Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,146 --> 00:00:03,369
- Listen to this one.
- Okay!
2
00:00:03,452 --> 00:00:06,000
My Uncle Leonard
bought an octopus.
3
00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:08,292
And my Aunt Sophie, she says,
"Why'd you buy an octopus?"
4
00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,140
He says, "Because I'm gonna make
a million dollars
5
00:00:10,159 --> 00:00:12,925
I'm gonna teach this octopus
to play the bagpipes."
6
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,254
Uh-huh.
7
00:00:14,337 --> 00:00:18,440
So he locks the octopus
in a room with the bagpipes
8
00:00:18,523 --> 00:00:20,726
and he checks an hour later
9
00:00:20,726 --> 00:00:23,598
to see if the octopus
is playing the bagpipes
10
00:00:23,669 --> 00:00:25,629
comes back outta the room,
my Aunt Sophie says
11
00:00:25,712 --> 00:00:28,512
"Well, was the octopus
playing the bagpipes?"
12
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:31,498
He said, "No, he was
making love to it."
13
00:00:35,167 --> 00:00:38,582
[theme song]
14
00:00:43,218 --> 00:00:45,529
♪ Welcome back ♪
15
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:49,489
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
16
00:00:49,572 --> 00:00:51,709
♪ Welcome back ♪
17
00:00:51,792 --> 00:00:56,627
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
18
00:00:56,710 --> 00:01:00,805
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
19
00:01:00,888 --> 00:01:05,351
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
20
00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:07,615
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
21
00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:09,399
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
22
00:01:09,482 --> 00:01:11,445
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
23
00:01:11,528 --> 00:01:13,577
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
24
00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:17,755
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
25
00:01:17,838 --> 00:01:20,018
♪ Welcome back ♪
26
00:01:20,101 --> 00:01:25,368
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪♪
27
00:01:34,768 --> 00:01:37,967
[indistinct whispering]
28
00:01:41,699 --> 00:01:43,341
What do you say, Judy?
29
00:01:43,424 --> 00:01:45,323
Will you sign our petition here?
30
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,866
Petition?
31
00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:49,767
What are you guys trying to do,
get one of the Sweathogs
32
00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:51,328
a stay of execution?
33
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:53,652
[laughing]
34
00:01:57,515 --> 00:02:00,038
Nah, it been two or
three semesters
35
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,884
since there was any Sweathogs
on death row.
36
00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:07,341
Oh, excuse me,
I gotta go to class.
37
00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:09,039
Sure.
38
00:02:09,122 --> 00:02:12,304
Right after you sign a petition
to can Mr. Woodman
39
00:02:12,387 --> 00:02:14,027
and get Mr. Kotter
as vice principal.
40
00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:15,429
Go on, sign it.
41
00:02:15,512 --> 00:02:18,153
But I like Mr. Woodman.
42
00:02:18,236 --> 00:02:20,650
You like Mr. Woodman?
43
00:02:23,564 --> 00:02:25,305
Nobody likes Mr. Woodman.
44
00:02:25,388 --> 00:02:28,811
Liking Mr. Woodman is
like, like liking gook.
45
00:02:31,617 --> 00:02:33,077
Oh, yeah?
46
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,281
Well, tough!
47
00:02:39,642 --> 00:02:42,545
- Alright, what's the deal?
- Hey, little Juan, hi, Vinnie!
48
00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:52,084
Alright, Freddie, how many
names you got so far?
49
00:02:52,167 --> 00:02:55,757
Well, that depends, how many
times am I allowed to sign?
50
00:02:58,922 --> 00:03:00,422
Good morning!
51
00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:07,998
[softly] Hey, how're you guys doing?
52
00:03:08,081 --> 00:03:10,508
Ah, that must be the famous
53
00:03:10,508 --> 00:03:13,184
"Kotter for Vice Principal"
petition.
54
00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:14,731
Oh?
55
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,553
You've heard about it?
56
00:03:17,636 --> 00:03:19,736
Heard about it, the entire
school knows about it.
57
00:03:19,819 --> 00:03:21,862
The nurses office
is filled with students
58
00:03:21,862 --> 00:03:24,233
Epstein persuaded to sign.
59
00:03:25,767 --> 00:03:27,678
That's my little Margie.
60
00:03:27,761 --> 00:03:30,169
[chuckles]
61
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:33,193
Ah, some of 'em just needed,
you know, a little incentive.
62
00:03:33,276 --> 00:03:37,359
Yeah, I saw the nurse putting an
icepack on somebody's incentive.
63
00:03:38,115 --> 00:03:41,500
Yeah. Mr. Kott-aire,
Mr. Woodman's contract is up.
64
00:03:41,583 --> 00:03:43,582
Yeah, a-and the school board,
they might not
65
00:03:43,665 --> 00:03:45,601
renovate the contract.
66
00:03:48,452 --> 00:03:50,171
Renew the contract.
67
00:03:50,254 --> 00:03:51,826
Yeah, renew, renovate,
reconcile
68
00:03:51,836 --> 00:03:53,671
it's all the same thing.
69
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:58,331
I have certain reason to believe
that a certain job was discussed
70
00:03:58,365 --> 00:04:01,747
with a certain Mr. Kott-aire?
71
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:07,030
Yeah, and you are that certain
Mr. Kott-aire.
72
00:04:08,719 --> 00:04:10,742
How do you guys know all this?
73
00:04:10,825 --> 00:04:13,366
Well, yesterday, Principal
Lazarus, he wrote out a memo
74
00:04:13,449 --> 00:04:14,951
and then he-he showed it
to Epstein.
75
00:04:14,971 --> 00:04:16,431
Habadababa!
76
00:04:17,955 --> 00:04:21,102
Principal Lazarus
showed it to Epstein?
77
00:04:21,186 --> 00:04:24,842
Yeah, more or less.
78
00:04:24,925 --> 00:04:29,408
It was sitting in the bottom
of his desk drawer and, uh...
79
00:04:29,466 --> 00:04:33,078
...you know old Jack Lazarus,
he stepped out for a moment.
80
00:04:33,117 --> 00:04:36,460
He obviously wanted me
to see it!
81
00:04:37,251 --> 00:04:40,253
Obviously. Alright, guys,
come on, sit down.
82
00:04:40,337 --> 00:04:43,901
Listen, I want to thank you
for thinking of me, but, uh
83
00:04:43,901 --> 00:04:47,605
I'm happy doing what I'm doing
and that's what I told Lazarus.
84
00:04:47,786 --> 00:04:50,724
Okay, now can we turn
to page 24, I wanted you...
85
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:52,228
Hi, hello, everybody.
86
00:04:52,311 --> 00:04:54,116
Uncle Woody here.
87
00:04:56,515 --> 00:04:59,539
Mind if I pop in for a sec?
88
00:04:59,855 --> 00:05:01,315
Oh, look!
89
00:05:03,122 --> 00:05:05,523
It's Pop'n Fresh.
90
00:05:10,626 --> 00:05:12,726
The Buchanan Doughboy.
91
00:05:15,892 --> 00:05:18,873
How exhilarating to be
the brunt of your jokes.
92
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,042
Can this be the same Mr. Woodman
who has dedicated his life
93
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:26,214
to the overthrow of laughter
and happiness?
94
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,308
[laughing]
95
00:05:29,013 --> 00:05:32,639
Another delightful bit of
ridicule at my expense.
96
00:05:32,722 --> 00:05:36,378
You know, boys,
it's time we got closer.
97
00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:39,471
What do you say I take you
to the Jets game on Sunday?
98
00:05:39,553 --> 00:05:42,236
The Jets are playing in Oakland.
99
00:05:45,604 --> 00:05:48,628
So, it's just
a five-day bus ride.
100
00:05:49,842 --> 00:05:51,931
Yeah, it'd be terrific,
five days on a bus.
101
00:05:52,014 --> 00:05:54,475
Bring along
an extra set of kidneys.
102
00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:56,920
[laughter]
103
00:05:57,003 --> 00:05:59,375
He ain't bussing me nowhere.
104
00:06:07,171 --> 00:06:08,631
Alright, boys.
105
00:06:09,112 --> 00:06:11,455
How about dropping
this silly petition?
106
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,660
No way, Mr. Kotter's gonna make
a great vice principal.
107
00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:17,363
What does Kotter have
that I haven't got?
108
00:06:19,885 --> 00:06:23,084
For starters,
more than one suit.
109
00:06:27,549 --> 00:06:30,032
Yeah, and he doesn't crawl
behind a rock twice a year
110
00:06:30,115 --> 00:06:31,790
to shed his skin.
111
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:34,736
Mr. Woodman, I...
112
00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:37,710
You know what's wrong
with you, Kotter?
