the Ground!

One turned into two!

Two turned into four, right?!

I scoop--

Let's stop sparring--

- Let's see if you'll keep turning! - A lot of bumps have turned up...

Still talking back?!

Advance forth, carry the pole, turn around.

- Don't say this didn't count. - One-strike, two-strike, turn-strike...

- Where are you going this time? - One-strike, two-strike...

Turn around and give me ten forms!

Cradle the Moon in Bosom!

Advancing Oriole Palm!

Shoulder Pole Three-step on Valiant Horse!

Get on the 'Valiant Horse', then.

I'll just do it on foot...!

On foot?

Let Grandpa come give you a hand.

Lion Shakes its Head!

Finished-- forms concluded!

I already said "forms concluded"!

- Who said you could conclude the forms?! - No more sparring, Grandpa.

I'll die if we keep going...

How will you make it stick if we don't spar...?!

How many times have I told you?!

I've told you not to go stirring up trouble.

We don't want people to know that we're practitioners of Xing Yi Fist.

- Knowing Xing Yi Fist isn't a crime-- - You're only allowed to know it!

You're not allowed to reveal it.

If I find out this happens again... I'll snap even the tendons in your legs!

That means I'll get a thrashing, then...!

That's why...

You should go out and find an honest, decent job.

It's time you grew up...

Silly boy...

Give it a go, then.

Come 'ere.

- Sir, you're buying-- - What're you smilin' about?!

Sir...

You're buying...?

Why're you so sad-- you the one with someone's who's died?

Or is it me with someone who's died?!

You don't get it no matter 'ow I teach you.

Lemme show you 'ow it's done!

Come 'ere, then.

Sir...

The dead... can't come back to life. Yeah?

If you let me 'andle your funeral, I'll personally take care o' it myself.

I guarantee it'll be a dignified and exuberant affair...!

Remember: we 'ave Chinese, Western,

full course, daily special, fast food, and buffet options.

If you see someone smartly dressed like myself come in,

then recommend them the good stuff.

If it's someone like you, shabby and scruffy,

then show 'em over 'ere.

Now, now... Over 'ere, we 'ave the kind that your kind sleep in.

Geez...! They're full of holes and full of cracks!

- How can you sleep in that...?! - What do you mean?!

These things 'ave 'ad at least three different people sleep in 'em already.

- At least three?! - These are seh, kahn, 'an!

What's sehkahn'an?

Sehkahn'an means they're used goods. Do you understand?

Who buys this?

"Who buys this"?! I'm a unique specialty retailer!

Who else can they buy from?! There's a market for this.

- Can it be any more pitiful...? - Hey, now... No pity, just lump sums!

And no payin' in installments.

You also 'ave to memorize the different kinds o' wood.

Now, this one's nanmu.

Redwood. Willow. And that's ash.

When you're wit' a customer, knock on it for 'em to 'ear.

Knock!

Boss? Why does it like sound like plywood?

The customers don't know that. You really are as thick as a plank!

Come 'ere!

This thing 'ere...

Beautiful... So beautiful...!

It's not for sale...

- You saving it for yourself? - That's right...

Watch your mouth!

'owever, for the right price, I would reluctantly let it go.

This thing 'ere... I 'ave to polish it every day.

Remember: when makin' a sale, you 'ave to tell them about the features.

What features?

This thing 'ere's got plenty o' features.

Warm in winter and cool in summer.

Lie inside this, close the lid, and nothin' can get inside--

- Completely waterproof! - Won't it be really stuffy, then?

When you put in ventilation it won't be stuffy.

Now then, lyin' inside this is real comfortable!

Here, I'll demonstrate for you. It's unreal!

This thing 'ere's really so comfy...

Nice and cold, cool and crisp!

So fresh-- So comfy!

'ere, listen to the sound o' that wood...

A nice solid ring!

It sounds just like somebody callin' to you...

- This is some pretty cracking wood. - Oi, you scared me to death, you devil!

Come in and try it. It's unreal...!

- Isn't it a bit crowded...? - Not at all...!

This thing 'ere can fit three wit' room to spare. C'mon, give it a go.

Bloody 'ell... Let me outta 'ere...!

It's airtight and nothin' can get in, aye?!

I 'aven't put the ventilation in yet. You tryin' to suffocate me to death?!

I told you to just try it, but you've gone and actually buried it!

When you get me out, I'm gonna beat you, little bastard!

I'm not strong enough-- Hey!

I told you I wasn't strong enough...

- Hey! Anything?! - Hey, hey...

I couldn't find 'im...

- Hey?! You see 'im?! - Nah...

What the hell is this...?!

This place is tiny so why can't we find 'im?!

Listen up, you three sons of bitches! I don't want any trouble!

If you keep following me, watch out, or I'll tear out your bones!

- Big Brother. - Bloody hell!

Who are you calling 'Big Brother'?!

Us three brothers absolutely idolize you. We wanna be your followers.

- Yeah... - Be my followers?

I'm a mud Buddha crossing a river-- I can't even take care of myself!

They wouldn't even want me for picking up cow dung in the country!

It's not that no one wants you. It's just your time has not yet come...!

- And right now your time has come...! - Right...!

We've got a way to hit it big and wanna let you in on the action.

- Are you for real? - Yeah...!

If there's a fortune to be made, you three go make it yourself!

- But we can't make it without you! - You lot'll just bring me bad luck!

You wanna sucker me into being a scapegoat?!

We've experienced your Kung Fu first-hand-- as if we'd still mess with you...!

If we're really trying to cheat you,

then don't call me Stony Egg-- call me Rotten Egg.

Yeah...! And you can beat my Iron Head until it's a head of taro too!

Hey, since you've got nothin' on, come with us and meet our boss.

Yeah.

Alright, then...

Let's see what tricks you've got up your sleeve.

"Tricks up my sleeve"?

Why would I dare play any tricks on you...?

Well, then... So what are your thoughts on the terms Si Fu has set out for you?

"Sifu"? You have a master?

No, no... I don't have a master!

Oh...! My surname is 'Si', first name 'Fu'.

When you say 'Si Fu', 'Si Fu', it sounds just like sifu as in 'master'.

That makes it more impressive, right?

So it turns out you're a li'l sampan.

Hmm...? "Li'l sampan"? Hey, wha-what's that mean?

- A li'l sampan posing as a gunboat. - "Posing as a gunboat"...?

What's so funny?!

This is a world of stealing, lying, kidnapping, and swindling!

If you can pass yourself off as something else, do it!

How's this sound, then? Come and be the instructor at my training hall.

Every month I'll pay you 100 silver dollars.

Whenever students bring gifts, I'll split it with you 50-50.

What's more, when I need you to fight for me, I'll pay you on top.

- You three think that's reasonable? - Of course...!

- One hundred silver dollars? - Yes...!

One hundred silver dollars...

It's not that I don't want the gig...

I'm not scared of anything, but I am scared of my grandpa!

Normally, if I pull a few moves, he'll threaten to tear out my bones!

If he found out I was an instructor at your training hall...

I don't know any real Kung Fu, but I do have brains.

Here's what we'll do.

I'll use my face. You'll use your hands. I swear it'll work.

- How can I use my hands...?! - Alright, listen up.

That's how we'll do it...!

- Will... that actually work...? - It'll work!

It'll work-- Look, it'll work...!

Now, when you're done eating, I'll give you a tour of my training hall.

FIVE SCHOOLS SCHOOL GREAT TRAINING HALL

"Five Schools School"?

What's 'Five Schools School'?

Dragon, Snake, Tiger, Leopard, and Crane.

That means we practice all the schools so have all the different forms.

Too bad you're all style and no substance...!

That's just it... Since we opened, we've only taken on two students.

What's more, they're here for free. You tell me how I can still show my face?

That's why...

Don't be afraid of a bad life; only be afraid of a bad name, right...?

Yes, yes... So can I trouble you to change the name for me? Please?

Change the name? That's a tough one...

XING YI SCHOOL TRAINING HALL

Which school or sect are you with exactly?

Xing Yi School. Translated, it means 'Move Intention School'.

Hmph, such a school exists?

H-how dare you?!

Allow me to explain the meaning of these three words to you.

'Move'. This means you should make the move into my line of work.

'Intention' has the meaning of your intention to pay up.

'School' is referring to your becoming my student.

What if I don't wanna join your school?

That changes it, then!

'Move' means we should move our separate ways!

'Intention' is you have no intention of paying up, meaning zero intention of any further discussion!

'School' is use the backdoor and get the hell outta my school!

Then I'll start by kicking in your backdoor!

Not so fast. Let me go in and change first.

Have some tea and wait for me if you have the gall.

Come, see to him.

Master?

Master?

What is it...?

We have a customer.

- What kind of customer...? - Come on, get up and take a look.

Come on, get up.

This guy...

Yi Hung Court is under his protection. Apparently, his--

Sorry.

Apparently, his training hall has 40, 50 students.

All we need to do is take him down, and all of his business will be ours.

Here, just do the maths:

every student is charged 15 silver dollars.

One student gets charged 15.

- Ten students makes 150! - Yeah, exactly...!

- 15 students makes 225. - 20 students?

- 300. - What about 30, then?

C'mon, that's enough chit-chat. Hurry on out there and finish the job.

It's not about finishing the job. Just look at him!

The face of a demon. That boorish mustache!

Not to mention his fist is bigger than a clay pot.

How could I finish him off? Leave me outta this...

Hey, hey... We had an agreement though: "I'll use my face. You'll use your hands"!

Right... I did say I'll use my hands.

But my hands... My hands...! My hands...

- Fine! Uh... 50, then! - Ow...! My hand hurts...

- 60? - My thigh hurts...

- 70, then? - My back hurts...

- 80? - My head hurts...

- 90?! - My shoe hurts...!

Huh...? Even your shoe hurts...?

A hundred, then!

Well, that changes everything.

Head on out first.

- You better not be fooling me. - I'm not.

The hell with this...!

What's taking your master so long?!

What's going on? Eh?!

You said you went to go change.

I had a think about that...

I am the master of a martial arts school after all.

If I took you on myself, I'd be accused of the strong bullying the weak.

I'm warning you!

If you keep mocking me, I'll tear down your sign!

Young and immature lad... not even aware that the sky is high and the earth is deep!

You really want a fight? Very well, then!

I shall call upon the one who shovels our school's excrement...

to come out and play with you.

Come out!

Now then, help me--

- Bah...! What are you doing out here?! - Master...?

You! What are you--

You... Go teach him a lesson for me...!

- He's the one? - That's right.

He's the one.

Once you've tried him, you'll understand.

- Go. - Aye...!

You the one who wants to tear down our sign?

- So what if I am?! - Calm that fire of yours.

Have a cuppa tea first.

C'mon...

Over here...!

Whatcha lookin' at?! Somethin' good down there?!

Watch this!

It hurts...! It hurts a lot, a lot...!

Someone's hurtin' a lot!

Aren't seesaws so much fun?!

Take that...!

Go to hell...!

Peepin', huh?!

Plank kick!

Master, I'm done teachin' 'im a lesson!

- Back inside and shovel that shit. - Aye...!

So do you submit yet?

Do you submit?! I submit...

Now then, I'll be collecting the brothel's protection money.

Yes...

I'll be taking over your training hall.

Yes...

You'll go to the backdoor and scram? Yes...

You all heard him.

Scram.

Hey, what are you all still standing around for?

- Get him out of here now! - O-of course...

C'mon... Get yourself together... Let's get outta here...

- Hurry up and piss off...! - Right...!

Stop right there!

Step aside...! You're in the way...

Were you the one who defeated Lo Ying just now?

Yeah! That's right!

You're that good?

While others use a single Yang Finger, I use a double Ying Yang Finger.

- With a single poke, he was down. - I see...

I, Willow Leaf Sabre Chak Chung,

wish to experience this Ying Yang Finger of yours first-hand.

You haven't paid any school fees and want to learn my Ying Yang Finger?!

- You have a think about that! - Yeah...!

Siu Tak!

Siu Tak?! Siu Sam?! Siu Sam...?!

Siu Sam? Siu Sam-- Dammit...!

How come you don't respond when I'm calling you...?!

- It's cos my name's not Siu Sam...! - I was just saying any old name...!

Hey, hey, what do you make of this one?

- He's so scrawny-- it'll be easy...! - Oh... Well--

In that case, how about a discount?

- How's 20% off sound? - Deal!

You'll figh--

- Your name, if I may? - I am Willow Leaf Sabre Chak Chung!

What's that?! "Chicken"?!

Damn...!

Uh... Uh... Boss?! Oh, no... Oh, no--

Not good! Not good, Boss!

He's got a knife!

- Boss, he's got a knife! I can't do it! - I'll add 10%, then!

Ten percent?! You can do it yourself, then!

- Well, Boss...?! - Twenty percent!

Twenty percent?! I won't do it for 20%!

He's gonna get you too!

Watch your back!

- Get down! - Hey!

Forty percent.

- It's still 40%?! - Yes...!

- It's here! Better go higher! - Forty percent's the highest...

Still 40%, huh? How many percent?!

- I... I'll double it! Double it! - "Double it", huh...?

Take it easy, li'l sampan.

S-scared me to death...

This time, I'm not holding back!

Push the Boat with the Current!

Black Dragon Swings its Tail!

One Pole Stabilizes Zhongyuan!

Heads down...! Heads up...!

Head up...!

It's over here...!

Not yet...!

Clench it tightly...!

Are you scared or something?

You've got your blade the wrong way.

Does it stink?!

Uncle's lookin' out for you, y'know? You just won't rest till I've given you a damn good canin'!

I'll chop you like beef!

One, chop! Two, chop!

Chop under the head! Chop along the waist!

Chop along the body!

I scoop...!

I scooped you up like dog shit!

One, block! Two, block!

Three, chop your wood--

You shouldn't make jokes like that.

Midnight and Midday Pole! Long and Short Pole!

Receiving Pole! Loose Pole!

Dog Beating Pole! Beat! Beat!

Why won't you beat it?!

Perfect for my Shit-Stirrer's Pole!

Stir! Stir!

And I thrust...!

Now it's unclogged...!

- Oh, no... - Catch...!

Don't go pulling your li'l knife out anymore.

It's a sure-fire way to become a ghost.

If you wanna take up the pole, then bow to me as Taishang Laojun.

- Still not bowing out...?! - Aye...!

- Who is it...?! - Oh! It's me, Grandpa!

Grandpa...

Grandpa?

Are you feeling better yet?

- The same as always... - You have to rest more if you're unwell.

Oh, I'll get you a cup of tea, Grandpa.

What kind of work do you do nowadays?

Uh... You know, walking here, standing there, moving this and that.

Listen to your grandpa: hang in there no matter what.

Life is about keeping your feet on solid ground.

Grandpa, have some tea first.

- Is work hard? - Nah...! I just hit--

Hit up all the unskilled labour jobs, y'know?

I picked up your prescription. I'll go brew your medicine now.

Why are you fighting over it? One at a time.

- Master...! - I want in!

- What is it?! - We've got a customer outside. A big one!

- We've got a customer? - Yes...!

Let me check it out first.

So?

- Damn... Why's he so big? - Think of him like a big winter melon!

This bloke... I know 'im!

Man... He's not even as big as me!

I'll toss 'im out like a winter melon...!

You think everyone's as retarded as you?

You wanna toss him out, do it yourself! I can't do it...

- Stand aside, then! - Now, now... Master? You'll manage...!

I'll manage?

- For sure...! - You're saying I'll manage?!

- You're managing pretty well now...! - What?

Gold on the top. Gold in the middle. Gold on the bottom.

- You've even got gold fillings! - What? N-no, I don't... See?

If not now, soon...!

You're so fancy now...!

Struttin' here, posin' there, eatin' only finest fare!

Dressin' with such flare,

while we've got nothing but a prayer!

If I keep this up, even if I don't die, I'll be heartbroken...!

Master? If you don't show him who's boss, how will you get paid this month? Huh...?

That's your problem...

I'll pay you 500!

- Speakest thou sooth?! - I-I do.

- Verily?! - Uh... No.

- Uh... Verily! - Verily.

Thou movest not, I come!

Hey, did you say you know him?

- He's a notorious sex pest! - He is?

Take care of him for me.

Arise...!

T-thank you, Mast-- Huh?!

- Where'd he go? - Hey... Go out and cover 'im.

- I'll be right behind you! - You little--

Founding Father said so!

Good job...! Good job...!

Good... job...!

But... compared to the one who shovels our school's excrement,

you're not even a fart.

Tell him to get his arse out here now!

There's no need to rush...

Even though you just want a fight, you've still got to be patient.

I'm busy!

Allow me to teach you a move for free, then.

Those who practice martial arts fear a restless mind and a fiery temper.

If you can't calm that temper of yours... Heh, you've already lost by half...!

Why, you little...! I'll clobber you!

Take care of him...!

Y-you...

The head of the household is not in. This lowly woman replaces him.

He's a great white shark, so watch out. Eats men whole, spits nothing out...!

No doubt.

Wow... I see you look as a jasmine flower.

Gazing upon you, my heart is overpowered...

I can see that you are big and tall. This lowly woman's skin doth crawl...!

- It does not crawl... - It crawls...

It does not crawl...

Good girl, good girl, come be in my thrall...!

I give you a maul...!

Keep your hands and legs to yourself, or I'll hit you!

- Hit me all you want... - I hit you!

Hit you! Hit you!

Oh, my! Oh, my... Your muscles are so hard...!

- Let me kiss that for you. - No way!

- My... What big hands you have! - Oh... Big hands...?

All the better to hug you with...!

Taking advantage again?!

Take advantage of me again, and I'll beat your head in!

I didn't think you'd know Kung Fu!

- I know a little bit... - Alright! Let's have some fun, then!

How rude...!

- How dare you?! - Whoa! What a hairy leg...

The hairier the leg, the sexier!

Whoa... What a big foot...

Having a big foot is like having your own rabbit's foot, you jerk...!

Oh, dear!

Wait!

These blinds, I roll them halfway down...!

I spy brother sleeping on the mud ground...!

- Now, now... You're getting fired up again! - It'd be weird if I didn't!

Pow!

Pew! Pew!

What are you doing?!

Hot. So hot...!

I'll kiss you to death...!

Take that!

Here, I'll do it myself...!

C'mere...! C'mere...!

Here...

There!

- She's a man! - Busybody!

- Wha...?! You're a man?! - So what if I am?

Here, have a salted pear...!

Salted pear...!

- Amazing! Brilliant! - That's a wrap, that's a wrap!

That money's mine! Let go-- what are you trying to do?!

Oh, my lord! My lo--

And that's another wrap.

Tell me! Where is Ching Pang-Fei?!

Regiment Commander, they're a truly cunning bunch.

They changed the 'Xing' in their name meaning 'form' to 'Xing' meaning 'move'.

Why would he have so much money...?

"Grandpa, if I was to befall some unexpected misfortune,

"and pass away before you,

"the money here, if used frugally,

"should last you the rest of your life.

"Your unfilial grandson, Hing Lung."

- Three champions in a row. Three... - You see that move? He's so cool...!

Wow...! Check it out!

The show's just getting started...!

Blink and you'll miss it, friends!

Wolf Head Hammer! Heart-Piercing Leg!

Golden Chicken Stands Alone! Such a good boy!

There's still more to come...!

Snowflakes Cover Above up top!

Coiling Roots of the Old Tree down low! Hold onto your main root.

- I was talking about your neck root! - Wow... Awesome!

- Beaten till he's twitchin' in his roots! - That's right!

He's twitching down to his roots, I collect all of the loot!

There's still more good stuff comin'...!

How was that? Hmm?!

Ha... You damn brat.

You're losing on purpose so I'll up your pay again, right?

I already said I'm not raising your pay anymore!

This time, I just want nothing...!

- Master, you can't leave-- - You wanna leave?!

Wait a second. I admit defeat. Ask him for the money.

- Screw you! - Hey... You can't leave!

- That bastard told you to pay me. - Oh, I'm dead--

- Damn kid, who's a 'bastard' now?! - You--

Well... Guess I live another day!

Wait... Don't go just yet. Old man, you're really something!

Why don't you become our instructor...?

Instructor, my arse!

Whoa...! That old coot knows Kung Fu!

- What's it to you?! - Are you alright?

- What is it? - Why are you covered in hair?

I'm not the one with hair. It's your glasses that's got hair...!

Oh...! Hey, that guy just now.

Was he here to sign up or just visiting? He walked right in!

- Let's find 'im...! - Right!

Stop right there!

Who are you looking for?

I'm looking for my grandson!

"Grandson"? There's no grandsons here-- everyone here's a forefather!

- Who are you...? - Huh? You're asking me?

I am the chairman of Xing Yi School!

XING YI SCHOOL TRAINING HALL

That little brat... He even changed the name?!

The name change is why we're a success! Where is Master anyway?

- Founding Father...? - Where's he gone?

- Founding Fa-- - Founding Father...?!

He won't come out.

I'll go home and wait for him there!

W-wait... And just who are you...?!

I am your founding father's ancestral forefather!

Elder Ching...?

They're in Ha Wai Village!

I'm doomed...

Now Grandpa's found out... He's gonna beat me to death for sure...

Brother, do you know where Ching Pang-Fei lives?

That little brat...

Hmm? "Ching Pang-Fei"...? That's my grandpa.

Ching Pang-Fei, you will not get away this time!

I'm not going anywhere!

You're not going anywhere...?

You're just scared you won't get away, no?

Living here all on your own... It's a bit lonely, isn't it...?

"Lonely"?

I've had you following me for all these years. How could I possibly be lonely?

Ching Pang-Fei, you're closer to the end than I am.

Go dig yourself a hole to bury your old bones in!

Have you been neglecting your training lately?

On your feet!

Old boy, there's not much strength left in your punches!

Since you're already unwell, I'll drag you to hell!

You...

Hing... Hing...!

Regiment Commander, take a look!

An eight-legged qilin...?

So they have been in contact.

Grandpa...!

Grandpa...!

Grandpa!

Grandpa...!

Grandpa!

You! It's all because you got in my way!

Otherwise Grandpa wouldn't have died...

If it wasn't for me, you'd have died long ago!

My death is my own problem!

- Get away from me! - Don't be rash!

Don't do anything rash!

If it wasn't for you stirring up trouble, your grandfather wouldn't be dead!

Grandpa...!

Grandpa...!

If it wasn't for you leaving a trail, Jen Tien-Hua wouldn't have found your grandfather!

"Jen Tien-Hua"...?

Just who the hell is he?!

Why did he have to kill Grandpa...?

It's because we, the Xing Yi School, are an offense in the eyes of the Qing Court.

So you also belong to the Xing Yi School, then?

That's right.

I am the friend that your grandfather had been looking for.

So you're Eight-Legged Qilin!

You don't deserve to call yourself my grandpa's friend!

You watched as Grandpa was killed and did nothing to help!

"Help"? What could we have done to help?!

Even if we combined our might, we're still no match for him!

Where are you going?

To find that white-haired scoundrel, and pit my life against his!

"Pit", eh?!

You're not even a match for this cripple.

How will you pit your life against his?!

Run away, then. Run far away!

You can bear to have your grandfather's body dragged away by wolves, then?!

Grandpa...?!

Grandpa...!

You're afraid by staying alive that you won't have a chance for vengeance?

I will have my revenge...!

Even with a thirst for vengeance, you still need to eat. Why won't you eat?

Eat!

Now, now... Don't just eat plain rice. Have some of the dishes!

Here, eat up...!

Hing Lung, take a short break at least.

Master... I'm not tired...!

I can still keep going...!

Master...?!

Oh, my... Master isn't up to muster...

Come on! Keep on pulling.

Put your back into it...!

Pull, pull...!

You can't move it?

Of course, I can't move it... You're standing on top...

I've gotten down already...!

Well, that changes things, then.

It hurts a lot, doesn't it?

Of course, it hurts-- You got me right here...

It hurts because... you don't know how to go eet.

"Eet"?

- How do you go eet...? - Go eet...!

Oh... I get it!

Eet!

Eet! It works!

Eet!

- You can stop eeting now...! - Why don't I have to eet?

That's enough training. Let's go home.

- Here. Eet! - Huh? What's this?

We can pull one home each.

Eet! Eet!

Eet...!

Don't you usually love to eet? Why have you scrunched up your face?

It's cos I've eaten too much today...!

Very well! Get up...!

- Out of breath, eh? - Yeah...

Regulate your breathing, then!

Spit!

Suck!

Close your mouth!

Swallow it!

What's all this? Your belly's bloated?

Eet...!

A bit late with that, weren't you...?

- 'Eet'? - Eet...!

This time you were way too early!

Out of breath, eh? Practice your breathing, then!

Master? Master...?!

Master is over here...!

The house has been turned inside out,

and yet you still slept like a pig.

Who was here?

If there had been an intruder, the lid to your coffin would be nailed shut now!

From now on, I'll sleep with one eye open and one eye shut!

Oh...? Like this?

Oh... Silly boy!

Sure, martial arts requires dedication, but it must be dedication within reason!

Otherwise, you lose control of yourself like a man possessed.

This is why you're in such a state-- why your voice has gone all hoarse.

Now then, we're going to do a different kind of training today.

What kind of training?

I need to test your agility and improvisation Kung Fu.

I want to see...

if you're able to go out through this door or not.

Go out, then.

Back over here...!

Foot down. Step down. Sit down.

Here I come again!

- Falling...! - Hands off!

Back again?!

- Comfy, eh? - I'm all relaxed...!

Geez...!

- I'll take good care of you! - I'm afraid your hand will slip.

Footwork! Right!

- Waist strength! - Enough...!

I'm dizzy--

- I'm gonna faint...! - No... Come back...!

Playing tricks?

I'm leaving!

My hand...!

There's also your feet!

Move your feet! Switch your feet! Put your feet down!

Oh, no...!

This is called cutting the ground from under your feet!

Couldn't go through the front, so now you're stuck on your behind!

Mind your head!

There's still a window over there.

Oh, yeah!

Zero promise!

C'mon.

Squash!

Master, catch...!

Master... My improvisation Kung Fu isn't half bad, yeah?

Not bad. Not bad.

Catch!

- Bear with it...! - Master...! I can't...!

Grip this...!

I'm still a cut above you...!

Wait...!

I'm off to get the wine. You go and buy some Lou Mei.

I'll meet you by the entrance.

- I want that one! - Wait a moment.

- This one? Alright. - I want that one!

Oh... This one is really nice!

- This one. Hurry up! - You want this one?

- This one, right? - Oh, this one.

- I want one too! - Yes, yes...

- We want that one and that one... - Sure...

- This is yours. - This one!

- Thank you... - These are really pretty.

- Alright, we have to go now. - Hmm...? Oi!

You don't have to pay me so much...!

Don't move!

Who are you?!

Why are you attacking me?

Kid, have you mistaken me for someone else?!

- He's a mute. - And he's also mad!

Regiment Commander, let's just leave.

What gall! Kowtow!

Damn kid, what's gotten you so riled up? Attacking me like this.

If you're just out picking fights, you picked the wrong opponent.

What ill fortune that you encountered me. Die!

Consider yourself blessed that throw didn't kill you.

Enough...!

Damn kid...

I think you're sick of Cantonese rice and want the rice they eat in Hell.

Let me grant you your wish, then!

Bite me, will you?!

You little brat, so this is where you've gotten to!

I'm very sorry. He's deaf, he's mute, and he's mad. Bad boy!

The minute I take my eyes off you, you come out here and cause trouble...

Apologies, my lord. He'll be fine now.

If you are his grandfather, then keep a watchful eye on this one.

Don't let him act like rabid dog, snarling and barking!

I'm sorry. You no-good brat, we're going home!

Eight-Legged Qilin...?

Hmm...?

- He's disappeared! - I don't see him.

It's not like he can fly.

Lucky I was quick on my feet earlier.

You're the kind of person that's as stubborn as a dead ox.

I've told you so many times, but you never change!

How can you be entrusted with important matters?

I'm useless.

I'm so useless.

You're a bit late with that realization.

Consider yourself lucky that you got away with just a good walloping.

"Lucky"?

Luckily, you didn't use any Xing Yi Fist whilst you were blinded by rage either.

Since he didn't know your true identity,

he only gave you minor injuries even though his attacks did land.

Otherwise, your life and mine would be in a precarious state right now...

Your Xing Yi Fist training is almost complete.

I shall now begin to teach you Happiness, Anger, Sorrow, Joy.

If you master this set of forms,

you will have a 50% chance of defeating Jen Tien-Hua.

A 50% chance...?

How much did you think it would be?

What's more, we'll have to see if you have the actual perseverance required.

But I think this set of forms is quite suited to you.

With your mischief that is as merry.

Your indignation that is as despair.

Also happiness. Also anger. Also sorrow. Also joy.

Use the techniques I will teach you to wreak havoc on his emotions,

disrupting his reasoning and judgment.

This way, you will have a much easier time of defeating him.

Now then, the forms I am about to teach you

were adapted from the Iron Wire Fist.

Qi Buckled with Energy,

Chaotic Horse Stance Posture,

and Swallowed Belly Voice Projection

will stimulate your internal energy

to manifest happiness, anger, sorrow, joy--

four kinds of expressions.

Happiness: entanglement.

Powerful as a swimming dragon. Confuses the heart of the enemy.

Anger: offensive.

10,000 horses galloping forth. Difficult to block by the enemy.

Sorrow: tenacity.

Undying pursuit of an unrequited love. Consumes the strength of the enemy.

Joy: provocation.

The phantom cat catches the rat. Mourns the gall of the enemy.

Master?!

Master?!

Master...?!

Eight-Legged Qilin, let's see how many legs you have left!

Stop...!

Why are you three tough guys picking on a cripple?!

Kid, aren't you a mute?!

Uncle just lost his voice that day! It's not like you've got a big mouth!

- You little-- - Big Brother!

We don't need someone like you to defeat him.

I'll beat you till you've got nothing to say!

"Beat"? "Beat"... huh?!

Keep running your mouth and I'll even break your teeth!

You think you got swagger wearing that dingy pall?!

Whip it out, then!

Draw your weapon!

Prepare to die!

There's nothing to see even when you've whipped it out.

- Let's see how quick you are now. - Big Brother? You're really something!

But I'm something else!

Go to hell, you!

Fourth Brother...!

Catch!

This is your queue...!

Big Brother?! Catch...!

Keep your eyes on the old man!

Stay back! Come any closer and I'll kill him!

Hing Lung, don't worry about me!

Kid... Hand it over.

Kill him, then! I don't give a damn about him!

Go ahead and kill him, then!

Let this be his glorious sacrifice into martyrdom!

Better than a future being crippled, paralyzed and in a wheelchair! Kill him!

Kill him!

Master, you can relax. I'll look after you.

Look after me?

You're only joking, right...?

Regiment Commander!

This kid, he--

As thick as a rice bucket... You can't finish a simple job.

White-haired scoundrel...!

Playing mad and acting dumb. Just who are you anyway?!

The great patriarch of Xing Yi School: Ching Pang-Fei!

Incarnate...!

- Who is Eight-Legged Qilin to you?! - My arse!

You damned pest...

Today I shall cut and uproot and eradicate your family tree!

Not as easy as pulling grass!

I've even stripped off your skin!

Get up.

I said get up!

Kid... Your steps are flimsy. You're running out of qi.

Don't strain yourself.

Yes.

You're right.

I shouldn't strain myself!

My qi--

I need qi...!

My qi... Where's it gone...?

I need qi. I need qi!

I need qi...

Qi... Qi... Qi...

My qi... qi...!

Qi! Qi!

You're already at death's door and you're laughing?

Crying now?

You can't lean on me forever!

Eet...!

Eet...!

Ehh...?

It's not 'ehh', it's 'eet'...!

Let's see you try and eet now.

Grandpa...!