Original subtitles

Hey!

Jeez, Blair! You scared the crap out of me!

Sorry! I saw a neighborhood watch outside.

So, I didn't want her to see me coming through the front door,

so I slid in the back.

How was the pool party?

Eh, Megan's parents came home early,

so you really didn't miss much.

Well, I wasn't invited, remember?

You still could have come!

And forget they were all jerks about my mom?

No, thank you! I'd rather make the babysitting money.

Care, they aren't even talking about that anymore, OK?

Really?

'Cause Brady sent me a text

asking if I could sexually harass him too.

Well, Brady acts like a 12-year-old idiot,

so forget about it, all right?

Come on! Don't they have any good food here?

I can't just forget about it, B.

Someone set up my mom!

And whoever did it is obviously from this neighborhood.

I just have to figure out who it was.

OK... Well, did you find anything in here?

No!

Just this.

Get out!

Oh yeah.

And they have a set of cuffs by their bed.

Kinky!

Did you find any skanky videos?

No. They don't even have Netflix.

Wow. No snacks and no streaming.

Hope they pay you decent.

Only if he pays. The wives are always cheap.

Well, not if they come home drunk,

like Janice Murphy.

Why don't you give her my number?

She remarried some guy who has a teenager,

so she doesn't need a sitter anymore.

- Hmm. - Or a friend like this!

Ugh!

They're home! Oh my God!

OK! I'll text you later.

You're lying to me on the day of your daughter's recital.

Why am I lying? What am I lying about?

You know I do business outside the office.

David, we'll talk about it later.

- Yeah. - Hey!

Carrie, I'm so sorry. We're a bit late.

Oh, no, that's OK. It's still summer break for me.

- How was Emma? - Great!

She didn't complain at all at bedtime.

Great. Well, that's 'cause you're so good with her.

Uh, Viv, I'm short on cash.

I got it.

Thank you, Carrie.

- Thank you. - See you across the street.

Good night, Mrs. Kelly!

Have a good night!

I feel like you're not hearing me

and you're not listening to me!

I feel very, like...

You're in another world all the time.

You're just working. And... and the lying!

Like, I... I understand that you had a meeting today,

but I don't understand why...

Carrie!

Isn't it past your curfew?

I was babysitting for the Kellys.

Again? Hmm...

I don't blame Vivian for being upset with David.

I'd be angry too if my husband lied to me about golfing

instead of going to his daughter's recital.

How do you know that's what they're fighting about?

I saw David leaving for work today with his golf clubs.

A wife's got a right to know what her husband's up to.

But I need you to make us the priority.

She should be the priority.

Thank you for removing that sign from your lawn.

Vandalism just makes the neighborhood so ugly.

Good night.

Bitch.

A 9-year-old metro girl

has a new lease on life, thanks to...

Hey!

I didn't hear you come in last night.

Yeah, the Kellys didn't get home till after midnight.

Sorry, there's not much to eat.

I'll bring some groceries home from work.

Someone, uh, left one of your old campaign posters

on the front lawn last night.

I thought people were done with it.

You know, I'm sure as soon as this next campaign ramps up,

they will be.

Is that douche working another campaign?

I don't know.

Well, I hope someone accuses him of sexual harassment

and screws his career.

Oh, Carrie... Come on, please.

Let's put this behind us, OK?

I'll see you tonight. OK.

Advertisers are often faced with the problem

of catching respectful customers.

Well, take the case of...

Mom!

Thank you, sweetheart.

Hey! Good luck on your job interview.

Thank you.

I will see you later.

Mmm! We'll be waiting!

- I love you! - I love you!

Have a great day at work, sweetie!

Carrie, hey!

Sorry, I forgot to ask you last night:

Are you free to babysit on Saturday?

I need to meet David downtown for dinner at 6:00,

so I need you for 5:00?

Another date night, Vivian?

It's actually David's birthday.

Well, I wouldn't get him any more golf clubs if I were you!

It's no problem, Mrs. Kelly.

I'll see you at 5:00.

Oh, and thanks to me,

they put that stop sign I lobbied for

at the top of the street.

Thank you, Madeline!

I would have preferred a gate, keep the riff-raff out,

but anything to better our neighborhood, huh?

Right. See you Saturday, Carrie!

See you Saturday!

Off to work, Brad?

So, what's this job you're interviewing for?

Just, like, a part-time job at the coffee house

to help out my mom.

She says we're fine, but I...

Like, I know we're not.

OK, well, what about your dad? Can't he help out with anything?

Blair, my dad's been MIA for, like, 10 years.

I wouldn't do that to my mom.

Well, I think this whole thing sucks.

I know your mom.

She would never hit on some 25 year old

with a hard-on for politics.

No, there's no way.

I just wish I knew who did it.

Yeah.

Excuse me, ladies!

Do you mind keeping it down?

Daniel is such a light napper,

and he'll be cranky if he wakes up too soon.

Could she be any more annoying?

No, she treats that kid like he's God's gift

and she's Mother Theresa.

She made my mom take down all her birdhouses

'cause she didn't like that they were crapping on her deck.

- No. Seriously? - Yeah. Trust me.

She would lobby to ban birds from the neighborhood

if she could.

Hey! Let me drive you to your interview later

so that we can hang out longer.

Cool?

- OK. - OK.

Oh! Have you seen the meme of the dog and the vacuum?

You're gonna lose it. Look at this.

How good is that?

I seriously watched this, like, 100 times.

Maybe I'll come in and have an iced mocha

while you do your interview.

Yeah.

What the hell? What's going on?

Why are they towing my car?

Looked to me like the car was parked too close to the hydrant.

That, or somebody thought it was meant for the junk yard.

Are you serious?

My job interview! I'm gonna be so late.

Oh, I have to go. Blair, I'm so sorry!

I'll call you later! OK!

Carrie! Is everything all right? It's late!

Did your job interview go OK?

Blair's car got towed, so I was late.

Oh! I'm sorry, sweetie.

Excuse me! Do you mind not overpacking the bag?

Sorry.

I'm sure it was Mrs. Cooper who called.

The hydrant was in front of her house.

Does it matter who called?

No, no. Don't put the bread at the bottom.

Sorry.

Mom, seriously.

I can't do anything

without her shoving her nose in my business, our business!

Have a nice night!

Look, I know that she can be a busybody,

but she is our neighbor, OK?

We just have to tolerate her for now.

Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry. I...

I'm just venting. Oh, I'm sorry.

You shouldn't have to worry about getting a job so much.

Like you shouldn't be bagging groceries.

Hey, there is no shame in it, right?

I'm just doing what I have to do right now.

We both just have to make the best of it, OK?

Do you want to wait till my shift's over?

I can give you a ride home.

No, it's OK. I'm gonna take the bus.

OK...

Carrie...

Just remember, nobody is perfect,

no matter how green their grass is.

Did you see the urns out in front?

I thought they'd look perfect

if I added a little nightshade to them.

Oh, thank you.

Um, well, what did you do to the ones last year?

I liked those.

The hydrangeas?

Yeah, I could pot those instead.

You know, you should do whatever you like, Maddie.

You always make the place look great.

Oh, by the way, I have to fly to Chicago next week.

Mmm! Again?

Maddie, it's the job.

I know. It's just...

It's so quiet without you here.

Well, I'm sure you've got something going on,

I mean, some lobby or crusade.

Actually...

I'm seriously thinking about running for councilor

in this next election.

That way, I could lobby to have our little street gated,

something our neighbor pooh-poohed

when she was councilor.

Well, I think running is a fantastic idea.

I gotta take this. I'm sorry.

Mark, hey! Yeah, no, I got the email.

But, uh, a couple deal points were missing.

Yeah.

♪♪ When you go off the track ♪

♪ There's really nothing more to say ♪

♪ You've moved out now ♪♪

All right, Emma!

Now, when you're batting,

throw your bat over your shoulder,

bend your knees, swing all the way through.

OK?

Aim right here, in this general area.

You got this. Go.

I'll get it.

That was awesome.

That deserves a Popsicle. Mmm!

There you go, heavy hitter!

- Thanks! - Oh!

When did you get that?

I don't know.

OK, I'll go get something to clean it up.

I'm sorry.

I... I was just looking for a Band-Aid.

OK...

I'm sorry. I don't know how she did it.

Don't be sorry.

I appreciate the time you take with Emma.

So, here, take this. Think of it as a bonus.

See you when I get home!

- Bye, Mommy! - Be good!

Mm-hmm!

I can't believe you actually busted her.

I mean, how awkward was that?

Well, more for her than me.

Then, she, like, paid me off to forget about it.

Well, if I was a PTA mom,

I don't think I'd want people knowing I was a cokehead.

In fact, I bet she'd pay a lot more money than that

to keep it quiet.

So, what? I just ask her for more money?

No, tell her you raised your rates.

She'll get it.

It's just payback for all of those people

who were so quick to cast stones

and judge your mom.

Including her, I'm sure.

And I bet there's a lot more people like her

living in those pretty glass houses.

♪♪ I was a nice young girl ♪

♪ I was lost too much ♪

Hey, Mrs. Kelly! Need a hand?

Thanks, Carrie, but this is the last of it.

Well, I was just coming by to say thank you again

for your bonus yesterday.

I told you, Carrie.

We appreciate you. I know.

Which is great,

because I was gonna tell you that I raised my hourly rate,

you know, to help my mom.

And, I mean, I-I guess you could hire somebody cheaper,

but I doubt they would know you and your habits as well as I do.

Of course we wouldn't hire someone else.

Just let me know what your new rate is,

and I'll be happy to pay.

Great!

♪ I was a nice young girl ♪♪

You were so right. They totally went for it.

And so did the Pattersons!

What dirt do you have on them?

Just that Mr. Patterson pretends to go to work every day

because he doesn't want anyone on the street

to know he was fired for fraud.

No way! Seriously?

I found his termination papers when I was babysitting.

Wow! You are the boss.

I kind of am.

The only thing that would make this better

is if I could find something that'll tell me

who set my mom up,

because, you're right,

no one should judge when everyone has something to hide.

Madeline?

I'll be right down!

So, I suggested they buy the stock at six five.

Mm-hmm.

And they hesitated.

But then, I convinced them.

And now, it just sold just over ten.

Ah! Honey! That is so great.

They must have been so happy.

Yeah, I mean, I think so. They're booking a holiday.

You know, we should do that too.

Hmm.

Just go away for a night, just the two of us.

But who would look after Daniel?

Well, we'd find someone.

What about Carrie next door? She babysits, right?

She does. But overnight?

I don't know if I can trust him with someone for that long.

Oh, come on. You...

Other than nursery school, you never even leave him.

Hey, you've got a degree in marketing.

You're too smart for just baby talk.

I know.

Which is why I have formally

thrown my hat in the ring for councilor.

That should keep me busy, don't you think?

Cheers!

- Mmm. - Mmm!

Hello? This is she.

Right, I understand.

OK. I'll come by tomorrow.

Everything OK?

My mother is fighting her physio nurse.

They think she'd respond better with me there,

so looks like I'll need a sitter after all!

Oh.

Carrie! Come in.

Thanks.

You know, I think this is the first time

you've been in my home.

What do you think?

It's nice.

Nice?

You know, my house was featured in the Blythwood Post.

- Oh, that's great! - Thank you.

Can you believe I've never used a babysitter before?

I mean, Daniel goes to nursery school,

but that's different.

There are qualified ECE teachers watching him.

Now, on the fridge is my cell phone

and my mom's landline

and a list of dos and don'ts for Daniel.

Why don't you read it while I check on him?

Sure.

So, Daniel's still napping,

but there are two-way monitors in most rooms,

so you'll hear when he wakes up.

Now, I'll be gone for a few hours.

But if you're available, I'll need you at the same time

for the next couple of weeks.

- I'll be there! - Great!

Daniel's dinner is in the fridge. Don't overheat it.

Mom? It's me!

- Hey! - It's her, B.

That bitch next door,

she's the one that set up my mom.

- Are you sure? - Yes!

Why else would she have photos

of my mom and that douche who said she harassed him?

So, what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna keep babysitting

until I find everything I can.

And then I'm gonna throw a few stones of my own.

Daniel, sweetheart! Mommy's back!

Corn on the cob coming right up!

Oh, no! No! No, no!

He can't have sugar after 6:00!

Didn't you read the list?

Here, although I don't know what I'm paying for

if you can't take simple instruction.

Um, actually, Mrs. Cooper,

all the other neighbors pay me $20 an hour.

Carrie, you're lucky I'm not docking you

for the cost of fixing the dent in my car

when you were in charge of Emma.

Well, what about the towing cost

for my friend's car?

That was a safety hazard.

After all, what if it was your house that was burning down,

and the firefighters couldn't get to the hydrant,

and your poor mom had to watch

all that she has left go up in smoke?

Wouldn't that just be awful? After already losing so much.

I'll see you next week! Same time.

Mm-hmm.

And I can see monsieur there

is someone who likes his food very delicious.

It was her.

It's her fault you had to step down.

Now you can prove you were set up.

I mean, Carrie, these still... They don't prove anything.

How can you say that?

Why else would she have pictures of you with this guy?

She must have hired a detective or something

to take pictures and dig up dirt.

What if it was her? Hmm?

Well, what if it was someone else?

What if it was... Oh my God!

What if it was a conspiracy of people

trying to get me to step down?

Carrie, you're never gonna change people's views.

Because once you've been judged by the court of public opinion,

that's it!

It's over.

- I don't believe that. - Ah!

I know it was her.

And she should pay, just like you did.

Madeline!

Can I help you with something?

Actually, you can.

What is your experience with Carrie?

I mean, aside from her doing what I informed her not to do,

I almost feel like she's extorting me

with her babysitting rates.

I mean, $20 an hour? Do you pay that?

Madeline, what we pay Carrie is our business.

Personally, we feel you can't pay too high a price

for good childcare.

Oh! Well, I guess I wouldn't know.

I don't rely on other people to watch my child

as much as you do,

so I guess I'm just out of the babysitting loop.

- Mmm. - OK! Thanks!

- Hey! - Hey!

Did you fill my car up with gas?

Yeah. The Kellys raised my rate.

Hey! You know, I have the night off.

Do you wanna binge watch something like we used to?

Sure.

OK. I'll make popcorn.

OK.

See you down there.

Carrie, hi!

Ah! I'm sorry.

I meant to call you earlier,

but my day has just gotten away from me.

But I won't be needing you anymore.

Excuse me?

I need someone who follows instructions.

I went to a babysitting service.

I mean, they aren't cheap either,

but they're bonded and vetted, so I don't mind paying.

Yeah, it's just that I actually canceled

another babysitting job to make this work.

I'm sorry, but I... I already have someone here.

I'm sure you understand.

And there's a list on the fridge!

Whoo!

Hey, B.

You're not gonna believe

what the witch next door just pulled.

No, I'm coming over right now.

Daniel!

Daniel!

He's wearing a blue polo and beige overalls.

And he's carrying a train. He always has his toy train.

- Uh-huh. OK. - Thank you.

- John... - Hey.

I looked everywhere, the whole neighborhood,

the school, the park...

- I know. - I don't know where he is.

We'll find him, I promise.

- We have to! - I know!

I'm so sorry.

Get away from us!

Hey...

What's going on?

Daniel's wandered off somewhere.

What do you mean? How? Where was the babysitter?

Getting dinner or something. I don't know.

I'll help look for him.

Thank you. That'd be fantastic.

Yeah, no problem.

- I have to get inside. - No, OK. Yeah.

- Hey. - Hey.

Daniel!

Daniel!

Daniel!

Daniel!

Daniel!

Daniel!

Daniel?

Daniel!

Daniel!

Mama!

It's OK. It's OK, baby. It's OK.

You stay here. It's OK!

I saw the amber alert.

What time are your parents coming home?

I told you, later,

but I'm not worried about them catching us!

No one will catch us, OK?

Everyone's gonna think I'm a hero.

Then I'll have my way back in with the Coopers.

It's gonna be fine.

Well, I hope it was worth it.

OK.

- Mama! - Yeah!

Mama!

The gate was locked. I'm sure of it.

Unless that sitter opened it. She's such a stupid girl!

No, we'll find him.

- Oh my God! Daniel! - Daniel! Daniel!

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Daniel, baby! Oh, come here! Come here!

Where were you? Where did you go?

I know he loves trains.

I checked by the tracks, and he was there!

What do you mean? What was he doing?

He was playing with his train!

And no one saw him?

I guess not! I don't know.

Carrie, we can't tell you how grateful we are.

No. It's OK.

I... I'm just so glad we found him.

Listen, uh, the police,

they're probably gonna wanna speak to you, OK?

Yeah, yeah. I know.

- Thank you. Thank you again! - Yeah.

And... and believe me, from now on,

nobody takes care of our kid except for you, OK?

OK.

Hey, buddy!

Hey...

Hey.

You coming to bed?

Yeah.

I just wanted to check on him again.

Maddie, you're not gonna be able to watch him

for every minute of every day.

And now everyone is going to think

I'm like Vivian across the street,

neglectful of her child.

No.

No one's gonna think that.

And even if they do, who cares?

'Cause it's never gonna happen again.

We're gonna make sure he's always in the best hands.

Never.

I still can't believe she just found him.

Well, thankfully, she did.

Come to bed.

I will.

I promise. OK.

Now, don't forget, no sugar.

And don't let him out of your sight.

In fact, just... just stay in the house.

I've locked all the doors: the back door, the gate...

You have everything you need here, so...

We'll be fine. I promise.

Now, unfortunately,

I'll be at my mother's a little longer today.

I should be back no later than 10:00.

Uh, so, is Mr. Cooper around in case of emergency?

He's away on business.

And you're just gonna be at your mom's the whole time?

I'm only asking in case you want to throw another number

up there on the fridge.

If you need me, just call me on my cell.

Great.

Blair?

Yeah, I'm gonna need another favor.

Do you wanna try another cookie?

Do you want another cookie?

You already have two.

Mmm!

♪♪ When I was a kid I was a wit ♪

♪ So nobody wanted me around ♪

♪ My mom loved me My dad loved me ♪

♪ But I still felt like I needed a friend ♪

I'll be moving my mother into a home next week,

so the house needs to be put on the market ASAP.

I don't care what you sell it for,

'cause personally, I think this place should be condemned.

♪ I wanted you to be ♪♪

I'm sure you can understand why I can't stay long.

Oh, sweetheart,

don't make it sound like you're doing me a favor.

Madeline!

You know you wouldn't be where you are without me, huh?

Carrie...

Carrie?

There you are. How is he?

Asleep.

Good.

Anyway, I won't be needing you next week,

as my mom's being moved to a home, but thank you.

Actually, I don't think this will quite cover it.

I've paid your new rate, Carrie,

even if I do think it's extortion.

I think you owe me and my mom a lot more.

Really? And how is that?

I saw the photos you took of her.

So, you've been going through my things?

Good to know. What are you doing?

I hardly think you need to be paid for snooping.

- You set my mom up! - I did nothing of the sort.

But if someone did,

maybe they thought your mom wasn't doing a good enough job

for the neighborhood.

I mean, do you know the taxes we pay to live here?

My mom lost her job, people's respect.

You need to go now, Carrie.

I saw you with him.

What exactly did you see?

Doesn't matter.

'Cause we know that people are so quick to judge.

It most definitely matters, Carrie.

So, what did you see?

When did you see it?

And what does it prove?

Why aren't you answering me?

Is it because you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be?

Because leaving a child unattended is a crime.

Go home, Carrie.

I'm sure your husband would love to know

what you were up to.

Really?

And what's he gonna say to that,

when you have no evidence of any kind?

Besides, he's been screwing his assistant

for the last 3 years,

so I doubt he'd have much to say about it anyway.

You're done.

You miss me already?

Someone knows, Clark.

And everything you've done for me will have been for nothing

if it all comes out, so we're done.

Then you asked me for another $25,000.

So we're done when I say we're done.

So, how skanky was this lingerie?

Are we talking bondage style or...

Skanky enough.

I just wish I saw him.

Wow! That is some tacky bling he's got going on.

But it's not a wedding ring,

so he's less of a douche than she is.

Yeah, well, I wish I had gotten a photo of her,

and not this ugly ring.

I can't really do anything with this.

So, what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna get her the proof she wants.

Ugh! Well, good luck with that.

I doubt she's gonna let you into her home again.

No, she won't. But her husband will.

Hey!

Oh! Hey, neighbor!

Hey, listen, I've been meaning to pop over

and properly thank you for finding Daniel.

No, thank you, but I can't take that.

It means enough to know I'm your number-one sitter.

That's right! Because you found Daniel!

Sweetheart, what do you think of this as a campaign slogan?

"Cooper cares."

What campaign?

Oh, well, Maddie's running for councilor.

I mean, I'm sure she's spoken to your mother about it, right?

Actually, I haven't had the chance.

Don't worry. I'll let her know.

Hey, uh, Carrie, if you're free,

we have a retirement party tomorrow

And, uh, I mean, I'd love it if you could take care of Daniel.

- Of course. I'll see you then! - Great!

I un-I understand.

Yeah, if you could just give me 30 days,

then I could pay last month's taxes

and this month...

No, I can't tomorrow. I work.

Yeah. OK, bye.

- What was that about? - Oh, nothing, honey.

Just juggling some things.

You know, Mr. Cooper offered me money

for finding Daniel.

I could take it.

Well, if he does it again, you should.

You should keep it. You deserve it.

You know, Mrs. Cooper is running for councilor.

Maybe that was her plan all along.

Ah!

We just have to hope she doesn't win.

You know she's gonna do everything she can

to make sure she does.

So, do I have to attend this party?

Well, spouses are welcome, so, yeah, it'd be nice.

Ah, crap.

Hey, do we have a charge cord up here?

Should be one in the dresser.

Oh, hon, you know,

you really shouldn't have told Anna you were running.

I mean, despite the whole harassment debacle,

we still are neighbors.

Unfortunately.

So, how long are we expected to stay?

Oh, not too long. I wouldn't worry about it.

Carrie's proven to be reliable, certainly trustworthy.

Actually, I'm not so sure about that.

The night I went to see my mom,

she was clearly going through our things.

Well, were you worried she'd find this?

That was meant to be a surprise.

Well, it still could be, when you put it on.

Tonight?

Well then, it wouldn't be a surprise,

now would it?

So you're just gonna have to wait for it.

I tried knocking, but I figured this is where you would be.

What do you want?

I just want to know more

about how you found Daniel the other night.

It would give me peace of mind,

so I can make sure it doesn't happen again.

I told you, I found him by the tracks.

And what was he doing?

Playing, you know, with his train.

- On the ground? - Yeah.

In clear sight?

No, he was, um, he was behind these,

like, crates there.

Oh. That's amazing!

I mean, what a coincidence that you of all people

were able to find him so effortlessly.

Yeah, well, you know, Daniel and his train...

Just put two and two together.

That would make sense, wouldn't it?

So much, you wouldn't even question it,

except Daniel didn't have any dirt on his clothes.

Not a spot.

Which is odd, don't you think,

if he was playing on the ground?

I know how much you hate when he's dirty,

so I brushed him off for you.

How thoughtful of you.

Don't you have a party to get ready for?

See you at 6:00!

Oh, hey, uh, I should say hello.

OK.

Gentlemen... How are you doing?

Better not be on my bill.

Listen, you guys just keep it, you know...

All right.

That's back pay.

You remember Anita, my assistant, right?

Mm-hmm.

She would never forgive me if you didn't come say hello.

- Mmm. - All right?

Anita! Oh, it's been too long!

Madeline!

So good to see you!

Hide this, you bitch!

So, does Anita have any thoughts on retirement?

Oh, no, she says as long as she's still standing,

she's not retiring.

So, I don't have to worry

about some hot, young assistant anytime soon?

Hey, Maddie...

You don't have to worry about anyone.

I promise.

Is there anyone I should be worried about?

Mmm, of course not.

Good.

Mmm.

Hey, Carrie! Hey!

- How was everything? - Great!

Yeah? Good.

Listen, I know you said you couldn't just take it,

so, you know what?

Just consider it a bonus.

- Thank you, Mr. Cooper. - You're welcome.

Oh, and, um, Mrs. Cooper, I forgot to mention,

the other night, when you were out after your mom's

the motel called, said you left something in the room.

Yes, I retrieved it.

Thank you, Carrie. Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

Well, I think that you were right about Carrie!

Everything seems really great here!

Huh. When were you in a hotel?

Uh, I think that was when you were in Boston.

And what were you doing there exactly?

I was meeting with a campaign manager.

Fiona Scott?

She was Dwight's manager in Borel County.

She was passing through, and agreed to meet me!

Oh. And?

And, mmm...

Turns out our schedules don't really match.

But sounds like Daniel

is fast asleep, so...

So...

So, have you showed your mom yet?

No, she, uh, she already left for work

when I got up this morning, so...

But she's home now.

What's going on?

Blair, you should go home, OK?

Carrie will call you later.

OK.

Carrie, Mrs. Cooper would like to give you

an opportunity to explain your behavior.

What behavior?

Stealing, destroying personal property.

You installed security cameras?

Why would you do that?

I'd say it was necessary. Wouldn't you think?

Mrs. Cooper should come clean about what she did.

Carrie, that is not what this is about.

No, it is what this is about, Mom.

She wrote a check, Mom, for $25,000, to William Beck.

See?

She paid him off to say you harassed him!

I don't think it's a crime

to donate towards a young man's political ambitions,

but as far as what Carrie did,

I wouldn't be out of line to notify the police.

Madeline, that isn't going to be necessary.

I don't know. Is it?

Who's to say she hasn't violated our other neighbors

in the same way?

I have no problems with the other neighbors.

Well, I'd like to think that you're telling the truth,

but in case you aren't,

I'll agree not to go to the police,

as long as you agree to stop babysitting.

I use that money to help my mom,

and I wouldn't have to if it weren't for you.

Carrie, Carrie...

I don't think that Mrs. Cooper's request is unreasonable.

Of course, she will pay for the damage to your floors.

And I think that we can all agree

that nobody needs to know the circumstances

of why she stopped babysitting.

Of course.

I can understand why you wouldn't want another scandal

plaguing your house.

You are such a hypocrite!

- I'll walk you to the door. - Thank you.

Madeline!

We both know you don't give a damn

about that boy's ambitions.

So, let's call us even, OK?

Mom...

I was just trying to find something, and I did.

And now you can prove it was her!

Carrie, you have got to stop.

Because all you're doing now is sabotaging your own future.

So, you're not gonna do anything?

What do you want me to do?

I've told you that it isn't gonna make any difference.

So what else is there?

Do you want to move? Do you...

Do you want me to sell

the only thing that I have worth anything?

Because that isn't gonna help right now!

Don't you think that I want to rip her head off?

Because I didn't support her views on condos

and I didn't lobby for a stupid gate!

But then what?

She's still our neighbor.

Oh, Carrie, you have got to let this go!

Because the person that I saw on that video...

that is not you.

I can't say I'm surprised

that you're gonna run for council, Madeline.

You do so much for the community already.

Well, I think we can all agree we want our kids to grow up

in the best neighborhood in the city.

Mmm!

Speaking of which, I caught our neighborhood sitter, Carrie,

snooping in my house.

Thankfully, I don't have any secrets to hide.

Not like you.

What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, Vivian.

You don't think I notice

that strange car that pulls up to your house every week,

by a driver whom you never welcome inside?

I mean, I'm not surprised, based on his appearance.

Although, you do seem very happy to give him cash,

in exchange for, what, pills?

Coke?

I'm gonna go with cocaine,

based on how dilated your pupils are.

Your accusations are offensive, Madeline.

Really?

Is the reason you pay Carrie so much

because she found something when she was watching Emma?

If you tell me,

I'd be less inclined to voice my concerns with your husband.

It's not something I'm proud of, Madeline.

Of course not.

Is that all Carrie wanted from you? Money?

I think so.

You're not gonna tell David, are you?

I mean, I'm trying to get a handle on it.

Just clean up your act, Vivian.

'Cause I don't pay the taxes I do to live across the street

from a junkie who brings trash into my neighborhood.

And if it's not taken care of by the time I run for council,

Child Services may just be getting a call.

Hey, Mr. Cooper!

How's Daniel?

He's fine, Carrie, despite us putting our trust in you.

Hey, I'm sorry about what I did.

I was just upset with Mrs. Cooper

for what she did to my mom,

and now what she's doing to you.

Are you talking about the affair, Carrie?

Because she told me all about it,

about how you tried to extort money from her and the neighbors

with your lies.

So you could get, what, $20 an hour?

I didn't make it up, any of it. I swear!

She paid off that campaign worker $25,000.

Enough, Carrie.

The lingerie she was wearing the other night,

she wore it at the motel.

Just ask her.

It's catchy, don't you think?

And pretty soon, they'll be everywhere.

Oh, I think I just heard a car pull up.

- Hey, John! How are you? - Good!

And where is that future councilor?

There she is!

Love the sign,

but, uh, that smile, so much better in person!

Happy birthday, Clark! It's nice to see you.

Well, what?

No birthday hug from the prettiest girl I know?

Next to your mom, of course.

She was the most beautiful woman in the room.

How are you, Clark?

Good. Feeling like a young lad these days.

John, do you want to get a Clark a drink?

And I'm gonna go check on Daniel.

What can I get you?

So, how's business?

Profits are the best they've ever been!

At this rate,

I won't be able to spend it all

before I'm six feet under.

Although I do my best to spread the wealth around.

You should get remarried.

That way, you could have a partner to keep you company

and help spend your money.

Is that what Madeline does, John?

Spend your money?

Actually, she'll be too busy when she wins the election.

Yeah, well, careful what you wish for.

I sure as hell don't know

if I'd want to get into politics these days.

Oh yeah? Why's that?

The dirt that they dig up...

I mean, whether it's true or not, you know,

it can ruin you before you even run.

Yeah, well, we've already had a bit of practice

in that department, haven't we?

Really? What about?

Just a neighbor who tried to extort

abhorrently high babysitting rates by telling lies.

Oh, sounds like a great entrepreneur!

Maybe I should give her a job.

Figures you'd see it that way.

You done with that?

Well, that was a splendid evening!

I couldn't have thought of a better way

to spend my birthday!

Well, we were glad to have you.

Well, let's not leave it so long next time, huh?

Carrie...

Can we help you?

I was just wondering if you got a new car.

She's a beauty, huh?

Even though she does kind of chew through my wallet in gas.

Ah, who cares if it makes a statement?

Oh, let me guess. The entrepreneur, right?

Mmm. I should go check on Daniel.

Are you sure you're OK to drive?

Are you kidding?

A couple of drinks aren't enough

to bring this guy down.

Huh? You didn't hear that!

Anyway, give that little spitfire a kiss from Grandpa!

Mmm.

Who's texting you so late?

Just a reminder to look at my campaign page

before it goes live.

Oh. OK.

Um, do you want me to get these?

No, I got it.

I'll come up to bed as soon as I'm done down here.

- OK. - OK.

I'm going up.

- Good night. - Night.

Thank you.

So, when did you say you were leaving

for your conference again?

Tomorrow, why?

I just wanted to make sure I had it right in the calendar.

Ah, OK. Well, hey! Uh, see you later.

- Oh. Bye, sweetie! - Bye!

Great!

Now you can make plans with your father-in-law.

He could even come here,

or would that be too weird,

you know, doing it in your stepson's bed?

Carrie, keep this up,

and we will file defamation charges.

The night I saw you,

I saw his big, ugly ruby-red ring

on his fat old-man finger,

and I have the photos to prove it.

Your photos prove nothing.

They may. They may not.

I wouldn't test it, though, if I were you.

'Cause wouldn't that be a scandal?

One that I doubt Mr. Cooper or your voters

would ever forgive you for.

Coming, Daniel!

Oh! Ah! Oh!

Her father-in-law?

Ew! That is so gross.

I know, right?

What is he, like, her sugar daddy or something?

The money she used to pay off that liar

had to come from somewhere.

And it's not like she has it.

I mean, you should see where her mom lives.

Total skidsville.

I bet she used him to get out of there.

Looks like Little Miss Perfect isn't so perfect after all.

Hardly.

And I'm gonna use this to totally screw with her.

Are you sure, Care?

Your mom knows what happened.

Maybe you should let her deal with this on her own.

My mom's not gonna do anything.

So it's all up to me.

Sorry, honey. I won't be home until the morning, OK?

Why?

Oh, I'm just working a double.

Do you have to?

Just for now.

- OK. - Yeah.

Uh, oh, there's, uh, frozen pizza for dinner, OK?

I'll see you in the morning?

- OK. I love you. - I love you.

Hello?

What was that?

Yes!

Uh-huh. I would love to do a press interview via video.

When... Next week?

That would be great.

Thank you!

♪♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I keep her around for a purpose ♪

♪ When she around, you get nervous ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I keep her around for a purpose ♪

Carrie, could you please turn down the music?

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

Ah! What is it, Carrie?

What exactly are you after?

Huh? Is it money?

You know, a little extra babysitting money

would be nice to help my mom.

But then I learned that you're the reason why we're struggling.

I guess I could try to extort more money from you,

but honestly,

I'd rather you know what it's been like for my mom,

to have everyone look at you,

lose respect for you, shame you.

No one's ever gonna believe you, Carrie.

And when I'm elected councilor,

I will do everything in my power

to get rid of trash like you and your mother

from my neighborhood.

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I keep her around for a purpose ♪

♪ When she around, you get nervous ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I thought I was bad She worse ♪

♪ I keep her around for a purpose ♪

Hey, sweetheart! How are the meetings?

Interesting.

Really? How... how so?

You know what?

Let's just talk about it when I get back, OK?

Anything I should be concerned about or...

I don't know.

What's going on over there? I hear Daniel.

It's that girl next door.

Her... her music's keeping Daniel up.

And, of course, her mother isn't home, so...

Right. Look, I gotta go.

Uh, I'll see you Thursday night, OK?

- Bye, sweetheart! - Bye.

♪ I keep her around for a purpose ♪♪

Come here, honey!

You know Mommy doesn't like it when everyone hears you crying.

I mean, we don't want people thinking I'm a bad mommy!

No, do you? OK, Daniel, please.

Please, stop crying, sweetie. Stop crying, sweetie.

Please, just stop it. I mean, that's enough.

Just stop it. Just stop it! Stop it!

♪♪ I was right under the nose like a moustache ♪

♪ I move crowds a new sound ♪

♪ Leave them all speechless then the hush happens ♪

♪ Shhh ♪

What?

♪ Saw the top tier list when I read through it ♪

♪ That ass, would you make some changes ♪

♪ I'd put red to it Cross the bunch out ♪

♪ The rest put an X through it ♪

♪ It's not ill if my name ain't next to it ♪

♪ They said you gotta do it ♪

♪ Gotta flow loose, ooh, ooh ♪

Carrie!

Carrie!

♪ Hey yo ♪

♪ Ain't a snake in the grass ♪

♪ And this ain't hip-hop ♪♪

What are you doing?

I tried calling you,

but of course, you couldn't hear me.

So, you entered through my back door without me knowing

and looked through my phone?

Mmm...

Daniel hasn't slept all day.

And your music...

You're lucky that one of the other neighbors

didn't call the police.

Really? 'Cause I did.

- Why? - I was scared, Madeline.

Someone was in my house that shouldn't have been here!

You're being ridiculous, Carrie.

That's why I grabbed this.

I thought you were an intruder.

I hardly think calling the police was necessary.

Oh. Like, how you threatened to call the police on me?

You'll be lucky if they don't arrest you.

I'm sure once I speak to the police and explain that...

That you entered through my back door

while I was home alone at night?

I mean, I was terrified when I heard you.

I thought you were gonna kill me.

Guess this is just another thing you're gonna have

to explain to Mr. Cooper.

By the way,

I have plenty of copies of those photos you deleted.

You know, the ones that prove nothing.

I'm sorry, officer.

I didn't mean to make this such a big deal.

I was just scared.

Well, you did the right thing by calling us.

And, obviously, it was a misunderstanding.

I'm just glad I didn't accidentally hurt Mrs. Cooper.

I guess that's why you don't enter

into people's houses without them knowing.

Just remember to keep your doors locked at all times.

I will, thank you. Good night!

Um, officer. Sorry, um...

Will there be any report of this?

You see, I'm running for councilor,

and even a misunderstanding like this could be a problem

if my opponents got ahold of it.

Well, there will be a report. But no charges were laid.

And the report will state our names?

- It does. - Oh. OK.

But I'm sure you don't have to worry.

Oh. Then you don't understand politics.

Thank you so much!

Hello?

Hi there! This is Gary Ross, your local realtor.

I hear you're looking to sell your home.

Actually, I'm... I'm not. Where did you hear that from?

Uh, one of your neighbors, who was obviously misinformed.

But if you change your mind...

OK, thanks. Bye.

What gives you the right, Madeline?

I just got a call from Gary Ross,

who told me that you told him

that I want to list my house.

I thought it would help you.

I mean, I see you're struggling

And I hear it's a great time to sell.

You could get well over asking.

I'm struggling, Madeline, because of you.

Because God forbid anybody around here does something

that you don't like,

doesn't mow their lawn or pick up after their dog.

And what was it you didn't like that I didn't support?

That you wanted to put a gate at the end of the street?

It would give the neighborhood prestige.

Who wouldn't want that?

And when I'm elected, I'll make sure that it happens.

Well, I mean, if you are gonna make it

so prestigious around here,

my house value should only go up!

I mean, why on earth would I want to sell now?

Maybe because of all the press

that's gonna be around once my campaign kicks in?

I'm sure they'll be very curious

what my disgraced neighbor has been up to.

But if you want to stick around, stay.

Is everything OK?

It is now.

Vivian, what is it?

It's your car.

Did you see who did this?

No. David and I noticed when he left for work.

Why do you think someone would do this?

How the hell would I know?

Is that why the police were here the other night?

I told you, you bring riff-raff into our neighborhood,

and this is exactly what happens.

Make sure you don't scratch it.

Or she'll make you pay.

How did you explain this to all the other neighbors?

Must have been pretty embarrassing.

I have security cameras outside

that'll show me if you did this, Carrie.

Yeah, I figured.

Hope you didn't have anywhere important to go.

This time, I will call the police.

Maybe we should think about moving.

I mean, obviously,

the neighborhood is going to crap with all the vandals

and everything else going on.

You can't be serious, Madeline.

This street is your life.

You're running for councilor, for goodness sakes!

Yeah, well, I don't even think as councilor,

I could turn this around.

Where is this coming from?

I told you!

No, I know what you told me, Madeline!

Does this have something to do with Carrie next door?

Of course not.

She's just a manipulative teenager.

You know, I... I found out that Brad Patterson,

he was let go.

His name came up during my meetings,

and, uh, turns out,

no one wants to hire him because of the fraud charge.

So she wasn't lying about that.

Well, she was lying about everything else.

And you know what?

I even think she was lying about finding Daniel.

You know, Maddie, it's starting to sound like

you're the one who's making the accusations.

I mean, maybe Vivian Kelly does have a drug problem.

And Carrie would be the one to know,

being there babysitting all the time.

Just like here, come to think of it.

I can't believe we're having this conversation.

You should have seen it, B.

The neighbor across the street came to watch,

and then all the others came.

Thought she was gonna have a mental breakdown

right then and there.

Why don't you just get her

to like, buy you a new car or something?

Call it a day?

And miss out on all this fun? No way!

Let's go get our polish so we can do our toes.

OK.

I think I'm gonna do hot pink for the summer.

That would be cute! Or, like, yellow.

Yeah, I'll put in the bid right away.

You got it, Ron. Bye.

Mrs. Cooper, are you still there?

I am!

Perfect! We're gonna go live in ten seconds.

Great!

So, how far are you gonna go with all this?

Until she's knocked down off her pedestal.

Or until she moves.

As a ten-year resident of the community,

I know what makes Blythwood District so special.

Well, what if she doesn't?

I mean, come on, Carrie,

you can't keep going on like this forever.

Now you just sound like my mom.

Let's do our toes in Lit.

It's the people, good, honest people,

who work hard to pay their taxes

and deserve an honest voice to represent them in city hall.

I'll meet you downstairs.

I'm gonna put my bathing suit on.

OK.

One who would never compromise

the safety of our streets

and who knows what it means to live in a neighborhood

where our children can safely play and grow up,

where neighbors look out for one another.

Because in Blythwood District, we care.

Madeline Cooper cares.

Blair!

Hi. Um, I'd like to report an emergency.

Um, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah, Mom, I'll meet you there.

OK.

I don't understand how the extension cord got in there.

I mean, it could have been the wind.

Blair could have knocked it in herself without knowing it.

Mom, I...

What?

I've learned things about Mrs. Cooper,

not what she did to you.

And, uh, I've been using them to get back at her.

What do you... What do you mean? What things?

She's having an affair with Mr. Cooper's stepfather.

And you know this for a fact?

I wouldn't say it if I didn't.

Mom, we know she's all about appearances.

Look what she did to you. I mean, do you think...

You're right about who Madeline is.

But, honey, what happened to Blair,

that was an accident.

Are you sure?

I don't doubt that Madeline paid off that campaign worker.

OK? But she would never do something like this.

I mean, just to cover up an affair?

Because all Madeline is is a bored housewife

with nothing better to do.

OK?

Come on. Let's go inside.

OK.

I'll meet you in there.

OK.

Carrie? Hey...

Do you have a second?

I'm sorry about your friend.

What do you know about my wife's affair?

Um...

I'm sorry, Mr. Cooper.

Thank you.

Hey, you!

I just made a batch of iced tea.

I can make you a Long Island,

and we could go have dinner on the back deck.

What do you say?

Is he mine?

Is Daniel my boy?

What are you talking about?

Of course he's your boy!

Here, try this. Tell me if it needs more sugar.

'Cause the doctors said it was me, not you.

That's... that's why we couldn't get pregnant.

I know.

Sweetie, that's why he said it was a miracle that it happened.

And sometimes, they do happen to good people like us.

Mmm!

Yeah, it needs a touch more sugar.

I don't get it. I don't get it.

How... how could you do this, Madeline?

With him of all people?

John...

Have you been talking to that girl next door?

Because I think we need to file charges.

Everything she's said about the neighbors,

everything she's said has been true, Madeline,

and you know it.

I mean, come on, you're the best neighborhood watch on the block!

But you didn't count on someone watching you, now, did you?

She's a liar, John.

She's a 17-year-old lying little bitch

who gets what she wants by manipulating and distorting...

I can't get you pregnant, Madeline!

- I, uh... - We... We tried.

And then we tried again and again.

And then your miracle happened.

I... I know!

And I wanted to believe.

God, I wanted to believe

that we were that... We were that lucky couple.

So I didn't question it. Why would I question it?

Why would I question my wife,

who I wanted to see happy

more than anything in the whole world?

Honey, I...

We're not that lucky couple, are we?

And I... God, I was so blind.

But now...

God!

I just... I never thought the truth would be so ugly.

John, he's your son.

Stop.

He is Clark's son. Not mine.

John!

Of course he's your son! You were there when he was born.

He... You were...

You held him all night when he got his first tooth.

He has your real father's name.

Yeah, but he doesn't have any of my DNA, does he? Hmm?

Well, come on, Madeline! It'd be real easy to find out!

You don't understand, John! Listen, listen, listen, listen!

Sweetheart, Clark is everything you know he is:

a selfish narcissist who needs his ego stroked,

and he wouldn't let me go.

He is my stepfather!

Why?

Look at me.

Why?

Tell me why. Why him?

I swear, I swear to God,

I met him before I met you, before college.

I needed a way out of my life.

I needed a way out of that house.

That house, that street, I had to go.

And I couldn't do it, not without a mountain of debt.

Oh my... He was your sugar daddy?

No, no, he... Listen, he helped me, John.

He paid for everything, and I started fresh.

And then I met you... And then I met you.

And then when I realized who he was... And I tried.

I mean, I tried so hard to end it,

but then he threatened to tell you.

I didn't know what to do anymore.

Oh, I see. You tried so hard, huh?

You tried so hard you had to go back to him for more money

so you could push your own agenda?

No! No, John, listen. Please!

We can fix this. No!

We can fix this. I know we can. Listen to me!

Listen to me!

John, please!

You...

You little bitch!

Oh!

Why couldn't it have been you in that pool?

I mean, every damn day, you're out there!

What the hell is going on?

She slapped her. I saw it.

What gives you the right to think you can touch my daughter?

Oh! You, really? You're gonna judge me.

Really? Oh, and you.

Oh, all of you, please! Please!

I'm the one who watches your houses.

I'm the one that keeps our property values high.

Who makes this street safe for our kids every single day?

Me! I do it!

You just stay in your houses with your dirty little secrets

while I have to come out here every day

and keep this street clean.

I mean, why is it so hard

to pull your damn weeds?

Hey?

You're just spreading,

spreading your bad seed everywhere.

There.

Now it's perfect.

Remember why I do this.

It's because Cooper cares.

Hey! How did it go?

Well, I guess it's like they say:

You're old news when there's good news,

'cause I got the job.

Mmm!

I mean, it's only entry level, but there's room to grow.

Oh, that's so great, Mom!

Listen, our new neighbors have arrived.

You should go say hi.

Yeah.

OK. Go.

Hey!

I'm Carrie. I live next door.

Oh! Nice to meet you, Carrie!

I'm Jenny. This is my husband, Peter.

- Hi! And who's this? - This is Jessica!

- She's so cute! - Oh, thank you.

Well, welcome to the neighborhood.

And if you ever need a babysitter,

just knock on my door.

♪♪ I was a nice young girl ♪

♪ I was lost too much ♪

♪ I was a nice young girl ♪

♪ I had hope ♪

♪ Too much ♪

♪ I was a teenager ♪

♪ I was a teenager ♪

♪ You could be ♪

♪ In love ♪

♪ I was a teenager ♪

Closed Captions: MELS