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1
00:00:03,353 --> 00:00:05,290
Hey, Mrs. Kotter.
2
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,075
Do you think Mr. Kotter
will be home tonight?
3
00:00:07,158 --> 00:00:09,081
I mean, I know he's flying in
from Buffalo.
4
00:00:09,101 --> 00:00:10,563
Arnold, it's not that simple.
5
00:00:10,563 --> 00:00:12,483
He's gotta come by
way of Montreal.
6
00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:14,245
Wh-what's in Montreal?
7
00:00:14,328 --> 00:00:16,029
His luggage.
8
00:00:16,412 --> 00:00:18,512
Well, come on, Mrs. Kotter,
I'm serious. I need help.
9
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,457
Well, Arnold, is it something
that I can help you with?
10
00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:24,300
Well, see...
11
00:00:24,962 --> 00:00:26,922
I got this friend
on death row
12
00:00:27,005 --> 00:00:29,312
who's gonna be
executed tomorrow
13
00:00:29,368 --> 00:00:30,568
and I don't know
what to do.
14
00:00:30,568 --> 00:00:31,768
What will you do?
15
00:00:31,851 --> 00:00:34,333
I would call
Charles Bronson.
16
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,817
If he's not available,
I would call Clint Eastwood.
17
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,442
Come on, Mrs. Kotter,
I'm serious.
18
00:00:42,525 --> 00:00:44,605
Arnold, who do you know
on death row?
19
00:00:44,688 --> 00:00:46,427
It's not a who?
20
00:00:46,510 --> 00:00:49,071
It's a biology frog.
21
00:00:50,191 --> 00:00:53,175
He's gonna be chloroformed
and dissected tomorrow.
22
00:00:53,258 --> 00:00:55,043
Who's being chloroformed
and dissected?
23
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:57,490
One of the Sweat
hogs,
I hope?
24
00:00:58,705 --> 00:01:00,668
Mr. Woodman,
if you don't mind
25
00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:02,728
Arnold has a problem and I'm
trying to help him with it.
26
00:01:02,811 --> 00:01:04,093
Well, never mind
Arnold's problem.
27
00:01:04,173 --> 00:01:05,214
I have a bigger problem.
28
00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:06,653
Someone tipped over
the bloodmobile
29
00:01:06,736 --> 00:01:08,912
in the parking lot,
now, get your pad.
30
00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,059
I wanna question everybody.
31
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:14,043
Mr. Woodman, I-I would rather
stay here and help Arnold.
32
00:01:14,126 --> 00:01:16,326
Forget Horshack,
this is more important!
33
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,987
This school is losing
a lot of blood!
34
00:01:19,070 --> 00:01:20,414
Hurry up, get your pad.
35
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,955
And a pail.
36
00:01:22,398 --> 00:01:24,173
Well, come on, let's go!
Let's go!
37
00:01:24,256 --> 00:01:25,715
Arnold, I'm...
38
00:01:25,855 --> 00:01:28,559
Don't worry, Mrs. Kotter.
39
00:01:30,185 --> 00:01:32,415
I'll do what I have to do.
40
00:01:32,498 --> 00:01:34,870
[croaking]
41
00:01:42,719 --> 00:01:44,331
[croaking]
42
00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:45,997
- Freddie, you cover the door.
- Alright.
43
00:01:46,078 --> 00:01:47,558
Juan, you get those
frogs over here
44
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,905
as fast as your little legs
can carry it.
45
00:01:51,309 --> 00:01:52,615
And, Juan,
when you take 'em out
46
00:01:52,672 --> 00:01:54,333
don't take 'em out
by the feet.
47
00:01:54,416 --> 00:01:56,838
Frogs is very ticklish.
48
00:01:57,762 --> 00:01:58,864
I think this frog napping idea
49
00:01:58,864 --> 00:02:00,604
is the dumbest idea
you ever had.
50
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,297
Oh, come on,
don't you get it?
51
00:02:02,309 --> 00:02:05,294
When Ms. Garland comes into
class tomorrow and finds out
52
00:02:05,294 --> 00:02:07,718
that there are no
frogs for dissection
53
00:02:07,718 --> 00:02:10,601
she's gonna burst
her pantyhose.
54
00:02:10,628 --> 00:02:12,738
[laughing]
55
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:15,858
Come on, somebody is coming!
Somebody is coming!
56
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:17,991
[squealing]
57
00:02:18,074 --> 00:02:20,816
Ralph, you're in charge.
58
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:27,144
- Arnold.
- Y-a-a-h!
59
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:32,716
I was just looking
at the little amoebas here.
60
00:02:32,799 --> 00:02:33,599
[chuckling]
61
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,522
They're so cute.
62
00:02:37,346 --> 00:02:40,197
And they make friends so easy.
63
00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:44,790
Especially the tall ones.
64
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,915
Arnold, I'm afraid
you're gonna have to leave.
65
00:02:46,915 --> 00:02:48,814
You know students aren't
allowed in the lab
66
00:02:48,897 --> 00:02:50,290
without proper supervision.
67
00:02:50,373 --> 00:02:52,235
Oh, please, Ms. Garland, please.
68
00:02:52,261 --> 00:02:55,244
Let me stay just a little while
longer so I can, uh...
69
00:02:55,244 --> 00:02:57,876
...feed the snails,
you know.
70
00:02:58,006 --> 00:02:59,466
Well, alright.
71
00:02:59,988 --> 00:03:02,329
As long as you don't feed them
to the turtles.
72
00:03:02,412 --> 00:03:04,811
[laughing]
73
00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:06,354
Bye.
74
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,871
Okay, you guys, let's get
these frogs to my house.
75
00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:10,414
Arnold, what's your mother
gonna say when you show up
76
00:03:10,497 --> 00:03:11,496
with 14 frogs?
77
00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:14,041
Oh, wow, man.
I know what my daddy would say.
78
00:03:14,124 --> 00:03:16,224
Put 'em in the soup.
79
00:03:16,506 --> 00:03:17,728
Hey, hey,
wait a second now.
80
00:03:17,811 --> 00:03:19,374
If them frogs ain't gonna
be here tomorrow
81
00:03:19,374 --> 00:03:20,896
I better write them
a note, huh?
82
00:03:20,957 --> 00:03:23,220
Uh, let's see here,
"Dear, Ms. Garland
83
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:24,988
"Please excuse us frogs.
84
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:25,878
"Ah...
85
00:03:25,961 --> 00:03:28,965
We got a man in our throat."
86
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:31,015
[laughing]
87
00:03:31,098 --> 00:03:34,514
[theme song]
88
00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:46,248
♪ Welcome back ♪
89
00:03:46,331 --> 00:03:49,947
♪ Your dreams were your
ticket out ♪
90
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,254
♪ Welcome back ♪
91
00:03:52,337 --> 00:03:54,386
♪ To that same old place ♪
92
00:03:54,469 --> 00:03:57,128
♪ That you laughed about ♪
93
00:03:57,211 --> 00:03:59,217
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
94
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:01,567
♪ Since you hung around ♪
95
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:03,656
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
96
00:04:03,739 --> 00:04:06,093
♪ And they've turned around ♪
97
00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:08,226
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
98
00:04:08,309 --> 00:04:10,010
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
99
00:04:10,093 --> 00:04:11,968
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
100
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,275
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
101
00:04:14,358 --> 00:04:16,363
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
102
00:04:16,447 --> 00:04:18,323
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
103
00:04:18,406 --> 00:04:20,672
♪ Welcome back ♪
104
00:04:20,755 --> 00:04:22,674
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
105
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:24,937
♪ Welcome back ♪
106
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:27,200
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
107
00:04:27,284 --> 00:04:29,376
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
108
00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,292
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
109
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:33,728
♪ Welcome back ♪
110
00:04:33,811 --> 00:04:35,775
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
111
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,950
♪ Welcome back ♪
112
00:04:38,034 --> 00:04:40,169
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
113
00:04:40,253 --> 00:04:43,974
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
114
00:04:47,609 --> 00:04:49,632
[frogs croaking]
115
00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:53,000
Hey, Arnold.
116
00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,816
Now, look, we helped you
rip those frogs off
117
00:04:56,899 --> 00:04:58,723
but you said you was gonna
keep 'em at home.
118
00:04:58,723 --> 00:05:01,543
Well, maybe they ain't
house broken, Freddie.
119
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:03,311
I had to bring 'em back.
120
00:05:03,394 --> 00:05:04,838
My mother couldn't
stand the way
121
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:08,597
they was belching
and burping all night long.
122
00:05:08,681 --> 00:05:12,162
I think I put too much
horseradish in their tacos.
123
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,072
Now, look, Arnold, if somebody
finds them frogs
124
00:05:14,149 --> 00:05:15,551
in your locker,
we all get busted.
125
00:05:15,571 --> 00:05:16,991
You should've hid 'em
someplace else.
126
00:05:17,074 --> 00:05:18,557
I did hid 'em someplace else.
127
00:05:18,597 --> 00:05:20,298
I put 'em in the laundry hamper
128
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:23,387
until my mother opened it up
129
00:05:23,387 --> 00:05:26,991
and three pairs of my shorts
jumped into her arms.
130
00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:31,010
Horshack, Ms. Garland
wants those frogs back.
131
00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:32,332
All 14 of them.
132
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,378
Well, who says
Arnold Horshack took 'em?
133
00:05:34,398 --> 00:05:37,040
I do. He was the last one in the
lab before they went missing.
134
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,962
Yeah, well, just 'cause
he was the last one in there
135
00:05:38,983 --> 00:05:41,886
Mr. Woodman, didn't mean that,
uh, he did it.
136
00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:44,585
Now, looky here,
Mr. Woodman.
137
00:05:44,669 --> 00:05:46,787
If you wanna find
these frogs
138
00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:47,672
what you gotta do is
139
00:05:47,672 --> 00:05:50,076
you gotta think
like a frog, see?
140
00:05:50,076 --> 00:05:54,047
And then what you gotta do
is you gotta look like a frog.
141
00:05:54,559 --> 00:05:57,487
Oh! Oh, that's perfect.
That's perfect.
142
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,554
[croaking]
143
00:06:02,247 --> 00:06:04,708
Knock it off, Epstein.
144
00:06:04,791 --> 00:06:06,649
[frogs croaking]
145
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:09,095
Oh, yeah, tha-tha-that was,
that was good, Juan.
146
00:06:09,115 --> 00:06:10,236
He's really good,
he's talented.
147
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,199
He's um... You see, what he was
just doing was, um...
148
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:14,601
...um, the bull frogs
mating call.
149
00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:15,482
Check it out! Ha-ha!
150
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:16,743
Uh, I think the mate
is answering
151
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,772
from one of these lockers.
152
00:06:18,772 --> 00:06:20,313
Whose locker is this?
153
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:21,508
Oh, that's mine but...
154
00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:24,353
You ain't gonna find
no frogs in there.
155
00:06:25,315 --> 00:06:26,956
My life!
156
00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:28,972
[frogs croaking]
157
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:33,137
Nothing in this world is gonna
make me open up this locker.
158
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:34,558
Nothing.
159
00:06:34,641 --> 00:06:37,339
Not threats.
Not knives.
160
00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:41,164
Not bamboo shoots
under my finger nails.
161
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,669
- Nothing!
- Please, Arnold.
162
00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:48,878
Mr. Woodman.
163
00:06:49,299 --> 00:06:53,064
I never thought
you would stoop
164
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,801
to using good manners.
165
00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:58,456
[bell dinging]
166
00:06:58,539 --> 00:07:00,388
[frogs croaking]
167
00:07:05,218 --> 00:07:08,541
Get these back to biology.
Now.
168
00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:11,840
Biology is the other way.
169
00:07:13,691 --> 00:07:16,559
Arnold, sit down.
170
00:07:16,642 --> 00:07:18,186
[giggling]
171
00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:23,022
Son...
172
00:07:24,203 --> 00:07:26,639
I know why you
stole those frogs.
173
00:07:26,722 --> 00:07:29,282
It's not that you're
a bad boy, it's fear.
174
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,066
You know today is dissection
day, it's a big day for fear.
175
00:07:32,149 --> 00:07:34,532
Hey, Mr. Woodman,
I am not afraid.
176
00:07:34,532 --> 00:07:37,448
I went through the same thing
myself on dissection day.
177
00:07:37,531 --> 00:07:39,577
I couldn't look that frog
in the eye.
178
00:07:39,598 --> 00:07:41,979
My hands were like this.
179
00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:45,783
But I did the only thing
I could.
180
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,326
You ran.
181
00:07:47,748 --> 00:07:50,249
You screamed, you cried,
you fainted.
182
00:07:50,332 --> 00:07:52,312
I never cry.
183
00:07:54,914 --> 00:07:56,873
Hey, Mr. Woodman,
if you didn't wanna do that
184
00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:58,615
you shouldn't have gone
through with it.
185
00:07:58,698 --> 00:08:01,040
Arnold, when your teacher says,
"Get it over with
186
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,582
or I'll tear you apart
in the alley."
187
00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:06,485
- He said that to you?
- No, to my frog!
188
00:08:08,807 --> 00:08:12,768
Suddenly, these golden
hands steadied.
189
00:08:12,851 --> 00:08:15,375
Yeah, well,
these golden hands
190
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:18,066
are staying
right in my pocket.
191
00:08:18,436 --> 00:08:20,255
No.
They're gonna come through.
192
00:08:20,338 --> 00:08:23,278
Just as mine did.
Brilliantly.
193
00:08:23,361 --> 00:08:25,456
It's just, uh...
194
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,300
I can't kill anything.
195
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:29,112
[bell dinging]
196
00:08:29,195 --> 00:08:32,977
Sure, you can, my boy.
Now go pick up that knife.
197
00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:36,563
I'm sure you're frog
would want it that way.
198
00:08:44,255 --> 00:08:45,778
Which brings us
to the subject
199
00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:48,458
of man's inhumanity
to frogs
200
00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:50,701
in the 18th century.
201
00:08:50,784 --> 00:08:54,345
The Boston Tea Party.
202
00:08:57,730 --> 00:09:01,894
Where your forefathers
and your forefa...
203
00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:11,467
...dumped 20,000 pounds
of tea into Boston Harbor.
204
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,509
For three weeks,
those poor frogs
205
00:09:13,573 --> 00:09:16,217
were swimming around
in cold tea.
206
00:09:16,217 --> 00:09:18,981
Yeah, without no sugar
or lemon.
207
00:09:20,403 --> 00:09:23,026
I never realized that frogs
was the first ones
208
00:09:23,026 --> 00:09:24,645
to take the Nestea plunge.
209
00:09:24,645 --> 00:09:27,456
[all laughing]
210
00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:30,348
Think if you will,
what the world would be like
211
00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,868
if we did not have frogs.
212
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:35,388
You wouldn't have
any warts.
213
00:09:36,934 --> 00:09:38,735
Try getting a wart
214
00:09:38,818 --> 00:09:40,918
from a chipmunk.
215
00:09:41,883 --> 00:09:43,644
It cannot be done.
216
00:09:44,809 --> 00:09:48,934
Of course, you all know that
you don't get warts from frogs.
217
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:51,454
Hey, check it out,
Ms. Garland.
218
00:09:51,537 --> 00:09:54,298
I mean, don't forget now,
don't forget.
219
00:09:54,299 --> 00:09:56,416
Without frogs, I mean...
220
00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:59,899
...some of the best fairy tales,
they'd be gone.
221
00:09:59,982 --> 00:10:02,027
A princess has
gotta kiss a frog
222
00:10:02,044 --> 00:10:04,123
to turn him
into a prince.
223
00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:05,338
Of course, the frog
has gotta take her out
224
00:10:05,368 --> 00:10:08,127
for a couple of
drinks first.
225
00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:09,669
Maybe some dinner,
little bit of boogie.
226
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:11,330
Alright, that's enough.
227
00:10:11,413 --> 00:10:13,016
Come on, come on, come on.
228
00:10:13,098 --> 00:10:15,014
Forget your fairy tales.
229
00:10:15,097 --> 00:10:17,196
Just imagine going outside
and sayin'
230
00:10:17,279 --> 00:10:20,681
Hey, everybody.
Wanna play some leap?
231
00:10:23,526 --> 00:10:26,895
Alright, boys, that is enough.
Now get back to your seats.
232
00:10:26,977 --> 00:10:28,940
Now, it's not going
to work, Arnold.
233
00:10:29,023 --> 00:10:30,464
In the time we have left
234
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,789
I suggest
you start dissecting.
235
00:10:40,629 --> 00:10:42,159
I'm waiting, Arnold.
236
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,026
- I'm not going to do it.
- I beg your pardon?
237
00:10:45,026 --> 00:10:46,925
The only thing that I'm gonna
do with this frog
238
00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:49,011
is leave him
right where he is.
239
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:52,216
Arnold Horshack,
if you walk out of this class
240
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:55,378
you will have Mr. Woodman
to deal with.
241
00:10:57,303 --> 00:10:58,977
I don't care.
242
00:10:59,766 --> 00:11:01,205
That frog is a living thing
243
00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:04,209
and you can't make me kill it.
244
00:11:04,292 --> 00:11:07,751
Once it's dead, nobody can
bring it back to life again.
245
00:11:08,558 --> 00:11:11,887
Not you, not me.
246
00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:14,070
Not Mr. Woodman.
247
00:11:16,607 --> 00:11:18,450
I think this is
a stupid experiment.
248
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:19,463
[frogs croaking]
249
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,506
Thank you, Ralph.
250
00:11:26,741 --> 00:11:29,423
Hey, man,
I hate this book.
251
00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:31,165
Keep losin' my place.
252
00:11:31,248 --> 00:11:32,609
Ah, that's because
you ain't using
253
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:33,991
the Epstein
markin' system.
254
00:11:34,074 --> 00:11:35,716
- What's that?
- Well, uh, uh...
255
00:11:35,773 --> 00:11:39,414
Let's say you have to remember
page 46, okay.
256
00:11:39,497 --> 00:11:42,358
Turn to page 45.
Fold it in half.
257
00:11:42,441 --> 00:11:43,899
Alright.
258
00:11:43,982 --> 00:11:46,284
Turn to page 47.
259
00:11:46,385 --> 00:11:48,506
Fold it in half...
260
00:11:50,049 --> 00:11:51,468
Viola.
261
00:11:51,551 --> 00:11:54,227
Why didn't you just
fold 46?
262
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,876
That's good, too.
263
00:11:59,031 --> 00:12:01,475
Hey, check it out, I bet you,
I bet you a quarter
264
00:12:01,558 --> 00:12:02,658
Arnold carves up
that frog today.
265
00:12:02,659 --> 00:12:04,795
Come on, come on.
That's a suckers bet.
266
00:12:04,878 --> 00:12:07,660
I bet you Arnold goes to cut it
up and the frog has to give him
267
00:12:07,743 --> 00:12:12,070
mouth-to-mouth regurgitation.
268
00:12:12,071 --> 00:12:14,003
[laughing]
269
00:12:14,086 --> 00:12:16,935
- Hey, what's happening, Arnold?
- Hi!
270
00:12:17,986 --> 00:12:20,050
Is the doctor
in for surgery today?
271
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:21,308
No, way.
272
00:12:21,391 --> 00:12:22,590
Hey, Arnold,
listen to me.
273
00:12:22,673 --> 00:12:23,855
Runnin' away like
you did yesterday
274
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,256
I mean, that ain't no good.
275
00:12:25,256 --> 00:12:28,162
I mean, killing a little frog
ain't the end of the world.
276
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,044
It is for the frog.
277
00:12:30,044 --> 00:12:32,227
Come on, come on.
What's with you?
278
00:12:32,248 --> 00:12:33,847
You probably stepped on
three ants today
279
00:12:33,929 --> 00:12:35,192
and didn't even know it.
280
00:12:35,192 --> 00:12:37,092
That's right, I stepped on
three winos today
281
00:12:37,175 --> 00:12:39,236
and they didn't know it.
282
00:12:40,482 --> 00:12:41,322
Hey, Arnold.
Arnold.
283
00:12:41,323 --> 00:12:43,105
This biology story
is great stuff
284
00:12:43,106 --> 00:12:44,637
for the school newspaper.
285
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,100
Ah, step into my office.
286
00:12:46,101 --> 00:12:48,886
Listen, you got a picture
we can run on the front page?
287
00:12:48,886 --> 00:12:51,238
Hey, what are you trying
to do? Scare off your readers?
288
00:12:51,321 --> 00:12:52,600
No, no, no, listen.
289
00:12:52,683 --> 00:12:54,984
What I wanna do is,
I wanna super impose your head
290
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,590
on the body of a frog.
291
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,276
[laughing]
292
00:12:58,828 --> 00:13:02,533
That's too bad. Mother nature
already beat you to it.
293
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,184
[laughing]
294
00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:07,235
Will you guys cut it out?
This is very important.
295
00:13:07,282 --> 00:13:10,011
Hey, Epstein, I got another one
for you. Check it out.
296
00:13:10,094 --> 00:13:14,044
"Arnold gives you more cluck
for your buck."
297
00:13:15,599 --> 00:13:18,964
Will you guys please cut it out?
I am not a chicken!
298
00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:21,266
This is my interview now.
Come on, Sidney.
299
00:13:21,349 --> 00:13:25,114
You ask me some more questions.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
300
00:13:25,115 --> 00:13:28,019
N-n-now what about your parents?
How do they feel about all this?
301
00:13:28,019 --> 00:13:30,059
Well, you see, Sidney
302
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:35,105
my mother really isn't
into animals that much.
303
00:13:35,188 --> 00:13:37,426
And they don't like
her either.
304
00:13:38,152 --> 00:13:40,396
I once had a snail
305
00:13:40,396 --> 00:13:43,811
that went straight
for her throat.
306
00:13:43,911 --> 00:13:45,113
Arnold! Arnold.
307
00:13:45,196 --> 00:13:48,442
Hi, ma, hi.
What are you doing here?
308
00:13:48,442 --> 00:13:50,002
I got a call
from the principal
309
00:13:50,085 --> 00:13:52,950
who said my son
won't cut up a toad.
310
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:55,054
Ma, it's not a toad.
It's a frog.
311
00:13:55,054 --> 00:13:56,738
- Come on.
- Ma, ma, that's my ear.
312
00:13:56,741 --> 00:13:58,298
[indistinct arguing]
313
00:13:58,381 --> 00:14:02,008
There you go, Sidney.
There go your headline.
314
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,474
"Mother plucks chicken."
315
00:14:04,557 --> 00:14:06,559
[laughing]
316
00:14:06,642 --> 00:14:09,683
Ma, come on, that really hurts,
mommy. Come on.
317
00:14:09,698 --> 00:14:11,638
Thanks for coming,
Mrs. Horshack.
318
00:14:11,721 --> 00:14:13,903
Oh, it's Mrs. O'Hara now.
319
00:14:13,903 --> 00:14:18,026
But that's another story
all together.
320
00:14:18,109 --> 00:14:20,168
- Arnold, sit down.
- Yeah.
321
00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:23,853
Mrs. O'Hara, I'm sorry
about this inconvenience.
322
00:14:23,936 --> 00:14:25,396
Good.
323
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,819
This is Ms. Ilona Garland,
Arnold's biology teacher.
324
00:14:30,902 --> 00:14:32,944
- Oh, of course.
- Hello.
325
00:14:33,027 --> 00:14:35,248
The frog lady.
326
00:14:36,632 --> 00:14:38,543
Oh, Mrs. Kotter.
327
00:14:38,626 --> 00:14:40,728
Hi, Mrs. O'Hara.
328
00:14:40,969 --> 00:14:42,331
I've asked Julie
to be here
329
00:14:42,331 --> 00:14:44,371
to take a transcript
of our little meeting.
330
00:14:44,454 --> 00:14:47,437
Mr. Woodman, do you really think
a transcript is necessary?
331
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,403
It's just a conference,
it's not a trail.
332
00:14:50,481 --> 00:14:52,875
Oh, I think Mr. Woodman's
idea of a transcript
333
00:14:52,905 --> 00:14:54,384
is an excellent one.
334
00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:56,567
Thank you, Ilona.
335
00:14:57,368 --> 00:15:00,111
Oh, don't thank me, Michael,
it was your idea.
336
00:15:00,194 --> 00:15:01,915
Well, that's true.
337
00:15:04,428 --> 00:15:08,753
Mrs. O'Hara, as I explained
to you on the phone
338
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:11,217
Arnold refused
to dissect a frog.
339
00:15:11,237 --> 00:15:14,061
Refuses and will
continue to refuse.
340
00:15:14,061 --> 00:15:16,726
Frankly, Mrs. O'Hara,
I was amazed.
341
00:15:16,746 --> 00:15:18,606
Up until yesterday
Arnold has been
342
00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:20,849
an excellent
biology student.
343
00:15:20,932 --> 00:15:24,094
Why, he even sometimes
stays after class
344
00:15:24,177 --> 00:15:26,527
to feed the turtles
and the fish.
345
00:15:26,581 --> 00:15:28,902
You know, I once walked in
and saw Arnold turning
346
00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:31,928
the treadmills so that the
hamsters wouldn't get winded.
347
00:15:31,928 --> 00:15:33,388
Oh...
348
00:15:33,914 --> 00:15:38,540
Oh, listen, he's the same little
Dr. Dolittle at home.
349
00:15:38,623 --> 00:15:41,322
Look, ma, they don't care about
the animals.
350
00:15:41,405 --> 00:15:43,589
Oh, Arnold, that's not true.
351
00:15:43,589 --> 00:15:47,234
The purpose of dissection
is to find out more about them.
352
00:15:47,254 --> 00:15:50,179
It's a very useful tool
of science.
353
00:15:50,179 --> 00:15:51,639
Definitely.
354
00:15:52,359 --> 00:15:56,045
Why, dissection has been going
on for years and years.
355
00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:58,248
It's paved the way
for cures
356
00:15:58,331 --> 00:16:00,492
that have saved
people's lives.
357
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:01,952
Definitely.
358
00:16:05,146 --> 00:16:07,448
Hey, listen, I think
all of that is terrific
359
00:16:07,448 --> 00:16:11,495
but who's curing
the little animals?
360
00:16:11,532 --> 00:16:14,969
Has anybody found a way
to bring them back to life?
361
00:16:16,136 --> 00:16:18,505
Would you care to try
another "Definitely?"
362
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:25,102
Arnold, let me put it to you
this way. Do you eat meat?
363
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,167
Oh, listen, you think
I'd make pot roast
364
00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:29,046
three times a week
if he didn't.
365
00:16:29,129 --> 00:16:31,248
And my brisket's
no slouch either.
366
00:16:31,331 --> 00:16:32,709
Usually, I put
a little garlic--
367
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,249
Arnold...
368
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:38,852
Those animals have to be killed
before you can eat them.
369
00:16:38,935 --> 00:16:43,079
- Definitely.
- Ditto.
370
00:16:43,162 --> 00:16:45,773
Listen, I know all of that
but somebody else
371
00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:49,354
is gonna have to do the killing,
not Arnold Horshack!
372
00:16:49,411 --> 00:16:52,834
You know something, Arnold?
I'm with you.
373
00:16:52,917 --> 00:16:56,099
When I was in high school,
I had to kill a frog.
374
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,836
I didn't wanna do it but
I did it 'cause I was
375
00:16:57,844 --> 00:16:59,784
too much of a coward
to take a stand.
376
00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:01,967
Are you finished?
377
00:17:02,242 --> 00:17:04,897
Mr. Woodman, I just happen
to agree with Arnold
378
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:08,144
that it is within
his rights not to kill.
379
00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:09,632
Definitely.
380
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,240
Well, then, Mrs. Kotter
381
00:17:14,323 --> 00:17:16,363
maybe you'll happen to agree
382
00:17:16,446 --> 00:17:18,143
that I am within my rights
383
00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:20,820
to fail him if he doesn't.
384
00:17:20,903 --> 00:17:22,826
I'm not gonna do it,
Ms. Garland.
385
00:17:22,857 --> 00:17:25,843
Arnold, you will do it
this afternoon
386
00:17:25,843 --> 00:17:28,284
or you will repeat
this course.
387
00:17:31,901 --> 00:17:34,223
[bell dinging]
388
00:17:34,306 --> 00:17:36,805
Has anyone seen
Arnold Horshack?
389
00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:37,907
Not me.
390
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,497
Personally, I never could see
Arnold Horshack.
391
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:42,427
[all laughing]
392
00:17:42,511 --> 00:17:45,715
Alright, everyone,
can we please have some quiet?
393
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,541
I said, can we have quiet!
394
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:50,041
That's better.
395
00:17:50,566 --> 00:17:52,589
[imitates frog croaking]
396
00:17:54,387 --> 00:17:57,290
Hey, don't look at me.
I only do chickens.
397
00:18:00,373 --> 00:18:02,473
I do camels.
398
00:18:20,171 --> 00:18:21,631
Water.
399
00:18:27,133 --> 00:18:28,593
Water.
400
00:18:30,411 --> 00:18:32,652
Get these Arabs
off my back.
401
00:18:34,798 --> 00:18:36,956
Hey, that was good, man.
402
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,640
I-I think you got
a genius in you.
403
00:18:38,723 --> 00:18:41,686
Alright, everybody, now,
that is quite enough.
404
00:18:41,686 --> 00:18:43,147
Enough.
405
00:18:45,853 --> 00:18:47,267
Well...
406
00:18:47,874 --> 00:18:49,957
I'm so glad that we're all
here today.
407
00:18:49,977 --> 00:18:51,555
Especially you, Arnold.
408
00:18:51,638 --> 00:18:54,311
Will you kindly step
to the dissecting table?
409
00:18:54,395 --> 00:18:56,223
Ms. Garland,
could I say something?
410
00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:57,601
No.
411
00:18:57,685 --> 00:19:00,728
Oh, Arnold, you held us up
yesterday with your filibuster.
412
00:19:00,811 --> 00:19:04,214
I do not want to hear anything
more about the glory of frogs.
413
00:19:04,297 --> 00:19:07,431
But I never said
frogs is glorious.
414
00:19:07,502 --> 00:19:09,805
I don't even like frogs.
415
00:19:09,805 --> 00:19:12,982
They're dirty and smelly
and ugly. Bleh!
416
00:19:13,049 --> 00:19:16,152
Good, then you won't mind
doing your assignment.
417
00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:18,314
Well, I just want
everybody to know
418
00:19:18,397 --> 00:19:20,677
that I'm not afraid
to carve up a frog.
419
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,663
That's my man, Arnold Horshack.
420
00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:24,446
I'd knew he was gonna
come through.
421
00:19:24,446 --> 00:19:26,546
Sit down, Washington.
422
00:19:28,112 --> 00:19:31,273
Believe me, Arnold doesn't
need your help. Or yours.
423
00:19:31,357 --> 00:19:33,579
That's right, I don't need
anybody's help.
424
00:19:33,579 --> 00:19:35,039
Uh...
425
00:19:37,392 --> 00:19:40,569
I'd like an "F," please.
426
00:19:40,652 --> 00:19:44,975
I know I'll have to repeat
this course.
427
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,038
But so will you.
428
00:19:50,763 --> 00:19:51,895
And I can come back
429
00:19:51,946 --> 00:19:54,866
just as long as
you can come back.
430
00:19:54,949 --> 00:19:57,494
Even longer,
I'm younger.
431
00:19:59,554 --> 00:20:03,396
And every time you say
to me "Arnold, kill"
432
00:20:03,479 --> 00:20:05,197
I'm gonna say no.
433
00:20:09,185 --> 00:20:10,726
Excuse me.
434
00:20:16,578 --> 00:20:18,038
Alright.
435
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:20,919
Washington, you're next.
436
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:26,271
Tarad! Ha-ha!
437
00:20:26,988 --> 00:20:28,923
Who gets the legs?
438
00:20:43,303 --> 00:20:46,725
Hey, yo, um, Ms. Garland?
439
00:20:48,194 --> 00:20:49,953
I think you better,
ah, you better lay
440
00:20:50,036 --> 00:20:52,136
one of those "F's"
on me, too.
441
00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:55,421
Make it three.
442
00:21:01,170 --> 00:21:02,630
Anybody else?
443
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,472
Come on.
444
00:21:06,793 --> 00:21:10,991
Well, if we're
going to learn dissecting
445
00:21:11,074 --> 00:21:12,657
someone has to do it.
446
00:21:12,677 --> 00:21:15,795
Excuse me, Ms. Garland,
couldn't we, ah...
447
00:21:15,879 --> 00:21:17,400
...uh, cut this up instead?
448
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:18,919
Oh, no, not-not that.
449
00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:21,150
That's personal
property, Arnold.
450
00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:22,913
Oh, uh-uh, Arnold.
Mr. Woodman gave me that.
451
00:21:22,913 --> 00:21:25,517
Please. No, Arnold.
Wait a minute, Arnold.
452
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:26,910
- No, no.
- It's only a little plant.
453
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,572
- Oh, oh, Arnold.
- Eee-ya!
454
00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:32,195
What do you mean
only a little plant?
455
00:21:32,196 --> 00:21:34,464
This is a climbing Tasmanian
456
00:21:34,547 --> 00:21:36,783
split-leaf arborvitae.
457
00:21:36,867 --> 00:21:39,770
Why, in the South Seas,
the natives worship it.
458
00:21:39,853 --> 00:21:42,529
It's their only source
of mulch.
459
00:21:44,157 --> 00:21:46,917
Oh, gee, Ms. Garland.
460
00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:49,983
I had no idea
you were so into mulch.
461
00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:53,685
Don't make fun
of my plant, Arnold.
462
00:21:53,768 --> 00:21:56,268
Remember, today's mulch
463
00:21:56,351 --> 00:21:58,912
is tomorrow's peat moss.
464
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,441
Look, uh, uh, we should
be able to find
465
00:22:02,441 --> 00:22:04,364
some sort of compromise here.
466
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,424
Why don't we just cut up
something nobody cares about?
467
00:22:06,507 --> 00:22:08,248
Yeah, that's right, Ms. Garland,
why don't we cut up something
468
00:22:08,289 --> 00:22:09,791
that-that ain't worth nothing?
469
00:22:09,791 --> 00:22:12,795
Something that's
totally useless.
470
00:22:28,337 --> 00:22:29,732
Hey! Alright.
471
00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:31,125
Hey, Arnold!
472
00:22:31,208 --> 00:22:33,144
[clapping]
473
00:22:34,242 --> 00:22:35,801
As duly elected spokesman
474
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:39,407
please accept our apologies
for calling you chicken.
475
00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:40,291
Alright.
476
00:22:40,374 --> 00:22:42,255
Or turkey, huh?
477
00:22:42,256 --> 00:22:43,770
[laughing]
478
00:22:43,853 --> 00:22:45,673
As self-elected spokesman
479
00:22:45,756 --> 00:22:47,856
for Arnold Horshack
480
00:22:48,096 --> 00:22:50,599
I wanna thank you guys
for backing me up.
481
00:22:50,682 --> 00:22:51,901
- You got it.
- Come on, come on.
482
00:22:51,903 --> 00:22:53,565
- What are friends for?
- Hey, so...
483
00:22:53,585 --> 00:22:56,174
Keep the applause going.
I still got two more bows left.
484
00:22:56,174 --> 00:22:58,127
You got it.
485
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:01,851
Aren't, uh, you supposed
to be in biology?
486
00:23:01,935 --> 00:23:05,639
Uh, no, we got out early.
We had to dissect a flower.
487
00:23:05,792 --> 00:23:09,143
And it wasn't that easy.
488
00:23:09,226 --> 00:23:11,595
Yeah, the bee was still in it.
489
00:23:12,589 --> 00:23:15,131
Hey, yo, uh, Mr. Woodman, um,
tell me something, man.
490
00:23:15,215 --> 00:23:18,295
When you was in, uh, biology
class, what did you dissect?
491
00:23:18,379 --> 00:23:21,141
- A dinosaur?
- Oh, no!
492
00:23:22,465 --> 00:23:24,986
No, but my Uncle Grunt did.
493
00:23:26,306 --> 00:23:28,086
Oh, Mr. Woodman
494
00:23:28,169 --> 00:23:30,269
not you too.
495
00:23:30,669 --> 00:23:33,474
I've got a family, too.
My Uncle Grunt was a caveman.
496
00:23:33,557 --> 00:23:36,777
He lived in cave seven
upstairs in the back.
497
00:23:36,821 --> 00:23:40,564
And it took him a month
to dissect his dinosaur.
498
00:23:40,648 --> 00:23:42,070
But that wasn't
the hardest part.
499
00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:43,262
Yeah, what was?
500
00:23:43,272 --> 00:23:45,503
Putting it back in the jar
every night.
501
00:23:45,504 --> 00:23:47,858
[laughing]
502
00:23:55,419 --> 00:23:57,311
[theme song]
503
00:24:02,731 --> 00:24:05,346
♪ Welcome back ♪
504
00:24:05,429 --> 00:24:09,089
♪ Your dreams were your
ticket out ♪
505
00:24:09,172 --> 00:24:11,351
♪ Welcome back ♪
506
00:24:11,435 --> 00:24:13,439
♪ To that same old place ♪
507
00:24:13,523 --> 00:24:16,270
♪ That you laughed about ♪
508
00:24:16,353 --> 00:24:18,446
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
509
00:24:18,529 --> 00:24:20,492
♪ Since you hung around ♪
510
00:24:20,575 --> 00:24:22,754
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
511
00:24:22,838 --> 00:24:25,192
♪ And they've turned around ♪
512
00:24:25,275 --> 00:24:27,455
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
513
00:24:27,538 --> 00:24:29,109
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
514
00:24:29,192 --> 00:24:31,241
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
515
00:24:31,324 --> 00:24:33,286
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
516
00:24:33,369 --> 00:24:35,506
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
517
00:24:35,590 --> 00:24:37,509
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
518
00:24:37,592 --> 00:24:39,727
♪ Welcome back ♪
519
00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:41,947
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
520
00:24:42,031 --> 00:24:44,211
♪ Welcome back ♪
521
00:24:44,294 --> 00:24:46,126
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
522
00:24:46,209 --> 00:24:48,955
♪ Welcome back ♪
523
00:24:49,038 --> 00:24:52,697
♪ We always could
spot a friend ♪
524
00:24:52,781 --> 00:24:55,135
♪ Welcome back ♪
525
00:24:55,218 --> 00:24:57,137
♪ And I smile when I think ♪
526
00:24:57,220 --> 00:24:59,834
♪ How you must have been ♪
527
00:24:59,917 --> 00:25:01,967
♪ And I know what a scene ♪
528
00:25:02,051 --> 00:25:04,231
♪ You were learning in ♪
529
00:25:04,314 --> 00:25:08,365
♪ Was there something that
made you come back again ♪
530
00:25:08,448 --> 00:25:10,889
♪ And what could ever
lead ya ♪
531
00:25:10,973 --> 00:25:12,500
♪ What could ever lead ya ♪
532
00:25:12,583 --> 00:25:14,632
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
533
00:25:14,715 --> 00:25:16,722
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
534
00:25:16,805 --> 00:25:18,898
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
535
00:25:18,981 --> 00:25:21,073
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
536
00:25:21,157 --> 00:25:23,250
♪ Welcome back ♪
537
00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:25,207
♪ Welcome back
Welcome back ♪
538
00:25:25,291 --> 00:25:27,601
♪ Welcome back ♪
539
00:25:27,685 --> 00:25:29,648
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
540
00:25:29,731 --> 00:25:31,823
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
541
00:25:31,907 --> 00:25:33,604
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪♪
38784
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