Original subtitles

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- Simon, what the fuck?

God!

- There you go. - Thanks.

- Yeah.

- OK, can we go now? - No.

I still need my phone and Kyle always does this to me

and it's disrespectful.

Hope he's OK though.

- I'm sure he found some girl to hit on or something.

- Are you sure? He's, like, not even posting.

- Dude, chill. He does this all the time.

- You can't be in here. I told you not to leave the tour.

- Well, it's Kyle. He's an artiste.

- Did he go behind the ropes?

- No. - No.

- LOGAN: OK, look, we're leaving, OK? Sorry.

- Please follow the rules.

Didn't you watch the welcome video?

- LOGAN: Sure didn't.

Someone takes her job way too seriously here.

♪

Simon.

Smile for the camera, Simon! - Cheese!

- Hi! Hello! We read your tweets

and are here to say that this whole haunting thing is a hoax!

For sure!

- Well, I... I'm pretty sure

people still go missing here.

- You're drunk! - No, I'm serial! They vanish!

- So mysterious!

Barkeep! More shots.

So...

you've worked here how long?

- I see you are filming, yes?

- Yeah. Yeah, we're... we're documenting the hotel

and the way that the architecture

inspires people to think that it's haunted.

- Yeah. - I understand.

It is a beautiful hotel...

but I prefer you stop.

- You know...

it is a public place.

- We value our privacy here.

- Sorry.

OK. Yeah, you're right.

- You're a nice young lady. Thank you.

- He's perfect, isn't he?

I should just do the whole series

based on the creepy-ass people who work here.

OK. Here.

Sorry.

OK.

I gotta pee. I'll be right back. - Yeah, yeah.

It was a good show.

Can you pee for me too?

- What do you think? Feeling haunted?

I'm not, 'cause that stuff is bullshit!

I'm just pissed this place doesn't have...

a pool.

What the fuck?

Fuck.

OK.

So...

I just came back to the room and everything was just...

perfect.

So... violating.

So fucked!

Hello?

Kyle?

Who's in here?

Hello?

Kyle?

Who are you? You work here?

OK.

You need to...

You need to leave my room.

I'm reporting you.

You guys are taking this haunting shit way too far.

Seriously, I'm not playing.

♪