All language subtitles for Cavendish.S01E06.The.Coven.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Hey, man, I found a
hornet's nest in the backyard.

I was gonna go
swing a stick at it

and then run for my life.

You wanna join?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, normal answer.

What you got here?

It's a letter from a literary
magazine I submitted to.

Good news?

I haven't opened it yet.

What are you waiting for?

I'm just a little
nervous 'cause--

- Gimme this.
- Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark.

I am going to read it.

That's what I'm here for.

Yeah, but what if it's bad?

What if it's bad?

What if it's good, hmm?

Yeah.

For all you know, Andrew,

they gave you the centerfold
of the damn thing.

Literary magazines
don't have centerfolds.

They don't?

They should.

Here we go.

"Dear Mr. Tenison,"

- That's a good start.
- Not bad.

- That's a good start.
- Not bad.

"We are writing
regarding your short story,

"'A Tall Drink of Winter.'

"We feel given your
numerous past submissions,

"a detailed response
is only fitting."

How many times have you
submitted to these guys?

- 30, keep going.
- All right.

"You have achieved
something very rare

"with your latest story
in that it manages

"to be both technically inept
and artistically worthless."

Yeah, all right,
let's, let's just--

"That you achieve both

- "with your weak-chinned pros.
- Mark, Mark,

"is no small feat
of ineptitude."

- Just give it to me.
- Weak-chinned pros, hold on.

There's way more.

* De da-de, da-de,
da-de, da-de, da *

Thank you for
saving my son, Travel Dog,

and good luck to ye
where ever you're bound.

What is this?

Is this The Littlest Hobo?

Travel Dog, it's
like The Littlest Hobo,

except the dog in this
one isn't neutered.

Okay, yeah, yeah,
I see that now.

He is really going
to town there.

Great, yikes, okay.

Andy, come on, pal.

Let's go outside.

Let's go have some fun.

- What is fun?
- All right, look at me.

Look at me.

Hey, up here.

Now there is a little
saying I like to quote

when I get knocked down
and it goes like this.

I get knocked down,
but I get up again,

'cause you are never
gonna keep me down,

and you know who
said that, Andy?

- Chumbawamba?
- Chumbawamba

in their 1997 opus Tub
Thumping, a song about a young,

presumably Irish
lad named Danny Boy,

who always got up after
he'd been knocked down.

Now that's what
we're gonna do, Andy.

So let's get on our feet.

Let's get up again.

- No.
- Come on.

Respect my boundaries, Mark.

Respect your brother's
boundaries, okay?

- Fine.
- Hey, is everything okay?

Yeah, Andy's just being
a mopey piece of crap,

because his stupid
short story got rejected

by some magazine.

Well, there are two ways
of dealing with rejection.

You can either sit and
mope about it all day

until your soul shrivels inside
you like an old, dead shrub

or, or you can kill yourself.

That's it?

Those are my two options?

I always think a support
system is very important.

I mean, that's what
I get from my coven.

I think we should get
these goodies back.

Ruth, before you leave,
heard the word coven.

Would love some elaboration
on that if possible.

It's nothing too exciting.

It's just a 200-year-old
pagan society

that gets together under
various moon phases

to spend quality time together.

Bryn's a part of it.

I blow the horn.

Yeah, the summoning horn.

Actually, tonight is
our monthly esbat.

That's witch-speak for meeting.

You're more than
welcome to join us.

Might make you feel better.

Thank you, Ruth,
but I think I'm

just gonna stay and watch--

No, that sounds
wonderful, Ruth.

We will absolutely be there.

That's the spirit, boys.

Oh, look, Travel Dog.

Oh, I used to love this.

Yeah, did you know
this holds the record

for the most dog
pregnancies ever on set?

Oh, that is fun.

- Oh.
- Whoa.

Oh.

This is great.

Man, this town is light
on appropriate witchwear.

What about this?

This is too sexy, right?

You are not gonna fit in that.

It looks like an IUD.

I'll make it work.

Why are we doing this?

Doing what?

Hanging out with a bunch of
middle aged women pretending

to be witches.

Are you kidding me, Andy?

This is gonna be awesome.

How often do you get invited
to be part of a coven?

Oh man, I hope we get to
slit our palms into a goblet

and make a wish for what
we truly want to Manu.

What would you wish
for, Andy, from Manu?

Who's Manu?

Manu is the force that
controls all things

in at least one
teen witch movie,

but you have to be careful,

because he will
take your peer group

and split it apart
faster than you can sell.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

Shut up for a second.

You were talking.

The hell is that?

Whoa, whoa, where the hell
did this place come from?

Some say it appeared
out of nowhere one night.

Others say that we obtained
all the necessary permits

and opened two weeks
after some quick renos.

Used to be a Marvelous Muffins.

How may I help you?

Well, we were recently
invited to join a coven,

and we were hoping
to get something

to wear for our first esbat.

Oh, may I interest
you in robes?

Oh, hell yeah.

Now we're talking.

We have many options,
full floor length

for the traditional witch,

knee length for
the naughty witch,

and shear for the witch
who's looking to turn up

and horn down.

I think traditional
sounds good, unless, Andy,

are you looking to
turn up and horn down?

Traditional is fine.

Traditional then.

Would you like them wrapped?

No, that's okay.

We'll just wear
'em on outta here.

I do have a question about
this curtain behind you.

Seems to be housing
something rather fun.

Any chance I could
snag a peek back there?

The things contained
in that room are not

for the casual consumer.

Therein lies a darkness you
could not possibly understand,

you who appear to have
known no true suffering.

Oh yeah, you know what?

That is true.

You, on the other hand,

you are more than ready
to see what lies therein.

It's clear you've suffered
much during your, I wanna say,

45 years on this earth.

I'm 34, and I don't wanna
see what's in your stupid room.

Okay, suit yourself.

Ticked them off.

Were you boys looking
to pay cash or credit?

I knew we shouldn't
have worn these.

No one else is dressed up.

We look good, man.

You look good.

I look amazing.

You look like a porno wizard.

Yeah, like I said,
I look amazing.

Anyway, don't worry.

This is all just preamble.

Things are gonna get
real weird before long.

Okay, everybody, thanks
for coming to the esbat.

Let's get this thing
formally started.

Bryn, sweetie, want
to cronk your horn?

Terrific, bring forth the quilt.

Hey, what's gonna happen
with this guy later?

We gonna sacrifice him or
sacrifice something to him?

Oh no, Monty is my
emotional support snake.

Having him nearby helps
me with my anxiety.

Okay, that sucks.

A little bit of housekeeping.

It's solstice this weekend.

So we will be
adding a new panel.

Also, it's potluck.

So this time, let's coordinate

so we don't all
bring desserts again.

Thank you, ladies.

Thank you.

Now it's my favorite
part of the night.

I'd like to introduce
one of the newest members

of our group, Andy
Tenison, to come up

and open our sharing circle
with a few words about

what it was that brought
him here tonight, Andy?

I'm okay, thanks.

I'm all right.

I'll speak, Ruth, if you want
me to say some kind of dark,

weird stuff.

Oh no, I'd like to hear Andy.

Come on, Andy, give it a chance.

Might make you feel better.

Atta-boy.

All right.

I'm not usually one
to talk about myself,

but I guess I'll give it a try.

Whew, it's been a rough day.

Actually, it's been
a rough couple years.

I'm trying to be a writer,

but it seems like with
every new rejection,

it's more and more
of a pipe dream.

I have so much to say.

I just feel like the world
doesn't wanna listen sometimes.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- It's all right.
- I'm sorry.

- It's all right.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Let it out, let it out.

oh, this is nice.

Oh God, this feels
so good, oh my God.

Hey, how's this
for a new vibe?

You guys into this or shift
the tone a little bit?

Cut our hands open for Manu?

Hey, for Manu?

What you got there?

Oh, just making a little
list of, well, have a seat.

Have a seat.

I wanna run some stuff by you.

Okay.

So last night, huh?

- Oof.
- What do you mean?

Just the whole vibe, you know?

Hanging out, hugging,
eating cheese.

Like am I the only one
whose heard of witchcraft?

Hello, so I compiled a
bit of a list of things

that I was going to propose
at the next meeting,

just to see if we could all move

towards a more coven-y
direction in the future.

So number one, and this one
seems obvious, more spells,

any spells really.

Number two, movie night, Blair
Witch, Witches of Eastwick.

If it's got witch in the title,

it's probably gonna take
us in the right direction.

- Number three--
- I don't know, Mark.

They've been running this
whole thing for 200 years.

Everyone seems happy.

Yes, but is the point
of a coven to be happy?

That's sort of a bigger
picture question.

Where are you headed?

Oh, I'm actually headed
to hang out with some

of the people from the coven.

Oh, great, we can talk
about these things there.

Oh, they specifically asked
for me not to bring you.

You kind of gave off a bit
of a weird vibe last night.

What?

Well, you asked to
sacrifice Deb's snake.

That's her pet.

It's a snake at a coven, Andy.

I mean, come on.

It's like bringing regular
tea to an ice tea convention.

At a certain point,
that teas getting iced.

Okay, it's not a perfect
metaphor, but I'm sorry.

I'm feeling flustered
and a bit off my game.

I'm like a guy who's normally
on his game, but me.

Goddamn it this is hard.

Mark, Mark, Mark, it's okay.

Look, it's just a little
rejection and, oh,

how do I put this?

What do you do when
you get knocked down?

You get back up again.

- You mother--
- Danny Boy.

Oh, you mother!

But you're my favorite child.

- Hey, man.
- Hey.

I'd like to return
these robes if I could.

Well, the black
underwear is final sale.

I can only take the robes
if they're unbloodied.

Well, no worries there, man.

Or any other fluids.

You don't have to worry
about anything, I promise you.

Okay, just, I've had people
try to return these robes

in the past, and it wasn't cool.

- Right.
- Let's just say

after Eyes Wide Shut,
everything changed.

Uh-huh, yeah, well, these
are clean robes, I promise you.

So no need to worry.

Just to be a
hundred percent clear,

I'm talking about semen.

I know exactly what
you're talking about.

Okay, just had to check.

- Yeah.
- You look different today.

Tasted darkness,
perhaps rejection?

Yeah, yeah, you
could say that again.

Perhaps you are
ready to see what's

beyond the blue
curtain, but know this.

For all that cross this
threshold, they must be prepared

to walk the left hand path.

Welcome to my unholy sanctum.

As you can see, we have a wide
selection of spells, tomes,

and some light pornography.

Oh, that's cool, man, thanks.

Naked for Satan, The
Blacked Trist, Ass 5.

Yeah, no, I'm not super into
that, but thank you so much.

Okay, but if I may say, if
you were put off by Ass 4,

Ass 5 puts the franchise
right back on track.

Not super familiar
with the franchise,

but you were saying something
about a left hand path?

It is a rejection of a
society whose values reject you,

and it can all be found here.

Oh, hell yeah.

You know, I think
it's time Cavendish

got itself a real coven.

Okay, okay, I'll
read something.

Oh, it's supposed to be
read with an Irish brobe.

So pot of gold, pot of gold.

Daniel Day Lewis.

Okay, I got it, okay.

"Slade knelt by
the unfrozen pond.

"The water looked
good, pure, wet.

"He tasted it, felt its
cool wetness slide into him.

"'Surely many have drunk of
this frigid draft,' he thought.

"'this jelled moist
water, water, father?

"'My God.'"

Oh my goodness.

That was wonderful, and
that word you used, jelled,

what does that mean?

It's kind of a word
that's hard to define,

but I definitely know how
to use it in a sentence.

Just to put this out there,

maybe you could write
us an opening invocation

for the solstice
weaving this weekend,

something that you
could read to the town.

I would love to.

Thank you.

That's fantastic.

Oh, I kind of feel like a cool
wetness is sliding into me.

Baffomet, Amon, Moloch,
and Baal, lords of darkness,

look upon us this night with
hungry eyes and angry bones.

We beseech thee and
thee and thee and thee.

Thank you for being
here, everyone.

Thank you so much.

Bryn, thank you
for crossing over.

I was promised a bigger horn.

And you shall receive
your bigger horn.

Now, Yeah, Felix,
you got a question?

I bought a fair jag over
at me last night there.

Now I got bit of the
tummy grumblies and all.

Tummy grumblies, you
need to go to the bathroom.

Is that what you're--

Oh yeah, well, I gotta pinch

off Mike Duffy 'fore too long.

Okay, well, that is
very colorful imagery,

and you are welcome
to use the bathroom.

You do not need to ask.

I'll peg her down for
another half hour or so.

Continue on with your
Halloween chitchat or whatnot.

All right, let's break this
down, Ladies and gentlemen.

There is a 200-year-old
book club in this town

that calls themselves a coven.

This weekend they will be
celebrating the solstice

presumably by holding
hands and singing kumbaya.

Well, I say that we show them
what a real coven looks like.

So any ideas for
what we should do?

No wrong answers.

Yeah, Travis.

We could do a panty raid.

So, just so I'm a
hundred percent clear,

that's where we would break
into their houses and--

Steal their panties.

Steal their panties, right.

So, okay, I just wanna thank
Travis right off the bat

for being the first person
to give a suggestion.

That's never easy there.

I'm not gonna write
that one down,

'cause I feel like it's
just a little bit off base

for what we're looking
for here, but yeah,

let's try to keep this in
the realm of dark magic.

You did say there
were no wrong answers.

Yep, I did say that, but
how about starting now,

now that we all know
the parameters, okay?

Yes.

I like the panty raid idea.

Panty raid idea is
not on the table, Bryn.

It's not on the table at all.

Here's all you need to
know, dark magic, spells.

How about that?

We could use spells to make
their panties come to us,

Okay, mm.

just like the
sorcerer's apprentice.

Yeah, stop, stop doing that.

I'm so serious.

I'm so angry, and
I'm so serious.

Felix, what do you need, man?

What do you need?

We could use some of the
aberjaber what was working

on there to take care
of the tummy grumblies.

Go to the bathroom.

I have given you multiple
green lights on that front.

You know what, guys?

Look around.

We are sitting in an atmosphere
of absolute darkness here.

Get inspired, get inspired.

Pain, you must have
some cool ideas.

Come on, come on.

I do have a cauldron.

Now we're talking.

It'd be the perfect place
to store all the panties.

- Oh my God.
- Yes.

Stop it, stop it!

Okay, guys, you know what?

Everything you're pitching
here is child's play.

I'm talking about something big.

I'm talking about tearing
at the very fabric

of what they hold, of
what they hold dear,

and I think I know
which fabric to tear.

Are you sure you're not saying
exactly what we're saying?

No, Bryn, I am
not talking about,

I'm not talking about panties.

Friends, hello and welcome
to the 200th Official Summer

Solstice Gathering.

Today, we are gathered
to bear witness

to everyone's favorite
coven of heretics

as they weave a new chapter
into their pagan story.

Please welcome Andy Tenison.

Thank you, Madam Mayor.

This is a little poem
of dedication titled "Summer Into Me."

"Beloved sun, your rays like,"

Mark?

Good afternoon, everyone.

What?

I said Good
afternoon, everyone.

We can't hear you, man,
the music's too loud.

What'd you say?

Music's too loud?

Yeah.

All right, one
second, one second.

Just turn it off.

How's that?

Oh, that's so much better.

- Is that better?
- Yeah.

Okay, Felix, do
you wanna take that?

Take that from me, please.

I'll see if I can get it
far before I get a smoke.

Nope, don't sell it.

All right, all right.

So this is what passes for
witchcraft in this town, is it,

barbecues, touch football,
and races in the potato sack?

Mark, why don't
you just calm down

and come hang out with us?

Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you, Andrew?

You'd love it if we just
hung out like chums.

You may notice
that we are guided

towards a greater purpose now.

So why don't you
take your invitation

and shove it up your ass.

I'm here for one thing only,
to watch the world burn,

either literally
or figuratively!

Bryn, give it a skronk.

Hell yeah, bitch!

Let's rock!

The quilt, ah!

No, Mark, stop, stop, stop.

This isn't you.

You don't know
anything about me, Andy.

I only care about one
thing now, destruction.

Oh my God.

Now watch as I tear the very
fabric of your reality apart.

That's not taught enough.

Gotta get it taught.

No!

Ow, ow, Andy, ow, Andy,
Andy, you're hurting me.

Ow, ow, ow, okay, okay, okay.

All of this because you got
rejected once in your life!

Give me the quilt, Andrew!

This is not your quilt.

This is the witch's quilt.

It's our quilt.

- Come on!
- I'm the only one

at this solstice who's a witch!

Such violence on the solstice.

This is not what being
a witch is about.

This is exactly what being
a witch is about, right Pain?

I don't know, man.

This feels less like witchcraft
and more like bullying.

Yeah, we really should
have done the panty raid.

The panty raid was never
on the table, Travis.

- I think the--
- Never, that was never

on the table.

Thank you
for saving my daughter

from those human
traffickers, Travel Dog,

and good luck to ye
wherever you're bound.

I don't know how
you do it, Andy.

You get rejected every day.

It's honestly amazing you
haven't taken your own life

by now.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, hey, I'm sorry I got
you kicked outta your coven.

It's okay.

Sorry I hurt your wrist.

Oh, it's okay.

It's all right.

You wanna watch
another episode?

Yeah.

I'll find you,
Travel Dog, and when I do,

I'll neuter you in a safe
and professional manner,

because I am the veterinarian.

This show is
weird as hell, man.

Yeah, it's really good.

Yeah.

* You can make your life
a misery if you try *

* You can take a smile
and change it to a sigh *

* But by not throw
off that trow *

* And the look
beyond the cloud *

* Because there's an awful
lot of sunshine in the sky *

* De, da-de, da-de,
da-de, da-de, da *

* Yes, there's an awful lot
of sunshine in the sky *