Original subtitles

Come on, Gabe, you promised.

I'll do it later.

Do it now.

Slave driver.

Did I ever tell you about my Uncle George?

No.

I don't want to hear about him, take the garbage out.

Well, the joke has to do with garbage.

All your jokes have to do with garbage.

[laughs]

My Uncle George had a way to get rid

of his garbage during the last garbage strike.

You wanna know what it was?

I'll tell you anyway.

He gift wrapped it and left it in the back

of his car.

[theme song]

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all changed since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained and they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back welcome back ♪♪

♪♪

Hey, Fredzo, how ya doing, buddy?

Freddie?

What are you doing sleeping out here?

Can't you wait till we get into class?

No, he ain't sleeping, I know what he's doing.

I used to do that.

I would pretend I was asleep in front of the TV set

so my mother would pick me up and put me to bed.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we all used to do that

when we was kids.

Kids? I did it last night.

Freddie, Freddie, come on.

Will you wake up?

Hey, you know, Freddie, it's a real good idea

to take care of your body.

Hey, you guys remember when I had that hangnail?

Oh, yeah, Vinnie, gave us a terrible scare.

I remember I had to bite it and file it, and soak it

try, I tried everything, then I finally had to go

to that manicurist.

What did she do?

She did everything.

Oh, man, we had such a good time.

I buffed her, she buffed me.

No, man, I'm alright, man, I'm alright, you know?

I'm just like this, 'cause I got some pills

from the doctor, you know?

Remember when I injured my knee playing basketball.

It's from a knee injury and the pills make me

kinda groggy, but I'm gonna snap out of it

in a minute, so you know, watch.

Yeah, but gee, Freddie, you hurt your knee

in that basketball game, well, last week it was!

Hi, guys.

How you doing, Mr. Kotter?

Isn't great, isn't it great living in New York

at this time of year?

I mean, the snow, it's so exciting.

Where else, what other city can you just wake up

every morning and go out there and face an adventure?

You guys are so lucky growing up in New York!

Living in the Big Apple!

I hate him on Mondays.

I can't help it, I just love the snow.

Great, why don't you come on over to my apartment

and shovel it out of my bedroom, huh?

Hey, Mr. Kotter, I've always been curious.

How do you keep your mustache warm

in weather like this?

I usually send it to Miami for the winter.

Come on, come on, we're gonna be late! Let's go!

Mush, you huskies! Let's go to school!

[barking]

Mush! Come on, Freddie, you coming in?

Yeah, I-I'm right behind you, man.

My leg's a little stiff.

Go ahead, I'm gonna catch up, go ahead.

Watch where you're going, man.

Stupid.

Man, what you guys doing here, man?

It's a bathroom, you want another hint?

Excuse me, Freddie, I don't mean to pry

but do you always take your shoe off when

you go to the bathroom?

My shoe was off, man, 'cause I have something in it.

- Alright? - Oh, yeah?

Well, I heard of getting pebbles in your shoe

but never Manila envelope.

Let me see what you got.

Hey, man, come on, man. Why don't you mind

your own business, man?

These-these is pills, vitamin pills

that the doctor prescribed me because I've been

feeling groggy.

Y'all got anymore questions?

Oh! Oh-oh! Oh-oh!

Oh! Oh-oh-oh!

Well, I'm sorry, I got a question.

Freddie, why don't you do what I do?

Just carry a Yogi Bear vitamin bottle with you.

They're so cute.

I wish ya'll guys stop tailing me all over the place.

Watch out.

Well, who's tailing you?

We're here on official business!

Yeah, that's right, ain't nobody tailing you.

What are we doing here?

Now, last week, we had a test.

I have the results of that test, but...

...I think it's better if I don't give it to you.

I think it's better if I have another test tomorrow.

I'm gonna ask you some questions

that may or may not be on the test.

Okay, who can tell me when the Treaty of Versailles

was signed?

Oh, I know Mr. Kotter, ask me, ask me.

I know, I know, go ahead, go ahead, ask me, ask me.

I know this one.

Well, when was it signed?

A long time ago.

A real long time ago.

The year that Freddie was so close to giving us

was 1919.

Right, right, right.

[school bell rings]

Man, I'll check you out, man, right on.

Freddie, can I see you a second?

I gotta go, man, I ain't got no time.

You be cool, right?

Catch y'all up.

Alright, sit down.

Sit down! Come on!

Alright, what's wrong with Freddie?

He hurt his knee, Mr. Kotter.

I know that, Arnold, that was last week.

Now what else is wrong with him?

Well, he ain't such a good dresser.

I think he's way too nice to girls

which I do not like.

Look, I see what's going on.

One minute he's nodding out in the school yard

the next minute he comes into class

he's climbing up the walls!

What do you call that?

Come on, Mr. Kotter, you know Freddie's

always been very excitable.

He's just got a lot of extra adrenaline.

Yeah, and he keeps it in his shoe.

Alright, now we're getting somewhere.

Keeps what in his shoe?

Vitamins.

Vitamins?

Come on, Arnold, I grew up in this neighborhood too.

Alright, alright.

So now you know.

So here it is, Mr. Kotter

straight from the horse's hip.

We was worried about Freddie too

so we followed him into the men's room

just as about he was ready to eat a pill.

That's circumstantial evidence, Juan!

Come on, Arnold Horshack!

You saw it with your own eyes!

Freddie says they're vitamins!

And I believe him!

That's 'cause you're stupid.

You don't know nothing about medicine.

I bet you don't even know how to bleed right.

Freddie says they're vitamins!

Freddie's never lied to me!

Why can't you guys have a little faith in your friends?

- Well, excu-u-use me! - Well, excu-u-use me!

I think you're right, I think Arnold's faith

is blinding him a little bit.

Guys, I gotta have a very serious talk

with Freddie.

You have any idea where I can find him?

Well, you could try the men's room.

You can't miss him.

He's the one with the shoe off.

- Hi, Freddie. - Hey.

Wh-what's happening Mr. Kotter?

How's it going with you, man?

Okay, I meant to ask you, how's your leg doing?

It's alright, man.

It's gonna be alright in a couple of days, yeah.

Oh, that's good.

Did I tell you when I was on the basketball team

I hurt my leg, too?

That's awful, man, what happened? What happened?

Bench collapsed.

They give you any medication for that?

Yeah, uh, the doctor, he gave me...

He gave me some pills, man

some pain pills, yeah.

Oh, yeah? They do any good?

Yeah, did the trick.

Alright, that's good.

You know, that's serious stuff, those pain pills.

Some people start taking them and, uh

they can't stop.

- Is that a fact? - Yeah.

And they get so down from those downs

that they gotta take something to get 'em back up.

You-you trying to tell me something, Mr. Kotter?

No, Freddie, I was hoping you were gonna

tell me something.

You crack me up, you know that, man?

All-all people your age crack me up.

You know why y'all crack me up, man?

'Cause y'all think if a dude takes one pill

that he's out stealing a TV set or something, right?

Maybe he's in school pretending he's taking vitamins.

Oh, wow, boy.

I never thought they'd squeal on me.

Freddie, they didn't squeal on you.

We're all very concerned about you.

Yeah, well, don't be concerned about me right now, alright?

Just get outta here right now!

Why, you expecting somebody?

Maybe a guy who's gonna sell you that one pill

you were talking about?

Freddie, when's the last time you looked at

yourself in the mirror?

You're a mess.

Why don't you just check yourself out, Mr. Kotter?

You are sticking your nose in business that

that ain't your concern. Check that out!

Forget my nose, come here, Freddie

look at your eyes. Look at yourself!

When's the last time you got any sleep?

Probably in my class.

Look, I know what I'm doing, alright?

And that's my business!

I took the pills 'cause they make me

feel better, alright?

Freddie, how long is that gonna last?

Look, I don't know how long that's gonna last

but that's my business, alright!

I don't be yelling at you for drinking

too much coffee, do I?

Yeah, but I don't stand in the men's room

waiting for someone to sell me coffee beans!

Look, Mr. Kotter, just get off my back.

Just leave me alone, alright? Just leave me alone!

Catch you later.

- Wait a minute, man! - Freddie, come on!

See what you did just now, man?

Freddie, I did you a favor.

Look man, don't do me no favors, man.

Just don't do me no favors.

Just get out of my face and get out of my life.

And I'm serious, you understand me?

I can't believe that Freddie.

He's really acting crazy.

I mean, he even embarrassed me

and that ain't easy.

I know, but that scene this morning, I mean

why would Freddie want to pick a fight

with a traffic light?

Well, he said, "Nobody tells Freddie Washington

when to walk!"

Where does Freddie get those vitamins?

I mean, could you get them at a regular drug store?

His pharmacist doesn't work out of a store.

He works out of his raincoat.

What's the matter, cafeteria closed?

Hey, Mr. Kotter, look, we don't know what to do.

Yeah, Freddie is really getting worse now.

I know, I tried to talk to him yesterday,

I got nowhere.

Yo, Mr. Kotter, if we don't do something fast

Mr. Woodman's sure to find out soon.

Come on, come on!

Woodman's never gonna figure that out.

I mean, the man's completely unaware of these

kinds of things!

Alright, Kotter, what's happening

with Washington?

Is he on some kind of pills?

What makes you say that?

This morning in the cafeteria

he planted his feet in a tray of peas

and shouted, "Ho-ho-ho, I'm the jolly Black Giant!"

And he came up to me and said

"What's happening in the valley, little sprout?"

I don't know what he's on

but whatever it is, he better get off it.

I mean, pills are trouble, Kotter!

They're as bad as dope!

Which reminds me, I gotta see Principal Lazarus.

Mr. Kotter, what are we gonna do?

Guys, Freddie's got a serious problem

he needs help.

But he needs professional help.

Well, look, Mr. Kotter, let's just keep

this in the family, you know?

Why don't you let us work on it ourselves?

Look, if you wanna do Freddie a favor

let somebody handle it who really knows

what they're doing.

Hey, Kotter's right, huh?

Let's go.

Okay, see you later.

Kotter's wrong.

Nobody knows Freddie like we know him

so we just gotta do something

we just gotta act fast, that's all there is to it.

Hey, I'm sorry, I just don't understand

any of this at all.

I mean, all of this fuss over a few lousy vitamins!

Maybe Freddie's just taking too many.

Well, I-I just wanna check something.

Did I call you "stupid" yesterday?

Yeah, you did.

Good, 'cause I hate to repeat myself.

Come on, let's go, we gotta act fast.

I got an idea.

He's never gonna notice.

Well, what are we gonna do?

♪♪

okay, Angie went to get Freddie.

Now, all you and I gotta do, Vinnie

we just gotta act like we took some of them pills.

Alright, but let's get this over with

real quickly, alright?

'Cause this pill popping business is bad

for my boy-next-door image.

If you was the boy next door, I'd move.

And remember, gentlemen, occupancy in that wash room

is limited to 64 people!

Hi, little Juan!

Hey, Vinnie!

Let's go surfing now, everybody's learning how

come on and safari with me!

Hey, come on, what's the matter

with you guys?

What are you, the poster boy for Whacko?

Come on now, mellow out.

Look, I ain't acting like him.

Well, you gotta act like something

'cause Freddie's gonna be here any moment

now what are you gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

Alright, I'm gonna be one of them

them druggie people, real dumb like, alright?

Give me drugs, give me drugs.

Give me drugs!

I like that, I like that.

Okay, I'm gonna act like I took an upper

and I took a downer, and I'm just gonna be going

sideways, you know?

You know, just like this, back and forth, you know?

Alright, right, right.

Hey-hoo, alright! What's happening, man?

Angie said you were looking for me, man

so like, tell me what's happening

'cause I got basketball practice, baby.

Forget basketball practice, Freddie.

Why don't you stay here and get high with the boys?

Give me drugs, give me drugs.

Give me drugs, give me drugs.

Hey, man, I didn't know y'all was getting high.

Come on, we got just as much right to get

stupid as you do.

Basketball! Basketball!

Horshack get's the ball!

He fakes to the left, he fakes to the right

he dribbles in place, he dribbles behind him.

He goes for that basket!

[clattering]

Hey, Arnold!

Arnold!

You're doing great!

You're doing real good.

Um, are you alright, Arnold Horshack?

Never felt better!

Ooohh.

I hope I didn't hurt the chair.

Ohhh.

Oh, my dear friend Mr. Basketball!

I hope you didn't run out of air!

He was a real groovy cat

until he lost his hair.

Oh, wow, no wonder he died.

He don't got no mouth.

Give me drugs!

Man, come on, y'all expect me

to believe that y'all took pills, come on.

I'm a doper!

Come on, look at my eyes.

Look at the pupils, ain't they related?

They look perfectly normal, sparking dullness.

Ha-ha-ha.

No, I'm a doper.

Give me drugs, give me drugs.

Alright, alright, alright.

Now, y'all guys, y'all can just

knock this off, knock it off, alright?

I'm not buying this snow drop.

I know y'all didn't take none of them pills.

Give me drugs, give me drugs.

Give 'em to me, give 'em up!

Alright, alright, alright.

Let's knock it off.

I mean, you can't fool a real doper

can you, Freddie?

Hey, look, man, y'all guys know

nothing about it, alright?

Yeah, well, I know this, one of these days

you're gonna have to get off them pills

and go cold duck.

That's cold turkey, turkey.

Whatever it is, it's for the birds.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I call your attention

to the center ring.

Arnold Horshack, the last of the Flying Horshacks!

Will now... Ha-ha-ha!

Will now attempt to walk the length of this

ledge here.

Come on, Arnold, knock it off now.

What ya say? That ain't daring

enough for you?

Well, I tell you what I'm gonna do.

Arnold Horshack is now going to jump

from Mr. Kotter's classroom into Ms. Fishbeck's classroom

across the court.

Alright, come on, come on, Arnold

knock it off.

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Let him do it, I wanna see it.

Okay, here I go!

Come on, Arnold, knock it off.

You're acting like a fool!

Wait a minute, I don't think he's acting.

Will you let me go, I know what I'm doing!

I got a right to jump, this is America!

I got freedom to jump!

Oh, jeez.

Arnold, Arnold!

Arnold, you alright, you alright, Arnold?

Oh, hi, Freddie.

I think I broke my jumper.

Hey, Arnold, I told you to knock it off.

Come on, the jig is up already.

Freddie knows we didn't take none of them pills!

Maybe you didn't, maybe you didn't, but...

Arnold, look at me, look at me, Arnold, look at me!

Look at me!

What-what you take, man?

Vitamins!

The same kinda ones that you take, Freddie.

I even got 'em from the same guy.

Arnold, Arnold, those wasn't vitamins.

Didn't you know that?

How's he supposed to know that

when you told him they were.

Look, Arnold, let's see if you can walk.

We'll take you over to the nurse.

Yeah, let me help you, Arnold.

No, don't help him!

Get your hands off him!

You done enough help already.

Come on!

Hey, I-I don't wanna go to the nurse

I wanna play circus.

That's alright, Arnold, we'll take you

to the nurse, we'll get you a nice

big balloon.

- Freddie. - Hey, Mr. Kotter.

What's happening?

I just came from the nurse's office.

In case your worried, Arnold's gonna be alright.

It was just a bruise.

Wow, uh, they told you what happened, huh?

Yeah, they told me everything that happened.

He trusted me, you know, Mr. Kotter?

I mean, he believed in me, and I let him down.

You're letting yourself down too, Freddie.

I guess I'm pretty stupid, huh?

You're not stupid if you realize

you gotta get off those things.

Yeah, but those guys, man.

They ain't gonna talk to me no more, man.

Freddie, they're gonna talk to you

they're your friends.

We got a real problem here, what do you think?

I tell you, Mr. Kotter, I think you could take

these pills and flush them down the toilet, alright?

I got a better idea, why don't you do it?

Alright, right on.

Stay cool, alright?

Catch you later.

See you tomorrow.

My Uncle Luther was not only a dietician

he was also an inventor.

What did he invent?

I'm glad you asked me.

He crossed a potato and a sponge.

What'd he get?

Well, whatever it is, it doesn't taste too good

but it sure soaks up a lot of gravy.

[theme song]

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all changed since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained and they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead you ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead you ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back welcome back ♪♪