113
00:06:37,794 --> 00:06:39,855
Ruthless ambition.
114
00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:42,736
Now, remember... power corrupts.
115
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:44,407
Look at me!
116
00:06:47,605 --> 00:06:50,368
Mr. Woodman,
I don't want your job!
117
00:06:56,532 --> 00:07:01,138
No, your sister has been asleep
for two hours already, Robin
118
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:05,724
you cannot stay up and see who
Johnny Carson's guest host is.
119
00:07:06,253 --> 00:07:09,339
No. You can't, I'm sorry, huh?
120
00:07:09,422 --> 00:07:11,616
- Hello, lefty!
- Hiya, honey.
121
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,126
And who's this?
122
00:07:13,209 --> 00:07:15,554
How're you doing, Robin Bobbin,
how're you doing?
123
00:07:15,554 --> 00:07:18,319
Wanna know how you feel today,
you feel okay?
124
00:07:18,402 --> 00:07:20,687
Oh, Julie, look,
you made the school newspaper.
125
00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:21,488
I did?
126
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,753
Yeah, right under
"Teachers are human too."
127
00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:24,943
Oh.
128
00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:28,086
"Everyone wished Mrs. Kotter
a speedy recovery after breaking
129
00:07:28,169 --> 00:07:31,589
her arm trying to act like
a teenager on a skateboard."
130
00:07:31,672 --> 00:07:32,910
Teenager?
131
00:07:32,993 --> 00:07:35,792
You know, I read today that
three orthopedic surgeons said
132
00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:37,354
that skate boarding's good.
133
00:07:37,437 --> 00:07:39,600
Yes, for their business.
134
00:07:39,684 --> 00:07:41,077
Julie, you gotta watch out
for those things, you know
135
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,022
my school insurance
only covers pregnancies, right?
136
00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:46,141
You mean if I carry this thing
around for nine months
137
00:07:46,224 --> 00:07:48,326
they'll pay for it?
138
00:07:48,586 --> 00:07:51,986
You'll need to go through
natural cast-off.
139
00:07:52,069 --> 00:07:55,572
Robin Bobbin, time to go
to sleep, let's go, come on.
140
00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,435
[Julie] Night.
141
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,779
- Hey, Julie?
- What?
142
00:08:00,883 --> 00:08:02,943
[Gabe] Julie, guess what happened
in school today?
143
00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:04,045
What?
144
00:08:04,128 --> 00:08:06,309
Guess what happened
in school today?
145
00:08:06,392 --> 00:08:07,852
What?
146
00:08:08,376 --> 00:08:10,211
What are you yelling about?
147
00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:12,981
The kids found out about
my meeting with Lazarus
148
00:08:13,064 --> 00:08:15,706
and they signed a petition
to get me to replace Woodman.
149
00:08:15,789 --> 00:08:16,783
Really?
150
00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:19,071
Really, those crazy kids.
151
00:08:19,155 --> 00:08:20,939
Well, what's so crazy about it?
152
00:08:20,939 --> 00:08:22,720
You know I told you last week
that I thought you'd make
153
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,645
a great vice principal.
154
00:08:24,728 --> 00:08:27,050
- You really think so?
- Sure.
155
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:28,633
All you have to know
how to do is say
156
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,998
"I'm gonna call your mother,"
in five different languages.
157
00:08:34,735 --> 00:08:36,237
There's more to it than that.
158
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,581
You gotta know how to say,
"I'm not gonna call your mother
159
00:08:38,664 --> 00:08:40,119
so get your hands off my neck."
160
00:08:40,202 --> 00:08:41,966
[Julie laughs]
161
00:08:42,049 --> 00:08:44,617
Anyway, what would Woodman do
if I took his job?
162
00:08:44,673 --> 00:08:46,292
But, you know, at least it would
give him more free time
163
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:48,311
to train his tarantula.
164
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,865
You know, I think I sort of...
165
00:08:52,948 --> 00:08:56,079
I'm used to Woodman,
he's comfortable
166
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,512
sort of like an old shoe.
167
00:08:58,595 --> 00:09:00,183
[laughs]
168
00:09:00,266 --> 00:09:02,368
Oh, I can understand it, honey,
but just think about
169
00:09:02,368 --> 00:09:03,729
what all the extra money'd do.
170
00:09:03,769 --> 00:09:06,429
I mean, we could pay off
some of these bills.
171
00:09:06,511 --> 00:09:08,694
Why are you always worried
about these bills?
172
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,954
Honey, I pay these bills
the same month they come in.
173
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,409
Different year, but same month.
174
00:09:16,029 --> 00:09:19,642
Oh, well, I didn't marry you
for your money anyway.
175
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,988
Julie, we're gonna be alright
as far as money goes.
176
00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:25,197
As long as the twins
pay their rent on time.
177
00:09:26,281 --> 00:09:27,381
You know what bothers me though?
178
00:09:27,464 --> 00:09:28,876
- What?
- The kids.
179
00:09:28,886 --> 00:09:30,645
I mean I'm always telling 'em,
"improve yourself."
180
00:09:30,727 --> 00:09:32,651
Mr. Kotter, big teacher,
improve yourself.
181
00:09:32,691 --> 00:09:34,611
Now, when I get my own
opportunity to do it
182
00:09:34,694 --> 00:09:36,566
I don't take advantage of it.
183
00:09:36,636 --> 00:09:38,921
Well, honey,
what are you gonna do?
184
00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:40,627
- I know what I'm gonna do.
- What?
185
00:09:40,628 --> 00:09:42,765
I'm gonna sign your cast.
186
00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:45,709
Now, there's a solution,
okay, here.
187
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:50,643
I'm gonna write something
really sexy.
188
00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:56,701
[chuckles] Okay, but you gotta take me
out to dinner first.
189
00:10:03,778 --> 00:10:05,116
Hello, Kotter.
190
00:10:05,199 --> 00:10:07,697
I'd like a word
with you before class.
191
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:08,740
Okay?
192
00:10:08,823 --> 00:10:11,760
It's about your plans
to oppose me for vice principal.
193
00:10:11,843 --> 00:10:13,424
Mr. Woodman,
that's not exactly true
194
00:10:13,506 --> 00:10:14,607
I've been trying to tell you...
195
00:10:14,607 --> 00:10:16,387
Kotter, do you think it's easy
to be vice principal?
196
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:17,270
I don't care.
197
00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:20,773
Let me tell you
what's involved in this job.
198
00:10:22,634 --> 00:10:24,675
You think I'm happy
doing this, Kotter?
199
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,819
I have to do this...
200
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,901
...three hours every day
201
00:10:30,984 --> 00:10:35,314
five days every week,
fifty weeks every year.
202
00:10:36,362 --> 00:10:37,745
Mr. Woodman, it doesn't matter!
203
00:10:37,828 --> 00:10:41,353
And besides that, Kotter, I have
to go to every basketball game
204
00:10:41,436 --> 00:10:45,679
every football game, to prove
to the school that I care.
205
00:10:46,136 --> 00:10:48,239
You have to have spirit, Kotter.
206
00:10:48,852 --> 00:10:51,222
I even have my own pom-poms.
207
00:10:52,805 --> 00:10:55,681
♪ Cock-a-locka cock-a-locka
won't you try? ♪
208
00:10:55,764 --> 00:10:58,668
♪ Get another goal for them
and take us high ♪♪
209
00:11:04,162 --> 00:11:07,332
That's great, Mr. Woodman,
can you do the splits too?
210
00:11:07,813 --> 00:11:10,250
Listen, I don't want your job.
211
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:14,618
Mr. Woodman, listen to me,
I don't want your job.
212
00:11:14,802 --> 00:11:15,762
Really?
213
00:11:15,845 --> 00:11:17,345
Really.
214
00:11:18,607 --> 00:11:21,611
Well, then why did you
make me crawl, Kotter?
215
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:23,855
I didn't make you crawl.
216
00:11:23,938 --> 00:11:27,062
Yes, you did, you embarrassed me
for nothing.
217
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,562
Mr. Woodman, I've been trying
to tell you for two days
218
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,808
that I don't want the job.
219
00:11:31,808 --> 00:11:34,008
Well, let me
tell you something, Kotter
220
00:11:34,091 --> 00:11:37,053
you wouldn't last two days
on this job!
221
00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:42,239
That's not exactly fair,
Mr. Woodman.
222
00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:44,843
I think that I would make
a good vice principal.
223
00:11:44,926 --> 00:11:48,642
I'm just, uh,
I'm happy being a teacher.
224
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,942
Come on, Kotter, face it, you're
scared to be vice principal
225
00:11:51,025 --> 00:11:56,093
takes real courage to ride herd
over 2000 rampaging ruffians.
226
00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:02,396
Alright, come on,
come in here!
227
00:12:02,479 --> 00:12:05,279
You don't have to sneak
around here, there's no secrets.
228
00:12:05,362 --> 00:12:07,277
Mr. Woodman, "riding herd"
is not the only way
229
00:12:07,325 --> 00:12:08,697
to be vice principal.
230
00:12:08,707 --> 00:12:10,966
In fact, I think there's
a much better way.
231
00:12:11,049 --> 00:12:13,309
Well, Mr. Kotter,
if you really believe that
232
00:12:13,392 --> 00:12:15,873
why won't you go after the job?
233
00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:18,517
Because he hasn't got the guts!
234
00:12:23,646 --> 00:12:27,627
Mr. Woodman,
tomorrow morning I'm gonna go
235
00:12:27,710 --> 00:12:29,625
down to the school board
and I'm gonna tell them
236
00:12:29,674 --> 00:12:32,280
I wish they would consider me
for the job of vice principal.
237
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,590
- Hooray!
- Alright!
238
00:12:33,673 --> 00:12:36,087
[cheering]
239
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,184
Okay, Kotter...
240
00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:42,370
...maybe you have the guts
241
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:45,046
but you haven't
got the pom-poms!
242
00:12:47,218 --> 00:12:50,138
♪ You asked for it you got it ♪
243
00:12:50,221 --> 00:12:51,896
♪ Vice Principal ♪♪
244
00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:54,368
[indistinct chatter]
245
00:12:58,085 --> 00:12:59,827
Julie, how'd I get
myself into this?
246
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:04,413
The kids pulling me one way,
Woodman pushing me another way.
247
00:13:04,496 --> 00:13:07,132
I'm not a man, I'm a pool toy.
248
00:13:07,858 --> 00:13:10,322
Look, honey, I know
you can do it
249
00:13:10,405 --> 00:13:12,580
the Sweathogs know
you can do it.
250
00:13:12,607 --> 00:13:14,410
Woodman's challenging you
to do it.
251
00:13:14,450 --> 00:13:17,432
The only one standing
in your way is you.
252
00:13:17,858 --> 00:13:19,120
What about the twins?
253
00:13:19,203 --> 00:13:21,283
Do they think I can do it?
254
00:13:21,366 --> 00:13:23,627
I'll go ask them.
255
00:13:24,862 --> 00:13:27,169
But I'm sure that they feel
the same way I do.
256
00:13:27,252 --> 00:13:30,393
Whatever you want
is okay with us.
257
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,180
Meanwhile I'm gonna go fix you
a nice cup of hot cocoa.
258
00:13:34,849 --> 00:13:36,309
Hmm.
259
00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:38,623
Vice Principal Kotter.
260
00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:42,506
Woodman's wrong,
power won't corrupt me.
261
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,689
Vice Principal Kotter.
262
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,174
Principal Kotter.
263
00:13:47,809 --> 00:13:49,511
Emperor Kotter.
264
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:52,908
King Kotter.
265
00:13:59,151 --> 00:14:01,288
[Freddie] Now, just, just in case,
just in case
266
00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:05,609
come on, hand me the ball,
I wanna see if I can do it.
267
00:14:08,629 --> 00:14:09,868
I'mma get it, just be patient.
268
00:14:09,951 --> 00:14:12,018
You was never good.
269
00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:28,463
Alright, class, settle down
here, settle down now.
270
00:14:31,289 --> 00:14:32,909
This here
271
00:14:32,992 --> 00:14:37,734
is the year 20,050
272
00:14:38,674 --> 00:14:40,349
and one of...
273
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:47,215
...one of the things
that we celebrate
274
00:14:47,292 --> 00:14:51,013
at this time of the year is...
275
00:14:55,183 --> 00:14:58,817
That's the third time
you've fallen asleep this week!
276
00:15:05,328 --> 00:15:06,724
What did you say?
277
00:15:06,807 --> 00:15:09,692
I said he's fallen asleep!
278
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:11,856
He fell in the creek?
279
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,339
Asleep, dog-gone-it!
280
00:15:14,422 --> 00:15:16,022
Sleep, sleep, sleep!
281
00:15:16,105 --> 00:15:17,911
Oh, sleep.
282
00:15:18,454 --> 00:15:21,826
[snoring]
283
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:31,252
His Highness,
the Vice Principal.
284
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,522
♪♪
285
00:15:48,653 --> 00:15:53,994
It's Vice Principal
Kotter-er-er-er-er.
286
00:15:54,104 --> 00:15:57,386
I told you to call me "King."
287
00:15:57,507 --> 00:15:58,629
Get down.
288
00:15:58,712 --> 00:16:01,796
- Hail to the king.
- Hail the king!
289
00:16:01,797 --> 00:16:04,191
- Hail, hail!
- Hail to the king.
290
00:16:04,274 --> 00:16:06,939
[indistinct chatter]
291
00:16:07,022 --> 00:16:08,882
Will you please stop
this groveling?
292
00:16:08,965 --> 00:16:11,859
You'll get runs in your
orthopedic stockings.
293
00:16:13,852 --> 00:16:16,894
Hey, you, kingie,
king, king, hey, you!
294
00:16:17,555 --> 00:16:21,103
When you gonna let me graduate?
295
00:16:21,186 --> 00:16:23,511
My dear Washington,
it's quite out of the question.
296
00:16:23,531 --> 00:16:25,997
We need you
for the basketball team.
297
00:16:26,017 --> 00:16:27,477
Basketball team?
298
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:31,603
I've been playing basketball
for 75 years.
299
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:32,769
I know.
300
00:16:32,852 --> 00:16:36,022
And don't you think it's time
you took a shower?
301
00:16:37,108 --> 00:16:40,524
[laughter]
302
00:16:43,139 --> 00:16:45,843
What did he say?
303
00:16:45,926 --> 00:16:48,646
I said, "Take a shower,
take a shower!"
304
00:16:48,729 --> 00:16:52,232
Why, is there one missing?
305
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,958
That is a old joke!
306
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:59,677
What do you want
from an old fool?
307
00:17:00,446 --> 00:17:02,141
[loud chuckling]
308
00:17:02,224 --> 00:17:04,226
[coughs]
309
00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:06,070
Stop this, stop this!
310
00:17:06,153 --> 00:17:09,756
You know I banished laughter
when I exiled Woodman.
311
00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:16,189
You banish laughter, then,
why'd you hire me?
312
00:17:16,273 --> 00:17:19,775
Simple. You're not funny.
313
00:17:21,697 --> 00:17:22,657
Horshack?
314
00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:24,222
Yes, sire?
315
00:17:25,703 --> 00:17:28,684
I have something very important
to discuss with you.
316
00:17:31,252 --> 00:17:35,450
Ah, congratulations, my son.
317
00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:39,119
I most certainly
am not your son!
318
00:17:39,202 --> 00:17:41,398
Isn't this
the Fairchild wedding?
319
00:17:42,927 --> 00:17:45,246
Lemme see that, this isn't
the Fairchild wedding
320
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,026
you're in the wrong dream,
that's the fourth dream
321
00:17:47,052 --> 00:17:48,674
to the left,
come on, get out of here.
322
00:17:48,674 --> 00:17:52,111
Sorry, this is the first dream
I've ever really been in.
323
00:17:54,389 --> 00:17:55,520
Where was I?
324
00:17:55,603 --> 00:17:57,484
Oh, yes, something important.
325
00:17:57,567 --> 00:18:00,613
Horshack, my spies tell me
there's a plot
326
00:18:00,650 --> 00:18:03,071
afloat to kill me.
327
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,668
Why shouldn't we kill ya?
328
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:09,822
You're getting to be
a real drag.
329
00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:12,320
[laughter]
330
00:18:16,984 --> 00:18:21,470
Yes and I'm going to be
the new vice principal.
331
00:18:21,553 --> 00:18:22,811
Never, never, never!
332
00:18:22,895 --> 00:18:25,310
You shall never be
vice principal!
333
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,554
As long as I am the king.
334
00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:31,063
Oh, yeah?
335
00:18:31,147 --> 00:18:33,928
Well, we'll put a fix to that.
336
00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:37,893
I used to be so good looking.
337
00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:47,379
Oh, yes, look who it is,
my charming daughters
338
00:18:47,379 --> 00:18:52,710
Robin and Rachel,
and my wife, The Fossil.
339
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:57,785
Tell me, who told you
you could buy a new dress?
340
00:18:58,674 --> 00:19:02,221
Had to have something to wear
to your execution, sonny.
341
00:19:03,082 --> 00:19:04,582
So!
342
00:19:08,143 --> 00:19:10,426
You're part of the plot too!
343
00:19:10,509 --> 00:19:14,189
No more uncle jokes for me,
just dead uncle jokes.
344
00:19:14,273 --> 00:19:16,855
[laughing]
345
00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:20,563
So everybody's a part of it,
all of you!
346
00:19:20,563 --> 00:19:25,086
Now, now, now,
don't look at it as a beheading.
347
00:19:25,169 --> 00:19:30,288
I want you to look at it
as a crash diet.
348
00:19:30,371 --> 00:19:31,831
Halt, fool!
349
00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:33,595
He's mine!
350
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,519
I've waited a long time
for this guy.
351
00:19:39,113 --> 00:19:43,898
You might have my job,
but you never had my pom-poms.
352
00:19:46,508 --> 00:19:48,950
♪ Cock-a-locka cock-a-locka
cock-a-locka cock-a-locka ♪
353
00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:50,604
♪ Cock-a-locka
cock-a-locka cock... ♪
354
00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:52,127
Excuse me, excuse me?
355
00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:54,434
Would you mind
speeding up the execution?
356
00:19:54,517 --> 00:19:57,454
This is the room
for the Fairchild wedding.
357
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:01,441
♪ Cock-a-locka cock-a-locka ♪♪
358
00:20:01,524 --> 00:20:07,024
No, no, no, no, no...
359
00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:09,943
No! No!
360
00:20:12,139 --> 00:20:17,639
No, no, no, no, no!
361
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:21,282
Honey, honey, wake up,
honey, Gabe, wake up.
362
00:20:21,365 --> 00:20:26,457
- Come on, wake up!
- Oh, oh, oh, Julie, oh, honey!
363
00:20:26,544 --> 00:20:29,486
- It's okay, it's all over.
- Oh, honey. Oh!
364
00:20:29,890 --> 00:20:32,913
Honey, I had
the worst dream, I wa...
365
00:20:32,996 --> 00:20:36,078
I was almost cock-a-locka'd
to death.
366
00:20:38,001 --> 00:20:40,840
It's okay, it's all over, honey.
367
00:20:40,924 --> 00:20:43,843
Oh, Julie,
I don't wanna be king.
368
00:20:43,927 --> 00:20:48,256
Oh, and I was just gonna have
your throne reupholstered.
369
00:20:49,713 --> 00:20:52,213
That's what I was trying
to tell myself in the dream.
370
00:20:52,296 --> 00:20:56,495
I don't wanna be vice principal.
You know it all makes sense.
371
00:20:57,893 --> 00:21:00,338
Except for that
Chinese minister.
372
00:21:05,647 --> 00:21:07,069
Hey, Freddie,
here's some more names.
373
00:21:07,152 --> 00:21:09,675
Right on, Arnold Horshack,
right on, Epstein.
374
00:21:09,695 --> 00:21:12,176
Right on, Vinnie Barba...
Alright!
375
00:21:12,259 --> 00:21:15,320
We got it here, we got them
things on the petition, you...
376
00:21:15,403 --> 00:21:16,725
- Good morning, good morning.
- Hey, Mr. Kotter.
377
00:21:16,725 --> 00:21:19,553
Hey, uh, Mr. Kot-taire,
our "Dump Mr. Woodman" campaign
378
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:22,051
is right on target,
we got enough signatures here
379
00:21:22,112 --> 00:21:24,155
to put you over the top.
380
00:21:24,175 --> 00:21:26,759
Fourteen-hundred
and seven names.
381
00:21:26,759 --> 00:21:29,951
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, and not counting forgeries.
382
00:21:30,034 --> 00:21:32,143
[laughter]
383
00:21:32,226 --> 00:21:34,448
- Mr. Washington?
- Sure, Mr. Kot-taire.
384
00:21:34,468 --> 00:21:38,080
Anything for you,
my man, Mr. VP.
385
00:21:38,147 --> 00:21:40,131
[Freddie laughs]
386
00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:41,707
Guys, I got something to say.
387
00:21:41,790 --> 00:21:43,250
- Yeah?
- Yeah?
388
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,038
I don't want
to be vice principal.
389
00:21:46,121 --> 00:21:47,496
- What?
- What?
390
00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:48,461
What?
391
00:21:48,544 --> 00:21:51,525
Woodman hijacked
the babies, huh?
392
00:21:53,706 --> 00:21:56,448
Look, this is how I figure it,
leaving a job
393
00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:59,331
that you really love for one
that pays more money
394
00:21:59,415 --> 00:22:01,935
isn't necessarily a promotion.
395
00:22:02,018 --> 00:22:06,391
I knew it, nobody ever gets
promoted outta this class.
396
00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:11,071
Vinnie, I think I, uh,
I better stick around
397
00:22:11,071 --> 00:22:12,811
and make sure you guys do.
398
00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:17,599
You know, that's kinda nice,
you not wanting to leave us.
399
00:22:20,101 --> 00:22:21,885
There you are, Kotter.
400
00:22:21,968 --> 00:22:24,551
Read it and weep, you and your
gang didn't move fast enough.
401
00:22:24,612 --> 00:22:26,548
The board never got
your petition.
402
00:22:26,631 --> 00:22:29,433
I've been renewed for two years.
403
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:32,294
Congratulations, Mr. Woodman,
they must've figured
404
00:22:32,378 --> 00:22:33,900
you're the best man for the job.
405
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:37,302
Well, you know, with Woodman
staying as vice principal
406
00:22:37,385 --> 00:22:40,021
we aren't gonna have
to change our graffiti.
407
00:22:43,192 --> 00:22:47,274
Mr. Jan from the school board
gave me the news himself.
408
00:22:47,358 --> 00:22:50,840
Oh, Mr. Jan?
Come in please.
409
00:22:54,888 --> 00:22:57,592
Mr. Jan, this is Mr. Kotter
410
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,358
unsuccessful candidate
for my job.
411
00:23:00,358 --> 00:23:02,800
Oh, Mr. Jan, nice to meet...
412
00:23:04,302 --> 00:23:07,523
You look, uh, very familiar.
413
00:23:07,606 --> 00:23:09,969
So do you, Mr. Kotter.
414
00:23:09,969 --> 00:23:13,251
Perhaps we met
at the Fairchild wedding?
415
00:23:13,633 --> 00:23:17,006
[theme music]
416
00:23:22,061 --> 00:23:24,482
Mr. Woodman,
we're in heaven, okay?
417
00:23:24,565 --> 00:23:26,223
We're in heaven?
418
00:23:26,306 --> 00:23:28,244
It's a joke,
we're in heaven, okay?
419
00:23:28,327 --> 00:23:29,529
Alright, we're in heaven.
420
00:23:29,612 --> 00:23:32,555
Okay, now there's two doors,
one door has a sign above it
421
00:23:32,638 --> 00:23:35,419
that says "Men that were
henpecked by their wives."
422
00:23:35,503 --> 00:23:37,203
The other door has a sign
above it that says
423
00:23:37,286 --> 00:23:38,619
"Men that were boss."
424
00:23:38,629 --> 00:23:40,409
Now there's a long line
of guys waiting
425
00:23:40,492 --> 00:23:42,072
to get into the door that says,
"Men that were
426
00:23:42,155 --> 00:23:43,313
henpecked by their wives."
427
00:23:43,397 --> 00:23:46,420
But there's only one guy waiting
to get into the door that says
428
00:23:46,503 --> 00:23:48,707
"Men that were boss."
429
00:23:48,791 --> 00:23:50,572
- One guy?
- One guy.
430
00:23:50,656 --> 00:23:52,921
So St. Peter comes
up to him and says
431
00:23:53,004 --> 00:23:55,791
"I wonder how come you're the
only guy waiting in this line?"
432
00:23:55,874 --> 00:23:59,722
And he says, "I dunno,
my wife told me to stand here."
433
00:24:00,197 --> 00:24:03,613
[theme music]
434
00:24:10,990 --> 00:24:13,884
[theme song]
435
00:24:18,258 --> 00:24:20,874
♪ Welcome back ♪
436
00:24:20,957 --> 00:24:24,791
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
437
00:24:24,874 --> 00:24:26,923
♪ Welcome back ♪
438
00:24:27,006 --> 00:24:31,841
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
439
00:24:31,924 --> 00:24:36,237
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
440
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:40,502
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
441
00:24:40,585 --> 00:24:42,809
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
442
00:24:42,892 --> 00:24:44,680
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
443
00:24:44,763 --> 00:24:46,726
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
444
00:24:46,809 --> 00:24:48,771
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
445
00:24:48,854 --> 00:24:53,036
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
446
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,299
♪ Welcome back ♪
447
00:24:55,382 --> 00:24:59,608
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
448
00:24:59,691 --> 00:25:01,784
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
449
00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:04,526
♪ Welcome back ♪
450
00:25:04,609 --> 00:25:05,915
♪ We always could... ♪♪
33712
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof