Original subtitles

[train chugging]

♪ I said Ba-Ba-Ba Ba-Barbarino ♪

♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barbarino ♪

♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barbarino ♪

[indistinct singing]

[sighs] Oh, boy, my own apartment.

And they thought I'd amount to nothin'.

All I gotta do is put up some of these pictures

and this place will be a regular luxury penthouse.

Oh, baby, you and me was meant for each other.

'Cause we both got bodies that was built for motion.

[knock at door]

- Who is it? - It's me, Vinnie, Sally.

Oh, Sally, just wait a second, alright?

Just a minute, Sal. I'll be right there.

- Hi, Vinnie. - Sally.

Oh, I'm sorry it took so long, but, you know, it's a big place

so I'm not, I don't know my way around yet.

Well, that's okay. You know, I would have called you

but your number isn't listed.

I know. Some new phone company rule.

They don't list your number unless you got a phone.

Well, you got a real nice hallway out here.

Isn't it a great hallway?

I love this hallway. It's so, it's so convenient, you know.

All you gotta do is open your door

and you're right out here in the hallway.

[sighs] Well, if your hallway's this nice

I'll bet your apartment's great.

Oh, the apartment's great.

Oh, I see. Alright, come in, I'll show--

Oh, but I can only stay for just a second.

Well, that's okay.

How do you like it?

Boy, this is really, um...

...it's gonna be nice when you get moved in.

I am moved in.

Well, I wasn't expecting, you know, to...

for company to see it until tonight.

Why don't you sit here?

Oh, about tonight, Vinnie.

Um, I don't think I can make it.

See, I gotta work at the hospital reception desk

so I'm really sorry.

Oh, that's okay. I understand.

Us people in the medical profession...

...our lives are just not our own.

Well, I gotta be going now, Vinnie, I'll just...

- I'll be seeing you, okay? - Sally, look.

Hold on a second.

I ain't gonna see you tonight, 'cause we ain't going

on a date, right?

Yeah.

So, shouldn't I take my goodnight kiss now?

Okay.

[sighs]

- Well, goodnight. - Goodbye.

You know, I just can't get used to this apartment livin'.

[theme song]

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all changed ♪

♪ Since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained ♪

♪ And they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ 'Cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ 'Cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back welcome back ♪♪

Well, thanks again, Vinnie, for being so nice

about me canceling our date tonight.

Most guys wouldn't be that understanding.

Oh, did you think I was the kind of guy

that would lose his cool over something like this?

I mean, I know that I'm gonna see you again.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- I'll see you then. - Okay, bye-bye.

- Goodbye, Vinnie. - So long, see you later.

She canceled our date, I don't believe it.

[knock at door]

She's back.

Just a second.

Sally.

Mrs. Kotter, what are you doing here?

Oh, I just came by to bring this gift.

- Well, where's Mr. Kotter? - He's at home.

We go halfsies. He buys, I deliver.

- Well, come on in. Sit down. - Okay.

Boy, a gift for me, I can't believe it.

Yeah, it's really for house-warming.

Oh, thank you, but I already got a radiator.

Hey, you want something to eat? I got cornflakes.

Oh, no thanks, Vinnie, it's okay.

Oh, no, come on. I-it's good, it's got sugar.

No, I'm telling you, it's okay.

- Okay. - Vinnie!

So, what's it like to have your own place?

Oh, it's nothing much, but it's home, you know.

- How do you like it? - I like it.

You know, it's just getting too much at home.

T-the, my baby brothers are growing up so fast and all

it's getting too crowded.

Yeah, I-I guess it gets hard

when you get older to share a room, huh?

Well, we was all sharing a bed.

But, anyway, I thought I'd do the family a favor.

I'll move out, so it'll be one less mouth to feed.

Vinnie, your mom's gonna miss you.

Oh, no, she'll see me every night when I go home for dinner.

Why don't you open your present?

Oh, I love presents, especially when they're for me, you know.

Oh, a box of tissue paper.

- Oh, towels. - The tow--

Towels. Hey, that's a good gift.

Yeah, Gabe and I figured you could use some towels.

- Hey, you know what? - What?

Now I can take these ones back to the hospital.

I think you're going to make a ward

full of wet people very happy, Vinnie.

You know, I-I, for once, I got something that's my very own.

[knock at door]

Just stay there and make yourself at home.

♪ Hello ♪♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪♪ Hello ♪

- Come on in, guys. - Hello, Vinnie.

Hey, what's happening, Mrs. Kotter?

[Julie] Hi.

Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, I'm at a loss for words.

But crummy's close.

You know something, Vinnie man, this place you got here

it ain't so hard to look at.

If you close one eye and don't look out the other.

[laughing]

Ah...

You know, with a fresh coat of paint

this place could pass for a flea bag.

Hey, I don't know you.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Beau DeLabarre.

Where'd you guys pick up this clown?

Vinnie, Beau's a new student at school.

He's in Gabe's class.

Oh, he can't be no part of our class.

He talks funny.

Vinnie, my man, that funny-talkin' my man over here

has got guessing more chicks than you'll ever see.

Oh, yeah? Well, nobody gets more chicks than Vinnie Barbarino.

With all due modesty, sir

there are three areas I am without peer.

My way with women

my way with words

and my way with women.

Well, look, your face ain't as pretty as mine.

As a matter of fact, Bobo...

...you are so ugly that when you was born

the doctor slapped your face by mistake.

[laughing]

Well, that may be true.

But you were so ugly, when you were born

the doctor had to slap the nurse to keep her from laughing.

[laughing]

Alright, hold on. This guy gets a definite maybe.

- Hey, yeah, alright. - Alright.

Where are my manners? Let me show you around the place.

- You mean there's more? - Yeah.

Okay, now, this is the livin' room.

This is where I do all my livin'.

Uh, we used to have a sofa like this.

And then my father got a job.

Over here.

This is my dining room.

Ah...

It's got a built-in dining table.

Must be great for pressed duck.

[all] Oh.

You know, you've been livin' with Mr. Kotter too long.

If the tour will follow me.

- Sure. - Let's go.

This is the, this is my laundry room.

And this...

Now this here is my, my kitchen.

Yeah, you can wash your socks and cook soup at the same time.

[laughing]

Well, Vinnie, this place just seems to have everything.

Except for the most important feature

in any bachelor's quarters.

Oh, the bathroom. You wanna see the bathroom?

It's down the hall to the left.

No, Vinnie, Vinnie.

I'm referring to your sleeping quarters.

Where's the bed?

- Oh, well, is it 4:45 yet? - Yeah, why?

Because any minute, the-the Flatbush Express

and my bed will be due.

[train chugging]

What do you know, a train bed.

Alright! Yay!

Hey, it's nice.

When anything comes out of the wall at my house

I usually set a trap for it.

Hey, you know, my-my family had a-a bed

that came out of the ceiling once.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

But it belonged to the people upstairs.

[laughing]

Come on, get off the bed.

Those-those are hospital sheets, they're sterile.

What?

You know, Vinnie, the great thing

about finally getting your own place is that

you get to enjoy some privacy.

Yeah, but not as much as we gonna be enjoying it.

[cheering]

Hey, attention, all you foxy chicks in Brooklyn!

The boys are now centrally located.

And we're open 24 hours for your partying convenience.

No reasonable offer refused.

[all] Yeah.

You know, I'm sure that Vinnie's gonna invite us back real soon

so maybe now is the time to leave.

You know, Mrs. Kotter, that's a good idea.

You know, good, smart thinking.

So, why don't you just, um, why don't you just run along

and we'll have you back by here soon as we get the place

all nice and fixed up, alright?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Kotter, it's been grand seeing you again.

Simply grand. Let's do it again real soon.

Don't be such a stranger next time.

I thought she'd never leave.

That's one thing I hate, is somebody who comes over here

uninvited and stays forever.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Shows the definite lack of breeding.

Hey, y'all, you know what's the best part

about this whole thing?

I mean, not only can we all hang out together at school

but we can also hang out here for the rest of our lives.

[cheering]

Hey!

Vincent.

We have got to talk curtains.

Wait a second.

Look, this is my first apartment, guys.

And I'd like to fix it up myself.

- By myself. - Vinnie, guy, come on now.

You know any apartment of yours is an apartment of ours.

- We'll help you fix it up. - Yeah.

No, you don't understand, look.

With all us guys here all the time, it-it...

There's not enough room here.

I mean, a guy's gotta be alone once in a while.

You know, Vinnie...

And that's my furniture.

You know, Vinnie, you are absolutely right.

I know that.

- What we gotta do... - What?

- Divvy up the nights. - Hey, yeah.

That's a good idea. Okay, here we go, uh...

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

Thursday, Friday, Saturday. There you are.

What about me? Don't I get a night?

You don't need a night, you live here.

Hold on a second.

You guys gotta get something straight.

Look, this is, this is my apartment, okay?

And every night is my night, all alone.

And you guys are invited over any time you wanna come

b-but when I invite ya.

But right now, I think I'd like you all to go.

Well, excuse us for livin'

Mr. Got His Own Apartment Barbarino.

Yeah, see if I risk my life

coming into this crummy neighborhood again.

I've been thrown out of better dumps than this.

Why, I live in a better dump than this.

I don't wanna get you mad, but I just wanna be alone, that's all.

Hey, listen, Mr. Lonely Hearts...

...if it's alone you want, it's alone you gonna get.

You got it.

You know, Vincent...

...there is something that I have wanted

to tell you for a very long time.

But since I'm giving you the silent treatment...

...you're just gonna have to guess what that is!

What a pity, we couldn't have parted friends.

Good day.

Tell you something, Vinnie Barbarino.

Next time Juan Epstein darkens your door

he's coming with a can of spray paint.

I don't care what you do. Just don't slam my door no more.

Ah, shut up.

Okay, may I remind you that your compositions

on the Battle of Hastings are due tomorrow.

That's not Friday, not Monday, and not a week from Thursday.

Tomorrow. Bye. Tomorrow!

- Oh, sure. - Yeah.

You know, Kotter, being principal is great.

The students like me better.

I've noticed, Mr. Woodman, you don't need that

SWAT team to escort you home anymore.

- Mr. Kotter. - Hi, Vinnie.

I got a real problem.

Last night, the guys came over to my new apartment

and I kicked them out and I think I hurt their feelings.

You call that a problem?

You're better off without those delinquents.

Yeah, but they're my friends, Mr. Woodman.

Friends? You don't need any friends.

Look at me.

I haven't had a friend in 20 years.

So, cheer up, chances are you'll wind up

the same kind of happy-go-lucky guy I am.

[laughing]

Happy-go-lucky.

Every night, the suicide hotline calls him and says

"Are you ready?"

[laughs]

Mr. Kotter, what am I gonna do? I want to...

I want to hang out with the guys

and they, they wouldn't even talk to me.

Oh, Vinnie, look, I wouldn't worry about it, you know.

Those differences happen between friends. It's just part of life.

Hi, guys. How's every--

- What's happening, Mr. Kotter? - Hi, Mr. Kotter.

Good morning, good morning. Hello, hello, hello.

- Hi, Juan. - How you doing, Mr. Kotter?

Glad to see we caught you alone.

Alright, come on, guys. Lighten up.

I mean, why you being so rough on Vinnie for, huh?

Vinnie...

Oh!

That Vinnie.

You talking about the lone stranger.

Yeah.

[imitates cowboy tune]

And with a smell of dust in an empty room

a heartless bum with a cry

"Get out you guys, get out. It's the lone stranger."

Hi-ho, Vinnie!

Who needs ya?

[laughing]

Come on, sit down.

I'm surprised at you guys. You hear me?

Oh, forget it, Mr. Kotter.

These-these clowns don't wanna be my friends.

I'm not so sure I wanna be their friend either.

Who was that masked fink?

I don't know, but he left this silver comb.

I don't understand.

I mean, why are you guys coming down so heavy on Vinnie?

The man kicked us out of his apartment.

Gentlemen!

Alright, you guys.

Listen, Vinnie is going through a new experience.

He just needs a little room to grow, that's all.

Mr. Kotter, we can-we can all grow in the same room.

Freddie, you can't.

You're all good friends, but you can't stay together forever.

Independence is a very important thing

and Vinnie was just trying to feel his

and you guys sorta just crowded him a little bit.

- You think so? - Sure. Look...

Someday you're all gonna want your independence.

And when you do, you need your friends to support you.

To back you. Not turn their backs on you.

You know, my daddy always taught me, there are...

...three things you never turn your back on.

The most important one of all is

never turn your back on a friend.

That's right. Just for curiosity sake...

Uh, what are the other two things

you don't turn your back on?

A good woman...

...or a nurse with a dull needle.

Who needs 'em? That's what I wanna know.

Who needs 'em? Not me.

Oh, they're so funny, aren't they?

"The lone stranger."

Hi-ho, stupid.

They think they'll hurt me by not coming over.

They didn't hurt me.

There's lots of things I can do by myself.

No flow, I could actually take a flying leap.

[sighs] Boy, this grown-up life is great.

You got your own apartment, you can do anything you want.

You can make all the rules, nobody can tell you

what to do or what not to do.

Hey, mom, look at this. What mess?

Dirty dishes, dirty dishes. Look at this, mom.

Too bad.

Oh, boy.

When the word gets out that Vinnie Barbarino's

got his own apartment, there's gonna be chicks

swarming all over this place.

And I don't mean just ordinary chicks

I mean superstars.

Farah...

...get your hair out of your face.

Marie...

Oh, Marie, you look much better without Donnie there.

Oh, is that the door? Oh, excuse me, women.

You had me long enough anyway.

Excuse me. Yes, oh, yes. Good to meet you. Yeah, yeah.

Boy, I'm never having one of these parties again.

Oh, it's-it's Charlie's Angels.

And they're all dressed as massage parlor girls.

Oh, well, come out here by the pool.

Oh, you-you-you want to give me a massage, huh?

Oh, yeah, okay. No, alright, well, look.

I ain't responsible if you get carried away.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Boy, Vinnie Barbarino's gonna be wailing tonight.

[train chugging]

I'm so lonely.

[knock at door]

[knock at door]

[knock at door]

So?

You, uh...

...you mind if we come in?

I don't care what you do, do whatever you want.

- Look... - I'm sorry...

- What I wanted to say was... - I'm sorry...

Go on, finish what you was gonna say.

Arnold, you, uh...

Freddie, you talk, go ahead, go ahead.

Hey, look, Vinnie, what we're trying to, um...

- Beau, you tell him. - Yeah, well, uh...

It's Vinnie's apartment, we'll let him go first.

I forgot what I was gonna say. Forget it.

Yeah, us too.

Hey, look, Vinnie...

...when you behave like a real armpit...

...the least you can do is say you're sorry.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

Not you, rabbit ears.

Us, we're sorry.

Hey, Vinnie, look, um...

...we-we owe you an apology.

Yeah, but I'm the one who threw you guys out of the apartment.

No, we barged in on you. We're sorry first.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah.

[knock at door]

Hey, one of you guys go get the door.

Why should we get the door?

It's your apartment, you get the door.

- Hi, Vinnie. - Hi, Vinnie.

- Mr. and Mrs. Kotter. - Yeah, listen...

We got some Chinese food, we had an extra spare rib

so we thought you might wanna join us?

Oh, we see the guys are here, we'll come back another time.

No, come on, these are friends. Everybody, come on in.

We'll have a regular party.

- Guys. - Hi, guys.

Listen, if I knew you guys were here I would have got

two extra spare ribs.

Hey, where's your dining room table?

Oh, I'll get the dining room table.

Oh, this is great. The egg rolls need ironing anyway.

Hey, you know, the best thing about having your own apartment

is that you can invite your friends over any time you want.

[all] Yeah.

Boy, am I glad you guys are here tonight.

- Yeah. - Us too, Vinnie.

[knock at door]

Mister-Mister Woodman, what are you doing here?

Hi, Barbarino.

Since neither one of us has any friends

I thought I'd drop over and we could knock off

a case of Grape Nehi.

But I see you have company, so, uh...

No, no, no, come on in.

Everybody, look. Mr. Woodman came to see me.

[all] Hi, Mr. Woodman.

Hey, everybody, I'd like to tell you all somethin'.

From now on, I ain't never gonna kick

none of you out of my apartment again.

- Alright, that's cool. - Yeah.

[knock at door]

Hi, Vinnie.

I got off work early and I thought

we could spend some time together.

You know, alone, just the two of us.

Well, um... yeah.

There's gonna be lots of times

when just the two of us can spend time together.

But... I'd like you to meet some of my friends.

Oh.

They was just leavin'.

- Only kidding, guys. - Yeah.

Hey, come on, let's get some Chinese food.

Sally, how you doing? I'm Mr. Kotter.

[indistinct chatter]

Vinnie, you know, I'm so happy everybody's back together.

You know, once I had an uncle who had no friends.

My Uncle Nesbit.

Didn't have any friends. Hey, guys, listen to this story.

My Uncle Nesbit had no friends, so he buys a dog.

Takes the dog everywhere with him, right?

My Uncle Nesbit and the dog go to the movies together.

In fact, one night, they went to the movies, right?

After the show, the manager comes up to him and says

"Hey, mister, how did your friendlike the show?"

And my uncle said, "Well, he really enjoyed it."

And the manager says, "I find that hard to believe."

My uncle says, "Well, so do I, 'cause he hated the book."

[laughs]

[theme song]

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all changed ♪

♪ Since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained ♪

♪ And they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ 'Cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ 'Cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ 'Cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪♪