Original subtitles

[Gabe narrating] Alright class, pay attention.

Last week on part one, the Three Do's and the Don'ts

stunned the musical world by winning the semi-finals

of the State High School Talent Competition.

But back stage, love was waiting in the wings

when Vinnie met Cassy.

He took Cassy everywhere

into the audience, to the candy store

and back into the audience.

They were constantly together, alone.

Well, almost.

These are not happy Sweathogs.

They've learned Vinnie's quit their singing group.

He's refusing to compete against Cassy

who also made it to the finals

of the State Talent Competition.

Is their anger justified?

Is he doing the right thing?

Great lookin' lady.

Strange lookin' guy.

Stay tuned for part two of Barbarino in love.

And keep your eye on him.

You never know what he's gonna do

beside being cute.

[theme song]

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all changed since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained and they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back, welcome back welcome back ♪♪

[applauding]

Okay, let's get the dance part, let's get the dance part down

and let's try the next part, ready?

♪ My heart was a desert ♪

♪ With one lonely palm ♪

♪ 'Till I found an oasis ♪

♪ Right here in your arms ♪

Yeah. That's nice, whoa!

[Freddie] I can dance to it.

Well, uh... Wait just a minute.

It needs a little, a little polish.

But it was alright, what'd you think?

I've been waitin' 20 years to get my hands

on that trophy, Kotter.

Now, the only chance I've got is to follow the winner

home and mug 'em.

Ah, Barbarino, the man who...

...the man who deserted his friends.

What are you workin' alone now?

Vinnie Barbarino and his trained hair.

Hey, Mr. Woodman, Snow White called.

She said she's lookin' to hire a new dwarf.

Yeah, I wonder how much it pays.

How ya doin', Mr. Kotter.

How ya doin', Vinnie?

Hey look, guys, I think we gotta talk

because this cold shoulder stuff has gone far enough.

[snapping]

Mr. Kotter, tell 'em to listen to me.

Guys, Vinnie wants you to listen to him.

Now look, Mr. Kotter, you tell Vinnie that

the Three Do's don't want nothin' to do with no Don't.

Alright.

Vinnie, the Three Dudes don't wanna have nothin' to do

with no Don't.

You know, that's the first time I've ever seen

a Xerox machine with a mustache.

That's the first time he's seen a Xerox machine

with a mustache.

Anything else you guys want me to tell him?

Yes, Mr. Kotter.

Would you please tell Vincent that his three ex-colleagues

feel like a team of mountain climbers

inching their way...

...up the icy slopes of Mt. Everest

when suddenly, one of the members runs off

with a Sherpa guide.

Go 'head, go 'head, tell him, go 'head.

Okay.

Vinnie, your ex-colleagues feel like a team

of mountain climbers who are climbing up the--

Inching their way up.

Inching their way up the mountain.

The icy slopes.

Horshack, I don't believe you said, icy slopes.

Mr. Kotter, I said icy slopes.

If you don't believe me, ask little Juan here.

Little Juan, did he say icy slopes?

Well of course, he said icy slopes.

Matter of fact, I remember the climb distinctly.

My good friend Sir Lionel's last words were

"Icy slopes!"

Hi, ya guys.

Cassy, what are you doin' here?

You're not supposed to be here 'till tonight.

I came here to rehearse.

Well, what do you do for an encore?

Have Vinnie simonize your toe shoes?

You know somethin', Lassie?

Cassy.

- Cassy? - Her name is Cassy.

You know somethin', Cassy?

You shouldn't be no dancer.

You should be an animal trainer.

You already got Vinnie jumpin' through your hoops.

Why don't you guys come over here and say that?

Now why don't you go over there and say it?

Come on, come one, let's cool it over here.

What did I do?

Vinnie, what are they talkin' about?

- What do they mean? - They don't mean nothin'.

What does anything mean?

What... what does the trees mean?

What does the leaves fallin' to the ground mean?

What does the ground mean?

Oh, wise one, I've always wondered

what do my shoes mean?

See, now, I can't figure out what your shoes mean

'cause I have a problem figuring out what my laces mean.

Mr. Kotter, what's going on?

Well, Cassy, you know, after Vinnie quit the group the--

What? You quit the group?

Mr. Kotter, you got a bigger mouth than the Delores Sky.

Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed that you told her.

I was savin' it, it was gonna be a big surprise for her.

Vinnie, why did you quit the group?

You know what I gotta do?

I gotta check and see if the costumes arrived.

They weren't here before, so I'll check the...

I'll... I'll... See ya later.

What I did for you is the best thing I done for anybody

in my whole life.

Best thing.

Except for my mother.

On my mother's birthday, you know what I bought her?

I bought her one of those toasters with...

...in the shape of praying hands.

All you gotta do, you gotta just take a piece of bread

you put it in between the palms.

And it comes out light and toasty, each one.

Vinnie, why did you quit the group?

I quit for you.

'Cause I figured that, you know, with me out of the way

you'd have a better chance of winning.

Oh, I see.

You didn't think I could win on my own, huh?

Well, come on, Cassy, I mean you're talkin' to me

Vinnie Barbarino.

Look, you should be happy that I quit.

Happy, the guys hate me, Vinnie!

Is that supposed to make me happy?

And look at you.

You don't even have enough faith in me

to compete with me honestly.

I thought you were beginning to understand.

Oh, forget it.

I don't understand it, Mr. Kotter.

First... first I lose my friends, and now I lose my girlfriend.

I'm so depressed.

Hey, Lou, give me another egg cream.

Don't you think you've had enough?

It's alright, Lou, I'm driving.

I'm sorry, teach, I gotta cut him off.

He's had six already.

It don't matter how many I get.

You know, I don't even care if I carbonate myself to death.

Matter of fact, I'd like to turn into one big bubble and pop.

Vinnie, let me try and explain it to you one more time, okay?

- Alright. - I'll so it this way.

Let's say these three glasses here are the Sweathogs alright?

Alright, now, which one is Horshack?

What difference does it make which one is Hors...

This one is Horshack, okay?

Alright, but now wait, that don't look like Horshack.

That looks more like Epstein.

It's Epstein, okay?

Now, who's this?

That's Washington.

And who's this?

Alright, that's Horshack.

Okay, Epstein, Washington and Horshack, you got it?

Yeah, alright, now let me take a picture of it.

Alright, now these three guys...

Alright, but wait a minute, I gotta take a picture

in my mind.

It takes time to develop.

It takes five seconds.

- One, two-- - Will you cut that out?

Now, let's say that this napkin here is Cassy, okay?

Get your hands off my chick.

Vinnie.

Alright, I'm listening, I hear you.

Alright, your napkin is Cassy, and you are...

...let's say you're this spoon right over here, okay?

Alright, I'm a spoon.

No, I'm not a spoon, I'm no spoon!

I'm a maraschino cherry.

Why?

Why?

Because I'm sweet, and I always come out on top.

[laughing sarcastically]

Alright, you're a cherry.

Okay, that's you, you're a cherry.

Now, listen to me.

These three glasses over here are mad at the cherry

because the cherry disappointed them for the napkin.

Now, on the other hand, the napkin is also mad

at the cherry because the cherry refuses to treat

the napkin like a person.

Well, maybe the cherry don't know about napkins' lib.

Vinnie, look, what I'm tryin' to say is very simple.

When you quit the group, you disappointed your friends.

I mean you really disappointed the guys.

And you also insulted Cassy.

I didn't insult Cassy.

The cherry did.

[laughing]

When you make a commitment to somebody you care about

it's important that you keep that commitment.

Alright, already.

Keep the commitment.

I just ate myself.

Hi, Mr. Kotter.

Hi, guys, how ya doin'?

- Mr. Kotter. - How are you?

How's ya shakin'?

Okay.

Vinnie?

Here's the new trio.

Why don't you go over there and make it a quartet, huh?

Go 'head?

Hey guys, there's somethin' I wanna tell you.

Why don't you tell them?

Vinnie, you gotta do this for yourself.

Go ahead.

Alright, I just wanna say that I'm really sorry

about everything that happened.

What?

What are you saying, what?

Is he talking?

I just wanna say that I'm really sorry.

We can't hear you?

- What are you saying? - Speak up, troops.

I wanna say that I'm sorry about everything that happened.

I'd like to be Don't again.

Just like that, huh?

What do you want me to do, roll over like dog

beg and lick your faces?

I'm not that mad at you, Vinnie.

I mean, you don't gotta lick my face.

Alright, guys, what do you think?

♪ Do ♪♪ Do ♪

♪ Do ♪♪ Don't ♪♪

I don't know.

One more time.

Don't... oh, I'm not good anymore.

We gotta conference. Just check it all in.

[blabbering]

That's close enough!

What are they so happy about?

Mr. Woodman, I think you got a shot at that trophy.

Vinnie's back in the contest.

No, no he's not.

What are you talkin' about?

Yeah, what are you talkin' about?

The judges found out the original act broke up.

But Mr. Woodman, we back together now.

So is the king family.

They're not workin' either.

You've been disqualified.

Lou, I'm no good, I'm a crumb.

I deserted my friends.

Now they can't be in the contest.

Don't worry about it, Vinnie.

Mr. Kotter will make the judges change their mind.

But I don't deserve for them to change their minds!

I don't deserve anything.

Where are my Rolaids?

Come on, come on, come on, take it easy, relax!

- Take it easy. - Hey, hey.

Oh, Vincent, what's done is done.

Stop beating yourself with a dead horse.

But I'm no good.

Look, look, guys, I deserted you guys for a girl.

But what did I care at the time?

I didn't care nothin'.

Ha, ha, cried my laughin' heart.

Don't listen, fellas. That man is a raving maniac.

I'm a crumb.

Yes, I'm a crumb, I'm nothin'.

Okay, alright, Vincent, alright, alright, Vinnie.

We're convinced.

You're a crumb, you're nothin'.

Now, you alright?

Yeah.

Alright guys, you've been takin' up my best booth

for four hours.

Now, come on, I got the theater crowd comin' in.

Oh, yeah, what three usherettes and the projectionist?

[laughing]

Hello, hello, hello, hello.

- Hey, Mr. Kotter. - Hey, Mr. Woodman.

What did the judges say, what did they say?

Well, they were gonna replace you with a guy

from Morris High in the Bronx.

He crack walnuts to the tune of "Lady of Spain, I Adore You."

- So, what happened? - Yeah.

Well, we were in there for two solid hours.

We used every argument we could think of

the American way, fair play, baseball, apple pie, Chevrolet.

We even threw in kosher hot dogs.

So, so, like what happened after you finally stopped

blabbin' with them judges?

What happened?

Well guys, the judges rescinded.

Wait, wait.

What's rescinded mean?

You're back in the contest!

[cheering]

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

You know, Vinnie, I'm really glad you changed your mind

about the contest.

I want you to know that no matter what happens tonight

this past week with you has been really wonderful.

Oh, now someone told you to say that.

Yeah, you.

And I'm supposed to be the funny one, sit down.

Well, I'm learnin'.

Alright, now I wanna ask you something, Cassy?

Now, out of the whole week, out of the whole week

that we spent together, what did you like the best?

Oh, I don't know, there was so much.

Alright, was it the time we went to see Uncle Sal?

That was interesting.

I've never been inside a prison before.

No, no, that wasn't Uncle Sal, that was Uncle Tony.

Uncle Sal, remember, he was the one at the home?

The one with the curly hair.

And he was rolled up in a corner.

He kept on yellin' out, kangaroo, kangaroo.

Why does he say kangaroo?

Listen, it's better than what he used to say.

Oh, here they come. Let's get ready.

Oh.

I wanted to tell you, um, I'm gonna be real sorry

when it's all over.

Oh, now, Cassy, you don't know for sure that I'm gonna win yet.

No, no, no, I don't mean that.

But, you know somethin'?

I really hope you do win tonight.

Hey, Cassy, I already did win.

I met you.

[piano music]

[applauding]

How was that?

It was great, babe.

It was beautiful.

Well, well, I found your pirouette somewhat lacking

in experience.

Hey, um, baby, um, I would say that you was rather good,

but Tina Turner ya ain't.

I guess they liked me, huh?

Like you, why your plies were wonderful.

Horshack, keep your eyes off her plies.

And now, representing Buchanan High School

our final entry, Three Do's and a Don't.

Good luck.

Oh, good luck.

Oh, good luck.

[Cassy] Good luck, you guys.

♪ My heart was a desert with one lonely palm ♪

♪ One ♪

♪ 'Till I found an oasis right here in your arms ♪

♪ How does he do that?

♪ Don't keep turning me on when I know you're tellin' me lies ♪

♪ Do do do do do ♪

♪ Don't tell me this is love ♪

♪ Because you're in for a surprise ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Why don't you listen to me sweety baby ♪

♪ When I tell you, I know it's love ♪

♪ What makes you think I'm gonna be there ♪

♪ When you come knock knock, knockin' at my back door baby ♪

♪ Do do do do ♪

♪ Don't you remember how I pleaded for your love ♪

♪ Now now now now now I remember all the hurt ♪

♪ When I gave my heart a shot ♪♪

Alright, alright!

[applauding]

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[cheering]

♪ Do do do do ♪

♪ Stay with me baby 'cause I really love you ♪

♪ And that's where it's at ♪

♪ Do do do do ♪

♪ Do do do do do do da ♪♪

[cheering]

[bird calling]

Do you believe that?

That guy does those dumb bird calls, he wins everything.

Yeah, well I think he got the judge's sympathy

when he fell off his perch.

You're not disappointed, are you?

Well, maybe a little.

How 'bout you?

Me, Vinnie Barbarino?

No, yeah.

- Cassy. - Vinnie.

Alright, you go first 'cause you're the lady.

You're terrific.

Oh, I shoulda gone first 'cause that's exactly

what I was gonna tell you.

[laughing]

Well, you say it second.

It'll still count.

Alright, you're terrific.

Thanks.

Now, tell me why.

Don't make me.

Go on, go on.

Don't make me tell you why.

Alright, you see

all the girls I went out with, I ended up with nothin', right?

But with you, I got somethin'.

Even though it wasn't what I wanted.

No, I mean it was what I wanted

but like I didn't... I didn't know I wanted it.

Do you know what I mean?

I know exactly what you mean.

You do?

Yeah, and I'm gonna take a lot of special memories

home with me.

You sound like a Hallmark card.

Maybe I'll come up and visit you on spring vacation.

Yeah, maybe.

Spring's a long way off, you know.

So, I'll call you.

You better.

You know, you're really special, Vinnie.

I know that.

I think you're special, too.

I know.

Well.

- Hey, Vinnie. - Vinnie.

Hey, guys.

How ya doin'?

You alright?

You sure?

Hey, think about it, Vinnie, it could've been worse, you know?

You might've never met her.

You know what's funny, Mr. Kotter?

People come into your life, and then they go out of your life.

It's so stupid.

Yeah, I know, Vinnie, that's how it is sometimes.

Nice goin', you rejects from the gong show.

You're losin' to a guy that does bird calls.

I'll give you a bird call!

You know, Vinnie, what you were just sayin'?

I'll tell you what's worse than that.

Some people come into your life, and they stay there.

Lou, I got a story to tell you.

Listen to this.

Gabe, when you was a kid and you used to come in here

and tell jokes, I thought it was just a phase

you were goin' through, like some kids.

Some kids have pimples, some demonstrate.

You told stupid jokes.

No, no, listen, you're gonna like this one.

It's really cute.

What does one mouse do if another mouse is drowning?

What?

He gives it mouse to mouse resuscitation.

[theme song]

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all changed since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained and they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? ♪

♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪♪