Original subtitles

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

AGATHA: Before you go,

I would like to remind you

that when we return from Christmas vacation,

you will be facing

a new challenge as well as a new year.

I am referring, of course, to your confirmation.

A first step in a journey through life

for you as young men and women.

Now, as with all my classes,

I will see that you are prepared

to the very best of my ability and I hope, yours.

Now, I wish you all a very merry Christmas

and I hope that you will celebrate

the true meaning of the holiday

by attending Mass with your families.

Now you may leave

in a quiet

and orderly manner.

(CHILDREN HOLLERING)

(BELL TINKLES)

Thanks, Miss McGee.

It's Harold, Miss McGee. Harold Fielding.

I was in your class! Must be 20 years ago.

Oh, yes, Harold.

I remember I caught you smoking in the cloak room.

I see you're still at it. Merry Christmas, Harold.

Yes, Miss McGee.

Hello, Aggie! Preston.

Have you met my youngest grandson, Percy?

We're on our way to have a holiday haircut.

Well, don't let me keep you.

Merry Christmas, Aggie.

Merry Christmas, Preston.

And to you, too, young man.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Here's for the needy.

Hey, merry Christmas!

JAMES: Dear Miss McGee.

Many thanks for the fine likeness of you

in front of the lilac bush.

Here's a look at my mug,

as well as the family business in Dunbridge

which my brother, Matt, runs these days.

It was snapped by the local brewery driver on his rounds

when I was home visiting a few weeks back.

AGATHA: Dear Mr. O'Hannon.

Your letter arrived just in time for Christmas.

I find your mug most pleasing.

I usually spend my holidays alone or with my neighbor, Lillian,

but this year I'm expecting a guest

and she probably...

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Oh, I was wondering what happened to you.

I thought you got stuck in a ditch. Come inside.

Thank you.

On second thought, Francis, it's a long drive back to the farm

and the radio says that every road in Minnesota

will be closed by midnight.

Yes, Miss McGee.

Aren't you going to kiss your daughter goodbye?

Yes, ma'am.

Ah! Now don't worry about a thing.

We're only a block and a half from the hospital.

Merry Christmas, Francis. Merry Christmas...

Yeah, put your hat on! It's freezing!

Yes, ma'am.

(SIGHS) Now, let's get your coat off.

Thank you for taking me in, Miss McGee.

Oh, I'm always willing to take in a former student,

especially in a time of need.

Now, would you like a cup of tea?

No, ma'am.

Oh, now, Janet, there's no need to be ashamed.

You made a mistake with that young soldier, but that's behind you now.

And since you insist on raising this child alone,

you've got years of responsibility ahead of you.

Now, just promise me that you're going to be strong.

I promise.

All right. Get your bag unpacked.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's much too heavy.

Your room's at the top of the stairs.

(ORGAN PLAYING)

(CHOIR SINGING)

AGATHA: Thank God services are still lovely and orthodox

here at St. Isidore's, Mr. O'Hannon.

Although every time I hear of some hotshot new bishop

dumping one of the old devotions

in favor of polka masses and guitars on the altar,

it makes me heartsick.

(MUTTERING)

The only constant we have in our lives is our faith.

Let other things change, not that.

Look, Miss McGee.

All these gifts for the first baby of the New Year.

There's loads and loads of stuff.

AGATHA: Why, there's everything from bassinets to booties.

Even 40 dozen disposable diapers. It's everything I need.

Must be worth over $300!

$457. I figured it out.

Oh, I wish you were as mathematically inclined when you were in my class.

My baby's gonna be the one, Miss McGee.

Well... I just know it.

They're only possessions.

Don't get your hopes up too high.

As my mother always said,

"Babies will be born when babies will be born."

(JANET GRUNTING)

All right.

All right. All right.

Big push.

AGATHA: Janet Raft is one of my hardscrabble girls

from the poor farms north of town.

I've taken them in on more than one occasion when they're in trouble.

DOCTOR: Here it comes.

But Janet's special to me, Mr. O'Hannon.

She's got a mind and a will of her own.

(GRUNTING)

Happy New Year. AGATHA: Happy New Year.

And to you, Daniel. Yeah. Happy New Year.

Are you expecting?

Ah, not me, my wife.

Shouldn't you be with her?

Well, I was gonna videotape it,

but I thought with all that screaming.

What about you, Miss McGee?

Oh, Janet Raft is expecting.

Do you happen to know the family?

Oh, yeah. One of them worked for me once.

Not exactly what you'd call a reliable type.

This one unmarried like all the others?

Is it a boy or a girl?

A boy. Only it's not yours, Mr. Buckingham.

It's Janet Raft's, Miss McGee.

Eight pounds with lots of hair!

I told you he'd be the New Year's baby.

And so he is.

What a beautiful boy!

You must be very proud of him.

LILLIAN: The one week I'm gone and wouldn't you know, there's a baby

born practically right outside my back door!

How was your trip, Lillian?

They don't have the same TV channels in Berrington

that we do in Staggerford.

Yeah, well, of course, that's enough to spoil anyone's vacation.

What's that you're knitting?

A stocking cap.

Must be over five feet long.

Yeah, the rest if it wraps around your neck like a scarf.

See?

Well, that's fine if you're a giraffe.

What?

Well, that's outrageous!

Agatha?

AGATHA: Now, Stephen Raft was born two hours before your son

and we all know it!

JUNIOR: But he's not the official baby.

And what's an official baby?

I mean, that the Chamber of Commerce

has never had a policy of awarding gifts

for an illegitimate birth.

Well, I have never heard anything so deceitful in my life!

Now, will you show me where it says that

the child of an unwed mother is not qualified?

It's an unwritten policy! It's always been understood...

I wanna go home.

Let's just forget about the whole thing.

Janet, these gifts are rightfully yours!

They're only possessions! You said so yourself! It's really not...

Not anymore they're not!

Now they are incriminating evidence.

Incriminating evidence? (BABY CRYING)

Now, unless you want a court case,

I suggest that you and the other merchants

put together a duplicate set of gifts

and you can deliver them out to Mr. Raft's truck. It's parked outside.

That's $500 worth of merchandise!

Still that's nothing compared to what you'll lose

when I decide to take my business elsewhere.

Well, what business is that?

I'm chairman of Women's Sodality.

I am in charge of refurbishing St. Isidore's rectory

and it's up to me to decide where to buy the furniture.

I'll have my clerks bring it out to his car.

As I tell my 12-year-olds,

you save yourself a peck of trouble if you do it right the first time.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Junior Buckingham was weak and sniveling when he was in the sixth grade

and he's weak and sniveling now.

Miss McGee, you've been so kind.

I was wondering if I could ask you one more favor.

Would you mind being Stephen's godmother?

I thought I told you not to ask Miss McGee for anything else!

Hasn't she done enough for you already?

Taking you in like you was one of her own?

As if she were one of her own.

Yes, ma'am.

And I'd be honored. May I?

AGATHA: The temperature has been dropping all day, Mr. O'Hannon.

It'll be zero by tonight.

But I'll be safe and warm, correcting spelling tests.

How paltry compared to bringing a new life into this world.

Sincerely, Agatha McGee.

(MIMICKING HORN BEEPING)

JANET: Stephen, be careful now! Not so fast!

JAMES: My dear Agatha.

Your latest letter arrived and with it, the spring.

You see? Even the seasons await your words and respond

as I do, with a heart eager to be reborn.

So your godson, Stephen, is becoming a holy terror.

Can he be four years old already?

As for your Bishop, I was saddened to hear the news of his passing.

Let's pray the new one isn't the holy terror of another sort.

AGATHA: I've never seen anything so tasteless in my life!

JANET: Well, he looks like a lot more fun than old Bishop Swayles.

But bishops aren't supposed to be fun.

And don't blaspheme.

If this isn't bad enough,

I've seen his face plastered all over the papers,

running in marathons,

playing the trombone in a Dixieland band!

But you said you might like to go to Ireland!

When did I say that?

You said once that you wanted to trace your family tree.

Well, perhaps I would like to go one day,

but I certainly wouldn't follow Bishop Baker around the corner,

let alone across the ocean.

Stephen. Stephen, come on!

Be careful with those. All right?

All right.

Well, if they survived my father's battles in 1902,

they'll survive his.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

That's Randy! Yes!

JANET: Hi. RANDY: Hi.

Hi, Randy!

Oh! Hiya, Stevie!

Oh, my buddy! Oh, my buddy!

Hello, Miss McGee.

Mr. Meers.

Well, you ready? Yeah.

Are you sure you don't mind sitting with Stephen for a couple of hours?

No, I'll enjoy having a little life in my house.

Now, you two go on. Okay.

I want to go with you!

No, not now, honey. You stay here.

We'll be back soon, okay?

Well, how would you like a cookie and a glass of milk?

Yes, Miss McGee.

Aunt Agatha!

AGATHA: Oh, don't worry, Janet.

I've been Miss McGee since the time of Columbus!

JANET: Bye.

AGATHA: Sometimes I wonder, James, have I been true to my nature?

Have I fulfilled my destiny as a woman?

And if so, what have I got to show

for having spent my entire life in one small town,

in one small classroom?

Washing down the same blackboard for the past 43 years.

I have every confidence that you are prepared

for your Confirmation on Sunday.

Our new bishop, Bishop Baker,

will be here to give you the sacrament.

So please be sure to make your parents

bring you to the church at 7:00 sharp!

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Now you may leave in a quiet and orderly manner.

STUDENTS: Yes, Miss McGee.

GIRL: Wait up! Wait up, Cathy!

AGATHA: That's why I've decided to retire.

You're the first person I've told, James,

because I know you'll understand.

Although, I've threatened it before, this time I mean business.

JANET: No job is a bed of roses!

Roses? Oh, it's all weeds.

Archie's always criticizing me... He's your boss!

It's his job to say those things

and it's yours to listen to him.

Now you better get back to work before he fires you.

What's that?

What's it look like?

Oh, Randy.

Come here, you hunk.

(JANET GIGGLING)

AGATHA: I want something more for my remaining years, James.

I don't intend for them to come in one day

and find Miss McGee at her desk,

slumped over a stack of geography tests.

Miss McGee? Look. Randy's asked me to marry him.

Congratulations, Janet.

Now would you mind running this off on the copy machine for me?

Oh, sure.

Miss McGee, why don't you like Randy?

Oh, it's not that I don't like him.

I'm sure he's quite likeable as young men go these days,

but in the brief time that you've known him,

he's been a short order cook at the Burger Skillet.

He's pumped gas at the Jiffy Stop

and now he's selling water softeners.

He's just trying to find himself. That's all.

Yeah? Well, he's had more than enough time to look.

What concerns me more is you.

I'd hate for you to make any hasty decisions

that could hurt your chances for the future.

Ah, Miss McGee. There you are.

May I see you?

What do you mean, he's not going to attend?

From now on, the new bishop will only confirm those students

who come to him and request the sacrament personally.

The man is deranged!

Every class that I have taught at St. Isidore's,

for the past 43 years has been confirmed!

These days, our orthodox tastes are not everyone's cup of tea.

Most of the parish is happy

with the Bishop's modernizations.

Six schools closed in six months

and you call that modernization?

I call it barbaric!

Now, I insist that you talk some sense into him.

Oh! I don't have to remind you, Miss McGee,

a sister does not tell a bishop what to do.

AGATHA: Well, I'm not a sister!

MAN: Easy, easy, easy!

AGATHA: It's a desecration what he's doing, James!

Removing all the saints! Streamlining the sacraments!

Next thing you know, we'll have drive-in confession!

Bless me, Your Excellency, for I have sinned.

Since my last confession two weeks ago,

I have been troubled by anger and despair!

Tell me what is the cause.

A certain person.

A man.

A man?

Is it possible for you to avoid him?

I doubt it.

You see, he's my superior.

Although he calls himself my servant,

I'm required to follow his orders,

unwise as they are.

That is a problem.

May I ask who is he?

You.

I beg your pardon?

You, Your Excellency. You're the cause of my anger.

You're the one who's driven me to despair.

You refuse to confirm my class at St. Isidore's.

Is the mystery guest Miss McGee?

Yes.

As I explained to Sister Judy,

I'll confirm your kids, but only when they come to me and request it.

But your predecessor, the late Bishop Swayles...

I am not my predecessor, Miss McGee.

And my decision stands whether you approve it or not.

Now do you have anything else to confess?

No.

Then I absolve you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Go in peace. But I'm not finished yet.

Now, if my students wish to be confirmed,

where and when may they get in touch with you?

At my house, at any time.

Goodbye, Miss McGee.

One heart.

Two clubs.

Stop, please.

Three spades.

You must have quite a hand, Dick.

(DOOR OPENS)

Sorry to interrupt, Your Excellency,

but there's someone here to see you.

Didn't you tell them that I'm occupied?

Yes, I did. I tried to...

Excuse me, Your Excellency.

No, please, son. That's medieval.

Young man, I told you, you could not come in here! It's all right, Mrs. Curry.

It's all right.

All right, now, son, what's the problem?

Your Excellency, my name is Roger Edgeston and I wish to be confirmed.

What? Now?

You said any time, as long as you're asked.

That's a direct quote.

Well, I'm sorry, Miss McGee.

You've caught me at a bad time, you see.

I'm trying to convince members of the parish council here to

ante up more money for the restoration.

Have the boy call me in the morning and we'll make an appointment.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Miss McGee,

I'd like to get back to my game.

Now, three spades?

Mmm-hmm.

Is there anything else, Miss McGee?

As a matter of fact, Your Excellency,

there is.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

ALL: Good evening, Your Excellency!

All right, Miss McGee.

I'll see that they receive a full and complete proper confirmation.

Uh, Mrs. Curry, my vestments, please.

MRS. CURRY: Yes, Your Excellency.

Sorry, boys. Looks like I'm the dummy.

All right, everybody, get ready to leave for the church!

BAKER: Miss McGee, a minute, please.

I'll see you tomorrow morning at communion breakfast, Dick.

Good night, Miss McGee.

GARVEY: Good night.

BAKER: Come in, Miss McGee, come in.

If only more people had your spiritual zeal.

I wouldn't bid spades with a hand like that.

(BAKER CHUCKLING)

May I say, Miss McGee, you certainly live up to your reputation.

Likewise, Your Excellency.

Call me Dick.

You'll have to forgive me, but I wasn't brought up

to call bishops by their nicknames.

Huh. Well, then, how about Richard?

I'll stick with Bishop, if you don't mind.

Sister Judy tells me that you're planning

to retire at the end of the school year.

AGATHA: Yes, I've decided that it's time.

It's a shame to lose you.

I have a feeling that we could be great friends.

Well, I'd rather that you remained my spiritual leader.

Now, if you'll excuse me, our children are waiting.

Yes, Miss McGee.

JAMES: I salute you, Agatha, for standing up to the Bishop.

You're indeed a woman of singular courage.

But being a singular spirit, I wonder, are you ever lonely?

I, myself, have had only three true friends in my life,

an old schoolmaster named Haggerty in my early days of teaching,

a fisherman called Langtry who was more at home in the pubs than on the water

and a school teacher in Minnesota,

who was perhaps the truest friend of all.

How lucky I am to have you.

Love, James.

(CHUCKLES)

"Love, James"?

LILLIAN: Ten days in Ireland, Agatha.

Doesn't it sound exciting?

I already told you, I'm not going.

But it'll be fun!

We've never been on a trip together.

Well, traveling around with a busload of biddies

doesn't exactly get my adrenaline pumping.

Now come along, Lillian.

I don't want to be late for my own surprise party.

You know!

Oh, Lillian! I've been living in this town my entire life.

I'd be a ninny if I didn't know.

JUDITH: For everyone who has ever been in her class,

and looking around the room, I'd say that's almost everyone here,

Miss McGee is St. Isidore's.

By her hard work and dedication,

she has inspired over 1,200 students to new horizons.

So, it's only fitting

that in honor of her retirement, we do the same for her.

It's a first class ticket on the Church's pilgrimage to Ireland.

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Thank you very, very much indeed.

I... For the first...

(BAND PLAYING WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

AGATHA: Dear James, what would you say if I told you that

we were finally going to meet?

You see, it seems I'm finally coming to Ireland.

♪ I think we're gonna make some music tonight

♪ The stars around This feeling so right

♪ Make some music tonight ♪

(ALL CHEERING)

You got a sweet voice there, Randy.

JANET: Doesn't he, though?

Oh, you should've heard him this afternoon singing by the jukebox.

This afternoon? Why weren't you at work?

Oh, I was gonna tell you. I left my job.

You left your job? Why did you do that?

Archie said I didn't meet my damn sales quota.

Then you didn't leave. You were fired.

Left, fired, who cares?

What's selling water softeners mean

in the larger context of life anyway, huh?

It means that you have to make a living.

(CHUCKLES)

Maybe Miss McGee was right.

Oh, jeez. What're you always bringing her up for?

What's she been saying about me now?

That you don't know what you want.

That you've got no drive, no initiative.

Well, she hasn't seen me make love to you.

Randy, how are we gonna get married

if you can't even afford to move out of your parents' house?

I'll get another job.

There's nobody left to hire you!

Look, maybe it's too soon.

Maybe you're not ready yet.

And maybe neither am I.

Damn! God!

That old woman, this is all her fault.

Why do you listen to her anyway?

I owe Miss McGee a lot.

She took me in when I had Stephen.

She got me a job at St. Isidore's.

Yeah, and you've been doing whatever she tells you ever since.

What does she know about love?

I bet she's never even had a man make love to her.

What man would want to?

I don't want to listen to this.

You go on. You do what she says.

And then maybe one day, you'll end up like her.

You know, running other people's lives

because you don't have one of your own.

You gave him his ring back?

JANET: I already have a child, Miss McGee.

What I want now is a husband.

Someone to look out for Stephen and me.

Sit still, come on.

Randy Meers was never good enough for you.

I've always thought that.

He's had every opportunity in the world and what has he done with it? Nothing.

You'll find the right man in time.

I thought I had, Miss McGee.

I thought my life...

And now it all just...

(SOBBING)

Now, now, now. Let's not have any of that.

I'm sorry, Miss McGee.

But who's gonna want to marry me?

I've got no money, no name,

a son without a father.

Now, Janet, don't underestimate yourself.

You turned into a fine young woman,

with common sense and responsibility.

You know, I haven't been on a trip

since I took the eighth graders to Washington D.C. in 1972.

(LAUGHS)

I envy you, Miss McGee, going to Ireland.

Even if it is with the Bishop and Mrs. Kite.

How would you like to come along?

To Ireland?

It would do you good.

JANET: Can't afford it.

But I can.

I'll just trade in my first class ticket for two in tourist.

But it's your retirement gift.

Well, then I can do what I like.

Well, what about Stephen? I mean, I can't just leave him.

Well, you leave him with your father and sisters

every day when you go to work.

I'm sure they'd be more than delighted to look after him for you.

Besides, it's only for 10 days.

Ten days? I've never even been gone overnight.

Then it's time you got out of Staggerford.

It's time we both did.

I wish you'd change your mind, Agatha.

I told you over and over, Lillian.

I'm going on ahead to Dublin to trace my family tree.

Tracing your family tree won't take 10 whole days.

Well, it's a very extensive family.

You'd see a lot more of Ireland if you went with the group.

Well, to be honest...

(SHUSHING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Drop dead, dirtbag!

Yeah, what?

I need more in my life right now than I can find in a group.

MAN: Your Excellency.

WOMAN: Hello, Your Excellency.

Well, what'd you do, drink a lot of stout?

Well, don't drink too much here

because you've got a lot to do over there.

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

Ah! Hello, Janet. Mrs. Kite.

Your Excellency.

We having fun?

Oh, it's just wonderful, Your Excellency.

Please, please, ladies, none of this formality.

Just call me Dick.

LILLIAN: (CHUCKLES) All right.

Could you stand a little to one side, Dick?

You're blocking the screen.

Sorry, Lillian.

I see Miss McGee is asleep.

I was hoping I could convince her to come with us.

Yeah, well, I've already tried.

She can be plain bullheaded sometimes.

Well, next stop, Ireland.

Pleasant dreams, Miss McGee.

Agatha?

A bishop in checks!

Well, I suppose we should be grateful

that he didn't come dressed as a leprechaun.

(CHUCKLING)

JAMES: You cannot imagine my astonishment

when I read that you were coming after all these years to Ireland.

I hope we have the opportunity of spending some time together.

Some time? I should hope so.

Excuse me?

Oh, nothing.

Put the luggage in the back, please! Yes. All right.

You go back to sleep now. All right. Bye-bye.

AGATHA: How's Stephen?

He's fine, only I woke everybody up.

Well, now I want you to take your mind

off things back home and have a good time.

Hurry up, Janet! I saved you a seat up front with me!

I wish you were coming along. GARVEY: Last call!

Well, I'll see you in Dublin in three days.

All right.

I know you can survive until then. Now off you go.

Take care. Yeah, and take out your raincoat.

Now they say that the Irish weather changes from minute to minute.

All right. Take care.

GARVEY: See you in Dublin, Agatha.

Have a good time.

(HORN HONKING)

Going my way, Miss McGee?

Oh, I thought you were on the bus, Your Excellency.

No, I'm driving ahead to Dublin.

Can I give you a lift?

No, thank you. I've already planned to rent a car.

Well, there's no sense both of us renting a car to drive to the same place.

Well, nonetheless, I prefer to travel alone.

Well, what if you get lost or you have a flat tire?

Well, then I will ask for assistance.

I don't suppose that you're accustomed to driving on the left.

Fortunately, I still have the capacity to learn.

Miss McGee, it's been a long trip. You must be as tired as I am.

And frankly, I could use some help in reading these damn...

Uh, darn maps.

I could never make head or tail out of them.

AGATHA: Tell me, Your Excellency,

why aren't you with the group?

I mean, Mr. Garvey's brochure made it look as if you were the leader.

God help them.

BAKER: I am, but first I have a little big game hunting to do.

Oh, elephants, rhinoceros?

No, no, much more endangered species than that. Priests.

Seems to be fewer and fewer of them every year.

You know, I'm trying to bag a couple for our parishes back home.

Well, then you might try dressing as a bishop rather than a tourist.

No, no, it's easier to get around this way.

You see, the faith is very strong here in Ireland.

People tend to confuse bishops with saints.

Well, that would be a mistake.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

Oh, look at that view!

As much as I try to picture it in my mind,

it always amazes me when I actually see it.

You know, I find a spot like this,

I just want to burst out into song.

♪ Wrap me up in me oil skins and blankets

♪ No more on the dock I'll be seen

♪ Just tell me old shipmates I'm taking a trip, mates

♪ I'll see you someday at Fiddler's Green ♪

Care to join me, Miss McGee?

Well, let's not add to Ireland's troubles.

We really should continue. I want to get to Dublin before nightfall.

Miss McGee, I have something to confess.

A bishop confessing to me?

Well, there was method to the madness of asking you to drive with me.

As you know, many of our parochial schools back home have been closed.

Well, you've destroyed six of them yourself.

Destroyed is hardly the word that I would use.

Well, it's my word and it's perfectly accurate.

I'm sorry you feel that way,

but the cost of keeping those schools open is exorbitant.

But education is not a financial matter.

I don't believe they'll continue to serve

the same purpose that they once did.

Are you telling me that I devoted my life to a lost cause?

Hardly! Your contribution to St. Isidore's has been invaluable.

You'll be remembered long after it's gone.

You mean St. Isidore's is next on your hit list?

In two years.

Oh! This is insufferable!

You're a bishop.

How can you strip your churches and close your schools?

One door closes. But another one opens.

Well, thank goodness I got out of that door

before you slammed it in my face.

(SIGHS)

Miss McGee,

as you know, Sister Judy is leaving.

She's going to assist Father Finn, who's getting on.

Oh, and who's going to take her place as principal?

Well, I...

Or are you planning to do away with that position altogether?

No, no! I have a replacement in mind.

Someone who knows all of the ropes.

Someone who knows St. Isidore's better than St. Isidore himself.

Oh, don't look at me. I retired. Remember?

You were there blowing your horn.

Well, you could always make a comeback. Huh?

Oh, no. I won't be your lame duck principal.

Last person left in the halls, going from room to room,

making sure that the lights are out

and the blinds are down, etc, etc.

No, I have other plans for my retirement, thank you,

and they don't include presiding over the demise of St. Isidore's.

Yeah.

Well, here we are.

Yeah.

Hope the trip wasn't too unpleasant.

Oh, not for the most part.

Well, I'm off to the seminary for a couple of days.

Oh, uh, Miss McGee.

Will you think about what we discussed?

AGATHA: I already told you. I've made up my mind.

Good luck with your hunting. Bring them back alive.

Now then, James. What do you think of this?

Huh?

Me, neither. I'm going out to dinner, not to a teachers' conference.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello?

Oh, yes!

Yes, I'll be right down. Thank you very much.

MAN: Mr. Hibbins, you have a phone call.

Phone call for Mr. Hibbins.

JAMES: Agatha?

At last, Agatha.

Yes, James, at last.

JAMES: It's not a bad bus ride from Ballybegs,

if you don't mind the stops and starts.

I have my own special seat in the back of the upper deck,

where I can look out above the dust and the grime,

and for a few minutes, feel like God in his heaven.

Now what are you finding so interesting?

AGATHA: Your voice.

So many times I've tried to imagine it.

Well, if you only knew how many times I'd longed to

hear yours as well.

To see your face before me in person, not just in a photograph.

Then you're not sorry that I came?

Sorry?

Well, after your last letter, I was a bit concerned that perhaps...

Well, I shouldn't even tell you.

No, please. Go on.

I'm afraid you'll think I'm foolish, James,

but I thought I sensed a certain

reticence?

Well, I must admit I was surprised at first to hear of your coming.

We Irish aren't the world travelers you Americans are.

And of course, after so many years of anticipation,

one can't help having certain expectations.

I hope I haven't disappointed you.

You've more than surpassed any hopes I might have had.

Thank you, James.

Oh, don't thank me.

I only hope I don't prove to be a disappointment to you.

That's beef for the mister and cod for the missus.

Thank you very much. Enjoy your food.

I guess we do look like an old married couple.

(CHUCKLES)

Heaven help us from the ones I've seen.

They usually sit there staring down...

Staring down at their plates, exchanging barely a word except, "Pass the salt."

Mmm. Oh, it's the same back in Staggerford.

(CHUCKLES) All around, marriages are crumbling like fruitcake.

Husbands and wives united in the eyes of the Church, but aside from that,

they are strangers to each other their entire lives.

So many people have difficulty

knowing what's in each other's hearts.

But not us, James.

You and I are kindred spirits.

It's our being Irish, you know?

There's always a bond between Irish hearts.

Tell me, Agatha, why didn't a woman such as yourself ever wed?

Was it principle or circumstance?

Oh, circumstance, I suppose.

When I had the opportunity, I didn't have the need,

and when I had the need, I didn't have the opportunity.

What about you, James?

Oh, circumstance as well, you might say.

Well, circumstances can always change.

Well, you must be weary, traveling all the way from Minnesota

with your nemesis, the Bishop.

You know, he's one of those people you could almost like

if it weren't for his beliefs.

Yeah, well, what you need is a good night's rest.

I'll come by tomorrow and give you a proper tour of the city.

What about 10:00?

Oh, 10:00 would be perfect. All right.

And thank you for a lovely evening, James.

Oh. Right, yes.

Well, I suppose I'd better be getting my bus back to Ballybegs.

And four points in between.

(FLUTE PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

This is a statue of Anna Livia,

known affectionately in Dublin as "The Floozy in the Jacuzzi."

(LAUGHING)

(ACCORDION PLAYING)

(BOTH CHATTERING)

JAMES: Isn't it a wonder, Agatha?

AGATHA: What is it about Brueghel that people like so much?

I've never understood it.

Oh, surely you see it.

See what?

Life! Everywhere!

Oh, not as I know it.

It's so chaotic and unpredictable.

Exactly. It can be frightening, but it's also...

It's also thrilling.

I prefer tranquility and order.

As I tell my students, everything in nature has its proper place.

Its proper place. Yes.

And what about you, Agatha? What's yours?

Oh, I wish I knew.

I hope that by coming here I might gain some new perspective.

If only God would take His brush

and do for us what these painters have done,

put us in our proper place.

Yes. And in the best possible light, of course.

Thank you for all the time that you've spent with me today, James.

I don't want to be a burden to you, though,

you know, taking you away from your classes and your students.

Burden? How could you be a burden

when nothing in my life has given me so much joy

than knowing that you're a part of it.

What's it gonna be tomorrow?

More antiquities? Or the sea?

Oh, whatever you like.

Well, I thought we might take a train down to Dun Laoghaire.

There's a magnificent pier there

that stretches way out into the sea.

Oh, how lovely. Well, then Dun Laoghaire it is.

Miss McGee?

Oh, Janet. What are you doing here? You weren't due till Sunday.

I, uh... I left the tour early.

Mrs. Kite wanted us to be together every minute.

I saw more of her than I did of Ireland.

Janet, this is James O'Hannon.

James, this is Janet.

Raft, am I right?

And how's young Stephen?

He's just passed his fourth year, if I'm not mistaken.

Oh, and congratulations.

Please accept my congratulations

on engagement to the Meers boy.

JANET: He's your boyfriend.

AGATHA: Of course he's not. Don't be ridiculous.

He is. I can't believe it. James O'Hannon is your boyfriend.

Will you stop saying that? He's 65.

All right, he's your man friend.

Oh, Miss McGee, I'm so happy for you.

I just think it's wonderful!

BELLMAN: Here we are, miss.

Oh! Thank you very much. Could you just leave the bag inside?

Sure. Thank you.

When did you meet him? Yesterday.

That was fast.

Well, actually we saw each other for the first time yesterday,

but we've been corresponding for years.

Come on in.

You're pen pals?

In a way, I suppose you could say that.

He wrote a letter to the editor of The Fortress about five years ago

that caught my eye, condemning the recent changes in the Church.

He said exactly what was in my heart.

So I wrote to the address that he gave.

Ballybegs, County Wicklow, Ireland.

I wondered if it would ever find him,

but shortly after, a letter arrived, in a gray envelope.

And then another,

and soon we were sharing our thoughts, our feelings and our lives.

Would you like a glass of water?

Sure.

So that's how he knew about Stephen and Randy and me, huh?

What does he do?

He's a teacher.

Just like you. And he's so handsome, Miss McGee.

Is he what you expected?

Well, actually, he's more.

No wonder you wanted to come on straight to Dublin.

Does anybody else know?

Not a soul.

Not even Mrs. Kite?

Oh, especially not Mrs. Kite.

But she says you tell her everything.

Oh, and she tells everybody else.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Well, don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.

It's so romantic.

Oh, Janet.

But you're in love, aren't you?

Oh, certainly not. James and I are correspondents.

We're friends.

That's not what I saw when he looked at you.

Well, what did you see?

Miss McGee, you may know a lot of stuff, more than anybody else I know,

but this is one area that I know something about.

Trust me.

James O'Hannon's in love with you.

JAMES: Over there is the Martello Tower of Joyce's Ulysses.

You follow the land around to the north, you'll come to Howth Head.

And beyond that, the Wicklow Hills.

AGATHA: Yes.

Oh, I'm told they're very beautiful.

Yeah.

Can we go there, James, tomorrow or the next day?

I'm afraid not. I've other things to attend to.

A friend of mine died in this harbor, name of Desmond.

Went out sailing one Sunday, overdid it and drowned.

Did he have any family?

He was a priest.

But no death affected me more than my sister's, though.

Marion. Yes.

It's been grim going home since then.

My brother, Matt's letting the pub go down.

It's not as cozy as it was when she and my mother ran it.

But I still make that journey back

when I want to remember how it felt,

having the presence of a woman, I mean.

Do you know there's wind in the name McGee?

Oh, there is?

Yes, it derives from the word, gaoth, or wind.

The wind that brought you here.

James, you know what I'd like to do most

while I'm here is to go there with you to Ballybegs.

I've seen it through your letters

and I've imagined it myself so many times.

We could go to church. We could share Mass together.

What is it, James? What's the matter?

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Agatha, but we...

We won't be able to see each other again.

(FIDDLE PLAYING)

James, please, tell me what's wrong.

Well, something's come up, a sort of crisis.

A crisis? Is it your teaching, your work?

No, no, not that. Or is it your family?

Is your brother, Matt, not well again?

No, it's nothing like that. It...

Well, what then?

I mean, you'd write it to me in a letter.

Well, a letter's different.

But we always tell each other everything.

We always have.

Well, maybe someday I will, but for now,

let me just say how very much you mean to me.

What time is James picking you up?

Oh, he's not.

I'm going to meet him.

As a matter of fact, there's a bus that leaves Aston Quay at 9:30

that gets into Ballybegs at 10:40, in time for the late Mass.

The one that he prefers with the choir.

That'll be nice.

Well, I can't very well go back to Staggerford

without going to church with him.

Not after all this time. Goodbye.

Oh, you stay there and finish your breakfast.

Bye.

DRIVER: Ballybegs, next stop!

Ballybegs!

Excuse me. Could you direct me to St. Bridgett's Church?

Go up the hill to the street leading up to the glen.

It's on the left.

And say a prayer for me, darling.

Thank you very much.

(CHURCH BELL TOLLING)

MAN: Brandon! Come on!

BOY: I'm coming!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Pardon me. Would you happen to know a James O'Hannon?

O'Hannon? Yes.

(ORGAN PLAYING)

(EXHALES)

(FOOTSTEPS ECHOING)

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.

The Lord be with you.

CROWD: And also with you.

(SOBBING)

Why?

Why have you done this to me?

I've served and defended you.

I've given you my entire life.

How could you let this happen?

How could you bring me all this way when you knew it was my only hope.

(SOBBING)

But she's got to be here. She arrived three days ago.

We want you all to register and have your passports ready.

I'm sorry, madam. She just checked out.

Is something the matter, Lillian?

Oh, Dick, he says that Agatha's checked out.

Checked out?

Mrs. Kite, is some...

Oh, Janet! Something awful has happened.

Agatha's disappeared.

Disappeared?

BAKER: Well, she checked out.

You haven't been in touch with her, have you?

JANET: Not since this morning.

Well, the desk clerk said she was beside herself.

I wonder if it has something to do...

Something to do with what?

I can't say. It's a secret.

Agatha and I don't have secrets.

Excuse me, Bishop.

I sent her to a dear friend I know who runs a little B&B.

Rosella Coyle, salt of the earth.

Oh, Janet, why don't you go and have a talk with her.

You know, just make sure she's safe and sound

and she knows what she's doing.

Miss McGee always knows what she's doing.

I knew it was a mistake for her to go off on her own.

She should've gone with us to Waterford and had lobster!

ROSELLA: She's barely just arrived.

She couldn't stand the noise on O'Connor's Street, so I sent her straight up.

In here now, dear.

Thank you.

And I'll go and get her.

Oh, I just needed to be alone, that's all.

I was gonna call you when I got settled.

What happened with James?

I've decided not to see him again.

Why not?

ROSELLA: Here now. That'll take the chill out of it.

JANET: Thank you, Mrs. Coyle.

He's not my type.

JANET: I thought he was everything you ever dreamed of.

Oh, he could be a few inches taller.

But you have so much in common.

You both love the Church. You're both teachers.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, now, let me tell you what kind of teaching he does.

It's a very special kind of teaching.

From the pulpit.

He's a priest?

I didn't know he was a priest. You never mentioned anything about...

Miss McGee, you didn't know either, did you?

I'm so sorry.

I thought we were kindred spirits,

that our hearts were one.

At least, that's what he led me to believe.

But he's a liar.

Our whole relationship was a lie.

Well, I won't tolerate liars.

Whatever the cloth they wear.

When I get home, I'm gonna burn all his letters.

Well, I've wasted enough time.

I intend to get on with my trip.

Mrs. Coyle said that there's quite an impressive promenade quite nearby.

Oh, listen to this.

"The visitor is greeted by the sound of welcoming sea gulls overhead,

"while on the sun-drenched horizon,

"fishing boats bob atop white caps

"like half shells of walnuts suspended on strings."

(VOICE QUIVERING) Well, must be a sight not to be missed.

(RINGING)

RANDY: Hello. JANET: Randy?

Janet? Is that you?

Where are you?

I'm in Dublin.

Is something wrong?

No. No, nothing's wrong.

It's 2:00 in the morning.

Oh, I forgot about the time.

I was just wondering how you are, you know, what you're up to.

Well, let's see.

I went up to your dad's farm today to see Stephen.

You did?

Yeah. I took him for a ride in the car.

You know, we put in some tapes, we sang along.

Does he miss me?

Oh, sure, he misses you! I miss you, too.

Oh, hey, guess what.

I got myself a new job, selling real estate for my father.

He's gonna let me show the Vaughn place on River Street.

It's listed for 70,000. Think what my commission will be if I sell it.

That's great, but, you know, don't get your hopes up too high.

Why not?

Well, you know how you get when things don't work out the way you want them to.

First, you lose interest and then you quit.

Thanks for the load of confidence.

I didn't mean it that way.

You still don't have any faith in me, do you?

I didn't say that.

It's what you're thinking. It's what you and Miss McGee...

Why do you have to bring her into it for?

I'm not! You're usually the one who does.

Look! I didn't call all this way just to get into a fight.

Well, what did you call for?

If you can't figure that out, you're even more hopeless than Miss McGee says you are.

Goodbye, Randy. Janet...

(SIGHS)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Bishop Baker?

Janet, I'm sorry to disturb you,

but I was concerned about Miss McGee.

Did you see her?

She's pretty upset, all right.

Mmm. Did she say why?

Please, Your Excellency, don't make me tell you.

She'd die if anybody knew.

Now, Janet, I'm not asking as the bishop or as the tour leader or...

I'm asking as a friend.

I care about Miss McGee as much as you do.

If she's in some kind of trouble,

I want to know so I can help her.

Come on in. Thanks.

Um...

There's this man that she's been writing to for a few years now,

sort of like pen pals, but more serious.

How serious?

She fell in love.

Miss McGee?

Is it so hard to believe?

She came all this way just to see him, but it didn't work out.

He doesn't love her.

Oh, he loves her all right! At least, I think he does.

He's just not available.

You mean he's married?

You could say that.

To the Church.

He's a priest?

A Catholic priest? Who is this man?

Please, Your Excellency, don't ask me...

Janet, I want to know. It's important that you tell me.

(SIGHS)

His name is James O'Hannon.

O'Hannon.

He lives in some town called Ballybegs.

Ballybegs.

Well, it seems St. Patrick didn't chase all of the snakes out of Ireland.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

May God bless you.

Thank you.

(HONKING)

Father O'Hannon?

I am, Your Excellency.

Bishop Baker.

Diocese of Barrington, Minnesota.

Dick!

Ha! How's the trombone?

You're still playing with that band every Thursday, isn't it?

That's right.

However, I haven't come here to discuss myself, Father.

Well, no. No, of course not. Please, please come in.

So, Agatha has told you about me, huh?

Actually it's a young woman who's traveling with her.

Oh, that would be Janet.

You seem to know all about us.

Oh, Agatha keeps me informed about the goings-on in Staggerford.

Please, go in, please. Sit down. I'll just...

Oh, yes! We got to know a great deal about each other,

Agatha and I.

BAKER: Then you should also know that she's very upset.

Of course, you may say this is none of my business,

you may be right, but the fact is...

The fact is that I'm a priest and I didn't tell her.

Would you like a whiskey?

No, thank you.

Tell me, Bishop. Have you ever wanted to know a woman?

Not as a priest, but as a man.

I suppose that's natural enough.

But we decide against it when we're ordained, don't we?

I'm not talking about the desires of the flesh.

I'm talking about the desire to understand a woman,

to share one's soul with her.

I mean, that's innocent enough, isn't it?

Why not? Why shouldn't we have women friends?

I encourage it in my priests, but then, why hide the fact?

Oh. The only indiscretion in me life

and in less than two days, here's a bishop after me!

It's more than an indiscretion, Father.

It is years of concealing your identity.

I beg to differ with you, Your Excellency.

Never in my life have I revealed so much of my identity

as I did to Agatha.

I've told her a thousand things I've never told anyone else.

All except the most pertinent of all!

That you are a priest!

One fact withheld out of a thousand.

But that is the most important fact.

Perhaps.

Perhaps not. Now if you'll excuse me,

I've got my cooking to attend to.

And I'll come back later after you've eaten.

Oh, you'll join me. That's what you'll do.

I'll put another steak on the cooker.

I'm not very hungry.

Well, eat what you can. What you can't, you can leave.

Oh, come on, Bishop. You cannot drink on an empty stomach!

(LAUGHS)

You, uh, you do your own cooking then?

Such as it is. My own housekeeping as well.

Now, Bishop, would you care for a few mushrooms?

I picked them myself this morning.

There's a forest grove near here

which is a grand place for mushrooms.

I'll skip the mushrooms, thank you.

(LAUGHS) Admit it.

You've no faith in my ability

to pick the good ones from the poison ones, right?

Well, one...

One can't be too careful.

But these are delicious!

No, no, thank you.

Oh, now, look here. I'm gonna make a mushroom-eater of you yet.

Lady Wellington, where the devil are you?

(CAT MEWS)

Pussy! Oh, there you are.

(MEWING)

Now see here, Bishop. This is the proof.

I'm gonna feed some mushrooms

to Lady Wellington and see if she survives.

Come on, now.

(MEWING)

(EXCLAIMS) The verdict's in! She lives!

Well, here's to your tour of Ireland, Bishop,

a happy one overall, I trust.

I hope I didn't snarl it up for you. Cheers.

It's not myself I'm concerned about.

You still haven't explained why you sent

the sort of letters you did to Miss McGee.

Well, try looking at it from my side, if you will.

I mean, how well do you know Ireland, Dick?

This is my fourth visit.

Oh, then, you've some idea of the clergy's role here.

Well, you probably saw it yourself coming through town.

Nothing but worshipful smiles and admiration,

which is fine, if you're a prince, but I'm a man.

A man with no friends.

Agatha was the closest one I had,

even though she was 10,000 miles away.

And if you were so close, why didn't you confide your situation?

I tried to dozens of times.

But I'd always tear up my attempt,

afraid that if she knew, it would destroy everything.

That I'd become a sort of walking icon to her like I am to everyone else.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Oh, wouldn't you?

Have you persuaded her yet to call you by your proper name

instead of, "Your Excellency"?

You know as well as I do. Agatha takes her religion straight up!

JANET: I wonder if that's how Randy and I would've looked one day.

It takes a long, long time to look like that.

So where are you off to today?

Oh, I don't have any plans, really.

Well, you didn't come all this way to hold my hand.

(CHUCKLES) I don't mind.

It makes me less homesick for Stephen and my dad and my sisters

and for Randy.

Did you know that there was wind in the name, McGee?

You know, James told me that.

Oh, there's no point in talking about him anymore.

It's over and done with.

But I'm not over and done with it.

You know, Janet, I'm really looking forward to my retirement.

I've got a stack of books I've been meaning to get to

and my vegetable garden is in desperate need of attention.

Oh, and then there's the Retired Teachers' Association.

You know, Lillian's been after me for years

to join the Staggerford Senior Citizens' Group.

I suppose I'll be there with them Thursday nights,

playing bingo and listening to them

bragging about their grandchildren.

Preston Warner had seven at the last count.

Mr. Warner who owns the hardware store?

Yeah.

What made you think of him?

Oh, nothing.

He proposed to me in 1944.

Of course, in those days, his father owned the store.

I turned him down.

You didn't love him.

Oh, on the contrary. I loved him madly as only a 19-year-old can.

Oh, he was quite a sight to behold,

on leave from the army.

In his uniform. Like Gary Cooper.

Then why didn't you say yes?

Well, I was the daughter of a prominent attorney

and his father owned a hardware store.

I thought I had higher aspirations

than being the wife of a man who weighed

nails and measured barbed wire.

How was I to know that no one would ever ask me again?

James, I really got to hand it to you.

Those mushrooms were delicious.

As we say in the States, you really know how to pick 'em.

She came all this way only to discover that

the man she's given her heart to is not only a priest,

but a common liar to boot.

James.

James, James, James.

Oh, my God!

(GASPS)

James!

(SNORING)

The cat is dead.

It's the mushrooms.

I knew it. We shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms.

James, we've been poisoned. James! You hear me?

We've got to find a doctor, fast. It's the mushrooms.

It's not possible.

Uh, yes, it is possible. Where's the nearest hospital?

Hospital?

Yes, hospital! We've got to get to a hospital.

Is there a hospital in Ballybegs?

Nearest one is St. Finian's.

St. Finian's? How do you get there?

Well, you go out the front door.

Oh, no! Come on. Turn right...

Come on! Let's get going!

I'm beginning to feel the poison already!

Well, I don't feel anything!

I've been picking mushrooms in that place for 30 years!

Oh, I hope they can save us!

Lord, please, don't let me die now! I've got so much to do!

Are you sure you don't want me to walk you over to Mrs. Coyle's?

I'll be fine! I plan to take a hot tub

and then I'm going to go to bed early.

Now you run along and have a good evening.

Excuse me.

Hello, Miss Raft. There's someone waiting for you.

(LAUGHS)

RANDY: So the buyers and the sellers were 9,000 apart.

Uh-huh.

Okay, but it's not a lot for a house in this price range,

so I get on the phone with the buyer.

I get him to come up with his offer 4,000

and then I went out and saw the seller.

Uh-huh.

And got him to come down 4,000.

But that still leaves 1,000.

I know.

So and neither of these guys would budge,

so in order to close this thing,

I kick in 1,000 from my commission.

That was smart.

Then I spent the rest on a round-trip ticket to come see you.

That was dumb!

It's the first good money you've made

and what do you do with it? Blow it!

And what do you think I should've done?

A hundred things.

Used it to rent your own apartment

or make a down payment on a decent car

or just put it in the bank and let it collect interest.

I thought coming to see you was more important.

But I'm gonna be home in a couple of days. Couldn't you wait?

No. Randy.

Look.

If you did this to impress me so I'd marry you,

then you've wasted your money,

because it only proves how immature and irresponsible you are.

(LAUGHS)

You know, you're getting real good at it.

Good at what? Sounding like her.

Maybe you're right. You know?

Maybe it was a dumb thing to do.

But, I mean, how many times do you get to

show the person you love just how much you really love them?

Randy?

(CHUCKLES)

Not often enough.

WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Sullivan, pick up on 241.

O'NEILL: Well, your pulse is fine.

Good, good.

Sorry to do it this way, Jim,

but there's no point in purging you when you're drunk.

You might choke in your own vomit.

We're all clear, are we?

(CHUCKLES) Of everything I've ever eaten in my entire life.

You'll be fine now, Your Excellency.

Uh, how's Father O'Hannon?

Oh, he'll be fine, too.

Only there's something not quite right about all this.

I've known James O'Hannon all my life and he's not a drinker.

Oh, he might have one too many now and again like the rest of us,

but you never see him this way.

Has something upset him?

I think so, yes.

Oh, that explains it.

He knows his mushrooms better than anybody in the county.

I've had them myself. They're delicious.

(GAGGING)

BAKER: Don't blame yourself, James.

It could happen to anyone.

JAMES: I still don't see how it's possible!

Ah, now don't speak. The doctor said not to speak if it hurts.

Well, it's not my throat that's causing me pain.

Well, we're gonna be in Dublin for three more days.

Why don't you go see her?

And confess my sin of omission?

Oh, it's not a confession you owe her, James.

You owe her a full explanation.

I owe her a great deal more, after all she's given me.

But Agatha's proud and stubborn, the same as I am.

It's the Irish in us.

She's not about to dismiss a grievance lightly.

Why don't you do it for your sake as well as for hers?

Well, now, look, Bishop.

Would you care to come in and warm yourself up with a little tea?

No, no, I've got to get back.

I was supposed to have dinner with the tour.

Are you gonna be all right?

Well, I expect my stomach will heal itself quicker than my heart.

Goodbye, Dick.

Goodbye, James.

Oh, and, uh, thanks for the lunch.

(LAUGHS)

(MEWING)

(SIGHS)

Lady Wellington.

James Joyce always thought of the River Liffey as a woman.

(SIGHS) Then she must know how I feel.

I'm sorry if it hasn't been a happy trip for you, Miss McGee.

When I left Staggerford, I didn't care if I ever saw it again.

All I can think about now is going back.

Is it because of Father O'Hannon?

How did you know about him?

Janet told me. Don't blame her.

When you left the hotel so suddenly, I pulled rank.

I demanded to know what was going on.

What right did you have?

What business is it of yours?

If I overstepped the bounds of privacy, I apologize.

You most certainly have!

But it's only because I care about you.

Well, why should you care about me?

I abhor what you've done to the Church.

What you're planning to do to St. Isidore's.

Church matters aside, I still consider you a friend, a dear friend.

And I'm damned if I'm going to let anybody take advantage of you.

Well, you'll forgive me for saying so,

but you'll be damned for a lot before that.

Perhaps, but when I learned that you had been deceived,

and by a priest, no less,

I felt it was my duty to intervene.

I was even prepared to let him have it in a most ungodly way.

But after I met him and then I listened to what he had to say...

You met him? Yes, well, we spent yesterday together.

Huh, quite a memorable experience.

Well, spare me the blow-by-blow.

Miss McGee, he is a good man.

And he is extremely distressed by the pain he's caused you.

Well, so he should be!

Yeah, he said you'd say that.

Yeah, well, he knows me very well.

Well, he said that, too.

Well, there's no point in discussing it any further.

Miss McGee, aren't you being a little harsh?

Harsh? After all you and he have shared?

Which I never would have done had I known that he...

He was a priest?

That's exactly why he didn't tell you.

Miss McGee, are you really going to expel James O'Hannon

because he failed one test?

What are you asking me to do now?

Give up my belief in right and wrong?

Is this the next modernization of Church teaching?

Well, I won't. I can't.

Because if I gave that up, I'll have nothing left.

JANET: Miss McGee!

You'll never guess who's here.

Miss McGee.

Hello, Mr. Meers.

Aren't you surprised to see him?

At this point, I doubt that anything would surprise me,

although I will say that your presence here is very unexpected.

Can you believe that Randy spent his entire...

Well, almost his entire commission just to come here to see me?

You won't have much time to see the sights.

Then we'll just have to come back for our honeymoon.

Good night then.

Ah, Miss McGee, there was a priest here

earlier this evening looking for you.

AGATHA: If Father O'Hannon stops by again,

would you kindly tell him that I'm not in?

Oh.

Maybe he came to apologize.

Well, then he's five years too late.

Miss McGee,

you know, you're not being very fair to him

and you weren't very nice to Randy just now.

Well, if you ask me, what he did was impetuous,

bordering on downright foolish.

Well, no one has asked you and you've got no right calling Randy a fool.

Kindly lower your voice when you address me.

I'm not surprised that you're taken in by some grandstand gesture.

In many ways, you're very young.

It has always been your nature to give more credit than what is due.

And yours has always been to give less.

Even in school, when a grade was on the line,

you always gave the lower one.

To make you work harder!

Would you rather have had it easier?

I wasn't thinking of me. I was thinking of you. Always expecting so much.

You're bound to be disappointed.

Well, I can't help it. It's my nature.

Well, I'm glad it's not mine, because nobody's perfect, Miss McGee.

Not me, not Randy, not Father O'Hannon, not even you.

Look, if you don't mind, I've had a very exhausting day.

You know, you used to teach us in class

that God was love and that we should try to be like Him.

Well, if God can be forgiving, then why can't you?

(DOOR CLOSES)

May I help you?

I'm looking for Father O'Hannon.

Father O'Hannon isn't here, I'm afraid.

Well, do you know where I might find him?

That's what we'd all like to know.

He hasn't done Mass or confessions for two days.

Well, he must have told someone where he was going.

Not a word. Seems as though he's disappeared.

Disappeared?

You stupping down on that stool, Patty, or am I getting taller?

PATTY: I doubt that.

Get out of that. Here's your tea then, Jim.

Well, thanks, Matty.

You sure you wouldn't like something stronger?

Drop of whiskey?

I've had enough whiskey in the last few days to pickle a weaker man.

No, the tea'll do me fine.

Come on, Jim. What is it?

You've been sitting here for two days now.

And I'll sit here till doomsday if I like,

or at least as long as it says O'Hannon above the door.

And now, if you'll excuse me,

I really would like to be left alone.

Greta Garbo.

You've got Mother's pigheadedness. That's for sure.

Well, after all these years, I finally got to O'Hannon's pub.

Agatha!

How did you find your way to Dunbridge?

Well, one thing teachers know is how to read a bus schedule. May I?

Uh, but, of course! Yes!

Uh, Matty! Matty!

But who told you I was here?

You did. You told me yourself that this is where you come

when you need to find some solace.

Oh, and this must be your baby brother, Matt.

You look so much alike.

How's your rheumatism, Matt?

Kind of been acting up a little.

Oh, this is Miss McGee, Matty, from America.

Hello. Hello.

JAMES: Would you care for some tea, Agatha?

Some stout, I think.

Well, now don't look at me like that.

You don't know everything about me, you know.

No, I do let my hair down once in a while.

Even if it's just to wash it.

Well, you heard the lady, Matty. A stout!

(CHUCKLES) Right away.

So, James, I hear you've met my nemesis, the Bishop.

Tell me. What did you think of him?

Well, as you said, he's a hard man not to like.

Well, he felt the same way about you.

Agatha, I've so much to say to you.

I know, James.

If it was a letter, I could pour my heart out.

There's no stopping me when I get a pen in my hand.

But looking at you sitting there now

with all that pain in your eyes,

pain that I put there,

there are no words to express how sorry I am.

For being Father O'Hannon?

For not telling you.

You see, if only...

MATT: Good health. Oh, thank you, Matt.

If only there was some way I could make you understand.

But it would all sound like the sorry excuses of some pitiful, old man.

Well, I won't deny that I'm disappointed.

Or that I'm very hurt.

I don't believe I've ever been so hurt by anyone in my life.

Why didn't you tell me?

I meant to, at first. You must believe that.

But when your letters started arriving

like they did from out of the blue, invading my solitude,

I felt reborn. Resurrected.

Oh, how could I risk losing what I longed for?

I mean, at last, someone I could open up to.

Someone who could see me for who I truly am.

Not just Father O'Hannon, but dear James.

But you're not dear James.

Yes, I am! I'll always be dear James to you.

But it would only be a lie.

It would be a lie if I were to deny it.

You see, I love you, Agatha.

Strike me down for blasphemy and banish me to hell, but it's true.

I knew it from your penmanship.

The clean line, the elegant loops.

I knew it from every tidbit you'd share with me about Staggerford.

You'd make me chuckle and yearn to be there.

And I knew it when I first saw you here.

As splendid a woman as I could've imagined.

James, are you crying?

No, my tears,

they are self-pity, that's all.

I've been a priest too long to know

that people only cry over what they've lost

and I'm no exception.

I'm crying over what we had

and what I no longer deserve.

James?

James?

Oh, James.

I understand how much our letters meant to you,

but they meant as much to me.

It didn't matter that my life was as cold as a Minnesota winter,

because you were always there to come home to.

To cheer and comfort me.

To give my heart a little kick.

To remind me that I wasn't alone.

Your letters were the only thing

that ever came up to my expectations.

You made me feel loved.

It's not the sort of love you dreamed of.

Or the sort of love I would have wanted to give you

if my life had been different.

But it's yours, Agatha.

That is, if you still want it.

I never thought it would be like this.

Is what I've done a sin?

I can't answer that, James.

Only your conscience knows your sins.

But over the last five years, I've come to think of you as my conscience.

Oh, Lord help us!

(BOTH LAUGH)

Do you think you can ever forgive me?

Well, forgiving has never been one of my skills.

I've never been very good at it.

But I'll try.

Body of Christ. Amen.

Body of Christ. Amen.

Body of Christ. Amen.

Body of Christ.

Amen.

Body of Christ. Amen.

Don't sleep, don't sleep.

You'll fall asleep immediately when you get home.

It looks like Lillian got what she came for.

(SIGHS)

Ah, I wish I could do that on a plane.

It's always sad to leave.

Hmm. But nice to get home.

I look forward to getting back to my old routine and my old shoes.

So how was your hunting expedition?

Did you manage to bag any young seminarians?

I'm afraid they were all spoken for.

Now I'm short a priest and a principal.

Well, I might be able to help you out on one count.

Oh?

I've been thinking about your offer.

And if it still stands...

Of course, it does!

But I want you to understand one thing. I love St. Isidore's.

It's housed my children for over 40 years

and I will oppose your closing it every step of the way!

I'd be disappointed if you didn't.

Oh, by the way,

I have a message for you from Father O'Hannon.

I don't understand it at all, but he said that you would.

Lady Wellington gave birth to six kittens?

(LAUGHING)

Oh, that is... Oh, it is...

BAKER: Can I have the ring, Stephen?

STEPHEN: Yes, sir.

Thank you.

With this ring, I wed you.

With this ring, I wed you.

In the name of the Father... Name of the Father...

BOTH: And of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen. Amen.

BAKER: What God has joined together,

let no man put asunder.

All right, all right, I'm willing to compromise.

Those students who wish to attend Mass may,

but those who don't may be excused!

Mass, an elective?

Oh, why don't we make believing in God an elective?

Ah!

Those who do, may, and those who don't, may be excused!

You're over-simplifying the whole thing.

Mass will continue to be part of the curriculum of St. Isidore's

as long as I'm principal here and I expect to remain a long time.

Now, unless you have something else to say, I suggest...

Only to say how lovely you look!

Making my life miserable must agree with you.

Get out of my office.

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

AGATHA: Dear James. I just had my weekly run-in with Bishop Baker.

I'm pleased to report St. Isidore's is still standing.

Do you know that Brueghel that you're so fond of?

The one we looked at together?

I just came across it in an art text book for our art history class.

And you know, for the first time,

I can see what excited you.

As you said, it's full of life.

There's a chill in the air. Winter's on the way, but I don't mind.

I like to see an old season making way for the new.

And speaking of new, did I mention I'm going to be a godmother again?

Janet and Randy are expecting.

Soon I'll have another child, along with my 1,200 others.

Write and tell me your news, James.

Did you manage to raise enough money to repair the rectory roof?

I look forward to hearing from you.

With love, Agatha.