All language subtitles for Cavendish.S01E07.The.Story.of.Ruth.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

- Okay.
- Oh.

Ruth, this thing weighs a ton.

Well, a large energy crystal

can pack a very
powerful punch, Rollie?

I guess it's true what
they say, size does matter.

Oh my God, Ruth.

Oh, my goodness.

Dad, what are you doing?

What am I doing?

Oh, I'm just playing
a quick game of tennis

with Venus Williams here.

Alright, Venus.

I don't understand the joke.

Dr. Green said you
shouldn't be doing

any strenuous activity.

Put that down.

I can't just put
this down anywhere.

A poorly-placed crystal is a...

What's it, Ruth?

Weapon in the hands
of the universe.

It's a weapon in the
hands of the universe.

Dad, don't tell me you're
falling for that crap.

It's not crap, Andy.

A lot of very cool
celebs are into crystals.

Spencer Pratt, from "The Hills."

Heidi Pratt, from "The Hills."

And that's just two of the
cast members from "The Hills."

All right, you know what, Dad?

- I'm fine, Andy.
- Let him do it, Andy.

Please, please. Geez.

Come on.

Ho, ho, hoo.

Dad? Dad?

Rollie?

- Oh.
- Is this a prank?

Are you guys pranking me?

This is not a prank, Andy.

Dad, are you having
a heart attack.

Of course, I'm having a
heart attack, you massive tit.

Oh God, he's mad at
me. Something's wrong.

He's mad at me.
Something's wrong.

Okay, I'm gonna
call an ambulance.

Wish had some rose
quartz or aventurine.

Oh.

Peridot, that would be perfect.

- Ruth!
- Yeah, go on.

* Da-da-di-da-di-da
da-da-di-da-di-da *

Okay, so it
appears your father

suffered another heart attack.

Now, that's eight in
the past 12 months,

which actually is one away
from the provincial record.

So, I could get him
there if you want.

Eight heart attacks in a year?

I mean, how is he still alive?

Quit grilling me.

But seriously, I have no idea.

Okay, all right.

So, what is the plan here?

Obviously, we have
to make some changes,

- Right?
- Oh, don't worry.

I've consulted my crystal manual

and let's just say we'll
be seeing a lot more

red jasper around the house.

- Oh.
- Okay.

Ruth, Dad needs some
actual medical attention.

Maybe a home care
worker, right Dr. Green?

A home care worker
could help, but-

But what?

Red jasper is a great stone.

Isn't it though?

I honestly love that stuff.

Really soothing.

That's exactly what I

- was saying to her.
- You were saying that.

Oh, okay, yeah.

You guys, okay, let's
get this place clean.

June is gonna be
here any minute.

Bryn, Mark, you wanna help?

No, thank you.

Yeah, we're not gonna do that.

We're gonna keep working
on Bryn's graphic novel,

which is called?

"Wolf Daniel."

"Wolf Daniel."

Look at that guy. He's
frigging jacked, eh?

Andy, this is a
complete waste of time.

I do not need some nurse maid,

hovering about, waiting
to change my diaper.

I've got Ruthie
for that.

He doesn't wear a diaper.

Dad, give her a chance.

Maybe she'll save
you from breaking

the provincial
heart attack record.

Yeah, well what if
I want that record?

Records are nice.

People are known for records.

Oh, my god. That's
her, that's her.

Okay, everyone just act normal.

Bryn, you...

You're good.

All right.

Okay. Okay.

You must be June.

And you must be Andy.

You're even more handsome
than you sounded on the phone.

Thank you.

And you have got to be Rollie.

I sure know where
Andy gets his looks.

Well, don't pin those on me.

And witty, to boot.

I best be on my guard
around you.

Yeah, no, actually
there has been a bit

of a misunderstanding.

I'm sorry to waste your time,

but it turns out

I don't need a babysitter.

Dad.

No, that's okay.
It's okay, Andy.

Sometimes people recover a
little faster than expected.

No worries, I'll just
take my Assyrian sculpture

and just get on out of here.

Bye-bye.

Oh no, sorry. What did
you say you've got there?

Oh, it's an Assyrian
relief sculpture

of an alien.

I mean, it's most certainly
not authentic, but still.

Oh, well it may
not be the real deal,

but it's certainly very tasty.

Isn't it?

Wow. Where did you get it?

My late husband ran
a museum of his own,

before he passed away.

This was just in storage.

You can have it,

for a price.

What price?

I demand a tour of
this wonderful museum.

I am just chomping at the bit

to see what you've
got in here.

Oh, well.

Say no more.

- Well.
- Oh, well.

That's Bryn and that's Mark.

Oh, hello.

And this is-

- It's Ruth.
- Ruth.

Pretty blank
there. That's weird.

I just couldn't think what
her name was for a moment.

No, it's-

- It's Ruth.
- Ruth, yeah.

Very nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Oh, my goodness. I have
the exact same purse.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Looks like mine's a
slightly newer model.

Oh, yes, it is.

Yes,

it is.

Okay, well why don't
I take you on that tour.

Oh, goodie.

Why don't I take some notes

as to all the unhealthy
things you keep doing

during the day.

Oh, well be prepared to blush.

Oh see, it's just a stuffed duck

with a fancy skull stuck on top.

But if you call
something an Aztec God,

then people tend to believe you.

Because people are idiots.

Andy, what the
hell are you doing?

Trying to move this crystal
into the shed. Gimme a hand.

Absolutely not. No.

Didn't you hear what Ruth said?

A poorly-placed
crystal is a weapon

in the hands of the universe.

Yeah, well, in case
you haven't noticed,

this place is a
house of science now

and dad seems to
be taking to it.

Oh, yeah. Dad's really
taking to the science.

Couldn't possibly be
the sexy temptress

you've hired to wait on him.

She's not a sexy temptress.

She's a professional nurse.

She is a lonely, widowed,
professional nurse,

who clearly has
the hots for dad.

You are delusional, man.

You are delusional.

Do you think Ruth doesn't
notice this, Andy?

We don't even know what Ruth
and Dad's relationship is.

Yes, we do. It's
not that complicated.

Ruth and Dad are like,
are like "The Odd Couple."

They don't seem to get
along on the surface,

but they got a fun rapport,

they clearly love each other,

and deep down, you just
know they're.

How does that apply
to "The Odd Couple?"

Oh,

trust me, it applies
to "The Odd Couple."

You mean to tell me, the
characters in "The Odd Couple?"

Yep.

As portrayed by Walter
Matthau and Jack Lemmon

we're having sex?

Yes.

Well, that's crazy.

I don't know what you
want me to tell you, Andy.

Now help me get this up.

We're moving it into where-

No, you help me.
No, you help me.

Okay, now move this
to where Ruth wants it.

- No, we're moving it.
- To where Ruth wants it.

- No, we are moving it.
- This way, Andy.

- This way, this way.
- Come on.

This is really
heavy, Mark. Come on!

Did that fall on your foot?

Yes.

Do you need, do you
need help getting it off?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, please, please.

Do you promise to fire June?

No.

Ugh.

Well, then, uh.

- Don't.
- I don't know.

- Don't.
- I don't know what I can do.

Mark, don't.

- I don't know what you want.
- Please, Mark, please.

- I can't, Andy.
- Mark.

My hands are tied.

- Please.
- My hands are tied.

Mark, please.

Thought you could
use a little tea.

Oh, thank you, Ruth.

Oh, is this some
more Wolf Daniel?

Yeah, here he is
in a softer moment.

Yes, he
looks very calm.

Is June still here?

I thought she was supposed
to have gone home,

hours ago.

It's her first day on the job.

She's probably just
getting a lay of the land.

Yeah, sounds like
that's not the only thing,

she's getting a lay of.

Nice.

- Did you like that?
- Yeah.

Yeah, gimme me that.

I'll go see if
she needs some help.

Just a little stinker,
that's what you are.

Hi, June.

Are you having a little
trouble with him in there?

Nope, not at all.

Just getting some Epsom salts.

For a bath?

Rollie's more of a shower guy.

Well, in his
current condition,

he really should be sitting
as much as possible.

That makes so much
sense. You're so smart.

But it's late.

You probably wanna get
home, so I can take over.

No, no, it's my pleasure.

It's my pleasure, too.

So, maybe I'll just head
in and make sure he's okay.

He's fine, Ruth.

Okay.

Okay, I'm just gonna
head in and just see.

Oh!

For Heaven's sake,
could you please move

and let me do my job?

Ah,.

- What's going on?
- Papa?

Papa, are you okay?

Oh, my God.
Dad, are you alright?

Oh,
are you doing in here?

- Calm down.
- I got him. I got him.

Oh God, I grabbed,

I grabbed his peter.

Dad, did I grab your peter?

Get me out here.

Everyone give him space.

Rollie, are you all right?

That includes you, Ruth.

June, I think I
can take care of him.

Ruth, Ruth.

June is the medical
professional here.

Please, just let her do her job.

All right?

- Oh.
- Okay?

No problem.

I touch Dad's peter.

So, Dad, did you ever
meet June's husband

at auctions or anything?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Here and
there, now and then, turns out.

Between us,

I'd outbid him, every time.

- I would.
- Did you ever.

Your father was always
very competitive.

Yes, well, I am very
competitive, naturally.

I mean, I'm much more
competitive than any of you lot,

for a start.

Okay. I'm headed into town.

Anyone care to join me?

Dad, Ruth's asking
you a question.

Rollie, I thought
you might wanna come

and just stretch your
legs a little bit.

Oh, no thanks, Ruth.

Hey, Junie,

have you ever seen a
baby pig in formaldehyde?

I'm about to.

You are. Look at that.

Ew. Holy.

The
horror.

These are the cookies that
I was telling you about.

Oh, yeah.

Ooh, summer veggies.

Ah, they've got rhubarb in.

Eh.

So, Ruth, I'm sorry if this
is a very personal question,

but what exactly is your
relationship with my dad?

Oh, my goodness, well,

it's one of those hard-to-define
things, like a tomato.

Is it a fruit or
is it a vegetable?

It's a fruit?

Is it? Has that
been formalized?

Oh, that's nice.

Yes. That wasn't a
clear example for me.

Your father and I
go back a long way,

in terms of defining
it, as a relationship,

no, we haven't defined it.

Your father's a
tough nut to crack.

Well, I know all about that.

He drove my mom away.

Anyway, have you tried telling
him how you feel, at all?

No, not in so many words but

sometimes instead
of a green pepper,

I'll buy a yellow pepper.

Okay, so I'm not sure that

sends quite as direct a message

as you might think it does.

Well, I guess, I could
go for a red one next time,

but that seems pretty graphic.

Yeah. Okay.

So,

I'm just gonna cut to
the chase here, Ruth.

Do you see what's going on

at home?

- What?
- June, Ruth.

June is honing in on dad.

And unless you stand up

and start fighting for yo' man,

she is gonna snatch
him out from under you.

I don't wanna interfere.

This is about your
father's health and

June seems

nice.

She's not nice.

Tell me how you feel, Ruth.

Tell me how you actually
feel about June.

She has her imperfections.

- Good.
- But, who doesn't?

Sure. That's a
good place to start.

Okay, yeah. She's
got imperfections.

I wanna hear some of
those imperfections.

I don't, she's, she's,

I sometimes wonder
if she's as generous

as she pretends to be.

Yeah. Now, we're
talking, Ruth.

Now, we're speaking
the same language.

What else?

- She's.
- She's?

She's.

She's?

She's had her eyes on Rollie

since the moment she saw him!

That's my, right there.

That's exactly what
I'm talking about.

Everything okay, over there?

She's tapping into her anger!

Stay the out of it!

Okie-dokie.

Now, Ruth, we
are gonna go home

and you are gonna show my dad

that you are someone who cannot-

Yeah.

- And will not.
- I will not-

Be taken advantage of.

That's right.

And how are you gonna do that?

I'm gonna cook him
a very nice meal!

Okay. That is a start.

And not a bad start.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Well done. Oh, there's another
thing you're all good at.

Aw.

What's going on here?

Oh, come on in, you two.

We're just playing a game.

Right.
Whose go is it now?

Me, me, me, me, me.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Alright. And go.

Ah. Okay.

Gimme some clues.

Well, all right, calm down.

Give us a chance.

He's tall.

Oh, Michael Jordan.

Taller than Michael Jordan.

Wait, no. Maybe less tall.

Less tall.

Okay. Any other
attribute, Bryn, please?

Oh, he used to be a wrestler.

Oh, Hulk Hogan.

Doink, Doink the Clown?

Is it Doink the Clown?
Doink the Clown?

Doink? Doink the Clown?

No, it's not Doink the Clown.

Who is Doink the Clown?

He's taller than
Doink the Clown.

Jesus, Bryn. Anything
other than tall, please.

Ooh, time.

Ah.

Dwayne The Rock Johnson?!

Whoa. Doink the
Clown is only 5'10".

Oh, Jesus, Bryn.

Andy's right.

I think we let him
down on that one

because he was very good.

Rubbish.

Wow, it looks like you're
all having a nice, fun time,

playing a family game

with June, as well,
involved in that.

But you can probably head
home now June, because Ruth-

Is going to cook a
very special dinner.

Oh, that's really
nice of you, Ruthie.

But actually June's
already on it.

Yepper.

I have a nice healthy meal
in the oven, as we speak.

Does that qualify
as a nursing duty

or is that just a special perk?

Just a perk, I suppose.

Feels like a special perk.

Well, that's great.

I guess, tomorrow night, I'll
make a very special dinner

and maybe a little movie.

I noticed Netflix has
"Rocky IV," Rollie.

That's your favorite.

"Rocky IV."

Oh, what a film that is.

The only film to feature a boxer

who gives his
brother-in-law a robot

that's sort of a wife.

No, that's true.
It's true, it's true.

Really?

But we'll have to do all
that some other time, Ruthie.

Because tomorrow, me and June
are popping across the island

to check out an auction, so.

Everything okay, Ruth?

I'm sorry.

I don't know why I did that.

I guess, it's because I
wanna spend time with you

and you're choosing to
spend time with June

and my body seems to
be rejecting that.

It's so weird.

That's very expressive, Ruth.

Dad, Ruth is expressing herself.

Well, come with us, if you want.

Oh, sure.

Little third wheel,
type of thing.

That sounds like a lot of fun.

No, it doesn't have
to be that way, Ruth.

Shut up.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ruth, June is a
guest in our house.

Oh, that's funny because
I thought that guests

went home at a certain point.

Oh, Goddamn.

I suppose, I should go then.

No, no, no, please.

Yes, June, sit
down and I'll go.

Oh, no, you don't, Ruth.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

And listen,

if my clothes fit you,

why don't you start
wearing those, too?

You coming, Bryn?

No.

Okay.

Ruth, don't.

Well, I hope you're happy, Andy.

You and June just drove
away a wonderful woman.

Ruth drove herself away.

Is that what you think?

Yes.

Well, maybe it's
because she's panicking

because she and
dad had a beautiful

little Odd-Couple
relationship going,

and then you introduced
some new lady into it

and drove 'em apart.

Just like in "Grumpy Old Men."

This is not like
"Grumpy Old Men."

This is exactly
like "Grumpy Old Men."

Have you seen
"Grumpy Old Men?"

Yes, I have
seen "Grumpy Old Men."

- Have you?
- Yes, I have.

Have you?

"Grumpy Old Men" is about two

grumpy old men who
hate each other

and fall in love
with the same woman.

Wrong.

"Grumpy Old Men" is
about two grumpy old men

who appear to hate each other,

but secretly love each other

and have a great rapport,

and deep down, you just
know they're.

And then a lady comes along and
gets in the way of all that.

I'm going to sleep.

Okay.

Sleep tight, Andy.

Sleep tight, knowing the
destruction you've caused.

There we go.

Thanks.

Ah, I wonder where Ruth's gone.

Oh, don't worry
about her, Rollie.

She'll be fine.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, she'll be fine.

You know, you don't have
to stick around so late.

Promise, I won't
tuck in at the first

salty snack I see as
soon as you leave.

I don't mind staying late.

I mean, it's not like I
have anyone to get home to.

Husband's dead.

Yes, as you keep saying.

Yeah. I never told
you how he died though.

It's kind of a funny story.

You see,

he put so much into his museum,

but because of your antics,

he never got a
chance to succeed.

Anyway, long story, short,

he went outta business and
drank himself to death.

Oh.

Well, sorry, June,
I didn't know.

It's really all right, Rollie.

Ah.

Everybody has to die sometime.

Well, you say that-

There.

There you go.

Yeah.

Chloroform takes a lot longer
than most people think.

There we go.

Oh, we relaxing now?

Oh, it's just like
a massage, isn't it?

A massage inside your head.

Here we go.

Night, night.

Boop.

Listen, Molly,

thank you for taking me in

and listening to my sob story.

I didn't hear any sobbing.

Just a lot of jaw-clenching
and mime-strangling,

which I really connected with.

I appreciate it.

Well, I'm gonna
go do up your bed.

You need a toothbrush?

I gotta spare, but the
bristles are rock hard.

That's how I like 'em.

It's all right.

I put some stuff in my

purse.

What's wrong?

Oh, my goodness. I think I
took June's purse, by mistake.

- Whoa.
- Oh, no. Put that down.

- Let me see
- Molly.

Oh, found this.

That looks like a diary.

Molly, I'm gonna ask you again

to respect June's privacy.

And if you don't, I'm going
to ask you a third time.

Fine. It's your life.

Night, night, Ruth.

He's awake.

Geez, I hope those
robes aren't too tight.

You okay?

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

You know, after my Davy died,

I was consumed by
thoughts of revenge.

I just, I didn't know how
I was gonna pull it off.

And then, poof.

Your son calls my place of work

asking for a home
care worker for you.

And I swear, it felt like God

was tapping me on
the shoulder saying,

"Uh, June, did you forget
you wanted to kill this guy?"

Anyway, after a few days

trying to get rid of
Ruth, here we are.

Any last words?

Well said.

Put that

needle down

now.

Please.

Hello, Ruth.

June.

I found your diary

and I almost read it

before I realized that
would be very rude

and I decided to return it.

But now I see that you're
the one who's very rude.

Unless I'm wrong about
what's going on here,

and then, I do apologize.

Ah!

Ugh.

What was that?

No, I think dad and
June are having sex.

No, I heard
banging and thumping.

Yeah, what part of having
sex do you not understand?

I do not want to
walk in on this.

Ah!

Oh, my God.

Dad?

Oh, God, Ruth snapped.
She's here for revenge.

She attacked me.

She's trying to
kill your father.

See, I told you
June was a bad person.

Get her, Andy, get her.

No, she's lying.

She came back and found
your father and I together

and she tried to kill me.

This is so hard to know.

I'm pretty sure Ruth
would never do this,

but I'd be lying if I
said I was, like, certain.

June's the
killer, you Muppets.

Okay. Yep.

June's bad. Ruth's good.

Get her, Andy.

Fine. It's me.

Now, stay back!

June.

How did you ever
expect to get away

with something like this?

Air bubble in the needle

causing a heart attack.

I would've made sure
that it was too late

by the time he got
to the hospital.

That's actually pretty clever.

- That would've worked.
- Well thought out.

But the time of
subtlety is over.

You took away the love
of my life, Rollie.

Now I'm gonna take away yours.

Well, we've never really
defined our relationship

but I'm certainly not
the love of his life.

Yes, you are, Ruth.

You have been for a long time.

Aw.

Wow, touching.

You just signed
your death warrant.

But it was a lovely moment.

Do you have any last words?

Yes.

I forgot to return your purse.

Oh.

Jah.

Well, June is in stable
condition, down the hall,

if you'd like to
check in on her,

but I'm sure that
you don't.

You know, because she
tried to kill you.

Yeah, so how you feeling, Dad?

Oh, much better.
Thank you, Mark.

Now that I'm no
longer in the clutches

of a deranged murderer.

By the way, thank you
very much, Andrew.

Fine bit of due diligence there.

She was from the Home Care
Service. It's not my fault.

Nobody's blaming you, Andrew.

I am.

Yes, I am, also.

Me too.

Hey, that's three
outta four, for blaming.

You sure you don't wanna
change your mind there, Ruth?

Oh, all right.
I blame you, too.

Mm.

All right, clean sweep.

Well, I'm just
gonna go bring June

this casserole, I whipped up.

Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

She just tried to kill you.

Oh, well that's
in the past, now.

You can't hold onto
a grudge forever.

Geez. That woman is a saint.

Well, indeed, she is,

which is apparent to us all,

apart from Andy, of course.

I said it
was sorry. Okay?

Andy technically
qualifies as an accomplice here.

Oh, I, what?

He might be, I think.

* You can make your life
a misery if you try *

* You can take a smile
and change it to a sigh *

* But by now, throw
off that shroud *

* And a look beyond the cloud

* 'Cause there's an awful
lot of sunshine in the sky *

* La-da-di-da-di-da
La-da-di-da-di-da *

* Yes, there's an
awful lot of sunshine *

* In the sky