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1
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♪[Walking on sunshine by
Katrina and the waves playing]♪
2
00:00:46,512 --> 00:00:47,582
♪ Ow! ♪
3
00:00:51,849 --> 00:00:55,318
♪ hmm, yeah ♪
4
00:00:55,319 --> 00:00:58,649
♪ I used to think
maybe you love me ♪
5
00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:01,355
♪ now, baby, I'm sure ♪
6
00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:06,927
♪ and I just can't wait
till the day ♪
7
00:01:06,928 --> 00:01:10,198
♪ when you knock on my door ♪
8
00:01:12,966 --> 00:01:16,266
♪ now every time
I go for the mailbox ♪
9
00:01:16,269 --> 00:01:18,939
♪ gotta hold myself down ♪
10
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:25,236
♪ 'cause I just can't wait
till you write me ♪
11
00:01:25,709 --> 00:01:27,379
[urinating]
12
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,547
[Flushing]
13
00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:33,778
♪ All right now ♪
14
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:35,552
♪ and don't it feel good ♪
15
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:36,650
♪ hey ♪
16
00:01:36,651 --> 00:01:37,651
♪ yeah ♪
17
00:01:39,487 --> 00:01:42,517
♪ I used to think
maybe you love me ♪
18
00:01:42,523 --> 00:01:45,163
♪ now I know that it's true ♪
19
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,660
♪ I don't want to spend
my whole life ♪
20
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:53,932
♪ just a-waitin' for you ♪
21
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:59,933
♪ now I don't want you back
for the weekend ♪
22
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:02,666
♪ not back for a day ♪
23
00:02:03,205 --> 00:02:05,435
♪ Na, no, no ♪
24
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,140
♪ I said, baby, I just
want you back ♪
25
00:02:08,142 --> 00:02:11,911
♪ and I want you to stay ♪
26
00:02:11,912 --> 00:02:15,712
♪ oh, yeah,
I'm walkin' on sunshine ♪
27
00:02:15,715 --> 00:02:17,405
♪ whoa-oh ♪
28
00:02:17,416 --> 00:02:20,116
♪ I'm walkin' on sunshine ♪
29
00:02:20,118 --> 00:02:21,778
♪ whoa-oh ♪
30
00:02:21,786 --> 00:02:24,346
♪ I'm walkin' on sunshine ♪
31
00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:25,785
♪ whoa-oh ♪%
32
00:02:25,789 --> 00:02:28,257
Good morning, daddy.
33
00:02:28,258 --> 00:02:31,258
Hey, hey. Ben,
how you doing, man?
34
00:02:32,427 --> 00:02:33,587
Oh!
35
00:02:34,461 --> 00:02:35,791
Oh, God.
36
00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:39,756
Oh! Daddy's got
to get ready for work.
37
00:02:39,765 --> 00:02:41,625
Can't you stay home?
38
00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:44,803
No. I got a big day
at work today. Real big day.
39
00:02:46,970 --> 00:02:48,100
Kim.
40
00:02:48,938 --> 00:02:50,398
Where's my cell phone?
41
00:02:50,406 --> 00:02:51,866
It's with my crayons.
42
00:02:51,874 --> 00:02:54,574
It's not supposed
to be with the crayons.
43
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,109
There you go, sweetie.
44
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,083
OK, now, where's my beeper?
Has anybody seen my beeper?
45
00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:04,649
[Dialing]
46
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:06,280
[Beeper ringing]
47
00:03:12,522 --> 00:03:14,152
Oh, here it is.
48
00:03:14,156 --> 00:03:17,516
Right by the grape juice.
I wonder how it got there.
49
00:03:17,526 --> 00:03:21,256
Are those my note cards that
I've been working all night on?
50
00:03:21,263 --> 00:03:24,703
I've been up all night and now
they're... now they're all sticky.
51
00:03:25,399 --> 00:03:26,459
Sorry, baby.
52
00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:27,866
Yeah.
53
00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,197
Yeah..
54
00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:31,671
Yeah, I'll see you later.
55
00:03:32,771 --> 00:03:35,301
Oh, oh, don't forget
about the orientation today.
56
00:03:35,306 --> 00:03:36,466
The what?
57
00:03:36,473 --> 00:03:38,873
Chapman academy?
The preschool?
58
00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:40,665
Oh, OK.
Yeah, yeah, right. OK.
59
00:03:40,676 --> 00:03:43,206
Is there any way
we could reschedule that?
60
00:03:44,478 --> 00:03:46,338
Oh, you know, maybe we
shouldn't reschedule that.
61
00:03:46,346 --> 00:03:49,576
Maybe we should take care of
business and be responsible parents.
62
00:03:49,582 --> 00:03:50,782
Don't worry.
63
00:03:50,783 --> 00:03:51,816
Don't be late.
64
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:52,947
I will not be late.
65
00:03:52,951 --> 00:03:54,221
Promise?
66
00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:56,578
I won't be late.
67
00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,020
OK, see you later.
68
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,289
Hey, did he promise?
69
00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:03,760
He sure did.
70
00:04:05,526 --> 00:04:07,386
Hey, what's going on?
71
00:04:07,961 --> 00:04:09,891
Your worst nightmare.
72
00:04:09,896 --> 00:04:10,996
What?
73
00:04:10,997 --> 00:04:13,297
Mr. broccoli's a no-show.
74
00:04:13,299 --> 00:04:16,169
He got a call-back
on a potato chip commercial.
75
00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:18,098
These snack foods
are killin' us!
76
00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:19,937
Yeah, I know.
77
00:04:19,938 --> 00:04:21,268
Marvin!
78
00:04:21,272 --> 00:04:22,272
Yeah?
79
00:04:22,273 --> 00:04:23,706
(Phil)
Marvin.
80
00:04:23,707 --> 00:04:25,267
The guy who smells the mail?
81
00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:26,735
[Sniffing]
82
00:04:26,743 --> 00:04:29,043
Look, we need a guy to wear a
broccoli suit, not a normal person.
83
00:04:29,045 --> 00:04:30,775
Marvin, my man!
84
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:33,780
My friend, Marvin. Hey, man, what's goin'
on today? Listen, I need a little favor.
85
00:04:33,783 --> 00:04:35,617
We're having a little
focus group in here,
86
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:37,818
and the guy who's supposed
to wear broccoli suit, left.
87
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,120
I was wondering if you'd put
the suit on and cover for us?
88
00:04:40,122 --> 00:04:41,222
[Laughing]
No.
89
00:04:42,691 --> 00:04:46,061
Oh, I can't do the broccoli
because it's just not me. Sorry.
90
00:04:47,694 --> 00:04:50,294
Hey, can I be the carrot,
though?
91
00:04:50,296 --> 00:04:52,126
Yeah, yeah,
you could be the carrot.
92
00:04:52,131 --> 00:04:53,661
Let him try
no. R carrot on.
93
00:04:53,665 --> 00:04:54,925
Yeah, you can be the broccoli.
94
00:04:54,932 --> 00:04:56,562
No, I don't want to be a bush.
95
00:04:56,566 --> 00:04:59,896
It's not a bush, it's a stalk of broccoli.
It's a strong stalk of broccoli.
96
00:04:59,902 --> 00:05:01,432
Yeah, I'm pretty strong.
97
00:05:01,436 --> 00:05:02,966
Yeah, you can make that work.
98
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,400
Go in here and go and switch this
suit on, and get the broccoli.
99
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,565
Trust me on this.
OK, let's go.
100
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:10,608
♪ B-r-o-c-c-o-l-i! ♪
101
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:13,409
♪ I am the broccoli
and don't know why! ♪
102
00:05:13,411 --> 00:05:16,211
♪ C-a-r-r-o and a "t"! ♪
103
00:05:16,213 --> 00:05:19,213
♪ Carrots are healthy
for you and me! ♪
104
00:05:19,216 --> 00:05:22,676
[♪ Oh-oh-oh! ♪ Playing]
105
00:05:22,685 --> 00:05:25,785
♪ Oh-oh-oh! ♪
106
00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:27,948
♪ Oh-oh ♪
107
00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:30,586
♪ You want to do the dance? Go,
broccoli, it's your birthday! ♪
108
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,260
♪ Go, broccoli,
it's your birthday! ♪
109
00:05:32,261 --> 00:05:34,128
♪ Go, carrot,
go, carrot, go! ♪%
110
00:05:34,129 --> 00:05:35,227
no, I don't want to.
111
00:05:35,228 --> 00:05:37,796
Hello, boys and girls!
112
00:05:37,797 --> 00:05:40,957
Zowie! Do we have a special
treat for you today!
113
00:05:42,434 --> 00:05:45,602
"Hey! We have
a brand-new cereal!
114
00:05:45,603 --> 00:05:47,543
You're the first kid..."
115
00:05:48,105 --> 00:05:49,165
Help!
116
00:05:49,172 --> 00:05:50,772
Ugh!
117
00:05:50,773 --> 00:05:53,407
It's super yummy.
And loaded...
118
00:05:53,408 --> 00:05:54,708
Phil, help me, ahhh!
119
00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:57,439
With all sorts of stuff
that's good for you.
120
00:05:57,445 --> 00:05:59,305
And do you know what we call it?
121
00:05:59,313 --> 00:06:02,081
Veggie-o's!
122
00:06:02,082 --> 00:06:04,616
[Children gagging]
123
00:06:04,617 --> 00:06:06,917
(Boy 1)
This cereal sucks!
124
00:06:06,919 --> 00:06:08,419
They're turning on us.
125
00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:11,090
Give it a chance. Let it get in
their mouth. They got to taste it.
126
00:06:11,091 --> 00:06:12,389
[Kids chattering]
127
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:13,420
No, no.
128
00:06:13,424 --> 00:06:14,964
Take that!
129
00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:18,225
[All screaming]
130
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:19,827
(Marvin)
Help me, Charlie!
131
00:06:19,828 --> 00:06:22,828
Not in the face!
Save yourself, carrot!
132
00:06:22,831 --> 00:06:25,501
Call security now. Oh, sh...
hey, oh, hey, stop that!
133
00:06:29,036 --> 00:06:31,136
I guess we better go in, pooch.
134
00:06:31,138 --> 00:06:33,706
Your daddy will come
a little later.
135
00:06:33,707 --> 00:06:35,237
Come here, let me see you.
136
00:06:41,913 --> 00:06:43,380
Hey!
137
00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:45,781
I am so sorry, baby.
I am sorry.
138
00:06:45,783 --> 00:06:48,953
Things got crazy at work.
Hey, what's going on, man?
139
00:06:48,954 --> 00:06:51,490
Look at this place. This is
Princeton for preschoolers.
140
00:06:51,491 --> 00:06:54,047
Let's just hurry up, so we won't
be late for the orientation.
141
00:06:54,056 --> 00:06:55,616
Hey, what's the
orientation about?
142
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,594
It's a preschool, they're gonna
be playing with blocks, right?
143
00:06:57,595 --> 00:06:58,922
Yeah.
144
00:06:58,926 --> 00:07:00,726
[Counting in German]
145
00:07:06,832 --> 00:07:08,732
Unbelievable.
146
00:07:08,733 --> 00:07:12,371
Language skills are a critical
component here at Chapman.
147
00:07:12,372 --> 00:07:14,499
They're part
of our core curriculum.
148
00:07:14,504 --> 00:07:15,871
You must be Charles.
149
00:07:15,872 --> 00:07:17,872
Oh, please call me Charlie.
Nice to meet you.
150
00:07:17,874 --> 00:07:18,874
How do you do?
151
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,035
Hi! She's my wife, Kim.
152
00:07:20,042 --> 00:07:23,042
Kimberly. I'm miss harridan,
the headmistress.
153
00:07:23,045 --> 00:07:24,705
And this is Ben.
154
00:07:24,713 --> 00:07:27,281
Well, how do you do, Benjamin?
155
00:07:27,282 --> 00:07:28,751
Oh, come on, little man.
156
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,620
It's a pleasure to meet you.
157
00:07:31,085 --> 00:07:32,975
Shall we begin?
158
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,686
Look at their little outfits.
I like that.
159
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,647
They're cute.
160
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:40,386
We find uniforms reinforce
the sense of structure.
161
00:07:40,392 --> 00:07:42,692
Oh, yes, structure's good.
162
00:07:42,694 --> 00:07:46,363
Our philosophy is that a child
is like a climbing vine.
163
00:07:46,364 --> 00:07:50,133
With structure to cling to, and
the right gardener to tend them,
164
00:07:50,134 --> 00:07:52,502
they'll grow to the sky.
165
00:07:52,503 --> 00:07:53,603
[Cell phone ringing]
166
00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:54,770
Sorry.
167
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:56,538
So, Mrs. Hinton,
168
00:07:56,539 --> 00:07:59,039
you're returning to work?
169
00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:01,241
Lawyer,
I believe your file said.
170
00:08:01,243 --> 00:08:04,183
Uh, yeah, actually,
I haven't practiced yet.
171
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:07,309
We just had Ben
when I finished law school.
172
00:08:07,315 --> 00:08:09,615
Still a little nervous
about leaving him.
173
00:08:09,617 --> 00:08:13,086
Oh, all mothers are.
But you needn't worry.
174
00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:16,047
Our little seedlings
are in very good hands.
175
00:08:17,157 --> 00:08:18,387
Turn the darn phone off.
176
00:08:18,391 --> 00:08:19,561
It's off, it's off.
177
00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:21,418
(All)
And attack!
178
00:08:21,426 --> 00:08:23,286
Now mark your books, number 5.
179
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,529
Cat is to mouse as frog is to...
180
00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:28,797
Are they doing S.A.T. Prep?
181
00:08:28,798 --> 00:08:31,428
It's never too early to start.
182
00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:32,403
(Kids)
Nest.
183
00:08:32,404 --> 00:08:34,000
(Teacher)
That's right. Nest.
184
00:08:34,935 --> 00:08:36,595
[Cell phone ringing]
185
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,403
I thought you turned
your cell phone off.
186
00:08:38,404 --> 00:08:41,004
It's not my cell phone,
it's my 2-way.
187
00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:44,871
Oh, no. This is bad.
188
00:08:45,243 --> 00:08:46,576
[Sighs]
189
00:08:46,577 --> 00:08:47,907
Go ahead.
190
00:08:47,911 --> 00:08:49,441
OK. Thank you, baby.
191
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,005
Um,
192
00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:53,953
I am terribly sorry. I have an emergency
at work, and I gotta get going.
193
00:08:53,954 --> 00:08:55,149
I understand.
194
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:56,350
I'm sorry.
195
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:57,781
Hey, little man.
196
00:08:57,785 --> 00:09:00,815
Daddy's got to get going, but
I'm gonna see you later on, OK?
197
00:09:00,821 --> 00:09:02,190
You want to do the rocket ship?
198
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:03,889
Yeah, come,
let's do the rocket ship.
199
00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:05,460
[Roaring]
200
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,067
Sorry about all the noise.
201
00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:18,928
Here you go.
Go to mommy.
202
00:09:18,936 --> 00:09:22,636
I'll see you later.
Thank you for your time.
203
00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:25,509
I'm so sorry. He's trying
out a new product at work.
204
00:09:25,510 --> 00:09:28,338
Hmm, well, no need to apologize.
205
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:30,878
Diligence always sets
a fine example.
206
00:09:30,879 --> 00:09:32,949
Oh, Jenny.
Just in time.
207
00:09:33,847 --> 00:09:35,807
Here's a copy of our curriculum
208
00:09:35,815 --> 00:09:38,675
and a list of your
financial obligations.
209
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,420
This is the price per year?
210
00:09:41,421 --> 00:09:42,818
Per month.
211
00:09:45,788 --> 00:09:47,688
You know, Ben is starting
preschool today.
212
00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:48,719
Oh, yeah, where at?
213
00:09:48,723 --> 00:09:50,292
Over at that Chapman academy.
214
00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:52,021
Ah, the marine corps
of day care.
215
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,826
Max goes there.
216
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,127
Really? What do you
think of that place?
217
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:59,299
It's not like you got much choice. You
got harridan and her merry fembots,
218
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,458
you got idiot Von idiot
and their school for children
219
00:10:01,466 --> 00:10:03,026
who like accidents.
220
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:06,204
Fellows, fellows, numbers just came
in for chocolatey chocolate balls.
221
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:07,636
Through the roof!
222
00:10:07,637 --> 00:10:10,397
That's a big surprise. You hear that, Phil?
Kids like chocolate.
223
00:10:10,406 --> 00:10:11,636
Ice cream, too.
224
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,810
OK, sorry, I forgot I was
talking to the granola-heads
225
00:10:13,811 --> 00:10:15,208
from the natural food division.
226
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:17,679
Now, what was the stinker
you guys got saddled with?
227
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:21,378
It's not a stinker. It's called veggie-o's,
and it's the cereal of the future.
228
00:10:21,381 --> 00:10:24,081
Right, veggie-blows. I thought
they were killing that.
229
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,746
Jerry! Yo, Jerry!
230
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,881
Catch the numbers on the
chocolatey chocolate balls?
231
00:10:28,886 --> 00:10:30,186
Through the roof, baby!
232
00:10:30,187 --> 00:10:31,947
What does he mean,
"killing that"?
233
00:10:31,955 --> 00:10:34,455
Why you listening to Bruce?
Nothing's being killed.
234
00:10:34,457 --> 00:10:35,717
You know this guy's a clown.
235
00:10:35,724 --> 00:10:38,264
If something was going down,
we would know about it.
236
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,789
We're killin' it.
237
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:43,393
Hey, come on, Jim. We had one bad test.
And it's a hard nut to crack.
238
00:10:43,396 --> 00:10:46,496
Any fool can sell
chocolatey chocolate balls
239
00:10:46,499 --> 00:10:49,469
and cotton candy-flavored
cereal to kids, man.
240
00:10:49,470 --> 00:10:52,536
Cotton candy.
That's... that's not bad.
241
00:10:52,537 --> 00:10:55,937
Hey, guys, look.
I'm sorry, but it was a dog.
242
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:59,470
Kids just don't want to eat
vegetables for breakfast. Who knew?
243
00:10:59,476 --> 00:11:03,076
It's exactly what I told you 6 months
ago when you put us on this project.
244
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,046
You did?
245
00:11:05,047 --> 00:11:07,547
Well, it's not
just veggie-o's.
246
00:11:07,549 --> 00:11:10,319
We... we're shutting down
the whole health division.
247
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,648
That's like 300 people.
248
00:11:11,652 --> 00:11:13,792
Yes, it's just not a business
we want to be in.
249
00:11:13,793 --> 00:11:16,247
So, where are we
being reassigned?
250
00:11:20,359 --> 00:11:23,459
So, pooch, how was your
first day at school?
251
00:11:24,295 --> 00:11:25,385
OK.
252
00:11:25,763 --> 00:11:27,163
Just OK?
253
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,398
I don't know anybody there.
254
00:11:29,399 --> 00:11:33,499
Oh, well, give it some time.
You'll make some friends.
255
00:11:33,503 --> 00:11:35,173
How about you, baby?
How was your day?
256
00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:37,471
I lost my j-o-b.
257
00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:39,540
You lost your j-o-b?
258
00:11:39,541 --> 00:11:41,808
I got f-I-r-e-d.
259
00:11:41,809 --> 00:11:43,378
Me and 300 other people.
260
00:11:43,379 --> 00:11:44,607
They cannot do that!
261
00:11:44,611 --> 00:11:46,580
What about Jim fields?
Can't he do somethin'?
262
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,648
Jim fields is the one
that pulled the trigger.
263
00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:50,747
Now he's not gonna be
inclined to do anything,
264
00:11:50,749 --> 00:11:53,579
'cause when I found out it was him,
I told him to take a flying f...
265
00:11:53,585 --> 00:11:54,875
Charlie!
266
00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,220
H-I-j-k-l-m-n-o-p.
267
00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:02,689
Don't worry about this.
268
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:05,190
I'm a guy in demand, and I'll
have a new job in a week.
269
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,362
A week.
270
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,864
Hey, what if we use
the emergency fund?
271
00:12:14,866 --> 00:12:16,066
[Sighs]
272
00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:18,827
We can't. We already used
it on the car payment.
273
00:12:18,836 --> 00:12:19,896
OK.
274
00:12:22,405 --> 00:12:24,265
There's no way around it.
275
00:12:24,273 --> 00:12:27,011
We gotta pull Ben out of Chapman,
it's just too much money. Look.
276
00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:29,239
Then what are we gonna
do for child-care?
277
00:12:29,244 --> 00:12:30,744
Are you gonna
stay home with him?
278
00:12:30,745 --> 00:12:33,675
No, I'm not gonna
stay home with him.
279
00:12:33,681 --> 00:12:37,219
Look, we just gotta find something
more affordable, that's all.
280
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:38,777
(Charlie)
This is the right address.
281
00:12:38,785 --> 00:12:40,275
(Kim)
You gotta be kidding me.
282
00:12:40,286 --> 00:12:42,246
Hey, we can at least
check it out, you know.
283
00:12:42,254 --> 00:12:43,787
Ben is not goin' here.
284
00:12:43,788 --> 00:12:45,848
Looks can be deceiving.
Let me just go take a look.
285
00:12:45,856 --> 00:12:49,016
Looks can be deceiving?
We're in a trailer park!
286
00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,015
Yes?
287
00:12:51,026 --> 00:12:53,326
I might have made a mistake,
I'm looking for the preschool.
288
00:12:53,328 --> 00:12:55,088
Oh-ho, yes, it is.
289
00:12:57,130 --> 00:12:58,660
Welcome to the...
290
00:12:58,664 --> 00:13:01,364
[Coughing]
291
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:03,366
Sorry.
292
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,997
Welcome to
the touch of Eden preschool.
293
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,032
Can I help you?
294
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,996
Oh, uh, no, thank you.
295
00:13:11,839 --> 00:13:13,809
Is this the right address, here?
296
00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:15,707
I think so.
297
00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:16,938
Hi!
298
00:13:16,942 --> 00:13:18,042
Hello.
299
00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:21,213
We keep the children
right around here.
300
00:13:28,452 --> 00:13:30,022
Go ahead.
After you, ma'am.
301
00:13:33,757 --> 00:13:34,806
OK.
302
00:13:34,807 --> 00:13:35,857
(Charlie) Where'd you get
this address of this place?
303
00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:37,389
(Kim) No, you picked this place.
304
00:13:37,393 --> 00:13:38,933
We should report
this to somebody.
305
00:13:42,297 --> 00:13:44,757
All right,
that's what I'm talking about.
306
00:13:44,766 --> 00:13:47,426
See, I knew there had to be at
least one decent place in town.
307
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,225
Yeah. It looks all right.
308
00:13:49,236 --> 00:13:50,496
[Tires screeching]
309
00:13:50,503 --> 00:13:52,520
[Police siren wailing]
310
00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:54,539
(Officer 1) This is the police.
We have you surrounded.
311
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:55,470
Oh shit! Go!
312
00:13:55,474 --> 00:13:56,474
[Tires screeching]
313
00:14:01,212 --> 00:14:04,412
All right, Charlie.
Give up the keys.
314
00:14:04,415 --> 00:14:05,945
I don't know where the keys are.
315
00:14:05,949 --> 00:14:07,379
D-don't even try it.
316
00:14:07,383 --> 00:14:09,023
I don't know where
the keys to the Benz are.
317
00:14:09,024 --> 00:14:10,417
Why don't you drive the minivan?
318
00:14:10,418 --> 00:14:12,578
No. We already talked
about this last night.
319
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:16,616
You're staying home with Ben.
I'm driving the Mercedes.
320
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:20,992
You're gonna have me driving around
town in the dumb minivan all day.
321
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:22,960
Is the top down?
322
00:14:22,961 --> 00:14:24,901
Hey, you know what, Kim?
323
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:28,431
Just be careful.
Don't just park it anyplace.
324
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:30,571
And... and be careful getting
in and out of the car.
325
00:14:30,572 --> 00:14:32,468
Don't get any dings
in the door, you know.
326
00:14:32,469 --> 00:14:33,699
And make sure...
come here.
327
00:14:33,703 --> 00:14:35,641
Make sure you put
the good gas in there.
328
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,238
'Cause if you put in
the cheap stuff,
329
00:14:37,239 --> 00:14:39,939
it's gonna make the engine start
knocking, and I don't want that.
330
00:14:39,941 --> 00:14:43,079
And you don't leave milk inside the
car with the windows rolled up.
331
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,607
Always buckle up the car seat.
332
00:14:44,611 --> 00:14:47,011
Don't park in the sun
or the seats will get too hot.
333
00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:49,713
Oh, and no juice unless
it's in a sippy cup.
334
00:14:49,715 --> 00:14:51,605
Bye, baby.
335
00:14:51,616 --> 00:14:54,676
Hey, can you give a call, let us
know what time you'll be back?
336
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,015
[Engine starting]
337
00:14:56,019 --> 00:14:58,819
Because we'll be here waiting,
just the two of us.
338
00:14:58,821 --> 00:15:01,921
Bye, mommy.
339
00:15:01,924 --> 00:15:03,524
(Charlie)
Not too fast!
340
00:15:03,992 --> 00:15:05,759
See you later.
341
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:06,830
[Tires screeching]
342
00:15:08,228 --> 00:15:10,796
When's mommy coming back?
343
00:15:10,797 --> 00:15:13,557
She'll be back
around dinnertime, mommy.
344
00:15:14,432 --> 00:15:17,332
Is dinnertime soon?
345
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,703
No, but don't you worry. We're
going to have a lot of fun.
346
00:15:21,704 --> 00:15:24,744
But we need mommy to have fun.
347
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:29,008
Wow.
348
00:15:29,009 --> 00:15:31,039
What are you trying, just break
me down in the driveway?
349
00:15:31,044 --> 00:15:33,244
Why you want to break
your father down like that?
350
00:15:33,246 --> 00:15:34,276
(Ben)
I'm sorry.
351
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,710
That's better.
352
00:15:35,714 --> 00:15:37,714
'Cause you broke me down smooth just now.
My eyes welled up...
353
00:15:37,716 --> 00:15:38,716
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
354
00:15:38,717 --> 00:15:40,147
OK, you made my eyes
OK. I up.
355
00:15:40,151 --> 00:15:41,251
Look at my eyes.
356
00:15:41,252 --> 00:15:42,922
I see your eye twitching.
357
00:15:42,923 --> 00:15:44,950
We're going to have fun!
358
00:15:59,235 --> 00:16:00,325
[Laughing]
359
00:16:00,336 --> 00:16:01,896
[Telephone ringing]
360
00:16:01,904 --> 00:16:03,104
Yes!
361
00:16:03,105 --> 00:16:05,035
Do you know
how to change a diaper?
362
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,740
Yeah, but... wait, I thought
Max was potty-trained.
363
00:16:08,809 --> 00:16:10,039
Believe me, so did I.
364
00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,312
Don't do that to me!
What are you...
365
00:16:12,313 --> 00:16:14,541
He's throwing things at me,
and it smells.
366
00:16:14,546 --> 00:16:16,576
I really need your help!
367
00:16:19,115 --> 00:16:20,675
Are you potty-trained?
368
00:16:20,683 --> 00:16:21,823
Yes.
369
00:16:23,952 --> 00:16:25,482
You got to go stinky?
370
00:16:25,486 --> 00:16:26,586
Yes.
371
00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:28,787
Then, go on.
Go stinky, then.
372
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,558
[People chattering]
373
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,689
You have a nauseous ache
in the pit of your stomach
374
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:38,064
that you're a worthless failure?
375
00:16:39,363 --> 00:16:41,797
We are worthless failures.
376
00:16:41,798 --> 00:16:42,958
Hey, guys.
377
00:16:42,965 --> 00:16:45,095
Hey, Peggy.
Good. You doing?
378
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:46,330
What's going on, Nicky?
379
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:48,568
[Speaking Klingon]
380
00:16:48,569 --> 00:16:51,869
Yeah, he can be a little hard
to understand sometimes.
381
00:16:52,972 --> 00:16:55,072
Yeah honey, go play.
Have a good time, have fun.
382
00:16:55,074 --> 00:16:57,412
And listen, stay away
from that cat poop, OK?
383
00:16:57,413 --> 00:16:59,139
Hija? What is that?
What'd he just say?
384
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,744
Oh, my God, I haven't a clue.
385
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:03,605
The doctor says it's just a phase
he's going through, but...
386
00:17:03,614 --> 00:17:05,714
Well, it kept him
out of Chapman.
387
00:17:05,716 --> 00:17:07,116
Jerks.
388
00:17:07,117 --> 00:17:10,747
Max! Max!
Put that mouse down!
389
00:17:13,088 --> 00:17:14,718
Give it to me!
390
00:17:14,722 --> 00:17:16,022
Oh, what are you...
391
00:17:16,023 --> 00:17:18,157
[Grunting]
392
00:17:18,158 --> 00:17:21,758
You know something, Charlie, I think it's
great, you guys being full-time dads.
393
00:17:21,761 --> 00:17:24,061
Yeah. Yeah,
we're real giants among men.
394
00:17:24,063 --> 00:17:26,263
Seriously. You are. You
should be proud of yourself.
395
00:17:26,265 --> 00:17:28,625
Most guys I know, don't even
know who their kids are.
396
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,434
So Joe still hasn't
found anything?
397
00:17:30,435 --> 00:17:32,695
No, and he's driving me crazy.
398
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:35,403
I should go back to work, but
what am I going to do with Nicky?
399
00:17:35,405 --> 00:17:36,895
Dead mouse.
Dead mouse.
400
00:17:36,906 --> 00:17:39,666
There's no good alternative
to that Chapman joint.
401
00:17:39,675 --> 00:17:42,165
Dead mouse, dead mouse,
dead mouse.
402
00:17:44,244 --> 00:17:45,614
[Mumbling]
403
00:17:47,313 --> 00:17:49,083
[Grunting]
404
00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:51,608
[Groaning]
405
00:17:53,084 --> 00:17:54,851
I tell you somethin',
if someone opened
406
00:17:54,852 --> 00:17:57,352
a decent day care program around
here, they'd make a killing.
407
00:17:57,354 --> 00:18:00,154
Nicky, what did I say
about the cat poop?
408
00:18:06,862 --> 00:18:08,662
[Children shouting]
409
00:18:25,045 --> 00:18:26,535
What?
410
00:18:26,546 --> 00:18:28,206
A day care center?
You and me?
411
00:18:28,214 --> 00:18:30,752
Yes, Phil, this is a
completely under-served market.
412
00:18:30,753 --> 00:18:32,849
Harridan has a monopoly
on this whole suburb.
413
00:18:32,851 --> 00:18:34,681
All we have to do
is just come in,
414
00:18:34,686 --> 00:18:37,686
and establish ourselves as the value
alternative, and we'll clean up!
415
00:18:37,689 --> 00:18:39,689
You think I'd be good
at taking care of kids?
416
00:18:39,691 --> 00:18:40,857
Absolutely.
417
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:43,188
Excuse me?
Are these your kids?
418
00:18:44,594 --> 00:18:45,694
No.
419
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,860
Remember when
you broke my yo-yo?
420
00:18:49,865 --> 00:18:51,195
I did not break your yo-yo.
421
00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,459
Yes, you did.
422
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:55,166
I did not break your yo-yo.
Your yo-yo was broke.
423
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:58,698
You're killin' me.
You're really killin' me.
424
00:19:04,909 --> 00:19:06,879
Hey! I'm home!
425
00:19:10,546 --> 00:19:11,676
Ooh!
426
00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,453
(Charlie) You said let's
do this together.
427
00:19:20,454 --> 00:19:22,154
(Ben)
No, daddy!
428
00:19:22,155 --> 00:19:24,585
And now you're saying
what's going on here?
429
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:29,856
[Charlie laughing]
430
00:19:29,861 --> 00:19:32,161
A day care center.
In our house?
431
00:19:32,163 --> 00:19:33,932
Yes, Phil's apartment's
too small.
432
00:19:33,933 --> 00:19:35,431
It's only a 2-bedroom place.
433
00:19:35,432 --> 00:19:38,002
Charlie, this is crazy
on like 10 different levels.
434
00:19:38,003 --> 00:19:40,170
What do you and Phil know
about running a day care?
435
00:19:40,171 --> 00:19:43,299
This is not rocket science. We
applied for a license the other day.
436
00:19:43,305 --> 00:19:44,695
It couldn't be any more simple.
437
00:19:44,706 --> 00:19:45,906
Daddy.
438
00:19:45,907 --> 00:19:47,737
OK, what you want?
The rocket ship?
439
00:19:47,742 --> 00:19:49,112
[Making engine noises]
440
00:19:50,845 --> 00:19:52,305
OK, that's what
you wanted, right?
441
00:19:52,313 --> 00:19:53,379
Milk.
442
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:56,080
Oh, you wanted milk?
I'm sorry. He wanted milk.
443
00:19:56,082 --> 00:19:58,452
Yeah, 'cause rocket man needs
milk when he's flying around.
444
00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:00,781
It's for strong bones,
in case you crash, right?
445
00:20:00,786 --> 00:20:04,146
We understand each other.
What you think about this?
446
00:20:04,156 --> 00:20:06,816
I think we're talking about
other people's children, here.
447
00:20:06,825 --> 00:20:08,885
Do you know what type of
responsibility that is?
448
00:20:08,893 --> 00:20:11,033
I'll be just as careful
with them as I am with Ben.
449
00:20:11,034 --> 00:20:12,288
[Thudding]
450
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:14,125
Oh, hey, man, don't be running
your head into stuff.
451
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,360
Watch where you're walking.
What's the matter with you?
452
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:18,095
What are you gonna do
when you get a real job?
453
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,030
You're just gonna leave
the parents hanging?
454
00:20:20,035 --> 00:20:22,665
Hey, we'll cross that bridge
when we get to it.
455
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:25,570
Look, this is not gonna be permanent.
All right.
456
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:28,772
We're not gonna get rich from this, but
it might keep us out of bankruptcy.
457
00:20:28,775 --> 00:20:30,135
I don't know, Charlie.
458
00:20:30,143 --> 00:20:31,643
Come on, look, Kim.
459
00:20:31,644 --> 00:20:34,144
I can't just sit around here all day.
I got to try to do somethin'.
460
00:20:34,146 --> 00:20:36,046
Come on. I need this.
461
00:20:38,516 --> 00:20:41,346
I guess you better start
handing out those fliers.
462
00:20:41,352 --> 00:20:42,852
All right.
463
00:20:42,853 --> 00:20:45,053
Me, too. Much more sense...
464
00:20:45,055 --> 00:20:48,155
OK, you want me
to give you a hug?
465
00:20:48,158 --> 00:20:50,058
Here's a big hug. Group hug.
466
00:20:50,059 --> 00:20:52,759
♪[I want you back
by the Jacksons playing]♪
467
00:20:52,761 --> 00:20:55,331
♪ Ooh! Ooh! ♪
468
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:57,860
♪ let me tell ya now ♪
469
00:20:57,864 --> 00:21:00,164
excuse me.
When you get a chance...
470
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:05,033
♪ When I had you to myself ♪
471
00:21:05,035 --> 00:21:06,865
♪ I didn't want you around ♪
472
00:21:06,870 --> 00:21:12,107
♪ those pretty faces always
made you stand out in a crowd ♪
473
00:21:12,108 --> 00:21:15,708
♪ oh, baby, give me
one more chance ♪
474
00:21:17,012 --> 00:21:19,012
♪ won't you please ♪
475
00:21:19,014 --> 00:21:22,349
♪ let me back in your heart ♪
476
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:24,250
here you go, daddy day care.
477
00:21:24,251 --> 00:21:27,751
Hey, little karate guy.
Daddy day care, karate girl.
478
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:30,154
Hello! Daddy day care.
479
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:31,716
Hiya!, how are you?
480
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,157
[Groaning]
481
00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:34,318
God!
482
00:21:35,026 --> 00:21:37,426
[Groaning]
483
00:21:39,962 --> 00:21:42,362
Here you go.
If you get a chance...
484
00:21:44,332 --> 00:21:48,232
♪ Won't you please
let me back in your heart ♪
485
00:21:48,235 --> 00:21:49,325
hi.
486
00:21:49,336 --> 00:21:51,466
♪ Oh, baby, all I need ♪
487
00:21:51,471 --> 00:21:54,641
when you get a chance, have
a look at that. Thank you.
488
00:21:54,642 --> 00:21:57,770
If it's not too much trouble,
when you get a chance...
489
00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:59,076
♪ Back in your heart ♪
490
00:21:59,077 --> 00:22:02,907
♪ oh, darlin',
I was blind to let you go ♪
491
00:22:02,913 --> 00:22:04,246
[groaning]
492
00:22:04,247 --> 00:22:07,347
♪ But now since I see
you in his arms ♪%
493
00:22:07,350 --> 00:22:09,950
"warm, nurturing,
experienced parents
494
00:22:09,952 --> 00:22:14,088
providing exceptional child-care
at affordable prices."
495
00:22:14,089 --> 00:22:15,819
Hmm.
496
00:22:15,824 --> 00:22:18,464
You know, the "experienced" part
is what I have to take issue with.
497
00:22:19,193 --> 00:22:20,663
[Screaming]
498
00:22:24,097 --> 00:22:25,857
I give it 3 days.
499
00:22:25,865 --> 00:22:29,495
So, you 2 guys are running
a day care center?
500
00:22:29,501 --> 00:22:32,671
You're signing up people at a
lemonade stand on the front lawn?
501
00:22:32,672 --> 00:22:36,906
Wow, that's... Good luck with that.
Come on, Paul.
502
00:22:36,907 --> 00:22:40,807
Hey! Hey, wait a minute. Don't you
believe in equality amongst the sexes?
503
00:22:40,810 --> 00:22:42,880
Can't men do everything
women can do?
504
00:22:42,881 --> 00:22:46,078
No, no, we can't.
It's unnatural.
505
00:22:47,615 --> 00:22:49,445
A little bit eeky.
506
00:22:49,450 --> 00:22:50,650
You're guys?
507
00:22:50,651 --> 00:22:52,820
What did you think
daddy day care meant?
508
00:22:52,821 --> 00:22:55,319
I thought maybe one guy.
Not nothing but guys.
509
00:22:55,321 --> 00:22:56,890
I just thought
it was a clever name.
510
00:22:56,891 --> 00:22:58,089
Is this the day care place?
511
00:22:58,090 --> 00:22:59,890
They're guys.
They're all guys.
512
00:22:59,891 --> 00:23:01,121
They're what?
513
00:23:01,125 --> 00:23:05,155
Excuse me. Listen. We are
2 loving, caring parents,
514
00:23:05,162 --> 00:23:06,762
and we run a day care center.
515
00:23:06,763 --> 00:23:08,701
A couple of sickos
is what you are!
516
00:23:08,702 --> 00:23:11,528
Don't be... hey, miss, hey, how
about a free trial offer?
517
00:23:11,534 --> 00:23:12,800
Sickos!
518
00:23:12,801 --> 00:23:13,931
[Gasps]
519
00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:15,425
Uh-oh. Dear, dear.
520
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:16,536
Come on!
521
00:23:17,971 --> 00:23:20,001
Hi, Peggy! Hi, Nicky.
How you doin'?
522
00:23:20,006 --> 00:23:22,736
Hi! Nicky is so excited
for his big day.
523
00:23:22,742 --> 00:23:24,612
Nicky, how old are you, hon'?
Oh, yeah, 5.
524
00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:25,840
OK, I got it.
525
00:23:25,844 --> 00:23:28,744
Wait. You're gonna leave Nicky
here with these guys?
526
00:23:28,746 --> 00:23:31,076
Yeah. Oh, come on, you have
trouble with them being guys?
527
00:23:31,081 --> 00:23:32,481
What are you,
from the dark ages?
528
00:23:32,482 --> 00:23:35,082
Aren't you for all that gender
equality and all that jazz?
529
00:23:35,084 --> 00:23:37,652
Peggy, come on.
Of course we are.
530
00:23:37,653 --> 00:23:40,453
OK. So can't women do what men
do and men do what women do?
531
00:23:40,455 --> 00:23:42,185
(Peggy)
These guys can do the job.
532
00:23:42,190 --> 00:23:44,057
What, are you gonna
vouch for these 2?
533
00:23:44,058 --> 00:23:46,118
Yeah, I'll vouch for 'em.
I'll vouch for these guys.
534
00:23:46,126 --> 00:23:47,256
(Together)
Yeah, yeah.
535
00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:48,690
OK, OK, OK. Just...
I'll try it.
536
00:23:48,694 --> 00:23:49,831
You're gonna do it?
537
00:23:49,832 --> 00:23:51,358
They'll have a great time.
538
00:23:51,362 --> 00:23:52,892
Right, kids?
539
00:23:52,896 --> 00:23:54,896
You're a real lifesaver.
540
00:23:54,898 --> 00:23:59,228
You know what, you screw this up, I'm
gonna kill you with my bare hands.
541
00:23:59,235 --> 00:24:00,965
Here, now, go to Phil.
542
00:24:00,970 --> 00:24:02,770
No, I don't wanna go.
543
00:24:02,771 --> 00:24:03,840
Come on.
Let go.
544
00:24:03,841 --> 00:24:04,898
I don't wanna go!
545
00:24:04,905 --> 00:24:07,265
He's got a little bit
of separation anxiety.
546
00:24:07,274 --> 00:24:08,274
[Shrieking]
547
00:24:08,275 --> 00:24:09,835
Oh, Dylan!
548
00:24:09,843 --> 00:24:11,176
Don't want...
549
00:24:11,177 --> 00:24:12,777
[Shrieking]
550
00:24:12,778 --> 00:24:14,338
I just stopped breastfeeding.
551
00:24:14,346 --> 00:24:15,876
I'd freak out, too.
552
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,180
If you could just grab a leg.
553
00:24:17,181 --> 00:24:18,247
I don't wanna go.
554
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:19,248
All right.
555
00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:20,449
Here we go.
Come on.
556
00:24:20,450 --> 00:24:22,150
Come on, Dylan.
557
00:24:22,151 --> 00:24:23,781
I don't wanna go, E.
558
00:24:23,785 --> 00:24:25,545
OK. OK.
559
00:24:25,553 --> 00:24:26,553
Ow! Let...
560
00:24:26,554 --> 00:24:29,188
come on. Let go of mom!
561
00:24:29,189 --> 00:24:30,219
I don't wanna go.
562
00:24:30,223 --> 00:24:31,489
Let go, wow.
563
00:24:31,490 --> 00:24:33,657
Thank you. Oh, man.
564
00:24:33,658 --> 00:24:35,658
No lactose, no peanuts,
no shellfish.
565
00:24:35,660 --> 00:24:37,627
Nothing high in fructose.
566
00:24:37,628 --> 00:24:39,158
Or sucrose or dextrose.
567
00:24:39,162 --> 00:24:41,362
Or maltodextrose.
568
00:24:41,364 --> 00:24:43,832
Nothing with red dye number 6.
569
00:24:43,833 --> 00:24:44,833
Or number 4.
570
00:24:44,834 --> 00:24:47,769
Or yellow dye number 2.
571
00:24:47,770 --> 00:24:50,870
Will you say "maltodextrose"
for me again? So cute.
572
00:24:50,873 --> 00:24:52,573
Maltodextrose.
573
00:24:53,474 --> 00:24:55,074
Ma-maltodextrose.
574
00:24:55,075 --> 00:24:56,905
Or yellow dye number 2.
575
00:24:56,910 --> 00:24:58,176
2, right.
576
00:24:58,177 --> 00:24:59,677
His name's Crispin.
577
00:24:59,678 --> 00:25:03,046
My man, Crispin!
How's it goin' there, big guy?
578
00:25:03,047 --> 00:25:04,107
[Screams]
579
00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:08,417
What time's pickup?
580
00:25:08,418 --> 00:25:10,248
At 5:00 P.M.
581
00:25:10,253 --> 00:25:12,791
Hmm, I have laser treatment.
Make it 6:00.
582
00:25:12,792 --> 00:25:15,358
Sorry about the outfit.
He won't take it off.
583
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:16,917
How long has he been
wearin' that?
584
00:25:16,925 --> 00:25:19,085
(Mother)
Couple of weeks.
585
00:25:19,093 --> 00:25:21,993
Now who are you gonna call if
there are any problems, sweetie?
586
00:25:21,995 --> 00:25:23,555
911, mommy.
587
00:25:23,563 --> 00:25:26,063
That's such a good girl.
588
00:25:26,065 --> 00:25:29,765
Come on. Come on. Come on, Dylan!
I'll let you hold my keys.
589
00:25:29,768 --> 00:25:32,198
How about life savers?
You like life savers?
590
00:25:32,203 --> 00:25:34,573
How about money?
A dollar?
591
00:25:35,172 --> 00:25:36,602
Ah!
592
00:25:36,606 --> 00:25:37,666
[Laughing]
593
00:25:37,673 --> 00:25:39,273
Yeah! A dollar.
594
00:25:39,274 --> 00:25:40,374
Hmm.
595
00:25:40,375 --> 00:25:43,575
You are a smart man.
That is yours. All right.
596
00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:47,008
(Charlie)
Welcome to daddy day care.
597
00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:50,951
We're your team facilitators. My
name is Charlie and this is Phil.
598
00:25:50,952 --> 00:25:53,719
OK, anybody ever seen
a mission statement before?
599
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,386
Here. Everybody take one.
Take a mission statement.
600
00:25:57,387 --> 00:25:58,387
Me!
601
00:25:58,388 --> 00:26:00,218
Here we go. One for everybody.
Slow down.
602
00:26:00,223 --> 00:26:01,489
All right. OK.
603
00:26:01,490 --> 00:26:05,759
Now, who wants to be first one
to read the first sentence
604
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,260
on the mission statement?
605
00:26:08,528 --> 00:26:10,058
OK, how 'bout you?
606
00:26:10,062 --> 00:26:12,396
I don't read yet.
607
00:26:12,397 --> 00:26:14,227
OK, I'm looking
for someone who can read.
608
00:26:14,232 --> 00:26:18,232
OK, now, by a show of hands, how
many of you guys can already read?
609
00:26:18,235 --> 00:26:19,465
[Sighing]
610
00:26:19,469 --> 00:26:23,499
OK, uh, raise your hand
if you don't know how to read.
611
00:26:25,307 --> 00:26:27,267
OK. Here's what
we're gonna do.
612
00:26:27,275 --> 00:26:29,535
I'm gonna read
the mission statement aloud,
613
00:26:29,543 --> 00:26:32,113
and what I want you guys to do
is just follow along
614
00:26:32,114 --> 00:26:34,612
as I read
the mission statement. OK?
615
00:26:34,614 --> 00:26:37,584
Doesn't that sound like fun,
interesting fun? Here we go.
616
00:26:37,585 --> 00:26:41,952
"As the members and facilitators
of the daddy day care team,
617
00:26:41,953 --> 00:26:44,921
we will collectively
strive to provide..."
618
00:26:44,922 --> 00:26:49,291
OK, Sean, don't... don't eat the... the mission
statement. Get that out of your mouth.
619
00:26:49,292 --> 00:26:51,392
"Will collectively
strive to..."
620
00:26:51,394 --> 00:26:53,964
And don't you rip the mission
statement, little flash.
621
00:26:53,965 --> 00:26:56,433
Because it's a very important
document... hey!
622
00:26:56,434 --> 00:26:59,202
N-now, come here.
Hey! Come back here!
623
00:27:00,268 --> 00:27:03,868
OK. Uh, so, what he's
really trying to say is...
624
00:27:04,403 --> 00:27:06,443
[All shrieking]
625
00:27:11,843 --> 00:27:14,083
(Charlie)
Stop runnin'! Stop runnin'!
626
00:27:14,084 --> 00:27:15,938
Come here! Come here!
627
00:27:15,946 --> 00:27:17,476
Hey, come back here!
One second.
628
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,049
OK, up? You want
the rocket ship?
629
00:27:19,050 --> 00:27:20,408
[Making engine sounds]
630
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,416
One more?
631
00:27:22,417 --> 00:27:24,577
(Kids)
Rocket ship! Rocket ship!
632
00:27:24,585 --> 00:27:26,015
Everybody'll get
the rocket ship.
633
00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:28,119
Slow down, slow down, everybody.
Slow down!
634
00:27:28,121 --> 00:27:29,621
[Children chattering]
635
00:27:29,622 --> 00:27:31,560
I thought you said
this was gonna be easy.
636
00:27:31,561 --> 00:27:33,257
You know what I'm thinking now?
637
00:27:33,258 --> 00:27:34,618
That it was a huge mistake?
638
00:27:34,626 --> 00:27:35,856
Yeah, you know, Phil,
639
00:27:35,860 --> 00:27:38,660
I never quit anything in life,
640
00:27:38,662 --> 00:27:41,062
but I'm not sure how much
longer I can take this.
641
00:27:41,064 --> 00:27:42,330
I'll be right back.
642
00:27:42,331 --> 00:27:43,561
Hey, where you goin', man?
643
00:27:43,565 --> 00:27:44,555
Trust me!
644
00:27:44,566 --> 00:27:45,866
Help me do the rocket ship.
645
00:27:45,867 --> 00:27:47,367
(Nicky)
Rocket ship!
646
00:27:47,368 --> 00:27:49,198
[Making engine sounds]
647
00:27:52,372 --> 00:27:55,772
4 absent children.
No explanation.
648
00:27:55,775 --> 00:27:57,735
(Jenny)
Maybe it's just a coincidence.
649
00:27:57,743 --> 00:28:02,212
In a group this size, 3 absent
children is a coincidence.
650
00:28:02,213 --> 00:28:04,653
4 is a statistical anomaly.
651
00:28:08,085 --> 00:28:09,775
Hello, Santa Luma!
652
00:28:09,786 --> 00:28:11,316
♪ [Strumming]
653
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,520
Hey, everybody! It's big
Phil with a guitar!
654
00:28:14,523 --> 00:28:18,623
OK, why don't you guys enjoy big
Phil while I rest my spine?
655
00:28:18,626 --> 00:28:20,826
Max, bring your dad a chair.
656
00:28:20,828 --> 00:28:22,058
[Sighs]
657
00:28:22,062 --> 00:28:23,292
♪ [Guitar playing]
658
00:28:23,296 --> 00:28:24,896
They really like
that rocket ship.
659
00:28:24,897 --> 00:28:26,997
♪ Now when I was
a small boy ♪
660
00:28:26,999 --> 00:28:28,469
(kids) ♪ when I
was a small boy ♪
661
00:28:28,470 --> 00:28:30,327
♪ At the age of 5 ♪
662
00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:31,725
♪ At the age of 5 ♪
663
00:28:31,736 --> 00:28:33,036
♪ My mama said ♪
664
00:28:33,037 --> 00:28:35,067
♪ My mama said ♪
665
00:28:35,072 --> 00:28:37,072
♪ I'd be the greatest
man alive ♪
666
00:28:37,074 --> 00:28:38,140
Yeah!
667
00:28:38,141 --> 00:28:39,508
♪ I'm a man ♪
668
00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:41,576
♪ I'm a man ♪
669
00:28:41,577 --> 00:28:43,377
♪ I'm a full-grown man ♪
670
00:28:43,378 --> 00:28:45,038
♪ I'm a full-grown man ♪
671
00:28:45,046 --> 00:28:46,576
♪ I'm a fat man ♪
672
00:28:46,580 --> 00:28:47,980
♪ I'm a fat man! ♪
673
00:28:47,981 --> 00:28:49,151
♪ I've gotta stop eatin' ♪%
674
00:28:49,152 --> 00:28:51,348
hey, come on into the kitchen.
675
00:28:51,350 --> 00:28:54,780
(All together) ♪ put the lime in
the coconut and drink 'em all up ♪
676
00:28:54,786 --> 00:28:58,086
♪ Put the lime in the coconut,
drink 'em all up ♪
677
00:28:58,089 --> 00:29:01,789
♪ Put the lime in the coconut
you drink 'em all up ♪
678
00:29:01,792 --> 00:29:05,528
♪ I say, doctor, ain't there
nothing I can take?" ♪%
679
00:29:05,529 --> 00:29:08,599
♪ I say, "doctor,
to relieve this belly ache?" ♪
680
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,328
♪ I say, "doctor..." ♪%
681
00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:13,333
♪ like a rhinestone cowboy ♪
682
00:29:15,070 --> 00:29:17,170
♪ Riding out on a horse ♪
683
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:20,542
♪ In a star-spangled rodeo ♪%
684
00:29:21,975 --> 00:29:23,705
♪ hava nagila ♪
685
00:29:23,710 --> 00:29:25,377
♪ Hava nagila ♪
686
00:29:25,378 --> 00:29:27,438
♪ Hava nagila ♪%
687
00:29:27,446 --> 00:29:29,906
♪ [Children singing]
688
00:29:29,915 --> 00:29:32,945
I am definitely out of songs.
689
00:29:32,951 --> 00:29:34,381
OK, lunchtime.
690
00:29:36,653 --> 00:29:38,720
(Kids)
Mmm!
691
00:29:38,721 --> 00:29:40,021
Mmm, yum.
692
00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:42,115
Mmm, yummy.
693
00:29:42,123 --> 00:29:44,423
I don't know if we should be
feeding this kind of stuff.
694
00:29:44,425 --> 00:29:46,655
Why not? Look at them.
They love it.
695
00:29:46,660 --> 00:29:48,190
[Belching]
696
00:29:48,194 --> 00:29:49,661
[Farts]
697
00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:51,292
(All exclaiming)
698
00:29:51,296 --> 00:29:52,796
Yeah, but I'm a little worried.
699
00:29:52,797 --> 00:29:54,327
About what?
700
00:29:54,331 --> 00:29:56,300
♪ [I wanna be sedated
by the Ramones playing] ♪
701
00:29:56,301 --> 00:29:57,529
[Children screaming]
702
00:29:57,533 --> 00:30:00,701
♪ 2-2-24 hours to go ♪
703
00:30:00,702 --> 00:30:01,768
911.
704
00:30:01,769 --> 00:30:02,799
♪ I wanna be sedated ♪
705
00:30:02,803 --> 00:30:04,903
he cut off his head!
706
00:30:04,905 --> 00:30:07,705
Crispin stole my doll.
I need help.
707
00:30:07,707 --> 00:30:08,837
[Growls]
708
00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:12,542
Come on!
709
00:30:12,543 --> 00:30:15,912
You know how old this piano is?
Keep your feet off the piano.
710
00:30:15,913 --> 00:30:18,613
Get your shoes off the couch.
Get them off the couch!
711
00:30:22,317 --> 00:30:24,877
Crispin, please.
Please, crispin!
712
00:30:24,886 --> 00:30:27,016
Give me the...
Ahhh!
713
00:30:27,021 --> 00:30:29,621
(Moe on T.V.) The meat ain't the
only fresh thing around here.
714
00:30:29,623 --> 00:30:32,723
Hey, no, no, no. Don't play with that.
Give me this. Give me this.
715
00:30:37,463 --> 00:30:38,996
Leave it alone, OK?
716
00:30:38,997 --> 00:30:41,527
♪ I wanna be sedated ♪
717
00:30:41,532 --> 00:30:44,532
♪ nothing to do,
nowhere to go, oh ♪
718
00:30:44,535 --> 00:30:46,765
♪ I wanna be sedated ♪
719
00:30:46,770 --> 00:30:47,836
[belches]
720
00:30:47,837 --> 00:30:49,337
♪ Just put me
in a wheelchair ♪
721
00:30:49,338 --> 00:30:51,355
♪ get me to the show ♪
722
00:30:51,356 --> 00:30:53,366
♪ hurry, hurry, hurry,
before I go loco ♪
723
00:30:53,375 --> 00:30:55,935
♪ I can't control my fingers,
I can't control my toes ♪
724
00:30:55,944 --> 00:30:58,412
all right.
725
00:30:58,413 --> 00:30:59,783
Hey, you get off those drapes.
726
00:30:59,784 --> 00:31:01,281
[Dylan screams]
727
00:31:01,282 --> 00:31:04,052
Stop climbing the drapes.
Stop climbing. You stop it.
728
00:31:04,053 --> 00:31:05,621
Hey you come here!
729
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,287
♪ Ba-Ba-baba ♪
730
00:31:08,288 --> 00:31:09,588
Nicky, gimme that vase!
731
00:31:09,589 --> 00:31:11,189
Nicky, put down the vase!
732
00:31:12,424 --> 00:31:14,124
♪ Ba-Ba-baba ♪
733
00:31:14,125 --> 00:31:16,285
♪ I wanna be sedated ♪
734
00:31:17,594 --> 00:31:20,034
tomorrow,
we give them all organic.
735
00:31:21,063 --> 00:31:22,863
Don't worry, it's gonna be OK.
736
00:31:22,864 --> 00:31:24,934
How can you stand there
and say that? Look at this.
737
00:31:24,935 --> 00:31:26,332
What goes up...
738
00:31:27,067 --> 00:31:29,967
[Snoring]
739
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:35,940
[Knocking on door]
740
00:31:38,343 --> 00:31:39,413
Shh!
741
00:31:46,149 --> 00:31:47,209
Wow!
742
00:31:47,783 --> 00:31:49,283
You guys are good.
743
00:31:49,284 --> 00:31:52,224
Well, what do you expect? You left
your kids with professionals.
744
00:31:55,690 --> 00:31:57,459
Sorry to leave you hangin', man,
745
00:31:57,460 --> 00:31:58,788
but ever since we got laid off,
746
00:31:58,792 --> 00:32:00,561
Sheila's been
makin' me make dinner.
747
00:32:00,562 --> 00:32:01,990
Really? How's that goin'?
748
00:32:01,994 --> 00:32:04,628
Uh, it ain't nappin'.
749
00:32:04,629 --> 00:32:06,429
Hey, can I take these
snack cakes home?
750
00:32:06,430 --> 00:32:07,496
Yeah, go ahead.
751
00:32:07,497 --> 00:32:08,557
Ah!
752
00:32:10,399 --> 00:32:12,029
How you doin', little man?
753
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,300
Hmm, that's how you doin'?
754
00:32:14,301 --> 00:32:15,531
♪ [Bagpipes playing]
755
00:32:15,535 --> 00:32:17,225
Excuse me a second.
What is that?
756
00:32:20,539 --> 00:32:22,408
All right, give me that.
That's too loud.
757
00:32:22,409 --> 00:32:24,237
C'mon, man, let go,
it's too loud.
758
00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:25,842
I'm serious.
Let go, crispin. Crisp...
759
00:32:25,843 --> 00:32:27,510
[yelling]
760
00:32:27,511 --> 00:32:28,781
[Growling]
All right, then.
761
00:32:30,279 --> 00:32:32,509
Gettin' kinda late. Where do
you suppose your mommy is?
762
00:32:32,514 --> 00:32:33,914
Shut up, butthead.
763
00:32:33,915 --> 00:32:36,375
Shut... hey, you stop that!
Hey, you know somethin'?
764
00:32:36,384 --> 00:32:40,453
Your mommy and daddy would not like you talkin'
like that. You should not talk like that.
765
00:32:40,454 --> 00:32:42,554
When your mommy comes,
I'm gonna tell her that you...
766
00:32:42,556 --> 00:32:44,256
I'm delayed, let's go.
Motor's running.
767
00:32:44,257 --> 00:32:45,557
Yeah, c'mon, get out of here.
768
00:32:45,558 --> 00:32:46,658
(Crispin's Mom)
Stop!
769
00:32:46,659 --> 00:32:47,819
I wish you would.
770
00:32:47,826 --> 00:32:49,126
Crispin, don't make that face.
771
00:32:49,127 --> 00:32:50,427
[Whispering]
What?
772
00:32:50,428 --> 00:32:52,996
Don't make lines.
Quiet the face.
773
00:32:52,997 --> 00:32:55,757
Relax the face.
Quiet the face. Quiet.
774
00:32:55,766 --> 00:32:57,996
Yes, c-calm your face.
Show no lines, you know.
775
00:32:58,001 --> 00:32:59,071
[Screams]
776
00:33:00,436 --> 00:33:01,566
You got early drop-off?
777
00:33:01,570 --> 00:33:03,837
No, we don't have anything...
778
00:33:03,838 --> 00:33:06,238
[Whispering]
I'm gonna see you tomorrow.
779
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,010
I'll see you tomorrow, crispin.
780
00:33:08,011 --> 00:33:09,738
Tomorrow.
781
00:33:09,743 --> 00:33:12,343
All right, you're gonna be just
like your father. Look at him.
782
00:33:12,345 --> 00:33:15,005
Hanging off of him,
his skin. Hanging off.
783
00:33:16,180 --> 00:33:17,610
Hey, little man.
784
00:33:17,614 --> 00:33:18,880
Hey, dad.
785
00:33:18,881 --> 00:33:20,151
What are you up to?
786
00:33:21,616 --> 00:33:25,146
Hmm, just tryin' to read
a story.
787
00:33:25,152 --> 00:33:26,782
[Sighs]
788
00:33:26,786 --> 00:33:28,516
Hey, listen, man,
789
00:33:28,521 --> 00:33:32,221
I know I was really busy today with those
other kids, taking care of them and all.
790
00:33:32,224 --> 00:33:35,693
I know it probably wasn't easy for
you, havin' to share all your toys
791
00:33:35,694 --> 00:33:39,332
and watchin' daddy do rocket ship
with everybody, but, you know,
792
00:33:39,333 --> 00:33:42,160
now it's just me and you, we
can do whatever you wanna do.
793
00:33:42,166 --> 00:33:44,226
Can we read this story?
794
00:33:44,234 --> 00:33:46,268
We sure can read this story.
795
00:33:46,269 --> 00:33:47,569
All right.
796
00:33:47,570 --> 00:33:50,670
"There once was
a herd of elephants.
797
00:33:50,673 --> 00:33:52,873
"Elephants young, elephants ol',
798
00:33:52,875 --> 00:33:54,975
"elephants tall and short,
fat and thin.
799
00:33:54,977 --> 00:33:56,137
[Yawns]
800
00:33:56,144 --> 00:33:58,113
"All were different,
but all were happy,
801
00:33:58,114 --> 00:34:00,381
"and almost all
were the same color.
802
00:34:00,382 --> 00:34:02,780
And they all made
the elephant sound."
803
00:34:02,782 --> 00:34:03,882
They all said...
804
00:34:03,883 --> 00:34:05,883
[Trumpets]
805
00:34:05,885 --> 00:34:07,345
Let me hear you make that sound.
806
00:34:07,353 --> 00:34:09,120
[Giggles]
807
00:34:09,121 --> 00:34:10,588
All right.
808
00:34:10,589 --> 00:34:12,056
Do it again?
809
00:34:12,057 --> 00:34:15,527
Oh, no, I can't do it again, because
daddy might have an aneurysm.
810
00:34:22,333 --> 00:34:24,433
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
811
00:34:26,102 --> 00:34:27,102
[Sighs]
812
00:34:30,706 --> 00:34:32,766
[Whispering]
I'm not cleanin' this up.
813
00:34:34,142 --> 00:34:35,772
[Sighs]
814
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:41,850
[Dylan screaming]
815
00:34:49,455 --> 00:34:50,845
Ah!
816
00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:55,358
Hey, take this in there.
Go sit down.
817
00:34:55,359 --> 00:34:57,459
All right, maybe I haven't
had my coffee yet,
818
00:34:57,462 --> 00:35:00,032
but it seems like these kids are
multiplying. What's going on?
819
00:35:00,033 --> 00:35:01,201
Yeah, we got 2 new kids.
820
00:35:01,202 --> 00:35:02,298
Oh, come on!
821
00:35:02,299 --> 00:35:04,268
Listen, we're gonna have to
up our game today.
822
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:06,327
We need structure
and some planned activities.
823
00:35:06,335 --> 00:35:08,735
No, we need Ritalin and
leashes, that's what we need.
824
00:35:08,737 --> 00:35:10,967
Hmm.
All we're gonna need is this.
825
00:35:10,972 --> 00:35:13,172
[Children yelling]
826
00:35:13,174 --> 00:35:14,874
All right, everybody,
let's do this.
827
00:35:14,875 --> 00:35:16,765
Everybody, come in here.
OK, here we go.
828
00:35:16,776 --> 00:35:19,506
OK, all right, c'mon, let's try
another play. Let's try this.
829
00:35:19,512 --> 00:35:21,612
Let's try this. Here's what
we're gonna do now.
830
00:35:21,614 --> 00:35:24,114
Here's a new play, all right.
It's called the baby blitz.
831
00:35:24,116 --> 00:35:26,476
Nicky, I want you to hang back.
We're gonna do a lateral.
832
00:35:26,485 --> 00:35:29,215
I want you to go down the
middle for a button-hook, OK?
833
00:35:29,221 --> 00:35:31,091
Here, you,
I want you to be my blocker.
834
00:35:31,092 --> 00:35:33,919
How about we just
run in a circle?
835
00:35:33,925 --> 00:35:37,755
OK, we can do that. That's an even better
play. Everybody just run in a circle.
836
00:35:37,762 --> 00:35:41,862
Yes? All right, let's run in a circle.
Come on, run in a circle.
837
00:35:41,866 --> 00:35:44,996
Tony, you'll see the ball a lot
better if you take your mask off.
838
00:35:45,002 --> 00:35:47,202
I'm not Tony, I'm flash.
839
00:35:47,204 --> 00:35:48,274
Hmm.
840
00:35:55,911 --> 00:35:57,111
Hey!
841
00:35:58,046 --> 00:36:00,146
How come you're not playing,
little man?
842
00:36:01,482 --> 00:36:04,582
Come on, it's football.
You love football!
843
00:36:04,585 --> 00:36:05,775
(Sean)
Help!
844
00:36:06,653 --> 00:36:08,353
Help! Stuck!
845
00:36:12,791 --> 00:36:15,559
I live in California.
Where do you live?
846
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,060
(Woman)
I am in Hong Kong.
847
00:36:17,061 --> 00:36:18,891
Where's Hong Kong?
848
00:36:21,597 --> 00:36:22,997
Can you hear me now?
849
00:36:22,998 --> 00:36:24,298
I can't hear you.
850
00:36:24,299 --> 00:36:25,359
Can you hear me now?
851
00:36:25,366 --> 00:36:26,426
I can't hear you.
852
00:36:26,433 --> 00:36:29,733
Can you hear me now?
What is it?
853
00:36:29,736 --> 00:36:31,866
I thought you liked football,
all this time.
854
00:36:31,871 --> 00:36:33,801
You're gonna tell me
you don't like...
855
00:36:33,806 --> 00:36:34,866
[Farting]
856
00:36:40,411 --> 00:36:43,411
I'll be... I'm gonna be right back,
little man. I got to go...
857
00:36:43,414 --> 00:36:44,484
Hey!
858
00:36:45,448 --> 00:36:46,878
Hey. Phil.
859
00:36:46,882 --> 00:36:50,082
Hey, uh, you got a little
problem over there with Max.
860
00:36:50,085 --> 00:36:52,145
Oh, it's happening.
861
00:36:52,153 --> 00:36:53,490
What's happening?
What is it?
862
00:36:53,491 --> 00:36:57,417
It! It's happening. He hasn't
gone for a week. That's it.
863
00:36:57,423 --> 00:37:00,423
Oh, no. That's... that's...
It's happenin'?
864
00:37:00,426 --> 00:37:02,926
It's happenin'.
I know the face. Look.
865
00:37:02,928 --> 00:37:05,658
[Farting]
866
00:37:05,664 --> 00:37:07,934
That's your cue. You gotta
go and deal with that.
867
00:37:07,935 --> 00:37:08,962
I can't.
868
00:37:08,966 --> 00:37:10,666
What do you mean,
I can't.T?
869
00:37:10,667 --> 00:37:11,767
You have to do it.
870
00:37:11,768 --> 00:37:12,898
I can't.
871
00:37:12,902 --> 00:37:13,932
Yes, you can.
872
00:37:13,936 --> 00:37:14,936
I can't.
873
00:37:14,937 --> 00:37:16,337
All right, I will!
874
00:37:16,338 --> 00:37:17,438
Good. Come on.
875
00:37:18,006 --> 00:37:19,866
[Stomach rumbling]
876
00:37:28,148 --> 00:37:30,308
[Baby Max farting]
877
00:37:30,316 --> 00:37:31,506
Oh, oh, oh!
878
00:37:34,185 --> 00:37:35,345
[Baby Max farts]
879
00:37:35,852 --> 00:37:37,822
[Groaning]
880
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:39,987
I can't.
881
00:37:39,988 --> 00:37:42,858
OK, listen. I can see you
got issues about this,
882
00:37:42,859 --> 00:37:44,957
so I'm gonna take care
of it this time, all right?
883
00:37:44,959 --> 00:37:46,219
Yeah.
884
00:37:46,226 --> 00:37:48,186
But in the future, you gotta
work this one out yourself.
885
00:37:48,194 --> 00:37:49,460
I gotta work it out.
886
00:37:49,461 --> 00:37:51,631
That's your son. And God
willing, when you get older,
887
00:37:51,632 --> 00:37:55,129
he's gonna do this for you one day, so
you wanna know that he owes that to you.
888
00:37:55,131 --> 00:37:56,197
He owes me.
889
00:37:56,198 --> 00:37:57,358
Yeah. Es you.
890
00:37:59,567 --> 00:38:01,497
Hey, don't get cute
with the thing.
891
00:38:01,502 --> 00:38:03,471
I'm not assuming
you're doin' it.
892
00:38:03,472 --> 00:38:05,300
All right,
so how you wanna do this?
893
00:38:05,305 --> 00:38:07,095
I can do this myself.
894
00:38:07,106 --> 00:38:08,636
Yes. Sure?
895
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:13,079
OK, well, you go and do it with your
bad self. You go and do it now.
896
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,777
All right. You need anything,
I'm right out here, OK?
897
00:38:18,948 --> 00:38:20,248
[Crashing]
898
00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:23,720
[Rattling]
899
00:38:25,418 --> 00:38:28,186
[Flushing]
900
00:38:28,187 --> 00:38:30,987
Hey! Hey, big guy,
how'd it go in there?
901
00:38:30,989 --> 00:38:32,289
I missed.
902
00:38:32,290 --> 00:38:33,560
What does that mean?
903
00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:34,787
I missed.
904
00:38:36,092 --> 00:38:37,362
Oh, hell, no.
905
00:39:06,587 --> 00:39:07,817
Whew!
906
00:39:08,922 --> 00:39:12,062
[Children screaming]
907
00:39:12,425 --> 00:39:13,485
Hey!
908
00:39:13,992 --> 00:39:15,158
(Phil)
Come on!
909
00:39:15,159 --> 00:39:17,489
(Charlie)
No, no, no!
910
00:39:17,494 --> 00:39:20,604
Come on. You put this down.
You don't play with this.
911
00:39:20,605 --> 00:39:22,997
You ripped up my wife's flowers.
912
00:39:22,999 --> 00:39:26,729
You give me this. You're not supposed to.
Go play with something else.
913
00:39:26,735 --> 00:39:27,925
Hey, what's goin' on here?
914
00:39:27,936 --> 00:39:29,466
We're spiraling out of control.
915
00:39:29,470 --> 00:39:32,440
Look, don't panic, because they're
like animals. They can smell fear.
916
00:39:32,441 --> 00:39:34,609
I don't know what else to do.
I've run out of ideas.
917
00:39:34,610 --> 00:39:36,207
I'll tell you what...
918
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:38,268
Hey! Hey! Hey!
919
00:39:41,178 --> 00:39:43,438
(Teacher 3)
Quietly, children. Follow me.
920
00:39:43,879 --> 00:39:45,509
6 absences.
921
00:39:47,214 --> 00:39:49,348
(Teacher 3)
Single file.
922
00:39:49,349 --> 00:39:51,579
I have to go make a phone call.
923
00:39:54,653 --> 00:39:58,288
Let's get ready to rumble!
924
00:39:58,289 --> 00:40:00,589
[All cheering]
925
00:40:00,591 --> 00:40:03,191
Let me tell you something, brother.
I have never liked carrots.
926
00:40:03,193 --> 00:40:05,993
And today as I stand here
and look at you before me,
927
00:40:05,995 --> 00:40:09,395
having the audacity to think
that you can defeat me,
928
00:40:09,398 --> 00:40:11,028
let me tell you something,
brother,
929
00:40:11,032 --> 00:40:13,867
I am about to kick
your carrot butt!
930
00:40:13,868 --> 00:40:16,298
Let me tell you something,
Mr. broccoli.
931
00:40:16,303 --> 00:40:18,472
When the carrot
is done with you,
932
00:40:18,473 --> 00:40:20,740
you will be nothing
but a kumquat!
933
00:40:20,741 --> 00:40:24,208
I will destroy everything in
this world that is broccoli.
934
00:40:24,209 --> 00:40:26,679
The carrot is the lowest
form of vegetable!
935
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,208
Hey. Hey! What about me?
936
00:40:29,213 --> 00:40:30,583
Nobody likes broccoli.
937
00:40:30,584 --> 00:40:34,281
Really? Well, Ben likes
broccoli, don't you, Ben?
938
00:40:34,751 --> 00:40:36,551
No.
939
00:40:36,552 --> 00:40:40,587
You turned my own sprout against me?
Now you're gonna die!
940
00:40:40,588 --> 00:40:41,648
[Laughing]
941
00:40:42,956 --> 00:40:44,416
[Screams]
942
00:40:51,630 --> 00:40:53,300
[All cheering]
943
00:40:55,666 --> 00:40:56,726
[Growling]
944
00:40:58,568 --> 00:41:01,298
OK, come on.
I felt that.
945
00:41:01,304 --> 00:41:04,572
Hey, hey, hey,
hey. Hey! OK!
946
00:41:04,573 --> 00:41:05,613
Come on!
947
00:41:06,274 --> 00:41:07,841
Will you stop it?
948
00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:09,142
[Growls]
949
00:41:09,143 --> 00:41:10,543
Ahhh! That's it.
950
00:41:12,312 --> 00:41:13,382
[All cheering]
951
00:41:14,513 --> 00:41:16,813
Ah! Hey, hey, hey!
What's that about?
952
00:41:16,815 --> 00:41:18,945
I'm sorry.
You made me crazy!
953
00:41:18,950 --> 00:41:21,780
You little maniac, you! Wreckin'
my wife's tables and stuff.
954
00:41:21,786 --> 00:41:23,016
[Doorbell rings]
955
00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:26,050
Somebody's at the door.
Ah! My back.
956
00:41:28,924 --> 00:41:30,057
Hey, hi.
957
00:41:30,058 --> 00:41:31,788
[Screams]
958
00:41:31,793 --> 00:41:36,128
Is this the, uh,
the Hinton residence?
959
00:41:36,129 --> 00:41:38,296
I'm Dan Kubitz, child services.
960
00:41:38,297 --> 00:41:41,497
I'm here to, uh, conduct
a compliance inspection.
961
00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:43,800
Inspection? No one said
anything about any inspection.
962
00:41:43,802 --> 00:41:45,971
Well, we only do it if we
receive a complaint.
963
00:41:45,972 --> 00:41:48,300
A complaint?
Somebody complained about...
964
00:41:48,305 --> 00:41:51,405
Well, come on in. You can inspect us.
We got nothing to hide.
965
00:41:51,409 --> 00:41:54,539
Um, you caught us at a crazy time.
We're playing with the kids.
966
00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:56,805
Somebody... somebody complained
about us?
967
00:41:58,915 --> 00:42:01,245
So, wh-where is the nap area?
968
00:42:02,117 --> 00:42:04,017
Right. P area?
969
00:42:04,018 --> 00:42:05,918
Uh, we don't really
have a nap area.
970
00:42:05,919 --> 00:42:08,949
We just let them fall asleep
wherever they drop.
971
00:42:08,955 --> 00:42:12,855
OK, "sleep where they drop." Well, you know,
I think that should just about do it.
972
00:42:12,858 --> 00:42:14,758
Um, what's the bottom line?
973
00:42:14,759 --> 00:42:19,259
Well, you need to correct
the deficiencies on this form.
974
00:42:19,263 --> 00:42:20,363
OK.
975
00:42:20,364 --> 00:42:21,764
And also,
976
00:42:21,765 --> 00:42:25,865
you need to fill out these
compliance certification documents.
977
00:42:25,868 --> 00:42:27,998
Who wants these,
the carrot or the broccoli?
978
00:42:28,003 --> 00:42:29,903
Carrot.
979
00:42:29,904 --> 00:42:32,204
There's a lot of stuff on here.
980
00:42:32,206 --> 00:42:33,666
(Phil)
So we can stay open, right?
981
00:42:33,674 --> 00:42:36,314
As long you have that done by 9 A.M.
tomorrow morning.
982
00:42:36,315 --> 00:42:38,276
9 A.M.? 9 A.M.
983
00:42:38,277 --> 00:42:41,107
Hey good luck with this. I... I like
what you guys are doing here.
984
00:42:41,113 --> 00:42:43,283
I... I don't wanna be the guy
that has to shut you down.
985
00:42:43,284 --> 00:42:45,281
Yeah, we'd hate for you
to be that guy.
986
00:42:45,283 --> 00:42:47,053
I will be. Don't wanna be.
987
00:42:48,385 --> 00:42:51,345
OK. Safety gates
at the bottom of the stairs,
988
00:42:51,354 --> 00:42:54,356
top of the stairs,
bedrooms, bathrooms.
989
00:42:54,357 --> 00:42:56,717
I've gone safety gate crazy.
990
00:42:56,726 --> 00:42:59,086
Hey, how many kids
have we taken care of?
991
00:42:59,095 --> 00:43:01,425
I've lost track,
they run so fast.
992
00:43:01,430 --> 00:43:04,260
Well, you can get started on
this little batch over here.
993
00:43:04,266 --> 00:43:07,026
Ah, you know, it's getting kinda late.
Let's just call it a night.
994
00:43:07,035 --> 00:43:10,595
No, we cannot call it a night. We got a
bunch of kids showin' up here in 5 hours.
995
00:43:10,605 --> 00:43:13,705
I'm serious. We don't know anything
about running a day care center.
996
00:43:13,708 --> 00:43:16,208
We don't know anything.
We're not even good parents!
997
00:43:16,210 --> 00:43:17,440
I'm a good parent.
998
00:43:17,444 --> 00:43:18,544
[Snorts]
999
00:43:18,545 --> 00:43:19,575
[Snorts]
1000
00:43:19,579 --> 00:43:21,046
What? Does that mean?
1001
00:43:21,047 --> 00:43:23,447
That thing.
What is that?
1002
00:43:23,449 --> 00:43:26,019
Uh, you know that rocket
ship thing you do?
1003
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:27,318
Ben doesn't even like that.
1004
00:43:27,319 --> 00:43:29,389
First of all, you don't know
what you're talkin' about,
1005
00:43:29,390 --> 00:43:31,487
'cause that happens to be
Ben's favorite thing.
1006
00:43:31,489 --> 00:43:34,259
Well, I've seen it, OK? He only
lets you do it because you like it,
1007
00:43:34,260 --> 00:43:36,218
it's the only time
you pay attention to him.
1008
00:43:36,226 --> 00:43:37,986
You don't even change
your kid's diapers.
1009
00:43:37,994 --> 00:43:39,527
I don't like diapers.
1010
00:43:39,528 --> 00:43:42,028
Well, you should teach your kid how
to go to the toilet and aim, too,
1011
00:43:42,030 --> 00:43:44,500
so every time he goes we don't
have to redecorate the place.
1012
00:43:44,501 --> 00:43:45,759
You're right.
You're right.
1013
00:43:45,766 --> 00:43:47,326
Let me tell you somethin'.
1014
00:43:47,334 --> 00:43:50,404
My kid is 4 years old, and for the
first time today, I saw him playin',
1015
00:43:50,405 --> 00:43:53,071
havin' a good time with the other
kids, just being a normal kid.
1016
00:43:53,072 --> 00:43:55,272
I made me feel great, that I
had somethin' to do with that.
1017
00:43:55,274 --> 00:43:56,374
We did that!
1018
00:43:56,375 --> 00:43:58,375
If we can do that,
we can definitely
1019
00:43:58,377 --> 00:44:00,037
get this place up
to code by dawn.
1020
00:44:01,413 --> 00:44:03,881
Let's go safety gate crazy.
1021
00:44:03,882 --> 00:44:05,916
(Phil) Don't worry,
he's gonna be fine, OK?
1022
00:44:05,917 --> 00:44:06,917
It's all right.
1023
00:44:06,918 --> 00:44:09,078
[Dylan screaming]
1024
00:44:11,822 --> 00:44:13,152
All I got is $5.
1025
00:44:13,156 --> 00:44:14,556
I can break that.
1026
00:44:14,557 --> 00:44:19,026
Hey. Hey, listen. I left the
paperwork on the kitchen table.
1027
00:44:19,027 --> 00:44:21,457
It's not there.
Please tell me you have it.
1028
00:44:21,462 --> 00:44:22,892
I don't have it.
1029
00:44:24,564 --> 00:44:26,104
[Children yelling]
1030
00:44:30,135 --> 00:44:31,625
[Knocking on door]
1031
00:44:32,136 --> 00:44:33,266
Hey, guys.
1032
00:44:33,270 --> 00:44:34,870
(Charlie)
Marvin, what are you doing?
1033
00:44:34,871 --> 00:44:38,571
The, uh, door was unlocked. I
got your final paychecks here.
1034
00:44:38,574 --> 00:44:39,614
Thanks.
1035
00:44:40,875 --> 00:44:42,665
So, what's going on here?
1036
00:44:44,344 --> 00:44:46,344
Well, we...
don't even ask.
1037
00:44:46,346 --> 00:44:47,406
Hey.
1038
00:44:48,313 --> 00:44:49,953
[Speaking Klingon]
1039
00:44:51,949 --> 00:44:53,579
[Speaking Klingon]
1040
00:44:53,583 --> 00:44:54,783
Hija.
1041
00:44:54,784 --> 00:44:56,124
[Responding in Klingon]
1042
00:44:57,819 --> 00:44:58,879
[Speaking Klingon]
1043
00:45:01,121 --> 00:45:02,851
You can understand him?
1044
00:45:02,856 --> 00:45:04,816
Yeah. Yeah,
he's speaking Klingon.
1045
00:45:04,824 --> 00:45:07,362
Oh, that's Klingon. I thought
the kid was an idiot.
1046
00:45:07,363 --> 00:45:10,289
God, how much Star Trek
does that kid watch?
1047
00:45:10,295 --> 00:45:11,525
[Knocking on door]
1048
00:45:11,529 --> 00:45:13,559
Charlie, the guy from
child services is here.
1049
00:45:13,564 --> 00:45:14,564
Oh, man.
1050
00:45:14,565 --> 00:45:15,625
Sorry.
1051
00:45:15,632 --> 00:45:17,501
No, no, listen.
Why don't you do me a favor?
1052
00:45:17,502 --> 00:45:20,568
Why don't you take the kids in the
back and play with them for a while?
1053
00:45:20,569 --> 00:45:22,969
Keep their attention for a
while, while I talk to this guy.
1054
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:25,771
Whatever you do, don't let this big
bruiser get near the lawnmower.
1055
00:45:25,773 --> 00:45:27,540
Thanks, Marvin.
1056
00:45:27,541 --> 00:45:28,641
(Charlie)
Hey,
1057
00:45:28,642 --> 00:45:29,908
Mr. Kubitz. Hi.
1058
00:45:29,909 --> 00:45:31,378
I thought I was early, but...
1059
00:45:31,379 --> 00:45:33,507
I was just getting
all the paperwork.
1060
00:45:33,512 --> 00:45:34,842
Great. Great.
1061
00:45:35,413 --> 00:45:36,683
You dropped something.
1062
00:45:36,684 --> 00:45:37,810
Yeah.
1063
00:45:39,248 --> 00:45:40,678
The kids wanted to help out.
1064
00:45:40,682 --> 00:45:41,952
Oh! Oh, that's sweet.
1065
00:45:41,953 --> 00:45:44,549
Yeah. So here's everything
for you.
1066
00:45:44,551 --> 00:45:48,787
What I'll need is your signature
on the back of her head.
1067
00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:51,088
And on the elbow of this kid.
1068
00:45:51,090 --> 00:45:52,590
Oh, do you have a pen?
1069
00:45:52,591 --> 00:45:54,158
I do have a pen.
1070
00:45:54,159 --> 00:45:55,759
This is my lucky pen.
1071
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:57,490
Ah, thank you.
1072
00:45:57,495 --> 00:45:59,055
And where's on the...
1073
00:45:59,063 --> 00:46:00,797
initial... initial
the elbow.
1074
00:46:00,798 --> 00:46:01,798
OK.
1075
00:46:01,799 --> 00:46:03,029
Sign the back of her head.
1076
00:46:03,033 --> 00:46:04,666
Yeah. R neck? OK.
1077
00:46:04,667 --> 00:46:06,167
Great. That should
just about do it.
1078
00:46:06,168 --> 00:46:07,528
Here we go.
OK.
1079
00:46:07,536 --> 00:46:09,236
You're ready to roll.
1080
00:46:09,237 --> 00:46:12,137
Let's go in and get started.
1081
00:46:12,139 --> 00:46:15,508
Well, you know,
everything looks OK here,
1082
00:46:15,509 --> 00:46:18,579
but it says here
that you now have 11 children.
1083
00:46:18,580 --> 00:46:19,838
That's correct.
1084
00:46:19,845 --> 00:46:21,005
Yeah, yeah.
1085
00:46:21,012 --> 00:46:24,547
So I assume that you've hired
a 3rd care provider.
1086
00:46:24,548 --> 00:46:26,578
Why would you just assume that?
1087
00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:31,083
Well, section 768 of the child
welfare code specifically states
1088
00:46:31,086 --> 00:46:35,146
that the ratio of children to
care providers cannot exceed 5:1.
1089
00:46:35,155 --> 00:46:36,145
The 768.04.
1090
00:46:36,156 --> 00:46:37,156
768.04.
1091
00:46:37,157 --> 00:46:38,417
The ratio.
1092
00:46:38,424 --> 00:46:40,324
The ratio thingy. We
resolved that this morning.
1093
00:46:40,325 --> 00:46:41,615
We resolved that this morning.
1094
00:46:41,626 --> 00:46:42,726
Good. Good.
1095
00:46:42,727 --> 00:46:44,487
We hired someone.Eone.
1096
00:46:44,495 --> 00:46:46,355
Marvin, Marvin..
1097
00:46:46,363 --> 00:46:47,396
Yeah.
1098
00:46:47,397 --> 00:46:50,057
Marvin has been hired!
1099
00:46:50,066 --> 00:46:52,426
He's an excellent
right outside with the kids.
1100
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:55,365
Well, I'd love to take a look,
if that's OK with you.
1101
00:46:55,371 --> 00:46:57,338
Oh, you want to go out there?
1102
00:46:57,339 --> 00:46:59,769
I think it's probably a good
idea for me to see for myself.
1103
00:46:59,774 --> 00:47:01,574
Let's go and have
a look at Marvin.
1104
00:47:01,575 --> 00:47:03,505
[Gibbering]
1105
00:47:07,347 --> 00:47:09,977
Now, put your hands up!
Now, wave 'em!
1106
00:47:09,982 --> 00:47:12,882
[Squawking]
1107
00:47:12,884 --> 00:47:16,054
You know, h-he certainly seems like...
like he knows what he's doing.
1108
00:47:16,055 --> 00:47:17,322
Oh, yeah, of course.
1109
00:47:17,323 --> 00:47:18,620
I've got to say that.
1110
00:47:18,621 --> 00:47:21,051
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we had to
interview a lot of people.
1111
00:47:21,056 --> 00:47:24,716
Yeah, it was a really long, grueling,
singling-out process for...
1112
00:47:24,725 --> 00:47:25,755
[Gibbering]
1113
00:47:25,759 --> 00:47:27,126
[Gasps]
1114
00:47:27,127 --> 00:47:28,487
[Children gasping]
1115
00:47:30,029 --> 00:47:32,129
(Marvin)
And now, I'm a chicken.
1116
00:47:32,131 --> 00:47:35,766
I'm a bird.
Look, I'm a bird.
1117
00:47:35,767 --> 00:47:39,197
You can never be too careful when
it comes to kids. You can't.
1118
00:47:39,203 --> 00:47:41,703
And here at daddy day care we
only want to work with the best.
1119
00:47:41,705 --> 00:47:44,365
So, we got the top of the
notch and that's Marvin.
1120
00:47:46,408 --> 00:47:47,968
Sorry.
1121
00:47:47,976 --> 00:47:50,006
Shh. Sorry.
1122
00:47:50,011 --> 00:47:51,641
What did you do to these kids?
1123
00:47:51,645 --> 00:47:52,675
What?
1124
00:47:52,679 --> 00:47:54,109
Are they on drugs?
1125
00:47:54,113 --> 00:47:56,282
Oh, there's this one,
one kid, maybe.
1126
00:47:56,283 --> 00:47:58,511
How'd you get them
to behave like this?
1127
00:47:58,516 --> 00:48:00,076
Just got to know
how to handle them.
1128
00:48:00,084 --> 00:48:01,824
How do you know
how to handle them?
1129
00:48:01,825 --> 00:48:05,488
I read Dr. Spock's babyand child care book.
1130
00:48:05,489 --> 00:48:08,119
It's not about Star Trek.
1131
00:48:08,124 --> 00:48:09,124
Huh?
1132
00:48:09,892 --> 00:48:11,592
I'm gonna finish.
1133
00:48:11,593 --> 00:48:12,693
Yeah. Yeah
1134
00:48:12,694 --> 00:48:16,329
[Marvin and kids squawking]
1135
00:48:16,330 --> 00:48:18,800
You know,
when... when I was in the back,
1136
00:48:18,801 --> 00:48:22,268
I spotted, under... under the
eaves of the, um, of the porch
1137
00:48:22,269 --> 00:48:25,699
what looked like a beehive.
A really big beehive.
1138
00:48:25,705 --> 00:48:27,035
Don't worry.
All taken care of.
1139
00:48:27,039 --> 00:48:28,609
I don't want
anybody getting hurt.
1140
00:48:28,610 --> 00:48:30,107
No hurt. Gone.
1141
00:48:30,108 --> 00:48:32,538
Guys, you should be proud. You really
have turned this thing around.
1142
00:48:32,543 --> 00:48:33,680
Thank you very much.
1143
00:48:33,681 --> 00:48:34,907
I'm impressed.
I really am.
1144
00:48:34,911 --> 00:48:37,181
Thank you very much.
And for our own curiosity,
1145
00:48:37,182 --> 00:48:38,949
this little complaint
that you guys got...
1146
00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:41,108
any chance you could tell
us where it came from?
1147
00:48:41,116 --> 00:48:42,646
I'd love to.
I really would love to.
1148
00:48:42,650 --> 00:48:45,450
But that... that... because... I have
a relationship with the state.
1149
00:48:45,452 --> 00:48:47,082
Just for our own curiosity.
1150
00:48:47,086 --> 00:48:48,986
Oh, that was miss harridan.
1151
00:48:48,987 --> 00:48:50,547
(Charlie)
I'm sure she'll see us.
1152
00:48:50,555 --> 00:48:52,085
We need to talk to you.
1153
00:48:52,089 --> 00:48:54,219
Sorry, miss harridan,
they just barged right in.
1154
00:48:54,224 --> 00:48:56,224
That's quite all right, Jenny.
1155
00:48:56,226 --> 00:48:58,286
Gentlemen, please sit down.
1156
00:49:01,864 --> 00:49:04,732
Now, what can I do for you?
1157
00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:06,971
We wanted to come down
and personally thank you
1158
00:49:06,972 --> 00:49:09,168
for helping to expedite
our accreditation process.
1159
00:49:09,170 --> 00:49:12,440
Thanks to your anonymous tips, somebody
from child services came to see us.
1160
00:49:12,441 --> 00:49:15,409
I had heard you'd opened
some sort of day care program,
1161
00:49:15,410 --> 00:49:18,176
and, uh, well, I was concerned.
1162
00:49:18,177 --> 00:49:21,077
That's very nice of you. But you
don't have to be concerned about us.
1163
00:49:21,079 --> 00:49:23,048
Oh, it's not you
I'm concerned about.
1164
00:49:23,049 --> 00:49:25,007
It's the children
you're looking after.
1165
00:49:25,015 --> 00:49:27,645
Hey, wait a minute. We're parents,
all right. That's a start.
1166
00:49:27,650 --> 00:49:29,250
Any boob can be a parent.
1167
00:49:29,251 --> 00:49:32,021
If you want to screw up your
own child, that's your right.
1168
00:49:32,022 --> 00:49:34,150
But when it comes
to other people's children,
1169
00:49:34,155 --> 00:49:36,215
there's a higher standard
to answer to.
1170
00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:39,123
Oh, well, Mr. Kubitz seems to
think that we met that standard.
1171
00:49:39,125 --> 00:49:40,515
Show her the thing.
1172
00:49:40,526 --> 00:49:42,986
That piece of paper
doesn't impress me.
1173
00:49:42,995 --> 00:49:45,955
Uh, we're getting it laminated.
1174
00:49:45,964 --> 00:49:50,000
You 2 are just some fly-by-night
operation looking to make a fast buck.
1175
00:49:50,001 --> 00:49:52,071
You're just afraid of the competition.
That's all.
1176
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:53,538
Come on, let's get out of here.
1177
00:49:53,539 --> 00:49:55,937
Competition?
Don't flatter yourselves.
1178
00:49:55,939 --> 00:49:59,909
Daddy day care will never be in the
same league as this institution.
1179
00:50:01,310 --> 00:50:03,210
Laminated!
1180
00:50:03,211 --> 00:50:06,580
For some reason, that just wasn't as
satisfying as I thought it was gonna be.
1181
00:50:06,581 --> 00:50:08,081
You know,
I think we can take her.
1182
00:50:08,082 --> 00:50:10,182
All we need is a clove of
garlic and a wooden stake.
1183
00:50:10,184 --> 00:50:12,754
Hey, hey, hey, you know what she
said that was right just now?
1184
00:50:12,755 --> 00:50:14,522
These kids need
more than just watching.
1185
00:50:14,523 --> 00:50:16,121
Tomorrow we gotta
take it up a notch.
1186
00:50:16,122 --> 00:50:18,792
We got to start stimulating
their minds a little bit.
1187
00:50:18,793 --> 00:50:20,261
[Birds chirping]
1188
00:50:21,260 --> 00:50:22,690
But I'm not a daddy.
1189
00:50:22,694 --> 00:50:24,331
You don't have to be a daddy.
1190
00:50:24,332 --> 00:50:27,528
You're a male-type humanoid. That fits
in with the philosophy of the place.
1191
00:50:27,531 --> 00:50:31,031
I don't know, guys. I mean, I guess
I... I like hanging out with the kids.
1192
00:50:31,034 --> 00:50:32,367
It's kind of cool.
1193
00:50:32,368 --> 00:50:36,637
But, uh, I guess child-care
wasn't necessarily an Avenue
1194
00:50:36,638 --> 00:50:38,938
that I felt professionally
I was headed towards.
1195
00:50:38,940 --> 00:50:40,209
That's exactly what I said.
1196
00:50:40,210 --> 00:50:41,337
[Knocking at door]
1197
00:50:41,341 --> 00:50:43,241
Excuse me.
Yes, come on in!
1198
00:50:43,242 --> 00:50:44,672
[Door squeaking]
1199
00:50:44,676 --> 00:50:46,106
Oh, hey, how are you?
1200
00:50:46,110 --> 00:50:47,410
Hey, guys.
1201
00:50:47,411 --> 00:50:50,511
I am so sorry. I forgot to
write you a check this week.
1202
00:50:50,514 --> 00:50:52,784
Ever since the divorce,
my head's just been like...
1203
00:50:52,785 --> 00:50:53,912
[Whistling]
1204
00:50:53,916 --> 00:50:56,076
♪ Ooh, dream Weaver ♪
1205
00:50:56,084 --> 00:50:57,052
hi.
1206
00:50:57,053 --> 00:50:58,051
Oh, hi.
1207
00:50:58,052 --> 00:50:59,052
Hi.
1208
00:50:59,053 --> 00:51:00,223
Are you the new daddy?
1209
00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:01,590
I'm your daddy.
1210
00:51:03,222 --> 00:51:04,752
[Snickering]
1211
00:51:04,756 --> 00:51:06,286
I'm not your daddy.
1212
00:51:07,257 --> 00:51:08,287
But I'm your baby's daddy.
1213
00:51:08,291 --> 00:51:09,291
I'm not...
1214
00:51:09,292 --> 00:51:10,422
[Laughing]
1215
00:51:10,426 --> 00:51:13,956
I'm not your baby's daddy.
I'm going to be...
1216
00:51:14,395 --> 00:51:16,085
I'm... I'm...
1217
00:51:16,663 --> 00:51:18,233
You're Marvin.
1218
00:51:20,198 --> 00:51:21,628
Marvin.
1219
00:51:21,632 --> 00:51:25,602
Well, it's nice to meet you,
Marvin. I'm Kelli.
1220
00:51:26,369 --> 00:51:28,039
Dylan's mom.
1221
00:51:28,704 --> 00:51:30,071
[Chuckles]
1222
00:51:30,072 --> 00:51:31,772
Ah, well...
1223
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:33,940
I got to run.
1224
00:51:33,941 --> 00:51:35,041
Oh, yeah, thank you.
1225
00:51:35,042 --> 00:51:36,172
All right.
Bye, guys.
1226
00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:37,306
OK, have... have a good one.
1227
00:51:37,310 --> 00:51:38,376
Thanks.
1228
00:51:38,377 --> 00:51:39,377
Bye.
1229
00:51:39,378 --> 00:51:41,578
I'm in.
Do you have a dental plan?
1230
00:51:42,547 --> 00:51:44,207
All right, Marvin.
1231
00:51:44,215 --> 00:51:47,345
Your first assignment is to show us how
you handle those kids the way you do.
1232
00:51:47,351 --> 00:51:48,918
Teach us.
1233
00:51:48,919 --> 00:51:51,419
Let's put it this way. If this were a
business, and they were customers,
1234
00:51:51,421 --> 00:51:52,951
how do you find out
what they want?
1235
00:51:52,955 --> 00:51:54,515
I'd put together a focus group.
1236
00:51:54,523 --> 00:51:56,290
All right, let's do it.
1237
00:51:56,291 --> 00:51:59,831
What we'd like is for you to tell us what
you'd like to get out of daddy day care.
1238
00:51:59,832 --> 00:52:02,387
Help us to help you.
1239
00:52:03,063 --> 00:52:04,633
Who'd like to start?
1240
00:52:06,799 --> 00:52:09,529
We need more learning
about things.
1241
00:52:09,535 --> 00:52:11,395
More learning about things?
1242
00:52:11,403 --> 00:52:12,503
Yes.
1243
00:52:12,504 --> 00:52:15,272
We're at a very critical age.
1244
00:52:15,273 --> 00:52:17,641
You have to feed our minds.
1245
00:52:17,642 --> 00:52:19,982
OK, all right. You want to
write that down, Marvin?
1246
00:52:19,983 --> 00:52:23,007
"Feed our minds."
1247
00:52:23,013 --> 00:52:25,453
Great. OK, what else?
1248
00:52:26,848 --> 00:52:30,078
Dolphins.
Dolphins are good.
1249
00:52:30,084 --> 00:52:31,517
Dolphins are fish.
1250
00:52:31,518 --> 00:52:32,618
No, they're not.
1251
00:52:32,619 --> 00:52:34,319
Uh-huh, they live in water.
1252
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:35,820
That doesn't mean they're fish.
1253
00:52:35,821 --> 00:52:38,221
Hey, hey, hey, let's calm down.
Lets about something else.
1254
00:52:38,223 --> 00:52:40,363
What else would you like
to talk about?
1255
00:52:40,364 --> 00:52:42,288
Where do babies come from?
1256
00:52:42,293 --> 00:52:43,760
Um...
1257
00:52:43,761 --> 00:52:46,931
Why don't we go back to the dolphin
subject and discuss dolphins,
1258
00:52:46,932 --> 00:52:50,060
or if there's anything else on someone
else's mind that we can talk about
1259
00:52:50,066 --> 00:52:51,426
other than that.
1260
00:52:51,434 --> 00:52:52,834
Write that down.
1261
00:52:53,402 --> 00:52:54,769
OK, what else?
1262
00:52:54,770 --> 00:52:56,900
Could we, um...
1263
00:52:56,905 --> 00:52:59,635
What were you
getting ready to say, Ben?
1264
00:52:59,641 --> 00:53:02,041
Come on, I can see you were
getting ready to say something.
1265
00:53:02,043 --> 00:53:03,543
What is it, son?
1266
00:53:03,544 --> 00:53:05,584
More, um...
1267
00:53:06,446 --> 00:53:07,676
Drawing?
1268
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:08,846
More drawings?
1269
00:53:08,847 --> 00:53:13,117
Yeah! Like pictures and stuff.
It's really fun.
1270
00:53:14,885 --> 00:53:16,985
OK, yeah, great.
More drawings.
1271
00:53:16,987 --> 00:53:19,017
(Kids)
Yeah! Yeah!
1272
00:53:19,022 --> 00:53:20,692
(Tony)
More chasing bad guys.
1273
00:53:20,693 --> 00:53:22,290
Excellent idea.
1274
00:53:22,291 --> 00:53:23,821
We can chase joker.
1275
00:53:23,825 --> 00:53:26,525
Well, wait a second, buddy.
That's Batman's bad guy.
1276
00:53:26,527 --> 00:53:29,457
You're flash,
so you want to be chasing...
1277
00:53:29,463 --> 00:53:30,930
Lex Luthor?
1278
00:53:30,931 --> 00:53:32,731
No. That's superman.
1279
00:53:32,732 --> 00:53:37,232
You want to be chasing captain boomerang,
gorilla grodd, reverse flash...
1280
00:53:37,235 --> 00:53:38,595
the riddler?
1281
00:53:39,570 --> 00:53:41,670
What have you been doing
to these kids?
1282
00:53:41,672 --> 00:53:43,842
♪[Ballroom blitz
by the sweet playing]♪
1283
00:53:45,174 --> 00:53:47,308
♪ All right, fellas ♪
1284
00:53:47,309 --> 00:53:50,179
♪ let's go ♪
1285
00:53:57,852 --> 00:54:00,152
♪ oh, it's been getting
so hard ♪
1286
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:03,254
♪ living with the things
you do to me ♪
1287
00:54:04,557 --> 00:54:06,717
[yelling]
1288
00:54:06,725 --> 00:54:09,355
♪ My dreams are getting
so strange ♪
1289
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,190
♪ I'd like to tell you
everything I see ♪
1290
00:54:14,830 --> 00:54:18,060
♪ oh, I see a man at the back,
as a matter of fact ♪
1291
00:54:18,066 --> 00:54:19,966
♪ his eyes are as red
as the sun ♪
1292
00:54:19,967 --> 00:54:22,497
♪ and a girl in the corner,
let no one ignore her ♪
1293
00:54:22,502 --> 00:54:24,602
♪ cause she thinks
she's the passionate one ♪
1294
00:54:24,604 --> 00:54:28,239
♪ oh, yeah!
It was like lightning ♪
1295
00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:30,440
♪ everybody was fighting ♪
1296
00:54:30,442 --> 00:54:32,576
♪ and the music was soothing ♪
1297
00:54:32,577 --> 00:54:34,937
♪ and they all
started grooving ♪
1298
00:54:34,946 --> 00:54:37,946
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah ♪
1299
00:54:37,949 --> 00:54:40,179
♪ and the man in the back said
everyone attack ♪
1300
00:54:40,184 --> 00:54:42,151
♪ and it turned
into a ballroom blitz ♪
1301
00:54:42,152 --> 00:54:44,522
♪ and the girl in the corner
said boy I want to warn you ♪
1302
00:54:44,523 --> 00:54:46,221
♪ it'll turn
into a ballroom blitz ♪
1303
00:54:46,222 --> 00:54:49,722
♪ ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz ♪
1304
00:54:59,367 --> 00:55:02,297
♪ oh, reaching out
for something ♪
1305
00:55:02,303 --> 00:55:05,103
♪ touching nothing's
all I ever do ♪
1306
00:55:05,105 --> 00:55:06,435
[all yelling]
1307
00:55:08,073 --> 00:55:10,541
♪ Oh, I softly call you over ♪
1308
00:55:10,542 --> 00:55:12,425
[crashing]
1309
00:55:12,426 --> 00:55:14,346
♪ When you appear
there's nothing left of you ♪
1310
00:55:15,146 --> 00:55:16,576
[cheering]
1311
00:55:17,881 --> 00:55:19,950
♪ And the man in the back
is ready to crack ♪
1312
00:55:19,951 --> 00:55:22,179
♪ as he raises his hands
to the sky ♪
1313
00:55:22,185 --> 00:55:24,685
♪ and the girl in the corner
is everyone's mourner ♪
1314
00:55:24,687 --> 00:55:26,947
♪ she could kill you
with a wink of her eye ♪
1315
00:55:26,955 --> 00:55:30,615
♪ oh, yeah! It was electric ♪
1316
00:55:30,625 --> 00:55:32,785
♪ so perfectly hectic ♪
1317
00:55:32,793 --> 00:55:34,893
♪ and the band
started leaving ♪
1318
00:55:34,895 --> 00:55:37,055
♪ 'cause they all
stopped breathing ♪
1319
00:55:37,063 --> 00:55:39,863
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah ♪
1320
00:55:39,865 --> 00:55:42,825
♪ ballroom blitz ♪%
1321
00:55:44,201 --> 00:55:46,671
starting tomorrow,
Phil is gonna be hosting
1322
00:55:46,672 --> 00:55:49,070
a three stooges film
festival in the T.V. Room.
1323
00:55:49,072 --> 00:55:51,241
I know everybody's looking
forward to that, right?
1324
00:55:51,242 --> 00:55:52,409
(Max)
Thanks, daddy!
1325
00:55:52,410 --> 00:55:53,837
And last, but not least,
1326
00:55:53,841 --> 00:55:56,111
the thumb suckers support group
is going to be having a meeting
1327
00:55:56,112 --> 00:55:58,278
under the tree immediately
following, uh, nap time,
1328
00:55:58,279 --> 00:56:00,507
which starts right after
you guys finish your snack.
1329
00:56:00,512 --> 00:56:04,582
So, after you finish, grab a blanket, get
a spot, and we have, uh, we have that.
1330
00:56:04,583 --> 00:56:07,481
Also, next week is going
to be Alpha girls group.
1331
00:56:07,483 --> 00:56:10,421
And we're going to have
tai chi under the tree.
1332
00:56:10,422 --> 00:56:13,719
And we're going to also have pet
day, so you bring your pets in,
1333
00:56:13,722 --> 00:56:16,322
(kid)
Cool. Have pet show-and-tell.
1334
00:56:16,324 --> 00:56:20,392
This is my bunny.
His name is tiny.
1335
00:56:20,393 --> 00:56:23,728
I feed him a lot.
5 times a day.
1336
00:56:23,729 --> 00:56:27,259
He poops a lot, too.
6 times a day.
1337
00:56:27,265 --> 00:56:29,425
It's like little marbles.
1338
00:56:29,433 --> 00:56:31,667
This is my turtle, sparks.
1339
00:56:31,668 --> 00:56:35,838
He's fast. He's the fastest
turtle in the world.
1340
00:56:39,507 --> 00:56:42,367
Go! Go, sparks, go!
1341
00:56:45,946 --> 00:56:50,246
This is my parrot, Paulie. I'm
teaching him to talk. Talk.
1342
00:56:50,249 --> 00:56:52,879
Shut up, butthead.
Shut up, butthead.
1343
00:56:52,884 --> 00:56:54,524
[Speaking Klingon]
1344
00:56:59,522 --> 00:57:01,222
(Charlie) OK, Becca,
where's your pet?
1345
00:57:01,223 --> 00:57:05,258
I had a tarantula,
but I don't know where he is.
1346
00:57:05,259 --> 00:57:08,789
OK, all right, don't panic.
Don't panic.
1347
00:57:08,795 --> 00:57:11,755
What do you mean, don't panic? There's
a big spider in here somewhere.
1348
00:57:11,764 --> 00:57:13,264
I got a spider on my head!
1349
00:57:13,265 --> 00:57:15,895
[All laughing]
1350
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:18,730
So what are we betting on today?
1351
00:57:18,735 --> 00:57:20,865
I'm going to do
a diaper stroke, OK?
1352
00:57:20,870 --> 00:57:22,370
All right.
1353
00:57:22,371 --> 00:57:26,441
Well, if it isn't the geniuses
that brought the world veggie-o's.
1354
00:57:27,442 --> 00:57:29,109
So, how's unemployment?
1355
00:57:29,110 --> 00:57:31,210
Actually, I've got the
best job I've ever had.
1356
00:57:31,779 --> 00:57:33,679
Yeah, it's a start-up.
1357
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:36,348
We offer time-management
facilitation
1358
00:57:36,349 --> 00:57:38,118
to mostly working professionals.
1359
00:57:38,119 --> 00:57:40,847
Well, that's a tough market.
Sounds pretty cutthroat.
1360
00:57:40,853 --> 00:57:42,593
Yeah. It's a real blood sport.
1361
00:57:42,594 --> 00:57:44,248
What's the money like?
1362
00:57:44,256 --> 00:57:46,656
Bruce! Let's go, I got Botox.
1363
00:57:47,458 --> 00:57:49,458
Hi, Charlie.
Hi, Phil.
1364
00:57:49,893 --> 00:57:51,126
Hey, crispin.
1365
00:57:51,127 --> 00:57:52,287
What's up, little man?
1366
00:57:52,294 --> 00:57:53,563
How do you know my kid?
1367
00:57:53,564 --> 00:57:56,431
They're his day care teachers,
what do you think?
1368
00:57:57,531 --> 00:58:00,331
Day care?
That's what it is?
1369
00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:04,201
Oh, my God. You're wiping
boogers for a living.
1370
00:58:04,202 --> 00:58:05,472
[Laughing]
1371
00:58:07,103 --> 00:58:10,271
Losers, losers, losers.
1372
00:58:10,272 --> 00:58:13,112
Hey, you're paying us
to do it, too, you know.
1373
00:58:13,113 --> 00:58:14,208
[Mimicking]
1374
00:58:14,209 --> 00:58:15,509
Losers.
1375
00:58:17,445 --> 00:58:19,805
(Charlie) "Do you like
green eggs and ham?"
1376
00:58:19,814 --> 00:58:21,681
(All)
Yeah.
1377
00:58:21,682 --> 00:58:27,052
"I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I
do not like green eggs and ham.
1378
00:58:27,053 --> 00:58:29,653
Would you like
to eat them here or there?"
1379
00:58:29,655 --> 00:58:31,515
(All)
Yeah.
1380
00:58:31,523 --> 00:58:33,523
"I would not like
to eat them anywhere.
1381
00:58:33,525 --> 00:58:35,485
"I do not like
green eggs and ham.
1382
00:58:35,493 --> 00:58:39,662
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am." OK?
1383
00:58:39,663 --> 00:58:42,301
Now, see, he was going, he
was going to punch Sam-I-am,
1384
00:58:42,302 --> 00:58:45,068
but he walked away. You don't punch, see?
He walked away with it.
1385
00:58:45,834 --> 00:58:47,504
[Birds chirping]
1386
00:58:48,302 --> 00:58:49,872
Where's mommy?
1387
00:58:51,137 --> 00:58:53,167
Mommy had to work today.
1388
00:58:54,973 --> 00:58:57,643
Remember when you used
to work all the times?
1389
00:58:57,644 --> 00:58:59,911
Yeah, back when
I had a real job.
1390
00:58:59,912 --> 00:59:02,080
Mmm-hmm.
Do you miss work?
1391
00:59:04,146 --> 00:59:05,746
I guess.
I suppose so.
1392
00:59:05,747 --> 00:59:07,447
I miss it.
1393
00:59:07,448 --> 00:59:09,048
But don't get me wrong.
It's not like
1394
00:59:09,049 --> 00:59:11,218
I don't like hanging out
with you guys, you know.
1395
00:59:11,219 --> 00:59:12,777
It's just that daddy used to be
1396
00:59:12,785 --> 00:59:15,345
a big shot down at work.
1397
00:59:15,354 --> 00:59:17,954
I had my own office
and a big, pretty view.
1398
00:59:17,956 --> 00:59:20,316
Remember that big,
pretty view daddy had?
1399
00:59:20,325 --> 00:59:23,425
I like it when you spin me
around in that cool chair.
1400
00:59:23,428 --> 00:59:25,688
Yeah, that's a cool chair.
1401
00:59:25,696 --> 00:59:27,996
A lot of cool things
about that job.
1402
00:59:28,431 --> 00:59:30,298
Cool chair,
1403
00:59:30,299 --> 00:59:32,829
I had people
working underneath me,
1404
00:59:32,834 --> 00:59:34,371
and, just between you and I,
1405
00:59:34,372 --> 00:59:36,328
the pay wasn't that bad either.
1406
00:59:36,336 --> 00:59:38,096
OK, put that down.
1407
00:59:38,104 --> 00:59:39,504
What do you think of that?
1408
00:59:39,505 --> 00:59:41,065
What is it?
1409
00:59:41,073 --> 00:59:43,643
What do you mean?
It's a dog in the sunshine.
1410
00:59:43,644 --> 00:59:45,011
It doesn't look like one.
1411
00:59:45,012 --> 00:59:46,740
That's because
it's kinda abstract.
1412
00:59:46,745 --> 00:59:48,475
You have to squint
when you look at it.
1413
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:49,710
Squint and look and see.
1414
00:59:49,714 --> 00:59:51,314
And when you see it like this,
1415
00:59:51,315 --> 00:59:52,475
that's abstract.
1416
00:59:52,482 --> 00:59:55,116
Yeah? You see it?
1417
00:59:55,117 --> 00:59:57,647
How about if you tilt
your head to the side?
1418
00:59:57,652 --> 00:59:58,952
No, the other way.
1419
00:59:58,953 --> 01:00:00,653
Still doesn't look like one.
1420
01:00:00,654 --> 01:00:03,054
OK, well, what are you over
there working on, Michelangelo?
1421
01:00:03,056 --> 01:00:04,116
What you got?
1422
01:00:04,123 --> 01:00:05,663
What is that?
1423
01:00:13,463 --> 01:00:15,963
There's nothing abstract
about that, now, is it?
1424
01:00:16,931 --> 01:00:18,001
Thanks.
1425
01:00:19,165 --> 01:00:20,855
That's pretty good.
1426
01:00:20,866 --> 01:00:23,326
You got daddy's head
looking kind of round, though.
1427
01:00:23,335 --> 01:00:25,025
Is my head that round?
1428
01:00:25,036 --> 01:00:27,266
No. But I got
your mustache.
1429
01:00:27,271 --> 01:00:29,901
Yeah, I see.
A nice green mustache.
1430
01:00:29,906 --> 01:00:32,066
That's all right, son.
1431
01:00:32,074 --> 01:00:33,674
All right,
I just paid the mortgage,
1432
01:00:33,675 --> 01:00:35,605
the car loan
and the electric bill.
1433
01:00:35,610 --> 01:00:38,280
Look at the balance
in the checking account.
1434
01:00:38,281 --> 01:00:40,246
74 cents.
1435
01:00:40,247 --> 01:00:42,177
Yeah. That's right,
74 cents.
1436
01:00:42,182 --> 01:00:43,682
You are my superman.
1437
01:00:43,683 --> 01:00:45,083
You got that right.
1438
01:00:45,084 --> 01:00:46,651
I've been working hard,
1439
01:00:46,652 --> 01:00:49,292
and I think it's time to let off a
little of this frustration I have.
1440
01:00:49,293 --> 01:00:51,787
It's time for you to, uh,
take care of your superman.
1441
01:00:51,789 --> 01:00:53,219
My superman.
Come here, baby.
1442
01:00:53,223 --> 01:00:54,489
That's right.
1443
01:00:54,490 --> 01:00:57,890
(Ben) Oh, no, the monster's
going to get me! Oh, no!
1444
01:00:57,893 --> 01:00:58,963
[Sighs]
1445
01:00:59,994 --> 01:01:01,994
It's probably a nightmare.
1446
01:01:01,996 --> 01:01:03,096
[Grunts]
1447
01:01:03,097 --> 01:01:04,297
Be right back.
1448
01:01:04,298 --> 01:01:06,458
OK, hurry up.
Mommy's coming!
1449
01:01:06,466 --> 01:01:08,396
(Ben)
No, I want daddy.
1450
01:01:09,935 --> 01:01:11,725
(Kim)
Did everything go OK?
1451
01:01:11,736 --> 01:01:13,596
Yeah, everything's just fine.
1452
01:01:17,374 --> 01:01:18,574
[Sighs]
1453
01:01:19,242 --> 01:01:21,276
What's that face for?
1454
01:01:21,277 --> 01:01:23,977
Since when does he like you
better than he likes me?
1455
01:01:23,980 --> 01:01:25,910
No, don't even trip.
It's not like that.
1456
01:01:25,915 --> 01:01:28,115
I've just been spending
more time with him,
1457
01:01:28,117 --> 01:01:29,947
so he wanted me.
1458
01:01:29,952 --> 01:01:31,521
He's getting
so much more confident.
1459
01:01:31,522 --> 01:01:34,250
Remember in the beginning, how he
wouldn't play with anybody else?
1460
01:01:34,256 --> 01:01:37,316
Now, he's even playing with
that kid, crispin.
1461
01:01:37,325 --> 01:01:39,655
With crispin, who by the way
happened to say "thank you"
1462
01:01:39,660 --> 01:01:41,160
at lunch today
without being told.
1463
01:01:41,161 --> 01:01:42,991
And that little girl Becca,
she can read.
1464
01:01:42,996 --> 01:01:44,456
She's just a baby.
1465
01:01:44,463 --> 01:01:45,933
I seen her pick up
a curious George book,
1466
01:01:45,934 --> 01:01:48,232
sit down
and read like a grownup.
1467
01:01:48,867 --> 01:01:50,567
What's that face?
1468
01:01:51,735 --> 01:01:53,565
You know, I haven't
seen you this excited
1469
01:01:53,570 --> 01:01:55,400
about something in a long time.
1470
01:01:57,305 --> 01:01:59,705
Yeah, I ain't going to front.
1471
01:01:59,707 --> 01:02:03,076
Them little crumb snatchers
got under my skin.
1472
01:02:03,077 --> 01:02:07,246
Mrs. Plager, I cannot continue
to expose the other children
1473
01:02:07,247 --> 01:02:09,207
to such dangerous,
self-destructive,
1474
01:02:09,215 --> 01:02:10,705
highly addictive behavior.
1475
01:02:10,716 --> 01:02:12,976
So either Juliette
stops the thumb sucking,
1476
01:02:12,984 --> 01:02:16,524
or you'll just have to find
yourself another preschool.
1477
01:02:22,626 --> 01:02:24,786
Um, are you busy?
1478
01:02:24,794 --> 01:02:27,094
Just pruning a few
weeds from the garden.
1479
01:02:27,096 --> 01:02:28,596
What is it?
1480
01:02:28,597 --> 01:02:31,357
OK, I just thought
you should know
1481
01:02:32,133 --> 01:02:34,733
we've lost 3 more students.
1482
01:02:34,735 --> 01:02:37,735
Are you seriously suggesting
you don't know where they are?
1483
01:02:37,738 --> 01:02:39,498
No, ma'am.
1484
01:02:39,506 --> 01:02:40,966
I know where they are.
1485
01:02:40,974 --> 01:02:42,314
So do I.
1486
01:02:45,077 --> 01:02:47,207
Daddy day care.
1487
01:02:47,212 --> 01:02:49,152
First, it was amusing.
1488
01:02:49,747 --> 01:02:52,147
Then it was annoying.
1489
01:02:52,149 --> 01:02:56,079
Now it's really
starting to tick me off.
1490
01:02:56,086 --> 01:02:59,216
Get me a copy of child day
care services regulations.
1491
01:03:06,628 --> 01:03:08,328
[Birds chirping]
1492
01:03:11,165 --> 01:03:12,825
[Phil snoring]
1493
01:03:12,833 --> 01:03:14,166
[Knocking on door]
1494
01:03:14,167 --> 01:03:15,267
Uh-oh.
1495
01:03:15,268 --> 01:03:16,728
(Charlie)
Hey, Phil, get the door.
1496
01:03:16,736 --> 01:03:17,796
(Phil)
Huh?
1497
01:03:17,803 --> 01:03:19,603
Get the door!
1498
01:03:19,604 --> 01:03:20,971
Huh.
1499
01:03:20,972 --> 01:03:23,012
All right, I got it.
I got it.
1500
01:03:23,013 --> 01:03:24,067
[Grunts]
1501
01:03:27,210 --> 01:03:28,710
Oh, Mr. Kubitz.
1502
01:03:28,711 --> 01:03:30,211
What... what are
you doing here?
1503
01:03:30,212 --> 01:03:31,782
Is this...
is this a bad time?
1504
01:03:31,783 --> 01:03:33,580
No, it's a great time.
1505
01:03:33,581 --> 01:03:37,021
Well, is... is the... is the
man of the house at home?
1506
01:03:37,022 --> 01:03:38,817
"Man of the house."
1507
01:03:39,318 --> 01:03:40,648
Charlie!
1508
01:03:40,652 --> 01:03:43,152
Mr. Kubitz is here
from child services!
1509
01:03:43,154 --> 01:03:45,123
(Charlie)
I'll be right there.
1510
01:03:45,124 --> 01:03:48,260
So, uh, let me ask you.
W-w-where are the kids?
1511
01:03:48,261 --> 01:03:50,658
Uh, outside. Marvin's
giving them a puppet show.
1512
01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,329
Nice. What's
on the program?
1513
01:03:52,330 --> 01:03:53,828
Pinocchio?
Little red riding hood?
1514
01:03:53,829 --> 01:03:55,896
No, uh, wrath of Khan.
1515
01:03:55,897 --> 01:03:57,597
Hey, Mr. Kubitz. Hi!
1516
01:03:57,598 --> 01:03:59,728
Hey, you! Wait!
What are you doing?
1517
01:03:59,733 --> 01:04:00,799
What?
1518
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,170
What's wrong with your face?
1519
01:04:02,171 --> 01:04:03,368
My face?
1520
01:04:03,369 --> 01:04:05,269
What's all that stuff, man?
Come on.
1521
01:04:05,270 --> 01:04:06,870
What's the matter with you?
1522
01:04:08,305 --> 01:04:09,965
Becca and Jamie.
1523
01:04:10,707 --> 01:04:12,507
Ah, if you'll excuse me,
1524
01:04:12,508 --> 01:04:14,608
I have to see, uh,
2 little girls
1525
01:04:14,610 --> 01:04:16,240
because now I'm a big girl.
1526
01:04:16,244 --> 01:04:18,444
He's having fun with...
1527
01:04:18,446 --> 01:04:20,376
Mr. Kubitz, so what
brings you here today?
1528
01:04:20,381 --> 01:04:22,751
You know, I've... I've received
another complaint...
1529
01:04:22,752 --> 01:04:25,418
oh, I guess we know
who that came from.
1530
01:04:25,419 --> 01:04:28,289
Well, I understand that...
that you've acquired
1531
01:04:28,290 --> 01:04:30,448
3 more children
since my last visit.
1532
01:04:30,456 --> 01:04:32,316
Yes. We're 14
altogether now.
1533
01:04:32,324 --> 01:04:35,094
But it's still 3 adults, so we're
still under the 5:1 ratio.
1534
01:04:35,095 --> 01:04:36,293
Right.
But you see, Charlie,
1535
01:04:36,294 --> 01:04:38,132
it's a totally
different issue this time.
1536
01:04:38,133 --> 01:04:40,198
Charlie, can I talk
to you for a second?
1537
01:04:40,199 --> 01:04:41,627
Oh, yeah, give me a sec...
1538
01:04:41,631 --> 01:04:43,761
excuse me a second.
I'm going to go handle this.
1539
01:04:43,766 --> 01:04:45,126
Sure. Thanks..
1540
01:04:45,134 --> 01:04:46,804
What's going on?
1541
01:04:54,409 --> 01:04:55,409
What's up?
1542
01:04:55,410 --> 01:04:56,410
Flash is gone.
1543
01:04:56,411 --> 01:04:58,181
What do you mean,
he's gone? Gone where?
1544
01:04:58,182 --> 01:04:59,379
I can't find him.
1545
01:04:59,380 --> 01:05:01,310
You guys looked everywhere?
He's not in the garage?
1546
01:05:01,315 --> 01:05:02,875
Everywhere.
1547
01:05:02,883 --> 01:05:04,020
What're we going to do?
1548
01:05:04,021 --> 01:05:05,777
Is there some kind
of problem out here?
1549
01:05:05,785 --> 01:05:07,245
No. Not at all,
Mr. Kubitz.
1550
01:05:07,253 --> 01:05:09,791
We're just having a little
conversation about the...
1551
01:05:09,792 --> 01:05:11,188
OK, because if it's...
you know...
1552
01:05:11,189 --> 01:05:12,959
no problem at all.
Why... why don't you...
1553
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:14,057
Hey, kids!
1554
01:05:14,058 --> 01:05:16,088
Why don't you meet
our good friend, Mr. Kubitz.
1555
01:05:16,093 --> 01:05:17,159
Say hi.
1556
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:18,827
(All)
Hi, Mr. Kubitz.
1557
01:05:18,828 --> 01:05:20,258
Hi, guys.
1558
01:05:20,262 --> 01:05:22,932
Hey, wouldn't it be nice if Mr.
Kubitz played with you guys
1559
01:05:22,933 --> 01:05:25,131
while we had a little
important conversation?
1560
01:05:25,133 --> 01:05:26,270
Would you be so kind?
1561
01:05:26,271 --> 01:05:27,427
I-is that a good idea?
1562
01:05:27,434 --> 01:05:29,303
Yeah, we're having
a grown-up conversation
1563
01:05:29,304 --> 01:05:30,732
the kids shouldn't be privy to.
1564
01:05:30,736 --> 01:05:32,296
So, just for a second.
Please.
1565
01:05:32,304 --> 01:05:35,172
(Mr. Kubitz)
Oh, sure. That's different.
1566
01:05:35,173 --> 01:05:37,340
I'm gonna go upstairs.Yard.
1567
01:05:37,341 --> 01:05:38,871
I'm gonna check the basement!
1568
01:05:40,343 --> 01:05:42,283
Do we have a basement?
1569
01:05:48,683 --> 01:05:49,953
Flash!
1570
01:05:52,652 --> 01:05:53,922
Flash!
1571
01:05:55,053 --> 01:05:56,323
Flash!
1572
01:06:00,656 --> 01:06:01,986
Flash!
1573
01:06:03,057 --> 01:06:04,317
Flash!
1574
01:06:04,791 --> 01:06:06,021
Flash!
1575
01:06:07,693 --> 01:06:10,063
We have to do the laundry.
God!
1576
01:06:15,867 --> 01:06:17,227
Whoo-hoo!
1577
01:06:19,070 --> 01:06:20,340
Flash!
1578
01:06:24,907 --> 01:06:28,537
Oh, my God!
They vaporized him!
1579
01:06:28,543 --> 01:06:31,313
All right, he couldn't have gotten too far.
I'm gonna call the police.
1580
01:06:31,314 --> 01:06:32,442
I'll call his parents.
1581
01:06:32,446 --> 01:06:34,746
If only I were a betazoid,
I could sense him.
1582
01:06:37,884 --> 01:06:39,653
(Charlie)
Hey, which kid is this?
1583
01:06:39,654 --> 01:06:41,892
I don't know.
Hey, kid, what's your name?
1584
01:06:42,220 --> 01:06:43,450
Tony.
1585
01:06:43,454 --> 01:06:45,054
Tony. Tony.
1586
01:06:45,755 --> 01:06:47,315
Flash's name is Tony.
1587
01:06:47,323 --> 01:06:49,123
Actually, flash's name
is Wally west...
1588
01:06:49,124 --> 01:06:50,424
hey, hey, hey, hey.
1589
01:06:56,096 --> 01:06:58,926
Hey, Tony, how come you aren't
wearing your flash suit?
1590
01:06:58,932 --> 01:07:00,562
I don't want
to be flash anymore.
1591
01:07:00,566 --> 01:07:02,726
You don't want to be flash?
Who do you want to be?
1592
01:07:03,267 --> 01:07:04,467
Tony.
1593
01:07:04,468 --> 01:07:06,398
You want... did you hear that?
He wants to be Tony.
1594
01:07:06,403 --> 01:07:07,736
Wants to be Tony.
1595
01:07:07,737 --> 01:07:10,767
Oh, that's nice. You want to be Tony.
That's great.
1596
01:07:10,773 --> 01:07:12,773
Hey, Tony, have a cookie.
Have a fresh one.
1597
01:07:12,775 --> 01:07:15,605
[In female voice] What are you talking
about? Of course, I love you.
1598
01:07:15,611 --> 01:07:18,041
I'm just not in love with you.
1599
01:07:18,046 --> 01:07:20,776
[In male voice] 15 months of
therapy, that's the best you can do?
1600
01:07:20,782 --> 01:07:24,017
That is the dumbest line
I have ever heard.
1601
01:07:24,018 --> 01:07:25,218
[Sighs]
1602
01:07:25,219 --> 01:07:27,519
My mother was right about you.
1603
01:07:30,055 --> 01:07:31,615
Wait.
1604
01:07:31,623 --> 01:07:34,693
For what? You think this is gonna change?
You think I'm gonna change?
1605
01:07:34,694 --> 01:07:36,861
You think this is
what I had in mind?
1606
01:07:36,862 --> 01:07:39,260
Being a 55-year-old man,
living with his mother?
1607
01:07:39,262 --> 01:07:41,962
You think that's my idea
of a good time?
1608
01:07:41,964 --> 01:07:44,364
I love
passive-aggressive losers.
1609
01:07:44,366 --> 01:07:46,066
[All cheering]
1610
01:07:47,835 --> 01:07:49,995
You know, a-according to
state regulations,
1611
01:07:50,003 --> 01:07:52,203
a... a child-care center
in a family home
1612
01:07:52,205 --> 01:07:55,435
is limited to
a maximum of 12 children.
1613
01:07:55,441 --> 01:07:58,476
I don't understand. 'Cause we have
plenty of room here for these kids.
1614
01:07:58,477 --> 01:08:00,607
Charlie, I don't make the
rules, I just enforce them.
1615
01:08:00,612 --> 01:08:02,581
You can't have more than 12 kids
1616
01:08:02,582 --> 01:08:03,910
at this kind of location.
1617
01:08:03,914 --> 01:08:06,014
So what you are saying is if
we want to stay in business,
1618
01:08:06,016 --> 01:08:07,146
we have to fire 2 kids.
1619
01:08:07,150 --> 01:08:09,419
Unless you want to move
to a permanent facility
1620
01:08:09,420 --> 01:08:10,918
somewhere else, then yes.
1621
01:08:14,422 --> 01:08:16,122
[All chattering]
1622
01:08:17,991 --> 01:08:20,491
(Marvin)
So, who do we cut loose?
1623
01:08:20,493 --> 01:08:22,593
How about Becca and Jamie?
1624
01:08:23,729 --> 01:08:25,299
I can't do it.
1625
01:08:26,131 --> 01:08:28,799
We gotta do something.
1626
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,830
Why don't we get a bigger space?
1627
01:08:31,602 --> 01:08:34,937
"Space... the final frontier."
1628
01:08:34,938 --> 01:08:37,708
Marvin, I'm serious. Harridan said
we're not real. Let's get real.
1629
01:08:37,709 --> 01:08:40,367
Let's get a bigger space, let's
get more kids, hire more people.
1630
01:08:40,376 --> 01:08:42,236
We'll give this woman
a run for her money.
1631
01:08:42,244 --> 01:08:43,844
Great. Let's...
let's get a new space.
1632
01:08:43,845 --> 01:08:45,275
Yeah, final frontier!
1633
01:08:45,279 --> 01:08:47,348
You know, if you don't
stop with that Star Trek,
1634
01:08:47,349 --> 01:08:49,277
I'll push you in
that sticker bush. Stop!
1635
01:08:49,282 --> 01:08:52,282
No! I'm saying that
there is a space available
1636
01:08:52,285 --> 01:08:54,485
called
"the final frontier."
1637
01:08:54,487 --> 01:08:57,217
(Marvin) This used to be
my home away from home.
1638
01:08:57,223 --> 01:08:59,423
Jerry, the guy
who owned this place,
1639
01:08:59,425 --> 01:09:02,385
he had the ultimate
collection of memorabilia.
1640
01:09:02,394 --> 01:09:03,934
Um, oh, you know what he had?
1641
01:09:03,935 --> 01:09:05,688
Tricorder.
1642
01:09:05,696 --> 01:09:08,856
The... that ensign Riley wore
in "the doomsday machine."
1643
01:09:08,865 --> 01:09:10,825
Yeah, yeah,
I never saw that episode.
1644
01:09:10,833 --> 01:09:11,933
[Exclaims]
1645
01:09:11,934 --> 01:09:14,368
I was with him,
not watching also.
1646
01:09:14,369 --> 01:09:15,429
Oh!
1647
01:09:17,104 --> 01:09:18,704
Needs a lot of work.
1648
01:09:18,705 --> 01:09:21,535
That just means we can fix it
up how we want to fix it up.
1649
01:09:21,541 --> 01:09:23,671
Yeah, but we're gonna need
some money to do that.
1650
01:09:25,110 --> 01:09:27,210
To make money,
you got to spend money.
1651
01:09:27,212 --> 01:09:29,612
To spend money,
you got to have money.
1652
01:09:30,815 --> 01:09:33,275
"Rock for daddy day care.
1653
01:09:33,284 --> 01:09:36,853
Help us finance
our new permanent home."
1654
01:09:36,854 --> 01:09:39,689
Do you know what this means?
1655
01:09:39,690 --> 01:09:41,590
It's a chance
to improve ourselves
1656
01:09:41,591 --> 01:09:43,261
through a little
healthy competition?
1657
01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:45,389
No, you bubble-headed idiot.
1658
01:09:45,394 --> 01:09:46,763
It's a death sentence.
1659
01:09:46,764 --> 01:09:48,862
If they get their hands
on a big enough space,
1660
01:09:48,864 --> 01:09:50,030
they'll ruin me.
1661
01:09:50,031 --> 01:09:51,301
They're selling fun.
1662
01:09:51,302 --> 01:09:53,398
I can't compete with fun.
1663
01:09:55,901 --> 01:09:57,731
I should've crushed them
in the beginning
1664
01:09:57,736 --> 01:09:59,296
when they were weak.
1665
01:09:59,304 --> 01:10:01,874
It'll be harder now,
but I have no choice.
1666
01:10:01,875 --> 01:10:03,843
I've got to stop them.
1667
01:10:04,675 --> 01:10:06,065
How are you gonna do that?
1668
01:10:07,677 --> 01:10:10,077
By any means necessary.
1669
01:10:10,079 --> 01:10:12,709
♪[Surrender
by cheap trick playing]♪
1670
01:10:25,459 --> 01:10:26,789
♪ Mother told me ♪
1671
01:10:26,793 --> 01:10:28,963
(Charlie)
Yeah, ride the pony.
1672
01:10:29,828 --> 01:10:31,358
Pet the goat.
1673
01:10:32,262 --> 01:10:35,362
Get a t-shirt made.
Something to eat.
1674
01:10:35,365 --> 01:10:36,795
Enjoy the music!
1675
01:10:36,799 --> 01:10:39,399
♪ You'll never know
what you'll catch" ♪
1676
01:10:39,401 --> 01:10:42,601
♪ Just the other day I heard ♪
1677
01:10:42,604 --> 01:10:45,906
♪ A soldier falling off ♪
1678
01:10:45,907 --> 01:10:47,507
♪ Some Indonesian junk ♪
1679
01:10:47,508 --> 01:10:49,638
[speaking Klingon]
1680
01:10:49,643 --> 01:10:52,713
♪ That's going 'round ♪
1681
01:10:53,445 --> 01:10:55,575
♪ Your mommy's all right ♪
1682
01:10:55,580 --> 01:10:57,410
♪ Your daddy's all right ♪
1683
01:10:57,415 --> 01:11:00,245
♪ They just seem
a little weird ♪
1684
01:11:00,251 --> 01:11:01,951
♪ Surrender ♪
1685
01:11:01,952 --> 01:11:03,786
♪ Surrender ♪
1686
01:11:03,787 --> 01:11:07,487
♪ But don't
give yourself away ♪
1687
01:11:07,490 --> 01:11:09,490
♪ Away ♪
1688
01:11:09,492 --> 01:11:13,032
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
1689
01:11:27,108 --> 01:11:28,968
Hey, they're showing
Logan's run, Friday...
1690
01:11:28,976 --> 01:11:30,436
Friday night at 8:00.
1691
01:11:30,444 --> 01:11:32,084
[Laughing]
1692
01:11:33,279 --> 01:11:35,479
If you're not busy
Friday nights,
1693
01:11:36,515 --> 01:11:38,105
maybe you'd like to...
1694
01:11:38,116 --> 01:11:39,746
oh, yeah, sure.
1695
01:11:40,083 --> 01:11:41,216
Great.
1696
01:11:41,217 --> 01:11:43,677
So we're talking, like,
just dinner, bath, bed?
1697
01:11:44,153 --> 01:11:45,486
The works?
1698
01:11:45,487 --> 01:11:46,817
What?
1699
01:11:46,821 --> 01:11:49,821
You want me to baby-sit so you
can go to the movie, right?
1700
01:11:49,824 --> 01:11:52,594
Marvin, I want you
to go with me.
1701
01:11:53,427 --> 01:11:54,727
Oh, yeah.
1702
01:11:54,728 --> 01:11:55,888
Yeah.
1703
01:11:55,895 --> 01:11:56,985
OK.
1704
01:11:57,763 --> 01:11:59,130
OK. Great.
1705
01:11:59,131 --> 01:12:01,831
All right.
Here's your thing.
1706
01:12:02,967 --> 01:12:04,797
♪ Surrender ♪
1707
01:12:04,802 --> 01:12:07,937
♪ But don't
give yourself away ♪
1708
01:12:07,938 --> 01:12:09,838
Thank you very much.
1709
01:12:09,839 --> 01:12:11,639
OK. Thanks. Great.
1710
01:12:15,443 --> 01:12:17,283
[Children laughing]
1711
01:12:20,714 --> 01:12:22,484
I don't think
we should be doing this.
1712
01:12:22,485 --> 01:12:23,712
Jennifer, my dear,
1713
01:12:23,716 --> 01:12:26,016
in life there are winners
and there are losers.
1714
01:12:26,018 --> 01:12:27,378
And if you want to be a winner,
1715
01:12:27,386 --> 01:12:29,286
sometimes you
have to play dirty.
1716
01:12:29,287 --> 01:12:31,487
[Children screaming]
1717
01:12:37,527 --> 01:12:40,457
[Goats bleating]
1718
01:12:40,463 --> 01:12:42,831
[Donkeys braying]
1719
01:12:42,832 --> 01:12:48,232
♪ Mom and dad were
rolling on the couch ♪
1720
01:12:48,236 --> 01:12:51,596
♪ Rolling numbers,
rock and rolling ♪
1721
01:12:51,605 --> 01:12:53,535
Hey!
1722
01:12:53,540 --> 01:12:55,610
I'll show you.
I'll paint my face first.
1723
01:12:55,611 --> 01:12:57,938
And then you paint yourself.
1724
01:12:57,943 --> 01:12:59,643
See? Put a little paint.
1725
01:12:59,644 --> 01:13:01,411
And I'm just going to...
1726
01:13:01,412 --> 01:13:03,012
What's wrong?
1727
01:13:04,814 --> 01:13:07,714
That's not paint!
It's give!
1728
01:13:07,716 --> 01:13:09,416
[Both yelling]
1729
01:13:09,417 --> 01:13:10,617
[Screaming]
1730
01:13:14,554 --> 01:13:15,624
[Hissing]
1731
01:13:20,458 --> 01:13:22,828
♪ Away ♪
1732
01:13:28,298 --> 01:13:30,428
Could I get some more of
this delicious potato salad?
1733
01:13:30,433 --> 01:13:32,103
It is so good.
Have you tried it?
1734
01:13:32,104 --> 01:13:34,031
Really. It is so good.
1735
01:13:34,036 --> 01:13:35,096
[Screams]
1736
01:13:36,871 --> 01:13:38,201
What's up?
1737
01:13:38,205 --> 01:13:39,635
Ew, look.
1738
01:13:39,639 --> 01:13:42,639
And they got into everything
except for the pies.
1739
01:13:42,642 --> 01:13:44,242
OK, don't panic.
Don't panic.
1740
01:13:44,243 --> 01:13:46,383
We'll just sell
the people pies, that's all.
1741
01:13:46,384 --> 01:13:47,538
[Goat bleating]
1742
01:13:47,545 --> 01:13:48,635
(Kim)
Oh.
1743
01:13:48,646 --> 01:13:50,976
Wow. Goats really
love pie.
1744
01:13:50,981 --> 01:13:52,481
[Screaming]
1745
01:13:56,218 --> 01:13:58,278
Leave them on for 2 hours.
1746
01:13:58,719 --> 01:14:00,149
You got it.
1747
01:14:01,721 --> 01:14:03,691
Everybody just
take a deep breath
1748
01:14:03,692 --> 01:14:06,089
and let's go back to having fun.
1749
01:14:06,524 --> 01:14:07,957
OK?
1750
01:14:07,958 --> 01:14:09,558
[All screaming]
1751
01:14:22,304 --> 01:14:24,238
H-how'd we do?
1752
01:14:24,239 --> 01:14:26,639
We haven't even
put a dent in it.
1753
01:14:27,875 --> 01:14:29,605
[Phone ringing]
1754
01:14:31,844 --> 01:14:32,877
Hello?
1755
01:14:32,878 --> 01:14:34,638
Charlie, Jim fields.
1756
01:14:34,646 --> 01:14:36,306
Hey, how's your vacation going?
1757
01:14:36,314 --> 01:14:37,884
No, I'm just pulling your leg.
1758
01:14:37,885 --> 01:14:39,182
Listen, buddy,
1759
01:14:39,183 --> 01:14:40,683
are you still looking for work?
1760
01:14:40,684 --> 01:14:41,954
'Cause I've got a job for you,
1761
01:14:41,955 --> 01:14:43,551
unless you've got other offers.
1762
01:14:43,552 --> 01:14:45,082
No, no,
that's really interesting.
1763
01:14:45,086 --> 01:14:46,816
It's, uh, that's interesting.
1764
01:14:46,821 --> 01:14:48,991
But it's just... I've got
something going on right now.
1765
01:14:48,992 --> 01:14:50,049
Before you say no,
1766
01:14:50,056 --> 01:14:51,556
let me fax you over
the proposal.
1767
01:14:51,557 --> 01:14:53,057
You can take a look
at the numbers,
1768
01:14:53,058 --> 01:14:54,488
you think about it,
1769
01:14:54,492 --> 01:14:56,159
then you get back to me.
1770
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:57,190
Yeah.
1771
01:14:57,194 --> 01:14:58,761
OK. Great.
1772
01:14:58,762 --> 01:15:01,732
You say hi to the wife
and daughter... son.
1773
01:15:09,572 --> 01:15:11,342
[Knocking on door]
1774
01:15:14,076 --> 01:15:16,136
Miss harridan.
Let me guess.
1775
01:15:16,144 --> 01:15:18,251
You couldn't get
child services to come back,
1776
01:15:18,252 --> 01:15:20,107
so you're doing
the inspection yourself.
1777
01:15:20,115 --> 01:15:21,245
I apologize.
1778
01:15:21,249 --> 01:15:22,819
I don't like to be sneaky.
1779
01:15:22,820 --> 01:15:24,917
Still, rules are rules.
1780
01:15:24,919 --> 01:15:27,489
May I come in?
I have a proposition for you.
1781
01:15:27,490 --> 01:15:29,348
Oh, yeah, please do.
1782
01:15:30,724 --> 01:15:35,264
Can I get you some, uh,
coffee or tea or water
1783
01:15:35,928 --> 01:15:37,228
or eye of newt, maybe?
1784
01:15:37,229 --> 01:15:39,759
Water would be lovely.
Thank you.
1785
01:15:39,764 --> 01:15:41,264
Water.
That's an easy one.
1786
01:15:41,265 --> 01:15:43,465
You don't mind tap water,
do you?
1787
01:15:43,467 --> 01:15:45,767
We're out of the bottled water.
1788
01:15:48,872 --> 01:15:50,072
Ahem.
1789
01:15:51,274 --> 01:15:53,874
So, miss harridan,
why are you here?
1790
01:15:54,943 --> 01:15:59,112
You seem smart,
talented, highly ambitious.
1791
01:15:59,113 --> 01:16:01,813
What on earth are you doing
running a day care center?
1792
01:16:01,815 --> 01:16:04,245
Well, maybe I enjoy
running a day care center.
1793
01:16:04,250 --> 01:16:05,350
Obviously.
1794
01:16:05,351 --> 01:16:06,651
But is this really how you want
1795
01:16:06,652 --> 01:16:08,322
to spend the rest of your life?
1796
01:16:08,323 --> 01:16:09,520
As a businessman,
1797
01:16:09,521 --> 01:16:12,089
you'd have money,
power, respect.
1798
01:16:12,090 --> 01:16:13,890
You're really going to throw
that all away
1799
01:16:13,891 --> 01:16:15,691
just to baby-sit
a bunch of 3-year-old?
1800
01:16:15,692 --> 01:16:18,030
You know, I said I would
listen to your proposition.
1801
01:16:18,031 --> 01:16:20,027
I'm all ears, and I've
got other things to do,
1802
01:16:20,029 --> 01:16:21,229
so if you'd be so kind...
1803
01:16:21,230 --> 01:16:23,430
oh, all right.
Here it is:
1804
01:16:23,432 --> 01:16:25,502
If daddy day care should close,
1805
01:16:25,503 --> 01:16:27,300
for whatever reason,
1806
01:16:27,301 --> 01:16:30,770
I'll take all your children
for the price you charge.
1807
01:16:30,771 --> 01:16:34,506
Topflight education
at rock-bottom prices.
1808
01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:36,107
Think about it.
1809
01:16:39,944 --> 01:16:41,144
Now, wait a minute.
1810
01:16:41,145 --> 01:16:42,275
Mmm-hmm.
1811
01:16:42,279 --> 01:16:44,979
You're blowing us off
for cottony cotton balls?
1812
01:16:44,981 --> 01:16:47,349
No, cotton candy puffs.
1813
01:16:47,350 --> 01:16:49,080
Apparently the whole thing
was my idea.
1814
01:16:49,085 --> 01:16:50,675
And they offered
to double my salary,
1815
01:16:50,686 --> 01:16:51,916
and let me run the division.
1816
01:16:51,920 --> 01:16:53,950
So, yes,
I am taking myself back.
1817
01:16:53,955 --> 01:16:56,855
Go ahead, if that's what's
important to you. I mean...
1818
01:16:56,857 --> 01:16:57,957
Phil and I can manage.
1819
01:16:57,958 --> 01:17:00,258
We'll just find
somebody else. Right?
1820
01:17:00,260 --> 01:17:02,290
Uh, I... I'm going, too.
1821
01:17:02,995 --> 01:17:04,185
[Sighs]
1822
01:17:04,196 --> 01:17:08,326
This is, like, worse than
when Spock betrayed kirk
1823
01:17:08,332 --> 01:17:09,302
on Star Trek V.
1824
01:17:09,303 --> 01:17:10,629
Hey, Marvin, it's not like that.
1825
01:17:10,633 --> 01:17:12,200
We want you
to come back with us.
1826
01:17:12,201 --> 01:17:15,001
And not in the mailroom this time.
We want you to be part of our team.
1827
01:17:15,003 --> 01:17:16,803
Whatever, I don't wanna
be on that team.
1828
01:17:16,804 --> 01:17:18,204
I want to be on this team.
1829
01:17:18,205 --> 01:17:20,435
We thought a lot
about this, man.
1830
01:17:20,440 --> 01:17:21,810
It's a great opportunity.
1831
01:17:21,811 --> 01:17:24,938
No, this right here
is a great opportunity.
1832
01:17:24,944 --> 01:17:27,444
Marvin, this business... this
is the one that has limits.
1833
01:17:27,446 --> 01:17:29,106
And we've reached them, OK?
1834
01:17:29,114 --> 01:17:31,614
Me and Phil, we got
responsibilities to think about.
1835
01:17:31,616 --> 01:17:33,676
We got futures
to take into consideration.
1836
01:17:33,684 --> 01:17:36,124
What about right now?
What about the kids?
1837
01:17:36,519 --> 01:17:37,919
Hey...
1838
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:39,989
These kids were fine
before daddy day care,
1839
01:17:39,990 --> 01:17:42,088
and they'll be fine
when it's over.
1840
01:17:42,090 --> 01:17:44,720
You tell yourself that, Charlie.
1841
01:17:44,725 --> 01:17:47,285
I finally found
a place where I fit in,
1842
01:17:47,294 --> 01:17:49,194
where I feel like I'm
doing something good,
1843
01:17:49,195 --> 01:17:50,785
and you guys just...
1844
01:17:50,796 --> 01:17:52,426
You just spoil it all.
1845
01:17:59,436 --> 01:18:01,436
Well, that couldn't
have gone worse.
1846
01:18:01,438 --> 01:18:05,038
If you think that went bad,
wait till we tell the kids.
1847
01:18:05,908 --> 01:18:08,338
[Chattering]
1848
01:18:12,179 --> 01:18:13,809
[Children laughing]
1849
01:18:20,952 --> 01:18:22,819
Can I go to work with you?
1850
01:18:22,820 --> 01:18:24,620
Oh, no, you can't go
to work with me,
1851
01:18:24,621 --> 01:18:26,390
but you can come
visit me at work.
1852
01:18:26,391 --> 01:18:28,819
And daddy's gonna be home
at night and on the weekends.
1853
01:18:28,824 --> 01:18:31,124
You know, we can still have
lots of fun together.
1854
01:18:31,126 --> 01:18:33,856
Will Phil and Marvin
still be here?
1855
01:18:33,862 --> 01:18:35,231
No, I'm sorry, little man.
1856
01:18:35,232 --> 01:18:36,960
They're not going
to be around anymore.
1857
01:18:38,232 --> 01:18:40,932
It's just for a while, right?
1858
01:18:40,934 --> 01:18:44,704
Then you're going to come back
and do daddy day care again.
1859
01:18:46,072 --> 01:18:48,606
No, this is...
this is from now on.
1860
01:18:48,607 --> 01:18:51,837
Daddy day care, we're not
doing that anymore, Ben.
1861
01:18:53,910 --> 01:18:55,880
Let me explain it
to you like this, Ben:
1862
01:18:55,881 --> 01:18:57,738
If daddy does this, right,
1863
01:18:57,746 --> 01:18:59,306
I can get money for us.
1864
01:18:59,314 --> 01:19:01,614
And I can use that money
to take care of the house
1865
01:19:01,616 --> 01:19:04,546
and to buy food and clothes
1866
01:19:04,552 --> 01:19:06,552
and toys for you to play with.
1867
01:19:06,554 --> 01:19:09,389
I'll sell all my toys.
1868
01:19:09,390 --> 01:19:12,058
Oh, why you want to sell
all your toys?
1869
01:19:12,059 --> 01:19:14,789
If I don't have toys,
we don't need money,
1870
01:19:14,795 --> 01:19:16,895
and you can stay with me.
1871
01:19:20,100 --> 01:19:22,400
I wish it was that simple, Ben.
1872
01:19:25,671 --> 01:19:27,701
(Charlie) The development
department will have
1873
01:19:27,706 --> 01:19:29,606
the first samples
ready by next week.
1874
01:19:29,607 --> 01:19:31,837
OK, let's, uh, kick it around.
1875
01:19:31,842 --> 01:19:33,172
What do you think of
1876
01:19:33,176 --> 01:19:34,906
when you think of cotton candy?
1877
01:19:34,911 --> 01:19:36,177
Clowns.
1878
01:19:36,178 --> 01:19:37,278
Chocolate.
1879
01:19:38,580 --> 01:19:39,750
Cavities.
1880
01:19:41,315 --> 01:19:44,215
Hyperactivity, cavities, and dentist bills.
That's what I...
1881
01:19:44,217 --> 01:19:45,917
Hey, look,
I've been to the other side,
1882
01:19:45,918 --> 01:19:47,118
and I've seen firsthand.
1883
01:19:47,119 --> 01:19:48,719
When kids eat this kinda stuff,
1884
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:51,050
they come down crashing so
hard they need an air bag.
1885
01:19:51,055 --> 01:19:53,655
You know what the ingredients are
to these cotton candy balls?
1886
01:19:53,657 --> 01:19:54,657
Puffs.
1887
01:19:54,658 --> 01:19:55,858
They're "puffs."
I'm sorry.
1888
01:19:55,859 --> 01:19:58,429
You know what's in here?
Red dye number 4 and sugar.
1889
01:19:58,430 --> 01:19:59,728
You know what, people?
1890
01:19:59,729 --> 01:20:02,059
Charlie is absolutely right.
You can't ignore the reality.
1891
01:20:02,064 --> 01:20:03,433
Parents are not going to want
1892
01:20:03,434 --> 01:20:05,232
to buy this product
for their kids.
1893
01:20:05,233 --> 01:20:08,533
Not unless those kids
stomp and scream
1894
01:20:08,536 --> 01:20:10,636
and bang their little heads
on the floor
1895
01:20:10,638 --> 01:20:12,238
till blood comes out
of their ears.
1896
01:20:12,239 --> 01:20:13,439
[Laughs]
1897
01:20:13,440 --> 01:20:15,609
Hey, Charlie, you got
those figures that I gave you?
1898
01:20:15,610 --> 01:20:17,068
Yeah, I got them right here.
1899
01:20:17,076 --> 01:20:19,536
Just give me a second to...
1900
01:20:19,545 --> 01:20:21,675
(Jim) We had an independent
marketing firm
1901
01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:23,210
do some preliminary research
1902
01:20:23,214 --> 01:20:26,749
to sort out the core value
of this product.
1903
01:20:26,750 --> 01:20:29,620
The subjects that were tested,
aged 2 to 6,
1904
01:20:29,621 --> 01:20:31,919
which are key branding years...
1905
01:20:33,321 --> 01:20:35,789
Charlie, you want to join us?
1906
01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:38,590
I'm sorry about that,
Jim. Yeah.
1907
01:20:38,592 --> 01:20:42,261
Why don't you tell everybody
what the core value is?
1908
01:20:42,262 --> 01:20:44,632
What's the most important thing?
1909
01:20:48,301 --> 01:20:49,571
My kid.
1910
01:20:51,870 --> 01:20:53,040
Huh?
1911
01:20:54,905 --> 01:20:55,965
My kid, Jim,
1912
01:20:55,972 --> 01:20:58,740
that's the most
important thing. My kid.
1913
01:20:58,741 --> 01:21:02,276
And I think I've made
a tremendous mistake.
1914
01:21:02,277 --> 01:21:05,407
And so, uh, I quit.
1915
01:21:08,149 --> 01:21:10,649
Ooh, what are you doing to me?
1916
01:21:10,651 --> 01:21:12,181
You scared me.
1917
01:21:12,185 --> 01:21:13,615
How was the marketing meeting?
1918
01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:14,919
I quit.
1919
01:21:15,754 --> 01:21:17,054
I quit.
1920
01:21:17,588 --> 01:21:18,648
You quit?
1921
01:21:18,655 --> 01:21:19,745
I quit and I feel great.
1922
01:21:19,756 --> 01:21:20,886
You should quit with me.
1923
01:21:20,890 --> 01:21:21,920
I should quit?
1924
01:21:21,924 --> 01:21:23,024
You should quit right now.
1925
01:21:23,025 --> 01:21:24,185
We just got here.
1926
01:21:24,192 --> 01:21:26,462
You want to feel how I'm feeling?
Quit. Come on.
1927
01:21:26,463 --> 01:21:27,760
Quit!
1928
01:21:27,761 --> 01:21:29,031
Quit with me.
1929
01:21:29,895 --> 01:21:32,325
[Car approaching]
1930
01:21:37,034 --> 01:21:39,772
Hey, Marvin, you weren't going to
sell the carrot suit, were you?
1931
01:21:39,773 --> 01:21:40,840
The kids love that.
1932
01:21:51,980 --> 01:21:53,380
This stuff
1933
01:21:54,715 --> 01:21:56,915
is not for sale!
1934
01:21:57,984 --> 01:22:00,884
A literal reader
of the text might say
1935
01:22:00,886 --> 01:22:04,286
that Goldilocks
ate the "porridge"
1936
01:22:04,289 --> 01:22:07,758
because she was "hungry."
1937
01:22:07,759 --> 01:22:10,427
But what would Freud say?
1938
01:22:10,428 --> 01:22:12,288
Language skills are
a critical component
1939
01:22:12,296 --> 01:22:14,556
of childhood development.
1940
01:22:14,564 --> 01:22:17,502
They're part of the core
curriculum here at Chapman.
1941
01:22:17,503 --> 01:22:19,470
If you'll follow me this way.
1942
01:22:20,535 --> 01:22:22,165
On the path of life,
1943
01:22:22,170 --> 01:22:25,238
the proper first
steps are essential.
1944
01:22:25,239 --> 01:22:28,608
With our firm guidance,
your children
1945
01:22:28,609 --> 01:22:31,839
will take those steps
right here at Chapman.
1946
01:22:31,845 --> 01:22:33,205
Our philosophy
1947
01:22:33,213 --> 01:22:36,048
is that a child is like
a climbing vine.
1948
01:22:36,049 --> 01:22:37,749
With structure to cling to,
1949
01:22:37,750 --> 01:22:39,350
and the right gardener
to tend them,
1950
01:22:39,351 --> 01:22:41,151
they'll grow to the sky.
1951
01:22:41,152 --> 01:22:42,892
That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard.
1952
01:22:44,355 --> 01:22:45,645
We're not talking about plants,
1953
01:22:45,656 --> 01:22:47,116
we're talking about kids.
1954
01:22:47,124 --> 01:22:49,262
I know you people don't
want this woman pruning
1955
01:22:49,263 --> 01:22:51,359
and cutting and weeding
your 3-year-old.
1956
01:22:51,361 --> 01:22:53,891
Some people are uncomfortable
with achievement.
1957
01:22:53,896 --> 01:22:55,896
No, what I'm uncomfortable with
1958
01:22:55,898 --> 01:22:58,668
is treating a little kid
like it's an adult.
1959
01:22:58,669 --> 01:23:00,327
If you people
let your kids come here,
1960
01:23:00,335 --> 01:23:02,495
they're gonna be miserable
in 4 different languages.
1961
01:23:02,503 --> 01:23:03,536
5.
1962
01:23:03,537 --> 01:23:05,697
We start Portuguese in the fall.
1963
01:23:05,705 --> 01:23:07,095
[Laughs]
1964
01:23:07,106 --> 01:23:09,136
How many languages
do you listen to them in?
1965
01:23:09,141 --> 01:23:11,671
You ever just take a break and
stop trying to shove knowledge
1966
01:23:11,676 --> 01:23:13,436
down their throat
and just talk to them?
1967
01:23:13,444 --> 01:23:15,044
Listen to 'em and
see what they want.
1968
01:23:15,045 --> 01:23:16,035
They're children,
1969
01:23:16,046 --> 01:23:17,376
they don't know what they want.
1970
01:23:17,380 --> 01:23:18,980
Yes, they do know
what they want.
1971
01:23:18,981 --> 01:23:21,011
All of them.
And they're all different.
1972
01:23:21,016 --> 01:23:22,846
We took some time,
we talked to the kids,
1973
01:23:22,851 --> 01:23:24,151
got to know them a little bit.
1974
01:23:24,152 --> 01:23:25,892
And it made a difference.
It helped them.
1975
01:23:25,893 --> 01:23:28,347
Oh, please.
Share your success.
1976
01:23:28,356 --> 01:23:30,016
Why don't you tell
these people exactly
1977
01:23:30,024 --> 01:23:31,564
how you help their children?
1978
01:23:37,763 --> 01:23:38,829
Max.
1979
01:23:38,830 --> 01:23:41,060
Max over here is
potty-trained now, OK?
1980
01:23:41,065 --> 01:23:42,355
I don't miss.
1981
01:23:42,366 --> 01:23:44,496
That's right.
And Becca learned how to read.
1982
01:23:44,501 --> 01:23:46,168
Yes, I did.
1983
01:23:46,169 --> 01:23:47,399
And crispin.
1984
01:23:47,403 --> 01:23:50,303
Crispin is the most polite kid
you'd ever want to meet.
1985
01:23:50,305 --> 01:23:51,935
Thank you, Charlie.
1986
01:23:51,939 --> 01:23:54,106
You are most welcome, crispin.
1987
01:23:54,107 --> 01:23:56,507
And I made friends.
1988
01:23:58,877 --> 01:24:01,307
That's right, little man,
you made some friends.
1989
01:24:02,779 --> 01:24:04,209
As of this moment,
1990
01:24:04,213 --> 01:24:07,781
daddy day care
is back in business.
1991
01:24:07,782 --> 01:24:10,650
[All cheering]
1992
01:24:10,651 --> 01:24:13,321
Don't be a fool.
You won't make a nickel.
1993
01:24:13,322 --> 01:24:15,620
Yeah, we might not get rich,
but we'll manage.
1994
01:24:15,622 --> 01:24:16,788
Excuse me.
1995
01:24:16,789 --> 01:24:19,159
All right, huh?
How about that?
1996
01:24:19,825 --> 01:24:20,885
Hey, all right.
1997
01:24:20,892 --> 01:24:21,962
Daddy.
1998
01:24:25,028 --> 01:24:26,088
Hey listen,
1999
01:24:26,095 --> 01:24:27,925
any boob can run
a child-care center.
2000
01:24:27,930 --> 01:24:29,899
It takes a family
to raise some children.
2001
01:24:29,900 --> 01:24:32,268
That's what we're going to be
from now on, a family.
2002
01:24:32,269 --> 01:24:34,827
Family?
What a laughable concept!
2003
01:24:34,836 --> 01:24:37,136
Well, we'll going to just laugh
our way down the driveway.
2004
01:24:37,138 --> 01:24:39,738
You have
bye, Miss Harridan. S. Harridan.
2005
01:24:39,740 --> 01:24:42,270
(Children)
Bye, miss harridan.
2006
01:24:54,687 --> 01:24:56,787
[Children laughing]
2007
01:24:56,789 --> 01:24:59,157
Come on! Let's go!
2008
01:24:59,158 --> 01:25:02,958
Get in there! Come on!
Let's go! Come on!
2009
01:25:02,961 --> 01:25:04,091
[Groans]
2010
01:25:04,095 --> 01:25:05,255
[Children laughing]
2011
01:25:05,262 --> 01:25:06,962
Come on! Hold up!
2012
01:25:10,766 --> 01:25:12,366
OK, everybody's
holding hands, right?
2013
01:25:12,367 --> 01:25:13,397
Yeah, right.
2014
01:25:16,604 --> 01:25:17,971
[Whistle blowing]
2015
01:25:17,972 --> 01:25:19,172
Let's go.
2016
01:25:23,744 --> 01:25:25,444
"Daddy day care."
2017
01:25:26,078 --> 01:25:28,846
Jennifer, how could you?
2018
01:25:28,847 --> 01:25:30,877
It's a really
great place to work.
2019
01:25:30,882 --> 01:25:32,252
You should apply there.
2020
01:25:33,884 --> 01:25:35,154
Or not.
2021
01:25:38,587 --> 01:25:40,287
Have a nice day, miss harridan.
2022
01:25:40,721 --> 01:25:41,991
That's nice.
2023
01:25:48,627 --> 01:25:50,057
[Whistle blowing]
2024
01:25:51,095 --> 01:25:52,385
Oh! Oh! Oh!
2025
01:25:52,396 --> 01:25:53,556
♪ [Abc by the
Jacksons playing] ♪
2026
01:25:53,563 --> 01:25:55,203
♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba ♪
2027
01:25:55,830 --> 01:25:57,897
♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba ♪
2028
01:25:57,898 --> 01:26:00,398
♪ you went to school
to learn girl ♪
2029
01:26:00,400 --> 01:26:02,800
♪ things you
never ever knew before ♪
2030
01:26:02,802 --> 01:26:05,502
♪ like "I" before "e"
except after "c" ♪
2031
01:26:05,504 --> 01:26:08,474
♪ and why 2 plus 2 makes 4,
now, now, now ♪
2032
01:26:08,475 --> 01:26:09,973
♪ I'm gonna teach you ♪
2033
01:26:09,974 --> 01:26:11,043
♪ teach you, teach you ♪
2034
01:26:11,044 --> 01:26:12,511
♪ all about love, dear ♪
2035
01:26:12,512 --> 01:26:13,909
♪ all about love ♪
2036
01:26:13,910 --> 01:26:15,710
♪ sit yourself down,
take a seat ♪
2037
01:26:15,711 --> 01:26:18,511
♪ all you gotta do
is repeat after me ♪
2038
01:26:18,513 --> 01:26:20,413
♪ a, b, c ♪
2039
01:26:20,414 --> 01:26:22,648
♪ it's easy as 1, 2, 3 ♪
2040
01:26:22,649 --> 01:26:24,879
♪ as simple as do-re-mi ♪
2041
01:26:24,884 --> 01:26:26,217
♪ a, b, c ♪
2042
01:26:26,218 --> 01:26:27,378
♪ 1, 2, 3 ♪
2043
01:26:27,385 --> 01:26:28,815
♪ baby, you and me, girl ♪
2044
01:26:28,819 --> 01:26:30,786
♪ a, b, c ♪
2045
01:26:30,787 --> 01:26:32,847
♪ it's easy as 1, 2, 3 ♪
2046
01:26:32,855 --> 01:26:35,085
♪ as simple as do-re-mi ♪
2047
01:26:35,090 --> 01:26:36,256
♪ a, b, c ♪
2048
01:26:36,257 --> 01:26:37,557
♪ 1, 2, 3 ♪
2049
01:26:37,558 --> 01:26:39,318
♪ baby, you and me, girl ♪
2050
01:26:40,794 --> 01:26:43,494
♪ c'mon let me love ya
just a little bit ♪
2051
01:26:43,496 --> 01:26:46,226
♪ I'm a gonna teach you
how to sing it loud ♪
2052
01:26:46,232 --> 01:26:48,372
♪ come-a, come-a, come on, let me
show you what it's all about ♪
2053
01:26:48,373 --> 01:26:49,797
(boy)
Help!
2054
01:26:49,801 --> 01:26:51,168
Help! Stuck!
2055
01:26:51,169 --> 01:26:53,299
♪ Are the branches
on a learning tree ♪
2056
01:26:53,304 --> 01:26:56,239
♪ but without the roots
of love everyday, girl ♪
2057
01:26:56,240 --> 01:26:57,670
♪ your education
ain't complete ♪
2058
01:26:57,674 --> 01:27:00,114
all right, here I come.
What's going on here?
2059
01:27:00,115 --> 01:27:02,839
(Boy)
Help! Help! Help!
2060
01:27:03,212 --> 01:27:04,512
I'm stuck!
2061
01:27:04,513 --> 01:27:06,013
Loser, loser.
2062
01:27:06,014 --> 01:27:07,047
[Ripping]
2063
01:27:07,048 --> 01:27:08,048
[Grunting]
2064
01:27:09,050 --> 01:27:10,480
[Gasps]
2065
01:27:10,484 --> 01:27:12,218
[Both groaning]
2066
01:27:12,219 --> 01:27:13,586
♪ A, b, c ♪
2067
01:27:13,587 --> 01:27:14,817
loser.
2068
01:27:14,821 --> 01:27:16,588
♪ It's easy as 1, 2, 3 ♪
2069
01:27:16,589 --> 01:27:18,789
♪ as simple as do-re-mi ♪
2070
01:27:18,791 --> 01:27:19,891
♪ a, b, c ♪
2071
01:27:19,892 --> 01:27:21,359
oh! Hey, little man.
2072
01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:23,130
♪ Baby, you and me, girl ♪
2073
01:27:23,131 --> 01:27:24,228
♪ a, b, c ♪
2074
01:27:24,229 --> 01:27:26,729
I'd say this
wasn't a bad tradeoff.
2075
01:27:26,731 --> 01:27:27,761
Yeah, dad.
2076
01:27:27,765 --> 01:27:28,895
♪ As simple as do-re-mi ♪
2077
01:27:28,899 --> 01:27:30,199
♪ a, b, c ♪
2078
01:27:30,200 --> 01:27:31,400
♪ 1, 2, 3 ♪
2079
01:27:31,401 --> 01:27:33,601
♪ baby, you and me, girl ♪
2080
01:27:33,603 --> 01:27:36,237
♪ now, get up, girl ♪
2081
01:27:36,238 --> 01:27:37,998
♪ show me what you can do ♪
2082
01:27:38,006 --> 01:27:39,906
♪ shake it, shake it, baby ♪
2083
01:27:39,907 --> 01:27:42,307
♪ come on, now,
shake it, shake it, baby ♪
2084
01:27:42,309 --> 01:27:44,379
♪ ooh, shake it,
shake it, baby ♪
2085
01:27:44,380 --> 01:27:46,137
[tires screeching]
2086
01:27:46,145 --> 01:27:48,035
♪ 1,2,3, baby ♪
2087
01:27:48,046 --> 01:27:49,906
♪ a, b, c, baby ♪
2088
01:27:49,914 --> 01:27:52,782
♪ do-re-mi, baby ♪
2089
01:27:52,783 --> 01:27:55,451
♪ that's how easy
love can be ♪
2090
01:27:55,452 --> 01:27:56,782
[cars honking]
2091
01:27:57,820 --> 01:27:59,187
♪ 1, 2, 3 ♪
2092
01:27:59,188 --> 01:28:00,788
♪ you and me ♪%
2093
01:28:04,058 --> 01:28:05,788
[clapping]
2094
01:28:05,793 --> 01:28:08,333
(Director)
And, action.
2095
01:28:09,495 --> 01:28:10,625
(Phil)
We can spend...
2096
01:28:10,629 --> 01:28:12,759
You know, we can't spend
money without having it.
2097
01:28:12,764 --> 01:28:13,804
[Cell phone ringing]
2098
01:28:13,805 --> 01:28:15,928
(Marvin)
Hold on one second.
2099
01:28:15,933 --> 01:28:17,933
(Charlie) What, are
you being beamed up?
2100
01:28:17,935 --> 01:28:18,965
It's captain kirk.
2101
01:28:18,969 --> 01:28:20,099
[Laughing]
It is!
2102
01:28:20,103 --> 01:28:21,369
[Beeping]
2103
01:28:21,370 --> 01:28:22,470
[Clapping]
2104
01:28:22,471 --> 01:28:23,571
(Director)
Action.
2105
01:28:23,572 --> 01:28:25,172
Hey, what are you doing to me?
2106
01:28:25,173 --> 01:28:26,543
Pudding on my hand.
2107
01:28:28,742 --> 01:28:29,808
[Giggling]
2108
01:28:29,809 --> 01:28:31,379
OK, wait a minute.
2109
01:28:31,877 --> 01:28:33,907
[Laughing]
2110
01:28:33,912 --> 01:28:35,779
[Farting]
2111
01:28:35,780 --> 01:28:38,410
Take you for instance, I would
never push you in a sticker bush.
2112
01:28:38,415 --> 01:28:39,645
(Phil)
You couldn't push me.
2113
01:28:39,649 --> 01:28:41,119
No, I'd use a shovel on you.
2114
01:28:41,120 --> 01:28:42,977
[Guffawing]
2115
01:28:44,786 --> 01:28:45,946
Busy.
2116
01:28:45,953 --> 01:28:47,893
Some other kids around here
hanging out with you.
2117
01:28:47,894 --> 01:28:49,089
How that sound?
2118
01:28:49,090 --> 01:28:51,620
Whoa! See, you going to
have to work on it.
2119
01:28:51,625 --> 01:28:52,915
Mazel Tov.
2120
01:28:52,926 --> 01:28:55,286
Remember when
you broke my yo-yo?
2121
01:28:55,295 --> 01:28:56,325
(Charlie)
I broke...
2122
01:28:56,329 --> 01:28:58,359
and you... and you never
gave me a new one.
2123
01:28:58,364 --> 01:29:01,132
That's why you sent me to bed.
2124
01:29:01,133 --> 01:29:03,033
Wow, you've been writing.
2125
01:29:03,034 --> 01:29:07,003
No, I can't... I can't
even write my letters.
2126
01:29:07,004 --> 01:29:08,974
(Female crew member)
What's going on here?
2127
01:29:08,975 --> 01:29:10,706
[Grunting]
2128
01:29:10,707 --> 01:29:12,507
[Charlie laughing]
2129
01:29:12,508 --> 01:29:14,238
You're killing me.
2130
01:29:14,243 --> 01:29:16,811
You're really killing me.
2131
01:29:16,812 --> 01:29:19,246
Joe Frazier's smokin' skillets!
2132
01:29:19,247 --> 01:29:22,047
[Laughing]
2133
01:29:22,049 --> 01:29:25,349
These skillets were made
in the city of brotherly love.
2134
01:29:25,352 --> 01:29:26,518
[Laughing]
2135
01:29:26,519 --> 01:29:28,289
That's good...
that's a good thing.
2136
01:29:28,290 --> 01:29:30,017
(Charlie)
OK, Eddie.
2137
01:29:30,022 --> 01:29:33,162
They gave you a little too
much direction, didn't they?
2138
01:29:34,225 --> 01:29:36,325
[Sputtering]
2139
01:29:37,294 --> 01:29:39,264
[Sputtering]
2140
01:29:40,329 --> 01:29:42,298
OK, stop before
you pee on yourself.
2141
01:29:42,299 --> 01:29:43,357
What is my line?
2142
01:29:43,364 --> 01:29:44,504
"I'll sell
all my toys."
2143
01:29:44,505 --> 01:29:46,866
I'll sell all my toys.
2144
01:29:46,867 --> 01:29:48,667
I'll say my other
line over again,
2145
01:29:48,668 --> 01:29:51,038
because I messed it up. So let
me say it again. I say, "you..."
2146
01:29:51,039 --> 01:29:52,137
action!
2147
01:29:52,138 --> 01:29:54,638
OK, thank you.
2148
01:29:54,640 --> 01:29:56,770
(Male crew member 1)
Let it go for a second. There.
2149
01:29:56,775 --> 01:29:58,165
(Male crew member 2)
Thank you.
2150
01:29:59,710 --> 01:30:02,080
That's why I know we
haven't been to the moon.
2151
01:30:02,081 --> 01:30:04,579
[All laughing]
2152
01:30:04,581 --> 01:30:08,221
Miss harridan says it's
preparing me for my future.
2153
01:30:09,851 --> 01:30:11,181
[Sighs]
2154
01:30:12,853 --> 01:30:13,993
You hungry?
2155
01:30:15,421 --> 01:30:16,421
Yeah.
2156
01:30:16,422 --> 01:30:17,952
What do you feel like eating?
2157
01:30:17,956 --> 01:30:19,886
I want a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich.
2158
01:30:19,891 --> 01:30:22,121
Peanut butter
and jelly sandwich.
2159
01:30:22,126 --> 01:30:23,256
I don't know.
2160
01:30:23,260 --> 01:30:24,360
After this scene.
2161
01:30:24,361 --> 01:30:25,728
If I give you...
2162
01:30:25,729 --> 01:30:26,829
[laughing]
2163
01:30:26,830 --> 01:30:28,430
What's so funny?
156326
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