Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,236 --> 00:00:03,586
An amazing story, my dear
2
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,368
was the story
of my Uncle Julian.
3
00:00:05,368 --> 00:00:07,588
Oh, why don't you tell me
about Uncle Julian?
4
00:00:07,631 --> 00:00:10,749
Uncle Julian was raised
by wild dogs.
5
00:00:10,832 --> 00:00:11,893
Oh, interesting.
6
00:00:11,976 --> 00:00:13,673
Yes, and when
he was 12-years-old
7
00:00:13,699 --> 00:00:16,279
he was brought to civilization
and he went to school
8
00:00:16,361 --> 00:00:18,930
he learned everything,
he graduated from high school
9
00:00:19,006 --> 00:00:22,245
took the civil service test,
and became a mailman.
10
00:00:22,328 --> 00:00:23,529
You're kidding!
11
00:00:23,611 --> 00:00:25,534
That's great,
what happened to him?
12
00:00:25,617 --> 00:00:26,858
What happened? He got fired.
13
00:00:26,928 --> 00:00:28,286
He used to bite himself
on the leg
14
00:00:28,369 --> 00:00:30,090
when he was delivering
the mail.
15
00:00:30,099 --> 00:00:31,774
[laughing]
16
00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:39,477
[theme song]
17
00:00:40,804 --> 00:00:43,681
♪ Welcome back ♪
18
00:00:43,764 --> 00:00:47,511
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
19
00:00:47,594 --> 00:00:49,730
♪ Welcome back ♪
20
00:00:49,813 --> 00:00:54,388
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
21
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:58,958
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
22
00:00:59,041 --> 00:01:03,353
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
23
00:01:03,436 --> 00:01:05,395
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
24
00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:07,314
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
25
00:01:07,397 --> 00:01:09,359
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
26
00:01:09,442 --> 00:01:11,666
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
27
00:01:11,749 --> 00:01:15,670
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
28
00:01:15,753 --> 00:01:18,064
♪ Welcome back ♪
29
00:01:18,147 --> 00:01:23,130
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
30
00:01:26,112 --> 00:01:29,397
[indistinct chatter]
31
00:01:39,777 --> 00:01:41,620
I don't understand it.
32
00:01:41,703 --> 00:01:44,965
Somewhere there's gotta be
a girl for me.
33
00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:48,347
Aw, Arnold, come on,
of course there is, Arnold.
34
00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:51,714
And someday,
someday you're gonna meet her.
35
00:01:51,797 --> 00:01:52,915
I even heard this rumor
goin' around
36
00:01:52,998 --> 00:01:54,934
that Godzilla has a daughter.
37
00:01:56,319 --> 00:01:57,760
Come on, Arnold.
38
00:01:57,843 --> 00:01:59,622
Come on, cheer up,
I'm only kiddin' around, eh?
39
00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:01,848
Cheryl Kipnus ain't the onliest
chick in Brooklyn.
40
00:02:01,848 --> 00:02:02,846
Yeah, and this ain't
the worst thing
41
00:02:02,929 --> 00:02:04,187
that ever happened, either.
42
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,121
Oh, Vinnie, Vinnie
43
00:02:05,131 --> 00:02:06,573
you don't know what it's like
44
00:02:06,573 --> 00:02:09,293
to always get dumped by girls.
45
00:02:09,376 --> 00:02:10,836
No.
46
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,256
But you do.
47
00:02:17,255 --> 00:02:19,477
Hey Arnold, Arnold,
don't worry about it.
48
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,223
Look on the brighter side,
one day you're gonna be able
49
00:02:21,223 --> 00:02:23,562
to look back on
all of this and...
50
00:02:23,645 --> 00:02:25,745
...burst into tears.
51
00:02:26,488 --> 00:02:28,608
Yeah, lookit, Arnold,
maybe this Cheryl Kipnus
52
00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,773
you know, she's just playin'
hard to get.
53
00:02:30,773 --> 00:02:33,016
Oh, little Juan,
you don't understand.
54
00:02:33,016 --> 00:02:36,257
A girl is not playing hard
to get when she says
55
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:40,544
"Arnold, if you
was the last man on Earth
56
00:02:40,544 --> 00:02:43,220
I'd start dating trees."
57
00:02:46,247 --> 00:02:48,149
Look, Arnold, girls like you.
58
00:02:48,232 --> 00:02:49,610
Watch this.
59
00:02:49,693 --> 00:02:51,293
Angie, come here.
60
00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:53,245
- Yeah?
- I'm gonna prove this to you.
61
00:02:53,328 --> 00:02:54,709
I'm gonna prove it to you.
62
00:02:54,719 --> 00:02:56,741
How about showin' Horshack
a good time?
63
00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:58,761
Are you kidding?
64
00:02:58,844 --> 00:03:00,304
She's busy.
65
00:03:01,183 --> 00:03:04,227
Laura, Laura, come here!
66
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:05,270
Yeah, Vinnie?
67
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,075
How about takin' Horshack out?
68
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:10,036
Sure, long as I can bring
a date along.
69
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,111
Aw.
70
00:03:12,194 --> 00:03:14,544
Face it, Vinnie,
I'm just a loser.
71
00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:17,553
Last night I called dial a date.
72
00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:19,403
They hung up on me.
73
00:03:21,590 --> 00:03:23,594
Hey, it's after 3:00.
74
00:03:23,677 --> 00:03:26,018
You feebs are holding
a seance?
75
00:03:26,101 --> 00:03:28,704
See if you can contact
your brains?
76
00:03:31,266 --> 00:03:33,806
Hey, come on,
let it be, Mr. Woodman.
77
00:03:33,889 --> 00:03:35,530
Arnold Horshack here,
he's got the blues.
78
00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:36,768
We're tryin' to cheer him up.
79
00:03:36,831 --> 00:03:38,063
Cheer him up?
80
00:03:38,073 --> 00:03:40,392
That's insane, every man
has a right to misery
81
00:03:40,475 --> 00:03:41,613
and depression.
82
00:03:41,696 --> 00:03:43,676
Arnold more than most.
83
00:03:47,822 --> 00:03:49,153
Hey, Mr. Woodman
84
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,485
why don't you go find a volcano
85
00:03:50,485 --> 00:03:52,854
and check it out
from the inside?
86
00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:58,289
Manana, guys.
87
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,700
[Epstein] What do you mean "Manana?"
88
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,500
What are you talkin' about?
89
00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:07,582
We're gonna be over your house
90
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:09,287
watchin' TV tonight.
91
00:04:09,307 --> 00:04:11,142
Why don't you stop by?
92
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:18,157
Yeah, and don't come empty
handed like you did last time.
93
00:04:18,696 --> 00:04:21,501
That was tacky, very tacky.
94
00:04:21,584 --> 00:04:24,401
Go stop by and get
some Fig Newtons.
95
00:04:24,484 --> 00:04:25,405
Fig Newtons?
You sure you don't want
96
00:04:25,488 --> 00:04:26,837
some milk to wash it down with?
97
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,510
You know they get stuck
in your throat.
98
00:04:28,593 --> 00:04:30,352
Well, what is the part
that gets stuck in your throat
99
00:04:30,435 --> 00:04:32,496
the fig or the Newton?
100
00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:35,974
Vinnie, I think your figs
got stuck to your Newton
101
00:04:35,988 --> 00:04:37,616
a long time ago.
102
00:04:37,699 --> 00:04:39,159
Doi, doi.
103
00:04:41,635 --> 00:04:42,773
Look, guys, uh, I don't think
104
00:04:42,856 --> 00:04:44,455
there's gonna be
any TV watching.
105
00:04:44,538 --> 00:04:46,888
I, uh, I'm gonna be busy
every night this week.
106
00:04:46,901 --> 00:04:48,142
Hm, busy every night this week.
107
00:04:48,142 --> 00:04:50,243
So, starting already.
108
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:52,385
I figured a man like you
would get the itch
109
00:04:52,468 --> 00:04:53,986
sooner or later.
110
00:04:54,069 --> 00:04:56,190
I don't have any itches,
Mr. Woodman.
111
00:04:56,272 --> 00:04:58,374
I'm teaching a class at NYU.
112
00:04:59,154 --> 00:05:01,678
That's what he tells
the old lady.
113
00:05:01,762 --> 00:05:04,045
Tell me, uh, Kotter,
this class...
114
00:05:04,045 --> 00:05:05,565
Does she have a sister?
115
00:05:05,565 --> 00:05:07,762
[laughing]
116
00:05:11,134 --> 00:05:14,013
Why is that Mr. Woodman
have to be like that?
117
00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:16,929
Mr. Kotter would never cheat
on the missus.
118
00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:18,274
Yeah, who could he get?
119
00:05:18,357 --> 00:05:21,022
[laughing]
120
00:05:21,106 --> 00:05:22,748
Look, Mr. Kotter,
if you need somebody
121
00:05:22,748 --> 00:05:25,148
to stop by and, uh,
check up on the wife and kids
122
00:05:25,231 --> 00:05:27,898
well, we'd be glad to.
123
00:05:27,981 --> 00:05:29,847
You know somethin', Juan?
Maybe that's not a bad idea.
124
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,674
Why don't you guys check in
on Julie and the girls?
125
00:05:31,754 --> 00:05:33,819
Say no more, Mr. Kotter.
126
00:05:33,819 --> 00:05:36,561
We won't leave your woman alone
for a minute.
127
00:05:36,645 --> 00:05:39,187
That's not exactly what I meant.
128
00:05:39,703 --> 00:05:42,053
Oh, it's okay, Mr. Kotter.
129
00:05:42,137 --> 00:05:45,307
Where else does a person like me
have to go?
130
00:05:46,061 --> 00:05:47,521
Yeah.
131
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,082
Hey Mr. Kotter,
don't worry about nothin', huh?
132
00:05:54,165 --> 00:05:56,967
Just-just leave a phone number
in case we drop
133
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:59,152
one of the twins or somethin'.
134
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:03,758
[chatter on TV]
135
00:06:03,842 --> 00:06:04,901
Come on, Arnold,
come over and check out
136
00:06:04,984 --> 00:06:06,443
the television.
137
00:06:07,569 --> 00:06:11,174
Oh, Cheryl, Cheryl.
138
00:06:14,498 --> 00:06:17,401
How could you turn down
a face like this?
139
00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:20,904
Look at that guy, look at
that guy with the big bazooka!
140
00:06:20,987 --> 00:06:23,391
He's goin' right after
the tank all by himself.
141
00:06:23,474 --> 00:06:25,415
Ooh, man, he's got guts.
142
00:06:25,492 --> 00:06:27,429
[explosion on TV]
143
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,447
Ooh, he do got guts.
144
00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:34,023
All over the place.
145
00:06:35,047 --> 00:06:39,190
Hey, he looks like a waffle
with a helmet on.
146
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:45,037
Guys, please.
147
00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:48,418
Hey, hey, what are you doin'
here, hey?
148
00:06:50,664 --> 00:06:52,386
Juan, do you really expect
the babies to sleep
149
00:06:52,386 --> 00:06:54,969
through machine gun fire
and rocket attacks?
150
00:06:54,988 --> 00:06:57,132
Well, they do at my house
151
00:06:57,132 --> 00:06:59,833
and I don't even have a TV set.
152
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,759
Okay, now I don't want
to be rude
153
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,464
but who invited you over?
154
00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:09,844
Ms. Kotter, you ought to be
grateful.
155
00:07:09,927 --> 00:07:11,987
An hour ago, this place
was a total wreck.
156
00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:16,292
That's because an hour ago
you totally wrecked it.
157
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:18,228
But it's spotless now, ain't it?
158
00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:20,429
But that's because you have
trained Arnold
159
00:07:20,512 --> 00:07:22,535
to clean up after you.
160
00:07:24,037 --> 00:07:25,977
You know, sometimes you guys
really treat Arnold
161
00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:28,119
like a dog.
162
00:07:28,203 --> 00:07:31,373
Are you kiddin'? I wouldn't
treat my dog like that.
163
00:07:36,035 --> 00:07:38,636
He might get dishpan paw.
164
00:07:41,073 --> 00:07:44,424
It's alright, Mrs. Kotter,
I don't mind, really.
165
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,390
Yeah, he's a little
Horshack homemaker.
166
00:07:49,513 --> 00:07:50,513
Ah, come on, let's go.
167
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,078
There ain't nothin'
on TV anyway
168
00:07:52,078 --> 00:07:55,182
except some old movie,
"The Ear that Ate Nebraska."
169
00:07:57,523 --> 00:08:00,127
Ooh, I didn't see that one yet.
170
00:08:00,210 --> 00:08:01,772
Oh yes, you did, Vinnie,
you checked it out, man.
171
00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:02,851
You don't remember?
172
00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:06,371
They got saved in the end
by a giant Q-tip.
173
00:08:07,998 --> 00:08:09,039
[Julie] Well, bye.
174
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,364
Yep, thanks a lot, Mrs. Kotter.
175
00:08:11,448 --> 00:08:13,842
- Night.
- Arnold, ain't you comin'?
176
00:08:13,925 --> 00:08:15,368
Oh, I'll meet ya.
177
00:08:15,417 --> 00:08:16,738
I wanna finish this.
178
00:08:16,821 --> 00:08:18,281
Oh, alright.
179
00:08:21,572 --> 00:08:23,635
Arnold, you know, I really
appreciate you staying
180
00:08:23,718 --> 00:08:25,495
and cleaning up.
181
00:08:25,578 --> 00:08:28,062
You know, I wanna do
something nice for you.
182
00:08:28,145 --> 00:08:30,107
Mr. Kotter's gonna be gone
every night this week.
183
00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:31,955
Why don't you come over
one night and have dinner?
184
00:08:32,029 --> 00:08:34,672
Oh, sure. Thank you,
Mrs. Kotter, you're very kind.
185
00:08:34,712 --> 00:08:35,512
Okay.
186
00:08:35,573 --> 00:08:38,474
Get my mind off of other things.
187
00:08:38,557 --> 00:08:40,776
Hey, you know, Mrs. Kotter
188
00:08:40,779 --> 00:08:44,502
this detergent really is
milder to your hands.
189
00:08:48,368 --> 00:08:50,468
Goodnight, Mrs. Kotter.
190
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:53,005
Arnold, are you okay?
191
00:08:53,088 --> 00:08:54,707
You seem troubled.
192
00:08:54,790 --> 00:08:57,890
A man has to learn
to hide his pain.
193
00:08:57,973 --> 00:09:00,152
Arnold, you're a boy.
194
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,695
Oh.
195
00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:05,718
In that case
196
00:09:05,981 --> 00:09:07,441
I'm miserable.
197
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,462
Aw, come on, Arnold, sit down.
198
00:09:10,545 --> 00:09:12,960
Let's talk about it, okay?
199
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:18,611
Cheryl Kipnus.
200
00:09:19,053 --> 00:09:20,367
Yes?
201
00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:23,332
She'd rather date
a birch tree.
202
00:09:24,873 --> 00:09:28,097
She would rather date
a birch tree.
203
00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:31,350
Are we talking about a girl here
or a woodchuck?
204
00:09:32,265 --> 00:09:33,725
A girl.
205
00:09:34,028 --> 00:09:37,166
Okay, you asked Cheryl out
and she said no?
206
00:09:37,249 --> 00:09:38,531
How'd you ask her out?
207
00:09:38,614 --> 00:09:42,598
How? With my mouth,
how else would I ask her out?
208
00:09:43,426 --> 00:09:44,985
Okay, Arnold.
209
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:49,254
I want you to ask me out the
same way you asked Cheryl out.
210
00:09:49,274 --> 00:09:50,681
Mrs. Kotter, come on!
211
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,073
Come on.
212
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:52,956
Come on, Arnold.
213
00:09:53,039 --> 00:09:56,699
Now I want you to approach me
the same way you approached her.
214
00:09:56,782 --> 00:09:57,582
Come on.
215
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,125
- Okay.
- Okay.
216
00:09:59,359 --> 00:10:00,819
Uh...
217
00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:03,611
uh, uh, Cheryl?
218
00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:05,793
Uh, I'd like to ask you
something.
219
00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:07,336
Okay.
220
00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,559
Uh, uh, uh, Cheryl, uh...
221
00:10:11,259 --> 00:10:14,924
...would you like to,
uh, to, uh...
222
00:10:14,944 --> 00:10:16,805
To what, Arnold?
223
00:10:16,888 --> 00:10:19,651
Would you like to go out
with me tonight?
224
00:10:19,734 --> 00:10:21,194
No.
225
00:10:21,318 --> 00:10:23,319
You, too, huh?
226
00:10:24,377 --> 00:10:28,121
Arnold, how can you ask
a girl out from another room?
227
00:10:28,203 --> 00:10:31,869
Well, I just didn't want to be
there when she said no.
228
00:10:31,869 --> 00:10:34,573
Arnold, you have to be...
You have to be direct.
229
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,653
You've gotta be assertive.
230
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,836
But you also,
you've gotta be romantic.
231
00:10:39,477 --> 00:10:40,419
Romantic?
232
00:10:40,502 --> 00:10:41,459
Yeah.
233
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:42,343
Me?
234
00:10:42,426 --> 00:10:44,307
Arnold, "Ooh, ooh" Horshack?
235
00:10:44,308 --> 00:10:45,586
[laughing]
236
00:10:45,669 --> 00:10:48,911
yeah, you,
Arnold, "Ooh, ooh" Horshack.
237
00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:50,734
You know, Arnold, one day
238
00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:54,391
a girl's gonna open up
that romantic part of you.
239
00:10:55,748 --> 00:10:58,468
And she's gonna be
a very lucky girl.
240
00:10:59,215 --> 00:11:01,758
Well, thank you, Mrs. Kotter.
241
00:11:01,841 --> 00:11:03,941
You're very understanding.
242
00:11:04,045 --> 00:11:06,320
You've gotta take chances,
Arnold.
243
00:11:06,403 --> 00:11:07,665
I will.
244
00:11:07,748 --> 00:11:10,130
If you want something, you've
gotta reach out and grab it.
245
00:11:10,213 --> 00:11:11,032
I will!
246
00:11:11,115 --> 00:11:12,617
Is there somethin'
you want, Arnold?
247
00:11:12,636 --> 00:11:14,097
My hat.
248
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:15,480
Then reach for it.
249
00:11:15,563 --> 00:11:17,203
Pretend it's Cheryl.
250
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,746
- Cheryl?
- Cheryl.
251
00:11:18,869 --> 00:11:22,013
Cheryl, could I have my hat now.
252
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:24,897
Arnold, don't ask, reach!
253
00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:26,440
Reach!
254
00:11:26,599 --> 00:11:27,556
I did it!
255
00:11:27,639 --> 00:11:29,749
See, it was easy.
256
00:11:33,853 --> 00:11:34,753
- It worked!
- Uh-huh.
257
00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:37,641
It really, really worked.
258
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,420
Goodnight, Arnold.
259
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,129
Goodnight
260
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,160
Julie.
261
00:11:51,924 --> 00:11:53,384
Julie?
262
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,208
Julie.
263
00:11:58,815 --> 00:12:00,836
Julie Horshack.
264
00:12:08,802 --> 00:12:10,840
- I don't believe it.
- It's true.
265
00:12:10,923 --> 00:12:13,266
I can't Arnold Horshack
in love with me?
266
00:12:13,349 --> 00:12:14,949
That's right, he says
you're the first woman
267
00:12:15,032 --> 00:12:17,099
who ever turned him on.
268
00:12:19,077 --> 00:12:20,037
That's right.
269
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,756
And we didn't even know
Arnold has switches.
270
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,328
Arnold and me?
271
00:12:26,410 --> 00:12:28,954
I know, it just don't make
sense, do it?
272
00:12:28,954 --> 00:12:30,638
I mean, how could anyone
fall in love
273
00:12:30,638 --> 00:12:32,999
with a person who has glasses?
274
00:12:35,139 --> 00:12:36,801
Mr. Kotter managed.
275
00:12:36,884 --> 00:12:40,627
Yeah, but he's into
that mind stuff.
276
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:42,189
You know what, boy, you should
have checked Arnold out
277
00:12:42,272 --> 00:12:44,355
today in lunch, man,
he was goin' nuts, boy.
278
00:12:44,355 --> 00:12:45,917
"She loves me, she loves me not.
279
00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:47,540
"She loves me,
she loves me not.
280
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,440
She loves me, she loves me not."
281
00:12:49,523 --> 00:12:50,698
That's the first time
I ever seen the guy
282
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,684
pluck mashed potatoes.
283
00:12:54,309 --> 00:12:56,289
And then he said
you touched him
284
00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:58,172
in a whole new way.
285
00:12:58,255 --> 00:12:59,434
Yeah, you know,
because most girls
286
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:00,398
who are involved with Arnold
287
00:13:00,398 --> 00:13:03,034
they touch him
with a ten-foot pole.
288
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:07,196
Yeah, so get this, okay?
289
00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:11,539
Arnold Horshack thinks you're
madly in love with him, too.
290
00:13:11,622 --> 00:13:13,565
But all we did was talk.
291
00:13:13,648 --> 00:13:17,111
Yeah, but that's the farthest
Arnold ever got with a girl.
292
00:13:17,614 --> 00:13:19,074
Yeah.
293
00:13:19,237 --> 00:13:21,217
Yeah, you know, they usually
just shake his hand
294
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,443
and lead him over
to a quiet corner
295
00:13:23,443 --> 00:13:25,545
and just leave him there.
296
00:13:26,027 --> 00:13:27,769
But you, you had to go
leadin' him on
297
00:13:27,769 --> 00:13:31,593
treatin' him like
a full-length person.
298
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:33,923
Hey, look, come on, Vinnie.
299
00:13:34,006 --> 00:13:36,451
Now Ms. Kotter here is
a happily married woman.
300
00:13:36,471 --> 00:13:38,392
Oh, come on, how happily married
could she be
301
00:13:38,475 --> 00:13:40,890
if she's foolin' around
with Horshack?
302
00:13:44,327 --> 00:13:47,811
I am not interested
in Arnold Horshack.
303
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,537
Come on.
304
00:13:50,317 --> 00:13:53,519
We've all been
around the corner.
305
00:13:53,602 --> 00:13:56,385
I mean, you did invite him
over to dinner, didn't you?
306
00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:59,059
That's right,
because he helped me clean up.
307
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,191
Yeah, but then you held
his hand, didn't you?
308
00:14:01,191 --> 00:14:02,830
And then you put your arm
around him, didn't you?
309
00:14:02,913 --> 00:14:04,351
And then you kissed him,
didn't you?
310
00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:06,897
- Yes, I kissed him.
- See, I told you!
311
00:14:06,897 --> 00:14:09,800
Now he won't wash his face
for another year.
312
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,902
I kissed him
because he was hurting.
313
00:14:13,985 --> 00:14:16,325
I would have done the same thing
for anybody I cared about
314
00:14:16,408 --> 00:14:17,748
that was hurting.
315
00:14:17,748 --> 00:14:19,815
[yelling]
316
00:14:25,687 --> 00:14:28,276
Guys, it's serious!
317
00:14:39,168 --> 00:14:40,368
Alright, now what
are we gonna do?
318
00:14:40,451 --> 00:14:42,252
Arnold's gonna be here
in an hour.
319
00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:44,031
Oh, well, that don't give you
much time to get yourself
320
00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:46,214
fixed up, do it?
321
00:14:46,457 --> 00:14:49,069
Now look, get yourself
all pretty and everything
322
00:14:49,079 --> 00:14:50,558
because this is very important
for him.
323
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,752
He even brushed his teeth.
324
00:14:54,725 --> 00:14:57,304
You know, Vinnie, you better
stay away from squirrels
325
00:14:57,387 --> 00:14:59,267
because one day one of 'em's
gonna mistake your brain
326
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:02,069
for an acorn and bury it.
327
00:15:05,753 --> 00:15:08,495
That's not very nice.
328
00:15:08,578 --> 00:15:11,742
Now look, Mrs. Kotter,
Arnold's just a young kid.
329
00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:14,787
He ain't even got
all of his pimples yet.
330
00:15:14,787 --> 00:15:16,884
I mean, just go easy on him.
331
00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:19,270
Juan, what kind of a woman
do you think I am?
332
00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:22,523
Do we really have to talk
about that right now?
333
00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:24,354
Bye.
334
00:15:24,437 --> 00:15:25,519
Alright, Mrs. Kotter, alright.
335
00:15:25,602 --> 00:15:27,642
Okay, now we all know that
you can handle this, alright?
336
00:15:27,725 --> 00:15:28,986
Now all you gotta do
is explain to Arnold
337
00:15:28,986 --> 00:15:31,949
that he's experienced
a school boy crush.
338
00:15:31,991 --> 00:15:33,993
And if that...
And if that don't work
339
00:15:34,074 --> 00:15:35,993
do the very best next thing.
340
00:15:36,076 --> 00:15:37,758
Marry him.
341
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:41,023
- Out.
- Check you out.
342
00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:45,735
This experience tonight
has been a maxi-bummer.
343
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,527
Julie?
344
00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:58,171
Honey, I'm leaving.
345
00:15:58,254 --> 00:15:59,389
Have a nice time.
346
00:15:59,472 --> 00:16:00,991
[Julie] You, too!
347
00:16:01,074 --> 00:16:02,853
Who did you say was coming over
for dinner?
348
00:16:02,936 --> 00:16:04,275
Arnold Horshack.
349
00:16:04,358 --> 00:16:05,757
Oh.
350
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,080
Do you have enough Handi Wipes?
351
00:16:10,352 --> 00:16:11,183
Yes.
352
00:16:11,266 --> 00:16:12,148
Okay.
353
00:16:12,231 --> 00:16:14,813
See you later, baby.
354
00:16:14,813 --> 00:16:16,273
Okay, bye.
355
00:16:30,363 --> 00:16:32,284
[knock on door]
356
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,292
Who is it?
357
00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:36,308
[glass breaking]
358
00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:39,252
[Arnold] It is I, my little cupcake.
359
00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:43,432
My little apple dumpling.
360
00:16:44,273 --> 00:16:46,634
My cherry cheesecake.
361
00:16:47,517 --> 00:16:49,617
Oh, Sara Lee.
362
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,069
No, it's Arnold Horshack.
363
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,862
Arnold, you're an hour early.
364
00:16:55,945 --> 00:16:58,403
Dinner isn't till 8 o'clock.
365
00:17:01,451 --> 00:17:02,549
I know.
366
00:17:02,632 --> 00:17:06,062
I figured why torture her
any longer?
367
00:17:06,145 --> 00:17:07,603
Here.
368
00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:11,344
How original.
369
00:17:11,427 --> 00:17:14,300
A clump of dirt.
370
00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:16,165
Oh, wait, there's more,
there's more.
371
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,645
Oh, good.
372
00:17:18,588 --> 00:17:20,829
I thought I'd let it breathe.
373
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:23,130
Arnold, I'm a mess.
374
00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:24,296
My hair is soaking wet.
375
00:17:24,296 --> 00:17:26,135
I just got out of the shower.
376
00:17:26,218 --> 00:17:28,601
Oh, you've always been
such a kidder.
377
00:17:28,601 --> 00:17:30,929
[laughing]
378
00:17:31,945 --> 00:17:34,767
Julie, Julie, Julie!
379
00:17:36,128 --> 00:17:38,670
What is that exquisite aroma.
380
00:17:38,754 --> 00:17:42,215
Strained carrots and succotash.
381
00:17:42,299 --> 00:17:43,759
My favorite.
382
00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:47,799
It's not for you,
I haven't fed the babies yet.
383
00:17:47,882 --> 00:17:51,588
Oh, you're always so thoughtful
as usual.
384
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,194
Julie, about the children
385
00:17:54,234 --> 00:17:57,677
I think they have a right
to know about us.
386
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,091
Arnold, no.
387
00:18:00,175 --> 00:18:01,076
Right again.
388
00:18:01,159 --> 00:18:03,518
Why drag them into this?
389
00:18:03,601 --> 00:18:06,343
Is this woman ever wrong?
390
00:18:06,427 --> 00:18:07,505
Arnold, come back to Earth.
391
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:08,970
Sit down, we've gotta talk.
392
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,089
It's real important.
393
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,632
I understand.
394
00:18:12,011 --> 00:18:14,113
No, I'm afraid you don't.
395
00:18:14,196 --> 00:18:17,820
Listen, Mrs. Kotter, Julie
396
00:18:17,903 --> 00:18:22,588
you feel-you feel guilty
about Mr. Kotter.
397
00:18:22,609 --> 00:18:23,927
You needn't.
398
00:18:24,011 --> 00:18:25,250
Dump him.
399
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:26,793
Arnold!
400
00:18:27,074 --> 00:18:28,994
Julie, Julie, we're young.
401
00:18:29,077 --> 00:18:31,036
We have a right to be selfish.
402
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:34,493
You've gotta grab all the gusto
you can get.
403
00:18:39,873 --> 00:18:43,812
Arnold, no one but Mr. Kotter's
allowed to grab my gusto.
404
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:49,859
I get it, I get it,
you are an old-fashioned girl.
405
00:18:49,943 --> 00:18:54,425
You wanna hear it
in an old-fashioned way.
406
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,840
[in French accent] Julie, my beloved...
407
00:18:58,297 --> 00:19:01,858
Arnold, get up.
408
00:19:02,011 --> 00:19:05,774
Arnold, I do love you,
but as a friend.
409
00:19:05,858 --> 00:19:07,385
[laughing]
410
00:19:07,468 --> 00:19:09,666
I knew that all the time.
411
00:19:11,273 --> 00:19:14,374
Arnold, would you stop
that ridiculous accent?
412
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,558
Now, I love you as a friend.
413
00:19:16,641 --> 00:19:18,741
It's totally different.
414
00:19:20,029 --> 00:19:23,423
But, but you said that
if I wanted something
415
00:19:23,506 --> 00:19:25,523
I should reach out and grab it.
416
00:19:25,606 --> 00:19:27,728
But I didn't mean me.
417
00:19:27,811 --> 00:19:29,190
Well, what did you mean?
418
00:19:29,273 --> 00:19:30,352
Hats?
419
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:31,755
I'm supposed to spend
my whole life
420
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,099
reaching out for hats?
421
00:19:36,604 --> 00:19:38,785
You were the one that opened up
this romantic part of me
422
00:19:38,868 --> 00:19:40,782
in the first place.
423
00:19:40,866 --> 00:19:43,907
I know, and I'm flattered,
Arnold.
424
00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:45,331
See, now you're gonna have
the courage
425
00:19:45,331 --> 00:19:48,204
to go after girls
your own age
426
00:19:48,276 --> 00:19:51,344
and stop getting crushes
on older women.
427
00:19:51,501 --> 00:19:54,351
You are an older woman,
aren't you?
428
00:19:57,471 --> 00:19:59,648
I'm not that old.
429
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,616
Well, how old are you?
430
00:20:01,699 --> 00:20:02,701
What's the difference?
431
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:06,009
I'm just curious, you know.
432
00:20:06,009 --> 00:20:07,516
I'm older than you, okay?
433
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,472
Yeah, but how much older?
434
00:20:09,555 --> 00:20:11,095
What? It doesn't make
any difference
435
00:20:11,178 --> 00:20:12,617
how much older, Arnold.
436
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:15,572
Gee, when I'm still in my prime
437
00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:17,994
you're gonna be a very old lady.
438
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,468
I'm not gonna be that old.
439
00:20:21,552 --> 00:20:25,058
Oh yeah, old, old lady, sure.
440
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,238
I'm gonna have to wheel
you around.
441
00:20:28,321 --> 00:20:30,910
I'm gonna have to feed you.
442
00:20:32,227 --> 00:20:35,289
Wipe the gruel off your chin.
443
00:20:37,734 --> 00:20:39,822
Hey, hey, Mrs. Kotter,
I'm sorry
444
00:20:39,856 --> 00:20:43,978
but that's not the kind of life
for an energetic young buck
445
00:20:44,061 --> 00:20:46,084
such as myself.
446
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:51,083
Sure didn't take you long
to get over me, did it?
447
00:20:52,204 --> 00:20:53,598
[baby crying]
448
00:20:53,681 --> 00:20:54,792
[knock on door]
449
00:20:54,875 --> 00:20:57,617
Oh, Mrs. Kotter, I'll get that.
450
00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:00,809
Hey, what are you doing here?
451
00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:03,436
We stopped by to pick up
your remains.
452
00:21:03,436 --> 00:21:04,795
My remains?
453
00:21:04,879 --> 00:21:08,641
Yeah, after Mrs. Kotter
broke your heart.
454
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:10,866
Mrs. Kotter didn't break
my heart.
455
00:21:10,949 --> 00:21:11,927
She didn't?
456
00:21:12,011 --> 00:21:14,120
Well, she didn't break
your liver.
457
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:16,955
Hey, listen, you guys.
458
00:21:17,039 --> 00:21:20,674
Mrs. Kotter and I have come
to an understanding.
459
00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:24,230
Hi.
460
00:21:30,850 --> 00:21:32,310
Wow.
461
00:21:36,218 --> 00:21:38,436
Will you guys stop bein'
ridiculous?
462
00:21:38,519 --> 00:21:41,223
Oh, Mrs. Kotter, allow me.
463
00:21:41,306 --> 00:21:44,667
Sometimes these boys here
can be a little dense.
464
00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:45,750
Really?
465
00:21:45,833 --> 00:21:47,973
I never noticed that.
466
00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:51,221
Listen, fellas, I simply
explained to Mrs. Kotter
467
00:21:51,221 --> 00:21:54,202
that an energetic young buck
such as myself
468
00:21:54,285 --> 00:21:57,588
cannot be slowed down
by an old...
469
00:21:58,881 --> 00:22:00,725
...by a middle-aged lady.
470
00:22:00,808 --> 00:22:04,399
How come you got that,
uh, robe on?
471
00:22:04,769 --> 00:22:06,251
Yeah, that's right.
472
00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:09,195
Now how you gonna explain that
to Mr. Kotter?
473
00:22:09,278 --> 00:22:12,696
Listen, Arnold Horshack has
acted with a clear conscience.
474
00:22:12,779 --> 00:22:15,643
He is afraid of nothing.
475
00:22:15,726 --> 00:22:18,127
Julie, I forgot
some of my notes--
476
00:22:36,674 --> 00:22:38,915
Julie, the wet look is out.
477
00:22:41,659 --> 00:22:42,759
What's the matter with you,
Arnold?
478
00:22:42,842 --> 00:22:44,644
Nothin' happened,
nothin' happened.
479
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:45,424
I swear nothin' happened.
480
00:22:45,425 --> 00:22:46,345
I never touched her.
481
00:22:46,346 --> 00:22:47,386
I'm a good boy, don't hurt me.
482
00:22:47,387 --> 00:22:48,191
I got small bones.
483
00:22:48,192 --> 00:22:49,810
I'm a good boy,
I'm a good boy!
484
00:22:49,811 --> 00:22:53,315
Goodbye. I'm a good boy!
485
00:22:53,315 --> 00:22:55,036
Relax, Mr. Kotter.
486
00:22:55,037 --> 00:22:57,137
Nothin' really happened.
487
00:22:57,601 --> 00:23:00,963
At least, uh,
that's what he told us.
488
00:23:03,554 --> 00:23:06,457
You really oughta buy your wife
a new bathrobe.
489
00:23:10,946 --> 00:23:13,649
I don't suppose I should ask you
what went on here tonight.
490
00:23:13,733 --> 00:23:15,193
Nah.
491
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,458
I didn't think so.
492
00:23:25,230 --> 00:23:26,754
Why don't you tell me anyway?
493
00:23:26,837 --> 00:23:29,144
Well, you see,
first there was this girl
494
00:23:29,144 --> 00:23:30,684
who would rather date
a birch tree
495
00:23:30,767 --> 00:23:33,291
and then he was rejected
by a woodchuck.
496
00:23:33,291 --> 00:23:35,632
Then he suddenly turned into
either Charles Boyer
497
00:23:35,715 --> 00:23:37,497
or Cary Grant,
I'm not sure which one.
498
00:23:37,497 --> 00:23:39,847
- Then he came--
- Alright, alright.
499
00:23:39,881 --> 00:23:42,784
Save it, we'll have something
to talk about tonight.
500
00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:46,949
What is this?
501
00:23:47,032 --> 00:23:49,032
Oh, Arnold brought that
for dinner.
502
00:23:49,116 --> 00:23:50,415
I don't know how many times
I've told him
503
00:23:50,498 --> 00:23:52,859
it's red wine with dirt.
504
00:24:02,178 --> 00:24:05,389
My Uncle William
was a pharmacist.
505
00:24:05,473 --> 00:24:07,822
- But he got fired.
- He did?
506
00:24:07,906 --> 00:24:09,465
Yeah, they fired him
when he was typing out
507
00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:11,010
the directions on the labels.
508
00:24:11,030 --> 00:24:12,392
Why'd they fire him for that?
509
00:24:12,392 --> 00:24:13,611
Well, he kept trying
to fit the bottles
510
00:24:13,694 --> 00:24:15,542
into the typewriter.
511
00:24:17,936 --> 00:24:21,309
[laughing]
512
00:24:24,334 --> 00:24:27,576
[theme song]
513
00:24:28,164 --> 00:24:31,040
♪ Welcome back ♪
514
00:24:31,123 --> 00:24:34,782
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
515
00:24:34,866 --> 00:24:37,003
♪ Welcome back ♪
516
00:24:37,086 --> 00:24:41,790
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
517
00:24:41,873 --> 00:24:46,228
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
518
00:24:46,311 --> 00:24:50,799
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
519
00:24:50,882 --> 00:24:52,888
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
520
00:24:52,971 --> 00:24:54,629
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
521
00:24:54,712 --> 00:24:56,588
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
522
00:24:56,671 --> 00:24:58,937
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
523
00:24:59,021 --> 00:25:02,984
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
524
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:04,896
♪ Welcome back... ♪♪
36857
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof