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1
00:00:06,732 --> 00:00:10,349
♪ There's no business
like show business ♪
2
00:00:10,432 --> 00:00:14,239
♪ Like no business I know ♪♪
3
00:00:15,088 --> 00:00:17,356
Hold it, Epstein. Hold it.
4
00:00:17,439 --> 00:00:18,749
Where are you goin'
with that projector?
5
00:00:18,831 --> 00:00:20,315
- Nowhere.
- What do you mean nowhere?
6
00:00:20,397 --> 00:00:21,490
You're obviously
going somewhere.
7
00:00:21,573 --> 00:00:22,579
Where are you going?
8
00:00:22,661 --> 00:00:24,554
Nowhere, I'm there.
9
00:00:25,795 --> 00:00:28,803
If you had asked me out
there, I would have said here.
10
00:00:28,885 --> 00:00:32,935
But I'm not there, I'm here.
So, I ain't goin' nowhere.
11
00:00:33,018 --> 00:00:36,853
♪ There's no business
like show business ♪
12
00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:38,678
♪ Like no business I know ♪♪
13
00:00:38,761 --> 00:00:40,999
I'm willing to start again.
Good morning, Epstein.
14
00:00:41,003 --> 00:00:42,873
What are you doing
with that projector?
15
00:00:42,956 --> 00:00:44,544
Mornin', Mr. Woodman.
16
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,267
I'm in charge of visual
aids here, and I'm just, uh
17
00:00:47,350 --> 00:00:50,330
settin' up this projector
to show a motion picture.
18
00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:52,633
Why, Epstein, why didn't
you tell me that before?
19
00:00:52,716 --> 00:00:54,977
You didn't ask me before.
20
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,778
I hate days that begin like
this. They only get worse.
21
00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:02,255
♪ There's no business
like show business ♪♪
22
00:01:02,338 --> 00:01:04,381
Epstein, I've been, uh,
lookin' all over for you.
23
00:01:04,381 --> 00:01:06,462
It just got worse.
24
00:01:07,122 --> 00:01:08,063
Carvelli.
25
00:01:08,146 --> 00:01:11,107
Hey, Murray, I think we're about
to be harassed by the principal.
26
00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:13,833
Hey, Mr. Woodman.
I didn't do nothin'.
27
00:01:13,853 --> 00:01:15,092
I'm clean.
28
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:17,066
He says, he's clean.
29
00:01:18,218 --> 00:01:20,920
Yeah, go ahead, search me.
30
00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:23,644
He said, go ahead
and search him.
31
00:01:25,026 --> 00:01:28,730
I wouldn't touch your body.
How do I know where it's been?
32
00:01:29,605 --> 00:01:33,873
Well, in that case, uh...
I gotta go, see ya later.
33
00:01:33,956 --> 00:01:35,284
- Yeah, see ya later.
- Come on, Murray.
34
00:01:35,284 --> 00:01:37,004
I thought you
wanted to see Epstein.
35
00:01:37,087 --> 00:01:39,501
Epstein, is he here?
36
00:01:40,731 --> 00:01:41,913
I'm going back to my office
37
00:01:41,996 --> 00:01:44,077
I'm gonna think
about what you said.
38
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,163
And if any of it makes any sense
39
00:01:46,183 --> 00:01:48,725
I'm gonna have myself committed.
40
00:01:50,913 --> 00:01:55,178
Well, well, well. Juan Epstein,
the original Mr. Movies.
41
00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:57,785
Come on, come on, I'm busy. What
can I do ya out of, Carvelli?
42
00:01:57,845 --> 00:02:00,526
You doin' your
little job, right Juan?
43
00:02:00,609 --> 00:02:03,110
He said, you're doin'
your job, right Juan?
44
00:02:03,193 --> 00:02:06,363
Hey, uh, what kind of
job are you doin' anyway?
45
00:02:06,755 --> 00:02:08,778
I'm in charge of
visual aids, why?
46
00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:11,560
'Cause, uh, that's
exactly what we need...
47
00:02:11,643 --> 00:02:13,906
...is a little, uh, visual aid.
48
00:02:13,989 --> 00:02:15,552
You don't need no
visual aid, Carvelli.
49
00:02:15,572 --> 00:02:18,434
- You need mental aid.
- Oh, yeah.
50
00:02:19,177 --> 00:02:20,133
Murray.
51
00:02:20,216 --> 00:02:23,001
Juan, I'm talkin' genuine
52
00:02:23,084 --> 00:02:26,806
adults only, triple-x rated
53
00:02:26,807 --> 00:02:31,365
Technicolor, hardcore,
motion picture.
54
00:02:31,448 --> 00:02:32,862
What?
55
00:02:33,714 --> 00:02:36,538
He said, we got a hot flick.
56
00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:39,510
You guys are crazy,
you didn't bring
57
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,433
an x-rated movie here to school.
58
00:02:41,516 --> 00:02:43,139
Come on, come on,
you're lying to me.
59
00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:44,900
Hey, if I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.
60
00:02:44,983 --> 00:02:46,466
And the proof is-is right here.
61
00:02:46,544 --> 00:02:48,485
So look, why don't you
just set up the projector.
62
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,112
We can have a little
look at it, what do you say?
63
00:02:51,151 --> 00:02:53,349
- Hey there.
- What's good y'all?
64
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,880
Goodie, we're gonna see movies.
65
00:02:59,724 --> 00:03:00,943
What did I do?
66
00:03:01,026 --> 00:03:04,311
You never, ever touch
another man's property.
67
00:03:04,331 --> 00:03:06,202
It's like, it's like
an unwritten law.
68
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:10,300
See, if a man has a skin flick
and he wants you to see it
69
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,450
he'll say, "Here,
look at my skin flick."
70
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,135
And then you look at it.
71
00:03:15,218 --> 00:03:18,803
Y'all sayin' that y'all
got a x-rated movie?
72
00:03:18,804 --> 00:03:20,506
Yeah... but look, we can't
look at it until Juan
73
00:03:20,506 --> 00:03:22,551
sets it up on the projector.
74
00:03:22,598 --> 00:03:25,056
An x-rated movie?
75
00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:27,622
C'mon, c'mon, you guys.
76
00:03:27,705 --> 00:03:30,448
I can't show an x-rated
movie here in the class.
77
00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:31,908
Oh.
78
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:37,077
An x-rated movie!
79
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:40,602
Where the really show the x's?
80
00:03:40,685 --> 00:03:42,107
- Hey Juan, Juan, Juan.
- Yeah?
81
00:03:42,107 --> 00:03:45,089
I know you can't show
that film in class, but, um...
82
00:03:45,172 --> 00:03:48,893
What about the projector
in the school auditorium?
83
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,927
Hey, we could use that projector
there to show that film, huh?
84
00:03:54,009 --> 00:03:56,912
That's right.
In the school store, baby!
85
00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:58,373
Yeah!
86
00:03:58,944 --> 00:04:00,032
Oh, no.
87
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,975
No, no.
88
00:04:02,289 --> 00:04:04,509
The school store
is open all day
89
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,736
except during lunch, no. Mm-mm.
90
00:04:07,737 --> 00:04:08,976
- Horshack.
- Hm?
91
00:04:09,059 --> 00:04:10,818
- Horshack, you're a genius.
- Why?
92
00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:12,612
School store at lunch hour.
93
00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:14,828
Ooh yeah, oh yeah.
94
00:04:14,911 --> 00:04:15,959
Oh, no.
95
00:04:16,042 --> 00:04:17,502
No, no.
96
00:04:19,049 --> 00:04:22,373
The lunch hour is for eating
your food in the cafeteria.
97
00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:26,783
It is not a time to
enjoy yourselves, no.
98
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:28,289
- Yo, um, yo, Carvelli.
- What?
99
00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:29,889
Carvelli, let me
ask you somethin'.
100
00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:32,371
- What if we get caught?
- We're not gonna get caught.
101
00:04:32,414 --> 00:04:34,798
Look, it's my film, I'll
take the heat, alright?
102
00:04:34,818 --> 00:04:36,460
It's my tail. Don't worry
about it, you guys
103
00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:39,267
You guys are nothin'
but-but innocent bystanders.
104
00:04:39,402 --> 00:04:40,724
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
105
00:04:40,807 --> 00:04:42,743
Porn flicks for lunch!
106
00:04:42,827 --> 00:04:45,392
Porn flicks for lunch!
107
00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:49,701
- Porn flicks for lunch.
- What was that?
108
00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:52,093
Uh, uh, I said
cornflakes for lunch.
109
00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:54,687
You know, um, cornflakes, man.
110
00:04:54,770 --> 00:04:56,467
You know, cornflake's
delicious, mmm, good!
111
00:04:56,535 --> 00:04:58,459
Oh, I just love
cornflakes for lunch.
112
00:04:58,459 --> 00:05:01,084
It's my favorite, mm-mm good!
113
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:02,890
I tell ya. Mm.
114
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,552
Just keeps getting worse.
115
00:05:07,143 --> 00:05:10,515
[theme song]
116
00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:21,900
♪ Welcome back ♪
117
00:05:21,983 --> 00:05:25,731
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
118
00:05:25,814 --> 00:05:27,907
♪ Welcome back ♪
119
00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:32,694
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
120
00:05:32,777 --> 00:05:37,003
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
121
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:41,398
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
122
00:05:41,481 --> 00:05:43,825
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
123
00:05:43,825 --> 00:05:45,440
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
124
00:05:45,523 --> 00:05:47,616
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
125
00:05:47,699 --> 00:05:49,705
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
126
00:05:49,788 --> 00:05:53,883
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
127
00:05:53,966 --> 00:05:55,972
♪ Welcome back ♪
128
00:05:56,055 --> 00:06:00,455
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
129
00:06:00,538 --> 00:06:02,587
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
130
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:04,763
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
131
00:06:04,846 --> 00:06:06,895
♪ 'Cause we got
him on the spot ♪
132
00:06:06,979 --> 00:06:09,202
♪ Welcome back ♪
133
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:13,510
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
134
00:06:13,594 --> 00:06:19,208
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
135
00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:24,592
Mr. Woodman, you
wanted to see me?
136
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:25,955
Oh, uh, Julie.
137
00:06:26,038 --> 00:06:27,517
We got a big problem.
138
00:06:27,579 --> 00:06:29,479
Some fool parents are
coming in here right now
139
00:06:29,562 --> 00:06:30,943
with some fool complaint.
140
00:06:30,943 --> 00:06:32,542
And how did that
get to be my problem?
141
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:34,708
Wasn't it your idea to
show a sex education
142
00:06:34,708 --> 00:06:36,767
film to the senior class?
143
00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,949
And weren't you the one
who selected the film?
144
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,134
Yes, I was.
145
00:06:40,154 --> 00:06:41,635
Well, I told these people that.
146
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,455
Did you also tell
these people that
147
00:06:43,538 --> 00:06:45,279
all this was done
with your approval?
148
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,476
That's none of their business.
149
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,909
Now, these people are very
upset by this program, Julie.
150
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:54,936
You can use your, uh, womanly
charms to settle 'em down.
151
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:57,040
But, Mr. Woodman, this
whole program was set up
152
00:06:57,123 --> 00:06:59,265
with the approval of
the board of education.
153
00:06:59,348 --> 00:07:01,952
If these people are against
sex that's their problem.
154
00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:04,208
Let them complain
to mother nature.
155
00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:08,039
It's sex education in the
schools they're against
156
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,700
and that's your problem.
157
00:07:09,783 --> 00:07:11,759
And they may have a point.
158
00:07:11,843 --> 00:07:13,425
This film seems a
little unnecessary.
159
00:07:13,508 --> 00:07:15,311
I mean, I never had
any sex education.
160
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,872
Look how I turned out.
161
00:07:22,263 --> 00:07:24,404
Yeah, I see what you mean.
162
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,627
I'd better talk to these
people as soon as possible.
163
00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:28,251
Good. There's no reason why
164
00:07:28,251 --> 00:07:30,111
that stuff can't be
taught in the home.
165
00:07:30,194 --> 00:07:31,335
Is that where you learned it?
166
00:07:31,335 --> 00:07:32,994
Well, of course.
167
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:36,276
When I was 16, my, uh,
father took me aside.
168
00:07:36,601 --> 00:07:38,300
And he said, "son."
169
00:07:38,383 --> 00:07:40,384
He called me that.
170
00:07:41,907 --> 00:07:44,868
"I bet you're gonna hear a
lot of talk about the things
171
00:07:44,951 --> 00:07:47,954
men and women do
together when they're alone."
172
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:51,518
He said, "Don't you
believe any of it."
173
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,077
I've always tried
to live by that.
174
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,617
[knock on door]
175
00:07:57,552 --> 00:08:00,050
Oh, hello folks,
you're here already.
176
00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:02,819
This is Mrs. Kotter, she'll
answer any questions you have.
177
00:08:02,902 --> 00:08:05,885
This program is
entirely in her hands.
178
00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:08,510
You see, mine are clean.
179
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:10,111
Goodbye.
180
00:08:11,938 --> 00:08:13,638
- How nice that you could--
- Now, let's not waste time.
181
00:08:13,721 --> 00:08:15,421
Miss Kotter.
Now, I'm Mrs. Zugler.
182
00:08:15,504 --> 00:08:17,545
This is Mr. Finch,
and Mrs. Jones.
183
00:08:17,628 --> 00:08:20,372
Now, we're concerned about
the sex education in the schools
184
00:08:20,372 --> 00:08:23,438
and we'd like to get it out of
our school system right now.
185
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:26,523
Oh, well, I can understand your
concern, but our program--
186
00:08:26,543 --> 00:08:28,043
Stinks.
187
00:08:30,018 --> 00:08:33,115
That wasn't exactly
the word I was going for.
188
00:08:33,198 --> 00:08:35,360
Uh, why don't you
all sit down her.
189
00:08:35,443 --> 00:08:38,726
Now listen, we are really here
because we are very concerned
190
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:42,106
about this program
that you're initiating.
191
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,211
Well, Mr. Finch, I can
understand your concern.
192
00:08:45,231 --> 00:08:47,449
But if you were more
familiar with our program
193
00:08:47,473 --> 00:08:49,652
I think you might
feel differently.
194
00:08:49,735 --> 00:08:51,737
For instance, the film
that we're showing today
195
00:08:51,737 --> 00:08:53,716
we're gonna show to
some of our freshman.
196
00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:55,250
Oh no, you're not.
197
00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,079
We send our kids here
to get an education
198
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,818
not to watch
disgusting sex movies.
199
00:08:59,901 --> 00:09:02,926
Disgusting may be a
little strong, Mrs. Zugler.
200
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,452
Thank you. We are trying to
show our children
201
00:09:05,452 --> 00:09:07,275
that sex is not disgusting.
202
00:09:07,295 --> 00:09:08,837
I've been married for 27 years.
203
00:09:08,857 --> 00:09:11,054
Don't tell me what's disgusting.
204
00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:20,592
Look, we don't tell our children
that they have to drive cars
205
00:09:20,675 --> 00:09:22,277
but they're going to do it.
206
00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:24,177
So we offer them
driver's education.
207
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:27,697
So they can go to drive-in
movies and fool around.
208
00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:31,890
Isn't there a chance
that programs like yours
209
00:09:31,973 --> 00:09:34,072
give our children ideas?
210
00:09:34,155 --> 00:09:37,758
Wouldn't they get along fine
if you just left them alone?
211
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,380
They don't get along fine.
212
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,340
Do you people have any idea
about the teenage pregnancy
213
00:09:43,423 --> 00:09:46,502
rate in this country?
Or the teenage VD rate?
214
00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:49,506
Alright, if you're
gonna talk dirty, I'm leavin'.
215
00:09:50,769 --> 00:09:54,598
Mrs. Kotter is simply
trying to discuss the issue.
216
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,042
Alright, Miss Kotter, but if
you try showin' this sex movie
217
00:09:57,042 --> 00:09:59,946
to our children, we're
gonna come down on you hard.
218
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,041
Mrs. Zugler, please.
219
00:10:02,042 --> 00:10:04,546
We're concerned parents,
but we're not unreasonable.
220
00:10:04,547 --> 00:10:06,718
Now, I don't think that
we should judge the film
221
00:10:06,718 --> 00:10:07,785
without seeing it first.
222
00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:09,127
- I agree.
- Thank you.
223
00:10:09,177 --> 00:10:12,320
Mrs. Zugler, would
you please sit down?
224
00:10:13,218 --> 00:10:15,917
This is a simple animated movie
225
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,581
depicting the
biological facts of life.
226
00:10:19,664 --> 00:10:23,187
You know, birds,
flowers, butterflies.
227
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,065
That sort of thing.
228
00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:27,264
But, how do we know that?
229
00:10:27,347 --> 00:10:29,389
Okay, I tell you what
230
00:10:29,472 --> 00:10:32,775
I will show you the film,
and I'll stand there with you
231
00:10:32,775 --> 00:10:35,334
I'll explain the film to
you, just the way
232
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,419
I would explain
it to our students.
233
00:10:37,502 --> 00:10:40,725
Then, if you still find it
objectionable, we'll cancel it.
234
00:10:40,802 --> 00:10:43,203
[all] That seems fair.
That seems fair.
235
00:10:43,204 --> 00:10:45,114
Okay, okay, we'll
look at your movie.
236
00:10:45,115 --> 00:10:46,943
But I don't want you there,
because I don't want you
237
00:10:46,943 --> 00:10:48,466
standin' over me, tellin'
me something's clean
238
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:51,964
when I know it's dirty.
And if it's dirty...
239
00:10:52,047 --> 00:10:53,570
If it's dirty, you're
in for trouble.
240
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,595
Well, I'm not worried
about that, Mrs. Zugler.
241
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:58,654
You see, I happen to like
the kids in this school.
242
00:10:58,737 --> 00:11:00,178
And I wouldn't show
them anything that
243
00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:02,151
I wouldn't show my own mother.
244
00:11:02,234 --> 00:11:04,540
Now, I'll have one of the
students run the projector.
245
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,017
Now, wait a minute, I can
run the projector, alright?
246
00:11:07,026 --> 00:11:09,588
I mean, we don't want any of
the children involved in this.
247
00:11:09,607 --> 00:11:12,410
Okay, fine, the projector
is set up in room eleven.
248
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:15,011
You can just start it, it's
up at the top of the stairs.
249
00:11:15,094 --> 00:11:17,655
- Okay, thank you.
- You're welcome.
250
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:27,575
You know Juan, before
you start the movie
251
00:11:27,658 --> 00:11:29,040
uh, I gotta go get some popcorn.
252
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,501
I can't watch a movie without
hot, buttered popcorn.
253
00:11:32,663 --> 00:11:34,246
Hey, Arnold, just
get an ear of corn
254
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,830
because this film is so hot
255
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,285
the corn will pop itself!
256
00:11:39,814 --> 00:11:43,384
Yeah, he said the
corn'll pop itself.
257
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,470
Alright, alright,
quiet on the set.
258
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,180
Quiet on the set.
259
00:11:47,263 --> 00:11:48,676
Lights!
260
00:11:49,713 --> 00:11:51,170
Camera!
261
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,793
Action!
262
00:11:56,273 --> 00:11:59,080
Hey Juan, turn it on.
263
00:12:00,192 --> 00:12:01,606
Right.
264
00:12:02,477 --> 00:12:03,481
Action!
265
00:12:03,564 --> 00:12:05,024
♪♪
266
00:12:12,706 --> 00:12:14,489
What is that?
267
00:12:14,572 --> 00:12:16,309
What is that! Oh, ho-ho-ho!
268
00:12:16,392 --> 00:12:19,004
He don't know, you
don't know what that is!
269
00:12:19,087 --> 00:12:20,553
Haha. It's a flower.
270
00:12:20,636 --> 00:12:24,220
No it ain't,
it's a... it's, uh...
271
00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:28,945
That's right Horshack,
it's a... flower?
272
00:12:30,869 --> 00:12:31,869
Oh.
273
00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:34,304
Here comes a hummingbird.
274
00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:36,367
Hey, Carvelli.
275
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:39,712
What is that hummingbird doing?
276
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,055
- This ain't it!
- What?
277
00:12:42,138 --> 00:12:45,202
Oh, here comes a butterfly.
278
00:12:45,202 --> 00:12:46,644
Whaddaya mean,
whaddaya mean this ain't it?
279
00:12:46,684 --> 00:12:47,744
This is the film you gave me.
280
00:12:47,745 --> 00:12:49,190
No way, man, this
is not the film.
281
00:12:49,191 --> 00:12:50,996
He say, uh-uh.
282
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:55,292
Here comes Mr. Bumblebee.
283
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,475
Wait-wait-wait a minute, man.
284
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:57,658
If this is not your flick--
285
00:12:57,658 --> 00:12:59,300
It must be Mrs. Kotter's flick.
286
00:12:59,301 --> 00:13:01,683
Yeah, well I wanna
know where's my flick?
287
00:13:01,725 --> 00:13:03,607
Shh, Mrs. Kotter
probably got your flick.
288
00:13:03,607 --> 00:13:05,508
In the other projector!
289
00:13:10,735 --> 00:13:12,114
- Disgusting.
- Oh!
290
00:13:12,197 --> 00:13:13,938
Most disgusting film
I've ever seen...
291
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:15,986
Filth, this is filth!
Heads are gonna roll for this!
292
00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:18,090
I've never been so
offended in my life!
293
00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:25,707
There is a possibility
we may be too late.
294
00:13:28,898 --> 00:13:31,075
This day keeps getting
worse and worse.
295
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,540
Oh, don't worry, Mr. Woodman.
296
00:13:32,623 --> 00:13:34,083
When those people see that film,
297
00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:36,343
this day'll get
better and better.
298
00:13:36,389 --> 00:13:38,529
This piece of filth is
all the evidence we need.
299
00:13:38,612 --> 00:13:40,255
I have to go along
with Mrs. Zugler
300
00:13:40,255 --> 00:13:41,866
this is nothing but pure filth.
301
00:13:41,937 --> 00:13:44,461
And you are nothing but
an irresponsible trollop.
302
00:13:44,544 --> 00:13:46,507
Now, just a minute.
Just a minute.
303
00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,867
I will remind you that we
are ladies and gentlemen
304
00:13:48,867 --> 00:13:51,148
and we should behave
with dignity and decorum.
305
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,393
And as for you, you
sawed-off little twerp.
306
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:57,589
You are going to jail.
307
00:13:57,672 --> 00:14:00,598
You're gonna ruin my
career and put me in jail
308
00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:03,401
for something this trollop did?
309
00:14:04,964 --> 00:14:08,251
Mr. Woodman, please, how
can you say a thing like that?
310
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:10,799
I'm sorry, Julie, I...
311
00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:12,725
...I don't understand
what's going on here.
312
00:14:12,725 --> 00:14:15,388
Well, I'll tell you
what's going on here.
313
00:14:15,408 --> 00:14:18,953
You're showing pornography
to innocent schoolchildren.
314
00:14:18,953 --> 00:14:21,317
We just looked at this
so-called sex education film
315
00:14:21,317 --> 00:14:22,893
and it's nothing but trash.
316
00:14:22,976 --> 00:14:24,398
May I see this film, please?
317
00:14:24,481 --> 00:14:25,681
Don't give it to
him, it's evidence.
318
00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:26,943
That's alright, we have three
319
00:14:26,944 --> 00:14:29,465
witnesses who've
seen this vile film.
320
00:14:29,548 --> 00:14:32,926
I saw that film myself, I cannot
believe that this is happening.
321
00:14:33,009 --> 00:14:35,253
I cannot believe
this is happenin'.
322
00:14:35,336 --> 00:14:38,217
I can't believe this
is happening, either.
323
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,268
We'll be back tomorrow morning.
324
00:14:41,351 --> 00:14:45,040
And if either one of
you is still workin' here,
325
00:14:45,123 --> 00:14:47,364
we gon' blow the whistle.
326
00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:49,836
Take your hands off me.
327
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:55,752
Mr. Woodman, I just cannot
understand those people
328
00:14:55,835 --> 00:14:58,818
getting so upset
about a little film called
329
00:14:58,901 --> 00:15:01,001
"The passionate plumber?!"
330
00:15:02,146 --> 00:15:04,844
Mr. Woodman,
this is not our film!
331
00:15:04,927 --> 00:15:07,011
What are we gonna do?
332
00:15:07,035 --> 00:15:10,979
With time off for good behavior,
I'd say about ten years.
333
00:15:14,139 --> 00:15:17,596
Mrs. Kotter, is it true
Mr. Woodman may get canned?
334
00:15:17,679 --> 00:15:18,841
Both of us.
335
00:15:18,924 --> 00:15:20,385
And not may, will.
336
00:15:20,406 --> 00:15:22,748
What if you said it
wasn't your fault, huh?
337
00:15:22,748 --> 00:15:24,948
What if you said somebody
switched the movies, huh?
338
00:15:25,031 --> 00:15:27,270
What do you guys
know about this?
339
00:15:27,353 --> 00:15:28,153
Oh, uh...
340
00:15:28,153 --> 00:15:32,217
Hey, that's-that's
a long, sad story.
341
00:15:34,061 --> 00:15:35,521
Indeed.
342
00:15:35,723 --> 00:15:38,921
It's a veritable
comedy of errors.
343
00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:42,189
Make me laugh.
344
00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:49,252
Hey, Mrs. Kotter. Now, speakin'
for the tongue-tied trio
345
00:15:49,335 --> 00:15:50,797
here's how they
explained it to me.
346
00:15:50,797 --> 00:15:52,460
You see, Carvelli brought
this certain film to school.
347
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,742
And he didn't
have it, Murray did.
348
00:15:53,762 --> 00:15:54,941
But Murray just
carried it for Carvelli
349
00:15:55,024 --> 00:15:56,687
and Horshack picked it up.
350
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:58,707
However, you know, the
film that Horshack picked up
351
00:15:58,790 --> 00:15:59,909
it wasn't Carvelli's.
352
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,775
But Carvelli grabbed
it and gave it to Murray.
353
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,114
So the film Epstein
put in the projector
354
00:16:03,197 --> 00:16:04,880
wasn't yours, it was Carvelli's.
355
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:06,260
And the one that Carvelli
took from Horshack and gave
356
00:16:06,343 --> 00:16:08,283
to Murray, that was yours.
357
00:16:08,366 --> 00:16:09,768
Are you followin' me?
358
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,225
No.
359
00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:14,198
Well, anyway, now-now,
when Washington said--
360
00:16:14,218 --> 00:16:17,403
Uh, thank you very
much F. Lee De Labarre.
361
00:16:17,404 --> 00:16:20,218
Uh, will you take your place
back with the other guys?
362
00:16:20,218 --> 00:16:21,859
Thank you, thank you.
363
00:16:21,942 --> 00:16:24,945
I would like to talk
to the parties involved.
364
00:16:25,329 --> 00:16:26,789
Juan.
365
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,354
Okay, okay, Carvelli
brought this film into school.
366
00:16:29,437 --> 00:16:31,599
"The Passionate Plumber".
367
00:16:32,063 --> 00:16:34,086
The very one.
368
00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:36,966
- So, when I decided that well--
- Wait, wait, wait.
369
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:40,391
Who put that film
in my projector?
370
00:16:40,474 --> 00:16:42,216
I did, but you gotta
understand the circumstances.
371
00:16:42,236 --> 00:16:44,419
That's enough.
Um, guys, if you don't mind
372
00:16:44,419 --> 00:16:46,791
I'd like to talk to Juan alone.
373
00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:49,437
It's okay.
374
00:16:51,148 --> 00:16:53,248
Deal with it.
375
00:16:53,649 --> 00:16:55,671
Juan, just say you didn't know
what you were doin', you know?
376
00:16:55,754 --> 00:16:58,924
That covers about 95 percent
of what you do, anyway.
377
00:17:01,149 --> 00:17:03,238
Hey, thanks a lot guys, huh?
378
00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:05,735
C'mon, I'll face the music.
379
00:17:08,037 --> 00:17:09,450
Juan!
380
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,244
Oh, yeah... Juan, that's me.
381
00:17:14,327 --> 00:17:17,930
You know, sometimes I get myself
mixed up with the other guys.
382
00:17:18,013 --> 00:17:20,538
Okay Juan, if you put
that film in that projector
383
00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:23,063
I want you to go to the
parents and tell them.
384
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,259
Oh, no-no-no.
I can't do that.
385
00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:26,607
I mean, I can't
tell 'em the truth.
386
00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:27,929
I'm gonna get expelled.
387
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,173
My mother's gonna find out.
388
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,415
Socially, I'll be ruined.
389
00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:34,240
I'd be the laughin'
stock of the ghetto.
390
00:17:35,426 --> 00:17:38,808
Juan, we're talking
about responsibility, here.
391
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,675
You were responsible
for that film
392
00:17:40,713 --> 00:17:42,933
and we are responsible for you.
393
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,652
Couldn't you tell
them the Butler did it?
394
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,133
No, I'm sorry, I can't.
395
00:17:51,144 --> 00:17:54,028
Okay Juan, don't worry.
I won't fink on you.
396
00:17:54,111 --> 00:17:56,940
The parents want blood,
I'll just give 'em mine.
397
00:17:57,023 --> 00:17:58,825
C'mon, c'mon, that
ain't fair, now.
398
00:17:58,857 --> 00:18:01,361
- It wasn't your fault.
- Yes it was, Juan.
399
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,018
You see, I made one
very big mistake.
400
00:18:04,101 --> 00:18:05,647
What was that?
401
00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:07,580
I trusted you.
402
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,981
Look, it's unfortunate
that this had to happen.
403
00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:16,394
But, it was all a
misunderstanding
404
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:17,905
and it was my fault.
405
00:18:17,925 --> 00:18:19,446
Mr. Woodman had
nothing to do with it.
406
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:20,568
Now, just a minute, Miss Kotter.
407
00:18:20,568 --> 00:18:22,629
No, let her finish.
408
00:18:23,908 --> 00:18:26,433
I started the program,
I selected the film
409
00:18:26,516 --> 00:18:29,419
I should be the one to
suffer the consequences.
410
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,898
Well, I appreciate
that, Julie, but, uh...
411
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:35,090
I can't let you do it.
412
00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:39,080
I authorized this program
and I'm responsible for it.
413
00:18:39,163 --> 00:18:40,763
Isn't this quant?
414
00:18:40,846 --> 00:18:42,310
First, she says
she's responsible.
415
00:18:42,393 --> 00:18:44,351
Then, he says he's responsible.
416
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:47,318
Who's gonna take the blame
next, the school mascot?
417
00:18:49,469 --> 00:18:51,330
I did it.
418
00:18:52,771 --> 00:18:55,121
I set up the projector,
I put the film in it.
419
00:18:55,205 --> 00:18:59,789
So, go on, go on, send me up to
the big house, alright?
420
00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:01,271
Hey, hey, hey,
come on, take it easy.
421
00:19:01,354 --> 00:19:04,055
One bad movie a day is enough.
422
00:19:05,558 --> 00:19:08,820
You dear, dear people.
423
00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:10,901
You saw the wrong film.
424
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,562
This is the film that you
were supposed to see.
425
00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:19,151
Do you expect us to believe that
the whole thing was a mistake?
426
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:21,677
Can you get these
children out of the room?
427
00:19:21,677 --> 00:19:23,137
Oh.
428
00:19:25,314 --> 00:19:29,049
That's the first time
anybody called us children.
429
00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:32,020
Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
430
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:34,602
I-I'd like to hear
what they have to say.
431
00:19:34,685 --> 00:19:36,295
Well, why, we know what we saw.
432
00:19:36,307 --> 00:19:37,688
Well, that's true,
but I've been thinking.
433
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:39,609
I mean, they're
intelligent people.
434
00:19:39,629 --> 00:19:41,688
Why would they
suggest that we see a film
435
00:19:41,771 --> 00:19:43,490
that was sure to insult us?
436
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:46,172
Hey, hey, Shakespeare,
read my lips, huh?
437
00:19:46,255 --> 00:19:49,868
I told ya.
I set up the wrong film.
438
00:19:49,951 --> 00:19:51,833
Okay, that's enough.
439
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,479
Look, I appreciate you
boys tryin' to take the blame
440
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,125
but Juan was just
following my orders.
441
00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:59,927
I gave him the film to
put in the projector.
442
00:19:59,927 --> 00:20:01,775
What are ya talkin' about?
443
00:20:02,527 --> 00:20:04,448
Why Mrs. Kotter?
444
00:20:04,532 --> 00:20:06,690
To prove a point.
445
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,427
To show you
the difference between
446
00:20:08,496 --> 00:20:11,495
sex education and pornography.
447
00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:13,800
Too many of our kids get
their sexual knowledge
448
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,866
from films like you saw
yesterday. Think about it.
449
00:20:17,886 --> 00:20:20,148
Is that how you want your
kids to learn the facts of life?
450
00:20:20,166 --> 00:20:21,626
Yeah, yeah.
451
00:20:24,874 --> 00:20:25,903
No.
452
00:20:25,986 --> 00:20:27,976
That's what we're
trying to stop.
453
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,368
That's right, then we should
try and stop it together.
454
00:20:31,451 --> 00:20:34,771
Instead of trying to stop
responsible sex education.
455
00:20:34,854 --> 00:20:37,696
Are you sayin' that
your sex education class
456
00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:41,052
will keep our kids out
of these filthy movies?
457
00:20:41,136 --> 00:20:44,738
No. We can't always
control what they see.
458
00:20:44,821 --> 00:20:47,522
But, if the school, the
home, the community
459
00:20:47,605 --> 00:20:49,763
and the church
all work together
460
00:20:49,847 --> 00:20:51,568
we can arm our
kids with the truth
461
00:20:51,568 --> 00:20:54,190
so that movies like
this won't mislead them.
462
00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:56,113
I think I'm gettin' the
message, Miss Kotter.
463
00:20:56,113 --> 00:21:00,084
Well, I knew you would, once,
uh, we came up with the truth.
464
00:21:01,837 --> 00:21:04,840
Okay, I'm gonna ask
you one last favor.
465
00:21:04,923 --> 00:21:07,523
I want you to
see the right film.
466
00:21:07,606 --> 00:21:10,206
And then, if you
still don't approve
467
00:21:10,290 --> 00:21:13,511
I'll hand in my resignation
without another word.
468
00:21:13,594 --> 00:21:15,193
She'll do it, too.
469
00:21:15,276 --> 00:21:17,376
I guarantee it.
470
00:21:17,698 --> 00:21:18,898
Well, personally, Miss Kotter
471
00:21:18,899 --> 00:21:21,322
I want my children to
learn about sex at home.
472
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:23,665
But, I'm beginnin' to see your
viewpoint and, if this movie's
473
00:21:23,665 --> 00:21:25,624
what you say it is,
I won't oppose it.
474
00:21:25,707 --> 00:21:27,388
Good, okay.
475
00:21:27,407 --> 00:21:29,568
Mr. Epstein, would you bring in
the projector, please?
476
00:21:29,651 --> 00:21:31,111
Certainly.
477
00:21:31,573 --> 00:21:34,140
Oh, uh, here's the
film, Mrs. Kotter
478
00:21:34,215 --> 00:21:36,654
the birds and the bees movie.
479
00:21:36,718 --> 00:21:40,896
Are you sure you want
them to see that butterfly?
480
00:21:40,943 --> 00:21:44,163
Uh, you know, it might be better
if the children left the room.
481
00:21:44,205 --> 00:21:45,242
Just in case.
482
00:21:45,325 --> 00:21:46,785
Oh!
483
00:21:48,090 --> 00:21:50,330
Hey, come on Horshack, come on.
484
00:21:51,131 --> 00:21:52,131
You know, you surprised me.
485
00:21:52,215 --> 00:21:54,657
I thought you knew
everything about sex.
486
00:21:54,739 --> 00:21:56,199
I do!
487
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,580
But I just wanna see
the end of the movie.
488
00:21:58,664 --> 00:22:00,467
I wanna find out
if the hummingbird
489
00:22:00,467 --> 00:22:02,708
and the Daisy get married.
490
00:22:07,072 --> 00:22:08,715
Hey, uh, Mrs. Kotter,
we'll just show it up
491
00:22:08,798 --> 00:22:10,153
against this wall over here.
492
00:22:10,236 --> 00:22:11,959
Thank you, Mr. Epstein.
493
00:22:12,042 --> 00:22:14,643
Thank you, Mrs. Kotter.
Want me to load it up for ya?
494
00:22:14,726 --> 00:22:17,896
No, I think I'd better
do it myself, this time.
495
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,017
Here. You do it.
496
00:22:27,037 --> 00:22:29,237
Thanks a lot, Mrs. Kotter.
497
00:22:29,321 --> 00:22:30,781
Trust, huh?
498
00:22:31,284 --> 00:22:33,425
That's right, Juan.
499
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:41,913
[scatting]
500
00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:49,209
Hey, uh, excuse me, gentlemen.
501
00:22:49,249 --> 00:22:50,430
I don't mean to
interrupt, but, uh
502
00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:52,731
there's a certain piece
of property that's, uh
503
00:22:52,814 --> 00:22:53,875
rightfully mine, and, uh
504
00:22:53,935 --> 00:22:56,696
I think it should
be, uh, returned.
505
00:22:56,779 --> 00:22:59,281
He said, fork over the flick!
506
00:23:02,087 --> 00:23:04,263
Yeah, well, your
certain piece of property
507
00:23:04,330 --> 00:23:07,090
is in a certain place
in the basement.
508
00:23:07,174 --> 00:23:08,634
The incinerator.
509
00:23:10,570 --> 00:23:14,007
Yeah, yeah, your movie was
elected to the hall of flame.
510
00:23:16,417 --> 00:23:18,218
Yeah, Carvelli, it sounds
like your film's hotter now
511
00:23:18,301 --> 00:23:19,501
than it was before.
512
00:23:19,584 --> 00:23:22,484
Hey, you guys don't understand,
that's an expensive film.
513
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,086
Now, I think we should
take up a little collection
514
00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:26,232
so I can get my film back.
Now, what do you think, huh?
515
00:23:26,252 --> 00:23:28,355
What was that
about a film, Carvelli?
516
00:23:28,355 --> 00:23:31,219
Oh, no, I-I didn't say anything
about a film, Mrs. Kotter.
517
00:23:31,239 --> 00:23:34,080
I was talkin', Murray! Murray,
did I say anything about a film?
518
00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:36,534
Yeah, Carvelli, you
were sayin' that you--
519
00:23:37,909 --> 00:23:40,041
'Scuse us, Mrs. Kotter,
Mr. Woodman, but, uh
520
00:23:40,112 --> 00:23:42,175
we got a, uh, a choir practice.
521
00:23:42,175 --> 00:23:44,198
- Yeah.
- See you later.
522
00:23:45,071 --> 00:23:46,673
About this film business.
523
00:23:46,756 --> 00:23:49,478
Will somebody please
explain to me what happened?
524
00:23:49,498 --> 00:23:53,176
Oh, Mr. Woodman,
allow me to elucidate.
525
00:23:54,042 --> 00:23:57,655
You see, the female butterfly...
526
00:23:57,726 --> 00:24:02,191
...with her wings all aglow
in black and yellow...
527
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:04,689
C'mon, c'mon, that ain't
what he's talkin' about.
528
00:24:04,773 --> 00:24:07,755
No, wait a second.
Let him finish.
529
00:24:08,234 --> 00:24:10,475
[indistinct]
530
00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:16,480
[theme song]
531
00:24:20,812 --> 00:24:23,514
♪ Welcome back ♪
532
00:24:23,597 --> 00:24:27,083
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
533
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,477
♪ Welcome back ♪
534
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:34,307
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
535
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:38,703
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
536
00:24:38,786 --> 00:24:43,055
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
537
00:24:43,138 --> 00:24:45,362
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
538
00:24:45,445 --> 00:24:47,146
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
539
00:24:47,229 --> 00:24:49,279
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
540
00:24:49,362 --> 00:24:51,368
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
541
00:24:51,451 --> 00:24:53,413
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
542
00:24:53,496 --> 00:24:55,633
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
543
00:24:55,716 --> 00:24:57,853
♪ Welcome back ♪
544
00:24:57,936 --> 00:25:02,118
♪ welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
545
00:25:02,201 --> 00:25:04,294
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
546
00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:06,992
♪ Welcome back ♪
547
00:25:07,075 --> 00:25:10,866
♪ We always could
spot a friend ♪
548
00:25:10,949 --> 00:25:13,216
♪ Welcome back ♪
549
00:25:13,299 --> 00:25:17,786
♪ And I smile when I think
how you must've been ♪
550
00:25:17,869 --> 00:25:22,224
♪ And I know what a scene
you were learnin' in ♪
551
00:25:22,307 --> 00:25:26,403
♪ was there something that made
you come back again ♪
552
00:25:26,486 --> 00:25:28,926
♪ Then what could ever lead ya ♪
553
00:25:29,009 --> 00:25:31,012
♪ What could ever
lead ya... ♪♪
41919
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