Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,929 --> 00:00:03,606
[indistinct chatter]
2
00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:06,437
Good morning.
3
00:00:07,522 --> 00:00:10,329
Day shift orderlies, fall in.
4
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:27,613
Barbarino, you got in
just under the wire.
5
00:00:27,696 --> 00:00:29,497
No, I didn't, I came in
in the employees' entrance
6
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,422
just like you told me.
7
00:00:32,930 --> 00:00:34,951
Okay, here are
today's assignments.
8
00:00:34,973 --> 00:00:36,433
Emergency.
9
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,702
You, in emergency, stat.
10
00:00:43,225 --> 00:00:45,901
Let's see, operating room.
11
00:00:49,274 --> 00:00:51,053
Very nice, Barbarino.
12
00:00:51,136 --> 00:00:52,238
All you need is a tutu
13
00:00:52,238 --> 00:00:54,880
and you'd be another
Rudolph Nureyev.
14
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,295
Back.
15
00:00:57,378 --> 00:01:01,841
Now, the operating
room... let's see.
16
00:01:01,924 --> 00:01:04,425
Uh, you,
assist in the operating room.
17
00:01:05,488 --> 00:01:06,709
Okay, Barbarino,
you've been trying
18
00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:08,249
to get my attention.
Now what is it?
19
00:01:08,331 --> 00:01:10,431
What, what, what?
20
00:01:11,064 --> 00:01:13,676
Look, I want an
important job to do.
21
00:01:13,759 --> 00:01:15,962
- Oh, you do? Good.
- Yes.
22
00:01:15,962 --> 00:01:19,379
Because I'm putting you
in charge of tile hygiene.
23
00:01:20,845 --> 00:01:22,227
Alright, tile hygiene!
24
00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:23,709
What is it?
25
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,952
Same as usual.
26
00:01:27,234 --> 00:01:28,756
Nurse Bonney, all I
ever do around here
27
00:01:28,776 --> 00:01:30,734
is mop floors a-and make beds.
28
00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:32,540
Practice makes perfect.
29
00:01:32,581 --> 00:01:34,121
Well, how come you don't
put me in the emergency room
30
00:01:34,203 --> 00:01:35,503
like you do with the other guys?
31
00:01:35,586 --> 00:01:37,772
You in the emergency room?
32
00:01:37,772 --> 00:01:40,361
[laughing]
33
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:43,935
[sarcastically laughs]
34
00:01:44,018 --> 00:01:46,078
What's wrong? I can
handle an emergency.
35
00:01:46,161 --> 00:01:49,584
You get confused when
you change the mop water.
36
00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:04,182
♪ Macho macho man ♪
37
00:02:04,265 --> 00:02:07,968
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
38
00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:10,884
♪ Macho macho man ♪
39
00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:13,165
♪ I've got to be... ♪♪
40
00:02:20,494 --> 00:02:22,593
Barbarino, don't come
in here without knocking.
41
00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:24,294
Didn't anyone ever
teach you manners?
42
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:27,548
Yeah, the same guy who
taught you how to dance.
43
00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:32,201
Oh, look, Mr. Woodman,
look at this.
44
00:02:32,284 --> 00:02:33,762
Some guy with little
teeny weeny feet
45
00:02:33,806 --> 00:02:35,656
walked all over your book.
46
00:02:39,050 --> 00:02:40,674
What do you want, Barbarino?
47
00:02:40,757 --> 00:02:42,542
Nurse Bonney at the hospital,
she's been giving me
48
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,379
these dumb jobs lately
and I want to show her
49
00:02:44,462 --> 00:02:45,501
that I can do more.
50
00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:46,946
What are you gonna show her?
51
00:02:46,946 --> 00:02:48,741
How to hot wire an iron lung?
52
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:50,368
[laughs]
53
00:02:51,874 --> 00:02:53,211
That's funny.
54
00:02:53,294 --> 00:02:54,376
Hot wire an iron lung.
55
00:02:54,459 --> 00:02:56,921
I got to send that to
Johnny for his monolog.
56
00:02:56,922 --> 00:02:58,855
[laughs]
57
00:02:58,938 --> 00:03:00,380
Look, I want you to
call and recommend me
58
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,940
to do some better jobs.
59
00:03:02,023 --> 00:03:06,147
Michael Woodman
recommend Vinnie Barbarino?
60
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:09,514
What is this, "Candid Camera?"
61
00:03:10,394 --> 00:03:12,518
Look, all I want is
a chance to show her.
62
00:03:12,601 --> 00:03:15,963
Barbarino, look, nothing
comes easy in this world.
63
00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:17,246
I mean, let me ask
you something.
64
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:20,071
How do you think I got to
be principal of this school?
65
00:03:20,154 --> 00:03:22,776
That's what everybody
wants to know.
66
00:03:24,130 --> 00:03:25,669
If Nurse Bonney doesn't
think you're ready
67
00:03:25,752 --> 00:03:27,615
for more responsibility,
you're probably not.
68
00:03:27,695 --> 00:03:29,567
I mean, I can't
influence her decision.
69
00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:30,950
So that means you
ain't gonna call her?
70
00:03:30,951 --> 00:03:32,411
That's right.
71
00:03:32,570 --> 00:03:36,404
♪ Macho macho man ♪
72
00:03:36,487 --> 00:03:40,236
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
73
00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:43,347
♪ Macho macho man ♪♪
74
00:03:48,644 --> 00:03:49,844
How'd you do, huh?
How'd you do?
75
00:03:49,927 --> 00:03:52,911
Did you get Woodman
to soften up?
76
00:03:52,994 --> 00:03:57,141
I knew it. The only thing soft
about Mr. Woodman is his head.
77
00:03:58,087 --> 00:04:01,271
Well, his body ain't
exactly a piece of the rock.
78
00:04:01,753 --> 00:04:03,517
I can see it now,
50 years from now
79
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,863
I'll be the oldest
mopping orderly.
80
00:04:05,866 --> 00:04:10,111
They're gonna give me a-a
gold bucket and a gold mop.
81
00:04:13,464 --> 00:04:14,906
Well, look, if Woodman
won't put in a good word
82
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,589
for Vinnie, then somebody
else is gonna have to.
83
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:17,436
Yeah.
84
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,340
Now, look, I know
you guys are upset
85
00:04:19,423 --> 00:04:22,426
but don't do anything foolish.
86
00:04:22,509 --> 00:04:24,511
Uh, w-we wouldn't do
anything foolish.
87
00:04:24,571 --> 00:04:26,812
That would be... foolish.
88
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:29,315
- We're cool.
- Me, foolish?
89
00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:32,383
[Arnold] Innocent as can be, come on.
90
00:04:32,466 --> 00:04:35,838
[theme song]
91
00:04:45,131 --> 00:04:47,702
♪ Welcome back ♪
92
00:04:47,785 --> 00:04:51,706
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
93
00:04:51,789 --> 00:04:53,882
♪ Welcome back ♪
94
00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:58,757
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
95
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,759
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
96
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,109
♪ Since you hung around ♪
97
00:05:03,192 --> 00:05:05,198
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
98
00:05:05,281 --> 00:05:07,722
♪ And they've turned around ♪
99
00:05:07,805 --> 00:05:09,463
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
100
00:05:09,546 --> 00:05:11,465
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
101
00:05:11,548 --> 00:05:13,727
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
102
00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:16,030
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
103
00:05:16,113 --> 00:05:18,076
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
104
00:05:18,159 --> 00:05:20,296
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
105
00:05:20,379 --> 00:05:22,428
♪ Welcome back ♪
106
00:05:22,512 --> 00:05:26,780
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
107
00:05:26,863 --> 00:05:29,044
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
108
00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:31,219
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
109
00:05:31,303 --> 00:05:33,265
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
110
00:05:33,349 --> 00:05:35,527
♪ Welcome back ♪
111
00:05:35,611 --> 00:05:39,967
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
112
00:05:40,051 --> 00:05:44,363
♪ welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
113
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:49,887
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪♪
114
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,714
- Nurse Bonney?
- Yes?
115
00:06:00,797 --> 00:06:02,979
I'd like to talk to you
about Vinnie Barbarino.
116
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,484
If you have a
complaint about him
117
00:06:04,484 --> 00:06:07,116
you file it with the
administrator's office.
118
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,827
I don't have a
complaint about him.
119
00:06:10,911 --> 00:06:12,913
You don't have a
complaint about him?
120
00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:15,692
Then why do you want
to talk about Barbarino?
121
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:20,077
[sighs] Nurse Bonney, I'm working
at Buchanan High School now
122
00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:22,924
and I've known Vinnie
a very long time.
123
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,226
- How long?
- Four years.
124
00:06:25,247 --> 00:06:27,879
Oh, you poor dear.
125
00:06:28,418 --> 00:06:31,397
How did you manage
to stay so young?
126
00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:38,006
Well, I find
Vinnie exhilarating.
127
00:06:38,089 --> 00:06:42,071
Well, one woman's exhilaration
is another woman's aggravation.
128
00:06:43,618 --> 00:06:46,341
Nurse Bonney,
despite his rough exterior
129
00:06:46,341 --> 00:06:48,581
there's a very
trustworthy, honest
130
00:06:48,664 --> 00:06:50,971
and level-headed young man.
131
00:06:50,987 --> 00:06:54,188
You know, he'd work very hard
if you'd give him a chance.
132
00:06:54,271 --> 00:06:56,027
Where is he?
133
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:57,245
Where is he?
134
00:06:57,328 --> 00:07:00,364
I wants to see
orderly, orderly...
135
00:07:00,364 --> 00:07:01,922
- Vinnie Barbarino.
- Yes, yes, yes.
136
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:05,162
I want to shake
the hand of the man
137
00:07:05,246 --> 00:07:07,923
that performed this miracle.
138
00:07:12,377 --> 00:07:13,659
Guys, don't you think
you're going...
139
00:07:13,659 --> 00:07:15,442
Hey, don't say
another word, sister.
140
00:07:15,442 --> 00:07:17,002
You must hear what this giant
141
00:07:17,085 --> 00:07:18,564
of the world of
medicine has done.
142
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:21,171
Yes, yes!
This young man here
143
00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:24,519
he was minding, he was
minding his own business.
144
00:07:24,602 --> 00:07:28,573
You see, he was
walking down the street
145
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:32,042
he was eating a
tuna fish sandwich
146
00:07:32,125 --> 00:07:35,476
when all of a sudden
a runaway hotdog truck came
147
00:07:35,553 --> 00:07:38,095
and ran him over.
148
00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:39,180
If it wasn't, I said
149
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:41,160
if it wasn't for
the quick action
150
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,184
of orderly, uh, orderly...
151
00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:44,941
- Vinnie Barbarino.
- Vinnie Barbarino.
152
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:48,774
Yes, yes, that soothed this
broken and shattered limb.
153
00:07:48,775 --> 00:07:51,730
- Oh, yes, broken and shattered.
- Broken and shattered.
154
00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:54,463
Using the only
material at hand
155
00:07:54,464 --> 00:07:59,191
some napkins and some
soggy hotdog buns.
156
00:08:03,215 --> 00:08:07,410
And now, and now,
in this moment of revelation
157
00:08:07,493 --> 00:08:09,434
we shall see if
Vinnie Barbarino's
158
00:08:09,517 --> 00:08:13,913
extraordinary efforts
on medical science worked.
159
00:08:13,945 --> 00:08:16,166
Oh, please,
let it be good news.
160
00:08:16,249 --> 00:08:20,405
I only wish that his one arm
be like the other.
161
00:08:20,953 --> 00:08:22,410
[grunts]
162
00:08:26,609 --> 00:08:27,987
Moveit, son!
163
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:30,492
Move that arm. See the
glory of being healed.
164
00:08:31,015 --> 00:08:32,715
Agh, agh, agh!
It works, it works.
165
00:08:32,798 --> 00:08:35,676
It's a miracle.
It's a miracle.
166
00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:39,288
It works, it works,
oh, it works.
167
00:08:39,371 --> 00:08:41,960
I'm whole again.
168
00:08:42,816 --> 00:08:46,080
And I owe it all to
Vinnie Barbarino.
169
00:08:46,163 --> 00:08:49,362
That's B-A-R-B-A-R-I-N-O.
170
00:08:50,282 --> 00:08:52,184
I know who it is.
171
00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:54,050
And I know who you are.
172
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:57,423
Now I'm a very busy woman.
If you'll excuse me.
173
00:08:59,818 --> 00:09:03,501
Well, guys, looks like
you struck out.
174
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:06,064
Do me a favor, the next
time use your heads
175
00:09:06,068 --> 00:09:07,908
not your hearts.
176
00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:11,957
How are we gonna
explain this to Vinnie?
177
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,359
I don't know.
178
00:09:13,442 --> 00:09:15,062
Come on, let's split, y'all.
179
00:09:15,145 --> 00:09:17,514
Hey, what are you
guys doing here?
180
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:20,170
I told you not to hang out here.
181
00:09:20,253 --> 00:09:22,594
[Bonney] Barbarino, I want you
to take Mrs. Fishbein
182
00:09:22,677 --> 00:09:25,114
and her husband up to 604
immediately. Right now.
183
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,546
Listen, get lost
'cause I'm trying to make
184
00:09:26,619 --> 00:09:28,502
a good impression
on Nurse Bonney.
185
00:09:28,503 --> 00:09:30,872
[Arnold] Okay, Vinnie.
We'll see you tomorrow.
186
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,111
How many times
have I got to tell you
187
00:09:34,194 --> 00:09:36,296
not to hang out with me?
188
00:09:36,671 --> 00:09:39,015
Hi, just relax now.
189
00:09:39,098 --> 00:09:40,617
And we're gonna take
you up to your room.
190
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,504
- So just sit back and relax.
- Relax?
191
00:09:43,524 --> 00:09:45,396
We left the game with
the Jets on the five-yard line
192
00:09:45,447 --> 00:09:48,135
four minutes to go and
you want me to relax?
193
00:09:48,218 --> 00:09:49,989
[clanking]
194
00:09:50,072 --> 00:09:51,072
What the heck was that?
195
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:54,058
Well, either the elevator jammed
or the building sank.
196
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,012
We're trapped!
197
00:09:58,210 --> 00:10:01,648
Trapped like rats
in a sinking ship.
198
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:07,563
Just like, uh, Shelley Winters
in the "Poseidon Adventure."
199
00:10:07,651 --> 00:10:10,197
Oh, quick, let's crawl
towards the propeller.
200
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,543
If we crawl towards
the propeller
201
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:13,782
we'll be able to feel
the sun in our face.
202
00:10:13,782 --> 00:10:15,570
Arnold Horshack, listen to me.
Listen to me.
203
00:10:15,653 --> 00:10:16,553
We will be happy!
204
00:10:16,553 --> 00:10:18,228
What's the matter?
205
00:10:19,062 --> 00:10:20,737
I got to think.
206
00:10:22,410 --> 00:10:24,510
Are you thinking?
207
00:10:24,802 --> 00:10:27,202
I have a hard time thinking
straight in small places.
208
00:10:27,285 --> 00:10:28,623
Or big places.
209
00:10:28,706 --> 00:10:29,705
Or cold places.
210
00:10:29,788 --> 00:10:30,889
Or hot places.
211
00:10:30,909 --> 00:10:32,107
Or high places.
212
00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:33,792
Oh, orderly.
213
00:10:33,889 --> 00:10:35,591
Yes, don't...
Please, just relax now.
214
00:10:35,674 --> 00:10:36,956
Look, everybody, calm down.
215
00:10:36,976 --> 00:10:38,454
I'm gonna push the alarm button
216
00:10:38,457 --> 00:10:40,213
and we'll be outta
here in no time.
217
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:41,318
[alarm ringing]
218
00:10:41,401 --> 00:10:42,957
- Orderly?
- Yes?
219
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,862
- He's coming.
- I know he's coming.
220
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,547
He's coming to fix the elevator.
221
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,981
No, not the elevator repairman.
222
00:10:50,030 --> 00:10:51,491
The baby.
223
00:10:52,074 --> 00:10:53,574
What?
224
00:10:55,407 --> 00:10:56,769
I'm gonna have a baby.
225
00:10:56,852 --> 00:10:58,103
I know you're
gonna have a baby.
226
00:10:58,185 --> 00:10:59,645
Congratulations.
227
00:11:00,814 --> 00:11:02,684
- That's nice.
- He's coming right now.
228
00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:04,227
Oh, oh!
229
00:11:04,725 --> 00:11:06,166
- Wait a minute.
- Wait, wait!
230
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,621
[all clamoring]
231
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,438
Vinnie. Vinnie. She can't, she
can't have no baby here, man.
232
00:11:14,521 --> 00:11:18,186
We-we don't got...
We-we got no hot water.
233
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,769
I wonder what my daddy would say
at a time like this.
234
00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:22,854
Help me!
235
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:26,002
Excuse me.
Help me!
236
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:29,152
There's a teenager
in trouble here.
237
00:11:30,113 --> 00:11:32,750
No, that-that don't
sound like my daddy.
238
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,039
[in southern accent]
Help me!
239
00:11:35,122 --> 00:11:36,582
Help me!
240
00:11:37,607 --> 00:11:40,806
There is a teenager
in trouble here.
241
00:11:41,497 --> 00:11:43,639
That sounds like my daddy.
242
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,160
Oh, my.
243
00:11:45,243 --> 00:11:47,328
Oh, Sidney, what
are we gonna do?
244
00:11:47,328 --> 00:11:50,028
Myrna, why can't you
have your babies
245
00:11:50,111 --> 00:11:51,753
like ordinary normal people?
246
00:11:51,773 --> 00:11:54,197
Why do you always put me
in a predicament like this?
247
00:11:54,217 --> 00:11:56,610
Sure, always think of yourself.
248
00:11:56,693 --> 00:11:58,416
You never think of me, do you?
249
00:11:58,464 --> 00:11:59,723
Sweetheart, if I
never thought of you
250
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,006
would you be in this condition?
251
00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:04,805
Alright, alright.
Everybody, quiet!
252
00:12:04,888 --> 00:12:07,451
- Quiet, everybody!
- Oh, will you stop it?
253
00:12:07,471 --> 00:12:09,704
I'm the one in charge here.
I'm the medical person.
254
00:12:09,787 --> 00:12:11,411
[groaning]
255
00:12:11,494 --> 00:12:13,698
I can't look.
Is it born yet?
256
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:15,363
No, it's not born yet.
257
00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:16,485
Look, I'm gonna call
Nurse Bonney.
258
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,785
We'll be out of here in no time.
259
00:12:17,785 --> 00:12:18,987
[Myrna] Oh, we'd better be
260
00:12:18,987 --> 00:12:20,969
because that's exactly
what we got.
261
00:12:21,052 --> 00:12:22,512
No time.
262
00:12:23,273 --> 00:12:25,035
Nurse Bonney, listen,
w-we're in the elevator now
263
00:12:25,118 --> 00:12:27,139
a-and we're in a terrible fix
264
00:12:27,222 --> 00:12:29,322
a-and w-we're gonna have
a baby and every...
265
00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:32,708
It's Vinnie Barbarino.
266
00:12:34,178 --> 00:12:37,081
No, I-I must have got
the wrong number.
267
00:12:38,044 --> 00:12:39,724
No, I-I would like to
take rumba lessons
268
00:12:39,807 --> 00:12:41,847
but not at this moment.
269
00:12:45,162 --> 00:12:48,273
[dialing]
270
00:12:48,687 --> 00:12:51,241
[phone ringing]
271
00:12:51,324 --> 00:12:52,724
Hello?
272
00:12:52,807 --> 00:12:55,963
No, Barbarino,
I do not give rumba lessons.
