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1
00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:03,382
Honey, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Bart?
2
00:00:03,465 --> 00:00:04,680
Bart Kotter?
3
00:00:04,763 --> 00:00:07,386
Yes, Bart Kotter,
the famous prospector.
4
00:00:07,469 --> 00:00:10,250
One time he was prospecting
for gold with his friend Jesus
5
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:12,972
and his friend Jesus
gets bitten by a rattlesnake
6
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:14,327
right on the foot!
7
00:00:14,337 --> 00:00:16,420
- The foot!
- Yes.
8
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:19,623
So he says, "Bart,
you gotta help me
9
00:00:19,623 --> 00:00:21,843
"I got bitten by a rattlesnake
right on my foot.
10
00:00:21,925 --> 00:00:24,169
Go get a doctor quick,
do somethin'!"
11
00:00:24,189 --> 00:00:25,370
What did Bart do?
12
00:00:25,410 --> 00:00:27,653
Bart rides into town to get
a doctor and the doctor said
13
00:00:27,673 --> 00:00:30,113
"I can't go now, I've got to
deliver a baby this afternoon.
14
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,396
"I'll tell you
what you do though
15
00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:32,879
"you gotta cut open the wound
16
00:00:32,879 --> 00:00:34,859
"and you gotta suck out
all the poison
17
00:00:34,942 --> 00:00:37,179
otherwise your friend
is gonna die."
18
00:00:37,262 --> 00:00:38,203
My, my.
19
00:00:38,286 --> 00:00:41,367
So, Uncle Bart rides back there
and Jesus is there and he says
20
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:43,467
"Hey, Bart,
did you see the doctor?
21
00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,953
"What are we gonna do about
the rattlesnake bite on my foot?
22
00:00:46,036 --> 00:00:47,437
What did the doctor say?"
23
00:00:47,437 --> 00:00:51,622
and Bart says, "Doctor said
you're gonna die."
24
00:00:58,277 --> 00:01:00,692
[theme song]
25
00:01:01,672 --> 00:01:04,679
♪ Welcome back ♪
26
00:01:04,762 --> 00:01:08,421
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
27
00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,641
♪ Welcome back ♪
28
00:01:10,724 --> 00:01:15,211
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
29
00:01:15,294 --> 00:01:19,703
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
30
00:01:19,786 --> 00:01:24,230
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
31
00:01:24,313 --> 00:01:26,319
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
32
00:01:26,402 --> 00:01:28,277
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
33
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,323
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
34
00:01:30,406 --> 00:01:32,368
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
35
00:01:32,451 --> 00:01:36,720
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
36
00:01:36,803 --> 00:01:39,027
♪ Welcome back ♪
37
00:01:39,110 --> 00:01:44,637
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
38
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:55,657
You ready, my man?
Yeah? You ready?
39
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,060
Freddie is ready also.
40
00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:58,408
Okay, here we go.
41
00:01:58,491 --> 00:02:00,182
♪ Shada-dada dig dig dig ♪
42
00:02:00,265 --> 00:02:01,187
Hold it, hold it
43
00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:02,672
This is the part
where I'm supposed to sing
44
00:02:02,732 --> 00:02:03,894
"Dig, dig, dig"
all by myself.
45
00:02:03,894 --> 00:02:05,200
No, it ain't
because you ain't been doing
46
00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:07,176
the "Dig, digs" right, you dig?
47
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:08,745
It doesn't sound
like much to me.
48
00:02:08,803 --> 00:02:10,683
- What are you talking about?
- This is gold here!
49
00:02:10,766 --> 00:02:12,349
It's not the digs,
it just lays there.
50
00:02:12,389 --> 00:02:14,151
It gotta set in the groove,
be hep
51
00:02:14,151 --> 00:02:16,651
hoppa, hoppa, floy, floy.
52
00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:19,918
Floy, floy?
53
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:21,901
Hey, Mr. Woodman,
this is for the city
54
00:02:21,984 --> 00:02:27,833
semi-final talent competition
not for the over-30 crowd.
55
00:02:27,834 --> 00:02:28,875
Well, you guys better be good
56
00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:30,137
the competition's
in three hours.
57
00:02:30,197 --> 00:02:32,419
Well, don't worry, Mr. Woodman.
58
00:02:33,922 --> 00:02:36,946
We'll grab 'em
by the floy floys.
59
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:40,714
Freddie is ready, here we go.
60
00:02:40,797 --> 00:02:42,752
♪ Shada-dada dig dig ♪
61
00:02:42,835 --> 00:02:46,164
Gabe come on,
we don't want to be late.
62
00:02:46,282 --> 00:02:47,782
Honey.
63
00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:52,411
Rachel went to sleep
an hour ago
64
00:02:52,428 --> 00:02:54,351
but Robin doesn't
like the babysitter.
65
00:02:54,371 --> 00:02:56,912
She says Esther's weird.
66
00:02:57,454 --> 00:02:58,453
Esther's right
in the other room
67
00:02:58,536 --> 00:03:00,998
she's gonna hear you.
68
00:03:01,219 --> 00:03:03,799
Did you explain to Robin
that Esther took care of you
69
00:03:03,882 --> 00:03:05,104
when you were a baby?
70
00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:06,907
I know, that's what I told her.
71
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,889
But she says that's
what's makin' her nervous.
72
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,333
Come on, honey,
give Robin back to Esther.
73
00:03:12,353 --> 00:03:14,853
We don't want to be late
for the talent contest.
74
00:03:14,936 --> 00:03:17,620
Come on, Robin bobbin',
time to go to sleep.
75
00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,775
Come on, let's go.
76
00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:24,352
You know,
I still cannot believe
77
00:03:24,352 --> 00:03:26,452
the Sweathogs made it
to the semi-finals.
78
00:03:26,535 --> 00:03:27,675
Julie, how could they miss?
79
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:31,796
They were so great in
the bathing suit competition.
80
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,022
Besides,
it's not the Sweathogs.
81
00:03:34,105 --> 00:03:36,629
Oh, how could I forget,
"Three do's and a don't."
82
00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:39,009
Where did they ever come up
with that name?
83
00:03:39,092 --> 00:03:40,371
Vinnie's idea.
84
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,354
I think it was the answers
he got from his girlfriends
85
00:03:42,437 --> 00:03:44,037
on Friday night.
86
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:44,920
Get it?
87
00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:46,858
- I got it.
- Good.
88
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,680
I'm gonna give Esther some
last-minute instructions.
89
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,278
- Be right back.
- Honey!
90
00:03:50,281 --> 00:03:52,203
You have given her
all the instructions she needs.
91
00:03:52,203 --> 00:03:55,083
You have told her to make sure
the door is double locked
92
00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:56,327
to pull down the curtains
93
00:03:56,327 --> 00:03:57,845
and you've made her
memorize the numbers
94
00:03:57,928 --> 00:04:00,931
of the fire department,
the police, and the FBI.
95
00:04:01,011 --> 00:04:04,666
Okay, but what, just what if
a helicopter lands on the roof
96
00:04:04,714 --> 00:04:06,513
and a regiment
of armed Vulcans come over
97
00:04:06,596 --> 00:04:08,417
and take siege
of this apartment, huh?
98
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,658
- What if that happens?
- Come on.
99
00:04:09,658 --> 00:04:12,020
It could happen, you know,
Vulcans are all over the place.
100
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,381
I know they are, let's go.
101
00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:15,423
- You don't care about this.
- I don't care about this.
102
00:04:15,443 --> 00:04:17,705
Watch out for the Vulcans,
Esther!
103
00:04:20,587 --> 00:04:22,871
[shouting]
104
00:04:29,595 --> 00:04:31,475
Mr. Woodman,
when are the guys going on?
105
00:04:31,558 --> 00:04:33,500
They're going after this guy.
106
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,960
Who's he?
107
00:04:36,002 --> 00:04:39,592
Says here, "Number seven
Eugene 'blowfish' Bigalow."
108
00:04:41,287 --> 00:04:44,912
He's a novelty act
from Erasmus High School.
109
00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:46,878
What's he doing?
He's just standing there.
110
00:04:46,961 --> 00:04:50,184
No, he's not,
he's holding his breath.
111
00:04:51,087 --> 00:04:52,546
Yeah?
112
00:04:53,115 --> 00:04:55,770
He's been doing it
for 70 seconds
113
00:04:55,854 --> 00:04:58,490
he's gone from white
to red to blue.
114
00:04:59,859 --> 00:05:01,959
A very patriotic act, Kotter.
115
00:05:02,445 --> 00:05:04,423
If he doesn't
win the contest
116
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:07,142
he can find work
as an inner tube.
117
00:05:16,344 --> 00:05:17,804
Three Do's.
118
00:05:18,872 --> 00:05:21,268
Three Do's, one, two, three,
and a Don't.
119
00:05:21,351 --> 00:05:23,128
Featuring Vinnie Barbarino.
120
00:05:23,211 --> 00:05:24,390
♪ Do ♪♪ Do ♪
121
00:05:24,473 --> 00:05:27,062
♪ Do ♪♪ Don't ♪♪
122
00:05:29,326 --> 00:05:30,567
Very catchy.
123
00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:33,871
So, how do you like
these snappy outfits?
124
00:05:33,954 --> 00:05:39,434
They're 10 percent polyester
125
00:05:39,435 --> 00:05:45,006
Twenty percent glitter,
and 70 percent rented.
126
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:47,320
Alright, get your act together.
127
00:05:47,404 --> 00:05:48,863
This is the first chance
Buchanan's had
128
00:05:48,946 --> 00:05:51,145
at the city championship
since '54
129
00:05:51,228 --> 00:05:53,748
when Crazy Delaney played
three musical instruments.
130
00:05:53,832 --> 00:05:55,592
Yeah, so...
131
00:05:56,935 --> 00:05:58,994
What's so difficult about that?
132
00:05:59,077 --> 00:06:01,714
He never took them
out of the case.
133
00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:04,334
Ah, don't you worry,
Mr. Woodman
134
00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:08,240
when we win, you're gonna be
the first person we brush off.
135
00:06:08,241 --> 00:06:11,121
Hey, not me, Mr. Woodman.
136
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:15,428
When I buy my estate, you're
gonna be my lawn ornament.
137
00:06:17,737 --> 00:06:19,418
Who would have thought
that all of my hopes
138
00:06:19,501 --> 00:06:22,447
would be ridin'
on Three Do's and a Don't.
139
00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:23,796
♪ Do ♪♪ Do ♪
140
00:06:23,879 --> 00:06:25,189
♪ Do ♪♪ Don't ♪♪
141
00:06:25,272 --> 00:06:27,818
No, no, no, no!
142
00:06:29,792 --> 00:06:31,803
Hey, guys,
I think you're on.
143
00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:34,711
Blowfish just passed out.
144
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,237
So, now,
ladies and gentlemen
145
00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:42,003
we bring you our last entry
in the citywide semi-finals.
146
00:06:42,003 --> 00:06:44,827
From Buchanan High School,
Three Do's and a Don't.
147
00:06:44,847 --> 00:06:46,947
Featuring Vinnie Barbarino.
148
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:49,713
- What's he sayin'?
- Alright, alright, alright.
149
00:06:49,714 --> 00:06:52,842
Look, come on, come on,
go out there, get on!
150
00:06:52,843 --> 00:06:54,671
Wait, wait, we can't go on,
we can't go on.
151
00:06:54,671 --> 00:06:55,457
Why not?
152
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,387
I gotta go to the bathroom.
153
00:06:57,387 --> 00:07:00,274
Get out there!
154
00:07:00,357 --> 00:07:02,642
[cheering]
155
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,344
Before we start,
I have to say
156
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,705
thank you, thank you,
thank you very much.
157
00:07:09,788 --> 00:07:12,991
I really appreciate it,
you beautiful, beautiful people.
158
00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:14,473
Beautiful.
159
00:07:16,278 --> 00:07:19,181
How come they're just sitting
there? They're not applauding.
160
00:07:19,584 --> 00:07:22,279
They're supposed to applaud
after the act.
161
00:07:22,362 --> 00:07:24,386
Oh, that's right.
162
00:07:24,469 --> 00:07:28,843
Okay, Mr. Piano-type man person,
hit it!
163
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,498
[piano trills]
164
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:36,586
♪ I don't care
what the weather man says ♪
165
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:41,743
♪ When the weather man says
it's raining ♪
166
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:47,601
♪ You never hear us
complaining ♪
167
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,690
♪ Complaining ♪
168
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:55,997
♪ 'Cause I'm certain
the sun will shine ♪
169
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:07,360
♪ Jee jee jee-jee jee ♪
170
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:10,668
♪ Jee jee jee-jee jee ♪
171
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,758
♪ Jee jee ah-jee-jee jee ♪
172
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,673
♪ Hubda hubda hubda hubda ♪
173
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:18,066
♪ Jeepers creepers ♪
174
00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:19,609
Jeepers, creepers!
175
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,243
♪ Where'd you get
them peepers ♪
176
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:22,594
Where'd you get those peepers?
177
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:26,031
♪ Jeepers creepers ♪
178
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:31,036
♪ Where did you get
those eyes ♪
179
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:34,561
♪ Golly gee no hope for me ♪
180
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:37,782
♪ When you start to turn
those heaters on ♪
181
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:41,002
♪ Can't you see
oh woe is me ♪
182
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:45,371
♪ I got to put
my neat-o cheaters on ♪
183
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,030
♪♪
184
00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:18,111
♪ Golly gee no hope for me ♪
185
00:09:18,194 --> 00:09:21,506
♪ When you start to turn
those heaters on ♪
186
00:09:21,588 --> 00:09:24,770
♪ Can't you see
oh woe is me ♪
187
00:09:24,852 --> 00:09:28,208
♪ I gotta put
my neat-o cheaters on ♪
188
00:09:28,290 --> 00:09:30,035
♪ Dig dig dig ♪
189
00:09:30,118 --> 00:09:33,822
♪ Jeepers creepers ♪
190
00:09:33,905 --> 00:09:36,867
♪ Where'd you get
those peepers ♪
191
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:39,872
♪ Oh those weepers
yeah yeah those creepers ♪
192
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,309
♪ Where... ♪
193
00:09:43,392 --> 00:09:47,271
♪ Did you get those... ♪
194
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,767
♪ Eyes ♪♪
195
00:10:12,549 --> 00:10:14,350
They'll never win, Kotter.
196
00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:17,069
It's gonna be Blowfish Bigalow
all the way.
197
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,618
Yeah.
198
00:10:20,701 --> 00:10:24,104
Maybe the news'll snap him out
of his coma.
199
00:10:24,571 --> 00:10:26,148
[indistinct announcement]
200
00:10:26,231 --> 00:10:27,691
Shh!
201
00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:29,651
Our judges have
selected the winner
202
00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:31,153
who will go on
to represent the city
203
00:10:31,236 --> 00:10:32,938
at the statewide finals.
204
00:10:32,958 --> 00:10:35,239
And the winner is...
205
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,141
...Three Do's and a Don't.
206
00:10:38,224 --> 00:10:39,272
[cheering]
207
00:10:39,355 --> 00:10:40,856
[shouting]
208
00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:49,128
Go on, get out there,
get out there!
209
00:10:49,128 --> 00:10:51,499
[cheering]
210
00:10:54,043 --> 00:10:57,607
Congratulations, Kotter,
I knew we could do it.
211
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,550
"We", Mr. Woodman?
212
00:10:59,633 --> 00:11:00,992
Well, of course,
I haven't forgotten
213
00:11:01,075 --> 00:11:02,037
your part in it.
214
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:04,118
You should be out there
taking bows, too.
215
00:11:04,201 --> 00:11:06,665
You really think
I should go out there?
216
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:10,490
I'll take care of it.
217
00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:13,694
[applause stops]
218
00:11:15,423 --> 00:11:18,488
Looky here, I don't care
what the first offer is,
219
00:11:18,571 --> 00:11:19,533
we say no.
220
00:11:19,616 --> 00:11:23,293
Well, all I know is I want
to change my name.
221
00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:25,285
Elton Horshack.
222
00:11:26,124 --> 00:11:27,648
I've got a better one
than that.
223
00:11:27,731 --> 00:11:31,327
How about
Arnold blood, sweat, and tears?
224
00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:32,410
You know what I want?
225
00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:35,635
I want one of them snakes
like Alice Cooper got.
226
00:11:35,718 --> 00:11:38,961
You can keep the snakes,
I'll take his groupies.
227
00:11:39,044 --> 00:11:40,629
Hey, guys,
it's onto the state finals.
228
00:11:40,712 --> 00:11:42,054
I'm really happy you won.
229
00:11:42,054 --> 00:11:43,637
I gotta go home,
I got a babysitter
230
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,655
that charges by the diaper.
231
00:11:47,938 --> 00:11:50,307
Did you really think
we was good?
232
00:11:51,401 --> 00:11:52,560
Oh, look at this,
look at this
233
00:11:52,643 --> 00:11:54,224
the heartbreak starts already.
234
00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:56,506
Hi, I'm Cassy,
I'm the winner from upstate.
235
00:11:56,527 --> 00:11:59,827
Oh, I bet you're winning
downstate too.
236
00:11:59,910 --> 00:12:01,030
I know that
we'll be competing
237
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:02,229
against each other
in the finals
238
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,511
but I just wanted
to come backstage
239
00:12:03,594 --> 00:12:04,715
and wish you guys luck anyway.
240
00:12:04,715 --> 00:12:06,804
- Thank you!
- Alright, thanks a lot!
241
00:12:06,886 --> 00:12:08,428
Hey, listen,
you better kiss me real quick
242
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:12,612
'cause there's gonna be a
big line forming in back of you.
243
00:12:12,613 --> 00:12:14,945
Kiss you? We're barely
at the handshaking stage.
244
00:12:14,945 --> 00:12:19,387
Whoa, oh, Vincent.
245
00:12:19,470 --> 00:12:22,472
A handshake
instead of a kiss.
246
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,192
You're embarrassing me
in front of my friends.
247
00:12:29,275 --> 00:12:31,857
Just give me a big wet one
in between my petals.
248
00:12:31,858 --> 00:12:35,428
Vinnie, I am not interested
in your petals.
249
00:12:35,511 --> 00:12:36,511
As a matter of fact
250
00:12:36,511 --> 00:12:38,211
I don't even want
to shake your hand anymore.
251
00:12:38,294 --> 00:12:41,731
Hey, guys, she likes to get
right into the heavy stuff.
252
00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:43,078
Heavy stuff?
253
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,063
Man, I have never met
anyone like you
254
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:46,424
in my entire life.
255
00:12:46,506 --> 00:12:49,958
Oh, well, thank you, people
tell me that all the time.
256
00:12:49,958 --> 00:12:51,813
And I never want to.
257
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,335
Hey, Vinnie, my man,
I know you ain't never heard
258
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:55,539
one like that before,
did you, right?
259
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:57,203
Hey, you guys, come here.
260
00:12:57,204 --> 00:12:59,629
Why don't you
take your friend here
261
00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:01,935
and put him
in front of a mirror
262
00:13:01,935 --> 00:13:04,677
and watch him
wear out his petals.
263
00:13:04,678 --> 00:13:07,093
[laughing]
264
00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:11,996
I cannot believe what
I have just witnessed.
265
00:13:12,078 --> 00:13:17,214
A little bee who has tasted
Vincent Barbarino's honey...
266
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:19,089
...and gagged.
267
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:21,239
[laughing]
268
00:13:23,232 --> 00:13:24,294
That was nothing.
269
00:13:24,377 --> 00:13:26,497
You don't gotta tell us
it was nothin'.
270
00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:29,482
We was standin' right here.
271
00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:40,641
Hey, wait a minute.
272
00:13:40,724 --> 00:13:42,801
You, you can't do that.
273
00:13:42,884 --> 00:13:44,026
I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
274
00:13:44,109 --> 00:13:46,049
Nobody puts
Vinnie Barbarino down.
275
00:13:46,131 --> 00:13:48,833
Well, now someone has.
276
00:13:49,535 --> 00:13:51,697
What's the matter with you
anyway?
277
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:53,867
You know, Vinnie,
you just seem to treat girls
278
00:13:53,943 --> 00:13:56,607
like they're things, you know,
like they're just objects
279
00:13:56,607 --> 00:13:58,167
that are automatically
gonna fall down
280
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,350
and kiss your feet.
281
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,163
You been talkin' to Delores?
282
00:14:04,898 --> 00:14:06,529
Forget her,
she's got no class.
283
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:07,961
She's got no class?
284
00:14:08,044 --> 00:14:10,680
Then who are you,
the Duke of Windsor?
285
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:12,852
Oh, I see you like
the gentleman type
286
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,315
the kind that'll
kiss your hands hello
287
00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:18,141
and give you flowers, right?
288
00:14:18,361 --> 00:14:19,222
Ow.
289
00:14:19,305 --> 00:14:22,479
You had something in your eye
I had to get it.
290
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,703
Yeah, your finger.
291
00:14:25,662 --> 00:14:27,685
That is not how
a gentleman acts.
292
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:30,608
You're telling me that I do not
know how a gentleman acts?
293
00:14:30,691 --> 00:14:32,953
Yes, that's exactly
what I'm telling you.
294
00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:35,516
Well, then why don't you just
show me how a gentleman acts?
295
00:14:35,536 --> 00:14:37,303
Alright, I will.
Come here.
296
00:14:37,386 --> 00:14:38,997
Come over here and sit down.
297
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,752
Maybe you can
teach me somethin'.
298
00:14:40,753 --> 00:14:42,213
Yeah.
299
00:14:43,045 --> 00:14:44,545
Ready?
300
00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:45,824
Okay.
301
00:14:45,907 --> 00:14:48,448
Hi, I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
302
00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:51,547
This is ridiculous.
303
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:53,272
I want to thank you
for coming backstage
304
00:14:53,272 --> 00:14:55,372
and congratulating me.
305
00:14:56,536 --> 00:14:59,439
Well, Vinnie,
you were so good, I had to.
306
00:15:04,179 --> 00:15:05,745
Do you know
something, Cassy?
307
00:15:05,828 --> 00:15:07,260
You are very pretty.
308
00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:11,069
There's something so warm
and feminine about you.
309
00:15:11,152 --> 00:15:11,973
Oh, thank you.
310
00:15:12,056 --> 00:15:15,138
My mama, she always
told me to be feminine.
311
00:15:16,786 --> 00:15:18,046
Well, if she could
see you now
312
00:15:18,129 --> 00:15:20,668
she'd be very proud
of her lovely daughter.
313
00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:23,775
Oh, Vincent,
let's stop this craziness.
314
00:15:25,076 --> 00:15:29,018
Vinnie, why don't you
just stop the phoniness
315
00:15:29,101 --> 00:15:31,221
and ask me out for a date?
316
00:15:31,304 --> 00:15:33,414
- Ask you out?
- Yeah.
317
00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:35,947
You wanna go out
with a guy like me?
318
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,092
Well, you're such a gentleman.
319
00:15:38,092 --> 00:15:42,015
And I am, I'm such a lady.
320
00:15:43,292 --> 00:15:44,292
What do you say, Cassy?
321
00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:45,814
You wanna see Brooklyn?
322
00:15:45,897 --> 00:15:48,038
I could be your guide.
323
00:15:48,521 --> 00:15:50,279
Well... why not?
324
00:15:50,362 --> 00:15:53,265
I've never been out
with anyone like me before.
325
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,408
Yeah, me either.
326
00:15:58,229 --> 00:15:59,491
Oh, Vincent, Vincent, wait
327
00:15:59,574 --> 00:16:01,597
I forgot my purse.
328
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:11,245
Here's your change,
Mr. Gabe, teach.
329
00:16:11,328 --> 00:16:13,090
Thanks, professor.
330
00:16:13,954 --> 00:16:15,711
I had a wonderful evening,
honey.
331
00:16:15,794 --> 00:16:16,735
Thanks.
332
00:16:16,818 --> 00:16:17,802
You mean it's over?
333
00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:20,723
You're not gonna invite me
back to your place.
334
00:16:22,887 --> 00:16:25,628
Only if you promise
not to wake my babies.
335
00:16:25,711 --> 00:16:29,127
Babies? You have babies?
336
00:16:30,078 --> 00:16:32,940
You probably have a husband,
too, huh?
337
00:16:34,506 --> 00:16:39,141
Honey, what's with you
and Melody Mishkin?
338
00:16:39,976 --> 00:16:41,278
Who's Melody Mishkin?
339
00:16:41,361 --> 00:16:44,407
And after what you did
to that poor girl.
340
00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:48,994
What did I do?
341
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:53,839
It says right here,
"July 5,1962."
342
00:16:53,922 --> 00:16:56,022
Graffiti doesn't lie.
343
00:16:57,736 --> 00:16:59,198
Julie, you cannot believe
everything you read
344
00:16:59,198 --> 00:17:00,759
on the top of a table.
345
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,310
Come on, let's go.
346
00:17:02,393 --> 00:17:03,293
Bye, Lou, see ya!
347
00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:04,816
- See ya later, teach!
- Bye, Lou.
348
00:17:04,817 --> 00:17:05,952
Okay, bye-bye.
349
00:17:05,953 --> 00:17:08,439
- Uh-oh.
- Hey, the Kotters!
350
00:17:08,523 --> 00:17:10,634
How you doin', vin?
351
00:17:18,042 --> 00:17:18,943
- Sorry.
- It's okay, Vinnie.
352
00:17:18,943 --> 00:17:21,321
The gentleman
in you isn't very old.
353
00:17:21,405 --> 00:17:22,905
- Hi, Cassy, how are you doing?
- Hi, how are you?
354
00:17:22,988 --> 00:17:24,830
I'd like you to meet my wife.
Julie, this is Cassy.
355
00:17:24,851 --> 00:17:26,250
- Hi, Cassy.
- Hi.
356
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,812
So, you been having fun
with Vinnie?
357
00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:29,195
Oh yeah,
we're having a lot of fun.
358
00:17:29,195 --> 00:17:31,337
I took her to all the hip
places in Brooklyn.
359
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:33,880
Yeah, we went to
the Fulton Fish Market
360
00:17:33,963 --> 00:17:35,345
and he took me to the barbershop
361
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:38,195
where "Clams" Cassini
got bumped off.
362
00:17:39,631 --> 00:17:42,534
I let her sit in the chair
and everything.
363
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,276
You know, when "Clams"
went into that barbershop
364
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,927
and said, "Take a little bit
off the top"
365
00:17:47,938 --> 00:17:50,520
he didn't know
what he was in for.
366
00:17:56,369 --> 00:17:57,172
Joke.
367
00:17:57,255 --> 00:18:00,050
So, you been rehearsing
all weekend?
368
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:02,635
Oh yeah, it's been great, huh?
369
00:18:02,812 --> 00:18:04,175
We've been rehearsin' a lot.
370
00:18:04,258 --> 00:18:05,824
Good, we've got some
stiff competition.
371
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,058
You know, there's a guy
from Syracuse
372
00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:09,510
that pulls hats
out of a rabbit.
373
00:18:11,321 --> 00:18:13,422
We better go,
we've gotta be in by 11.
374
00:18:13,505 --> 00:18:15,885
My father is very strict.
375
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:18,430
You livin'
with your father now?
376
00:18:19,319 --> 00:18:21,901
Joke. Vinnie, joke.
377
00:18:21,984 --> 00:18:23,057
See you around.
378
00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:24,140
Bye, nice to meet you.
379
00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:25,999
Nice meeting you, Cassy.
380
00:18:26,082 --> 00:18:28,182
I didn't order this.
381
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,423
Those Kotters are nice people,
you know.
382
00:18:33,506 --> 00:18:34,630
Yeah.
383
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,715
They always ask me
for advice and stuff.
384
00:18:38,896 --> 00:18:42,202
Vinnie, um, why did you tell 'em
you've been rehearsing?
385
00:18:42,285 --> 00:18:44,105
You've been with me
all weekend.
386
00:18:44,188 --> 00:18:45,179
Well, listen, sweetheart
387
00:18:45,189 --> 00:18:47,909
the reason I did that
was because, you see
388
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:51,735
he don't understand when someone
digs someone else, you dig?
389
00:18:51,819 --> 00:18:54,188
I mean, he's married.
390
00:18:59,651 --> 00:19:01,414
I'd ask you what's on your mind
391
00:19:01,414 --> 00:19:04,336
but since you haven't
got one...
392
00:19:05,442 --> 00:19:07,858
What's on your stomach's mind?
393
00:19:08,776 --> 00:19:11,126
You're embarrassing me
in front of this lady here.
394
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:13,058
Just give me the usual.
395
00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:16,094
Separate checks?
396
00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:19,417
What'll you have?
397
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:23,503
I think I'll have
a banana split please.
398
00:19:23,805 --> 00:19:25,247
Alright, make it
two banana splits
399
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:29,830
with the pistachio
and the lemon ice cream
400
00:19:29,913 --> 00:19:31,492
and a strawberry.
401
00:19:31,575 --> 00:19:33,776
You're out with a baboon.
402
00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:37,577
He knows I only got
chocolate and vanilla.
403
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:47,407
[snapping]
404
00:19:55,506 --> 00:19:56,750
Cassy, don't pay
no attention to them
405
00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:59,538
they're babies,
they're just babies.
406
00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:01,081
Vinnie.
407
00:20:01,185 --> 00:20:03,147
You're still trying
to hold my hand?
408
00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:08,410
No, I think it's time that
we went beyond that stage.
409
00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:09,966
Ooh.
410
00:20:13,223 --> 00:20:14,603
Well, I don't know
if I can do that
411
00:20:14,686 --> 00:20:17,266
you see, I'm a gentleman
and you're a lady.
412
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:20,293
And this is a public place.
413
00:20:20,394 --> 00:20:24,398
Well, why don't you just pretend
that you're Vinnie Barbarino
414
00:20:24,398 --> 00:20:27,218
and give me
a great big, wet one
415
00:20:27,302 --> 00:20:30,066
right between the petals?
416
00:20:39,978 --> 00:20:41,478
Hello.
417
00:20:42,799 --> 00:20:46,184
You are... you are disgusting.
418
00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:50,194
I just came by to inform you
that some of your friends
419
00:20:50,194 --> 00:20:52,896
are sitting over
in the next booth.
420
00:20:52,979 --> 00:20:54,439
Bye.
421
00:20:56,042 --> 00:20:57,883
Well, next time,
have the maître d'
422
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,450
bring me a note.
423
00:21:00,470 --> 00:21:02,958
Go on, go on
and sit with your friends.
424
00:21:03,042 --> 00:21:04,399
Alright.
425
00:21:04,483 --> 00:21:06,682
You know, you're knuckleheads,
all of ya
426
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,987
can't you see I'm entertaining
a lovely young lady?
427
00:21:10,008 --> 00:21:11,469
Oh, yeah? Where?
428
00:21:11,529 --> 00:21:14,749
On the roof or behind
the billboards?
429
00:21:14,772 --> 00:21:17,054
This ain't like that, Epstein,
so you better watch it.
430
00:21:17,074 --> 00:21:18,913
We don't care what it's like,
I don't care what it's like
431
00:21:18,996 --> 00:21:20,154
alright?
432
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,656
Only thing I know is that
since you met that chick
433
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,681
you ain't been
to rehearsals once, man.
434
00:21:24,681 --> 00:21:26,436
Now the finals,
they're this Friday,
435
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,702
and we want to win,
it's important to us.
436
00:21:29,785 --> 00:21:31,324
Well, I want to win, too.
437
00:21:31,407 --> 00:21:33,008
Yeah, well,
to be brutally frank, Vincent
438
00:21:33,008 --> 00:21:34,730
you sure don't act like it.
439
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:36,849
Yeah, yeah, and you can bet that
your girlfriend over there
440
00:21:36,932 --> 00:21:40,102
she wants to win more
than anything in the world.
441
00:21:40,282 --> 00:21:41,474
Oh, that's right.
442
00:21:41,557 --> 00:21:44,000
Oh, that's right, I guess she
probably does want to win, huh?
443
00:21:44,001 --> 00:21:45,736
You better believe it.
444
00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:47,400
I forgot. I forgot, guys.
445
00:21:47,484 --> 00:21:49,844
I forgot that she was
even in the contest.
446
00:21:49,927 --> 00:21:52,430
No, no, no, no, you forgot
that you was in the contest.
447
00:21:52,430 --> 00:21:53,890
Yeah.
448
00:21:54,148 --> 00:21:55,890
I can't do it, guys.
449
00:21:55,974 --> 00:21:57,715
You can't do what, Vincent?
450
00:21:57,756 --> 00:21:59,255
I can't be in the contest.
451
00:21:59,338 --> 00:22:00,336
What?
452
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:03,040
How can I compete against Cassy?
453
00:22:03,746 --> 00:22:05,527
Oh, man.
454
00:22:06,565 --> 00:22:08,141
Oh, wow.
455
00:22:08,224 --> 00:22:09,585
Shoo.
456
00:22:09,668 --> 00:22:10,530
Oh, wait...
come on, Epstein
457
00:22:10,613 --> 00:22:13,369
you understand these men-women
love story things.
458
00:22:13,453 --> 00:22:15,936
I'll catch you later, Vinnie.
459
00:22:16,019 --> 00:22:19,162
Oh, come on, Horshack,
come on, buddy.
460
00:22:19,182 --> 00:22:23,382
Vinnie, I got caught
in the middle once too often.
461
00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:28,228
You make your own decision.
462
00:22:28,311 --> 00:22:30,893
Her or us.
463
00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:41,518
[Gabe narrating] Has true love finally
come to Vinnie Barbarino?
464
00:22:41,601 --> 00:22:43,023
Will the Three Do's and a Don't
465
00:22:43,023 --> 00:22:45,943
become the Three Do's
and a No-show?
466
00:22:46,026 --> 00:22:50,044
Has this face taken the place
of these faces?
467
00:22:50,128 --> 00:22:53,532
Why does this girl
keep turning Vinnie's head?
468
00:22:53,615 --> 00:22:57,705
Why does this man's food keep
turning everyone's stomach?
469
00:22:57,779 --> 00:22:59,481
Is this the girl
who comes between
470
00:22:59,481 --> 00:23:01,600
the Sweathogs and Vinnie?
471
00:23:01,684 --> 00:23:04,184
For the answers to this
two part question
472
00:23:04,267 --> 00:23:07,938
see part two of
"Welcome Back, Kotter..."
473
00:23:07,938 --> 00:23:10,326
I don't have a question
for these two
474
00:23:10,326 --> 00:23:14,030
but I thought they were so cute
you'd like to see them.
475
00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:18,795
Rachel, did I ever
tell you the story
476
00:23:18,879 --> 00:23:21,542
about the father who was about
to put his son to sleep?
477
00:23:21,625 --> 00:23:23,268
Listen to this, Rachel,
it's good.
478
00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:25,412
The son says, "Daddy, is it true
479
00:23:25,412 --> 00:23:27,089
that the stork
brings us babies?"
480
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:28,313
The father says, "Yes."
481
00:23:28,397 --> 00:23:29,998
He says, "Daddy, is it true
that Santa Claus
482
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,524
brings us Christmas presents?"
483
00:23:31,608 --> 00:23:32,782
He says, "Yes."
484
00:23:32,866 --> 00:23:34,666
He says, "Daddy,
is it true that the Lord
485
00:23:34,749 --> 00:23:35,952
gives us our daily bread?"
486
00:23:35,972 --> 00:23:37,475
and the father says, "Yes."
487
00:23:37,475 --> 00:23:41,179
So then the son says, "Daddy,
what do we need you for?"
488
00:23:50,553 --> 00:23:53,664
[theme song]
489
00:23:57,734 --> 00:24:00,654
♪ Welcome back ♪
490
00:24:00,737 --> 00:24:04,179
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
491
00:24:04,262 --> 00:24:06,616
♪ Welcome back ♪
492
00:24:06,699 --> 00:24:11,578
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
493
00:24:11,661 --> 00:24:15,974
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
494
00:24:16,057 --> 00:24:20,107
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
495
00:24:20,190 --> 00:24:22,197
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
496
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,243
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
497
00:24:24,326 --> 00:24:26,201
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
498
00:24:26,284 --> 00:24:28,508
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
499
00:24:28,591 --> 00:24:32,424
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
500
00:24:32,507 --> 00:24:34,993
♪ Welcome back ♪
501
00:24:35,076 --> 00:24:39,126
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
502
00:24:39,209 --> 00:24:41,565
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
503
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:44,176
♪ Welcome back ♪
504
00:24:44,259 --> 00:24:47,875
♪ We always could
spot a friend ♪
505
00:24:47,958 --> 00:24:50,312
♪ Welcome back ♪
506
00:24:50,395 --> 00:24:54,882
♪ And I smile when I think
how you must've been ♪
507
00:24:54,965 --> 00:24:59,234
♪ And I know what a scene
you were learnin' in ♪
508
00:24:59,317 --> 00:25:03,456
♪ Was there something
that made you come back again ♪
509
00:25:03,539 --> 00:25:05,062
♪ Then what could
ever lead ya ♪♪
37244
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