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1
00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:09,477
* Just between you and me
2
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,812
* Baby, I know
3
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:14,648
Hey, you know you could
just try talking to her
4
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:15,916
if you want.
5
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,218
Unless you're just
trying to stare at her
6
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,752
until she, I don't know,
7
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,788
caves under the weight
of your creepy glare.
8
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,456
I'm not staring
at her. I wasn't...
9
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,624
Not staring at her?
10
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,458
I wasn't staring.
I was just...
11
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,426
What are you doing?
12
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,527
There's something on her...
13
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,461
You know what,
I don't care, man.
14
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,063
What are we doing this weekend?
15
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,331
I don't... Well, I mean...
16
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:33,000
Wrong answer,
because we, you and I,
17
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,070
are going to Charlottetown
to see Laverne!
18
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,240
What the hell is Laverne?
19
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,808
Laverne the Incredibilist!
20
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,243
The greatest hypnotist in
the history of the Maritimes?
21
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,277
Remember,
22
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:46,180
* You seldom forget Laverne
23
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,481
Seldom?
24
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,816
Yeah, wasn't the most
confident slogan.
25
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,050
Mark, I don't want
to go to Charlottetown
26
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,719
and see some weird hypnotist
27
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,454
make people think they're
chickens or whatever.
28
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,489
He doesn't make people
think they're chickens, Andy.
29
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:56,924
What does he do?
30
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,759
He makes them think
they crapped their pants.
31
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,027
Is that it? That's
the only thing he does?
32
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,462
He doesn't need
to do anything else.
33
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,365
I'm gonna take a
hard pass on that. I'm-
34
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,033
You are insane, man.
35
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,369
We, it... We will make
a whole day of this.
36
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:09,737
- Do you hear what I'm saying?
- I, yeah...
37
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,672
Get to Charlottetown,
we go eat COWS ice cream,
38
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,141
best in the Maritimes,
39
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,642
then we go to Charlottetown's
Empire State Building,
40
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,044
now eight stories high!
41
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,412
And then if there's
time before Laverne,
42
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,847
we go watch
"Confederation Times."
43
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:20,681
- You heard of this?
- No.
44
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:21,915
It's a live show
45
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,084
where the original
fathers of Confederation
46
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,986
duke it out with
old-timey weapons
47
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,756
while you and I eat
big ol' turkey legs.
48
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:33,294
Okay, fellas...
Whoa, is that Laverne?
49
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,795
Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah! You know him?
50
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,931
Ah! He is like my favorite
hypnotist of all time.
51
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,066
You like multiple hypnotists?
52
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,368
I always wanted to see him,
53
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,970
but he never came to Cavendish.
54
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:46,006
Well, we are going to
see him in Charlottetown
55
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,875
this weekend, if
you want to join us.
56
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,277
- Mark...
- Shush, shut up!
57
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:52,480
Oh! Oh, well, Jacob's
with his dad this weekend.
58
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,881
But I was gonna build
a little hunting blind,
59
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,416
see if I can't finally
take down that squirrel
60
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,318
that's been ransacking
my bird feeder.
61
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,952
I'm gonna take his
eyes when I get him.
62
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,254
What? Why his eyes?
63
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,855
Then again, this does
sound more fun, so I'm in.
64
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:02,856
Great news!
65
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,092
Great! Great.
66
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:12,132
* Di-da di-da di-da
di-da di-da di-da *
67
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,002
Mark, can we just not
do this? I'm not going.
68
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,171
Come on, Andy,
we are going to see
69
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,440
the best hypnotist in the
history of the Maritimes,
70
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,108
and you're gonna
have a whole day
71
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,643
to spend time getting
to know Molly.
72
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,111
I already know
Molly doesn't like me,
73
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,347
I don't want to be any
more humiliated, so no.
74
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,882
Hey, where's this
negativity coming from?
75
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,684
Me! That's who I am.
76
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,052
Well, not today,
it's not, okay?
77
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,755
Today, you're new Andy,
confident Andy, good Andy,
78
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,791
the kind of Andy with all those
special talents I know about
79
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,760
that any woman would love.
80
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,396
Talents that include writing...
81
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,468
You're trying to think of
a second compliment for me,
82
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:48,902
aren't you?
83
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:49,970
Wrong, I'm actually
rethinking the first one,
84
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,605
because I said you could write,
85
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,174
but then I was like,
"Can he write?"
86
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,676
Never actually seen
any evidence of that.
87
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,578
That's great. Thank
you so much, Mark.
88
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,812
Anyway.
89
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,180
Why are you bringing
so much stuff?
90
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,615
Charlottetown is
like 30 minutes away.
91
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,050
This is supposed to
be like a day trip.
92
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,052
Hey, it's a road trip, Andy.
93
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,254
And besides, you'll
be thanking me
94
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,821
when you get hungry
at minute 10,
95
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:11,559
and I just so happen to have
a cooler full of deviled eggs.
96
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,561
Oh, one sec.
97
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:14,995
Where are you going?
98
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,364
I gotta go get my passport
and my travel pillow.
99
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,399
It's 30 minutes away!
100
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,234
* I'm going up the country
101
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:24,071
* Baby, don't you wanna go
102
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,473
Oh, my gosh, guys,
103
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,675
I cannot tell you
how exciting this is.
104
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,577
Anyone want an egg?
Molly, nice egg?
105
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,812
Molly? Everything okay, Molly?
106
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,948
Yeah! Yeah, I guess I'm
just a little nervous.
107
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,751
Never been to the
big city before.
108
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:41,088
Oh, uh, technically, I, I
went to Moncton with my uncle,
109
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,923
but we didn't make it
out of the bus station.
110
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,526
- What happened?
- He died.
111
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,860
Got hit by a couple of buses.
112
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,195
I'm sorry, a couple of buses?
113
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,664
First bus knocked him
into the second bus.
114
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:51,965
Third bus finished him off.
115
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,667
So three buses, okay.
116
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,235
Well, if that's what you're
worried about, Molly...
117
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,104
That is not all that
I am worried about.
118
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,506
What else are
you worried about?
119
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,775
Uh, the muggings, the
murders, the roving gangs!
120
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,611
There's no roving
gangs in Charlottetown,
121
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:06,079
because Charlottetown is
not the big city, alright?
122
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,416
It's got an entire
population of...
123
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,284
- What's the population, Andy?
- 36,000.
124
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:13,421
36,000, Molly! That's
it, 36,000 people.
125
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:16,156
Christ, imagine the
sound of all those mouths
126
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,459
chewing and swallowing
at the same time.
127
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,894
Yeah, imagining one mouth
doing that would be horrifying,
128
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,864
so instead let's imagine
all the fun we're gonna have
129
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:27,701
and then stop imagining
that because we're here.
130
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,772
* Good friend, it's
been a long time *
131
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:39,313
* Since I've seen you
132
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:43,651
* Ooh-ooh-ooh
133
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:48,722
* These days we know nothin
134
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:55,228
* Just a memory
of youthful days *
135
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:03,971
* Ooh-ooh-ooh
136
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,976
* Ooh-ooh-ooh
137
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,417
Crazy!
138
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,652
When John A. McDonald smoked
Joseph Howe with that mace,
139
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,920
I was like, "What!"
140
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,456
Oh, and then, when
Thomas D'Arcy McGee
141
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,925
cut off Ambrose Shea's
arm with that broadsword,
142
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,794
I thought my head
was gonna explode.
143
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:27,961
Hell yeah, you guys.
144
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,229
Well, if you thought
that was good,
145
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:32,900
just wait until we take
in the hypnotic stylings
146
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,703
of eastern Canada's
favorite aging hypnotist.
147
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,506
I honestly can't
wait.
148
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:40,674
Um, what's wrong?
149
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,510
Oh, nothing. Just
thought that the Playhouse
150
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,778
was supposed to be around here,
151
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:48,849
but can't seem to get
a signal anymore, so...
152
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:52,620
Are you sure this is the right
area? It seems a bit rough.
153
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:55,956
Nah, I think we're probably
close. Let's keep going.
154
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,892
Let's just keep, keep going.
155
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,665
Alright, we
definitely have to turn around.
156
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,099
This is not the way
to the Playhouse.
157
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,301
Relax, we still got plenty
of time till the show.
158
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,037
Besides, we did turn
around 10 minutes ago.
159
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:10,971
What?
160
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,205
Yeah, okay, we're quite lost.
161
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,273
I don't know what
you want me to say.
162
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,508
But it's gonna be fine.
163
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,143
- It's not fine!
- What is fine about this?
164
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,211
It's going to be fine.
165
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,413
I'm sorry, it's
going to be fine.
166
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,548
It will be fine.
167
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,615
Where are we?
Where are we, Mark?
168
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,116
I don't know that!
169
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,052
Dear God, this is exactly
what I knew would happen.
170
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,687
Now I'm gonna get
kidnapped by a drug dealer
171
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,221
and forced to steal cars.
172
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,356
Okay, I don't even know
173
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,424
what you're referencing
anymore, Molly.
174
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:31,592
Come on, Mark!
175
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:32,560
Oh, you get
that? You get that?
176
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,127
Yes, City Fears! City Fears!
177
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,596
City Fears, Mark.
178
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:36,764
City Fears?
179
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,031
- Don't be dumb!
- Don't be dumb, Mark!
180
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,500
Don't be dumb? You
say that I'm being dumb?
181
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,901
Okay, shayyshh!
182
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,237
Shayyshh! Both of you, shayyshh!
183
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,773
Shayyshh?
184
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:49,409
Now you leave this to me,
and I will find a way to...
185
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,612
There we go, look at
that. Look at that.
186
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,547
- What?
- Ask and ye shall receive.
187
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,882
- A fellow man.
- No.
188
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,685
A man who I'm going
to ask for directions.
189
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:58,852
Mark, Mark, no, no,
no. Don't, don't, don't.
190
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,387
Oh, no!
191
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,589
I'm pretty sure
he's not a drug dealer
192
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,890
who's gonna force
me to steal cars,
193
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,558
if that's what you're afraid of.
194
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:05,726
Leave it to me.
195
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,328
Uh, excuse me, sir.
196
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,397
I was hoping you could
give me some directions.
197
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,602
- Oh, dear God!
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
198
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,169
That's the face of a demon.
199
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,938
That's a demon, man, and he's,
he's reaching for something.
200
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,107
Let's go! Pick it up, let's go!
201
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,910
Let's go, Molly!
202
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,480
Okay, okay, okay. Just,
just, just calm down.
203
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,115
Just calm down and
forget all about that guy
204
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,382
and the way that he sounded.
205
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:30,417
Can you guys still
hear his breathing?
206
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,952
I'm gonna forget it.
207
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:32,920
Yeah, yeah, we're all gonna
be hearing that breathing
208
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,454
for a long time.
209
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,189
But that's fine because he's
not there and we're in here,
210
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,090
so we're good.
211
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,828
We're more or less good.
212
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,597
Alright, come on, come on.
213
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,769
Hi, everyone! Nice place.
214
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,340
Hi, there. Got a quick
question for you.
215
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:56,243
Order first,
then ask questions.
216
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,946
Makes sense. Okay, you
guys know what you want?
217
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,548
- What's your house red?
- What?
218
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:03,450
Jesus, Andy. We'll just
get three beers, please.
219
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,186
So now that we have ordered,
here's my little query...
220
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,755
How the hell do we get
out of Charlottetown?
221
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:08,756
Not what I was gonna ask.
222
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,190
We're going to the Playhouse.
223
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,925
Do you know how to
get to the Playhouse?
224
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,561
The Playhouse, eh?
225
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:17,197
You wouldn't happen to be
seeing Laverne, would ya'?
226
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,500
Yes.
227
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,670
I knew it! Yes!
228
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,437
He is terrific, isn't he?
229
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,574
The way that he
makes people think
230
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:27,908
that they crapped their pants?
231
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:28,809
Mwah!
232
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,511
- Yeah, we like him a lot.
- Big fans.
233
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,280
The Playhouse is real close.
234
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,483
I've got a map,
I'll show it to you.
235
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:41,254
Okay, sounds great. Mmm!
236
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,522
Mark, don't leave us here.
237
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,490
What's the problem?
238
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,892
I'm gonna be right over there.
239
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,060
Just talk to Molly. Don't
be a coward, come on.
240
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,905
Ooh.
Scary place, huh?
241
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,476
- So, we're here.
- Okay.
242
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:06,046
And the Playhouse is
there. Pretty close!
243
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,482
So yeah, we must have taken
a wrong turn going up there.
244
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,752
And, uh, what's this area
we're in right now called?
245
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,254
- Old Charlottetown.
- Old Charlottetown.
246
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,923
It's mostly pretty
nice people around here,
247
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,257
except for the gangs.
248
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,491
Oh, there are gangs?
249
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,260
There are gangs around,
gangs around here?
250
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,295
Oh yeah. Swarms of 'em.
251
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,563
Swarms.
252
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,165
And all with their
own aesthetic theme.
253
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:28,435
Trashies, Dirtrags,
Scarlet Letters.
254
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,671
Technically, they all
have their own turf,
255
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,340
but, eh, they tend to rove.
256
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,077
Roving gangs, great.
257
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,112
Okay, well, I am gonna
keep that information
258
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,180
from those two over there,
259
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,382
'cause they might freak out.
260
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,651
Ah, don't be afraid.
261
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,052
They won't hurt ya'
unless you cross 'em
262
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:46,186
or they feel like it.
263
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:59,032
Hey, do you know what I was
thinking of the other day?
264
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,534
Mrs. Finley. Remember her?
265
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:02,803
No.
266
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,371
Our third-grade
teacher, remember her?
267
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,507
She always used to say, uh,
"Pencils down." Remember that?
268
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,009
Every teacher says that.
269
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:13,613
Yeah, but she would kind of
like emphasize the down part.
270
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,848
"Pencils down!"
271
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,084
No. No, I don't remember.
272
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,420
Maybe it was the
pencils part that she hit.
273
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,955
It's hard to...
274
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,992
I can't do it like her, but
it was pretty, pretty weird.
275
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,662
Anyway, she's probably dead now.
276
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,197
Hey, guys!
277
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:33,133
So I just spoke with, as it
turns out, very weird bartender,
278
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,102
and she said that the Playhouse
is like five minutes away,
279
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:35,936
so let's go.
280
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,104
Let's go now.
281
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,638
Oh, actually,
we're probably gonna
282
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,807
- finish our drinks because...
- Now, we gotta move now.
283
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,274
I'm working things
out with Molly.
284
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,609
That's great, but we
should get going for reasons
285
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:43,877
that I'm gonna explain later.
286
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,245
Pardon me, gentlemen.
287
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,815
Oh! okay, well, hmm,
that's one of them.
288
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,950
Don't let us interrupt
the good times.
289
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,551
A roving gang.
290
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,986
Yes, it turns out there are
roving gangs. I am so sorry.
291
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,956
Looks like you guys are
having fun, eh, Nitro?
292
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,891
Oh yeah, Doyt.
293
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,861
Looks like everyone's
blowing off some steam.
294
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,329
Yeah, uh, well,
the three of us
295
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,663
were actually just
on our way out, so...
296
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,033
Oh, yeah? Yeah, you
got plans with friends?
297
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:09,336
That's nice. You're gonna go
goof around, have a laugh?
298
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,804
- Something like that.
- Yeah, sort of.
299
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,840
Well, that's
nice. I like that.
300
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,142
Love to laugh.
301
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,745
Nitro, tell 'em a joke.
302
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:20,313
Just so happens I have
a joke here in my pocket.
303
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,885
- you!
- Okay.
304
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,822
I got a joke
too. Knock, knock.
305
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:32,392
- Who's there?
- Boom.
306
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,262
Middle finger again.
Boom, it's gone.
307
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,597
Okay.
308
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:41,234
Obviously, it's very clear
that we all love jokes.
309
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:46,106
Except for when those jokes
happen to be at the expense
310
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:51,444
of my good friend
Douglas.
311
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,445
Oh, hell.
312
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,617
You see, Douglas
has a condition.
313
00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:00,153
He's asthmatic, and he's
also got some throat things
314
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,755
that makes it very
noisy when he breathes.
315
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:05,625
It's no biggie, but he's just
very self-conscious about it.
316
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,897
Which is why it pained me to
learn that some out-of-towners
317
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,664
were making little comments.
318
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,002
Douglas, are these the
people that mocked you?
319
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,707
Yeah.
320
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:23,110
- It's just his voice.
- That's how he talks.
321
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,513
Listen,
Douglas, we are so, so sorry
322
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,816
for any hurt we caused you.
323
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,818
Um, maybe we could
buy you a drink?
324
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,119
A drink?
325
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,187
You think you can come
into our territory,
326
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,256
Vesties territory,
327
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,159
and buy your way out
of this with a drink?
328
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,961
You want me to waste
these guys, Doyt?
329
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,696
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, Doyt, please,
330
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,032
the three of us are
actually quite nice
331
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,066
if you just get to know us.
332
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,767
What did you just call me?
333
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,336
I called you Doyt. Is Doyt...
334
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,170
Is your name not Doyt?
335
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,305
My name is Dirt.
336
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,575
Are you making fun
337
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,545
of my friend Nitro's
speech impediment now?
338
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,149
- No. No.
- Mark is not.
339
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,717
Oh, boy, you really
like making fun
340
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,353
of other people's
problems, don't you?
341
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,654
That is not true at all.
342
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:10,123
That's two coincidences
in quick succession.
343
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,992
Maybe I can give you
a little condition
344
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:16,997
that we can all laugh
at: a little knife-itis.
345
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,732
- Wait. Wait.
- Whoa! Whoa!
346
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,134
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
347
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:25,005
Let him go now! Nobody
hurts my friends in my bar!
348
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,940
Oh, my God! She's lifting
him by his goddamn neck!
349
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,442
Okay, let's go, guys!
Thank you, scary lady!
350
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,947
Standing up for your friends,
351
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,682
that's something I can respect.
352
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,919
Alright, gang, let's
get 'em outside!
353
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,588
She doesn't have
jurisdiction over the streets.
354
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:44,091
- Let's go, whoo!
- Let's go!
355
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,229
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
356
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,033
Okay, okay. Slow
down for a second.
357
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,201
I feel like I'm gonna...
358
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,168
Did we lose 'em?
359
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,237
- Hello?
- No.
360
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,273
Okay, over here.
Over here, over here.
361
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,609
Hey! I can
see you over there!
362
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,446
Oh, I'm a police
officer by the way.
363
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,549
Sir, you are a real lifesaver.
364
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,918
I mean, I knew we
were gonna be okay,
365
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,719
but you are concrete
evidence of that.
366
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,254
Oh, no sweat.
367
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,123
You know, I'm mostly
here just to stop people
368
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:19,059
from breaking into parked
cars, so I had my eye on ya'.
369
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,461
But, well, then you guys looked
like you needed some help,
370
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,563
so I thought I'd,
you know, help you.
371
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,365
Yeah, we were tracking
all that, thanks.
372
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,466
So where are y'all headed?
373
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:27,867
Back to the tourist zone
374
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,136
and then as far away from
the town as possible.
375
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:32,772
Or, or, how far are we
from the Playhouse, sir?
376
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,808
Mark, if we don't head back
to the tourist zone right now,
377
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,444
I will murder you myself.
378
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,979
Well, Molly, you might
want to think twice
379
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,248
about threatening me in front
of an officer of the law.
380
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:43,450
Oh, I don't mind,
I'm pretty easygoing.
381
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:44,952
But, you know, if you're
looking for the Playhouse,
382
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,553
I have some great news for you.
383
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,521
You're already there.
384
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,656
What? What do you mean?
385
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,059
This is the Playhouse's
parking garage.
386
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,560
Look, there's an elevator
right over there.
387
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,794
It takes you up to the foyer.
388
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,864
Oh, my goodness!
Would you look at that!
389
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,499
I told you this
city was alright.
390
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,369
Oh...
391
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,271
Hello again.
392
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:05,572
Okay, never mind,
this city is garbage.
393
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,706
Get in the car! Get in the car!
394
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,041
okay!
395
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,010
Oh, no! You three
pissed off the Vesties?
396
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,678
Yes, we did! So get in
the car right now, please!
397
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,614
Oh, no. The Vesties
run this area.
398
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,049
I'm sorry, but
you're on your own.
399
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,584
What the hell are you
talking about? Get in the car!
400
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,652
Please don't judge the entire
Charlottetown police service
401
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,853
based on my actions.
402
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,155
I'm a coward!
403
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,324
Destroy the car! Do
what you want to them!
404
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,026
Just let me live!
405
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,195
That is a very
bad police officer.
406
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,701
Okay, um, what,
what do we do here?
407
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,169
Do we, do we run?
408
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,604
We're surrounded,
we can't run.
409
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,472
I'm done running.
410
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,940
What do you mean,
you're done running?
411
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:45,078
We hunters have a saying,
"Hunt or be hunted."
412
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,914
I'm not gonna let this
big city hunt me anymore.
413
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,450
It's time to hunt back.
414
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,252
"It's time to hunt back"?
415
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,453
Maybe we should talk to them.
416
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,954
This is probably a
talking situation.
417
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:59,659
Guys like that only understand
one language: violence.
418
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:06,299
Fortunately, I'm bilingual.
419
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,636
- Holy smokes!
- That was awesome
420
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,504
Yeah, that was
really well put.
421
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,211
Remember us? Dirt, Nitro,
422
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,613
bunch of other gang members
who have minor defects
423
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,382
I'm sure you'd
love to point out.
424
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,653
Oh, my gosh!
425
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,222
Okay. Okay, that's, that's
how she's gonna do it.
426
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:32,359
She's just gonna beat the
out of everyone.
427
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,596
We should probably
get out there.
428
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:37,897
Yeah, yeah.
429
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:40,333
It's just, I feel like
she's got training.
430
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,634
Absolutely. Yeah, she does.
431
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,236
- She's demonstrating that.
- We don't.
432
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,538
- We 100% do not.
- Definitely do not.
433
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:48,075
Okay, big guy's
coming in! The big boy!
434
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:51,244
We're clearly saying she
has got a handle on this.
435
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,679
For her, she's like,
436
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,847
"They're not even
bothering to leave the car,
437
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,749
that's how much confidence
they have in me."
438
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,717
Yeah.
439
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:58,651
"And that makes me feel good
440
00:16:58,651 --> 00:16:59,886
and that makes me fight better."
441
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,390
Whoa!
442
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,125
For some reason, they're
attacking her one at a time,
443
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,493
and she seems to be
able to handle that.
444
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:10,797
Yeah. It's honorable
of them, I guess.
445
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,300
Or they just, they
just don't have strategy.
446
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,934
It's their weakness at the top.
447
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,904
Did I say, "One at a
time"? Everybody at once!
448
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,139
Come on!
449
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,407
I'd do it, but I
have the neck thing.
450
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,641
- Let's go!
- Come on!
451
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:23,843
Oh, they got her.
452
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,945
- Oh, they got her.
- They did get her.
453
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,351
Well, that was pretty good,
but I'm afraid that you are...
454
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,420
Goddamn it! Ouch!
455
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,055
Oh, my God! Do you have her yet?
456
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,391
Get her out of here!
Hold her by her fists!
457
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:40,827
Jeez!
458
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,731
Alright, fellas, you
can come out now.
459
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:45,565
Here they come
for us. That's good.
460
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,633
Okay. Okay.
461
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:47,800
Should we try and fight them?
462
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,935
No. I don't know
why I said that.
463
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,237
Yeah, why did
you even say that?
464
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,771
Why would you even say
that? That's insane.
465
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,340
We're coming, we're coming.
You don't have to grab us.
466
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,241
We're coming, okay. We're
good, we're good, we're good.
467
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,608
Okay, or you can grab us.
468
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,578
You guys were so brave
in there. You were brave.
469
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,447
You two were brave. Just equal.
470
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,915
Everybody, so brave.
471
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:07,154
But I'm sorry,
because this ends right now.
472
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:09,055
Wait! Dirt, let her go.
473
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,858
Andy, what the
hell are you doing?
474
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,993
You're right,
Mark, I'm a coward,
475
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,329
but like Molly said,
I'm done running.
476
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,030
It's time to do what's right.
477
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,667
Molly, I love you.
478
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,501
Oh, my God!
479
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,002
Or I really like you.
480
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:25,037
Or I would like to
get to know you.
481
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,639
We're probably
gonna die tonight.
482
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,242
Before we do, I wanna
show you how I feel.
483
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:35,215
So, Dirt, let's do
this man to man.
484
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,819
Throw down your knife
and put up your fists,
485
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,655
so I can suck your ass
in front of your friends.
486
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:52,932
I'm sorry, did you just say
you were gonna suck my ass?
487
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:54,634
What? No.
488
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,935
What? When?
489
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,970
You just said you
were gonna suck my ass
490
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,406
in front of my friends.
491
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,807
No, I didn't, I
didn't. I said kick.
492
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,542
You definitely just said suck.
493
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,011
"I'm gonna suck your ass
in front of your friends."
494
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,113
Who heard that?
495
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,581
That's what I heard.
496
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,016
- Did I, did I say that?
- Yeah.
497
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:14,321
You misspoke. You
misspoke, and you're a loser.
498
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:15,222
Enough!
499
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:18,691
Laverne!
500
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,362
You will leave
these three alone.
501
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,164
You will return to the
place from whence you came
502
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,800
and bother strangers no more.
503
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:32,071
From this day forward,
compassion, not violence,
504
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,172
shall guide you.
505
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:37,977
Well, I don't
know what that was,
506
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:42,148
but you're Laverne the
Incredibilist, right?
507
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:43,450
Are you not him? You're him!
508
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:44,884
Oh, my God!
509
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,786
One time, I saw you
hypnotize these two strangers
510
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,922
into thinking they crapped
each other's pants.
511
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,891
Thank you. I like
that bit a lot.
512
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,026
I may be out of line in
asking this, Mr. Laverne,
513
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,297
but, I would
very much like your autograph.
514
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:58,931
Of course. Do you have a pen?
515
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,099
Oh, um...
516
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:05,171
Oh, yes, it appears you do.
517
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,375
What...
518
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:13,446
There you go, one for
you, and one for you!
519
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,482
Thank you, Laverne.
520
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,216
Always happy to meet the fans.
521
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,320
I feel like a little kid
again, I really do. Thank you!
522
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:25,157
Now, may I interest you
three in a performance
523
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,427
that audiences seldom forget?
524
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:29,929
Oh, oh!
525
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,698
And then when Andy was on
stage, and he kept saying,
526
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,933
- "I made a stinky."
- Oh, my God!
527
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,768
I thought I was gonna die.
528
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,338
That was amazing!
529
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,806
You know, it is not funny
530
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,774
to make people do things
against their will.
531
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,175
And you know what? If
I see Laverne again...
532
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,178
What? You'll threaten
to suck his ass?
533
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,915
Oh, my God! I forgot
that was tonight too.
534
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,351
"Put up your fists
or I'll suck your ass
535
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,319
in front of your friends!"
536
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:54,521
It's right! That's right!
537
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:57,156
Okay, new rule: no
talking 'til we get home.
538
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,160
Oh, you have had
quite a night, Andy.
539
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,464
Hey, hey, Molly, remember
when Andy said he loved you?
540
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:06,198
Yeah. What do
you love about me, Andy?
541
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,134
You barely know me.
542
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:11,170
* You can make your life
a misery if you try *
543
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:17,744
* You can take a smile
and change it to a sigh *
544
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:20,246
* But why not throw
off that shroud *
545
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,549
* And then look
beyond the cloud *
546
00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:25,718
* 'Cause there's an awful
lot of sunshine in the shy *
547
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,254
* Di-da di-da di-da
di-da di-da di-da *
548
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:33,326
* Yes, there's an awful lot
of sunshine in the shy *
40463
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