273
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,332
I know you're stuck.
274
00:12:58,415 --> 00:13:00,816
The repairman's on his way
up to the roof.
275
00:13:00,899 --> 00:13:02,927
She's giving birth now?
276
00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:05,652
Oh, now you j-just calm
that poor woman down
277
00:13:05,735 --> 00:13:08,478
and tell her not to cry.
278
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,660
Alright, then tell
Arnold Horshack not to cry.
279
00:13:14,929 --> 00:13:16,131
Listen, now,
stay on the phone
280
00:13:16,131 --> 00:13:17,993
because I'm gonna
put a doctor on
281
00:13:18,076 --> 00:13:21,840
because you just may
have to deliver this baby.
282
00:13:21,962 --> 00:13:23,768
[chuckles] Okay, fine.
283
00:13:27,692 --> 00:13:29,152
Look, miss...
284
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:32,008
- Mrs.
- Mrs.
285
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:35,577
Look, uh, we... we're gonna
have to have a baby together
286
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:36,860
and I think we should
introduce ourselves.
287
00:13:36,861 --> 00:13:38,159
My name's Vinnie Barbarino.
288
00:13:38,242 --> 00:13:41,384
- Myrna Fishbein.
- Hello, Arnold Horshack.
289
00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:44,144
Many happy returns
of the day, I'm sure.
290
00:13:44,227 --> 00:13:46,006
And this is my
husband, Sidney.
291
00:13:46,089 --> 00:13:47,553
- Oh, Sidney!
- Hey.
292
00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:50,002
[all clamoring]
293
00:13:50,085 --> 00:13:51,871
[groaning]
294
00:13:51,953 --> 00:13:54,391
Is it born yet?
295
00:13:54,474 --> 00:13:55,574
Sport, let me
ask you something.
296
00:13:55,657 --> 00:13:58,416
Have you had much
experience in delivery?
297
00:13:58,499 --> 00:14:01,140
Yeah, I delivered
dry cleaning.
298
00:14:01,582 --> 00:14:03,258
Well, there's nothing
to worry about.
299
00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:04,506
I'm an old hand at this.
300
00:14:04,589 --> 00:14:06,107
Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, ohh, ohh.
301
00:14:06,107 --> 00:14:08,506
Uh, I-I'm gonna get the
doctor on the phone.
302
00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:09,893
No problem, no problem.
303
00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:11,807
We've done this
many times before.
304
00:14:11,890 --> 00:14:13,732
Seven times, to be
exact, huh, Myrna?
305
00:14:13,815 --> 00:14:15,992
Sidney, I'm trying to relax.
306
00:14:16,057 --> 00:14:20,256
Don't remind me that I've
already got seven children.
307
00:14:20,482 --> 00:14:22,624
Ah, come on, Myrna,
they're all great kids
308
00:14:22,624 --> 00:14:25,244
and this isn't the worst place
you ever gave birth.
309
00:14:25,327 --> 00:14:27,026
Take our fourth kid.
310
00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:32,373
He was born in Shea Stadium,
on the 50-yard line.
311
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,121
So we call him Broadway Joe.
312
00:14:36,152 --> 00:14:38,654
Broadway Joe Fishbein?
313
00:14:38,894 --> 00:14:39,999
Yeah, it's very original.
314
00:14:40,082 --> 00:14:41,318
Mm-hm.
315
00:14:41,401 --> 00:14:42,603
Ooh, he's a great
athlete that kid
316
00:14:42,603 --> 00:14:45,239
but not as good as
his brother Muhammad.
317
00:14:46,730 --> 00:14:49,953
- Muhammad Fishbein?
- Yeah. Born ringside.
318
00:14:50,036 --> 00:14:51,976
The Ali-Norton fight.
319
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,922
So an elevator, big deal.
320
00:14:55,005 --> 00:14:59,170
What are you gonna
name this kid, Otis?
321
00:15:00,956 --> 00:15:03,262
Wecan handle it, huh, Myrna?
322
00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:05,786
All this talk about how
tough it is to have a baby
323
00:15:05,869 --> 00:15:07,626
is just a lot of malarkey.
324
00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:09,692
Easy for you to say.
325
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,170
When the going gets rough,
you take off.
326
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,504
Sidney thinks a man's place
during childbirth
327
00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:18,018
is with his bartender.
328
00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:20,067
[mumbling]
329
00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:21,191
Guy's gonna have a hard time
330
00:15:21,191 --> 00:15:23,535
getting out of
this one, huh, Sid?
331
00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:25,115
[groans]
332
00:15:25,198 --> 00:15:26,463
[moans]
333
00:15:26,546 --> 00:15:29,039
What?
What's going on here?
334
00:15:29,122 --> 00:15:31,145
Quick thinking, huh, Sid?
335
00:15:33,226 --> 00:15:36,490
The pride of the Yankees
just went down for the count.
336
00:15:36,573 --> 00:15:39,075
Alright, the doctor says that
you got to take deep breaths
337
00:15:39,157 --> 00:15:41,421
in order to feel better.
Ready?
338
00:15:41,501 --> 00:15:44,482
[all breathing heavily]
339
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,145
Ohh!
340
00:15:46,228 --> 00:15:48,492
I got to see what he says.
341
00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,874
Doctor, listen, I got
to ask you a question.
342
00:15:51,957 --> 00:15:52,898
Look, now, if it's a boy
343
00:15:52,898 --> 00:15:55,801
do I got to take care
of religious stuff?
344
00:15:58,563 --> 00:16:01,167
No? Oh, good, good.
345
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,112
Hey, come on, doc, look.
346
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:06,134
I'm in the medical profession,
you know.
347
00:16:07,338 --> 00:16:09,361
Oh, no, okay, fine.
348
00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:12,206
Okay.
Oh, he wants to talk to you.
349
00:16:12,289 --> 00:16:13,746
Come here.
350
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:15,962
Hey, lemme give you a hand.
Sit down, lay down.
351
00:16:16,045 --> 00:16:17,627
Take it easy.
Take a load off your feet.
352
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:19,825
- There you go.
- It's okay.
353
00:16:21,637 --> 00:16:23,178
Hello, doctor?
354
00:16:24,578 --> 00:16:28,295
Uh, yeah, the contractions
are about a minute apart.
355
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:32,926
N-no, the other births were
all normal, no complications.
356
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:37,108
Oh, hello, Nurse Bonney.
357
00:16:37,571 --> 00:16:40,453
Yes, we have medical insurance.
358
00:16:42,098 --> 00:16:44,512
My Social Security number?
359
00:16:45,203 --> 00:16:48,205
Is that necessary right now?
360
00:16:48,327 --> 00:16:49,787
521-460...
361
00:16:52,008 --> 00:16:53,312
[groaning]
362
00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,940
[all clamoring]
363
00:16:56,528 --> 00:16:59,469
Come on, now hang in there.
I'm with you.
364
00:16:59,662 --> 00:17:01,490
[phone ringing]
365
00:17:01,573 --> 00:17:03,774
Maternity elevator.
366
00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:09,899
Uh, Vinnie, it's for you.
367
00:17:09,983 --> 00:17:11,818
Hang on to my calls.
368
00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:15,987
Barbarino, Barbar...
Barbarino!
369
00:17:16,071 --> 00:17:17,871
What's happening?
370
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,992
[baby crying on phone]
371
00:17:28,812 --> 00:17:30,292
[Bonney] Okay, clear the way, everybody.
372
00:17:30,376 --> 00:17:33,279
Out of the way,
come on, clear the way.
373
00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:35,793
Here we go. Barbarino,
you get out of the way.
374
00:17:35,876 --> 00:17:38,159
- I'll take care of this.
- Hey, I can help you with it.
375
00:17:38,159 --> 00:17:39,619
Go away.
376
00:17:44,453 --> 00:17:47,253
Hey, you're welcome!
377
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:52,784
Oh, thank you. Thank you,
but r-really it was nothing.
378
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,328
Nothing, really.
379
00:17:54,863 --> 00:17:56,984
What's that, Mr. Cronkite?
380
00:17:58,125 --> 00:17:59,965
Oh, you want to give me
the key to the city?
381
00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:01,349
Oh, thank you.
382
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:02,810
That's beautiful.
383
00:18:03,861 --> 00:18:05,143
But i-it was really nothing.
384
00:18:05,226 --> 00:18:07,506
It was, you know,
just the average day
385
00:18:07,589 --> 00:18:10,490
in an average orderly's life.
386
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:12,228
You know,
the elevator gets stuck
387
00:18:12,255 --> 00:18:13,934
you deliver a-a baby.
388
00:18:14,017 --> 00:18:15,649
I was ignored.
389
00:18:17,318 --> 00:18:19,119
Oh, Barbara Walters, really, no
390
00:18:19,203 --> 00:18:20,595
I'd love to go
to dinner with you
391
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:23,050
but I just can't.
392
00:18:23,071 --> 00:18:24,413
I-I... Really, I got more
important things
393
00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:25,992
to do right now.
394
00:18:26,075 --> 00:18:28,175
Like tile hygiene.
395
00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:34,862
[Arnold] Vinnie! Oh, Vinnie!
396
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:37,289
Vinnie, oh, wait
'til you see him.
397
00:18:37,289 --> 00:18:41,311
He's all pink and healthy
and ready to face the world
398
00:18:41,394 --> 00:18:44,418
like a brave little soldier.
399
00:18:45,535 --> 00:18:47,619
Oh, that's good,
the baby's okay?
400
00:18:47,702 --> 00:18:51,170
I don't know.
I'm talking about Mr. Fishbein.
401
00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:52,492
Hey, Vinnie, let me
tell you something.
402
00:18:52,492 --> 00:18:54,732
If I was you, I'd get
out of town right away.
403
00:18:54,815 --> 00:18:56,337
I just got a look at that kid.
404
00:18:56,337 --> 00:18:59,079
The kid's all red,
wrinkled and distorted.
405
00:19:00,463 --> 00:19:03,900
Yeah, it kinda looks like a
little Mr. Woodman, you know?
406
00:19:04,608 --> 00:19:06,130
You know, come to think of it
407
00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:08,629
Mr. Woodman looks like
a little Mr. Woodman.
408
00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:10,213
Yeah, come on, let's go
and see the baby again.
409
00:19:10,296 --> 00:19:11,557
[Arnold] Oh, yeah, I love babies.
410
00:19:11,577 --> 00:19:13,179
Hey, Vinnie,
check it out, bro.
411
00:19:13,263 --> 00:19:15,426
The doctor said that
the kid is perfect.
412
00:19:15,463 --> 00:19:17,903
He said he couldn't have done
a better job himself.
413
00:19:17,986 --> 00:19:19,763
- You did good.
- You were great.
414
00:19:19,846 --> 00:19:21,227
We're all proud of you, Vinnie.
415
00:19:21,311 --> 00:19:23,271
Yeah, well, thanks,
Mr. Cronkite, but it's just
416
00:19:23,354 --> 00:19:26,770
an average day
in average orderly's life.
417
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,041
Walter Cronkite?
418
00:19:29,945 --> 00:19:32,848
Hey, Vinnie, you been
sniffing Mop and Glo again?
419
00:19:34,211 --> 00:19:36,734
No, it's just that, you know,
I try real hard to do something
420
00:19:36,734 --> 00:19:41,299
to impress Nurse Bonney
and I get ignored, you know?
421
00:19:41,382 --> 00:19:42,765
Hey, look,
nobody's ignoring you.
422
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,673
Look, just give 'em a chance
and they're gonna...
423
00:19:44,673 --> 00:19:45,848
Look, here comes
Mr. Fishbein now.
424
00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:47,155
Stand back and reap your reward.
425
00:19:47,199 --> 00:19:49,003
What a wonderful day.
426
00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:50,843
A wonderful day!
427
00:19:50,927 --> 00:19:53,994
- What'd I tell ya?
- The Jets won.
428
00:19:55,650 --> 00:19:59,897
Seventeen to 14, pulled it
out at the last minute.
429
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,102
Oh, listen, I want to thank you
430
00:20:01,102 --> 00:20:03,588
for everything you've done,
everything.
431
00:20:03,608 --> 00:20:05,569
And to show our appreciation
432
00:20:05,652 --> 00:20:07,313
we want to name
the baby after you.
433
00:20:07,396 --> 00:20:09,761
So what's your name again?
434
00:20:09,761 --> 00:20:11,696
Vinnie. Vinnie Barbarino.
435
00:20:12,247 --> 00:20:13,707
Vinnie.
436
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:15,877
Vinnie Fishbein.
437
00:20:18,547 --> 00:20:19,829
- You play baseball?
- Yeah.
438
00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:22,032
- What position?
- I used to play right field.
439
00:20:22,115 --> 00:20:26,385
Great. In your honor,
we're gonna name the kid Reggie.
440
00:20:26,385 --> 00:20:27,845
Reggie Fishbein.
441
00:20:28,521 --> 00:20:30,102
Don't that have a ring to it?
442
00:20:30,186 --> 00:20:31,887
Reggie Fishbein.
443
00:20:34,271 --> 00:20:36,491
See that?
I delivered a guy's baby
444
00:20:36,574 --> 00:20:39,455
and he names him
after a candy bar.
445
00:20:41,730 --> 00:20:43,079
Nothing ever changes.
446
00:20:43,162 --> 00:20:43,962
Hey, Vinnie.
447
00:20:43,962 --> 00:20:46,365
Things do change, man.
Don't worry about it, man.
448
00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:47,467
That's not important.
That don't matter.
449
00:20:47,468 --> 00:20:48,549
You know what matters?
450
00:20:48,598 --> 00:20:49,936
What matters is the
way Nurse Bonney's
451
00:20:50,019 --> 00:20:52,326
gonna be treating you
from now on.
452
00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:55,479
Check it out, man. She'll
worship the ground you mop on.
453
00:20:55,479 --> 00:20:56,980
[chuckles]
454
00:20:57,868 --> 00:20:59,244
- Barbarino?
- Yeah?
455
00:20:59,327 --> 00:21:01,329
I want you to stop
entertaining these delinquents.
456
00:21:01,412 --> 00:21:03,051
I've got work for you to do.
457
00:21:03,134 --> 00:21:04,315
Out, out!
458
00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:06,676
I was leaving anyway, baby.
459
00:21:07,714 --> 00:21:09,854
I want you to take
the mop and the pail
460
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,419
and put them in the closet.
461
00:21:12,502 --> 00:21:14,939
Because you're working
in emergency.
462
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:16,483
You're kidding?
463
00:21:24,635 --> 00:21:27,458
Well, Barbarino, if I'd known
you were gonna do that
464
00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:30,240
I'd have given you this
assignment sooner.
465
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:40,760
Ah...
466
00:21:40,780 --> 00:21:45,916
What a rewarding experience,
you know?
467
00:21:45,984 --> 00:21:48,601
Bringing a new life
into the world.
468
00:21:48,685 --> 00:21:50,047
Who are you kidding, Arnold?
469
00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:52,192
Mrs. Fishbein brought
a life into the world.
470
00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:54,180
We were more worried about
bringing you back to life.
471
00:21:54,263 --> 00:21:55,694
[laughing]
472
00:21:55,777 --> 00:22:00,455
That's not true, Beauregahhhg.
473
00:22:00,601 --> 00:22:02,260
Come on, come on, Arnold,
you were turning
474
00:22:02,343 --> 00:22:03,605
all kinds of colors, huh?
475
00:22:03,605 --> 00:22:05,524
I mean, for a while
there you looked
476
00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:07,650
like the jolly green midwife.
477
00:22:07,696 --> 00:22:10,204
[laughs] That's right, Arnold, man.
478
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:13,052
Your eyes, your eyes
were so bugged out that
479
00:22:13,052 --> 00:22:14,863
that it took two of us
to help you blink.
480
00:22:14,946 --> 00:22:17,074
[laughing]
481
00:22:17,157 --> 00:22:20,220
Well, listen to you.
482
00:22:20,303 --> 00:22:22,827
You helped deliver one baby
and you think you know
483
00:22:22,827 --> 00:22:25,167
Mr. Stork personally.
484
00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:27,510
I could do it again,
man, just give...
485
00:22:27,593 --> 00:22:29,900
[all clamoring]
486
00:22:29,983 --> 00:22:31,283
Hey, guys, we got
the baby cleaned up.
487
00:22:31,366 --> 00:22:32,666
We can look at it
through the window.
488
00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:33,967
[Freddie] Alright, let's go
check out the baby.
489
00:22:33,967 --> 00:22:35,381
Right on.
490
00:22:45,922 --> 00:22:49,483
Hey, um, look,
why don't we, um, walk up?
491
00:22:49,566 --> 00:22:52,387
- It'd be good for the exercise.
- Yeah.
492
00:22:52,470 --> 00:22:56,327
Sure, sure,
it's only nine floors.
493
00:22:56,410 --> 00:22:57,832
Yeah, we'll take
the scenic route.
494
00:22:57,916 --> 00:23:00,819
Yeah, I-I'll make sure
you don't get lost.
495
00:23:07,207 --> 00:23:08,667
So?
496
00:23:11,108 --> 00:23:14,190
Is this your first baby?
497
00:23:14,273 --> 00:23:15,916
There's really nothing to it.
498
00:23:15,999 --> 00:23:18,306
I have found in my experience
499
00:23:18,306 --> 00:23:21,815
that if you, if you do
heavy breathing
500
00:23:21,898 --> 00:23:24,305
breathe in and out,
it's much better.
501
00:23:24,305 --> 00:23:26,870
You want to try it.
In with the good air.
502
00:23:26,953 --> 00:23:28,657
Out with the bad air.
503
00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:30,333
In with... That's it.
504
00:23:36,138 --> 00:23:39,075
[theme song]
505
00:23:43,362 --> 00:23:46,238
♪ Welcome back ♪
506
00:23:46,321 --> 00:23:49,895
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
507
00:23:49,978 --> 00:23:52,113
♪ Welcome back ♪
508
00:23:52,196 --> 00:23:56,945
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
509
00:23:57,028 --> 00:23:58,991
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
510
00:23:59,074 --> 00:24:01,209
♪ Since you hung around ♪
511
00:24:01,292 --> 00:24:03,473
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
512
00:24:03,556 --> 00:24:05,867
♪ And they've turned around ♪
513
00:24:05,950 --> 00:24:08,130
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
514
00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:09,655
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
515
00:24:09,737 --> 00:24:11,917
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
516
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,919
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
517
00:24:14,002 --> 00:24:16,051
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
518
00:24:16,134 --> 00:24:18,314
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
519
00:24:18,397 --> 00:24:20,490
♪ Welcome back ♪
520
00:24:20,573 --> 00:24:24,930
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
521
00:24:25,013 --> 00:24:29,848
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
522
00:24:29,931 --> 00:24:33,329
♪ We always could
spot a friend ♪
523
00:24:33,412 --> 00:24:35,810
♪ Welcome back ♪
524
00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:40,467
♪ And I smile when I think
how you must have been ♪
525
00:24:40,550 --> 00:24:44,906
♪ And I know what a scene
you were learning in ♪
526
00:24:44,989 --> 00:24:49,041
♪ Was there somethin' that
made you come back again ♪
527
00:24:49,124 --> 00:24:51,478
♪ And what could ever lead ya ♪
528
00:24:51,561 --> 00:24:53,305
♪ What could ever lead ya ♪
529
00:24:53,388 --> 00:24:55,395
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
530
00:24:55,478 --> 00:24:57,484
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
531
00:24:57,567 --> 00:24:59,529
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
532
00:24:59,612 --> 00:25:01,661
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
533
00:25:01,744 --> 00:25:02,703
♪ Welcome... ♪♪
38537
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof